Date: Sun, 15 Jul 2001 12:39:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Lulupower <lulupowerstories@yahoo.com>
Subject: NSA 35

No strings attached, written by Lulupower

Legal disclaimer: This story is purely fictionnal and it doesn't mean to
imply anything about the sexuality of any of the celebrities mentionned in
it. Also, if you're not 18 or if you're offended by homosexual topics,
please leave now. Yada, yada, yada.

Author's note: Hellllllo everyone! Yep, this is it, the last chapter of
NSA. Everyone, get the kleenexes! ;) I wish Neal was still here to share
this with us...

Anyways. I really don't think I'll be gone for long, I'll probably come
back with other stories later on. You can check out "You're beautiful,
Jayce", it's a short story that I wrote a little while ago, and "Brian and
Joshua", but I warn you, that one sucks big time ;)

Special thanks to Soli K., for being such a loyal fan. :) (Can't let the
world know about your name! lol), and to Ralza, James, Gabriella, Rae, Jay,
Raymond, Liliana, Tom and Brenda, for e-mailing me on almost every chapter
and for your wonderful words of praises ;) Thanks guys!

But most of all, thanks to Eve, for believing in me. I wuv ya ;)

Go read these, now that you won't have NSA anymore (unless you like to read
it over...):

- My surprise romance, by Gabriella Morrisson (she updated!!!! YAY!!!
*dancing around*)
- Brian and me, by DLS (The serie's over, but read it again, it's worth it!)
- French kiss me, by Fallen Angel (gooooooood story!!)
- Lance in Shining armour, by ScottyT (it's an old one, but it's goooooood!)
- In synchronicity, by Will (Anyone heard of Will? Is he dead?)
- Brian and Justin, by JM
- Lance's search, by BJ
- Justin's journal, by Jamie
- Crossed lines, by Fly Guy
- Not until you love me, by Penelope
- ...

Remember: all good things come to an end! ;)
By the way, I shamelessly used a line from the movie "Cast away". Sue me. ;)

                 **********CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**********


"Justin? It's Lance. It's over." Lance said, sobbing.

"Joey? It's Lance. It's over." Lance said, tears falling from his eyes.

"Chris? It's Lance. It's...JC's dead." Lance said, cringing at the words.

"Karen? It's Lance...Listen, something happened to Josh. He...He died this
morning." Lance said holding back his tears.

"Mom? It's James. I...JC...He's gone, mom. He's dead." Lance said, his eyes
getting moist again.

"Johnny? It's Lance. JC's dead. He died this morning." Lance said in a
buisness-like tone.

Lance finished his phone calls and leaned back in his chair. He took a deep
breath, then he threw the cell phone on the wall, causing it to crash
loudly on the waiting room floor. Lance closed his eyes and wrapped his
arms around his legs, sobbing. He cried for a long time, silently, then he
felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. He looked up and saw Justin. He got
up and wrapped his arms around his younger bandmate. Both men sobbed
loudly, until a third man joined them. It was Joey. Then Chris came, crying
as much as everyone else. The four guys held onto each other for dear life,
as if they wanted to prevent each others from dying, too.

Two days later, it was the funeral. Lance's mom had agreed to make all the
arrangements for the funeral. So Lance found himself sitting in a church,
in the front row, his mom on one side, and Justin, Chris and Joey on the
other. JC was laying in a coffin at the front, while a priest talked. Lance
didn't hear him. All he could think about was how hot JC must be. The heat
was unbearable, and JC had a suit, a shirt, a tie and pants on. 'He must be
so hot...' Lance kept telling himself. Then, another voice in his head
seemed to stick it's tongue at the first, before saying 'He's dead, you
dumbass. He can't be hot.' After a few minutes of that endless battle,
Lance heard the priest say "And now, his boyfriend James Lance Bass would
like to say a few words." so he got up and walked to the altar, in front of
the mike, and cleared his throat. "Joshua was not just the man in my
bed. He was the man in my life, the man in my heart. He was my best friend,
my partner in crime, my bandmate, my lover, my husband, my soulmate. We all
loved him dearly, and it's an understatement to say that he will be missed.

Some may say that homosexuals don't go to heaven, but I'm a hundred percent
sure that Josh is the exception to the rule. He was the most amazing person
on Earth. He was intelligent, caring, loving, funny, sweet...he was just
plain *great*. He was so close to his music, too! He had the most beautiful
voice I've ever heard, and he was an amazing composer. I hope everything's
fine for him, now. He had to go through so much during the past month and a
half, and yet he never lost his smile, he never lost the will to go on,
even if he knew it'd all end soon.

I sincerely hope you're okay, Jayce. I hope you're happy, wherever you
are. Wait for me, sweetie, please, I'll be up there too in a few
years. I'll always love you, remember that. You'll always be the one in my
heart. Thank you." Lance walked slowly to the door of the chapel, tears
streaming down his face. He heard Justin follow him and call his name
softly, but he went on walking. He couldn't talk to anyone. He didn't want
to, either. He just wanted to go home and cry.

"Just, I'm going home. Alone. Say goodbye to everyone for me." Lance said,
choking on his words. "Lance, you're not going to...um..." Justin
hesitated. "Kill myself? No. But thanks for the concern." Lance said,
managing a small smile, looking at Justin for the first time. Justin
wrapped his arms around Lance's waist and hugged him tightly. "I know how
much it hurts. But keep on breathing, Lance, and tomorrow morning, the sun
will rise, and who knows what the waves will bring..." Justin said
softly. "Thanks Just." Lance said, letting go of Justin.

He slowly walked to his appartment. An hour and a half later, he reached
the door and unlocked it. He took a step inside and took a deep breath. The
air smelled like JC. Lance felt the tears come to his eyes again, so he
went to his bedroom and laid down on his bed. Their bed. He took JC's
pillow in his arms and buried his face in it. Fresh tears fell from his
eyes and onto JC's pillow. Lance sobbed for a long time, then he reached
for the drawer for a kleenex. He opened it, and his hand didn't find a
tissue, it found a piece of paper. Lance sat down and grabbed the paper. It
was an envelope. On it, Lance's name was written in the nead handwriting
that was JC's. Lance opened it slowly. It was a letter. From JC. Lance felt
his eyes well up with tears again, but held them in.

"James, baby, the love of my life...

As you read this, I'm probably gone. Right now, you're sleeping. It's good
that you are sleeping, because I know how tired you are. All because of
me. You don't know how sorry I am that you have to go throuugh all this
shit because of me.

Tomorrow is our wedding day. Can you imagine? I'm gonna be Mr. James Lance
Bass. I'm gonna be your husband! I can't wait. Even if I know that the only
thing it will change is the ring on both our fingers. And even if I know
that we won't be together for a long time after that.

I'm dying, James. I can feel it. I'm trying to hold it until we're married,
but I know that one morning, I won't wake up. And it will be sooner than
expected. I'm so scared, baby, you can't imagine how scared I am. And I
know you're scared for me too, cause that's just how you are, always
worrying. Don't worry about me, James. I'll be fine. No matter how scared I
am, I know I'll be fine.

And you'll be fine too. I know it's gonna be hard for you when I'm
gone. Hell, it'll be hard for me too. I miss you already. But we'll be
fine, and one day, we'll be together again. Our love is way too strong to
end after just a little while like that. But until then, I want you to go
on. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life alone, thinking about
me and how life could have been if I had lived. I want you to find someone,
and live a happy life. Why don't you try Justin? Who knows, maybe you two
will hit it off now that I'm gone! :)

I love you James. More than you'll ever know. And I'll always watch over
you from wherever I'll be. Trust me.

Come stop your crying
It'll be alright
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here, don't you cry

For one so small, you seem so strong
My arm will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry

You'll be in my heart
Yes you'll be in my heart
>From this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always

Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust what they can't explain
I know we're different but deep inside us
We're not that different at all

You'll be in my heart
Yes you'll be in my heart
>From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
Cause what do they know
We need each other
To have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know
When destiny calls you
We must be strong
I may not be with you
But you got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

Cause you'll be in my heart
Believe me, you'll be in my heart
I'll be there, from this day on
Now and forever more
You'll be in my heart
You'll be here in my heart
No matter what they say
I'll be with you
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart
Always

Always
I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there
Always


I love you,
Joshua Scott Chasez
xxxxxxxxxx and tons more "

Lance wiped his tears and took a deep breath. Finally, maybe there was a
light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe he'd be able to go on.

                    **********The End**********

E-mail me with comments, guys! The song I used is "You'll be in my heart",
by Phil Collins. It's on the Tarzan soundtrack.