Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 21:19:33 -0700 (PDT) From: Wesley Cook <wesleym2@yahoo.com> Subject: Past Reflections 7 Authors Note: Hey guys and gals, Sorry for this being late. I'm going to keep this short. Thanks to Rod H. for the help and inspiration you have given me. JM I'm gonna miss ya if you leave Nifty. And all those who have sent email's thanks and if you didn't get a reply I'm sorry but the mail must have been lost so please try again. I wanna thank the BSB and NSYNC for the inspiration and for there music. Also I have only three songs in this installment. Thanks for the fans who read this 'cause if weren't for you guys then where would I be. Legal Stuff: You know the rules. This is just a fantsy and it does not reflect the sexuality of any of the BSB or NSYNC. You can send me e-mails at wesleym2@yahoo.com I love to get them so send'em. And now. Past Reflections 7 **Prievously** It has been six months since the crash and I am doing great. I haven't been back on a plane but that is a touchy subject. We were at home relaxing. The tour had been called off because of the crash and my problem for three months and also Kevin threatened to leave the BSB if they didn't. He wasn't the only one. All the guys threatened to breakup if they didn't get some time to rest. The guys were in the pool playing around. NSYNC was here too. I was just smiling and resting when Justin came over to me to talk. "Umm Mark can I talk to you?" "Sure Justin, what's on your mind." "Well you know I'm gay right?" "Yeah you told me about a month ago, why?" "Well I think I'm love with someone." He said shyly. "Really with who?" "I'm in love with..." **And Now** "I'm in love with..." Justin was cut off by Joey when he came up and threw water on us. "OH SHIT... Joey you are so dead." I said as I got up and took off after him. Justin was right behind me chasing Joey. We ran around for about twenty minutes and we gave up for now, but pay backs a bitch. Kevin came up behind me and put his arms around me. I smiled at that, but my smile faded as Justin turned around and saw Kevin holding me. "Justin let's go inside and talk." I said. We went inside and I sat him down. "Justin is Kevin the one you love?" "Yes" "Why?" He turned his head away from me. "I fell in love with him when we first met years ago." I could deal with this again. "I have go... I have to think. Tell them I'll be back I promise. Tell Kevin I love him for me." I got up and got my keys and left. Kevin entered the room as I was driving off. "Justin where is Mark going?" Justin didn't answer at first. He loked up at Kevin with a tear streaked face. "Justin where is Mark going?" "I don't know Kevin..." Justin said. "What did you say to him?" "He told me to tell you that he will be back and that he loves you." "That's not what I asked damn it." "I TOLD HIM THAT I LOVED YOU OK YOU HAPPY NOW ASSHOLE!!!" Kevin was floored he wasn't expecting that. Brian heard the yelling and came running. "What's going on, where's Mark?" Brian asked. He looked at both of them. Both were crying. Brian called J.C. to come and tend to Justin while he delt with Kevin. He got Kevin to bed finally. J.C. took Justin home and everyone else left. Brian still didn't know what was going on but that would have to wait he had to find Mark. **Somewhere outside of Orlando** I didn't know where I was going, just that I had to get away. I looked up and saw the exit to Atlanta. I took it. I guess I was going home. My heart ached, why is everyone after Kevin's love. It was getting dark and I was tired so I found a hotel and pulled in to spend the night. I got in my room and sat down on the bed. I saw some paper on the dresser and a pen. I got up and decided to write Kevin a letter. I folded the paper up and found an envilope. I addressed it without a return address. I would mail it later when I got some stamps. Now I need some sleep. **Three Days Later** "Kevin you got a letter here with out a return address." Brian said as he handed the letter to Kevin. He opened it and pulled the letter out. It read: Dear Kevin, This is not a dear John letter okay. I am writing you because one I love you and two to let you know I will be back. I just have to get somethings straightened out in my head. Please don't come looking for me. I will return. I am also returning the ring you gave the gold one as a promise to you that I will come back to reclaim it. I still have the silver one you gave me. I don't know how long it will take but I will be back. I ask that you don't push okay. I Love You Mark. He looked in the envilope and pulled out the ring. Tears fell as he grasp the ring in his hand. The radio was on and the song This I Promise You came on. The visions around you brings tears to your eyes and all that surrounds you are secrets and lies. I'll be your strength. I'll be your hope, keeping your faith when its gone. The one you should call I'm standing here all alone. I will take you in my arms, and hold you right where you belong, till the day my life is through this I promise you, this I promise you I've loved you forever in lifetimes before. and I promise you never will you hurt anymore. I give you my word. I give you my heart. This is a battle we've won. and by this vow forever has now begun Just to look into your eyes and see you right here with me. I know that this feeling wont go away Till the day my life is through this I promise you. Every word I say is true this I promise you ooh I promise you "He'll be back Brian I know it. But just not when." "How do you know Boo?" "Because I trust him Bri. I guess we start the next tour next week. Make sure we leave a tour schedual here just in case he comes here and we are gone." "I will but right now we need to get going so we can meet the guys in New York in a few days." They headed out the door. Kevin was last. He looked back one last time hoping Mark would return someday. When clouds above you Start to pour And all of your doubts Rage like a storm And you don't know who you are anymore Let me help you find What you've been searchin' for (Somewhere) somewhere there's a field and a river (Somewhere) you can let your soul run free (Someday) someday let me be the giver, let me bring you peace (Somewhere) somewhere there's a break in the weather (Somewhere) where your heart and spirit go free (Someday) someday it'll be for the better let this bring you peace Girl I know you Think no one sees The weight on your shoulders But you cant full me And aren't you tired Of standin' so tall Let me be the one To catch you when you fall (Somewhere) somewhere there's a field and a river (Somewhere) you can let your soul run free (Someday) someday let me be the giver, let me bring you peace (Somewhere) somewhere there's a break in the weather (Somewhere) where your heart and spirit go free (Someday) someday it'll be for the better let this bring you peace Let me bring you joy (bring you joy) Let me bring you peace (bring you peace) Take these tears that you cry And trust them to me Let me give you hope (give you hope) Let me give you hope (give you hope) Be the one constant love That you've never known (Somewhere) somewhere there's a field and a river (Somewhere) you can let your soul run free (Someday) someday let me be the giver, let me bring you peace (Somewhere) somewhere there's a break in the weather (Somewhere) where your heart and spirit go free (Someday) someday it'll be for the better let this bring you peace **Texarkana** I finally got to house. Dennis had been watching over it while I was away for me. I walked in and saw that all the mail was on my desk. The bills were paid. There were just a few junk mail stuff. I just left it. I went to the kitchen and fixed my self a glass of water and sat down at the bar. As I looked around I kept seeing too many things with Jason. It was then that I decided to move out of this house and into an appartment or something. I decided to call Dennis to let him know I was home for a while. "Hello can I speak to Dennis please?" "This is Dennis..." "Hey this is Mark I just called to let you know I was home..." "Cool is any one else there with you?" "No it's just me, there were a few things I needed to tend to." "Everything okay man?" "Not really but I'll be okay...change of subject, could you help me look for a new place to live. There are just too many memories I need to forget here?" "Sure I'll be right over, I know of a few place right now that are up for sale or rent." "Cool I'll be waiting... see ya then." "Okay bye." I hung up the phone and changed into some clothes more suitable for what we were going to do. You have to look nice but casual with house hunting. I took a shower and was just finishing when Dennis arrived. I got dressed and we headed out to find me another house. **1 month later** "Thankyou sir here are the keys to the house. Everything seems to be in order." "Yes it does and here is the check for the house." I handed the realitor the check and he handed me the keys. I would call the insurance company tomorrow and get the house insured. I decided to leave all the furniture at the other house and sell it furnished. I took all the pictures and my personal belongings with me. Now it was time to go buy some furniture. (I guess I should describe the hous.) Well it is a three story brick home. There are a total of 10 rooms and 4 bathrooms, a huge kitchen, den, basement and living room. Yeah I bought a mansion so sue me. It was red brick with white pillars on the front. On the left side of the house was a 6 car garage. The property was fenced in with a 18' fence that was electricfide. The front gate was motorized with a keycode or card. Dennis was happy for me because this was my dream home. It was out in the country but at least I was happy. We were on our way to the furniture store to buy furniture. The first place we stopped was Gateway Rent To Own. We walked in and looked around. I saw the perfect set of room settings. The living room set was blue, the couch, chairs and love seat were blue. Dennis called a representitive and let him know I wanted the set. When buying anything there is always a stack of forms to fill out. two hours later I had all the paper work filled out and they were moving the things I wanted out to be loaded and brought over to my house. It took me about two months to get everything set the way I wanted it. Dennis stayed with me alot during that time. I was grateful. The last item I want was a new entertainment center. We ordered one I saw in a catalog which was due in the next day. The guys had started the new tour and was doing great. Well except Kevin. He was always sad looking when ever he was on tv. They were having a special on MTV with the Backstreet Boys. "Alright girls and guys here is the Backstreet Boys and the last performance today." Carson said. "Hey, I just wanted to dedicate this song to a very special person out there. You know who you are." Kevin said. It was then I heard the music to 'No One Else Comes Close'. When we turn out the lights The two of us alone together Something's just not right But girl you know that I would never Ever let anothers touch, come between the two of us 'Cause no one else will ever take your place No one else comes close to you No one makes me feel the way you do You're so special girl to me And you'll always be eternally Every time I hold you near You always say the words I love to hear Girl with just a touch you can do so much No one else comes close And when I wake up to The touch of your head on my shoulder You're my dream come true, oh yeah Girl you know I'll always treasure Every kiss and everyday I'll love you girl in every way And I always will, 'cause in my eyes Oh baby No one else comes close to you No one makes me feel the way you do You're so special girl to me And you'll always be eternally Every time I hold you near You always say the words I love to hear Girl with just a touch you can do so much Girl, can't you see No one else comes close to you No one makes me feel the way you do You're so special girl to me And you'll always be eternally Every time I hold you near You always say the words I love to hear Girl with just a touch you can do so much Girl, can't you see No one else comes close Damn **3 Months Later** "Hi this is John Norris with MTV News. The Backstreet Boys are on their way to the last stop on this tour. It is in Little Rock, Arkansas. They have a sold out crowd. When we spoke to the guys about the tour they said it was a tour dedicated to a very good friend of theirs that has been with them since the begining the name Mark Cook." I was in shock. I didn't hear the rest of the news report. I had sold me house and bought a smaller one here in Texarkana. I decided to do that because I wanted to. I sat down and began to try and figure out how I was going to get to them with the sold crowd. I quit thinking and just got up and left for LR. When I got there I got a room in the closest hotel to the guys. They were already at the arena so I headed over there. When I got there I had no problem finding the guards. Well they found me first. "Sir you are not supposed to be here." a guard said. I turned around and he went crazy. "I am sorry Mr. Cook would like for me to take you to the guys?" "No that's okay but I would like for you to help me with something. Okay this is what I want to do..." I explained my plan and we got it in motion. We waited till they had left for lunch and set everything up. The band was there and everything. I was going to perform for the guys. Their concert wasn't till the next day so everything would be reset before then. Everything was set. Now all we had to do was wait. **After Lunch** "Well it's time we return for the rest of rehearsals." Brian said. they climbed into the limo and they were on their way to the arena. When they arrived a guard met them. "Excuse me sirs but would you please follow me. This way." "Gary what are doing we have to get to rehearsals." Kevin said. He didn't say anything. When the entered the arena the lights were out and the stage lights were on. Gary showed them to the seats in the front row. They saw Fatima and Rod with a few other people. All knew about Kevin and Mark. The stage lights gave off a soft glow. Softly the music began to play. I was lowered from the rafters down to the center of the round stage. My costum was solid white tux. The spot lights on me made me glow. The guys couldn't see who it was. I also had a hat on and my head was bowed. I unhooked the wires and waited for the band to begin "I Need You Tonight" Open up your heart to me And say what's on your mind, oh yes I know that we have been through so much pain But I still need you in my life this time, and... As soon as I began to sing Rod knew it was me. But the rest didn't except for Kevin. I need you tonight I need you right now I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right I really need you tonight I figured out what to say to you But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do And I know in time that you will understand That what we have is so right this time, and... I need you tonight I need you right now I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right All those endless times we tried to make it last forever more And baby I know I need you I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right I really need you, oh I need you tonight - I need you, oh I need you baby I need you right now - It's gotta be this, it's gotta be this I know deep within my heart No, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or it's right All I know is baby I really need you tonight I finished that song and I was back in the center of the stage. The lights we low again so hooked up the cables to the harnes and I heard the band begin Higher. When dreaming I'm guided through another world Time and time again At sunrise I fight to stay asleep 'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place 'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape From the life I live when I'm awake So let's go there Let's make our escape Come on, let's go there Let's ask can we stay? Can you take me higher? When I said that line I was raised up into the air. I was carried over the guys while singing. To the place where blind men see Can you take me higher? To the place with golden streets Although I would like our world to change It helps me to appreciate Those nights and those dreams But, my friend, I'd sacrifice all those nights If I could make the Earth and my dreams the same The only difference is To let love replace all our hate So let's go there Let's make our escape Come on, let's go there Let's ask can we stay? Up high I feel like I'm alive for the very first time Up high I'm strong enough to take these dreams And make them mine When I finished the song the band began to play another one but it wasn't one of theirs it was This I Promise You. The visions around you brings tears to your eyes and all that surrounds you are secrets and lies. I'll be your strength. I'll be your hope, keeping your faith when its gone. The one you should call I'm standing here all alone. I will take you in my arms, and hold you right where you belong, till the day my life is through this I promise you, this I promise you I've loved you forever in lifetimes before. and I promise you never will you hurt anymore. I give you my word. I give you my heart. This is a battle we've won. and by this vow forever has now begun Just to look into your eyes and see you right here with me. I know that this feeling wont go away Till the day my life is through this I promise you. Every word I say is true this I promise you ooh I promise you I removed my hat and all the guys saw me. I finished the song standing right in front of Kevin. He was crying hard. I smiled. The next thing I know is Kevin grabbing me and giving me a kiss that took my breath away. the guys laughed and then came and gave us a group hug. The rest of rehearsals was canceled and the band and crew began to set up for the concert the next day. "Mark I beleive this is yours." Kevin said as he retreived the ring from his pocket. He placed it on my hand and kissed me again. **Present** "I knew you would come back, I had this feeling deep inside that you were coming back." "That day I wanted to surprise you and the guys. You should have seen your faces. The clothes I had on that day were ones you were going to wear that night for one of the sets." Kevin turned the page in the picture album. In the center of the page was a picture of all the guys including *NSYNC celebrating my 22cd birth day. **Back in the past** "Guys what are you doing? Kevin would you please take this blindfold off?" "Sorry babe I can't we don't want to ruin the surprise now do we?" "Oh all right I'll wait but the longer I wait the long it will be before we have anymore fun in bed." "Guys lets hurry." Kevin said. The guys just laughed at him. I felt them stop and I heard a door open. Then the blind fold came off. "SURPRISE!!!" Everyone said. "OH MY GOD... You guys didn't... but how? NOOOOOOOO!!!" TBC... P.S. What is happening? What did they do? I guess you will have to wait till the nex part huh. Sorry but that is the way the ball Bounces. Guys and gals I am thinking about ending this in the next few installments. I don't know yet if I will. But this series will be the last I will write for now and maybe ever. Yes part of it is because I have quite recieving emails and all. And the other is I'm just getting tired of writing. Dennis if you are reading this I want to apologize if I made you angry at me. I don't know what I did but I'm sorry. I want to thank Rod for being there for me when no one else was. Lately he is the only one there but that is beside the point. I hope the new house is working out. Thanks for your support. Guys I just think I just melt back into the dark hole that is called my life and let you all get on with your lives. So I guess I'll go for now. I don't know when the next part will come out. Don't expect it too soon. Oh and Justin I hope you are doing good. I guess you have been really busy or something. But thanks for reading the stories.