Date: Thu, 5 Jan 2006 13:30:01 +0000
From: Mike Rich <gridlinked@gmail.com>
Subject: Paranoia Chapter 8

Disclaimer: 

The following story contains sexual content and deals with homosexual
relationships. 
It is not for people under the legal age.
If you are offended by the contents of this story, or it is illegal in your
location to view this type of material, leave now.
This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true
sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about
their private lives. 

Any comments can be send to gridlinked@gmail.com

I would like to thank Rich, for making me plunge deeper in the life of
Andrew Archer.


Chapter 8


They were all tired after a few hours. There wasn't much more to go until
they reached Orlando, but they were tired enough. The journey so far had
been a calm one and now they were all in a small room on the bus, watching
TV. Ben was having the least trouble with the trip, he was happy as long as
someone, namely Brian, was playing with him. Andrew was bothered by
something. He didn't know what it was, but he felt uncomfortable.  He had
been watching the scenery go by, out of the window, the trees, looking
almost shapeless because of how fast they were going, the small elevations
on the ground he saw from afar, and then the night sky. The stars weren't
showing themselves tonight, even the moon had decided to take a day off.
And so Andrew felt uncomfortable. He looked at Alicia who was happily in
the middle of a conversation with Howie, then he turned to his son, playing
with Brian who seemed to never tire from the childish games.  He got lost
in his thoughts again, thinking of Sarah, thinking of how he never did get
a chance to say a few words before she died. He remembered the last thing
he said to his sister, "OK don't move, just stay there."  'Far from
poetic', he thought.  But life really didn't seem like poetry, not that he
wanted it too, poetry was almost always dramatic in some kind of way, and
drama was something he was tired of already.  No, life wasn't fair. He felt
himself sink lower in his seat near the window as the bus kept going
onward.  Life wasn't fair, and it went by too quickly... or maybe not
quickly enough.

He stood up silently earning a look from Kevin who seemed worried. Andrew
just brushed it off and walked to the far door on the back to the last
room. Inside he sat on one of the beds and sighed.  He didn't know why he
was feeling like this, neurotic and uncomfortable, but he just couldn't
help himself.

'This is perfect, I'm really starting to think that someone up there is
toying with me, i mean i was fine a moment ago, now I'm feeling like crap,
so if there is no rational explanation, i must assume that some higher
power is doing this to me, toying with my emotions, and i don't know why. I
thought we had covered this Buddha, you work for me OK? There is just so
much i can take, and right now i cant take too much. I mean i feel like i
should be enjoying the trip but I'm not, so if there is no good reason for
making me feel this way i suggest that you stop it right now before i come
up there and kick your fat ass.'

A small bump on the road at that moment made him fall backwards on the bed.

"So much for non violence Buddha." He said aloud.

"Still talking to Buddha?" He turned to see Kevin standing there on the
doorway looking worried.

"Just catching up, do you need something?"

Kevin was thrown by Andrew's indifferent tone, "Well, i thought i would
check on you, see how you were, you didn't seem very good out there."

"Well, how nice of you to stare at me long enough to catch that." Andrew
said looking at the window.

"OK, i see how you are, why don't we just talk when you're in a better mood
hum?" Kevin said in a cold voice.

"You do that!" was all Andrew responded, and then he heard Kevin getting
out of the room.

He stayed like that, looking out the window for a few minutes. He was
worried about himself now. Why had he been so arrogant to the guy he liked?
Why was he being arrogant at all?  He felt something grab his pants and
yanking hard. He looked down to see Ben grinning at him.

"Ben, not now!" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them,
and what most shocked him was the tone he had said them in. Immediately he
cursed himself and saw his son just looking at him not saying anything.  He
dropped from the bed to the floor and hugged Ben all he could.  The tears
came then, he couldn't stop them, he had said no to his son for the first
time, and it had been for a horrible reason, he was scared.  He knew then.
He was scared of his future.  Ben just giggled and hugged his father around
the neck wile Andrew kept crying.  The tears wouldn't stop, he just
couldn't stop them.

He heard the door open and looked up to see Alicia standing
there. Immediately she started for her boys, until Andrew stretched his
arm, still holding Ben with the other, and with the palm of his hand,
motioned her to stop.

"Andy what..." She started.

"Please Ally, just leave OK? Please." Andrew managed to say between sobs.

"Are you sure, you don't seem to..."

"Ally! Please just go, i need to be alone for a few moments."

He heard her breath for a few moments before she turned and left. He was
alone again with his son, the most important thing in the world to him. His
world. Ben seemed to not tire from hugging his father because his grip on
Andrew's neck didn't relent a bit.  He forced Ben to let go eventualy and
kissed him on the top of the head. His son just giggled and said "Daddy."
After a few more minutes he started to get up and put Ben on the bed. As he
was preparing to pick him up again and go back to the other room to face
what he assumed would be a very angry Kevin, his cellphone rang.

'If its you, Buddha, you'll have a lot to apologize for.'

"Hello, Andrew Archer here." for few seconds he didn't hear any response
from the other end of the line, he was prepared to hang up and call Buddha
a coward when someone finally spoke.

"I want my son!"

"Sven?"




Alicia closed the door and looked at Kevin who was just looking out the
window.

"Everything OK with him?" Howie asked.

"I don't know... he was crying." Alicia said calmly as she saw Kevin
immediately turn to face her with a interrogative look. "I don't know
why. But he's with Ben, and if there is anyone that can make him better is
Ben."

All of them stood quiet after that. You could see that Kevin was restless
now that he knew that maybe something, other than bad temper, was really
going on with his Andrew.  Brian who had lost his play mate, turned to
share A.J.s, so both band members just took turns in trying to make Niko
look at them.

A few moments passed and they heard Andrew open the door. Kevin immediately
looked at his man, and stood up to reach him. Andrew just brushed him aside
and tuned to A.J..

"We need to talk."

Alicia was the first to react. After reaching for her son who was piggyback
riding her ex husband, she starred at him. She knew something was
definitely wrong now, Andrew rarely used that tone.

"What... what is it?" asked A.J. still a bit phased by the tone of his new
friend's voice.

"Sven." was all Andrew needed to say, and A.J.s face turned to one of
recognition in hearing the name of the biological father of his son.

"What do you mean? Did he call?" Alicia asked.

"Yes, he did, and apparently he wants his son back."

Kevin sat down before he looked at A.J. The singer was getting upset fast,
already a tear was coming down his face. Brian was the closest to him, and
so he reached out to hug his friend.

"Alex" tried Andrew "Alex look at me." A.J. did "We can fight him, OK? The
law is on our side, I'll talk to Rick and I'll ask him to talk to Will, his
boyfriend, he's a lawyer, so he will know what we can expect. OK?"

"Hum... Andrew?" Alicia started .

"What is it?"

"I don't think asking Rick to talk to Will is a good idea." She said wile
she avoided her ex husbands eyes.

"Why not? Its not like i am going to ask for Rick back." As he said it he
heard Kevin grunt.

"No, i know, its just that, well... its complicated." Alicia said stalling.

Andrew looked down at A.J. who was holding Niko on the ground wile Brian
hugged him. He then looked back at Alicia who still hadn't made eye
contact. "Ally, could i talk to you for a moment?" Without waiting for a
response he walked back to the room on the far back.  When Alicia got in
she closed the door behind her.

"OK, so lets talk... what are you hiding Ally? This is not like you."
Andrew said looking at his ex wife.

"Its just that" she hesitated "its something personal about Ricks life and
i don't know if i should be the one to tell you."

"Well your gonna so just spill it."

"OK, look, Rick broke up with Will."

"He what?" Andrew couldn't believe it, the man he had loved more than
anything was single.

"Broke up with Will yes, but he didnt want you to find out i guess, look i
just think it would be asking a lot of Rick, to talk to his ex boyfriend,
being that we don't know in what grounds they broke up." she explained.

Andrew just looked at her and sloly sat on the bed. Rick was single, he
couldn't believe it.

'Now what?'

"Andrew?" He heard Alicia talking to him.

"Yes..." he started after a moment "yes you're right it would be asking a
lot, can any of the lawyers at your firm take care of it?"

"I'll talk to them tomorrow, I'll call the foundation."

"Thanks Ally."

"Its not a problem, you know that." she said with a smile.

"Wait" Andrew said suddenly "When did Rick tell you he had broken up?"

Alicia immediately got nervous "Hum... yesterday actually."

"Yesterday? Over the loud music?"

"No, actually he..." she couldn't lie, she could hide, but she couldn't lie
"he came to my house later."

"Oh... can i ask why?" Andrew was getting the feeling he was better off not
knowing.

"Andrew, i don't want to lie to you, and i really shouldn't be telling you
any of this." She was getting out of options.

"Tell me Ally, why?" he insisted.

Alicia realized, there was no use. "He came because he was upset."

"About?" Andrew pressed.

"What do you think Andrew? His life, the break up with Will, the fact that
you moved on, everything."

Andrew just looked at her. 'He still wants me.' He knew her too well, she
was still keeping something from him.  "What is it Ally?"

She knew he would find out eventually, and she also knew he could read her
just as well as she could read him.  "Andrew, don't get upset but, we were
talking and he started crying and things got a little..." she trailed off,
but Andrew already had the guidelines, now he could read her like a book.

"OH NO! YOU DIDN'T." He couldn't believe it. "OH MY GOD ALLY!"

"I'm so sorry Andy, i am, i don't know what happened, i woke up with a
start afterwards and then i saw him there and i just panicked."

"I cant believe this. You and Rick?"

"Andy please calm down, OK? It was just what it was and nothing more,
please understand, neither one of us would intentionally hurt you." she
said desperate to make him understand.

Andrew knew she was right, and looking at his best friend's face he
couldn't be mad... at her.  He reached for her and gently hugged the woman
rubbing her back with his hand. "Its OK, it doesn't matter."

"I'm so sorry Andy..." she said quietly.

"Its OK, forget it, what matters is that i know that you would never hurt
me. Its OK." He looked at her and smiled. "So tomorrow you'll call the
lawyers right?" he said wanting to change subjects.

"Yeah, yeah i will." She responded trying to calm down.

"OK then honey, go back to Ben i just need a moment."

"Are you sure you're alright." she asked reluctant on leaving him.

"Yes, yes" he said smiling at her, "I'm fine OK, I'll be there in just a
minute."

"OK then." With one last look at him, she left, once again closing the door
behind her.

As soon as she was out of the room he was dialing the number.  He heard it
ring a few times, and then he heard him pick up.  Andrew didn't even let
him speak. "You know" he started as fast as he could "for a friend, you
suck."  And then he hung up. He put the phone back in his pocket and
reached for the door.




On the other side of the phone line, Rick started crying.




They reached Kevin's house first, the bus got in through the gates and left
them at the front door. Andrew said his goodbyes to everyone except Alicia
who would be staying at Kevin's with him. When he hugged A.J.  goodbye he
reassured him that all would be fine.  Together the 3 of them, Kevin,
Andrew and Alicia, plus Ben, got inside wile the bus made its way to drop
off the other singers. From what Andrew understood, Howie would be staying
with A.J. to help the man with Niko.  Andrew saw Kevin opening the door and
motioning them in. He let Alicia go in first and then he followed.  Ben was
asleep in his mother's arms, and truth be told they were all tired enough.

"OK, well i think you guys might want to sleep, we can take the tour
tomorrow, just follow me." Kevin said as started going up a flight of
stairs near the entry hall. Andrew was a bit concerned about how Kevin was
talking to them, the tone felt almost indifferent.  The host showed them
their rooms. Alicia would be staying with Ben in the room next to Kevin's,
and Andrew would be staying in the room at the end of the hall.

He wanted to say goodbye to his man, but somehow he knew that at least at
that moment, from the look Kevin was giving him, he wasn't his man.  Andrew
went to his room after saying goodnight to Alicia and kissing his son on
the cheek.  He looked around to see a beautiful decorated room. The four
post bed in the middle was big enough for 3 people.  The walls were painted
in a light green, and there was a big window, floor to ceiling, like he
liked them, that gave him a view of, what he was sure was, a lake.  He went
to his bathroom to watch his face and brush his teeth. The look the man in
the mirror gave him, made Andrew think, for a minute, that maybe it wasn't
his reflection. He was tired. And now he knew, he was scared.

He got out of the bathroom and looked at the bed once again, it seemed so
inviting. 'Just a few more steps.'  He told himself.  But after the first
one, he looked to the right and out the window. He noticed that the moon
had decided to show herself after all. Without realizing it, he turned and
walked over to the window. With one hand, he reached for the glass and
caressed the night.  Slowly a tear freed it self from his eye, and started
making its way down his cheek. It wasn't until the tear reached his neck,
that he fell down on his knees.  It was all catching up to him.  The
restaurant, Nick running, Sarah dying, the disappointment of his brother,
Rick's betrayal, Sarah dying, Sven returning, Kevin's cold demeanor, Sarah
dying...  And still not realizing it, he curled himself on the floor and
being bathed by the moonlight, he cried himself to sleep. The last thought
on his mind was the realization that, he did in fact, love Kevin.



OK this is it for now, the next one should be posted this week.

Any comments can be send to gridlinked@gmail.com

All the best

Mike