Date: Thu, 25 Jul 2002 18:12:51 +0100 (BST)
From: Jezebel <eh_oh_po@yahoo.com>
Subject: Set Adrift Chapter 1

Title: Set Adrift
Author: Jezebel the Temptress
Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com

Disclaimers: This story is fiction and it is not intended to imply anything
about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal
knowledge about their private lives.  If you are underage for your area or
if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go somewhere else, if you
don't like the thought of two men together in a loving, sexual way this
isn't for you either.

Summary: Nick finds out that one small act can have severe repercussions
for a long time to come.  Who would have thought that one kiss could cause
so much pain?

Notes: This is my first story to the archive, I've written a little before
but no real slash in this arena.  Please send feedback so I know if you
like it and where you think this ought to go.  I know that sex isn't the be
all and end all of a relationship so it might not feature too strongly in
the main story but there will be some of it along the way.

The dates might be a little messed up but I wanted this to fit into a
specific timeline and all of the major events will still happen, just in a
shorter space of time.

Check out the following stories by the authors that inspire me:
On the Streets (BSB - Kevin)
Under Management (Nsync - Lance)
Brian and Me (BSB)
JC's Hitchhiker (Nsync)
Double Take (BSB)
My New Life (Nsync)

Also check out www.authorclive.com -- it's a great collection of a lot of
fab boyband fiction.

---------------------

The first time that Nick saw Alexander Sullivan he was a boy of seventeen,
the band had just returned triumphant from their European tour and were
staying in a hotel in Orlando before going back into the hard slog that was
involved with their gruelling schedule of touring and appearances.  Lou had
treated them to five rooms and had let them have friends or family over the
evening before, a kind gesture on his part as he wanted them to be happy
for the next few months that they would spend away from home.

Nick was in connecting bathroom between his own room and AJ's, he had
wanted to speak with the other boy and see that he was not the only one
that was homesick, but as he opened the door he heard the sounds of kissing
and saw two people who were obviously sharing an impassioned embrace.

The first time that Nick Carter saw Alexander Sullivan he was making out
with AJ McLean.  Nick flushed deeply when he realised that the two people
that were making his teenage hormones race were not a normal couple but two
men and while he knew that he ought to be disgusted by it he still felt the
burning desire rise through him as his cock hardened in the thin boxers
that he was wearing to bed.  He shut the door tight, putting his hard on
down to his raging teenage hormones, the ones that Kevin was always telling
him he had, the ones that made him kiss girls outside Austrian nightclubs
and keep three or four fans waiting for him at any one time.  Nick was a
red-blooded heterosexual male, there was no way that he was gay.

Forgetting the reason that he had wanted to talk with AJ and all thoughts
of homesickness out of his mind Nick escaped to the relative safety of his
own room, trying desperately to force his embarrassing hard on down before
he had to entertain any more thoughts about the two men in the other room
and how much further they had gone.  He didn't want to think about it, he
tried to block it from his mind as he had done the time he had walked in on
his parents having sex, and yet sleep eluded him that night while the
troubling thoughts of his questionable sexuality crossed his confused mind.

-----------------

Alexander Sullivan had been gay for as long as he could remember, there was
never a time that he had not wanted to be with another boy and as far as
his memories reached back there had never been a girl that he had wanted to
be with.  Even at school the regular games like kiss chase and truth or
dare had never really appealed to him, at least not unless it was the other
boys.  Mostly his parents had thought he was just a boy's boy, a slow
developer where girls were concerned, at least that was what his mother had
always said.  Whether she knew the real truth or not Alexander was not
sure.

He had known AJ since he had moved to the US with his parents when he was
seven, the pair had been friends through elementary and high school.  Their
parents had always joked about them being twins, similar ages and the same
name but no one called him Alex, or Alexander ever since he could remember
they had called him Sully, because that was what his Grandfather had been
called during the war.

When Sully had told AJ that he thought he was gay his best friend had
supported him in the way you always dream your friends will.  Of course
being his best friend AJ had gone one step further.  AJ McLean was the type
of guy that would try anything once and he treated his sexuality in the
same way.  AJ had helped Sully not only by supporting him but by helping
him with the first tentative steps into sexual discovery as well.  They had
hit the clubs together and looked for guys, never really picking up anyone
but having a good time and making out at every opportunity as teenage boys
did.

At nineteen AJ was still young, still searching for whatever it was he was
looking for in life and was still open to any suggestion.  When the now
popstar was back in Orlando they would go out to the clubs like before or
better yet stay in and get lucky.  Sully could see though that AJ was not
always in it, with his career finally taking off and this his chance to get
out of the poverty trap that he had been in for a large part of his life AJ
could not let the press or his growing fanbase discover that he liked both
men and women.  Alex didn't like labels of course, terms like gay or
straight didn't mean anything to a free spirit like him but Sully knew that
there was a reason other than distance that meant they were growing apart.
AJ was willing to give up that small part of himself that liked men, the
one half of his character that he had allowed to flourish so far, in order
to be the man he had always dreamed of being and to give his mother the
retirement that she deserved.  If it had not broken his heart Sully would
have been proud of that sacrifice.

The first time that Sully saw Nick Carter he was standing in the doorway of
their adjoining bathroom, he would have thought the kid was cute as he
watched with his bright red cheeks and his knowing smile except that the
boy was interupting what he was pretty sure was a last, farewell fuck.  The
last thing that he wanted on his mind was Alex biting down on his shoulder
so that he would not scream aloud, he didn't want that vision of the blonde
in his mind and yet for some reason as he himself came a moment before AJ
he could not help think of little Nicky and wonder if he heard their moment
of completion as he lay alone in the next room.


---------------------------

Nick spent the next two weeks troubled by what he had seen on his one
sleepless night, not only finding out that AJ, who he had always seen as
the ladies man of the group was having sex with a man, but also wondering
if he was that way inclined.  There had been some worrying dreams that had
occurred since his encounter late at night and Nick had some hot and sweaty
dreams, waking from them with a hard on.  That was not really unusual given
his age and his lack of a girlfriend but what troubled him more was that
Alexander Sullivan was the star of those dreams.  Of course he had only met
the medium built man a few times.  He knew that he was probably AJ's
closest friend and childhood companion but he knew nothing about the other
man, all he knew was that something in his subconcious wanted Alexander
Sullivan for himself.

When Nick was not off doing some interview or other for a small network
station or off with the band for a performance he was thinking about the
man that he had met only a couple of times and wondering how he could meet
him again.  He knew that his luck was in when he overheard Howie and AJ
talking late one night when they had been back in the states just over two
weeks.

"Did you hear from Sully yet?" Howie asked his friend as the two sat in the
shared lounge, it had two twin bedrooms coming off from it and it was AJ's
turn to sleep on the sofa.  "How is the job hunt going?"

Nick stored the piece of information away for future reference, he had
thought that being nineteen and not in an international band that AJ's
friend would be doing what most young men did and going to college.  It was
certainly the path that Nick would have mapped out had he not always known
he would be famous.

"Well, he's still got an interview at K Mart next week for a part time
position but he's thinking of hanging on for something a little more his
style.  I just wish that Lou had said yes on him joining the tour." AJ
said, he seemed a little annoyed at the time, Nick remembered Lou turning
him down.  Now Nick knew that it was because he had wanted Sully along for
more than one reason, he wanted not only his friend but his lover on the
road with them.

"You know how Lou is, he would rather that Jane didn't come with us either.
He just wants us completely focused on our careers." Howie said.  "No
distractions."

"He just wants us to work 24 hours a day." AJ said bitterly.

It was true, not only had Lou Pearlman been pushing them harder and harder
lately but since they had not made such an impact in the States as they had
in Europe he was working them even harder.  As if there was something that
they could do to make themselves more widely known.  Europe was an easy
market to break, they had a well established history of boybands and pop
music, Americans were a lot more choosy about there music and there was a
lot more of them.

"Have you asked about Sully coming out next month?" Howie asked.  Nick
wondered why he was so interested in AJ's friend.

"Lou said that we've got a few free nights next week, Sully said that he
could stay for a few nights." AJ said.  "Why?" He asked the same question
that Nick had been thinking.  What did it matter to Howie who was visiting
and when?

"Why else, he owes me a back rub." Howie said, AJ laughed as if this was an
in joke between the two.

Nick felt more of an outsider than he had in a long time.  He had thought
that the loneliness of being left out would have disapated now that they
were back in the US and he was not the only one too young to drink, in
Europe the laws were different and AJ had discovered bars and partying in a
big way.  Nick had been left back at the hotel to watch TV or do his
homework, now he felt just as small as the fifteen year old that they had
left alone.

With a stern sense of resolve Nick decided that he would try and find the
time during Sully's visit to get to know the man himself.  He would not be
left out anymore and he would start with AJ's friend, by the end of the
other man's stay Sully would be Nick's friend too.  At least that was the
plan.

--------------------

***********************

Sully had not expected anyone to meet him at the airport, he had the right
papers to get into the hotel when he got there and the boys had a tight
schedule, their few days off had been cut into by some essential
appointments that their manager had arranged for them and while he was glad
that AJ was finally getting the recognition he deserved for his talent he
did wonder at what price it came.  Maybe it was just sour grapes, after all
AJ's rising fame had cost him any chance at a relationship more than
friendship and Sully really did love Alex for more than his fame, even for
more than his sexual prowess; they had grown up together and that meant
that Alex knew him better than practically anyone else in the world, even
his own family.

The hotel was more modest than he was expecting but then the Backstreet
Boys were famous in Europe where they were mobbed on the streets but had
only minor success in America, Sully wondered perhaps if it were a case of
a prophet not being welcome in his home town or if it was just a tougher
market to crack than the European one.  He made his way in easily and was
surprised that his name was at the front desk when he went in and that
there was a key waiting for him, he soon discovered that there was a note
too that Alex had left for him.

Sully,

Sorry that I can't be there to meet you, something came up and we had a
meeting to go to but I'll be back later.  Make yourself at home and feel
free to raid the minibar, it's all on Lou and he will only find something
else to shout at me for otherwise!  I'll see you later, we'll go out ;)

Alex.

Sully smiled as he read the note while in the elevator on his way to his
room, AJ as he was now known still signed his name Alex, because that was
often what Sully called him.  Even after he was AJ to the rest of the world
and Sully became some kind of embarassing nickname for a grown man to have
the pair never argued over the title "Alex" because AJ McLean had earned it
a long time ago and he was the only one of the two that answered to the
name.  Sully was used to using AJ, everyone else did even the boys in the
band so Alex became the superfluous name for the McLean version as well.

As he found his room Sully began to wonder what it was that AJ meant by Lou
finding something else to shout at him about, he knew that the other man
was a little quicktempered and irrational but he wasn't aware of any major
conflict, he made a note to speak with his friend later.  Right now he just
wanted to sleep off some of the jet lag and rest up for the possible night
out that AJ would have planned.

--------------

By the time they got back from their unscheduled appointment AJ was pissed,
he hated the fact that he had not been there to meet his friend from the
plane and that he was a few hours late annoyed him even more.  Now they
were being told that there was someone else that they were supposed to see,
other things that they were supposed to do that week.  All of the
appointments just essential things that they had to do in order to build
their careers.

In the end AJ had blown up and told Lou and Johnny that he was not doing
anything else that was not on the schedule and that he needed some down
time or else he would explode.  He was thankful when the others agreed with
him, especially Kevin who was more worried about Brian who had been ill for
a few weeks with a flu like cold than anything else.

All AJ wanted to do was go out, have a drink and forget the entire affair
but as soon as he got to the suite that they were staying in he saw the
others flopping down, exhaustion clearly written across their faces and
knew that he felt the same.  The last thing that he needed on top of all of
this was a night of heavy clubbing, he just hoped that Sully understood.

"So, did your boy get in alright?" Howie asked as he nudged AJ slightly.

"I don't know D, I was just about to check." AJ said as he wandered out and
along the hall to the room that he had arranged for his best friend, he
knocked lightly then knowing that it was late tried the door, glad to see
that it was unlocked.  Without any further notice AJ slipped in and was
taken aback to see Sully spread out like a dog would taking up all of the
available space in the queen size bed.

Alex knew the easiest way to wake his best friend was to tickle him and so
he prodded gently at the exposed ribs, when he got no immediate reaction he
jumped a little on the mattress and bounced up and down so that he jolted
Sully over slightly, as soon as the other man regained some consciousness
AJ felt it was okay to attack.  After all, it was unfair to tackle someone
that was asleep and completely defenceless but half-awake was fair game.

"Whaa..." Sully said, trying to formulate a question in between fending
off the advances of the tickle monster that had attacked him.  AJ did not
let up until Sully took the upper hand, rolling the two over so that he was
on top and automatically beginning his counter attack on Alex's ribs.

"Oh god...Oh god...Mercy..." AJ said as he realised that he should
have planned this a little better and gone to the toilet first, now that
Sully had started to attack him he was going to pee himself if he was not
careful.

After a few more tickles Sully let up, but only when he was sure that Alex
was smiling and happy.  If Sully had one mission while he was on this trip
it was to check that his friend was doing okay and that the infrequent
phone calls that he got from the other man were not just pretty lies told
over the phone but that this really was what AJ wanted.

Sully rolled off him and the two lay next to each other, not touching but
just glad of the presence of the other one.  Enjoying the type of
comfortable silence that only old friends can share.  Eventually AJ broke
the silence, if only because he had something to tell Sully and then he had
promised to bring the other man down to the suite for a quiet dinner.  Also
Howie wanted to see Sully and tease him about something or other, although
AJ could not quite remember what it was.

"We're staying in tonight." AJ said, more of a statement than actually
asking Sully what he wanted.  Alex was pretty sure that whether he wanted
to go out or not it would be vetoed by management because it was
unneccesary and might mess with their already hectic schedule.  "I'm too
tired to go out.  Are you pissed?"

"Actually, I'm tired too." Sully replied, although AJ could not tell if it
was what the other truly meant or if he was just humouring him and letting
him get his own way.  Sully did that sometimes because he wanted to keep
the peace as much as possible.  "Jet lag, you know."

"The others will be having dinner in the suite later, and Howie asked me to
bring you with me.  Something about a back rub or something."

Sully laughed, it was a sound that reminded AJ of home and of simpler times
and he smiled at the memories that it conjured up, the two of them in high
school or just hanging out.

"Yeah, he wishes." Sully said.  AJ laughed too, not sure of the joke but
knowing that since he had joined the band there had been some kind of
rivalry between Howie and Sully that was a continual joke between the pair.
"So, what time is dinner?"

"In about an hour." AJ said, trying to hide the yawn that came out on the
last word.  He really was more tired than he had thought.  Maybe it was the
lying down that was not helping, comfy beds and warm bodies to cuddle close
too were not conducive with staying awake.

"You think we can nap for a while?" Sully asked as he watched a sleepy AJ
snuggle close.  He didn't mind holding the other man and had suggested it
for the very reason that they needed this closeness, even if they had not
talked about their relationship Sully knew that this was as far as it went
but that AJ needed this type of grounding every once in a while or else he
would go postal.  As Alex nestled in to the warmth of Sully's arms he
realised that he had missed this but that he would not tell the other man,
he wanted his friend to move on and not wait for him and had planned on
telling him just that on this trip, but surely a few hugs wouldn't hurt.

------------------

Sully woke to see AJ sitting on the edge of his bed, remote in hand as he
watched the TV with the sound off, obviously a Jerry Springer show which by
the looks of it was more like pro wrestling than a talk show, definitely
not something that he needed the sound for anyway.

"Can't sleep?" Sully asked as he sat up and leaned in close to AJ, pulling
the other man back towards him and settling so that Alex now sat in between
his legs, holding him so that he was secure.  "Do you want to talk about
it?"

"What?" AJ asked, not fighting as Sully took the remote out of his hand and
turned off the silent TV so that not even the picture could disturb AJ's
attention.

"Whatever it is that has you distracted." Sully said.  "Don't worry, it's
okay if you don't want to tell me."

"It's not that..." AJ began but really it was that, he didn't want to
tell Sully about the problems of fame because it would make him sound like
a whining child who had been given it's dream toy but didn't like it now
they had it.  Also he didn't want to think about what he was giving up,
namely the chance of love with his best friend, because of his career.
"It's just everything is getting to me at the moment.  No one big thing,
just that whole collection of small things that when you add them up really
get to you.  You know?"

"Of course I do.  Things like not sleeping enough and irregular meal times,
additional meetings and missing your best friend." Sully said, offering a
list of those that he had witnessed and he had only been there a few hours.
"Of course, I know that missing your best friend is the most worrying and
difficult for you." This was said with a smile and a joke which earned him
a slap upside the head from Sully but at least made AJ smile again.

"Goofball." AJ said as he pulled against the embrace and stood,
straightening his slightly rumpled clothes as he did so.  Obviously
embarassed that the pair would look rumpled. "Dinner time." He said as he
checked his watch.

"Okay." Sully said, standing too and walking to the door, it was only when
he got outside that he realised that he didn't know where he was going and
stopped to wait for his friend.  The peals of Alex's laughter at Sully's
blunder could be heard all the way to the suite the Backstreet Boys were
sharing.

---------------

Nick watched as AJ walked in, a large grin on his face and his arm around
his friend's shoulder.  Nick tried not to feel jealous, they were close
friends and this was perfectly ordinary behaviour for two people that were
as close as AJ and Sully, he was the same with Brian after all, but it did
not make it any easier to watch their camraderie knowing that he was an
outsider.  It irked him even more to see that AJ was playing it cool, not
really showing Sully the type of affection that he deserved.  Nick wouldn't
be like that, he wasn't as callous as AJ seemed to be.

If he was in a relationship it was all or nothing, there is no way that he
would blow hot one minute and cold the next.  Nor would he be able to cope
with a casual thing like the one that the two seemed to share.  He wasn't
looking for a brief love affair, Nick wanted the epic type of love, that
once in a life time love that was in all of the songs that they sang.  Some
might say that he was delusional to even believe it were possible but Brian
believed in it too and Nick was holding out for that one special person
that would be there for the rest of his life.

In Sully he was sure that he had found that person, or at least the closest
thing that he had yet found with the potential to be that one special
person in his life.

"You okay Nicky?" Kevin asked him, using the childish nickname that he
hated so much and pulling him out of the romantic daydream he was having.
"Your dinner is getting cold."

"Yeah." Nick said, a sigh as he watched AJ and Howie laughing over
something that Sully had said.  He wondered if this was how Kevin felt
sometimes when things got him down.  "Just tired I guess."

"Well, eat up and you can go to bed." Kevin said in his most fatherly tone.

"Yeah Nicky, if you're good he'll even read you a story and tuck you in."
AJ joked, earning him a glare from Nick, he hated the second youngest,
especially when he took the piss and it was even worse that he was doing it
in front of Sully.

Nick vowed there and then to fight for what he wanted.  He began plotting
as he ate the rest of his luke warm meal, there had to be a way to get
Sully on his own and show him that there were other, perhaps more appealing
choices out there than AJ.  Nick finished his meal with a determination
that he would get Sully.  After all he was Nick Carter, he always got what
he wanted.  Nick may not have been gay but Alexander Sullivan was what he
wanted and no matter what, he was going to have him.

---------------------

To Be Continued.