Date: Sun, 14 May 2000 16:43:16 EDT
From: "Paul (The Town Tramp)" <thetowntramp@hotmail.com>
Subject: Rock Bottom Chapter 4 (Gay/Celebrity/Boy Bands)

Rock Bottom
By Paul

Note: This story does not imply anything about the sexuality of Brian
Littrell or Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. If you are under 18 or are
offended by homosexual literature, then you should go away now.

Okay; I haven't written this story in a long time, and I was browsing
through the Nifty Archives today and I was remembering all the things I
wanted to do with this story.  So here comes Chapter Four, and I hope you
like it.  All feedback is appreciated.

Chapter Four:

     Nick and Brian kissed for about ten seconds, until Nick opened his
eyes and pushed himself away from Brian.
     "What have I done???" Nick asked, in a state of shock, and feeling
guilt over kissing his friend.  Nick quickly turned away from Brian, and
with tears rolling down his face, and ran up the iron staircase and into
the right hand bedroom, quickly slamming the door behind him.
     Still downstairs and standing in the living room, Brian was in a state
of ecstasy after receiving the best kiss of his entire life.  His eyes were
still shut, and he was basking in how he felt like a warm pool of Jello;
all of his muscles felt as if they mad melted into a comforting liquid - a
liquid that sent the message to his brain that he was truly happy.
     A few moments later, however, Brian had to open his eyes and realize
the effect the kiss had on Nick.  A beautiful tear ran down Brian's face as
he realized the amount of hurt he just might have put his friend through.
There was Nick sitting alone upstairs probably crying his eyes out, Brian
thought, thinking he made an unwanted advance and possibly ruined a
friendship, yet it was exactly what Brian wanted.  All Brian wanted to do
was to run upstairs and take Nick in his arms and tell him that what they'd
done was exactly right, and what he'd wanted for days, weeks, and
subconsciously, months now.  Yet, there was something keeping him from
doing that - something deep down inside of him - so Brian stayed put, and
sat down on the crushed velvet couch.
     Brian was starting to think about what a relationship, albeit one he
was sure could work out well, would do to Nick in such a tender stage of
healing.  He remembered that it was only a couple of weeks ago that he'd
come into Nick's room and as he was folding laundry, Nick passed out of a
meant-for-suicide drug overdose.  He thought about the emotional pain Nick
was in at the moment, and how tortured and blackened and tangled and sick
his mind was, and was considering what a relationship would do to that.
Brian was confused.  He cared so much for Nick, and wanted to be with him
so badly, but because he cared so much for him, he didn't want to see Nick
hurt anymore.
     And so Brian sat on the crushed velvet couch, unsure of his next move.
He sat bent slightly forward, resting his chin on his left palm, and
tapping his forehead with his index finger.  Then, out of nowhere, and with
seemingly no provocation in his mind, he said aloud, "I love Nick."  Brian
was in shock with what he said, because he had not planned to say the
words, and they had just come automatically out of his mouth.  Brian shook
his head, and tried to make some sense of what was going on.  And it was
then, when Brian had finally admitted to himself the feelings that were
deep inside of him, the feelings that he'd tried to hide for so long, that
he knew what to do.
     Feeling completely rejuvenated, and like he was just reborn, Brian
stood up from the couch with a kind of power he felt before.  He stood up
straight, put his hands down to his side, and took a deep breath in through
his nose, and exhaled it through his mouth.  His eyes were focussed on the
balconies of the bedrooms above, and he saw that Nick was sitting in the
right hand bedroom.  Brian marched toward the iron staircase, and then
jumped up the stairs three at a time.  He knew exactly what he needed to
do.
     At the top of the staircase, Brian looked to his right and walked
toward the door.  Slowly, taking a few deep breaths, he leaned up against
the door.  He knocked lightly three times.  There was no answer.
     "Nick???  It's me," Brian said, hoping very much for an answer.
     "Please," Nick said, "not now."
     "Nick, hun," Brian said, trying to sound more sensitive, "I really
want to talk to you."
     There was no answer to the statement.  Brian was becoming really
worried that he wasn't going to be able to salvage what Nick had grown
into, and that they would have to start at rock bottom again.  This fear
was taking over Brian's mind, but he was eased when the door handle turned,
and he saw Nick on the other side.  His face was red and had obviously been
covered in tears, but Nick seemed to have rubbed them off quickly before he
opened the door.
     "Can I come in???" Brian asked, softly, and sweetly.
     "Yes," said Nick, timid and unsure.
     Brian slowly entered the room, and surveyed his surroundings.
Everything was perfectly in its place as it had been before, and it was
obvious that Nick hadn't done any damage to the room or to himself.  Brian
sat down on the part of the bed where the sheets had unfurled a little bit,
and had obviously been the place where Nick was sitting.  Brian patted the
immediate space beside him with his palm, inviting Nick to sit down.  Nick,
very reluctantly, sat down beside his friend on the bed.
     "Please tell me what's going on in your head," Brian said.
     "I... really, Brian... it's..." Nick stuttered, unsure of what to say.
     "Please, Nick," Brian asked again, but quietly and soothingly.
     "It's just..." Nick began, "the moment seemed right, Brian.  If you
were gay, it just would've been... perfect."  Nick paused for a minute, and
looked at the floor, "I was sensing something there, something that was
supposed to happen, but I guess I was wrong."
     With Nick looking at the floor, Brian took his hand and brushed his
palm against the other boy's cheek.  Brian pushed Nick's face so that he
was looking at him.  Their eyes met, and they stared at each other's
windows to their souls.  Slowly, Brian opened his mouth.
     "Nick, there are these feelings in my heart.  At first, and for the
longest time, I was sure that it was this deep, ever-lasting, strong and
bonded friendship to you.  But when you passed out two weeks ago, and when
I had to call the ambulance, and as I was there with you cradled in my arms
and with tears streaming down my face and begging to God to have you not
leave me, I figured out that there was something more.  There's something
big, and warm, and caring, and a helluva lot more than friendship in my
heart for you, Nick."  Brian brought his other hand up to Nick's face, so
he was cradling the beautiful boy's face in his arms.  "I don't know about
the gay thing, Nick, but there's something in me that's meant for you.
It's emotional, it's physical, it's psychological and it's sexual."  Brian
took in a deep breath and let it out through his mouth.  "I love you,
Nick."
     Nick was shocked.  He obviously had no idea of Brian's feelings, and
was very overwhelmed.  Tears started to run down his face, but this time,
Nick's mouth turned into a gigantic smile as he looked at Brian with wet
eyes.  "I love you so much, Nick."
     Brian and Nick leaned into each other, and slowly continued the kiss
that was interrupted downstairs.  Their lips brushed each others' slowly,
and their tongues went in and out of each others' mouths, and their tongues
played a passionate game of tag together.
     Their kiss broke, and purely happy, Nick and Brian looked at each
other.
     "Nick, I think we'll have a guest bedroom then," said Brian.
     "How so???" asked Nick.
     "Well, we're only going to need one," replied Brian.
     They both smiled and kissed again.  They both took off their clothes
and put on silk sleep pants.  They both crawled under the covers of the bed
and cradled each other in their arms.  They kissed once, and drifted off to
sleep.

Okay, so that's Chapter Four.  I hoped you enjoyed it, because it sets up
the relationship.  Now Nick and Brian are going to have to deal with the
consequences of their actions.  Email me with your comments at
thetowntramp@hotmail.com.