Date: Thu, 5 Aug 1999 21:53:19 EDT
From: BrwyMilo@aol.com
Subject: "Nick and Justin" part 16

    OK, I know this is so late, but I've been quite sick recently.  And as I
don't have a laptop, I couldn't write in bed.  And as I could bearly sit up,
I couldn't make it to the computer.  Let's just say I don't like being
sick!!!  But anyway, here is part 16.  It's a bit short, but I wanted to get
something out and prepare for the upcoming segments.  So please forgive me!!!!

    Now, as always I would like to thank RJ, who is my partner in crime in
our series "Lost and Found".  Give it a look-see.  Also, much thanks to Ron,
who wrote the song lyrics you are about to read.  Also thank you to everyone
who has e-mailed me letters of support and encouragement.  The e-mail address
is BrwyMilo@aol.com, so drop me a line!  I love mail!  Also, many thanks to
everyone who nominated this story and voted for it for so many awards.  The
results will be up soon, so best of luck to everyone!  :o)

    OK, the legalities.  This story is purely a work of fiction and not meant
to imply anything about the sexuality of anybody involved, especially the
bands.  I am also not implying anything about the lives of the other people
involved.  Leigh Anne, if you're reading this, I'm sure you are a very nice
person!!!!  So please forgive all of us who seem to bash you so badly in
these stories!!!  That said, enjoy the story!

                                    *****

    "OK Lance, where ready here, so you can start as soon as you're ready,"
Mike said from the sound booth.  Lance sat at a piano.  He had lit candles
around the room.  He watched them flicker and dance as he took a deep breath.
 His hands ran over the keys on the piano, not playing them yet, but trying
to get a feel for them.  He sighed heavily and began to play an intro.  It
was slow and sad, almost mournful.  The chords hung lightly in the air as his
lips parted and his voice began to escape.

As I sit here alone
in the soft candle glow
not even seeing
I'm hardly breathing
I think of my greatest fear
not having you here
and I wipe away a single tear
as I realize what I couldn't do
is go on without you

    He played the piano lighter as the chorus began.  He couldn't see that
behind him, in another room, Justin sat watching the scene through a small
window.

And I cry my self crazy
not knowing where I'm gonna go from here
I cry myself crazy
searching for a way to fight this pain
I don't know why
you said goodbye
baby
I cry myself crazy

    Nick slowly walked into the room where Justin sat and wrapped his arms
around him from behind.  He positioned himself so that he was sitting on the
floor behind Justin, with Justin sitting Indian style between his legs.
Justin leaned back against Nick's chest and lay his head down on Nick's
shoulder.

It's four-thirty three
The night is my friend
I never thought I'd make it this far
I guess time can really heal my heart
But every now and then
I want to see you again

    Lance played the piano harder now, as the chorus came back in.  Though
his voice was normally low and at best in full bass, he found a few higher
notes he could belt out.  As he continued playing the song somehow was
escaping him.  It wasn't him playing it anymore.  His fingers were moving of
their own accord and the voice that was coming from him was one he had never
heard before.  He was a passenger in someone else's dream.

And I cry my self crazy
not knowing where I'm gonna go from here
I cry myself crazy
searching for a way to fight this fear
I don't know why
you said goodbye
baby
I cry myself crazy

    The piano got softer, as did Lance's voice.  He tried hard to keep is
eyes dry

I don't cry to myself anymore
I know where I'm going now
the fear I felt is gone
Or so...I tell...myself....
I gotta know why
you had to say goodbye
oh baby
I cry myself
crazy.

    His fingers kept moving as he let a few tears escape from his eyes.
'Just one more chord,' he thought to himself as more tears came.  When he was
done he paused a moment, and then pushed back from the piano.  He glanced up
at the booth and saw Mike giving him two thumbs up.  Lance smiled weakly and
wiped his eyes.  He turned around in his chair and saw Nick and Justin
sitting there.  He looked close at Justin's face for a second and saw what
looked like a tear.  He let out a small cry and then ran out of the sound
booth.

    "He's not getting any better, is he," Nick asked softly into Justin's ear.

    "I want to help him, but I don't know if I can.  I should do something
though."  Justin leaned back and allowed Nick to wrap his arms around his
waist.

    "Make Lance feel better Justin," Nick whispered.  Justin looked up to
face him.

    "What do you mean?"

    "I mean, do what it takes to make him feel better.  He shouldn't have to
be like this.  I mean, I know how I'd feel if I couldn't have you.  It's not
something I would enjoy going through.  So, why don't you go find him and see
if you can do anything."  Nick leaned over and kissed him lightly on the
cheek.  "But no sex," he added with a laugh.  Justin laughed with him and
pushed him down onto the floor.  He lay on top of Nick and brushed a few
strands of hair out of his eyes.

    "You are a wonderful, thoughtful, beautiful man, you know that?"

    "Yea I know," Nick said with a laugh.  Justin punched him lightly on the
arm and smiled widely.

    "OK then. I'm gonna go find Lance and see if I can straighten this out."
He stood up and stretched and watched Nick lying down at the floor.  "You're
really cute form this angle."

    "And at the risk of sounding corny, you my dear are cute from any angle!"
 Justin laughed loudly and walked out of the room looking for Lance.  He
stopped momentarily and laughed as he heard AJ and Britney singing a version
of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart".  He stood by the door and listened
carefully, laughing sporadically.

    "They're pretty funny, aren't they," Lance said as he stepped out of a
shadow.  Justin jumped a bit and then laughed.

    "You scared me there," Justin said as he placed one hand on his chest.
"Actually I was looking for you."  Lance looked up a bit surprised and gave a
big smile.

    "You were?"

    "Yes, I was.  I wanted to tell you that that song was beautiful."  Lance
dropped his head a bit and he nodded slowly as he looked down at the ground.

    "It was just how I was feeling I guess.  But," he looked up again and
stared Justin right in the eye, "you really did like it?"

    "Lance, I loved it."  Justin placed his hand on Lance's shoulder and
looked at him a bit uneasy.  Then, in one quick motioned, he pulled him into
a tight hug.  Lance almost felt his heart stop, but just closed his eyes and
relished the moment.

    "It was for you," he whispered slowly, not wanting to ruin the moment.
Justin merely ran his hand up and down Lance's back.  "Justin, I've wanted
this for so long."

    Justin pulled back and looked Lance in the eye.  "Let's go somewhere and
talk, OK?"  Lance nodded and pulled Justin into a secluded conference room.
There was a long leather couch against one wall that he plopped down on.
Justin sat next to him and smiled warmly.  "I don't think we quite resolved
things that night, did we?"

    Lance thought back to that night and shook his head.  He took several
deep breaths, keeping his tears in check.  "No, you kind of had to leave,
remember?"

    "Lance, Nick isn't here right now and no one is going to interrupt us.
So, let's finish it."

    Lance leaned back a little and searched for some sign on Justin's face.
"I don't know what to say," he said lowly as he looked down.  "I mean, I know
how you feel about Nick."  He glanced up again at Justin who was just staring
at his face.  Justin sat with his legs pulled up in front of him and his chin
resting on his knees.  Lance sighed heavily.  "You look so cute like that."
Justin burst out laughing.

    "Lance, I don't know what to say either.  Everything about this is so
flattering, but none of it is fair to you.  I've been watching you for a
while.  You have to be able to get over this."  Justin scooted closer to
Lance and out his hand on his.  "Lance, you're one of my best friends and I
don't want to lose you."  Lance just sat with his mouth open.  After a minute
he moved his right arm to behind Justin's back and gently pulled him closer.
Justin resisted a bit at first but released himself to Lance.  He moved along
with what Lance wanted.  Lance brought Justin closer to his lips and slowly
closed his eyes.  As their lips met, Lance felt a shot through his body.  He
parted his lips slowly and shook slightly as his tongue entered Justin's
mouth.  He could feel the tears running down his face as he shared his second
kiss with Justin.  The only difference was, Justin wasn't struggling this
time.  Lance ran his tongue all over Justin's mouth and then pulled away a
bit.  Justin was staring directly at him.

    "Friends," was the only thing he said.

    Lance sighed heavily and then smiled.  "Friends."  Justin hugged him
tightly and patted him on the back.  "But why do you have to be so hard to
get over?!"

    "It's the butt," Justin said with a laugh.  Lance gave it a glance and
then laughed.

    "Maybe."  Justin laughed again loudly and put his arm around Lance's
shoulder.

    "Time to go face the world buddy.  And again, that song was unbelievable."

    Lance merely blushed and smiled as they quickly exited the room.

                                *****

    "Hello miss, can I please have Brian Littrell's room number?"

    The receptionist looked up from the computer and looked her carefully up
and down.  "I'm really not allowed to give out that information ma'am.  Can I
help you in any other way?  Perhaps you'd like to leave a message?"

    Leigh Anne sighed loudly and removed her sunglasses.  "I'm his
girlfriend.  He told me where he was staying and he said that I'd be able to
get his room number."

    "I'm sorry, but I can't give out that information."  The receptionist was
getting a little annoyed now and it was obvious in her tone.

    "Well then, can I have a room.  I'll be staying here a few days."

    "We have a suit available-"

    "I'll take it," Leigh Anne said, quickly handing over a credit card.  The
receptionist eyed her and quickly handled the transaction.

    "Have a nice day," she said with a smile.

    "Right," Leigh Anne sneered.  As she walked away, she could here the
receptionist mumble 'bitch' as she went back to her work.  Leigh Anne stopped
in her tracks, clenched her fists and then walked continued towards the
elevator.  She pressed the button and the door opened almost immediately.

    "Hello Ms. Wallace," Robert said cooly.

    Leigh Anne let out a small yelp and jumped back.  "You scared the shit
out of me, you know that," she said as she slapped his arm.

    "You haven't been keeping in touch with me," Robert said quickly as the
elevator doors shut.

    "I'm a very busy person.  I got some time off and I wanted to visit
Brian," Leigh Anne said with a smile.

    "Well now, that is one of the things I wanted to discuss with you,"
Robert said with a smirk.  Leigh Anne quickly jerked her head up and stared
at him.

    "What are you talking about?"

    Robert laughed a little.  "Well, in our interview you said that JC was
gay and it was tearing up the bands, etc etc etc.  Well, after spending a bit
of time with them, I don't see anything upsetting anyone in the groups.  In
fact they all seem very close.  A few of them seem particularly close in
fact."

    Leigh Anne just stared at him.  Then a smile crept over her lips.
"Really?  And who would they be?"

    "Well, Nick and Justin for one happy couple.  And the other, well, JC is
one half of the pair."

    "Yea, OK.  Who's the other?"

    "That would be Brian, you're precious little boyfriend," Robert said,
pouting his lips and putting on a baby voice.  Leigh Anne just turned away
disgusted and watched as the elevator doors opened on her floor.  Robert
followed her out of the elevator quickly.  "Gee, you're awfully quiet."

    Leigh stopped and turned around quickly.  "Robert, you're insane.  Brian
is not gay!  Christ, he's my boyfriend!"

    "I don't think so Leigh Anne.  Let's see now," Robert said as he tapped
his chin with his finger and walked around her.  "Brian tells you he's in
love with JC.  You fly off the deep end and think to yourself, 'How can I get
Brian back?'  You consider just outing him to the world, but then you
realize, even if he does take you back, his career would most likely be
ruined and then where would you be?  So you decide to out his little
boyfriend who will then be so angry about the whole thing, he'll leave Brian.
 And where will you be?  You'll be right at Brian's side to comfort him and
win him back.  Tell me when I'm getting close."

    Leigh Anne felt the anger rise in her.  She slapped Robert squarely
across the face.  He smiled widely.  "Well then, it looks like I was right.
You have no idea what this story will do for my career.  Goodbye small time
tabloid, hello world of investigative journalism."  He turned and walked
again towards the elevator.  "Oh, and Leigh Anne," he began as he turned
around slowly to face her.  "I wouldn't try anything stupid.  I always
investigate my sources, and boy, you have no idea what I found on you."  He
turned back around and walked into the waiting elevator.

    Leigh Anne stood where she was and let a tear slip down her cheek.  She
clenched her fists tightly and cursed herself under her breath.  "There's
only one thing to do."  She walked quickly to her room and slammed the door
behind her.

                            *****

    "So, we need like what, another two nights to lay down all these vocals,"
AJ laughed as he kept his arm around Britney.

    "This is going to be the fastest album in creation I think," Kevin
agreed.  "But some of these songs are great.  It will take a while before
it's released though, between the production and then all the hassle with the
different labels."

    Nick walked with Justin, his hand occasionally brushing against Justin's.
 Justin would look up and then mouth the word 'Stop!'  Nick looked over at
Lance who was just smiling at them.  Nick leaned in close to Justin and
whispered lightly into his ear.  "I don't know what you did, but God, you're
good!"  Justin laughed loudly and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

    "So, what are we up to for the rest of the night," Howie asked with a
yawn.

    "It's bedtime Howie," Kevin said quickly.  "We've got some more practice
tomorrow and then some more recording.  The first concert is coming up really
soon."

    Brian looked up at JC and gave a worried look.  "Are we gonna tell them
about what Robert said?"

    JC thought a minute and then shook his head.  "Not tonight.  We'll tell
them first thing in the morning."  Brian agreed and continued walking towards
the waiting limo.

                                *****

    Leigh Anne sat in the lobby, in a large recliner facing the doors.  She
had wiped all the tears from her eyes, and most of her make-up off as well.
Her hair was pulled back into a pony-tail and she was wearing jeans and a
baggy T-shirt.  She got up from her chair and paced around.  After a while of
pacing she sat down again.

    "Don't mind AJ, Britney, he's always like that," Howie said with a laugh
as they entered the lobby.  Leigh Anne jumped up quickly and ran over to them.

    "Guys," she said a bit loudly as she approached.

    JC took one look and felt the anger coming back into his face.  "What the
hell do you want now?"

    Leigh Anne stopped again and almost fell into tears.  "We all need to
have a very long talk, but I'm not sure if tonight is the best time for it."

    "No, Leigh Anne, right now is the perfect time.  Because the sooner you
tell us whatever sick, psychotic thing you have to tell us, the sooner we
never have to see your face again."  Kevin put his hand on JC's shoulder, but
he quickly jerked it away.

    "Now come on Leigh Anne, what is it now?  Are you pregnant with Brian's
baby?  Oh, perhaps you're scared and you want him to hold you?  Or maybe you
are so totally fucked up, that you came here to beg him to take you back
again.  Am I close with any of those?"

    Leigh Anne felt two streams of tears running down her eyes.  "It's
nothing like that," was all that she could get out.  Britney quickly ran
forward and hugged Leigh Anne tightly.  She threw JC a look and tried to calm
Leigh Anne down.

    "OK, you guys, go to your rooms and get to bed.  Leigh Anne's gonna stay
with me tonight, and we're gonna get everything sorted out.  Then tomorrow,
she is going to tell us everything over breakfast," Britney said
authoritatively.  The guys agreed, or were more forced too agree and headed
up to their rooms.  "Leigh Anne, we're getting you a drink girl."  Leigh Anne
laughed slightly and allowed Britney to lead her towards the hotel bar.

                            *****

    "JC, you need to calm down," Brian said as he put his hand on JC's
shoulder.

    "Brian, I'm sick of that girl," JC replied loudly.  "Everywhere we are,
she is!  She is trying to drive me crazy or something!  I know she is!"

    "JC, just calm down.  Leigh Anne has something to tell us.  I've never
seen her like this before.  Something is definitely wrong."

    JC plopped down on the bed and put his hands under his neck.  "Just
promise me one thing?"

    Brian smiled widely.  "Anything."

    "Promise me that when we get a house, with kids, and a dog and a white
picket fence...just promise she won't be our neighbor?"

    Brian laughed and threw a pillow at him.  "You are too cute."

    JC smiled and pulled Brian down on top of him.  "Let's not waste this big
empty bed," JC said with a grin as he turned off the lamp by the side of the
bed.

                            ****

    Nick walked into the room and quickly into the bathroom, turning the
shower on as hot as he could stand it.  He removed his clothes and yelled out
to Justin that he was taking a shower and would be out soon.  He hopped in
and let the water run all over his body.  He grabbed the soap and began to
lather himself.  His thoughts drifted back to the evening with his father.
The water seemed to grow warmer as he rubbed the soap over himself harder and
harder.  In his state, he didn't even notice that the tears were running down
his cheeks.  His father's face kept rushing into his mind.  His face when he
first told him.  His face as he confronted Justin, finally calling him a
slut.  His face when he stormed out of the restaurant.  Everything was going
in at the spped of light.

    The bathroom door flew open and Justin was suddenly in the bathroom.
Nick jumped at his touch and then turned around to face him.  Justin was
wearing a T-shirt and a pair of jogging shorts, but still hopped into the
shower with Nick.  He held him in his arms and put his head down on his
shoulder.  "It's OK Nick.  Everything's going to be alright."

    "My dad hates me," was all that Nick could get out.

    Justin slid down the wall of the shower with Nick and just held him,
letting him cry it out.  He just...held him.

    After several minutes, the water began to get cold.  They were both
drenched, and both had tear stained faces.  Nick looked up at Justin and
smiled weakly.  "Hey, I made you cry."

    Justin gave a laugh.  "Yea, I guess you did."

    They quickly washed their faces off and got out of the shower.  Justin
looked down at his soaked clothing and laughed.  "This does me no good," he
said with a smile.  He grabbed a towel, and placed it around Nick.  He rubbed
his shoulders lightly and smiled.  "Let me get out of these."  He removed his
shirt and shorts and Nick saw that he wasn't wearing underwear.

    "There's my commando," Nick said with a laugh.  Justin blushed and
grabbed a towel himself.

    "I have an idea.  Let's get a really long sleep.  Just lay in bed all
night long."

    "I think I'd like that a lot," Nick said as he hugged Justin.  They made
their way over to the bed and lay down.  Justin put Nick's head on his chest
and kept his arms wrapped tightly around him.  He hummed lightly and stroked
Nick's hair until finally, all were asleep.

                    *****

        So, what's gonna happen?  Will Leigh Anne spill her guts?  Will
Robert be hacked to bits in some bizarre accident?  Will Nick's dad ever come
around?  Stay tuned, as the saga will continue in just a few short days.
Send all mail to Mike at BrwyMilo@aol.com.  Thanks for reading and have a
great day!