Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2003 00:51:01 +0200
From: Neea P. <nea_1@hotmail.com>
Subject: Needing You chapter 31

The interview part of the chapter co-written with the lovely Korandda!
Thanks also to Izzy (beta goddess!), Summy, Libby, Rob and Dan, Writie,
Metra, Peter, Ryan, Andy, Myoshi, Julienne, Trish, Bethany, Jimmy, Lincoln,
JT, Angel, Nyn, Cindy, Pat, Frithjof, Alexa, *Jane*, Shawn, M Foster, and
all the other wonderful people who have graced me with their kind and
helpful comments.  Hell, it's to everybody who takes the time to read it!
Enjoy...

Disclaimer: This story is not meant to imply anything about the true
sexuality or personal lives of the celebrities mentioned. Adult (m/m)
content, probably foul language, don't be illegal, stuff like that. Any
likeness to people personally known to me is either purely coincidental and
unintended, or devoid of malevolence.

NEEDING YOU
CHAPTER 31
By Neqs

Marshall woke up gradually, awareness trickling back in slowly increasing
degrees. First, he noticed he wasn't in a hotel room, or in his own bedroom
for that matter. He felt warm and comfortable, so he was pretty sure he was
somewhere safe. Then his lazily wandering eyes encountered a thong hanging
from the ceiling lamp and he chortled in surprised amusement. Oh,
right. They were at Lance's place.

They'd been in a hurry the night before, so the clothes had been flung
wherever. He could vaguely recall that Lance's shirt had been abandoned on
the stairs and been trampled on - well, he'd wash and iron it. Or not,
because he'd probably ruin it with his inexistent household skills. Maybe
he would just buy Lance a new one. Lance would be pissed but also amused,
and Marshall was sure that he'd get lots of cute-points for that. He smiled
impishly. He'd never lie to Lance, but that didn't mean he couldn't trick
him a little. It was almost a game for them.

"I know what you're thinking." Marshall almost jumped at the unexpected
sound, but he felt far too content and secure to budge. Instead, he turned
to look at Lance, who was leaning his chin on his hands with an expression
of exasperated affection on his sleep-tousled face.

"Oh? If you say so. But what are you thinking about when you look so
solemn?"

Lance shrugged, as much as he could when lying on his stomach. His hair was
flat in places and spiky in others. His face had that slightly full quality
that comes after sleep, but his eyes were aware and thoughtful.

"I was just...all this is happening so fast. First no one knew, and the
next day everybody knew about us. I just don't want us to lose each other,
or lose ourselves, in the flashes of cameras. I've seen that happen to so
many people, too many couples I really thought would last."

Marshall lifted his hand and brushed the back of his fingers over Lance's
cheek and neck, gentle as air. "I think I get what you're saying. I don't
want to lose you either, or lose myself - I've been there, and it feels
horrible. But I know I'll never lose you, James. And as long as I have you,
I'll never lose myself. As stupid as it sounds, you...define me."

Lance's eyes were moist and luminous at that point, and he was smiling like
he'd just been handed the moon. "Ditto," he whispered with a voice made
thick by the early hour and the emotions threatening to overcome him.

"Ditto? I tell the guy he's my universe and he says ditto? I'm insulted!"
Marshall declared mock- hurt, trying to joke the impending tears away. He
was something of a closet romantic; he could be embarrassingly sentimental
at times. But crying still was not one of his favorite pastimes, so he
launched a tickle attack on his unsuspecting fiance.

Caught by surprise, Lance could only squeal and try to squirm out of reach.
Marshall blocked his escape by straddling his legs, and Lance reacted by
curling into a protective ball around his ticklish middle. He was flushed
and his hair was a mess, and he was trying to laugh and yelp at the same
time. He'd rarely looked more beautiful to Marshall.

Marshall loved seeing Lance relaxed and playful. The green-eyed man took
life too seriously sometimes, worrying excessively about work, fame, love,
or life in general.  It was a rare pleasure to watch him be so spontaneous
and full of life. Naturally, Lance was relaxed when they were together, and
could let his control slip during sex, but this was different.  When
Marshall looked at Lance now, panting for breath and grinning like crazy,
he could see the child Lance had been. The child was still there, of
course, but he was fiercely protected by an older, more cynical Lance.
Marshall treasured every time Lance let his inner child out to play and
looked at the world with innocence and joy instead wariness.

* * *

Lance took one look at the clothes they handed to him and laughed. Marshall
stared at the clothes he'd been given and froze. Then he looked over at
Lance's selection and chuckled, greatly amused.  When they had changed,
they stood still for a minute to take in each other's outfits.

Lance was wearing large blue jeans, hanging low. His sleeveless t-shirt was
black and large. On his head was a dark blue bandanna at a rakish
angle. Marshall snorted. "Haven't you ever worn a bandanna before? No,
don't answer that, just stay still while I fix this."

The singer, now dressed like a rapper, stood patiently while Marshall
fussed with his headwear.  "Em, honey, right this moment, you are so gay,"
he quipped after a while.  His fiance gave his head a few more tugs and
pulled back, muttering about ungrateful bastards who didn't even know how
to wear a fucking bandanna.

"Yeah, yeah. Now let me take a look at you."

Marshall seemed reluctant to pose for him at first, but when Lance just
kept looking at him, eyes shining with appreciation, he began to preen
under the admiring gaze.

The rapper was also wearing jeans, but not the kind he normally wore. They
were tight enough to show off his thighs and backside. The denim had been
artfully bleached and embroidered with red and dark blue thread. His dark
gray cotton shirt was neither tight nor loose, and it had wide lapels.

"Are you sure you're not wearing my clothes and vice versa?" he asked Lance
doubtfully. They were the right size but still...

"Yeah, I guess it's the point. I think it's kind of funny, don't you?"
Marshall raked his eyes over Lance again, from oversized sneakers to blue
bandanna.

"Okay, it is a little funny."

Make-up spiked Marshall's hair and gave him a diamond earring. Lance
received a few fake tattoos on his arms, but refused the bigger ones. When
they were finished with Marshall, he turned to get a good look, and gasped.

"Holy shit!" He felt a dull thud when the blood in his veins rushed to
migrate southwards. "Is that...is that eyeliner?"

Marshall smirked at him, happy that he'd managed to surprise Lance. "What,
have you never seen me wear make-up before?"

"Um, no I haven't!" Lance was devouring him with his eyes now, breathing
more heavily.

"Oh, okay."

"What do mean, 'oh okay'? Marshall, you're wearing eye-liner!"

"Baby, take it easy. Man, if I'd known about this kink... At least now I
know why you like the videos where I do drag," he said with a grin, gleeful
to have flustered Lance. The man was normally too calm for his own good!
Besides, he looked damn edible with desire-darkened eyes and a flushed
face. However, now was not the time. They would have to work first, and
play later.

* * *

The shoot had been fairly pleasant this far. They'd posed in many
positions, but Lance's favorite was when they were lying down on the soft
carpet, Lance on top of Marshall's back, his arms circling the rapper's
neck loosely, chin resting on his shoulder. Marshall had griped about him
being heavy, but Lance knew he was only joking - his fiance had told him
often enough that he was perfect just the way he was. Marshall was always
telling him to eat, fearful of anorexia ever since Lance had told him about
his teenage experiments with dieting pills.

Blair, the photographer -- a wiry redhead with a goatee and a brisk,
energetic manner - admired the picture they made, cuddling cheek-to-cheek
on the rug.

"Perfect! That's great, very sweet, guys, very romantic. Lance, please tilt
your head away from Eminem, yeah, that's it. Okay, let's show some skin
next!"

"How much skin are we talking about here?" Marshall asked.

"Just take the shirts off for now, that should do it." Blair snapped a few
more pictures of them standing up, and then directed them to the
loveseat. "Guys, I'd like to see you curl up together, almost face to face,
and intertwine you legs, okay? Knees bent. Now, lean back and sort of away
from each other, but show your closeness by angling your bodies towards
each other. Look to the lens, radiate quiet strength, and think screw-you
thoughts."

Lance raised his eyebrow. "Screw-you thoughts, what does that mean?"

"You're happy, you're at peace, you're in love, and screw anyone who tries
to give you any grief.  They're nothing to you. You know the risks and
don't care, but you don't live with your head in the clouds either. You're
smart, sexy, and out of the market - too bad. That, my friend, is a short
and informal definition of screw-you thoughts," Blair wound up with a
flourish.

Marshall lifted an eyebrow in a fair imitation of Lance. "What do you say,
babe? Think you can do what he said?"

Lance's answering look was arch but not without affection. Neither of them
paid any attention to Blair, who was using his camera feverishly, murmuring
'perfect' under his breath.

* * *

"I'd like to try something a little different next," Blair said. Marshall
glowered at him but held his peace, and it was Lance who spoke next.

"What kind of 'different' are we talking about here?" he asked, echoing
Marshall's question from earlier during the session. Somehow, he didn't
like the sound of that. It seemed like the photographer wasn't confident
that they'd agree to whatever he had planned, otherwise he would have just
told them how to he wanted them to pose.

"Well, we've seen you in regular clothes now, so I thought a little leather
would be nice...just pants and vests, maybe a whip or two, to get some B&D,
S&M vibe, you know..."

Lance and Marshall tuned out Blair's voice and shared an incredulous look.
S&M? Whips? Like * that * was going to happen, during a photo shoot at
least! They tuned back in to what the photographer was saying:

"...I thought that Lance would of course be the sub, and-"

Lance couldn't help but feel a twinge of hurt. He would "of course" be the
sub? He knew he wasn't as butch as Em was, and generally he liked being the
one on the bottom. But this...did people really see him as the sub of what
was not, and would never be, a BDSM relationship.  He knew his lover didn't
think so. He glanced at Marshall, who was...apparently struck dumb by
rage. His face was red with anger, his eyes dangerously narrowed, and his
hands seemed eager to wring someone's neck - the person in question being
the man who had just insulted his mate.

"WHO THE * FUCK * DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! What the FUCK do you mean, "of
course," do you have any idea how close your fucking ass is to death right
now?  You're lucky if I don't sue you for this, in fact you're lucky if I
sue you instead of * shooting * you!  James is a thousand times the man you
are, and don't you ever forget it!" The last angry words still bouncing off
the walls, Marshall turned with barely controlled fury and stormed into
their dressing room, with Lance right behind him.

The slam of the door closing heralded a charged silence. Marshall was still
red at face and pacing; Lance was standing pale and statue-still near the
door, shaking with anger and hurt. Finally Marshall seemed to snap out of
it, although the way he turned unerringly towards Lance made clear that
he'd been conscious of his presence.

"You know I don't think of you that way, right?" Marshall seemed upset at
the prospect, and Lance melted.

"Yeah, I know. I don't need to be the top dog all the time to be safe in my
masculinity." Lance smiled to take out the sting.

"Let's blow this joint, okay?"

"Interview first. But I think it's safe to say that there won't be any more
photos taken!"

* * *

The interview section of the day proved less dramatic and traumatic than
the photo shoot. The interviewer was a pleasant, unabashedly nosy brunette
called Dan. After getting comfortable and exchanging pleasantries they got
down to business.

D: So, how did the two of you get together?
L: We sort of bumped into each other and started talking, and found out that
we had more things in
common than we realized. We just clicked, right from the start.
D: Ah, that's sweet! So who made the first move, Lance, weren't you scared
that Eminem would
beat you up for coming onto him?
L: We weren't in public then, so we could shed our public personas and talk
more freely. I didn't
have any cause to fear Marshall's reaction. It was actually he who made the
first move.
D : So Lance, I noticed that you are wearing what looks like a very
beautiful engagement ring. Care
to share the details of the ring with us?
L: Yeah, it's an engagement ring. As you can probably see, it has emeralds
and sapphires in a
platinum frame, sort of symbolizing the similarities and differences in our
looks.
D: The two of you are really getting married? Oh that's great,
congratulations!
M: That's correct. We're sort of, yeah, we're getting married. Eventually.
D: So do you have any of the wedding plans ready, and would you be willing
to share them with
our readers? Such as colors, theme? I won't even ask for the place because
then it will just get
changed, right?
M: Uh... (Looks bewildered at Lance.)
L(Pokerfaced, maybe slightly amused.): We haven't really had time to plan
the details just yet, but
I'm sure my mother will have lots of ideas.
D : Aw, who would ever believe that Eminem would look so adorable with a
confused look on his
face!
(Marshall blushes and starts to look a little angry. Lance rubs a soothing
hand over his neck.)
D: Eminem, how has dating a pop star changed your life?
M: Well, his friends are very different from mine, for one thing. They're
mostly cool, although
Kirkpatrick has a sense of humor that'll get his ass kicked one day.
D: What makes you say that, Eminem? Does this have any connection with the
song where you rap
"Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked?"
M: You know my lyrics? No comment.
D: So did all your friends react positively?
M: Most of them. Some had a few hang-ups, but got over them.
L: My guys were really supportive. On the other hand, it's not like I was
the only gay guy in the
band!
D: Yes, Justin and JC are another hot new couple! We'll be interviewing them
separately, but would
you care to share some little inside info about them?
M: They f*** like bunnies.
L: Em! They're really head over heels in love with each other. It's lovely
to watch, it's like they're
on a never-ending honeymoon.
D: Lance, what would you like the world to know about Eminem that it doesn't
already?
L: What I'd like the world to know about Em... First of all, he's a really
smart guy, not half as
ignorant as his image suggests. People think that he's violent and
homophobic, but they don't realize
how much his image has hurt him. Sure, he made some bad choices when he was
younger, but
people wouldn't let him get over it, move on. He's the best man I know.
D: How sweet! Eminem, what would you like the world to know about Lance that
isn't in all the
teeny mags already?
M: Hmm, what isn't there from his shoe size to his favorite music? I guess I
could tell you about the
way he likes to lick my-- (Lance interrupts, blushing furiously.)
L: EM!
(Marshall grins naughtily.)
D: Other than getting engaged, what is the most special moment that you too
have spent together,
and is it the same moment for both of you?
L: Seriously, there are so many... We went on a vacation together a few
months back, on a tropical
island. It was a paradise, and we had some really special moments there.
M: I think so too. And when Lance met Hailie; that was very special to me.
D: Ah, so you went on a trip, that's sweet. Was it a surprise or was it
planned out, because we've
heard that Lance is a great planner?
M: (laughs) Yeah, it was definitely a surprise! Dre was in on the scheme, he
helped Lance kidnap
me!
D: Wow, that does sound pretty unusual! So Lance has met Hailie. What do you
think of her, did
you get along well?
L: Yeah, she's amazing, we got along really well. She has her father's
charm, after all.
D: When you are on tour, do you get to send time together and how did you
manage to do it without
the press finding out?
L: It was rather difficult, having to hide it so carefully, but we couldn't
*not* see each other.
Luckily, the hotels were very discreet about it.
D: So how long exactly have you been dating?
M: We've been dating for about seven or eight months now. It hasn't always
been easy, with one or
both of us on tour or in the studio, but it's definitely worth it.
D: Are you going to try living together before the commitment ceremony?
M: Things have been a little crazy lately, so we've been living all over the
place, but we want to live
together. I'd rather not say where, I'm sure you understand why.
D: Of course! Tell me, are you going to buy a house together and if so, whom
are you planning on
doing the decorating?
M: We want to live together, maybe buy a house, but, um, decorating? I think
I'll let James decide.
D: So what do your parents feel about you dating?
M: I don't give a f*** about what my mother thinks about it. Lance's mom is
fine with it, I've met
her and she's a lovely lady.
D: So you will probably get along well with your future in laws?
L: My mom loves Em, she even bought his latest album. My dad's not thrilled,
but he'll just have to
deal.
D: Your mom Lance likes to listen to Eminem's music, how adorable is that?
Has she been to any of
his concerts or seen them on DVD or pay-per-view?
L: Actually, she bought the album to find out more about Em, but she really
liked some of the
songs, although she doesn't approve of foul language in general.
D: Well Eminem, is there any particular style of furniture that you do
enjoy?
(Marshall looks puzzled, then pleadingly at Lance.)
L: Sorry, Em's not very big on decorating. But I've noticed he loves big,
overstuffed armchairs
D: Well that's okay, we understand that not every gay man out there is a
decorator waiting to come
out! But it does happen to come up as a topic quite frequently, so we try to
ask.
D: Besides sneaking in to see each other on tour, what do you do with your
free time?
M: We both love music, of course, although we listen to a wide variety of
stuff. I like to read, and
James loves to do his business stuff. Sometimes I think he loves his laptop
more than he loves me!
D: Lance, I'm sure you do other stuff besides business, right?
L: On tour, we're mostly dead tired, but it's always nice to learn more
about the city, state, or
country we're visiting. Also, as you said earlier on, I love to plan things,
make lists and so on.
Sounds boring, I know, but mine is a strange and frightening mind. (Grins.)
(Marshall leans in and kisses him.)
M: But it's a very lovable mind.
D: Lance and you have both brought up the fact that you are a bit more
intellectual than the world
knows, could you name some of your favorite authors?
M: Okay, don't laugh, but I like Jane Austen. She has this really nice,
ironic way of saying things.
D: That's great, so you like the classics?
M: I like some lighter stuff too, but classics have so many layers, you
know?
D: So Lance, since you spend so much time on your laptop and in cyberspace,
have you read any of
those so-called slash stories, and if so, how do you feel about them?
(Lance coughs.)
L: I've bumped into a few of them, they seemed interesting. They all have
disclaimers and so on,
and they're non-profit stories just meant for fun, so I don't think they
hurt anybody.
D: And Eminem, what did you think of the stories?
M: They were...yeah, interesting. But they all sort of revolved around my
homophobia and all, you
know?
D: So if the stories didn't paint you as such a homophobe then you might
like them a bit better?
M: Yeah, they just didn't know the real me. On the other hand, it felt a bit
weird to read about
myself. I enjoyed reading about Lance much more!
D: So if you could write a slash story, Eminem, who would you slash?
M: Whoa, I'm no writer. I rap, sure, and write my own songs, but that's
about it, sorry.
D: No slash from Eminem, shame. Thank you for taking the time to let me
interview the hottest
couple on the planet!
L: You're welcome, it was our pleasure.

TBC...

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and I often do. Thanks for the wonderful feedback I've received so far!