Date: Sun, 31 Oct 1999 17:54:44 EST
From: lictor (at) aol (dot) com
Subject: NSYNC-lance-n-jc part 15

'N SYNC: LANCE 'N' JC
CHAPTER 15
----------

Usual disclaimer applies: This is a work of fiction. It is not meant to
imply anything about the orientation, beliefs or anything else about the
real members of 'N Sync (but we can dream), the Backstreet Boys, or anyone
else . If you are under 18, or are offended by graphic depictions of
homosexual relationships, please go back now.

Story content copyright 1999 T. Kevin.

----

	The plane carrying the members of 'N Sync made its descent into
Orlando at just after six in the morning; the sky outside their little
windows was still dark. Despite having gotten some sleep, all the guys felt
grubby and not very well rested. JC smacked his lips in distaste. "Mmm, I
feel like I haven't brushed my teeth in a week!"
	"Thanks for sharing." Justin curled his lip. He'd just hung up the
airphone after letting his mother know that they had arrived. He didn't
tell her that Terry wasn't with them; that was one embarrassment he'd deal
with when he absolutely had to.
	Lance shifted under his blanket. "Are we there yet?" He asked,
keeping his eyes closed.
	JC smiled over at him. "We're descending now, Scoop. Seatbelt
fastened?" He asked, his hand slithering over onto Lance's lap.
	"Yes, thanks." The blond managed a knowing smile, his hand clamping
down on JC's before it could get to his crotch again.
	"Just concerned for your safety, pumpkin." JC made an exaggerated
grin.
	"Love you too, cupcake." Lance returned the fake smile.
	"Love you more, sweetums." JC's voice practically dripped sugar.
	Both were shocked out of their little game when their seats were
kicked from behind and Joey's voice wafted forward. "Don't make me come up
there, you two!"
	"Where's my barf bag!" Chris added. A burst of giggles followed.
	'At least Chris seems a little more relaxed.' JC thought. Joey had
been talking to him; unfortunately it was also certain that Chris was a
little relieved that Terry was apparently out of the picture. He would have
his best friend Justin back.

	Staff from TransCon were waiting for them at the gate and they were
quickly escorted to a waiting limo, which took them all -- dozing as they
went -- to Justin's house.
	Lynn Harliss greeted them sleepily at the door, giving her son a
big hug. "Justin!  I've missed you so much!"
	"Missed you too, mom!" He grinned, returning her embrace.
	She greeted them each in turn enthusiastically as they dragged in
the door with their luggage. They all returned her hugs, though obviously
they would just as soon be sleeping. After everyone was inside, she looked
quizzically to her son.
	"Terry isn't coming mom. We kinda had a falling out."
	"I'm sorry, son. Do you want to come in the kitchen and you can
tell me about it?"
	At that he smiled a little. "Okay."
	The others started wandering off, and Lynn called out. "I'm
supposed to have you at the studio at eleven, so you have a few hours to
nap. Joey, I made up the front guest room for you; Lance, you can use the
downstairs guest room, or wherever you are comfortable." She smiled with a
glance at JC.
	Lance blushed a little. "I appreciate the hospitality, Lynn." Then
he proceeded to follow JC upstairs.
	Justin headed for the kitchen, got out a big bowl and a box of
Captain Crunch. He dumped out a healthy portion and got out the milk while
his mother poured herself a cup of coffee. They sat down together just as
the sun was coming up.
	"So tell me what happened, honey."

----

	Upstairs, JC and Lance shuffled into JC's room. "I feel a little
awkward staying here." Lance said, setting his suitcase down.
	The taller boy furrowed his dark brows. "Awkward how? You've slept
over at Justin's before."
	"I don't think I'd feel comfortable, you know, messing around..."
He closed the blinds then looked down shyly.
	Josh sauntered over to the blond and hooked his thumbs into the
side belt loops of Lance's jeans. "Messing around?" He smirked. "You mean,
like this?" He pulled their hips together.
	"Uhhh... I guess." Lance couldn't keep from smiling as JC pulled
him closer, then began kissing his neck. He wrapped his arms around his
lean lover.
	"Hmmm, you know what?" JC whispered huskily into Lance's ear, as he
slid his hands up Lance's back
	"What?"
	"You need a shower." Then JC started giggling, his body shaking as
he held Lance.
	"Let's take one then." Lance answered, trying to keep from laughing
himself. They were both punch-drunk from lack of sleep. Finally Lance
managed to get them into the bathroom and start the water, despite JC
playfully clinging to him the entire time. "It's a good thing the bathroom
is off the bedroom so we don't have to go traipsing down the hallway." He
observed while JC began unbuttoning his shirt for him.
	"Yeah, it's cool, though we share it with Chris, so we have to be a
little careful." He nodded to the other door at the far end of the
room. "No hollering okay?"
	They managed to shower together with a minimum of fooling around,
then brushed their teeth side-by side while wrapped in their towels. Lance
caught JC staring at him in the mirror. "What?" He demanded.
	"You're so cute with your mouth full of toothpaste, that's all." JC
grinned at him.
	Lance rolled his eyes and spat. "How cute was that?"
	"Sorry, still cute." JC moved behind him and put his chin on
Lance's shoulder while wrapping his arms around the blond's waist. "You're
just plain cute, James, you can't help it."
	"And you're sickening!"
	Josh stuck out his lower lip. "That's how you respond to my
compliments! But that's okay, James, I know it's just your natural modesty
coming out, like now --" He suddenly grabbed Lance's towel, yanked it off
and ran out of the bathroom. Lance reflexively tried to cover himself,
before realizing it was pointless and kind of silly to even bother. He
walked into the bedroom, trying very hard to act casual as he turned away
from JC and bent over his suitcase to find some boxer-briefs.
	JC, lying on the bed, wolf-whistled. "Nice ass, Lance Bass!"
	"See if you get any if you keep that up." Lance felt himself
blushing at his own racy comment while he quickly pulled on his
underwear. Then he turned back and glared at JC -- or meant to. But Josh
had crept up behind him, and as Lance turned around, he pulled him into a
tender kiss. Caught off-guard, Lance gave in to it, his own arms wrapping
around JC's bare shoulders.
	After what Lance felt was all-too-brief a time, JC gently pulled
him back. "We should try to get some sleep." He said reluctantly.
	Lance nodded and crawled into bed while Josh found some boxers from
his own suitcase. A moment later he hopped in.
	"'Night, Scoop." JC kissed Lance on the forehead.
	"It's seven in the morning."
	"Morning, Scoop!" JC smiled and kissed him again, this time on the
lips, before rolling over to face the other way. Lance snuggled up behind
JC and put his arm around him. He couldn't resist lightly caressing JC's
defined pecs just a few times, his fingertip tracing around the little
nipples. The gave his lover one last little hug and settled in.
	"'Night, Josh." He whispered half to himself.
	Josh snored lightly in response.
	Lance followed him into sleep in minutes.

---

	Lynn actually got the boys to rehearsal on time, and after some
obligatory whining and warm-ups, they went to work with their main
choreographer, Fatima.  Justin tried to concentrate on his moves. Normally
it came naturally to him and he picked up a new sequence faster than
anybody -- even JC. But today he just couldn't hold it together.
"Step-slide, turn, reverse... shit!" He ran right into Lance, who for once
was not the one screwing up.  "Hey Curly! You're making me look like Fred
Astaire today!" Lance smiled gently at him and put his hand on Justin's arm
as he stumbled.  "I'm sorry man, I just can't concentrate. I'm still tired
I guess."  Lance looked into Justin's deep blue eyes. "You miss him don't
you?"  The tall blond pressed his lips together and looked at the
ground. "Yah, guess I do."  He confessed after a moment.  "Helloo?" Fatima
banged her staff on the dance floor and they jumped. "This is not break
time! Okay, let's leave that one alone for awhile and try reviewing
something we all know!  'I Want you Back.' Positions from the beginning!"
Not wanting to piss their choreographer off any more than they already had,
Lance and Justin scrambled to their spots. 'Oh please not this one... who
wrote these damn lyrics...' Justin thought
 She punched a button on the CD player and started. "Justin! CONCENTRATE!
One!  Two! Three! Four! Fatima slammed her stick in time with the beat...

"You're all I ever wanted You're all I ever needed So tell me what to do
now Cause I want you back.

It's hard to say I'm sorry It's hard to make the things I did undone A
lesson I've learned too well, for sure So don't hang up the phone now I'm
trying to figure out just what to do I'm going crazy without you..."

Justin's vision was blurring from the tears in his eyes. He angrily tried
to fight them, but it only made it worse. He tripped and went sprawling on
the floor.  "Justin keep going! Recovery!" Fatima called. That was what
they did during a show: if you tripped or fell, you got up and kept
going. But Justin only lay on the floor, slowly curling up into a ball.
Lance broke ranks first and knelt next to his group mate. "Justin! Are you
hurt?"  Justin was sobbing quietly, his body shaking. "What is happening to
me?" He whimpered. "I can't believe this."  Lance wrapped his arms around
Justin and gave him a hug as he lay there. "I know it's rough buddy. It's
going to take a while to get over him."  Justin sat up as the other guys
came over and knelt around him. JC put a comforting hand on his shoulder
Fatima stopped the music and joined them. "Would someone like to tell me
what's going on? Justin, are you sick?" She asked, concern entering her
voice.  "No, I'm okay, just tired." Justin said, his voice wavering.
"Justin's had an upsetting couple of days." Lance told her.  "Well," She
looked at her watch, "If it were up to me I'd say take the rest of the day
off, but you know how much material we need to go over. And Bobby will be
here Tuesday the 9th with the new stuff for the retrospective sequence; I
hear that's going to be challenging. We have less than a month to pull this
show together."  "I know, I'm sorry." Justin said, struggling to his feet
and forcing a smile.  Lance helped him up, but then he stepped back
unsteadily, putting a hand to his head.  JC noticed and was instantly at
his side. "Are you okay?" He placed his hand on Lance's back to steady him.
"Yeah, I think so," Lance blinked a couple of times. "I felt a little
light-headed, kind of dizzy, but it's passing."  JC's brows furrowed. "Are
you sure? You look kind of pale."  "Yeah, I'm okay. How about you, Curly?"
Justin nodded. "Give me a minute, okay? I'll just get a drink of water." He
walked unsteadily off the dance floor to a cooler.  "He looks sick to me."
Fatima shook her head.  "Love-sick." Joey muttered. JC shot him a glare,
but Fatima hadn't heard him.  "You guys make sure he gets sleep tonight."
She admonished them. "No clubbin'."  The rest of rehearsal went better,
though Justin was clearly not himself. He went through the motions with
none of his usual enthusiasm. Despite her schedule concerns, Fatima let
them go at six PM, an hour early.  Walking across the parking lot, Justin
handed the keys to JC. "You drive." He said tonelessly.  "Okay, man." He
caught Chris' concerned glance. Justin rarely let anyone but his mother
drive his prized Mercedes.

Back at the house they showered and helped Lynn make dinner, taking turns
playing Nintendo with Justin's little brother Jonathan. Everyone was
unusually quiet: Justin, who was usually full of energy and enthusiasm,
dutifully ate his food with hardly a word. When he finished, his excused
himself, put his plate in the sink and left the room.  Lynn glanced at JC
in concern but said nothing; JC shrugged.  But Jonathan had of course
noticed his brother's change. "Is Justin sick?" He asked, pushing his peas
around his plate.  "He's tired honey," Lynn answered, "Now eat your
vegetables."

----

	Terry sat on his bed. Tomorrow he was going back to work. His boss,
Carolyn, had been surprisingly understanding, though it was obvious she was
none too happy about this turn of events regarding the 'N Sync website. She
told him they would deal with that when he got in.
	He had one more thing he needed to face; he knew he couldn't put it
off any longer.  He pulled out his cell and keyed in the number to play
back his messages...

	"Terry, this is Justin! I know you saw that thing with Britney and
it doesn't mean anything okay!? She's just a friend! Please call me!!
Otherwise I'll talk to you tonight. I'm sorry, man okay? I've been an
ass. Um, I love you."

	He fought back tears at Justin's closing comment. 'No, I've been an
ass. I am an ass.'  Deep down Terry knew there was nothing much between
Justin and Britney; the singer hadn't mentioned her once in all the time
they had been together. Terry was only using her as an excuse to run away
from Justin.
	The remaining several messages were all variations on the same
thing. With each one Justin's voice became more pleading and Terry felt
more and more horrible.

	"Terry! Are you okay? I'll be at the hotel in an hour or so."

	"I got your letter." Terry could tell Justin was fighting to
control his voice. "You can't do this! Please call me before you fly out, I
just want to talk."

	"Hey, it's Saturday morning. I guess you're in DC now, and you're
not going to call me. I can't believe it's come to this man, I really care
about you and I thought you cared about me. We're doing a video shoot today
and flying to Orlando tonight. I hope you are okay. You know what's sad, is
I can't even be mad at you, I dunno why. Maybe cause I know that you are
there beating yourself up enough for both of us. I don't understand you,
man, I guess I never will, since you never gave me the chance. Well, I
gotta go. Good luck, or whatever."

	Terry filed the messages -- unable to bring himself to delete this
tiny piece of Justin -- and laid down on his bed, feeling very
stupid... and very alone.

----

	Lance came out of the bathroom to find only a small light on. He
saw JC curled up on the bed, turned away from the door, the covers pulled
up to his neck. 'Maybe he's asleep already, poor thing.' Lance thought. He
quietly made sure the door to the hall was closed -- and locked -- and
crept to the bed. He could see the back of JC's head, and his bare,
muscular shoulders. 'He is so gorgeous.' Lance thought as he turned out the
light. He slid out of his robe and crawled gingerly into bed behind his
lover, wrapping his right arm around JC's torso while gingerly sliding his
left under the pillow supporting his head.
	Lance couldn't imagine how he slept all these years alone when
being here next to Josh seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
	JC moaned in his sleep and wiggled back into the curve of Lance's
body so they were more fully in contact.
	Lance smiled to himself and kissed JC tenderly on the back of his
neck. "I love you."  He whispered.
	JC only made a little sighing sound as his body seemed to relax a
bit in Lance's embrace.
	That was enough for Lance. More than enough.

----

	Terry was having that nightmare again. He knew it was just a dream,
but that didn't make it any less horrible.
	Just like before, he was tied to a chair, a terrible pain in his
side. One thug stood over him while two others brought the struggling
Justin into view. While Terry watched helplessly they shoved him down on
the ground. Justin fought and screamed as the leader went over to
him... Terry looked away.
	Then he realized that he wasn't tied after all. He could move, he
could get up. Still he sat where he was, eyes closed. But he couldn't shut
out Justin's cries of fear and pain...  still he didn't move... held where
he was by some force, some fear...
	Terry woke flailing on the bed. His t-shirt and hair were soaked
with sweat, and he was suddenly chilled to the bone. What had that dream
meant? Why was it different?

----

	It seemed like only moments had passed when the alarm went off with
a buzz that jarred Lance to wakefulness It was still dark outside; the only
light in the room was from the illuminated clock.
	JC's arm shot out, deftly whacked the snooze button, and retracted
under the blankets. It was obvious that this was something he had done many
times before.
	"What time is it?" Lance asked through a yawn. He'd moved away from
JC in his sleep and now scooted back up behind him.
	"Time for us to play." JC said, abruptly spinning around in the
bed. He moved close and kissed Lance on the tip of his nose, then withdrew
a few inches.
	Lance could barely make out the contours of JC's face in the
dimness. He laid his palm across Josh's stubbly cheek, then very tenderly
caressed JC's chin and lips with the ball of his thumb.
	Josh parted his lips then closed them around Lance's thumb, toying
with it. Then he wrapped his arm around the blond and pulled their bodies
together, his fingers cupping Lance's ass cheek for a moment before moving
up to the small of his back.
	Lance made a little moaning sound, then slid his hand around to the
back of JC's head, drawing him in for a kiss. Their lips barely touched,
grazing back and forth, mouths slightly open. Lance felt himself begin to
tremble; this light caress gave him an intense enjoyment that went beyond
the physical. Then he felt a tremor pass through Josh's body too -- was he
feeling this same emotion?
	Then JC's tongue slipped out and traced along Lance's lips, across
his cheek, and up to his ear lobe. He flicked the tip along the little
bauble of flesh and sucked on it, then he ranged along the contours.
	Lance gasped in pleasure and arched his back as JC's agile tongue
slithered along his ear. He'd had no idea that his ears were such an
erogenous zone... He pulled JC's body against his, feeling his lover's
hardness grinding against his thigh.
	Then Josh's hands slipped down his back and inside his underwear,
kneading his muscular gluteals, fingers straying teasingly between
them. Lance felt his boxer-briefs being eased down, and his own hard cock
popped free.
	Lance ran his hand over JC's lean pecs, down over his tight
stomach, then dove inside his boxers. He wrapped his fingers around JC
stiff penis, smiling as he felt his lover tremble at the touch. He was
about to make a comment about someone being frisky, but JC suddenly covered
his mouth with a passionate kiss, his tongue moving in to swirl against
Lance's.
	There was a moment of frantic shimmying and kicking, then they were
both free of their underwear. JC rolled on top of Lance, straddling his
hips, and they resumed their light, playful kissing. JC rocked his hips up
and down so that their cocks would rub together.
	Lance could feel JC's lips spread into a smile against his. He
couldn't help smiling in return as he ran his fingers lightly up and down
his lover's flanks. He could almost count Josh's ribs he was so lean...
	Then JC lowered himself and ground their hips together more
forcefully, drawing a gasp of pleasure from Lance. He dove under the
covers, his lips clamping around the blond's left nipple while
simultaneously tweaking the right. Lance moaned and ran his fingers
fitfully through JC's hair.
	Then the alarm went off again.
	JC ignored it, but Lance couldn't shut out the grating buzz. His
arm flailed out and his fingers closed on the clock just as JC's teeth
nibbled on his tender flesh. A growl of pure pleasure escaped the blond
boy's mouth and he savagely yanked the clock out of the wall. It dropped to
the floor with an angry clatter. "Oops." Lance mumbled.
	Meanwhile, JC was heading south. One hand enfolded Lance's balls
and his lips circled the flared head of his cock.
	"Ohhhhh." Lance said eloquently, spreading his legs. JC took more
of him, rasping his tongue against the tender underside of his penis. He
tickled his fingers at the base of the blond's ball sack, enjoying the
little whimpers of pleasure he was eliciting from Lance.  Then with his
free hand he began stroking in time with his mouth. More than once he
managed to bring Lance close and then ease back. He licked his heavy balls
and slid a finger along Lance's ass crack as the blond's breathing
gradually slowed again. He looked up at Lance for approval. He never wanted
to go further than Lance was comfortable. "Do you want to...?" He
whispered.
	"Yesss!" Lance hissed desperately. "Make love to me!"
	JC fished the lubricant out of the bedside table -- where he had
conveniently placed it the night before -- and applied a generous amount to
his penis and to Lance's hole. He slid a finger inside and felt the blond's
muscle clamp down on it. He raised Lance's legs, moved up into position and
placed the flared head of his cock at his lover's opening. He looked over
one more time and Lance nodded. He began to slowly push...
	Lance winced and recoiled a little, but he clamped a hand on JC's
butt to keep him from moving. "It's okay." He whispered.
	The head went in a moment later and both sighed. JC moved up and
eased further in, and Lance groaned in pleasure. He pulled his legs up
further as JC reached around to stroke Lance's still-hard cock.
	"Ohhh, Josh..." Lance gasped. JC pushed again and he was all the
way in. "You feel so good... inside me..."
	JC leaned down and kissed him tenderly. "I want you to feel good
baby, cause you make me feel fantastic." He moved only slightly in and out
while slowly pumping Lance's thick penis with his hand. JC managed to keep
this up for a long time, while they both built again towards a
climax. Sweat sheened their bodies; it dripped from JC's face onto Lance's
heaving chest. Then JC began to lengthen his thrusts, encouraged by Lance's
hands on his ass, pulling him in with every drive. He kissed and licked the
blond's neck and chest, flicking his tongue over the protruding
nipples. Then as Lance's moans got louder he accelerated his motions and
pumped faster on his lover's swelling cock. He leaned back and their eyes
met.
	Lance was in a haze of physical and emotional ecstasy. His
lovemaking with JC was always more than he ever imagined sex could be. He
used to think it was dirty, almost sinful to enjoy sex. And of course his
sex fantasies involved other men, so they were doubly damned. But here he
was joined with this beautiful man who loved him, and he knew it couldn't
be wrong. They were giving each other pleasure and that was all that
mattered.
	He looked into JC's intense blue eyes, then pulled him down again,
one hand behind his head, the other cupping one of his pecs. Just was they
kissed, Lance felt himself going over the edge. He let out a long groan --
fortunately muffled by JC. His sphincter muscles contracted around Josh's
cock in spasms as he felt himself pumping out stream after stream between
their sweaty bodies.
	JC kept going, thrusting ever faster as he neared his own
climax. Lance pinched JC's nipples and Josh broke their kiss, his mouth
moving down to clamp onto Lance's neck.  "Ohhh god..." He groaned, and with
one last push he was coming, his entire body rigid with the intensity of
his orgasm. The blond wrapped his legs around JC, holding him there as long
as possible.
	Finally, as their breathing slowed, they relaxed and JC rested his
head on Lance's chest. "You okay?" He asked quietly.
	Lance combed his fingers tenderly through JC's sweaty
hair. "Couldn't be better." He said with a little smile.
	"You sound kind of smug." JC ran a fingertip around Lance's
nipple. "I want you to be the top guy one of these days so I can see what
it's like to be on the receiving end."
	"One of these days." Lance said sleepily. "But right now I just
want to lie with you awhile. This feels just perfect."
	"Hmmm, Yeah." JC agreed. "Though if we stay like this too long
we're gonna be stuck together permanently."
	"I don't have a problem with that."
	"Me either, actually."

----

	On Monday, Terry dressed and ate breakfast in a mental
haze. Everything that had seemed so familiar to him before now had an alien
feel. Waiting for the Metro train deep underground at the cavernous Dupont
Circle station, he looked at the people around him.  He belonged here, he
realized sadly, here with the ordinary people; not living out of a hotel
room with a bunch of teen idols. But that wasn't what was bothering him. He
missed Justin. He tortured himself by recalling a vivid, wonderful memory
of waking in the middle of the night, holding Justin as he slept. He had
tenderly kissed the blond, and Justin sleepily responded, then pulled his
lean body half on top of Terry. The designer realized to his embarrassment
and confusion that he was simultaneously starting to cry...  and getting
and erection. He was grateful for his long coat and sunglasses.
	Terry showed his pass for the security guard in the building lobby,
got himself a grande coffee at the mini-Starbuck's and headed for an
elevator. Cybermedia had an entire floor of this high-rise in suburban
Virginia outside of DC, a region swiftly becoming known as the east-coast
silicon valley. He was a little early, and didn't expect to see anyone on
the way in, but just as the elevator doors were closing he recognized the
person running around the corner. Diminutive Tina Nakamura leapt onto the
car before he even had a chance to hold the doors.
	"Terry! What a surprise!" She said in a big voice -- especially for
such a small person. "Last I heard you were gonna be gone for months on
some kind of crazy tour with a boy-band."
	"Yeah, well, it didn't work out." Terry muttered. He liked Tina,
but it was just hitting home that he was going to have to explain his
return about a hundred times today.
	"All those squealing girls would drive me batty." She said, making
a face. "But I'm glad you're back. The server has been down more than up, a
bunch of systems are out of commission, and a all kinds of other stuff is
not working right."
	"Where's Kurt?" Terry cocked an eyebrow, wondering what had
happened to his stand-in as network administrator.
	"Oh, he's around. He just doesn't get it, you know? He's on the
phone with Tech Support a lot."
	"Like that will help anything."
	"Exactly. I bet he'll be glad to hand that job back to you; he'd
rather sit and write HTML all day than answer another troubleshooting
question."
	Terry had to admit, it was nice being welcomed back in his
office. As a self- confessed chip-head, he had happily taken on all the
duties related to maintaining their computer network when he first started
at Cybermedia over three years ago. Their server was ancient, their network
a kludged-together tangle of hubs and ethernet cables, they had no backup
system, and their software upgrades were way behind. He streamlined
everything, took charge of the network and backups, and basically kept
everything running. Everyone from the Senior Art director to Jeremy the
receptionist had learned that when something went wrong with their
computer, Terry could usually fix it. What continually amazed most of the
other people at Cybermedia was his almost eerie ability to figure out the
problem with very little information, and in some cases fix it in
unorthodox ways. He had resurrected a dead hard drive once by whacking it
with the palm of his hand. He regularly opened files thought beyond repair,
and pulled stuff from tape archives that no one else could find.
	The respect he got from that was nice, and tech stuff was one of
the few things he genuinely knew he was good at. He had less faith in his
design abilities, despite the fact that he regularly got praise and choice
assignments... including the chance to be in on the 'N Sync web project.
	The truth was, he found it easier to deal with machines than
people. Machines only expect so much from you, and -- compared to people at
least -- they were easy to understand.
	He got to his cubicle, responding to half a dozen surprised glances
along the way with a bland smile. He was relieved to find his little work
area was pretty much as he had left it. People respected him -- or feared
him -- enough that the vultures hadn't swooped down and scavenged any of
his equipment. Slumping in his chair, Terry turned on his computer and
looked around. He cringed at the little 'N Sync Calendar on his wall, and a
goofy picture of Lance he'd gotten off the internet. His gaze was drawn
back to Justin in the group picture on the calendar. It all seemed like a
dream now. But would things ever go back to the way they were? No, of
course not. Every time he heard something about 'N Sync he knew he would
feel a little twinge of regret, of the chance he had run away from.

----

	The next week for Justin, Joey, Lance, JC and Chris was full of
singing and dancing rehearsals broken up by interviews and photo
shoots. Lance was silently thankful that Danielle didn't put in any
appearances, while Justin seemed to walk in a haze of indifference. He went
through the motions with grim determination, but there was no spark to
anything he did. His playful sense of humor was nowhere to be found,
despite Chris' best efforts to bring it out. His response to most questions
was "whatever." They all knew things were bad when Justin didn't even have
any interest in playing basketball.
	The Sunday a week after their return to Orlando was Valentine's
Day, their first full day off from rehearsals. Lance and JC had already
discussed it and agreed that they weren't going to make a big deal out of
the day so as not to upset Justin. Lynn's husband Paul was back in town and
they were going out to dinner, so when all the guys had finally gotten up
around noon, Lance suggested they just rent a bunch of movies and stay at
home.
	Justin scowled at him. "Aren't you and JC goin' out for
Valentine's?"
	"Nah, Valentine's Day is overrated. Besides, we eat out all the
time." JC said from the sofa where Jonathan was beating him at Mortal
Kombat.
	Justin rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He got up and went to his room,
threw himself on the bed and turned on the TV. He flipped through the
channels for awhile, but wasn't really paying attention so it didn't matter
what was on. After lying around for an hour or so, he made a decision, and
two phone calls. Then he went downstairs, determined to at least try to
have fun with his friends.
	In the end the evening went pretty well. They rented some action
movies, and before the night was over they got into a huge popcorn fight
that even brought Justin out of his funk for awhile. At about two in the
morning they all turned in.
	Of course Terry didn't call.

----

	Another Monday morning. Terry almost welcomed the routine of work;
it helped to keep his mind off other things -- like spending Valentine's
Day alone. He had barely gotten settled in his cubicle -- reading his email
-- when his phone beeped.
	"Yah?"
	"Terry? It's Jeremy. Honey, you need to come up front." Jeremy, the
receptionist, was a sweetheart, but a bit flamboyant for Terry's taste.
	"Why?" Terry hated few things more than dealing with an unexpected
client visit, and this could hardly be anything else.
	"Just come up here."
	Terry got up with a snarl and practically stomped up to the
reception desk. Jeremy was signing a clipboard, while a delivery guy stood
impatiently waiting. But what Terry noticed first were the three dozen red
roses in vases on the desk. "What's this all about?"  He asked gruffly,
though he was getting a sinking feeling in his gut.
	"You tell me, lover boy." Jeremy gestured dramatically to the card
buried amongst one of the clusters of flowers. "These are for you." He sat
back down behind his phone console. "No one ever sends ME flowers!" He
sighed. "And I bet they're from one of those BOYS, aren't they?"
	Terry shot Jeremy a glare. He hadn't said a word to anyone about
his relationship with Justin, but Jeremy could put two and two together. He
pulled the card out; his hands were beginning to shake as he opened it.


	"Dear Terry,
	Sorry these are a day late; I couldn't get your home address. I
miss you so much.  Please please call me. I love you.

				Justin"


	Terry clenched his teeth and took a deep breath to calm himself.
	"I've never seen anyone look so unhappy after getting three dozen
roses! But then I've never seen anyone get three dozen roses." Jeremy
sighed. "What's the matter, Terence?"
	"Nothing. Thanks Jer. You can keep two of these up here; they
wouldn't fit in my cube anyway." Terry grabbed one of the vases and stalked
back to his cube.
	"Thanks I guess." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Jeez he's got issues!"
He muttered to himself.

----

	Terry angrily dried his eyes, torn with indecision. What good would
it do to call Justin? He owed him that at least, after his cowardly
departure. A part of him hoped he could just leave a message. Terry winced
and dialed Justin's cell phone number. It rang once, twice...

	In Orlando, Justin was still at home, lying on his bed and waiting
for the others to get ready and head off to practice. His cell phone rang
and he snatched it up, looking at the Caller ID display. Cybermedia... he
flipped it open.
	"Terry!" Justin's voice was all joy and excitement.
	"Hi. Um, thanks you for the flowers, they're beautiful."
	"I'm sorry they're a day late. I hope you weren't embarrassed to
get them at work."
	"No, not at all. People are jealous actually. Who else gets three
dozen roses, much less from a handsome pop idol?"
	Justin felt himself smiling. "I'm glad you like them."
	"So, um, how are you? I know you're busy."
	"I've got time. And to answer your first question, I could be
better, to tell the truth."
	"I'm sorry."
	"Sorry don't cut it, Terry. I can't believe you left like that."
Justin wasn't known for pulling punches, and it was time to cut to the
chase.
	"I told you in my note, I didn't understand the whole Britney
thing... I don't understand 'us'..."
	"I would have explained it to you! She's just a friend... less than
that really. She's changed." He frowned. "I know it didn't look good and I
went after you, but you were gone already. Britney likes to pretend we're
dating, but we never were, and we never will. It was one of those Mickey
Mouse Club things. And our management wanted to have me seen with her, sort
of like they are doing with Lance and Danielle now, trying to cover him
being gay."
	"That's part of it too." Terry said quietly. "You guys live in a
different world. I got your message, and I understand about her now I
guess. But she's just part of the whole thing."
	"I know it's different, but it's not that bad, you'll get used to
it!"
	"Justin..."
	"Listen! I'm really sorry, Terry. I appreciated all the things you
said in your letter, and I forgive you for the comment the other morning. I
was being too sensitive. But at the time it was a lot for me to take, and I
was confused."
	"I was confused too, Justin. I was scared."
	"Come to Orlando. Please."
	I can't Justin, I have a job here. And this is my home.  "Don'
gimme that! Home is where there's someone who loves you, man!" Justin leapt
off the bed. "I love you!" He nearly shouted into the phone.  "Justin, you
don't know what you're saying. You don't know me... you don't want to."
Terry was finding it hard to talk. Why was he doing this to himself? To
Justin?  "Why are you trying to push me away!?"  "I... I don't even know. I
just..."  "Terry, listen to me. My mom told me the one thing she learned
after her divorce was you can't just keep things bottled up inside -- you
gotta talk out your feelings. Why can't you talk to me? Don't you think
I'll understand?"  "No! It's not that at all. You... you overwhelm me."
Justin couldn't hold back a bitter laugh. "You're kidding, right?"  "You
know I'm not, and you know the effect you have on people."  Justin banged
his fist on his dresser angrily. "Man that's just wrong. You know me better
than that by now. You know how I respect you!"  "Yeah, and that scares me
more. I'm afraid I won't live up to your expectations."  "It's not about
what I expect! I just want the 'you' I knew when we were together!"  "It's
not that simple."  "Yes it is! Tell me you don't miss me!"  "Justin, I..."
"Tell me! Tell me you don't miss me, tell me you don't want to see me and
I'll leave you alone!!"  "Dammit Justin of course I miss you." Terry wiped
his eyes with the back of his hand. "But don't you see how crazy this is?
What happens if we have a fight, there we are living on that bus
together..."  "Jeez, you are determined to look for trouble, aren't you?"
Justin stormed around the room. You don't think the five of us fight!? Oh
my god I could tell you stories! But we're not stupid. We work it out and
make up. There ain't no room for grudges and crap like that."
	"I don't know." Terry began to think he never should have
called. Justin's voice, his arguments, were weakening his resolve. And it
didn't help that he was picturing the singer, remembering being with
him... "I need to think about it."
	"Don't think too long. You know the tour starts March 3."
	"I know. I do miss you."
	"I miss you too." Justin sighed.
	"Well, thanks again. I gotta go."
	"Bye." Justin closed his phone and flopped on the bed.
	Terry slowly put the receiver on the cradle. He sat for a long
time, staring unseeing at the computer monitor, his mind in turmoil.



To be continued...


End of Part FIFTEEN!

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