Date: Thu, 27 Apr 2000 02:09:46 EDT
From: SaetanSaDiablo@aol.com
Subject: One More Try -- Intro and Chapter 1

	Hey Guys, what's up? Nothing? That's good. Keep it that way.

	Before I can say much more, I have to thank all of my proofreaders,
KB, Jamie, Danni, Lauren, Amanda, Sean, Brad, Brian T., Chris, Justin, and
::coughs::, Brian B.

	 I want to thank KB for his support and helping me write a title
for the story.

	I want to thank KB, Jamie, Lauren, and Sean for the inspiration and
help that they have given me.

	I really want to thank Adrian and KB for being the rocks in my
endless sea of emotion. ::shrugs:: They gave me what I needed most: a
friend.

	And I would like to thank everyone for supporting me in my times of
need, especially when I decided to come out to my friend. It's a big
decision, and not to be taken lightly.

	Also, people have a habit of telling me I have a problem with
writing dialog because they can't follow who is talking? Well...just follow
the rule: A new paragraph means a new speaker unless it is otherwise
directed.

	Eh, you know all the legal stuff: Read it if you're over 18, don't
if you're not.

	Any sexuality that is depicted in this story is untrue unless
otherwise stated publicly. (In other words, they're all made up)

	The characters in this story are not real, just figments of my
imagination. Really!

	Oh! And, email me! ::evil grin:: SaetanSaDiablo@aol.com

	IM me or whatever, all criticism welcome. Except if you say you
can't follow my dialog, because my friends, and a few others, can. Simply
put: A new paragraphs means a new speaker. ::shrugs:: Simple enough rule,
right?


			       One More Try
				By Corrado

	Have you ever sat down and wondered if things happen for a reason?
If there really is such a thing as fate? I guess I have...but that's what
brings me to this story.

	One night, a long time ago, I was surfing around on Nifty. For
those of you who do not know what this is...it's an archive of stories.
Ranging from your first sexual experience, to long winded love stories.

	But there's something else about this archive, it's not just sexual
experiences. There's something...different. It's not just experiences, or
fiction. There's love...there's hate. But there's a few different
categories...I won't go into it now, but there's a category called
`Boy-Bands.' It's a part of the archive with stories about the Backstreet
Boys, NSync, and other lovely stories. Some are just one night stands,
others are love stories about someone falling in love with the
celebrity...and everything turning out right. If only life worked like
that.

	I must admit though, some of those stories are pretty great. There
are some very talented authors there. I mean, I myself am not one of
them. Sure I submitted a story...or two...(or five) but that's because I
wanted to try and write something in that particular genre. My first story
was about Brad, (the main character, not modeled by me except in
personality and experiences) who fell in love with a boy-band member named
`Brian Littrell.' But as I neared the middle of the story, I started to
fall more toward Kevin Richardson, so I decided to drop Brad and go with
another story...

	But that story I didn't submit to the archive. I don't know why, I
just felt that it wasn't finished. I just felt like there was something I
should be doing with it, and not sending it to the archive. So I didn't. So
I put that story aside on a disk and put it in my underwear drawer in my
dresser. And I started another story...only this one was about myself,
falling in love with an author who really did know how to write. But after
awhile that story grew out of my reach and I felt myself reaching for the
story with Kevin.

	I knew there was always something about that story, something that
was missing and that it wasn't quite right...but I didn't know what! For
three days I didn't sleep or eat, only drank and tried to write. But I
never could get in touch with that story again. So I just put off to the
side and went back to work on the story of real life.

	It's amazing though, what people would do for love. I mean, I've
had different lovers over the years, I'm twenty-six after all. I'm not
virgin, but I'm no slut...I'm just like any of you, I guess. Wandering the
different paths of life looking for a love that I doubt I'll ever find.

	Depressing, huh? I guess if you put it that way it is kind of
depressing.

	But what am I to do? Just sit around like a good boy and watch my
friends find love and get married and have children and basically, get
lives?

	It's amazing, sometimes. To watch the people you played with as a
kid grow up and get married...and find them pregnant months later. Time
doesn't stop for anyone, and it took me years to figure that out. I just
wish I knew that as a child.

	But I guess it's all something we need to learn. It's something
that takes time for us to learn, but we learn it all the same.

	But that lesson, might also be a lesson we learn when we first fall
in love. Whether we know we fall in love or not. Because I fell in love
with someone... didn't know I actually loved them until almost a year
passed, but I loved him nonetheless.

	I guess, by now, you already gathered that I was gay. If not, I
hope that was the clue that announced it for you. I guess...

	Well, I'm not gay. I'm bisexual...I guess. I'm not confused,
because I know that I prefer men to women, but I wouldn't mind having a
woman. I can sit there and tell you who's pretty and who's not...and a
woman can turn me on. But a man...there's just security in a man that I
can't find in a woman.

	Love is a strange thing, most people don't notice the difference
between `love' and `Love.' But then, some people don't know they're in
love.

	I guess that's why I'm telling you this story...because hopefully
you'll recognize the one you're going to love forever like I did. It took
me almost a year, but I did. Maybe you could find that person...sooner
rather than later.

----------

	"Where the hell is my brush?" Kelly yelled from the bathroom. I
wasn't paying particular attention to her ramblings, only do to the fact
that this happened every Friday night. And I mean, EVERY...Friday
night. "Well?" I heard her yell again. After a moment of thought I replied
with a very witty remark. "Smart. Now where is it?"

	"Right there." I pointed to the table next to where she was
standing. She looked down and almost blushed. Her long blonde hair flowed
over her shoulders as she chuckled.

	"I'm really sorry, Dam." She said with a sigh. "I'm just worked
up. You'll see why when he gets here." I laughed softly and fished around
for my book. Just as I started reading again I heard a scream come from the
bathroom. "Where the hell is my lipstick? Damien Scott Jones!" I rolled my
eyes.

	"In the basket by the toilet!"

	"Oh." I heard her say before she went back to prettying herself
up. After about twenty minutes, she emerged from the bathroom and stood
right in front of me.

	"Pretty." I said and went back to my book.

	"That's it? Pretty?" She asked with one carefully plucked eyebrow
raised.

	"Yeah. Pretty. I'm gay. What do you want me to say?" I said with a
blank expression on my face.

	"You're far from gay. And I was expecting...'I want you to rape me
right now.' as a response." Oh, is that all that she wanted?

	"Oh. Well, yeah, I am gay. And you are very pretty. But I don't
want to rape you, you're not worth going to jail over." I said calmly. She
stood there for a moment.

	"Prick." She said with a grin.

	"Ass." I shot back.

	"Jerkwad."

	"Fuck nut."

	"Bitch."

	"Only to my boyfriends." I said with a laugh. She smiled and kissed
my cheek.

	"We'll just see about that."

	I was just about to form a witty reply when I heard our doorbell
ring.

	"Ooh!" I mouthed with her, "That's him!" As soon as I started to
laugh she glared at me. "I'll be good." I said with a grin. Of course, I
didn't mean a damn word.

	She stumbled with her high heels and walked over to the door. As
soon as she opened it I was staring into a smiling pair of green eyes.

	"Hello." A voice said. It was deep and centered at me. It filled my
ears with so much pleasure...especially with that light southern accent!

	"Hello." I replied with a goofy grin on my face. "C'mon in." I
stepped out of the way. He smiled and stepped through. Following him was
someone who had his strong jaw...but clear blue eyes and a serene quality.

	"Hi." He said in an equally southern voice, just not as deep as the
first.

	"Hello." I said, a bit perplexed.

	"Is Kelly home?" He asked peering over my shoulder. I thought then
that this would be her date.

	"Yeah, she's right here." I said as she pushed me out of the
way. He took her hand and kissed her on the cheek.

	"Hey Dam, this is Brian Littrell." I smiled as I shook his
hand. "And this is his cousin, Kevin Richardson." I turned toward him, who
happened to be taller than Brian, and shook his hand.

	"Hello again, to you two." I said with a grin. Kevin laughed and
grinned at Kelly.

	"Y'all won't mind?" He asked with a grin.

	"Not at all. Damien wouldn't mind some company, would he?" I
laughed. Of course I wouldn't, especially with a hot...celebrity in the
house.

	"No, not at all. But...could you warn me next time when I'm gonna
get grouped with someone? At least...next time I won't look like such a
mess!" I said with a laugh.

	"You don't look that bad." Kevin said with a smile. I raised an
eyebrow and started to laugh.

	"Thanks." I thought about what he said for a moment and added, "I
think." With a slight laugh, I put an arm around his shoulders and leaned
in toward him.

	"Kevin, watch what you say." Then in a lower voice, "Kelly might
get jealous." I laughed and ran behind Kelly and peeks out over her
shoulder.

	"Get your ass out from behind me before I kick it." Kelly said,
obviously amused.

	"Only if you promise to kick it really hard." I shot
back. Apparently fortune must have smiled my way because that's when Brain
decided to speak up and ask Kelly if she was ready. Kelly, flushed and
grabbed her purse and keys. With a small smile, she placed a kiss upon my
cheek and one on Kevin's, and walked out the door with Brian holding her
hand.

	"They're so cute together, don't you think?" My heart smiled, I
frowned.

	"He better treat her good. Damn good." I said sternly. Kevin smiled
warmly.

	"I know my cousin better than almost anyone...I know he'll treat
her good." Upon hearing this, I smiled and placed an arm over Kevin's
shoulders.

	"Want to call for a pizza and watch some TV?" I asked with an evil
grin. Kevin smiled back and me and shrugged his shoulders the best he could
due to the fact that I had my arm around them.

	After a few moments, I grabbed my wallet and the phone book, and
proceeded to order a pizza. A large cheese one, to be exact. I wonder if
it's true when people say that New York pizzas are the best, from what I've
eaten, I would have to say so. They're so large and cheesy. But only if you
order from the right place.

	Meanwhile, Kevin had settled himself on the couch and was flipping
through the channels. I jumped over the couch and landed right next to
him. I grinned and said, "What's up, Sexy boy?" He gave me a weird look
then dismissed me. I rolled my eyes and slapped him upside the
head. "What's up?" He laughed and all of a sudden he was on me! I couldn't
stop laughing, his hands were going everywhere, tickling everything. And
I'm VERY ticklish. And he was able to keep it up until the pizza finally
arrive. I grumbled something about stamina as I grabbed my wallet and paid
for the pies.

	We ate in pretty much silence except for the slight, polite
conversation. We pretty much used up all of our energy wrestling. (Or
rather, him tickling me. Me laughing.) I suddenly burped and excused
myself. After a minute, he started to laugh. After a few more moments, he
was sprawled out on the floor laughing his ass off.

	"You know," I said a bit pissed, "All I did was burp. It's not THAT
funny." He just looked at me and started to chuckle. His face was red with
his excursion.

	"It's not you, it's just...it reminded me of a time when Nick was
eating...and he sneezed...Nick was eating spaghetti, anyway, he sneezed and
the spaghetti came out of his nose. I don't know how, but that just
reminded me of it for some strange and unusual reason. But enough about
that, want some more soda or anything?" I shook my head `no' and finished
eating my pizza slice. Every now and then I'd catch him giggling at me. I
growled softly every time I heard even the slightest chuckle, and he'd stop
immediately. I loved messing with him.

	After a little bit, he and I settled down to a nice steady
conversation about our past. I didn't really talk much about my past
because...it wasn't bad, but it wasn't the best. I had abusive parents, and
I grew up around a very homophobic environment. My cousin was gay, as were
my uncle and his boyfriend. My family hated them and I loved them. But of
course, I didn't tell Kevin that I was gay. I didn't know him that well.

	"My father was pretty abusive." I said slowly. "Not just physical,
but mental. He'd hit me, and trick me into thinking that it was my fault
for making him hit me, and so I wouldn't talk back or anything. But there
were a few times I did end up talking back, and we'd get into a fist
fight. And I'd end up losing because I was afraid of hitting him. I loved
him at the time. Though I didn't know it, I did love him. Is that sad?" I
asked softly. I looked up into his eyes and saw some sadness in them.

	"It's not sad, Dam. It's true. You needed a constant, even if it
was the fights you had with your father. Everyone needs a constant, mine is
joking with Nick. Because I know I can do it, and that there's a ninety
percent chance of actually joking around with him. And with Howie, if
there's a fight in the group, you can count on him helping us out." Up
until that point, we never even acknowledged anyone even related to the
Backstreet Boys, or his relationship with them. (The fact that he was one
of them...) The subject was never brought up. I gave him a look for a
moment and he must have thought I was puzzled when I wasn't. I was
just...thinking. "You do know who I am, right?" I laughed softly when I
heard him ask me this question.

	"Of course! What kind of citizen would I be if I didn't know you
were from that boy band, NSync?" He gave me a strange look for a moment
before hitting my shoulder playfully.

	"Dork. The Backstreet Boys."

	"I knew who you were, Dorknut. I was just messing with you." He
smiled at me, what a beautiful thing. I couldn't help it, I leaned over and
grabbed him by the collar.

	"Listen up, Buster. You're going to help clean up this mess or I'll
sick Kelly on you. And you know I will." He gasped dramatically.

	"Oh no! Anything but that! Anything!" He got on his knees and
started to beg. "Please! I'll do anything!" `That's a very tempting offer,'
I thought to myself. But I quickly pushed all impure thoughts aside. For
the moment anyway. I started to pick up the plates and as I went for the
glasses, he slapped me hand away, mumbling something about how the glasses
were his job. I set the dishes up in the dishwasher and turned it on. I'm
not sure if you have one, but the dish washer I have, vibrates. A lot. It's
like, `Uhhhh....micro..ooorrrgaaassssmm...' (Micro-Orgasm for all you picky
folks.) Anyway, I nudged Kevin out of my way so I could run and use the
restroom. (I'm sorry folks, this has to be in here to. I aim to please, and
I'm sure some of my readers get off on people either pissin' in the
bathroom, or masturbating. Fortunately, Damien isn't gonna masturbate. I
hope not, anyway.)

	After I relieved myself and washed my hands, (A habit that was
engraved in me, catholic upbringing.) I walked out into the kitchen and
noticed Kevin rummaging through the refrigerator.

	"Tequila rose is on the top shelf." I said. I must have startled
him because he jumped and turned around.

	"What?" He said with a loopy grin.

	"Tequila rose is on the top shelf." He mouthed `oh' before he went
back to searching for whatever it was he was searching for. I shrugged and
sat down on the couch. And for some reason, I had a weird desire to take up
writing the story I had started so long ago. I pushed the desire away again
because I wanted to hang out with Kevin, not ignore him and write.

	Kevin arrived back with two glasses and some milk. I didn't know
what he was doing until he poured me a glass of milk and set some kind of
pastry down in front of me.

	"What the hell is this?" I asked with an evil little grin.

	"Baklava." Was his reply. I picked up the pastry and took a small
bite. It was filled with honey and nuts and was extremely good. I took a
small sip of the milk, and to my surprise, it was Kelly's soy-milk! I
raised an eyebrow and he grinned.

	"It's disgusting, I agree, but it tastes good with the Baklava. Try
it.." I took a small bite of Baklava, despite my body's craving for a
bigger bite, and a small sip of soy milk. True enough, and strange enough,
it tasted rather good. He gave me a queer little grin and I rolled my eyes.

	"It's good." I nodded. "But it's not something I want to eat every
day of my life." I smiled, showing that I was joking. It was good, in fact,
I was going to out and buy some when I got a chance. I stood and leaned
against the wall and stared at Kevin for a moment. "You're a dork." I said
suddenly.

	"I'm a dork?" He blinked up at me.

	"Yeah. You're a dork." I said with some slight satisfaction. I
don't know why I was satisfied by confusing the poor guy, but I was.

	"Why am I a dork?" He asked.

	"Because I said so. Isn't that reason enough?" I said smugly. I
grinned to let him know I was joking, but I couldn't help but giggle a
little.

	"Yes. Oh Great One." He rolled his eyes.

	"I told you before!" I picked up a rolled newspaper and slapped him
in the back of the head. "You are to address me as Shena! Queen of the Slut
People." I don't know why I said that, it just popped out of my mouth. And
as soon as I said it, I covered my mouth. "Oh shit." I said with a giggle.

	"Oh?" He said with an evil little grin. I decided I should play the
part.

	"Yeah. Get on your knees and bow to the royal scepter." I said
trying not to blush and to keep serious. It didn't work. Because as soon as
he got on his knees I started to bawl out laughing. He apparently couldn't
hold it back anymore, because he was at my feet laughing his ass off. And
before I knew it, I was down there with him. I suppose it wasn't funny, but
at the time...it was hilarious.

	"What time is it?" He asked after our fit of laughter was over. I
looked at my watch and noticed it was only ten at night.

	"Ten." I said as I yawned a little. The laughing and wrestling took
a little out of me. "What's going on?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "What
time should they be back?"

	"Like...one in the morning." He laughed. "If I know my cousin,
they'll be back around twelve, but if I know your friend, Kelly, I say
around one, maybe two." I chuckled softly to myself. She did have a habit
of staying out really late. Just as I started to think this, the phone
rang.

	"I got it." I said as I ran over and picked it up. "Hello, Inga's
whore house. Sven speaking." Kevin slapped the back of my head and I kicked
his shin.

	"Allo? Sven? Theese is Inga." I laughed as Kelly's bad swedish
accent came through the telephone. "I'm staying over with Brian
tonight. Put Kevin on the phone?" I laughed.

	"Well, fine bitch." I said with a laugh. "See if I want to talk to
you again." I handed the phone to Kevin. "Queen Bitch wants to talk to you,
and then her royal servant as well." I said knowing full well that Kelly
could hear me.

	"Yes your majesty?" Kevin's light southern accent made me shiver as
he spoke into the phone. I heard a chorus of `uh huh's' and `yeah sure' and
`no I don't mind' before he finally hung up. "You have an extra bedroom,
right?" I laughed and rolled my eyes.

	"I take it you, my man, are stuck here tonight, huh?" He nodded and
blushed. I couldn't help but laugh. "I take it the royalty expected us to
get along, and if we were killing each other by now, one of us would've
been dead already. Therefore, they left us alone to get us talking so I
wouldn't be home all the time and I'd actually have friends to hang out
with?" He laughed and nodded again.

	"I agree. They're scheming pricks." I nodded when he said that and
chuckled softly.

	"C'mon." I yawned. "Today's Saturday, so I don't have work
tomorrow. Any specific time you got to be up? And I can lend you some
clothes...and ..." I yawned again.

	"C'mon. Let's get you into bed." I grinned softly and dragged Kevin
upstairs.

	"In the morning, I'll get you some clothes so you can take a
shower. There's a new toothbrush underneath the sink in the bathroom. You
can use that one, we refill it everyday because..." I laughed and nudged my
chin toward the picture of Kelly, "Her many boyfriends." Kevin smiled at me
and nudged me. I almost fell over because I was rather tired.

	"Brian's her last." Kevin said with a grin.

	"What makes you say that?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

	"She told me." I laughed as he said this and pointed down the
hallway.

	"That door, on the left," He nodded, "is the spare bedroom." He
nodded again, "And that room," I pointed across the hall. "Is where I'll
be." He nodded again. I was beginning to think he lost his voice.

	"Goodnight." He said as he started to take off his shirt and walk
into the bedroom. I entered my humble, sparsely decorated room and
stripped. Shutting the door and saying `goodnight' once more, I went to
sleep on my bed.