Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 12:33:25 -0800 (PST)
From: Francis O'Ratigan <frnceso@yahoo.com>
Subject: Rude Awakening Chapter 1&2

Well it is me again The author of Twist and Turns. Welcome to the world
premier of Rude Awakening.  And it will be just that.  This story is a
fictional account of two men's love for one another.  Kevin and Jason will
go through some very happy times and some heart wrenching times as well.
So hang to your heartstrings and grab the tissue box because be warned, you
will need them.  This is fiction and in no way reflects the sexual
orientation of the BSB or Nsync.

Some stories that you need to be following.

Justin's Dark Angel: Really good with an excellent plot.  (I'm thinking
vampires or something supernatural.  Any way you look at it, it is some
really cool stuff.  What about it? Is the author going to spill the goods
on Justin's Dark Angel?  Details man we want Details.

Busta: Wow what a story.  I don't think there is one in the archives that
comes close to it.  I mean come on people.  How often do we get a Dog's
view of things?  Such as a Stuffed Cucumber and DB Justin (that is the one
I love the best.)  I look forward to the next installment.

Escape: Another great one.  This one really pulls at the heartstrings too.
Kevin has son!!! Wow!  Looking forward to the next installment on that one.

Studio in the Country: Another good one too.  See? You don't have to have
hot sex in your story to make it good.  Although it would be great for them
to throw caution to the wind and go for it.

Please check out the above mentioned stories.  If you don't you are really
missing out.



Rude Awakening

Chapter 1

In Orlando Florida in Kevin's Apartment.

Jason was laying in bed sound asleep with his husband beside him.  It had
been two weeks since their wedding.  For the first week they were
blissfully happy.  The start of their second week as a couple they had
their first fight.  They spent the whole day apart.  It took the work of AJ
and Brian to bring them to the table to talk it over.  Than it took the two
of them to break up the make up session before it got to embarrassing.
During that two-week period the BSB had been on one interview after
another.  Brian had come back out in the limelight and the Backstreet Boys
were back together again.  Kevin opened his eyes and looked down at his
husband.  Kevin was growing concerned with Jason.  Jason had been plagued
with high fevers and swollen lymphnoides.  Kevin tried to get him to go to
the doctor but Jason refused.  Kevin had a deep fear that went to his core.
He knew that something was seriously wrong.  It was imperative to get Jason
to the doctor as soon as possible.  But it was not going to be easy.  He
was still asleep and he looked so cute lying there that he decided to watch
him sleep for a few moments.  He reached over and brushed a stray hair off
of his forehead.  Jason opened his eyes and yawned.  "Hi Kev," mumbled a
sleepy Jason.  Kevin bent down and kissed him lightly on the nose.  Jason
made a grab for Kevin but Kevin slid out of the way.  It would have been so
easy to stay in bed and make love until noon but alas there was work to do.

"Go back to sleep babe," whispered Kevin as he slipped out of bed.  Kevin
had a busy day ahead of him.  First he had breakfast with the guys and than
it was off to management to discuss the future of the group.  Management
wanted them back to work and they wanted them back to work now.  Kevin's
brow wrinkled with worry as he thought about how they were going to work
together again as a group.  A lot of stuff had happened since they last
performed.  For one thing Jason would not be there performing.  That was
his choice.  Once Brian and Howie was back on the scene there was no need
for him.  He insisted on dropping out quietly.  He had not signed any
contract and was free to do so.  Than there was all the hard feelings of
what happened with Brian.  That would take along time to forgive and
forget.  Howie was working overtime trying to make up for what he did.
Nick and Brian were speaking again but not like they used to.  It pained
them both that their friendship was not as close.  They were working on it
and that too would take time.  Kevin longed for the days when they would be
one happy family again.  Out in public they were the same crazy Backstreet
Boys wowing their beloved fans.  They had an open press conference to
announce that Brian was alive and well.  The only problem the press
couldn't get close to them.  The fans were their showing their support.
Kevin laughed when he remembered the look of shock on Jason's face when the
fans demanded that he made an appearance.  The ringing of the phone
interrupted his thoughts.  He quickly got it so as not to wake his angel.

"Yea this is Kevin," he mumbled into the receiver.

"Morning cousin," said a cheerful Brian.  Kevin rolled his eyes.  He could
never understand why his cousin was always so cheerful this early in the
morning.

"What do you want Brian?" he grumbled.  He could almost hear the hurt in
his cousin's voice.  Brian was always sensitive and was hurt easily.

"Just wanted to see when you and Jason was coming over to eat breakfast?"
he said.

"Sorry Brian, didn't mean to grumble at you.  I'll be there in a few.
Jason is staying here today.  He wants to get back into writing again,"
explained Kevin.

"Cool," said Brian.  They continued to talk for a few moments before
hanging up.  He quickly showered and dressed.  He would forgo shaving
today.  It wasn't like he was going to have pictures taken or anything.  So
he could rough it for one day.  He heard some gagging noises.  He knew that
Jason was sick again.  He walked into the bedroom and saw Jason leaning
over the wastebasket.  He had tears streaming down his face.  Kevin's heart
went out to him.  He hated to see Jason in pain.  He went to his side and
helped him to the bed.

"What is wrong Jas?" asked Kevin using Jason's new pet name.  Jason laid
his head on his shoulder and moaned softly.

"I don't feel so good," he whimpered.  Kevin felt his forehead and grew
concerned.

"You're burning up," he said headed to the bathroom to find a thermometer.
He found one and brought it back to Jason.  He slid it under Jason's
tongue.  Wrapping his arms around Jason he pulled him close.  "I'm right
here Babe.  I won't let anything happen to you," he cooed at Jason.  Jason
just nodded.  The thermometer beeped and Kevin took it out and looked at
it.  His eyes got big.  "105 degrees!" he yelped.  "We have to get the
fever down.  Do you think you can take some Motrin?" he asked.  Jason
nodded yes.  In a few seconds Kevin had a glass of water and two Motrin
tablets.  Jason took them in one gulp and laid back down.  "I'm staying
home with you!" announced Kevin picking up the phone and dialing Brian's
number.  Jason was starting to protest but Kevin silenced with a look.  He
noticed that Jason started shivering.  He pulled the blankets up around
him.  Jason mumbled thanks and closed his eyes.

"Hey Brian," spoke Kevin in the phone.  "I'm not going to be able to go out
today.  Jason is real sick and I want to be with him today."

"What is wrong with him?" asked Brian growing concerned.  Kevin never took
a day off so it had to be serious if he was taking the day off to take care
of Jason.

"He has a fever.  I am getting worried Brian.  That is the third one this
week," said Kevin.

"Maybe it is time to take him to the Doctor," suggested Brian.  Kevin
winced at those words.  Jason hated doctors with a passion but Brian was
making sense.  Jason needed to go and find out what was wrong.  So after he
hung up with Brian he made an appointment with his Doctor.  He crept back
into the bedroom and crawled in bed with Jason.  He noticed that Jason had
tossed off the blankets.

"Jas?" asked Kevin softly.  Jason mumbled something and turned over.  "Jas,
come on you have to get up get a shower.  I'm taking you to the Doctor," he
whispered in his ear.

"I don't want to go," whimpered Jason turning over with a stubborn look on
his face.  Kevin got stubborn too so he picked up Jason and carried him
protesting to the bathroom and deposited him in the shower.

"You are going to the Doctor and I don't want to argue with you about it.
You are sick and sick people go to Doctors!" yelled Kevin turning on the
water.  Once Jason was showering Kevin left to get dressed.  After about
fifteen minutes Jason came out of the shower glaring at Kevin.

"I hate Doctors," grumbled Jason.  Kevin almost laughed but kept it in
check.

"This has been going on for almost a week now Babe and I am starting to get
really worried about you," reasoned Kevin.  In a few moments they were on
their way to the hospital.  Kevin wanted to meet at her office but she had
to be at the hospital all day so they decided to meet at the hospital.

At a Restaurant across town.

Brian walked up to the table where the other guys were sitting.  They were
all joking around.  Nick had AJ in a headlock and Howie was tickling AJ.
AJ was begging for mercy.  Brian coughed loudly to get their attention.
They all looked up innocently.

"Where is Kevin and Jason?" asked Nick.

"Kevin is taking Jason to the Doctors this morning," announced Brian.

"What is wrong with him?" asked Howie.

"Another high fever that makes it the third one this week," reported Brian
sitting down and stealing AJ cup of Coffee.  AJ just shrugged and waived a
waiter down.  "We do need to talk about Jason though." All eyes were on
Brian waiting for him to drop a bomb.  "The fans are demanding that we make
Jason a part of the band.  Turns out that the fans like him.  They like him
a lot.  So any ideas?" he threw it out to the rest of the guys.

"How does Jason feel about this?" asked AJ.

"Jason doesn't know how the fans feel.  He as requested to leave the group.
He wants to continue writing," Brian told AJ.

"Do you think he will go for it?" asked Nick.

"My impression when I talked to him about staying was no.  Jason just wants
to be a writer," said Brian.  AJ got this huge smile on his face.  "Oh oh I
know that look Alexander, what are you thinking?" asked a now worried
Brian.

"Well, remember the week after the wedding?" He asked.

"Yea I thought Kevin was going to kill you.  You spend just about every
waking moment in Jason's study with him.  What were you working on any
way?" asked Brian.

"Well as it turns out that Screen plays aren't the only things that Jason
writes," he paused grinning.  Nick punched him in the shoulder.

"Well spill it already!" shouted an aggravated Nick.

"He also writes songs.  And he is pretty good.  He and I were working on
one that I might record for our next album.  It is called "Next Time."
Explained AJ getting confused looks from the rest of the guys.  He sighed
and continued.  "Well what if we asked him to join our staff as a writer?"
he asked looking really pleased with himself.

"You know that just might work!" exclaimed Howie.  "We could keep him in
the group and he would be writing at the same time."

"Helloooo!" shouted Brian.  "What part of he only wants to write screen
plays don't you understand?"  They all looked at him like he was nuts.
"Well maybe we can talk to him about it," he relented.

At the Hospital in the Doctors office

Kevin was sitting beside Jason.  They had just returned from the bathroom
after Jason had thrown up.  A nurse came over and informed them that the
Doctor was ready to see them.  Jason got up to go in the room and Kevin was
going to stay behind but Jason grabbed his hand and pleaded with his eyes
for Kevin to follow.  Once inside the nurse instructed Jason to strip.
Kevin was choked up with emotion when he saw Jason naked for the first time
in a week.  It looked like Jason had lost 10 to 15 pounds.  He helped Jason
slip on a hospital gown.  The door opened and in walked the Doctor.  She
stuck out her hand and shook Jason's first than Kevin's pausing to take
notice of the rings on their left hands.  Kevin saw this and took hold of
Jason's hand.

"What seems to be the problem Jason?" she asked kindly.

"Well I am throwing up all the time and I get these high fevers and my
lymph nodes are swollen and sore," Jason explained.  He started shivering a
little.

"Do you have a blanket for him?" asked Kevin.  The doctor pointed to one
the examination bed.  Kevin got it and put it around Jason's shoulder.

"When was your last HIV test?" she asked bluntly.  Kevin's heart leaped up
in his throat.

"It has been a few years.  But I've always tested negative," answered
Jason.

"How about you Mr. Richardson?" she asked.

"Six months ago," he answered.  "And it was negative."  'But what about
Nick?' he asked himself.

"Well I think the first step is to get Jason tested.  I'm ordering a
battery of tests too.  So He'll be spending some time in the lab.  You can
come if you want.  I'm also ordering exrays and a spinal tap as well.
Don't worry Jason, we will get to the bottom of this." she said smiling
assuredly.  She left Jason and Kevin alone.  Kevin started sobbing.

"What is wrong Babe?" asked Jason.

"God Jason, what if you have Aids?" he sobbed.  Jason pulled him into a
hug.  "I mean I'm pretty sure it wasn't me.  But what about Nick?"  Jason
didn't say anything but Kevin knew that the thought of Nick having HIV
scared Jason.

"I don't think it is aids Babe," said Jason trying to comfort Kevin.

"Mr. Richardson," he asked.  Jason looked up.  "We are ready to take you to
the lab."  Jason nodded and climbed into the wheel chair.  Kevin convinced
the orderly to let him push Jason.  Jason smiled at the thought of his
husband pushing him.  Three hours later the tests were done.  Jason was
tired and napping on Kevin's shoulder.  Kevin let him nap. He could tell
that Jason's fever was up again.  A few tears of worry fell from Kevin's
eyes.

"God, please watchover him," sobbed Kevin quietly.  The door opened in
walked the Doctor.  She was smiling which to Kevin met good news.  "Well
Doc what is it?" he asked.

"First let me ask you a few questions, OK?" she asked.  Kevin nodded yes.
"He is crazy in love with you, you know?" she asked.  "And I can see that
you love him too. Are you ready to go the distance for him?" she asked.

"I'm ready to give my life for him if that is what it is going to take,"
said Kevin stroking the side of Jason's face.

"Well it wont take that, thank God.  But you do have a very sick husband on
your hands," she informed Kevin.

"Is he going to die?" he sobbed out.  Jason moaned and woke up.

"I haven't lost a patient yet and I don't plan on losing Jason," she said
smiling.

"Uh some one want to tell me what is going on?" asked a sleepy Jason.

"Well first the good news.  The infection you are fighting off is not
Aids," she said slowly letting the news sink in.  Kevin buried his head in
his hands sobbing in relief.  Jason rubbed Kevin's shoulders to calm him
down.  "Now the not so good news," she said.  Jason nodded for her to
continue.  "You have cancer of the lymph nodes.  It is treatable and almost
always curable.  But the road will be a long one.  You will have to go
through a long period of Chemo and Radiation.  So you need to prepare
yourself for a rough road ahead."

Jason was stunned. This was too much information for him to accept.  Kevin
took his hand and put his other arm around him.  "I promise Jason that I
will be right by your side.  I'm not going anywhere.  We will fight this
together," swore Kevin.

"When do we start?" asked Jason smiling a little to comfort Kevin.

"Well I want to admit you tonight.  We can start first thing in the
morning.  The first few doses will be over nights than we can do them
pretty much on an outpatient basis," she said filling out the paper work.
While she was busy filling out the paper work Kevin got Jason settled into
this room.  While Jason was napping Kevin called Brian.

"Brian?" asked Kevin trying to control his emotions.

"How is Jason?" asked Brian.

"Not too good," sobbed Kevin.  "Can you come over to the Hospital?"

"I'm on my way Kev," said Brian.  Brian turned around to see Nick standing
there.

"How is Jason?" asked Nick.

"Kevin says not too good.  I'm going over at Kevin's request to see him,"
Brian said headed out the door.


Kevin headed back into the room.  An I.V. tech was starting an IV in
Jason's arm.  Kevin winced when the tech plunged the needle in Jason's arm.
Jason smiled at Kevin.

"What's the matter Kevin, you don't like needles?" he joked at him.  Kevin
was glad that Jason's mood was a little better.

"Only when they go in you," he said leaning down and kissing the top of
Jason's head.  "When do they give you your first dose of Chemo?"

"First thing in the morning," said Jason.  The tech had finished with the
iv and left the two newly weds together.  Jason slid over so that Kevin
could sit down beside.  "I missed you," he said sliding his arm around
Kevin's waist.

"I missed you to Jas," he giggled when Jason started to lightly tickle him.
Kevin leaned down and kissed him on the lips.  Jason moaned softly pressing
his body against the lean hard frame of Kevin.  They continued to kiss
softly for a few moments.  Neither of them heard the door open.  There was
a soft cough and they looked over at the figure.  Their lips still locked
together.  Brian busted up laughing at their shocked expressions.  They
broke apart blushing.

"Hi Brian," mumbled Jason.  He was a little mad because he wanted Kevin all
to himself.  Brian looked a little hurt.  "Don't worry about it Brian it
has just been a rough day is all."  Brian cheered up and sat at the foot of
his bed.

"So what is wrong with you?" he asked.  "I uh noticed that they have you in
a cancer ward," he said worried.

"I have cancer of the lymph nodes," explained Jason.

"Well there is a bright side to this," said Brian reaching down and hugging
Jason.  Kevin looked at Brian like he was nuts.

"A bright side to this?" asked Kevin getting mad.

"Yes Kevin there is a bright side to this.  Jason's cancer is treatable.
And almost always curable," defended Brian.

"I understand Brian but I still don't like the idea of Jason having to go
through all of this.  He as been through enough crap as it is.  I just want
him healthy is all," sobbed Kevin.  Brian pulled Kevin in a hug.

"This is going to be a long hard road for him.  He needs you more now than
he has ever needed you," consoled Brian.  "I'm here for you too Jas."

"It looks like he is tired out," said Kevin looking over at Jason who was
sleeping.  "What is on the schedule for tomorrow?"

"We have tomorrow off.  But the rest of the week is going to be hell,"
warned Brian.  "Bottom line Kevin, we need you.  Management is going to
throw some major tour dates our way.  Jas's illness couldn't have come at a
worse time."  Kevin sat down in a chair and he looked out the window.  He
felt as if the weight of the world was crashing down upon his shoulders.

"I will not leave his side Brian.  I love him to much do that to him.
There has to be a way that I can be with him!" he insisted.

"Take him on tour with us?"  asked Brian.  "Come on Kevin that won't work
and you know it.  Cancer patients' immune systems are compromised as it is.
That kind of life would kill him and you know it!"

"I won't leave him dammit!" Kevin shouted back.  "There has to be a way to
be with him."

"There is but you are not going to like it," said Brian.

"Tell me what it is and I'll do it!" answered Kevin going to Jason's
bedside and stroked his face.  Jason leaned into his touch and kissed the
palm of Kevin's hand in his sleep.

"Take a leave of absence from the group," suggested Brian.  Kevin started
to protest but Brian stopped him.  "The fans will understand.  And you
don't have to worry about breaching the contract.  We had a clause built to
cover serious illness that involves family members."

"The management will not recognize Jason and My marriage.  They've already
made that clear Brian.  Either way you look at it, it means leaving my baby
to fight this fucking disease alone!" Kevin turned and left the room
slamming the door behind him.  Brian shook his head sadly and sat beside
Jason and took his hand.

"What are we going to do now Jas?" he asked.

In a Bar two blocks away from the hospital.

"Can I get you something?" asked the bartender.

"A beer," mumbled Kevin staring at the bar.  An icy cold mug was placed in
front of him. He took it by the handle and drank deeply from it.  He closed
his eyes savoring the combination of the icy cold taste and the flavor.

"That is not going to solve your problems," said a voice. Kevin looked up
and shook his head.

"How many years has it been?" he asked setting the mug down.

"Too long Kev," said the good-looking man.  He bent down and planted a kiss
on Kevin's lips.  Kevin resisted the kiss and politely pushed him away.

"I'm a married man now Luke.  I can't do this and you know it," Kevin said
sternly.

"Oh come on babe that hasn't stopped you before, or does he know of your
first husband?" he taunted smiling that annoying smile that seemed to light
up the night.  Kevin's eyes showed anger and he got up and headed away from
the bar.

"Leave me alone Luke, we don't have a future.  We didn't have one then and
we sure the hell don't have one now," ordered Kevin.

"What would Jason think about how you left your first husband while he was
on his death bed?" threatened Luke.

Kevin was on him in a heartbeat.  "That was a long time ago.  I was young
and stupid and couldn't handle something like that.  Jas and I have
something special and I won't do that to him."  Luke just laughed and that
was when Kevin saw who he was.  "You're the lab tech who took Jason's
labs," he breathed.  Luke just looked up and smiled up at him and nodded.
Kevin backed up and ran from the bar.  Once he was far enough away he
leaned up against the brick wall.  "Oh God, what am I going to do?" he
sobbed out.

Chapter 2

Jason woke up from his nap.  He looked around for Kevin and didn't see him.
He felt a hand on his shoulder.  "Kev?" he asked hopefully.

"Sorry buddy, Kevin stepped out for a few moments," answered Brian.  "So
how long are they going to keep you here?" he asked making conversation.

"Just until they give me my first dose of Chemo.  I hope to be out by
noon," Jason answered.  He was still looking for Kevin.

"I promise he will be back Jas," Brian assured him.  There was a knock at
the door and in walked the rest of the gang.  Nick looked very
uncomfortable in the room and hung back.  Truth was that hospitals didn't
really bother Nick all that much. It was the sick wards that bothered him.
He hated the smell.  It was the smell of death and the thought of Jason
spending time in a place like this really bothered him.  He shuddered at
the thought of that.

"Hey guys," said Jason cheerfully.  AJ came forward and hugged Jason.

"You have to get better fast so we can record that song together," he
instructed him.

"I think you can hold your own AJ," laughed Jason.

"Yea but it is your song and you are going to sing the lead in it,"
insisted AJ messing up Jason's hair.

"Mess it up again and you are dead!" joked Jason.  They all laughed.  The
door opened and Kevin came walking in.  He looked at Jason and smiled.

Hi sweetie!" he said going to his side and bending down for a quick kiss.
Jason's hand traveled up his shirt and rubbed his chest.  There was a bunch
of gagging noises so they broke away.  "Did you have a good rest?" he
asked.

"It was alright.  I missed you, where did you go?" Jason asked sliding over
to make room for Kevin to sit down.  Kevin eagerly sat down next to his
lover.  Jason laid his head on Kevin's shoulder.

"I had some thinking to do," he mumbled looking away.

"Want to talk about it?" asked Jason growing worried.  Kevin looked at him
with tears in his eyes.

"Jason I have something to tell you and it is not going to be easy," he
sniffled.  Jason took his hand and nodded for him to continue.  Kevin took
a deep breath and started.  "When I was 18 I met this great guy and fell in
love and we got married.  I was young and foolish.  I really thought I was
in love." he paused to wipe some tears from his eyes.  There was silence in
the room.

"Go ahead Babe, I'm still listening," said Jason conveying as much love as
he could with his voice.  It seemed to give Kevin strength.

"Well we were real happy for the first six months.  Than he got sick.  It
was terminal and I got scared and I--," he couldn't finish.  He buried his
head in Jason's shoulder sobbing.  Jason just held him rocking gently back
and forth.  "I am such a fucking coward!" he sobbed.

"No you are not Kevin.  You happen to be one of the strongest people I
know.  I love you!" Jason consoled him looking him in the eyes.

"I don't want to leave you," he sobbed out.

"Who said any thing about you leaving?" asked Jason laughing softly.

"That is what I did before and I am afraid I am going to do that again!" he
blurted out.

"Kevin you were young back then.  You are a different person now.  I know
that you would never do that to me.  This is different, the cancer I have
is treatable.  I am going to win this thing and I'll come out stronger for
it," assured Jason.  Brian came up and pulled Kevin in a hug.

"Man you don't know how proud I am of you right now.  It took a lot of guts
to tell Jason that part of your life," said Brian.

"So how long are you in this joint?" asked Nick still looking like
something was going to bite him.  Jason got up and went to him and touched
his shoulder.  Nick cringed at the touch.

"Oh Nick," sighed Jason.  "I'm still the same person you've always known.
I just have cancer is all.  It is safe to be around me." Nick nodded and
hugged Jason.  A look of worry crossed his face as he embraced him.

"You've lost weight Jas," he stated.  Jason nodded.

"Well I haven't felt like eating much lately," Jason said as he made his
way to the small couch.  He sat down and motioned Kevin over.  Kevin smiled
as he sat next to him.

"But that is going to change, right?" asked Kevin giving Jason a knowing
glance.

"I don't have much of an appetite but I will for you Babe," said Jason
although not to convincingly.  Kevin shot him a scolding look.

"You have to eat Babe.  This whole thing depends on you living right and
that means eating even when you don't feel like it," Kevin insisted looking
around for support from the rest of the guys.

"Yea and I'll be happy to cook for you!" offered Nick.  This of course got
a round of laughter from everyone.  He looked hurt.  "Hey! I can cook!" he
whined glaring at the guys.

"Sure you can buddy," laughed Brian messing up Nick's hair.  Nick hated
that and he swatted Brian's hand away.  "Speaking of food I am getting
hungry."  All the rest of them agreed and made plans to go get some food.

"You guys go on ahead and get something to eat.  I'm staying here with my
baby," announced Kevin snuggling up to Jason.

"You need to go eat Kevin," scolded Jason.

"I'll bring you something back," offered Brian.  "That way you can spend
some more time with Jas."  So it was decided and they left to go eat.  Once
they were gone Kevin moved in for a kiss.  But when he kissed Jason he
could tell the fever had gone up.

"You're hot again Babe," he said feeling Jason's head.

"It is becoming a thing now, isn't it?" asked Jason trying to make light of
it.  He didn't want to let Kevin know how scared he was.

"It is ok for you to be scared Baby God knows I'm scared shitless," said
Kevin with a shaky laugh.

"I just want all of this to be over.  It seems that all I ever do is spend
time in the Hospital.  I hate it!" Jason shouted.  Kevin jumped at his
sudden outburst.  "Sorry," Jason mumbled.

"Don't apologies Jason.  In your shoes I would be mad too," Kevin pulled
Jason in a hug but Jason pulled away and turned over.  Kevin was hurt when
Jason did that but respected Jason's need to be alone for awhile.  So Kevin
headed to the one place where he could truly be alone with his thoughts.
He opened the doors and walked in.  The quietness of the room enveloped
him.  He always loved the quietness of a church.  He deliberately sought
out the Catholic ones.  There was something different about them.  There
was like this timeless Presence there.  It was like time stood still there.
He found a seat and sat in it.  He noticed that there was a kneeler in
front of him.  He lowered it and knelt down and looked up at the red candle
beside the gold box beneath the huge Crucifix.  For the time being he was
at peace.  He let his guard down and surrendered his feelings to the arms
of the one person who could make it all better.

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E-mail me at frnceso@yahoo.com