Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 21:55:17 CDT
From: T. Marie <ficklepickle76@hotmail.com>
Subject: Searcing For te Light - Chapter 6

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction, loosely based on the members
of *NSYNC.  This story is not meant to imply the sexuality of the members
of *NSYNC or that they would say or do any of the things mentioned.  This
story will contain explicit homosexual content.  If it is illegal for you
to read fiction of this type please stop reading now.  This story is
copyright 2000 T. Marie.  Comments, suggestions, feedback... may be sent
c/o ficklepickle76@hotmail.com

Searching For The Light (c) 2000 T. Marie


Chapter 6

"Justin" a deep voice called his name and Justin slowly awoke from the
pleasant dream he'd been having.  He felt a warm body next to his and
remembered the night before with clarity.  Smiling over both the dream and
the fact that JC was next to him he turned towards the voice.

"What Lance?" He mumbled in a groggy voice.

"We're at the hotel, the Joey and Chris are already inside, we're all
checked in."

"What time is it?"

"It's almost 7:00, we have like six hours before we have to start getting
ready for the show."

"I think I'm just gonna stay here" Justin said resuming his spot spooned up
against JC's warm body.

"Jus, you can't the bus is gonna leave. It's been here too long already, if
it doesn't go soon the whole world will know where we're staying.  Most of
your bags have already been brought in.  Here are your and JC's room keys,
just get dressed and come in."  Justin grimaced and began to sit up. Lance
glanced at JC's sleeping form and smiled up at Justin.  "Looks like things
are working out."

Justin's tired face broke out into a huge grin "Yeah, I think they are."

"See, ya soon." Lance added and walked off the bus.

Justin turned his attention to waking JC up.  As he debated the best way to
wake the other man up he mentally congratulated himself, thinking about how
lucky he was that JC had finally realized that they were meant to be
together.  Feeling bold Justin picked up JC's hand lightly.  He placed a
kiss in the center of JC's palm and then used tip of his tongue to trace
his love line.  Justin watched JC's face as he began to wake up, he gently
ran his tongue up JC's middle finger and then back down his hand to the
older man's wrist.  He knew JC was watching him as he placed soft kisses up
the veined and muscled arm.  Justin continued his trail of kisses over JC's
bare shoulder not stopping until he had reached the now fully awake man's
neck.  He nuzzled JC's ear and his open mouth traveled over the contours of
his jaw, tickling and arousing JC with his warm breath.  He stopped at JC's
collarbone and briefly rested his curly head on the lightly hair covered
chest.

"I want to kiss you but I know I have morning breath." Justin murmured
against the warm skin of JC's pectoral muscles.  "We're at the hotel."
Justin explained quickly.

"Well, lets go inside then.  I want to find my toothbrush, and fast." The
two men jumped down from the bunk with matching smiles.  They hurriedly
threw on some clothing and gathered a few items.  They quickly walked
through the lobby to the elevator Justin glanced at the top key in his
hand, noting the room number.  He and JC walked off of the elevator
anxiously. Justin inserted the key card and pulled JC into the room.  They
threw their bags on top of the dresser and each man began searching for his
toothbrush.  JC found his first and walked into the bathroom.

When Justin entered the room a few seconds later JC had a mouth full of
toothpaste foam. "You know now that I think about it, maybe morning breath
isn't so bad.  We did kiss in the middle of the night."

"Just brush your teeth Justin" JC responded with a grin "I'm sure we'll
both enjoy it more if we are minty fresh" he finished after he spit out the
mouthful of toothpaste.

Justin flashed JC a quick smile and went to work cleaning his teeth with
diligence.  When he returned from the bathroom JC had already stripped down
to his boxers, leaning back on the bed.  "Anxious are we?" Justin
teased. "I take it you don't mind staying in here."

"I want to stay in here, it will be a lot easier for you to wake me up this
way." JC answered.  Since the depression JC had found it more and more
difficult to get up in the morning, Justin continually had to drag him out
of bed.

"You know you got out of bed pretty easily this morning."

"That's because I was having a dream about some sexy guy doing naughty
things to me." JC stood up and moved his hands around Justin's shoulders,
"I opened my eyes and discovered it wasn't a dream." JC's hands made their
way to the hem of Justin's shirt, his hands delved underneath and traveled
the younger mans back.  He pulled the shirt over Justin's head and placed a
kiss in the center of his nearly hairless chest.  He briefly teased the
path of hair beginning at Justin's belly button with his fingertips before
reaching for his zipper.

JC raised his gaze to meet Justin's "Do you know how sexy you are?" He
asked softy, stepping forward and walking Justin to the bed.  Justin
stepped out of his pants and went to lie down on the bed next to JC.

"Muumm" he moaned as their lips met. They kissed for a while taking their
time and drawing out each movement.  "JC," Justin panted.  "I never knew
kissing could feel so good." He stopped speaking for a moment and cleared
his throat. "Maybe this is a stupid question but does it always feel like
this?"

JC smiled and ran his hand over Justin's curls, "Only if you do it right."

"I'm serious."

"I know" JC kissed him lightly on the forehead.  "I think it feels
different with each person, I've kissed people just to be close to someone,
to keep from feeling lonely and usually that doesn't feel very good.  I've
kissed someone because I needed a sexual release and that felt good at the
moment, but afterwards it felt bad.  Then I've kissed the people that I was
in relationships with, most of the time that feels really good.  But there
are varying degrees of kisses and kissing each person feels differently."

"I wonder if you feel the same way I do when we kiss?"  Justin thought out
loud.

"I don't know Jus, but if I felt much better I think I'd spontaneously
combust."

Justin laughed "Yeah me too." He kissed JC on the neck.  "You know before I
kissed you I never knew what the big deal was."

"I'm glad I could change your mind, Justin." JC replied running a finger
down Justin's chest."

"I get goosebumps when you touch me."

"Me too" JC said as he rolled over on top of Justin.  He ran his hands up
Justin's arms slowly and angled his mouth to meet in a kiss.  His fingers
traced the edges of Justin's muscles and he slowly moved his hips.  Justin
began to move underneath JC's body, their limbs tangled erotically.  They
explored the upper halves of each other's bodies neither one venturing
below the waist.

"Oh God!" Justin cried out, thrusting his hips against JC's body. "JC I
don't want you to stop, but you have to I can't take anymore of this."

JC rolled off of Justin's body.  "It's okay Justin I feel the same way, we
need to take time to get used to all of this before we take it any
further."

Justin sighed and leaned back against the pillow with his eyes closed. "I
didn't know it was possible to feel too good" he groaned.

"You've never been sexually frustrated Justin?"

"No, not really.  If I wanted some relief I just took care of it, but this
is different."

"Yeah" JC agreed "it is." He moved a bit further away from Justin's body.

"No, don't move away" Justin exclaimed rolling closer to JC.  "I want to be
touching you." Justin put his hands on JC's chest and rested his chin in
the crook of JC's neck.

"We should get a few more hours sleep" JC murmured into Justin's hair. They
pushed back the remainder of the covers and crawled under the sheets
together. JC switched off the bedside lamp and Justin resumed his position
snuggled up against his boyfriend.

"Hey JC?" Justin asked once they were settled.  "Was that Tom guy your
boyfriend?"

"Yeah, well kinda."

"Oh, well I guess you don't want to talk about it?  Huh."

"No, it's okay.  I don't mind.  I just haven't talked about this with very
many people so it's still kinda new and a little bit strange." JC ran his
fingers up and down Justin's arm as he spoke.

"You want me to tell you about my past first?" Justin questioned. "You
pretty much know it all though, besides it's pretty boring."

"Go ahead, then I'll give you all the dirt on me, but even that isn't too
exciting."

Justin talked about the girls he had kissed and how it never felt 'right'.
He spoke of the one time he'd had actual intercourse and how even though it
hadn't been unpleasant he felt something was missing.  It didn't meet his
expectations and for a long time he wondered what the big deal about sex
was.

"When did you figure out you liked guys?" JC asked as he gently rubbed
Justin's back.

"A few years ago, after the group started.  We had so many opportunities to
be with girls, they just didn't interest me.  I kept trying to make myself
feel something, but I just didn't.  When I questioned myself about it I
realized that it was guys that I was attracted to.  When I thought about it
more it made sense.  I'd found myself attracted to some of the guys on MMC.
At the time I was young and I convinced myself that I just thought of them
that way because I liked them, as friends."

"So, when you decided you were gay was it sudden? Was it hard to deal
with?"

"No, it wasn't sudden.  Like I said it took me a while to figure it out.
It was hard to deal with, I wanted to deny it and just make myself like
girls.  I tried and tried and after I went all the way that one time, I
finally gave up.  I decided that God wouldn't have made me this way if he
didn't have a reason."

The two men lay there in silence for a while both thinking of what Justin
had just said.  JC respected Justin's faith, he had lost his own over the
last few years. Although he did not believe all of the things that Justin
did he still had high regard the depth of Justin's beliefs.

Justin broke the silence after a few moments "Is it strange being attracted
to both men and women?"

"No, actually when I've thought about it makes sense to me.  Why should we
disregard loving someone because of their gender.  There is more to a
relationship than sex, and caring for someone and comforting them shouldn't
have anything to do with whether they have a penis or not.  Sex is just an
added bonus." JC paused for a moment continuing the thought process in his
head before he continued speaking.  "The problem with my last two
relationships has been that they have only been about sex.  I think I
forgot that there was supposed to be more to a relationship than that."

"Is that one of the reasons you had to think about us so much before you
would give into your feelings?  You wanted to make sure it wasn't only
gonna to be about sex?"  "Yeah, that was a big reason.  Plus all the other
stuff, jeopardizing our friendship and the group and then the whole
depression thing."  JC answered.

"Josh, I know you know that I want you.  But I want you to know that I'd
still want to be with you even if we never had sex."

Justin had been trying to be serious and to reassure JC.  JC recognized the
humor in the situation and laughed. Turning to look at Justin in the dark
room he said, "What happened to spontaneous combustion?"

"You know what I'm trying to say" Justin responded, teasing JC by wiggling
against his body which was pressed against Justin's own.

"Yeah I do, and its sweet."  JC said as he moved his head to nuzzle
Justin's ear. "You know I feel the same way about you right?" He whispered
as his tongue traced the shell shape of Justin's ear.

Justin moaned "are you trying to make me show you just how much I want
you?" He took JC's hand in his and guided it down to his boxers.

"No, I just like kissing you, I think I know how you feel" the word 'feel'
squeaked out as his hand brushed against the shape of Justin's erect penis.
"I just wanted you to know that I feel the same way too." JC managed to get
out.

"You do, do you?" Justin questioned with a snicker "I think I need to see
for myself."  Justin's hand moved from covering JC's to his boyfriend's
hip.  Slowly his fingers traveled to the opening in JC's boxers.  He
trembled slightly as he thought about touching another man's penis for the
first time.  His index finger met with JC's hot hard length then the rest
of Justin's hand quickly followed. As JC felt Justin's hand come in contact
with his penis he gritted his teeth.  Justin curled his fingers around JC's
penis and slowly began moving his hand up and down.  Finding movement
difficult in the confined space of the boxers he pulled his hand and JC's
throbbing organ through the opening.  "I don't think you feel the same."
Justin whispered breathlessly against JC's neck. JC gurgled an
unintelligible response and closed his eyes.  Justin continued his
movements, watching the pleasure on JC's face. Guttural noises were coming
from JC's prone figure every few seconds and Justin smiled at each one
knowing that the sounds were a result of his ministrations.  His own
painful erection was completely forgotten as he concentrated on bringing
release to JC.

"Justin" JC cried out hoarsely in warning before he reached his peak.  As
the orgasm overtook his body he thrust up against Justin's hand, bucking
his hips wildly. Justin stilled his movements and placed a kiss on JC's
sweat dotted brow.  JC lay against the pillow catching his breath.  Justin
quickly got up and went to the bathroom to wash the sticky substance from
his hands.  He returned to the bed with a damp wash cloth.  "Is that for
me?" JC asked.

"Yeah, I didn't want to make you get out of bed." Justin said handing him
the wash cloth.  JC sat up kissing Justin on the lips softly.

"You are too sweet" JC remarked as he cleaned himself off.  When he was
finished he tossed the washcloth and his crumpled boxers towards the
bathroom and pulled Justin closer to the edge of the bed.  He tilted his
head up to meet Justin's mouth and began to massage the younger man's back.
His hands slowly traveled down the length of Justin's back stopping at his
narrow waist, dipping his fingers into the elastic edge of his boxers.  JC
lay back against the bed, covered by only a sheet.  Justin crawled up the
bed and straddled JC's thighs kissing him all the while.  JC's hands
grasped the round globes of Justin's buttocks and pulled the younger man
tightly against his crotch.  When Justin broke his mouth away from JC's and
cried out JC quickly reached for the bottom of Justin's underwear yanking
them off. JC sat up pushing Justin back on the bed with a growl.  Glancing
at Justin's face to make sure he was okay with the newest stage in their
physical relationship he kissed his way down Justin's body.  His hand
grasped Justin's extremely hard member and Justin moaned loudly. JC's thumb
brushed over the mushroom shaped head and Justin whimpered from the
pleasure. JC kissed Justin's thigh and ran his fingertips lightly over the
silky smooth surface of Justin's penis.  Justin moaned again and as he felt
JC's hot breath caress his erection he came almost violently, his head
thrashing wildly in the tangle of blankets at the end of the bed.

JC moved to lie alongside Justin. "JC, I'm sorry" Justin said turning away
from JC in embarrassment.

"Justin, " JC said turning the younger man to face him. "Don't apologize
for liking what we do together."

"But you... and I..." he stammered.

"It's okay, we built up a lot of sexual tension, remember.  It didn't take
me very long either."

Feeling better about the situation Justin laughed quietly "we aren't
getting very much sleep."

"Yeah, I noticed that. "Lets take showers then we can lay here and talk for
a few hours before we have to meet the guys" JC suggested.

"Showers?"

"Yeah, you can go first if you want." Noticing the frown on Justin's face
JC added "Jus, if we shower together we will never get clean."

"True" Justin said with a leer.  "But it could be fun."

"Save me" JC playfully intoned.  "I forgot that you are only 19."

"Yeah, and in my sexual prime.  How will you ever keep up with me, old
man?" Justin teased.

The pair kissed passionately for a moment. "Stop it" JC said as they broke
apart.

"Stop what?"

"Being so damn cute, sexy, adorable and irresistible. You are driving me
insane." JC said standing up. "Are you getting in the shower?"

"You can go ahead." Justin offered, with a quick kiss of thanks JC walked
into the bathroom to start the water.

The men took their individual showers and slipped into Jeans and T-shirts.
They climbed back on the bed and snuggled against a pile of pillows, curled
together.  They lay together in comfortable silence enjoying each other's
company without feeling the need to speak.  Justin began thinking about
their earlier conversation and realized that JC had never told him about
his romantic history.

"Hey C, have you noticed that all of the people you've been in
relationships with have had guy names?  Nikki, Bobbie, Tom and now me."

JC laughed, "I never thought of it, but I guess you are right."  JC kissed
Justin's neck, brushing his lips against the defined collarbone then he
tilted his head back and their lips met.  JC's fingers burrowed their way
into Justin's curls and Justin grabbed JC's upper arms pulling him closer.
When the kiss eventually ended both men were breathless.  JC leaned on his
hand, his elbow propped up on the bed looking down at Justin.  "You know
none of them mattered as much as you." He brushed a fingertip over Justin's
slightly swollen lips.  "They were just practice, you're the real thing."

Justin looked up at JC his eyes wide, he shook slightly from the impact of
JC's words, knowing that he had meant every one. "I love you Josh" he said
looking deeply into JC's cerulean eyes.

"I love you too Justin." They wrapped themselves around each other and lay
there for hours, occasionally kissing and roaming each others bodies with
their finger tips.  They barley spoke, as no words were needed.  Each man
knew exactly how the other was feeling.

To Be Continued...