Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 17:01:58 EST
From: SweetAngel472023@aol.com
Subject: 'A Second Chance'  Chapter 17

'A Second Chance'
Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not know any of the people mentioned in this story and I am
not implying anything about their sexuality or personal beliefs. Everything I
write is purely fiction. If you are too young to be reading this, please
leave. If you are offended by homosexual material, I suggest you don't read
this.

Hello Everyone. I know, I know. Not only did I leave you on a cliffhanger, I
also made you wait ages for this chapter. I can be so evil ::grin::.

There is one more thing I have to do. I have to recommend a story. I stumbled
upon this a few days ago, and I spent hours on end in front of my computer to
read the whole thing. It's absolutely wonderful. The story is called 'Studio
in the Country' and the author is the very talented Michael. If you have some
free time, go check it out.

And now, without further ado, I present chapter 17.

    The sunlight was streaming into the room, bathing it in an eerie, yellow
glow. It shone brightly onto the king-size bed in one corner of the room. The
bed was messy, the sheets had fallen to the ground and the pillow was at the
foot of the bed rather than the head. In the middle of that mess, lay a
sleeping figure. The blond hair was damp and plastered to the young man's
forehead. His whole body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He was
shivering, and low moans escaped his lips every once in a while.

    Brian was sitting next to the bed, watching Nick sleep. He had carried
his unconscious friend up to his room last night while Justin had moved in
with JC and AJ. Nick had woken up once during the night, but was disoriented
and fell back asleep immediately. Brian sighed. It was almost ten am, time to
wake Nick up.  He leaned over to touch Nick's shoulder and gently shook him.
Slowly, Nick began to stir.

    Nick had been awake for some time, but had pretended to be asleep. He was
never much of a morning person, but today he dreaded getting up even more
then usual. Despite the nausea and the throbbing pain in his head, it had
taken him all but ten minutes to remember what had happened last night, and
another ten seconds to realize that he was in deep trouble. How could he have
been so stupid? Sure, there was the alcohol, but no matter how drunk he had
been, he shouldn't have kissed that girl.

    But now the damage was done and he'd have to find a way to apologize to
Justin. He tried to open his burning eyes, but immediately squeezed them shut
again. It was just too bright in the room, and the light had worsened his
headache. He cursed under his breath.
    "A hangover. Serves you right, you know. " Brian shook his head in
disbelief. He could, on some level, understand why Nick had done what he had
done. But on another level Brian was as angry as Justin was.
    "And a good morning to you too." Nick grumbled. He tried to sit up in his
bed, but after every movement he had to stop for a second to let his stomach
settle. Finally, he was sitting up and he even managed to open his eyes.

    "Do I look as shitty as I feel?" Nick asked. Brian couldn't help but
smile.
    "Yes, darling. Do you want some water?" Nick just glared at him.
    "If you weren't my best friend, I'd probably kill you right about now."
He threatened. Brian smiled again and got up to get some water. Nick sipped
is slowly,

    "Brian, how's Justin taking it?" He asked in a small voice. Brian shook
his head.
    "Not very well. I talked to JC this morning, and he said that Justin
cried all the way home and then cried himself to sleep at around 5am. He's
really hurt and disappointed." Brian said. Nick closed his eyes and tried to
breathe deeply. The room started to spin and for a second he thought he was
going to throw up. Then the feeling subsided. There were tears welling up in
his eyes. Brian reached down and pulled his friend into a tight hug.

    "What am I supposed to do now? He must hate me! I feel so terrible. How
could I do something like this?" Nick whispered in between sobs. Brian didn't
know what to say to comfort Nick.
    "You should talk to him, explain things." Brian offered. Nick nodded.
    "I know. I have to talk to him." Nick said. He got up slowly and made it
to the bathroom. Brian followed him.
    "You gonna be okay?" he asked.
    "Yeah. I'm gonna take a shower and then I'll go and talk to him. We have
to work this out. I couldn't live without him." Nick said, his voice firm.
But the look in his eyes said more than the apparent confidence of his words.
He was terrified that he had just ruined the best thing that had ever
happened to him.

    Just fifteen minutes later, Nick was freshly showered and clad in gray
sweatpants and a tight fitting white T-shirt. His hair was still wet and he
was rubbing it dry with a towel. The nausea was gone, and only a dull pain in
the back of his head reminded of his hangover.
    "Brian, I'm leaving." He yelled into the general direction of the
bathroom, were Brian was standing in front of the mirror, shaving.
    "Good luck." Brian yelled back. Nick nodded and pulled the door shut
behind him.

    A few feet down the hall, he stopped in front of what he knew to be AJ
and JC's room. He knocked on the door. JC opened.
    "Nick. What a nice surprise. Haven't you done enough damage already?"
JC's voice was cold, unfeeling. It hit Nick like a fist.
    "JC, please, I know I screwed up. But I need to talk to Justin." Nick
pleaded. JC's expression didn't change. He was just about to throw the door
shut when Justin appeared behind him.

    Nick gasped when he saw Justin. His face was deathly pale, while his eyes
were red from crying and rimmed with dark circles that bore witness to his
lack of sleep. His whole body seemed strangely empty and vacant.
    "Josh, let him in." Justin said, his voice tired and void of emotion. JC
stepped back, although unwilling, and let Nick enter.

    Justin led Nick into the living room of the suite and sank down on the
couch. Nick sat down next to him. JC stayed by the door, far enough away to
not overhear their conversation, but still close enough to be able to
'rescue' Justin if necessary.

    Nick closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and began to
talk.
    "Justin, I know that 'sorry' doesn't even begin to undo any of the damage
that I did last night. But I don't know what else to do, other than to tell
you how sorry I am and how much I regret what I did." Nick interrupted his
speech to look into Justin's eyes, waiting for a reaction.
    "You could explain to me why you would do something like that. I thought
you loved me." Justin's voice had an accusing tone to it.
    "I do love you. But last night I was talking to Brian about coming out to
the public, and it made this relationship so complicated. The fact that I am
gay and in love with another man seemed to put all these obstacles in my way
and I just wanted to be straight. That thought plus the alcohol...but I know
it's not an excuse." Nick had tears in his eyes now.

    Justin got up slowly. All the sadness and pain was gone now and left was
anger. He was trying to contain it, but he lost control and the angry words
spilled out.
    "That's what I am to you? A complication? How can you say that you love
me when you wish that you didn't?" He spat out, his eyes glowing.
    "But that's not what I meant. I didn't say that you are the complication.
I meant my being gay. I love you with all my hear, you're the best thing in
my life." Nick said hastily, in an attempt to calm Justin down.

    But to no avail.
    "If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't have said it. If I'm an obstacle
that's keeping you from living a 'normal' life, there's only one thing for me
to do. I'm stepping you of your way." Nick gasped.
    "You can't...you don't mean that..." His voice trailed off, interrupted by
the tears.
    "That's exactly what I meant, Nick. We're through, over, finito. I'm
breaking up with you." As soon as he had finished speaking he ran over to the
bedroom and locked himself in. JC sent a death glare at Nick, then ran after
his friend.

    Nick got up and left the room, not even consciously knowing that he was
doing that. His body was moving on it's own while his mind was somewhere
suspended in outer space. Then, when he was standing out in the hallway,
reality crashed down on him like an enormous flood. His legs turned into
rubber and he sank to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

    An hour later, he was still sitting there, in the hallway in front of
JC's room. The tears had stopped flowing by now for there weren't any left.
He felt numb all over. He didn't even realize when Brian approached him and
sat down next to him.
    "That bad?" Brian asked in a soft voice. It took Nick a while to notice
that Brian was speaking to him, but then he finally did.
    "He broke up with me." Nick whispered. There was a kind of eternal
sadness in his voice, and it made him sound incredibly old. Brian put his arm
around Nick.

    "Maybe talking isn't your strength. You'll find a way to get him back,
Nicky. I know you will. The two of you are meant to be." Brian said firmly.
But secretly he doubted his own words.
--------------------------------
There ya go again. Another cliffhanger. I'll try to get the next chapter out
as soon as possible. And never fear.... I promised a wedding and you're gonna
get one.
Take care,
j