Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2000 11:30:15 -0800 (PST)
From: Wesley Cook <wesleym2@yahoo.com>
Subject: Past Reflection's 2

Author's note: Hi all, this is Wes , I have come up to a writer's block on
To Love NSYNC so I have put that story on hold for a while. Also I have an
editor, the author of NSYNC Love, you guys know him as ZEO or Mano. Also he
is graciously helping me on the story. I want to let you know too that
there are some very good stories out on NIFTY so read them. They are too
many for me to name. Also I love to get e-mail. Good or bad I like to get
it. I will respond to all as fast as I can. So please let me know what you
think of this story.

Legal stuff: Okay you know the drill if you aren't old enough to read this
then don't. Also this is not to say that any of the BSB are gay or Bi. (But
we can wish huh. Hehehe). So now on with the story.

Oh by the way you can e-mail me at wesleym2@yahoo.com so now on with the
show.

Past Reflection's 2

"Hi Brian, yes Kevin is still here.... No he is asleep... Okay I'll see if
he wants to go and if he don't then I'll make him... okay Brian good bye."
Well I guess now I need to get Kevin up and get him to rehearsals. I got up
and went into the bed room where Kevin was still asleep. I walked over to
the bed and gently woke him up.

"Kevin... you need to wake up now."

"Don't want to." He said in a child like manner. I just smiled. I leaned
down and kissed him on the lips and he woke up. "That was nice." He sat up
and took me in his arms.

"Kevin you have to get ready and go to rehearsals. The guys are waiting on
you."

"Oh shit I forgot... sorry babe."

"That's okay." I was glad he had forgotten that he quit the group. I got up
and got some clothes that was brought by this morning by A.J. Kevin went
and took a shower and got dressed. I was in the kitchen fixing Kevin a
plate of food when I heard some one at the door. "I'm coming." I yelled. I
got to the door and opened it and there stood two men dressed up in gray
suits. "Can I help up two gentlemen?"

"Maybe, are you Mark Cook?"

"Yes, I am." I said.

"Well Mr. Cook we are here to inform you that a restraining order has been
place on you and the BSB. You are not allowed with in a hundred feet of
them. You are not allowed to go to any concert or any event in which the
Backstreet Boys are at." They gave me a sheet of paper that was signed by a
judge and all.

"Who are you guys?" They didn't answer Kevin did.

"They are Jives lawyers for us." I could tell that he was more than a
little pissed "Who requested this gentlemen?" Kevin asked.

"I can not say in front of Mr. Cook Mr. Richardson." One of the men said. I
turned and went back into the kitchen. I had tears running down my face. I
was hurt I didn't do anything to them so why, why did they do this. About
ten minutes later Kevin came to the kitchen. I was sitting on a stool
staring out the window.

"Mark..." I just ignored him. That hurt worse but I had to do that. "Mark,
it was Howie and Brian. They did this to you. Also I was told that if I did
quit the BSB I would be in breech of contract and all of the guys would
suffer." He was crying and I knew it. I refused to go to him. But he came
to me. At his touch I just held on to him.

"Kevin you need to go. Eventually you will forget about me and continue
with your life."  I hushed once more and stared out the window. Wishing I
had died at the car crash so I would never have had to go through this. But
Kevin never let go. He picked me up and carried me to the car. He grabbed
my keys off of the wall and headed to where ever. I stayed quiet the whole
time. Kevin kept a hand on my knee the whole time. That helped a lot. I
didn't know where we were going until I saw the guys busses. Kevin had
brought me with him to the rehearsal.

"Mark I don't care what they say I'm not letting you go." Kevin said with
love and kindness in his voice. I saw two guards come up to the car as we
got out. They stopped me from walking with Kevin.

"I'm sorry sir you are not allowed in there." Kevin saw and heard this.

"Move or you will be looking for a new job, I invited him to come and if he
is not allowed to go in then I won't go in." The two guards moved aside and
let us through.  Kevin was first to go in. I just followed him. When we got
in to the studio everyone was happy to see him. They hadn't seen me as of
yet. Kevin waved to them and then turned to me. "How about you sit right
here and watch us." When Kevin turned Brian and the other guys saw me.

"What the fuck... SECURITY!!!" Brian yelled. About five guards showed up as
soon as he said that. "That guy is not allowed here he even has a
restraining order please remove him." Kevin then put his hand up and in a
motion to stop them.

"If you lay one finger on him you all will be finding a new job." Brian and
Howie stayed in the back ground. A.J. and Nick walked up to us and gave
both me and Kevin a hug.  When they stepped aside Kevin walked up to Howie
since he was in front of Brian. I saw Kevin pull his fist back and before I
could stop him he had decked Howie. I looked over at Brian and his color
had faded as Kevin walked over to him. Before He could hit Brian I grabbed
him and spun him around so that he was facing me. I leaned up and kissed
him.  All of his anger just vanished with that kiss. He pulled me in tight
as passion took over.  We finally broke and I saw Howie standing with Brian
being chewed out by A.J. and Nick. "Wow" was all Kevin could say. After a
big discussion the restraining order was disolved and the guys went on with
their rehearsals. I continued to get the cold shoulder from Brian and
Howie, but I didn't care. I just sat down and watched them practice.

**Two Hours Later**

"Time to go and freshen up and get on the bus for the trip to New York."
Kevin said.  Every one left and went their own ways. Once Kevin and I got
home he got in the shower, I sat down on the couch and started thinking
about the relationship that was forming. Should I go on tour with them, or
what.

"Babe what are you thinking about?" I jumped but settled back down.

"Trying to decide if I should go with you or not." I said.

"I want you with me babe, I don't think I could go with out you there."

"I know babe but I don't want Brian and Howie getting pissed and all."

"Don't worry about that babe, I want you there with me." He said with tears
forming in his eyes.

"Okay but let me wait till you have started the tour and see if you can
find a job for me on the tour. And let me know the hotel you will be
staying at so I can get a room there."  He nodded knowing that I was gonna
be there. I planned on it to but it would be a few days if not longer. It
all depended on how long it would take me to get everything set.  Kevin
stood and pulled me up for a kiss.

"I love you Kevin." It was the first time I had said that and that gave
Kevin more energy and passion.

	That night we slept together. I was trying to figure out if I was
strong enough to do this. But I would learn that in a dream.

**Dream**

	I was walking along a beach. The sun was up and the birds were
singing. It was very beautiful. I was happy. As I was walking I saw a man
standing ahead of me. He seemed like he was waiting on me. As I got closer
I saw it was Jason. I ran the rest of the way to him. Before I could touch
him he stopped me.

"No Mark you can not touch me. I have only a short time so please wait till
I'm done with what I have to say. Now, you are on the right track with
Kevin, but if you don't leave with him you may lose him. He doesn't show it
but he is unsure if you and him will last. Mark it is you that is doing
that. Your afraid to love again. If you don't let love enter your heart you
will become cold and never love again. You can wait up to three days before
you leave to be with him but after that I can't say. Also be wary of Howie,
Brian has accepted you but Howie hasn't. Also be careful around his parents
and relatives.  They may not take it very well. Know that I love you but
your true love is waiting for you. My time is up I have to go please don't
let him slip through your fingers." And he was gone. I woke up in a jolt
which woke Kevin.

"What's wrong babe?" He asked.

"I'm going with you, I will need to get some things rounded up but when you
leave tomorrow I am to." I looked at him and he had this smile on his
face. He kissed me and we went back to sleep. The radio was on and the song
This I Promise You came on.

The visions around you
Brings tears to your eyes
And all that surrounds you
Are secrets and lies.
I'll be your strength.
I'll be your hope,
Keeping your faith when its gone.
The one you should call
I'm standing here all alone.

I will take you in my arms,
And hold you right where you belong,
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you,
This I promise you

I've loved you forever
In lifetimes before.
And I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore.

I give you my word.
I give you my heart.
This is a battle we've won.
And by this vow
Forever has now begun

Just close your eyes
Each lovin' day
And I know this feeling won't go away
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you.
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
This I promise you

	Over and over I fall
When I hear you call
Without you in my life, baby
I just wouldn't be living at all

I will take you in my arms,
And hold you right where you belong,
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you,
This I promise you, baby

Just close your eyes
Each lovin' day
And I know this feeling won't go away
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you.
Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Oooh, I promise you

	I was still unsure of how Howie would react with me there. The next
place I called was the bank. I had make sure I had what I was told I had
which was around $175 million dollars. I have as yet to tell the guys and
especially Kevin but I need to tell him at least. I then called Jive the
boys label.

"Hello, my name is Mark Cook, can I speak with David please... thank you."

"Yes this is David,"

"David, this is Mark Cook, I have a question for you"

"Okay I will see if I can answer it for you."

"Well I would like to go on tour with the guys I will pay my own way, and
in fact I can sponsor the tour if you want."

"Whoa slow down what do you mean sponsor the trip, I doubt you have enough
money for that." I heard him say with a laugh.

"Well I have in the bank several million so tell me how much it would cost
and I will have the bank wire the money to you at Jive."

"Well if you insist I say just donate $100,000 to us and you have a deal."
He said laughing fairly hard by now.

"Okay please hold... Hello, can I speak to Daniel please."

"This is Daniel"

"Hey this is Mark can you wire $100,000 to Jive right now?"

"Sure can you get me the info. I need from Jive?"

"Yeah hold for a moment... David can you give the transit numbers for the
wire transfer."

"Okay it's xxxxxxxxxxx (sorry can't disclose that kind of info.)"

"Thanks... David it's xxxxxxxxxxx you got that."

"Yeah it will be a few minutes."

"Okay." I waited for a few minutes and Daniel returned to the phone.

"It's done Mark, Thanks for you business." And he hung up.

"David check your account."

"Oh SHIT you weren't lying, well you are on the tour and you can travel
with the boys on their bus if you want it's your tour but remember that we
at Jive still control all financial arrangements. Thank you." And he hung
up. I hung up the phone and when I did I heard Kevin move up behind me.

"What did David want?"

"Oh I called him, I'm sponsoring your tour." I heard him gasp.

"How did you get that kind of money." Apparently he had forgotten what was
said when we first met.

"Don't worry babe we need to go now." We both got dressed and headed to
meet up with the guys. I packed light because I would just buy the stuff I
need when I needed it.

	When we arrived the guys with the exception of Howie was happy to
see me. I knew it would be a while but I hoped things would work out.

"Okay guys listen up, Mark has a few things to say but first we need to be
on the way. So get ready to listen." Kevin said in authority. Everyone
including the manager sat down and Kevin let the driver know that we were
ready.

"Okay, now I am going on this tour with you guys" I stopped and waited for
someone to say something. The Road Manager was the first to speak.

"What do you mean, you can just decide to get on the tour with the
boys. You have to be cleared by management, and all, then you have..."

"Shut up Steve!" Kevin said.

"As I said I am on this tour because I am sponsoring it. Also I do not plan
on explaining my actions to you. During this tour. Basically I'm your Boss
but I won't let that happen. I am here for one thing and one thing only and
that is to get my life going again. I was invited to go by Kevin. Now any
questions?" Again Steve decided to speak up.

"What you don't have the money, I'm calling Jive..." With that he called
Jive and they gave him the low down. After ward he was quiet.

"If there aren't anymore question's I'm going go to sleep. Kevin would like
to show me where I can sleep?" I asked with a smile. He stood up and showed
me his bunk. I crawled in and he did too. Soon we were asleep.

**In the back of the bus**

"Guys, I don't like this, Mark the sponsor of the tour what kind of shit is
that?" Howie just bursts out almost yelling. The road manager then speaks.

"Yeah, what's up with that. And being on the bus with you all. What would
happen if the media found out about him and Kevin sharing a bunk. This
could really hurt you guys."

"I don't care, I think that Mark would be a good addition to the tour and
on this bus." A.J.  says. Nick agrees. But Brian just stays quiet.

"B-rok what do you think?" Howie asks hoping that Brian would side with
them.

"I... I don't know. Yes the media will play a big role in this but also if
Mark leaves so will Kevin." Brian falls quiet for a few minutes. `What do I
do? We can't afford bad publicity right now or at anytime for that
matter. Maybe if...' "I agree with Howie."  Brian finally says. Of course
both Nick and A.J. are pissed off and storm off to the front of the
bus. "Guys I got a plan to separate Mark and my cousin so listen..." and
Brian begins to tell Howie and the road manager his plan. But what they
don't realize is A.J. is in his bunk and hears everything. `But what can I
do?' A.J. thinks. His thinking is interrupted by the voice of Kevin calling
every one to the front of the bus.

"Okay guys it's time to get things situated for our arrival in New York."
Everyone comes up to the front of the bus for a meeting. They all sit
down. Only one is not in the group.  Mark.

"Kevin where is Mark shouldn't he be here too since he is the sponsor?"
Howie spits out.

"Mark is not needed because what we are discussing is the appearance on
MTV's TRL.  Carson is out and we are filling in for him. So lets get down
to business." With that they begin the discussion on their appearance on
TRL. Which lasts for about two hours. When the meeting is over I am up and
in the back watching tv. Nick was the first one back to where I was.

"Hey Nick..." I say which scares Nick. He jumps to the side with a look of
horror on his face.

"Oh shit... Mark you scared the shit out of me." I was laughing now. Not
because I scared Nick but apparently he had too much to drink because his
pants were wet. "What are you laughing at asshole." I point to his pants,
he looks down and turns very red. He makes his way to his bunk to get some
clothes and then goes to the bathroom to change.

"Babe what was all the commotion about?" Kevin asks after he kisses me. And
I tell him.  By now every one has heard me tell the story and is laughing
hard. Nick comes out of the bathroom with an angered look on his face, but
that soon disappears and he begins to laugh.

**TRL**

"Hi all welcome to today's TRL, Carson Daly is out today so the Backstreet
Boys are here to save the day." A.J. says as TRL begins.

"Let's go ahead and start with our number 10 video it is Kid Rock's Only
God Knows Why." Nick says. The video comes on and the boys answer a few
questions from the studio audience. Brian begins to speak.

"Well that was our number ten video. Let's take a question from the people
here in the studio. Hi what's your name and question?"

"Hi I love you guys..." A teen girl says.

"We love you too." Brian says.

"I'm Kathy, I'm from New York and my question is are you guys seeing anyone
now?"

"Good question, well I'm single at the moment." Brian says.

"I'm seeing no one right now." A.J., Nick, and Howie say.

"I am dating someone at this time sorry girls I'm taken." There was a round
of sighs and groans from the audience.

"Okay the video in the number two spot is Show Me The Meaning Of Being
Lonely, what's up with that ya'll anyway here it is." Kevin says which gets
a few laughs. The video ends and it is time for the number one song of the
day on TRL.

"Now this next video got 25% of your phone calls and 45% of your e-mails it
is Bye, Bye, Bye by NSYNC" Nick announces.

	The guys are done and they sign a few autographs and then head to
the bus to be taken to a hotel. I was already at the hotel ironing every
thing out and getting the keys to the guys rooms. I was sitting in the
lobby with one of the guys security guards as the guys bus pulls up. There
are hundreds of teens out there. The guys rush through the crowd and into
the hotel.

"Hey guys, okay here are the keys to your rooms Brian you and Nick are
sharing a room, A.J. and Howie.." Before I could say the last pair the road
manager grabs my key to mine and Kevin's room.

"Me and Kevin will be sharing a room." Before I could protest he was on his
way to the elevator. I had one key left which I guess would be my room. I
was pissed but I kept my cool. We all got settled into our rooms and met
then we met in my room for a meeting.

"Okay guys, we have the rest of the day off. Then tomorrow we have
rehearsals and an autograph signing at the Virgin Mega-Store." Kevin
says. "Then the next day is our concert, but during the day we have
rehearsals, sound check and meet `n greet. Any questions?" no one did so he
went on to the next subject, me and him and what happened down stairs. What
the guys didn't know was David from Jive was here. Everything that happened
downstairs was reported to him. "Now Steve, what you did down stairs was
not called for. And David would like to address that issue." There were
several gasps from the group as David walked in not very happy.

"Okay guys lets get this straight right now. Mark is your sponsor for this
tour, which means he is paying your paycheck so to speak Steve. So you have
to listen to him. Also his and Kevin's relationship has been approved by
Jive. As long as there is no PDA. If I hear of any more disrespect to him
there will be hell to pay. If you have any questions please feel free to
ask me but later not now. Also Steve you know company policy road managers
are not allowed to sleep in the same room as the artist. So you will have a
room by your self. Kevin you can move down here or you can make Steve work
it's your choice. But for now I'm out of here. Bye." Steve was pissed but
he wouldn't buck David or Kevin. Kevin just decided to move his stuff since
it would be the easiest. The guys decided to go out but me and Kevin stayed
in and get some sleep.

	About two hours later both of us were awakened by a knock at the
door. I got up to answer it. It was A.J.

"Guys we need to talk for a minute."

"Okay, what is it A.J.?" Kevin asks. With that A.J. tells us of the plan
Howie, Brian and Steve has for them. Kevin is pissed as well as me but this
had to be taken care of gently.

"Kevin calm down, I have a plan that will cause their plan to back fire..."
With that I told them my plan. And what a plan was it. When I finished we
were all laughing. I looked at the clock and it showed 1:00 am. "A.J. could
you leave it is quite late for me and I would like to get some sleep."
A.J. faked a look of hurt.

"But Mark, don't you love me?" He said with a puppy face.

"Yes A.J. I do but if you don't get your ass out of here your gonna have to
get my foot surgically removed from your ass." I was laughing as I said
that he looked surprised but then began to laugh himself. He knew I
wouldn't do that.

"Okay Mark you win I'll go, I have to get my beauty sleep any way."

"Well then you need to sleep for a year to get pretty then." I just the
finger from A.J.  "Sorry only do that with my man." We all just
laughed. A.J. left and Kevin closed the door. But before he came to bed he
put on a CD and pressed play. I heard the music to Savage Garden's Truly,
Madly, Deeply come on.

I'll be your dream,
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope,
I'll be your love be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
 'cause I'm counting on

A new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.

I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Till the sky falls down on me...

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty.
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of..
The highest powers. In lonely hours. The tears devour you..

I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...

Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'cause it's standing right here before you.
All that you need will surely come...

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do...

I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...

As the song faded we were asleep. Peacefully.

TBC...