Date: Tue, 1 Jan 2002 21:01:48 -0500
From: Carter <nicksxtacy@sympatico.ca>
Subject: One True Angel

Title: One True Angel
m/m/CELEBRITY/BOYBANDS
Author: Carter
E-Mail: nicksxtacy@sympatico.ca
Pairing: Nick Carter/Other

Warning: I do not know, nor have I ever known/met Nick Carter and thus I do
not mean to imply anything about his sexual orientation, or life in
general. All other characters are my own creation and are no one that you
know. This is simply a work coming from my imagination, and I'd expect it
to be taken as such. If you are in any way offended by homosexual romances
and/or sex, or if you are not of legal age to be reading this, please do
not continue.

Author's Note: Some of you may recognize me as the author of "Open Arms".
Just to let you know, this is not a part of Open Arms, but just a one time
(?) short story that I wrote, hope you enjoy it.... it's quite a bit
different from Open Arms but it's still about Nicky. So now without further
ado, I present you with "One True Angel"

-Carter (nicksxtacy@sympatico.ca)


The boy stared at himself at the mirror and let out a huge sigh. "Not
perfect, not perfect at all. Hell..not even close, but it's the best I can
do." He wasn't sure if he'd spoken out loud or just to himself but there
was no one around, and that's the way he wanted it. It wouldn't be very
long before the hotel room would be buzzing with people rushing back and
forth helping him prepare and making sure everyone and everything was set
for this evening's festivities. But for now, for this morning, he needed to
be alone, to reflect, to pull himself together before the big event. He
half laughed, half sighed once again as he struggled to decide for the
millionth time if he was doing the right thing. It wasn't the fact that the
world didn't approve, or that his parents didn't want to have any part of
it, no, he was concerned with his own emotional stability. It had been a
roller coaster ride to get here, and now he didn't know if he was ready to
get off the ride and settle into a more tame existence. The lows had been
pretty bad, nearly fatal even, while the highs had been amazing. "Yes" he
said to himself, "I am ready for this. The stability, the normalcy is what
I need, what I've longed for, so why would I push it away now?". He
straightened his tie for what must have been the hundredth time for the day
and thought of how easy it would be to just keep tightening it until the
life drained out of him as he'd longed to do so many times before, then
scolded himself for letting the thought into his mind.

Taking one last look in the mirror he turned and exited the bathroom and
headed into the main bedroom of the hotel suite. He stole a glance at the
clock silently counting down to the big moment as he walked over to the
stereo and pressed play. It had always been his security blanket. The way
some people's voices could ease his pain, his sorrow, his fear, and even
sometimes his loneliness amazed him. If it hadn't been for the music, life
would probably have taken a much different path and he for sure wouldn't
have been here today. The sounds of Mariah Carey's "Hero" filled the room
and took the man back to a place in his mind from years ago. He remembered
first hearing the song when he was in the sixth grade, he had only been
eleven at the time, but now, here he was, twenty years old and the song
still had as much meaning to him now as it had back then. He softly laughed
to himself as he thought back to those pre-pubescent years and the
innocence and confusion they had harboured. If only things had been that
simple all along.

It's a long road

When you face the world alone

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.

The haunting tune brought back memories both good and bad if his
adolescence and he allowed himself to drift into the thoughts and the
memories. It wasn't for long though as he was quickly awakened from his
daydream by a soft, but distinct knock at the hotel room door. He glanced
quickly back at the clock as he headed towards the door realising that he
had lost track of time.

You can find love, if you search within yourself

And that emptiness you felt will disappear

He didn't bother to ask who it was, the quickening pace of his heart told
him it would be one of only two people. He threw open the door and the men
on either side of the doorway just looked at each other for a moment taking
the sight in.

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on.

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive.

"You look." they both began at once and then they both paused to let the
other one speak.

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth,

That a hero lies in you.

"Beautiful." it was as if they had planned to say the words, yet it did not
seem off, or humorous to either man, everything just seemed right. For
Jamie although it was always a shock to hear anyone call him beautiful, and
he didn't quite believe it, it still seemed just right coming from Nick.

Nick walked into the hotel room, wrapping his arms around the younger man
and kicking the hotel door shut at the same time. "Nick! What are you
doing?" Even as the words left his mouth, he prayed that Nick would ignore
him and continue his assault. It felt so good, so right, yet he knew, for
this to happen, right now was so terribly wrong. Nick loosened his tight
hold of Jamie to allow them to look at each other. Nick pressed his
forehead to Jamie's; their noses just touching , their eyes staring deep
into the other's soul. Jamie gave into his urges and wrapped his arms
around Nick's waist, completing the embrace . Jamie's entire being was in
turmoil at how perfect this felt. All his life he had longed to feel
needed, to feel loved and more than anything to be loved by Nick
Carter. And he had come to terms with the fantasy, forcing himself to
realise that it was just that, a fantasy. And now here it was. In his arms,
Nick loving him, the way he had loved Nick for so long, yet he was
doubtful.

"Nick, it's.." before Jamie even knew what he was going to say next, Nick
stopped him, first with the look of pure lust he was showing, and then in
words.

"Jamie, please. I know what today is, I know we shouldn't, but I need you
to feel what I feel, and this is the only way to express it."

"What's the only way Nick? I don't understand"

"Oh Jamie." Nick didn't finish his thought, instead he slowly lowered his
lips to the other man's. Jamie had known this was coming and he resisted
the urge to fight it. He needed this, he deserved this, he couldn't
convince himself to stop it, even if he'd really wanted to.

The kiss was tender, yet the urgency of the moment had it's place as well,
as Jamie took on more of an aggressive role as he began to lightly nip at
Nick's lower lip, signalling for Nick to allow him in. The moments their
tongues touched it took them each back to the moment of their first
kiss. It had not been with each other, yet the feelings were quite
similar. The fear of the unknown, the pressure of pleasing the other, but
then the overwhelming sensations coursing through their bodies, causing
them to shudder as one. Kissing Nick tasted and felt exactly as Jamie had
expected, sweet and luscious, almost like biting into the season's first
strawberry.

Jamie felt Nick's hand at his neck, loosening the tie that had taken so
long to place perfectly. Within seconds, the tie found a place on the
floor, as Jamie gave in to temptation and ran his hands up under Nick's
sweatshirt. His fingers almost afraid to touch the skin, but desperate to
feel the heat beneath his fingertips. As he made contact with Nick's
stomach he felt Nick moan into their kiss, and then begin to slide the suit
jacket from Jamie's shoulders, allowing it to join the tie on the floor. As
the kiss continued for minutes, they slowly undressed each other, swaying
to the music, their lips never separating but for a few seconds to allow
Nick's sweatshirt to be lifted over his head. The kiss was then broken so
they could each take in the sight of the other's body. Feeling incomplete
not having his lips locked with Jamie's, Nick grabbed the other man's hands
and let him to the bed, lowering Jamie onto the soft satin sheets and then
walking over to the stereo. After a few short seconds of deliberation, Nick
had chosen a CD and once again music filled the room as Nick walked back to
the bed, knowing this was going to be a memory, a moment, to last a
lifetime, and he was going to make sure it was special. Jamie smiled at
Nick's selection of music as he recognised the song by Lifehouse.

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

Closer to where I started, Chasing after you

Nick lay down next to Jamie and lightly ran his fingers over the other
man's lips, eliciting a moan from Jamie. There was no mistaking how badly
each man wanted to feel completed by the other. Nick climbed on top of
Jamie; each man loving the contact. Nick brought his lips to the younger
man's neck and began a new assault.

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

Jamie brought his left hand to rest on Nick's head, his fingers toying with
the silky soft blonde hair that he loved so much, while his right hand
found his way to Nick's butt, caressing the skin and causing Nick to
lightly bite Jamie's neck in response.

"I need you Nick."

"I'm here Jamie, take me." Nick crawled back up so he was at eyelevel with
the other man. The words that went unsaid, yet were conveyed by looking
into each other's eyes outweighed the actual spoken words by volumes.

"No, Nick, I want you to make love to me." before he heard Nick's response,
Jamie knew what the words would be, so he continued, "I'm sure baby. I'm
sure."

Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation, you take all of me.


I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you.



Nick took his time, and was as gentle as could be. There were to be no
regrets, and he didn't want to hurt Jamie at all.

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go.

I don't know what I'm diving into

I'm hanging by a moment here with you..

They made love, slowly and deliberately, their fingers intertwined,
foreheads resting against one another's and eyes never leaving each
other's. Nick's love filled Jamie both metaphorically and physically. When
Nick reached his climax he pressed his lips once again to his lovers',
causing Jamie to release between their bodies as well.

There is nothing else to lose,

There is nothing else to find

There is nothing in the world that could change my mind

There is nothing else..

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

Hanging by a moment here with you..

As they both came down from their soaring highs, Nick completed the
experience by giving Jamie one last mind-blowing kiss. As he got up off the
bed and began to get dressed, he took an envelope from his pants pocket and
handed it to Jamie.

"You have to promise me that you won't read it until after the ceremony."

Jaime was confused, but also too worn out to argue. He watched Nick quietly
leave the room, knowing that they'd see each other in just a few
hours. Jaime got up from bed, retrieved the suit jacket from the floor and
placed the envelope in the inside pocket, feeling, at the same time to make
sure the ring hadn't fallen from the pocket as he headed into the bathroom
to have another shower and get dressed again.


Just a few hours later, Jamie stole a glance at Nick as they shared a look
and a smile. Despite the joyous occasion, a few lone tears slipped from
both men's eyes as Jamie was directed by the priest to place the ring on
his groom's finger. There were few dry eyes in the chapel as the assembly
of friends who had gathered to witness the marriage of two men destined to
be together took in the scene and it's perfection. They were always so
happy together, and it was obvious to anyone just how perfect they were for
one another. Jamie stared at the man he was marrying. The perfect way his
hair looked, whether he had just woken up, or had worked on it for
hours. The way his skin seemed to glow and radiate an energy that filled
Jamie's heart with joy. And of course, his heart of gold, which never
ceased to make Jamie fall deeper in love with him with each passing day.

Jamie let out a quiet sigh, as he realised that he was doing the right
thing. From the moment he met this man, he knew he would spend the rest of
his life with him, beside him, behind him, wherever need be. They were
complimentary to each other in every way and it was as if the heavens had
reached down and guided them together. As Jamie heard his groom complete
his vows, Jaime made eye contact with Nick one last time and felt a slight
pang of pain, before turning his attention back to the priest .

"Do you Jamie, take Silvio to be your lawfully wedded husband from now and
for all of eternity?"

"I do."

The crowd cheered as the ceremony ended and Silvio was allowed to kiss
Jamie. As the newly wed couple linked hands and walked back down the aisle
they were showered with cries of support from their loved ones. The entire
scene, and wedding had been perfect. As the ecstatic couple passed Nick,
Jamie could make out the words Nick was mouthing to him, and he knew he had
to read the contents of the envelope as soon as possible.

As the newlywed couple sat together in their limo, Silvio grabbed the
awaiting bottle of champagne and began to struggle with the cork. While
Silvio was fighting with the champagne bottle, Jamie took the time to open
the envelope and read the simple handwritten note that was found inside.

Dearest Jamie,

You made the right choice. I wish you all the best, and all the happiness
in the world, and I just want to say, Thank you. Fr loving me for so long
and so strongly. Though I didn't know it for years, you have always been my
number one fan, and the one person to love me truly and honestly. I just
wish I had been able to realise it sooner, but now I'm blessed to at least
have you in my life as a friend. Thank you for loving me and know that I
will always love you more than that.

I'll always be your one true angel,

Nick Carter

The end.

Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated

Carter, nicksxtacy@sympatico.ca