Date: Sat, 10 Feb 2001 20:43:43 -0800 (PST)
From: Colleen H <reader_colleen@yahoo.com>
Subject: Scarce Heard Chapter 18

***********
DISCLAIMER:  This story is not real.  Comprende?  *NSync (ie-- Chris and
JC) may or may not be gay.  Who cares?  Whatever floats their respective
boats is their business and not mine.  So please don't e-mail me and ask me
if they're gay, cause I have no clue.

Thanks go out to my muses:  Dara, Red, Tariana, Jackie and Casey.  Without
you guys, I wouldn't be writing so much.  And that goes for everyone who
has e-mailed me, too.  THANK YOU, all of you.

Special thanks to Kenitra ("Millennium Love") for the idea for the story's
format.  The song & lyrics are by Sarah McLachlan.
**********

Scarce Heard Amid The Guns Below
18- Hold On - JC POV
By Colleen


	I brought Chris back to Orlando with me.  It took some doing on my
part, but he's here.  With me.  Beside me, where he should be.  But I'm not
going to tell him that, not yet.  He's currently downstairs, playing with
the PlayStation we bought ourselves about three months before this whole
mess started.  Chris was actually pretty shocked to see I hadn't trashed
it, but I couldn't.  It was one of the only things I had left of him when
he left me the second time.

	I had to practically bribe his boss to let Chris leave--again--and
I had to explain my reasons for coming to see Chris in the first place.
THAT question threw me for a loop.  How do you explain to someone the depth
of your feeling for another person, good or bad?  I needed closure, is what
I finally told the doctor.  I needed to see if what we had could ever be
repaired in order for me to move on.  He believed me, and let Chris go.

	I had to deal with Danielle, too.  It's odd, knowing that
my... boyfriend's?  Is Chris my boyfriend, still?  Anyway, it's odd knowing
that Chris and his ex-girlfriend share such a close relationship.  Their
love of each other almost makes me jealous, but I love Dani too much to
hate her.  I also can't say anything about Dani because I have Bobbie.  We
broke up almost a year ago, but we're still pretty close.  I guess that
makes me and Chris even.  A sound interrupts my thoughts.  The phone
downstairs is ringing, but Chris gets it before I can.  I pick up the other
extension, though, and listen in.

	"Hello?"

	"CHRIS?"  Why is Lance calling my house?

	"Yeah, it's me."

	"What are you doing at JC's place?" Lance asks.

	"What are you doing CALLING JC's place?" Chris counters and Lance
laughs.

	"I wanted to know if he knew where you were.  I called your boss
about an hour ago and he said you had left."  Chris suddenly appears in the
doorway of my room, smiling.

	"Josh came to get me."

	"He *what*?"

	"I'll let him tell you."

	"Hi, Lance," I speak up and there's the sound of him dropping the
phone.  Chris and I both snicker.  It feels good to be doing something with
him, even if it's just simple laughter.  This is something I've missed over
the last little while.

	"Why did..."

	"I needed to talk to Chris," I tell Lance, shooting a glance at
Chris.  "I got my act together and we talked.  SERIOUSLY talked for a
while."

	"So Justin did beat some sense into you?"  Chris looks at me funny.

	"No, not Justin.  I think it was more Chris leaving again that made
me think."  A look of pain crosses Chris's face and I reach over to hug
him.  "It's OK, hon.  I needed that knock upside the head."

	"I'm glad you came," Chris says softly in my ear.  Lance coughs
loudly to let us both know he's still on the line.

	"Is everything OK over there?" he asks.  Chris pulls away from me.

	"I'm fine, Scoop.  Josh, can you hang up the phone, please?  I want
to talk to Lance alone."

	"Sure," I say, hanging up my phone and going downstairs to give him
the privacy he wants.  Heading for my studio, I sit at the piano and tinker
for a while.  I don't even hear Chris come down the stairs, so when someone
sits next to me on the bench, it scares me.

	"Lance wants to talk to you," Chris says, handing me the phone.
Taking it, I turn slightly away.

	"Yo?"

	"Chris told me what you guys have been talking about," Lance says
bluntly.  I raise an eyebrow-- this boy sure doesn't hold back!

	"Then I assume he also told you that we're working on rebuilding a
friendship."

	"Just... be careful, Josh.  I don't want either one of you to go
through that again."  I'm touched that Lance cares so much.

	"I promise, Lance.  I can't speak for Chris," shooting him a look,
"but I can tell you this-- I promise I will do everything in my power not
to hurt him."

	"Chris said that, too," Lance tells me, smile evident in his voice.
"You guys belong together, Josh.  Don't let anything get between you guys
again."

	"I promise, Lance."  And if I have anything to do with it, *this*
promise will last forever.

*****
... And now you're sleeping peaceful
And I lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow
And we will see another day
And we will praise it and love the light
That brings a smile across your face.
*****