Date: Mon, 31 Jul 2000 22:29:37 EDT
From: BrwyMilo@aol.com
Subject: "Nick and Justin" part 44
Here's part 44 of "Nick and Justin". I really never thought I'd be
writing it for this long, but hey, whatever. =) As long as I'm still having
fun writing it and people still enjoy reading it, I guess it'll keep going.
Disclaimor: This is fiction. Nuff said.
If you've got any questions, comments, suggestions...whatever, send it to
Mike at BrwyMilo@aol.com. Enjoy the chapter.
*****
"Nick and Justin" part 44 A
Devon lept up in bed as the first rays of light shone through the window.
Instantly, his hand flew up to his head, as he rubbed his temples, trying
desperately to ease the pain. With a groan he was on his back, his eyes shut
tightly against the light. He rolled over and dropped his arm down on the
soft mattress, right where Lance should be.
But he wasn't.
Devon opened his eyes and sat up again, ignoring the pain in his head
this time. He felt the matress beside him and thought back to the night
before. Images of Lance crying flashed through his head. "I threw him out,"
he whispered to himself. He cursed himself and picked up the phone, dialing
JC's number quickly.
"Hello," Brian's voice said sleepily.
"Brian, is Lance over there," Devon asked quickly.
"What?"
"Is Lance over there? This is Devon," he yelled into the phone.
"Devon, this is JC," JC said as Brian handed him the phone. "Why would
Lance be over here?"
"JC please, if you know where he is, please tell me. It's an emergency."
"Devon, I haven't heard from him. I guess you should try Justin's house.
You guys ok?"
"I have to go JC," Devon said quickly as he slammed down the phone. He
hopped out of bed, instantly regretting it as the room started to spin. He
fell down on the bed and shut his eyes tight, praying slightly for it to
stop. 'I'm never drinking again,' he thought to himself painfully. As soon
as the room was once again under control, he rolled his head, trying to
regain control of his senses.
That's when he saw it.
The picture sat in a small silver frame. The color was slightly faded
and the paper was slightly wrinkled. The woman in the picture was holding a
small child in her arms. His hair was dark and wild looking, but his eyes
were huge with excitement as his hand waved at the camera. The woman was
beaming at the toddler with a look of pure joy on her face.
Devon took the picture in his hands and ran his fingers gently over the
frame. He smiled in spite of the tears that were now rising in his eyes. "I
love you," he whimpered lightly. His sobs became more and more violent as he
continued to look at the picture. Finally with a yell he slammed the picture
down on the pillow and grabbed the phone, dialing fast.
"Hello," a woman's voice said sweetly.
"Is...um...Lance there," Devon asked slowly.
"Who is this," Lynn asked quietly.
"It's Devon. Please if he's there I really need to talk to him," Devon
pleaded.
Lynn paused for a moment, glancing up towards the stairs. "One moment."
Lynn walked up the stairs quickly, stopping outside of Justin's room and
knocking lightly.
"Justin, wake up," she said, loud enough for them to hear inside. After
a moment, she heard the sound of shuffling feet.
"Morning," Nick said, yawning lightly.
"Um, is Lance in there too," she asked, blushing lightly.
"Oh, yea," Nick said. He looked at her oddly and looked back in.
"Should I wake him up?"
"Devon's on the phone," she said queitly. Nick gave her a surprised look.
"Oh. Um, I'll take care of it," Nick said as he moved to pick up the
extension in the hallway. "Hello?"
"Lance," Devon asked frantically.
"No Devon, it's Nick," he replied calmly. "Lance is here. He's still
sleeping. Had a rough night."
"Nick, I need to talk to him," Devon said.
"Devon, he needs to rest right now," Nick said. "I'll have him call you
as soon as he wakes up."
"Nick, please," Devon pleaded. "I need to talk to him."
"Devon-"
"Goddamn it," he yelled. "Nick, I'm begging you. Please wake him up."
Nick paused and looked back into the room. "Alright," he sighed. "But
please Devon, don't upset him anymore."
"I know," Devon said lowly.
Devon held his breath as he heard Nick speak in hushed tones. He could
hear Justin's sleepy voice in the background, and then the deeper voice of
his boyfriend. Fresh tears sprang to his eyes as he fought to hold them
back.
The phone was picked up again as he heard labored breathing on the other
end. "Lance?"
There was no answer. Only the breathing.
"Lance please," Devon pleaded. "Oh god, I'm sorry." He was sobbing
openly now.
The crying was worse on the other end. Devon held his breath so he could
hear any sound. Lance tried to say something. He stumbled over his
syllables.
"Devon...I..." He broke down. "I can't," he said painfully as the phone
was dropped.
"Lance please," Devon yelled.
"Devon, this is Justin-"
"Justin please put Lance back on the phone," Devon begged. He was lying
in a ball now, sobbing loudly.
"Devon, listen to me," Justin said quietly. "Lance can't talk to you
right now."
"Why," Devon asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
"He came over here last night crying worse than I'd ever seen him before.
We finally calmed him down, but Devon...he can't right now."
Devon held himself as he let the phone fall to the floor. He didn't hear
Justin's voice anymore.
*****
"How can this be happening," Lance asked himself.
"It's gonna be alright," Justin said as he held him, rubbing his hand
slowly up and down his back.
"His mom just died Justin. I should be with him."
"Lance, you have some thinking to do. We all love Devon...but I won't
let you be in a relationship that's going to hurt you."
"This was one time...one time Justin. We never even fight!"
"It only takes one," Justin said looking out absently.
"I'm going over there," Lance said finally.
"Lance, why don't you wait just a little while. Get cleaned up and
everything first. We'll drive you over and we'll stay with you if you want."
Lance looked at him uncertainly. "Fine. But as soon as I'm showered,
we're heading over there."
"That's fine." Nick watched as Lance headed out of the room and towards
the bathroom. As soon as he was gone, he sighed loudly and threw himself
back on the bed. Justin crawled over to him and rested his head on his
chest. "Hey."
Justin didn't answer right away. He merely lay there breathing, his
chest rising and falling slowly. Nick lifted his head slightly, feeling
Justin slide a bit down his torso.
"Are you ok," he asked as he began to rub one hand through Justin's curls.
"Just thinking."
"About what?"
Justin rolled over, snuggling his head into the crook of Nick's neck and
wrapping one of Nick's arms around him. "You'd never...hurt me, would you?"
"What do you mean," Nick asked, trying to sit up, but finding it
impossible from the current position.
"Well, did you see Lance arm? Its really bruised up..."
"Wait, Devon didn't hit him...did he?"
"No, but he grabbed him pretty hard. He probably would have hit
him...so...I don't know. I'm being dumb."
"You are not being dumb," Nick said quickly.
"So...would you," Justin asked nervously.
Nick wrapped his arms tighter around Justin and kissed him gently. "I
don't think I could ever be any rougher with you than I am right now."
Justin smiled and leaned back into the embrace. "And if I ever did, you have
full permission to kill me."
Jutin giggled and rolled to his side. "Nah, I wouldn't kill you. You're
worth more alive."
"Thanks I think," Nick laughed, hugging Justin tighter.
*****
"Why can't we just eat out like normal people," Britney asked as she was
led through the restaurant, towards a secluded corner in the back.
"We can eat up front if you want," AJ said, taking her hand lightly in
his. "Just be prepared to be mobbed."
"This gets really annoying sometimes. It's great that we can get into
these fancy places...but it seems like we're always eating next to the
kitchen because its the most secluded place."
"Maybe the maitre'd just doesn't like our music, ever think of that," AJ
laughed. Britney smiled lightly and thanked the waitor as he pulled out her
chair for her.
"Have you heard anything about your plans after the tour is over,"
Britney asked as she looked over the menu.
"Well, some promotional stuff. Lots of recording. We'll be heading to
Europe for some of it."
"Wow," Britney said. "Apparently I've been booked for another tour
already."
"Are you serious," AJ said, a bit annoyed. "Did they give you any kind
of break?"
"Yea, I have like a week off before I start rehearsals."
"That's bullshit. I'd tell them to forget about it," AJ said.
"You can't tell them to forget about a tour. Besides they had mentioned
it at the start of this tour. I just didn't know they were going ahead with
it as full steam as they are. They already have venues lined up and
everything."
"So, when do I get to see you," AJ asked, a little sadly.
"It's not going to be as packed as this tour is," Britney said with a
smile. "A couple of shows a week tops. I could fly in whenever I have a
couple days to myself."
"That would be cool," AJ said.
Britney smiled nervously and looked at her menu again. She ordered
quietly when the waiter returned and looked down at the table.
"Are you ok?"
"Just thinking," Britney said, a bit nervously.
"Care to do it out loud," AJ asked with a smile.
"Well...remember when I said I...like...wasn't ready?"
"For what," AJ asked, confused.
Britney giggled nervously. "Ready for..." She motioned dramatically
with her hands.
"Oh! Yea, I remember..."
"Well, I think I might be now," Britney said.
"Wait, are you saying you want to..." AJ gestured in the same manner.
"Yea," Britney said, blushing bright red.
AJ was silent for a minute. Did he just hear right? "Are you sure," he
asked quietly.
"Positive," Britney said. "I want my first time to be with someone I
love. And I love you." She smiled down at the table and took a sip of her
water.
"When do you want to..."
"Well, let's just let things happen. I don't want to set a date for our
first time. It would feel like a doctor's appointment."
AJ laughed loudly. "Got you. So...we'll just let it happen?"
"Exactly," Britney said, a bit more confidently. "Wow...I'm gonna have
sex," she said quietly. She looked up quickly and laughed. "That wasn't
supposed to be outloud."
"Well I won't tell anyone," AJ said as he leaned in and kissed her.
*****
Someone was knocking at the door. Loudly. It seemed like it was miles
away, even though it was only in the next room. It seemed to get louder with
each bang. A door miles away.
Devon sat up slowly from the floor, holding his head to do so in hopes of
alleviating the pain. It didn't work. The knocking continued. "I'm
coming," Devon said, as if in agony. He stood slowly and walked to the door.
He turned the knob so that it opened before turning around and stumbling
back towards the couch.
"Mind if I come in," Nick asked sarcastically. Devon waved his arm
weakly from the living room. Nick sighed and shut the door behind him. He
walked cautiously to where Devon was and sat down across from him.
"I was kind of hoping you would be Lance," Devon said, not looking up.
"He'll be here," Nick said. He watched as Devon's head snapped up
towards him. "But I needed to have a talk with you first."
"You mean, he still...he isn't leaving me?"
Nick sighed and shook his head. "No Devon, he isn't leaving you." For
the first time, Nick looked at Devon carefully. His eyes were puffy and tear
stained, and his hair was standing at all angles. His clothes were wrinkled
and half off. "You didn't get much sleep did you?"
"Just enough to sober me up," he said, shaking his head. "I don't plan
on drinking ever again."
"That might be a good idea," Nick replied. "I don't want to sound like a
policeman, or some sort of parent or anything, but I did need to talk to you."
"I'm listening," Devon said, looking carefully at Nick, giving him his
full attention.
"I try not to get involved when my friends fight. I just hope that
they'll be able to work it out. But, when Lance came to Justin's house last
night, he was scared. You're not a very friendly drunk."
"I guess not," Devon said.
"I just need to make sure you're not going to hurt him. He's a lot more
sensitive than we think sometimes."
"Nick, I don't remember everything that I said last night, but I would
never hurt him."
"He told us about your mother," Nick said quietly. "I"m really sorry
Devon."
"There's gonna be a service tomorrow," he replied quietly.
"Well, we'll all be there," Nick said. "I'll make sure the other guys
know."
"Thank you," Devon said. He watched as Nick started to stand. "I do
love him," he called after him.
"He knows that," Nick said smiling. "And I do too. But if you hurt him
again, Justin may kill you." He walked out of the door, closing it tight
behind him.
'Normalcy,' he thought to himself as he walked down the hall. 'Is that
really too much to ask? If we're not getting drama from fans or reporters,
we're getting it from each other.' He walked over to the elevator, sighing
as the door opened.
"Hi Lance," he said quietly.
"How'd it go," Lance asked nervously.
"Go make up with him already," Nick said with a grin as he pulled Lance
into a hug. "He loves you."
"I know he does," Lance said with a smile, squeezing Nick tighter.
"You got your own, let go of mine," Justin said from behind them. Nick
slowly let go of Lance and grinned.
"Aw, a little jealous?"
"Nah, I know I got you whipped," Justin said with a smirk.
"Excuse me?" Nick laughed back.
"I do," Justin said as he began to jiggle his keys in his hand.
"You do not," Nick replied.
"Alright, alright," Justin said. His keys fell from his hands as he
began to walk towards Nick, Nick catching them before they touched the floor.
"See?"
"Shut up," Nick laughed, pulling Justin into a headlock.
"We'll I'd love to stay and watch, but I get to go make up," Lance said
with a smirk.
"And making up is the whole point of fighting," Justin said with a grin,
pecking Nick lightly on the cheek.
"Lance, I'm going to let the guys know about the service for Devon's
mother tomorrow. We'll all be there."
"Thanks. I don't think he's going to be up to it," Lance replied. "I'll
give you guys a call later." Lance walked slowly towards the apartment,
placing a tentative hand on the doorknob. One deep breath and he turned it,
entering cautiously.
"Nick, I really don't think-" Devon looked up and saw Lance entering the
room.
"It's not Nick," Lance said, smiling shyly.
"Nick and Justin" part 44 B
Devon looked at him for a moment. He watched as Lance started to blush
and fidget slightly. In the next instant he was on his feet, his arms
wrapped tightly around Lance. "I'm so sorry," he said over and over as he
cried, shaking lightly in Lance's arms.
"It's ok Devon...it's alright..." Lance repeated over and over again.
"No, it's not alright. I don't know what came over me Lance. I was just
so scared." He held onto Lance tighter as he cried. Lance simply ran his
hand slowly up and down his back, letting him cry on his shoulder.
"I understand. Ok? I understand. Please stop crying." He led Devon
over to the couch and sat down, pulling Devon down on top of him. After a
few minutes, Devon pulled himself together and wiped his eyes. "Do you feel
better?"
"I guess," Devon said, smiling lightly. "I guess I should've done that
yesterday instead of running away."
"We all handle things differently. If you needed to time get away, then
that's understandable, ok?"
"Yea, but where I ran too wasn't a good idea," Devon said.
"Well, I'm no prohibitionist myself, but yea, running to the bar probably
wasn't the best idea." He hugged Devon tighter and gently stroked his hair.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"You have no idea how scared I was this morning. And then when Nick came
over, I thought he was coming to get your stuff or something."
"Devon, we had a fight. It's gonna happen. But making up is fun too."
He kissed Devon lightly on the forehead and smiled. "We'll be ok." He
paused and looked at Devon carefully. "Nick told me about the service for
your mother tomorrow."
"He said he's gonna let the rest of the guys know," Devon replied weakly.
"I can't believe she's gone."
"It's a hard thing to come to terms with. I don't know what I'd do
if..." Lance looked down and saw Devon crying lightly on his shoulder.
"We're all here for you Devon. No matter what. All of us are here for you."
He kissed Devon on the cheek and ran his thumb underneath his eyes, wiping
away the tears. "Let's make it an early night. It's gonna be a rough day
tomorrow."
"You'll stay with me," Devon asked, a little nervous.
"Devon, I'm not going anywhere." He hugged Devon tighter for a second
before pulling him to his feet. "Now let's get to bed."
*****
Justin had never seen so many flowers in one place. It seemed there were
sprays of each type somewhere in the room. The lights resembled candles,
even though the glow eminated from flurescent light bulbs merely shaped like
the flame from a wick. Gentle music drifted lightly in the air. Not somber,
as he had expected...but light. He glanced around the room, recognizing the
faces of his friends, and a few family members.
He glanced towards the coffin.
It was so smooth looking. It caught the light. It shimmered almost to
brightly. Especially when one considered its fate. Six feet and hundreds of
pounds of dirt thrown on top of it. To gradually decay. It caught the light
now. It sparkled. Irony.
"You doing ok," Nick asked as he gave Justin's shoulder a little squeeze.
"I don't know," Justin replied doubtedly. "This all feels wrong. I
don't know."
"I hate these things," Nick said, shuddering slightly. "It always seems
like a party...with a really big center piece."
"That's not funny," Justin said, grinning in spite of himself.
"That's what my mom used to tell me. It helped me get through it when I
was younger, and a great aunt or uncle would die. She would just tell me
it's like a family reunion."
"Except we're older now, and we know what it really is," Justin said
sadly.
"The trials of getting older," Nick replied, rubbing his fingers along
the fabric of Justin's shirt.
"Let's see how Devon is," Justin said, taking Nick's hand and pulling him
towards where Devon sat. He faced the coffin somberly, ignoring everyone
around him, save for Lance. He allowed Lance to keep one hand on his knee
and would occassonally place his hand on top and give it a gentle squeeze.
Nick and Justin kept their distance from the pair, not wanting to interrupt
any moment of their being together, especially considering the recent events
of their lives. Finally Justin took a step forward and kneeled down so that
he was almost eye level with Devon.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Don't apologize," Devon said. "It isn't anyone's fault but William's."
"William," Justin asked, looking up quickly.
"His father," Lance replied quietly.
Nick nodded and sat down on the chair to the left of Devon, pulling
Justin up and sitting him next to him.
"It was nice of the guys to come. They didn't have to," Devon said.
"Of course they were going to come," Lance said. "We're a family Devon.
We don't abandon each other."
"Good to know," Devon said weakly. He glanced around, looking for
someone. He spotted several familar faces, none belonging the the person he
was looking for.
"I don't think he'd show up here," Lance said quietly.
"I'm not so sure," Devon said suspiciously.
"Well, we're gonna mingle I guess," Nick said, nudging Justin lightly.
"Again, we're very sorry Devon."
Justin gave Devon's shoulder a light squeeze as he stood. He looked back
at Nick and saw he was heading towards Kevin, JC and Brian. With a sigh he
approached.
"I hate these things," JC said with a shudder.
"It's something Kevin and I have had to get used to over the years,"
Brian said sadly. "It doesn't get any easier to deal with. Especially when
one of your friends loses someone."
"I don't know what I'd do if I lost my mom," Nick said.
"Let's not think about that," Justin said. He turned his head to look
back towards Devon and noticed Lance heading towards them.
"He wanted to be alone for a little while," Lance said. "He thinks his
dad killed her."
"What, like murdered her," Kevin asked, shocked for a moment.
"His dad's a pretty big asshole. He would fight with his mom a lot."
Lance stopped for a second and glanced back towards Devon. "The neighbors
heard some yelling right before the ambulance was called."
"Oh shit," JC said quietly.
"His dad didn't show up here, did he," Brian asked, looking around.
"He hasn't yet. I'm almost afraid of what Devon will do if he does
though."
"Devon's pretty level headed. I don't think he'd do anything stupid,"
Kevin said. "I hope."
"I don't know," Lance said. He looked back and saw Devon sobbing
lightly. "I wish I could do something."
"Go back to him," Nick said. "He just needs to get everything out."
Lance nodded and headed back.
*****
Thirty minutes later, William made his way slowly down to the front of
the hall, ignoring everyone around him. He made his way carefully towards
the place where his wife lay, as if she were sleeping. He kept his gaze
straight ahead.
"Oh my god," Devon whispered.
Lance head snapped around. He saw the man he had met not so long ago.
He gripped one hand on Devon's shoulder, feeling it tense under his grasp.
William approached the coffin and looked down at his wife, smiling
lightly. The room was almost silent. Everyone had heard the rumors about
him. He didn't care.
Devon started to rise, but Lance held him firmly in place. Nick and
Justin both approached, leaving JC, Brian and Kevin wondering what was going
on.
"Is that," Justin asked, his voice fading out at the end.
"That's him," Devon replied for Lance. "I can't beleive he'd show up
here."
Fatima approached quickly and knelt down beside Devon. She took him by
both shoulders and looked directly into his eyes.
"Maybe we should go. All of us," she said quietly to Devon. "You can't
do anything here. This is only going to be torture for you."
"I'm not leaving her alone with him again," Devon said spitefully. "I
did that too much already. I won't do it now."
"I don't know what you think you're going to accomplish," Fatima said.
"I'm not going to do anything Fatima," Devon said. "I'm just going to
sit here."
"Fine," she said uncertainly. "Will you call me when you get home? I
don't want to worry about you all night."
"I'll call you as soon as I get in," Devon said, kissing her lightly.
"I'll be waiting," Fatima said. She said her good byes to everyone she
knew before exiting. Chris, Joey and Howie left with her.
Devon kept his eyes on his father as he remained by the coffin. "How
could he come here," Devon asked quietly.
"I don't have any answers," Lance said.
"If you killed your wife, wouldn't you want to make an appearance at the
wake? Just to try to ward off suspicion," Nick asked Justin.
"I don't know. I don't ever plan on killing you," Justin replied quietly.
"Hello Devon," William said, still facing the coffin.
Devon tensed again, shaking slightly. He started to stand, Lance holding
him cautiously. But as soon as he was on his feet, he shrugged away Lance's
help. He looked at him without emotion and nodded.
"Hello William," Devon said.
"What, you're not even going to call me dad?"
"The only parent that I ever had is lying right there," Devon said.
"That's pretty harsh," William said. "I wasn't so terrible, was I?"
"You were a monster," Devon replied flatly. "To her and to me. You
tried to kill me. Maybe not physically, but you tried to break me. I wasn't
going to let you though. She saved me."
"She wasn't a savior Devon," William said harshly. "She wasn't anything.
She was trash when I met her. If anything, I saved her."
"You killed her," Devon said, looking at his father in the eye, his voice
raising slightly. Justin breathed in hard as the whispers began to fly
around the room.
"I did no such thing," William said through his teeth. "Your mother
fell."
"After you pushed her," Devon said a bit louder. He didn't notice as a
few people began to exit the parlor.
"You're an idiot. You always were. And look what you're hanging out
with now. More fags,' William yelled, looking towards Nick and Justin. Nick
went to approach him, only being stopped by Justin's arm. "I tried to help
you. That's why I was so hard on you. I didn't want you to grow up like
that. Your mother never card, but I did."
"You can't change how I am," Devon yelled. "You can't change how anybody
is."
"I guess I figured that out a bit too late," William said. "I couldn't
stand the site of you after you were fourteen," he said spitefully.
"That's funny. That's around the time you started making me sick," Devon
said. He noticed his father's jaw tighten and his fingers ball into a fist.
"Soar spot?"
William's hand made fast contact with Devon's cheek. "Don't you ever
talk to me like that again." Devon heard the gasp from the people who
remained in the room.
"And I told you once before what I'd do if you ever laid a hand on me, or
her again," Devon said through his teeth. "Now, if you try that one more
time, I'm going to do exactly what I promised you."
"You're an idiot," William replied. "Just like she was." William
started to laugh as he looked down at his wife. "Do you know what our last
fight was about," he whispered, just loud enough for Devon to hear. "She was
going to leave. After all those years, she said she had to. That she wanted
to be strong and that she wouldn't put up with me anymore. Can you believe
that?"
"She finally listened to me," Devon whispered.
"You killed her," William said spitefully.
Devon's head snapped in his father's direction. "What the hell are you
talking about?"
"You convinced her she should leave. You caused that last fight."
William looked at Devon smuggly as Devon's eyes began to tear.
"You did, didn't you?"
"Accidents happen," William said with a shrug. "Sometimes." He looked
at his son once more before laughing. "Pathetic." He turned his back and
started to walk away.
Devon grabbed him by the shoulder and swung him back around. "I told you
what I'd do if you hurt her," he whispered as his hand balled into a fist.
William started laughing.
"What, you gonna hit me," he said, laughing loudly.
"No, I'm going to kill you," Devon said, punching his father squarely on
the side of his face. Blood began to drip from William's nose.
"You son of a bitch," William whispered.
"Only if you're the bitch," Devon replied harshly, punching him in the
eye. He ducked as William took a swing at him and landed another hit in his
father's stomach.
"Devon stop it," Lance yelled as Justin went running over. He placed one
hand on Devon's shoulder and tried to pull him off. William took another
swing, this time punching Justin square in the side of the head. Justin fell
back, a bit disoriented as Nick ran over to him.
"That's it," Devon said, punching his father again in the face. "I'm
sick of you hurting everyone around me. I'm not going to take it anymore."
"Stop," Justin yelled. Nick went over to Devon cautiously and tried to
break it up, avoiding wild swings from William as he went.
"Nick, stay back," Kevin ordered. JC and Brian sat near the door,
shaking their heads slowly. Nick looked at Kevin for a moment before
stepping away. He watched as William landed a punch on Devon's shoulder and
Devon yelled out, retaliating and hitting William in the stomach. Both men
were on the floor now.
"Someone stop them," Justin said quietly, looking between Lance, Nick and
Kevin. Violence wasn't something he could handle seeing right now. Not
after everything.
"You're a loser, just like she was," William yelled.
"You're nothing but an old piece of trash. You were afraid of losing her
just like you lose everything. You couldn't deal with the fact that you were
the weak one. That's why you bullied everyone around you."
"You and your friends are going straight to hell." The room had now all
but emptied. The manager of the funeral parlor had made an appearance at the
door, Kevin urging him not to call the police, and that they'd take
responsibility for any damage.
"Don't you fucking talk about my friends," Devon yelled.
"Stop," Justin yelled again. He sat down against the wall with his hands
pressed against his ears. He flashed back to Robert attacking him. He
shuddered slightly, his eyes not seeing anything anymore.
"Devon, please just stop," Lance said. He saw William bloody, being held
up by his shirt as Devon. Devon looked over at Lance and then his father.
The past is now another land
Far beyond my reach
Invaded by insidious
Foreign bodies, foreign speech
Where timeless joys of childhood
Lie broken on the beach
Everyone watched Justin as he sat in one corner of the room, singing
lightly as if only to himself. He didn't see anyone, didn't hear anyone. He
only...felt. It was as if the walls he had happily set up for himself were
slowly being taken apart piece by piece. And he didn't like it. It wasn't
fair, or right. Life was supposed to be easy. No one should have to live
through what he had to. He sung quietly. Nick approached slowly, almost in
disbelief.
The present is an empty space
Between the good and bad
A moment leading nowhere
Too pointless to be sad
But time enough to lay to waste
Every certainty I had
He shrugged off Nick's hand and looked at him with too much pain in his
eyes. He merely sang his song quietly, not even noticing the tears now
falling from his eyes. He didn't see his friends approach, nor did he see
the shocked expression on the faces of the other people around him. They had
no idea what he was doing. He didn't know what he was doing. But it was the
only thing he knew how to do.
The future is a barren world
>From which I can't return
Both heartless and material
Its wretched spoils not my concern
Shining like an evil sun
As my childhood treasures burn
Shining like an evil sun
As my childhood treasures burn
It was slow. The words came out almost pained, Justin sinking further
and further into hysterics. Too much had happened, and it was too much for
him.
"Justin," Nick asked quietly. He looked at his fiance in the eyes,
trying to see what was going on in his head. He placed a hand tentatively on
Justin's shoulder, expecting to be shrugged off again. But Justin made no
move. He merely stood there and cried, staring at Nick, hoping he could fix
everything, even though he knew he couldn't. "Do you want to go?"
Justin nodded weakly, struggling to keep control over his body. He
willed his legs to move him towards the door, shaking as he walked and
leaning against Nick for support. Nick stared back at Lance and shook his
head. They couldn't understand. After years of singing together,
practically living together, most of his friends barely knew him. "Justin's
strong. He can handle whatever comes his way. Justin is hard to phase."
They didn't know him at all. They didn't see the scared child he was
sometimes. They didn't hear the nightmares that racked his sleep and haunted
him. He never told them. They wouldn't understand. They couldn't fix it.
What good would it do?
Lance looked back towards Devon and placed one hand on his shoulder.
"This is over," he whispered. He watched Devon nodd slowly, tears escaping
freely. He let his grip on his father loosen until his arm hung limply on
his side.
"I want to leave now," he said quietly. Lance nodded and began to move
towards the door. But Devon was not following. Instead he moved slowly
towards his mother and knelt down beside her coffin.
"I tried," he whispered. "I really did try. I just don't think I'm
strong enough." He stood up shakily and looked at her. She was peaceful.
Her face free of all lines or sings of age that may have been present during
her life. He smiled lightly and bent down, kissing her cheek as he had done
so many times during his life. One last time. "I love you," he whispered.
He looked towards his father, making his way up from the floor. "You're not
going to hurt her anymore."
And he walked away.
*****
Well, there's part 44. I hope it was worth the wait. So, if you got
anything to say, email me at BrwyMilo@aol.com. I'm gonna try to get the next
part out sooner.
The lyrics to the song are from Aida, a musical on Broadway right now.
Great cast recording. Pick it up if you get a chance.
Awards are coming up, so everyone vote for your favorite story, whatever
it is.