Date: Sun, 21 Nov 1999 18:35:16 CST
From: Steven is Cool <kholdnavyguy@hotmail.com>
Subject: Steven and Brian 4

Hey guys.  Here is part 4.  I don't really have anything to say, so on with
the show.

If you are 18, don't get caught.  This story does not say that any of the
celebrities mentioned are gay/ bi yadda yadda yadda...


Steven and Brian Chapter 4


I noticed that Howie was sitting quietly in the very front of the limo, away
from everybody else, staring blankly out of the window.  At least he hadn't
said anything.  I noticed every few seconds somebody would throw him a
glance, but he was too busy staring out the window to notice.  I wonder what
had caused him to react the way he did.  Oh well, I would probably never
know.
"OK guys.  You've been dying to ask.  Go for it."
"Who are you?!?!?"  Kevin, AJ, and Nick spoke in unison.  Brian remained
quiet, and I just laughed.  They were all too comical.
"My name is Dr. Steven Wright, head surgeon slash ER doctor at Herman
Hospital."
"You're a doctor?"
"Yes Brian, I am."
"Oh.  I guess I am lucky it was you who found me."
"So you are one of those guys with a lot of money who likes to open people
up and see what makes them tick huh?"
"Well Nick, I have never heard somebody put it quite that way, but yes.
That would be me."
"Wait till you guys see his house.  It is huge!"
"Well, you guys don't have to wait.  There it is."  There was a series of
'wow, woa, oh my gosh!' as I picked Brian up and out of the car.  Marie, my
maid, saw us coming and opened the door.
"Mr. Wright!  You should have called and told me you were having
company!  I don't have anything prepared."
"Don't worry about it.  And these are my friends, so you can drop the Mr.
Wright stuff."
"Whatever you say boss.  What can I get you gentlemen to drink?"
"Water." Was the unanimous reply as she walked off to the kitchen
chuckling to herself.
"OK Brian, you are starting to get heavy."
"Oh, I am sorry.  Here you are carrying me around.  I can walk, I just can't
see."  With that he slid out of my arms and stood on the floor.
"Well, you need your rest anyway.  LUKE!!!"  A few seconds later he
popped around the corner.
"You called Sir?"
"Could you please go through my clothes and find a sweat suit that would fit
Mr. Littrell here?"
"Yes Sir."
"How come all these people weren't here before?"
"Well, on the weekends they have the mornings off"
"Oh.  Steven, than..."
"I get it Brian.  It's OK."
"Steven, there is a question I have been meaning to ask you.  And I really
want to know.  I just don't know how to word it."
"Well, why don't you just be blunt and ask me."
"OK, well...um...are you...you know...um...gay?"  Brian cringed as he
spoke that last part of his very broken sentence and cast his face down
towards the floor.
"Yes I am."  His head shot upwards.
"You are?"
"Well, I thought I was.  Hold on, let me find my sexuality card and double
check what it says on it."  All the other guys laughed a little, but kept
smiling and looking at both Brian and I.  I looked at Brian...that killer smile.
"OK guys, you want to fill me in on something that I think I should probably
know?"
"Well..." Brian started but was stopped as Luke came back into the room
with the sweat suit.
"Thank you Luke.  C'mon Brian, lets go get you changed and into bed.  We
can finish this discussion later."
"But...OK.  Oh gosh, you're going to dress me."
"I've seen you before Mr. Modesty.  And Kevin, get that look off your face.
If I was going to try something, I would have done it getting him out of the
shower.  And you Mr. Littrell will get lots of rest while you are here, no ifs,
ands, of buts.  Luke!  Please prepare the downstairs guestroom.  Marie, a
glass of warm milk please.  Kevin, you go call your management.  If it takes
a doctors recommendation to keep you guys here for about a week, and
Brian possibly longer, come and get me.  The rest of you should sleep or
something.  You are probably tired.  Especially Howie, I hear hatred uses a
lot of energy.  Any questions?"  They all just looked at me in shock.
Soon, AJ, Nick and Brian were laughing their asses off.  Howie was still
giving me the death stare.  "What?"
"Man you just took over for Kevin!  You and Kevin should get along just fine!"

"Oh.  Well, I've heard that about you Kevin.  Now you guys be quiet so
Brian can rest."  I slowly guided Brian down the hall and into the room.
With his help, I lifted his shirt, revealing the beautiful body that had
been hidden underneath.  I quickly squashed those thoughts and put on the
sweat shirt, and did the same with his pants.  I needed Brian to get
better, and therefore needed to act the role of the doctor, even though my
hormones rebelled against my decision.  I hoped in the future I would get
to know him.  I thought it was truly amazing how well he had taken all that
had happened recently.  If only he would see me in that way.  No.  He
wouldn't.  He was a better person than I could ever be.  I lifted him into
bed and pulled the covers up.

"Steven, there is something I really want to talk to you about."

"And as an incentive, I won't listen until you have slept.  I'm the doctor
here and I know you need rest.  So, just relax and sleep.  If you need
anything, just say so out loud.  I have the speaker set so that I will be
able to hear you if you need me."

"I know I have told you this and you don't want to hear it anymore, but
thank you.  If it weren't for you, I don't know what would have happened."

"Your welcome Brian.  Now get some sleep.  The more you get, the faster you
will recover."  I closed the door and walked down the hall and into the
study.  Kevin was on the phone having quite a heated discussion with his
management.

"You don't need to know what the argument was about.  No you can't just ask
Brian.  He is sleeping.  No I am not going to wake him up.  What do you
mean we have to leave tomorrow?  Were staying here!  Brian is blind!  What
is there not to understand in that sentence?  Blind! B-L-I-N-D!  He can't
see, so no he can't do a stage performance."

I walked over to the phone and took it from Kevin.

"Hello.  This is Doctor Steven Wright."

"Who?"

"Doctor Steven Wright."

"Never heard of you."

"Well, that could be because you are not in the medical field.  Now, on to
business.  I understand that you want the boys to continue to tour
tomorrow."

"That is correct.  They must resume their tour.  Everyday they don't sing,
we lose money."

"Oh, this is about money.  I should have known.  Well, let me let you in on
something.  Brian Thomas Littrell cannot see.  He has not learned to cope
with this yet.  With rest, the swelling of his brain that we believe is
causing the blindness, will go down.  With that, he should regain his
sight.  His physical condition is not the biggest problem right now
however.  At this moment he is going through many emotional trials.  At
this time, he must be in a stress free environment.  He needs to heal.
This distress he is in now, will only make his physical condition worse.
Now, I ask you the question.  Would you rather lose the boys for, oh, say
three weeks, and then get them back rested and ready to work?  Or would you
rather get them back tomorrow tired and emotional for about a week before
Brian has a mental break-down, and then lose them forever.  Your choice,
but this isn't exactly a real big choice here."

"Very well, he has two weeks to recover.  After that, they will continue
the tour."

"You can have everybody but Brian in two weeks.  Brian will return when he
is physically and mentally capable."

"Three weeks!"

"I will not budge on this.  It could be sooner, it could be later.  With
all due respect, how much do you think you know about all of this?  How
many doctors look up to you everyday as somebody they want to be?  How many
lives have you saved?"

"Very well.  But I expect a daily report.  Anything less, and I get all of
them immediately."  Dial tone.  I sighed and hung up the phone.

"So I guess you got them on their terms?"

"Pretty much.  I think..."  Just then, I was cut off by the sound of Brian
screaming coming out of the intercom consol in the room.

Kevin and I ran out of the study and into Brian's room.  I ran over to the
bed and took him in my arms.  He was covered in sweat, crying, and had been
thrashing around in his sheets.

"Shhhh.  Brian, it's OK.  Your OK."

"NOOO!  Steven don't leave me.  Please don't leave me.  I love you!  Don't
leave me.  Please please!  Please don't.  Don't leave me, please Steven I
love you.  Please."

He slowly fell into a more peaceful sleep while I just sat there in shock,
still rocking him back and forth.  He loved me?  I took a deep breath and
carefully laid him back down on the bed and covered him so that he wouldn't
get cold.  Upon stepping out of the room, I turned to Kevin, "You knew
didn't you?"

"Yea, he told me while you were getting him released.  Steven..."

"Not right now Kevin.  I need some time to think."  He nodded and I walked
to the back of my house and into the backyard.  This was such a peaceful
place.  I had come out here many times when something bothered me.  As a
young child I can still remember climbing into a large oak tree that still
stood in the backyard.  But now things were so much more difficult.  I
stood there and looked at the large trees that reached up into the sky.
How long had these trees been here?  Since before the house was built, I
knew that much.  Then my mind turned back to Brian.  What was I going to
do?  Was I just the first person to be close to him, so he latched on?  Did
he really love me?  Did I love him?  I guess that is what he wanted to talk
to me about.  Gosh, he must think I am pushing him away with how I have
been telling him to talk later.  But I'm not.  I like him.  I think.  He
seems to be a great guy, but I haven't known him in a normal setting.  I
would have to know him before I could really know anything.  But what if I
really do like him and I am pushing him away?  I must have hurt him
somehow.  I've screwed up.  I would never just leave him.  And what would
happen when he went back on tour?  My practice and my life were here.

My thoughts continued like this for hours.  It had gotten dark, and it was
starting to get a little chilly.  I started heading towards the house, and
I noticed Kevin sitting in some of the patio furniture, so I headed over.
His face was deep in thought, and I don't think he heard me walk up.

"Something you want to talk about?"

"Steven, listen to you.  You have something really big on your mind right
now, and you still want to help me."

"Well, if caring is my biggest fault, then I guess I am a good guy."

"Well, since you asked.  I was thinking about Brian...and you."

"Funny, that's what I have been thinking about ever since I last talked to
you."

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know Kevin.  I can honestly say that I am so confused on that
point I don't know what to do."

"I don't want to see him hurt."

"Neither do I Kevin.  But you must understand.  I have never really met him
on neutral ground.  I like him a lot, but do I really know him?"

"I can see that you have thought about this a lot."

"My biggest question, assuming something happens, is what happens when you
guys go back on tour?"

"You could come with us."

"You approve of us having a relationship?"

"You have stood by him when most people would have simply walked away.  You
invited us into your home.  You have had the patience to deal with Howie,
and still be able to be in the same room as him.  You are a great guy
Steven.  I've never known someone like you.  I find myself wishing I was
more like you.  If my cousin has decided that the only way he is going to
be happy is with another man, then I would like it to be you."

"Gee.  You make me sound like a savior."

"You saved Brian."

"I call it being human."

"You don't take enough credit for your actions.  You are a level headed
person.  I trust you will do the right thing."

"Thanks Kevin.  I wished I shared your confidence."

"You know what you want, so does he.  If you need to wait, just tell him.
He will wait for you.  If he doesn't, I may kill him.

"Well, I am going to bed.  Did Luke get you a room?"

"Yes he did.  I think I will turn in as well.  Goodnight."

"Goodnight."  We went our separate ways and I went up the stairs and into
my room.  I made sure that my intercom was turned on so that I could hear
Brian if he needed me, and then undressed down to my boxers, and slipped
into the comfort of my bed.  So much had happened today.  I couldn't
believe it.  I slowly fell asleep on my pillow.



***5 hours later...2:00AM***



I woke up with a start.  I took me a minute to find out what had woken me,
but I soon found out.  Out of the speaker on my wall came the sound of
someone struggling, and then a muffled cry of pain.  I quickly jumped out
of bed, threw on my robe, and practically sprinted down the stairs and in
the guest room.  As I entered I stopped for just a moment in shock.

One bed was Brian, being held down by Howie.  Upon looking closer, I saw
the tears on Brian's face and his pants around his ankles and Howie shoving
himself in and out of him.  Brian was doing his best to struggle, but Howie
had him in such a position that it was doing no good.  I quickly snapped
back as I ran across the room, ripping Howie away from Brian.



"You BASTARD!  I told you what I would do if you ever hurt him!"  All this
was screamed in rage.  I couldn't even see clearly.  I pulled my fist back
and heard it connect to Howie's face with a loud crack.  With that I threw
Howie into the wall and ran over to Brian.  I took him up in my arms and
held him tight.  He clung to me for life.  I rocked him back and forth
cooing in his ear and patting his back, assuring him that it was over.  My
screams I noticed had brought everybody into the room.  As they looked
around the room, they figured out what had just occurred.  Kevin walked
over to Howie and kicked him in the groin ignoring Howie's shriek.  He then
walked over to Brian and began to stroke his head, talking to him in
soothing tones.

I knew that I needed to take control of the situation.  Brian needed to get
away from Howie.  "Luke, get that crap out of my sight and lock him in a
room where he can't do any damage.  Marie, run a warm bath and get me a
glass of warm milk.  Then both of you come back please."  They ran to do as
I asked, and I made a mental note to thank them for all their help later.
I soon heard the bath water running in the bathroom, as well as Howie
trying his best to break away from Luke.  Then came the vulgar language
drifting from what sounded like the laundry room.  I made another note that
I was going to need to speak to him one on one before too long.  Marie came
in with the glass of milk and even thought to bring some pain killer.  I
began to nurse this down Brian as he calmed down, but his grip didn't get
any looser.  Nick and AJ were still standing in shock as they absorbed
everything that was going on around them.

By this time, Luke was also back in the room, so it was time for me to get
everything moving again.  "Luke, have my car waiting outside in about an
hour.  Have the plane warmed up and waiting for us.  We are flying to
Colorado.  Arrange a car to meet us there."

"Yes Sir."

"Marie, please find some clothes for Brian to wear after his bath.  And
pack me for two weeks in Colorado."

"Right away."  With that she ran out of the room to do as I had asked.

"You guys go take a shower and get dressed.  We will stop by the hotel to
get your things on the way to the airport."  Then I turned to Brian.
"Brain.  Come on Brain, let's go get you a bath." I spoke, Kevin taking the
empty glass from him.  I stood up, Brian still clinging to me and carried
him into the bathroom.  I tried to set him down on the counter, but he
wouldn't let go of me, small sniffles still coming from him.  "Shhhh.
Shhhh.  Brian.  I'm here, I'm here.  I won't let him hurt you anymore.
Everything is going to be alright."

"Why?  Why did he do that?  What did I do wrong?  I didn't want him to.  I
feel so dirty."

"I don't know Brian.  It's not your fault.  Now, I'm going to go get your
clothes from in there on the bed, and close the door.  OK?"  He nodded yes,
and tentatively released me from his grip. I went into the bedroom and
picked up his clothes, noticing that everybody had left to do take care of
themselves.  I walked back and closed the door so that we would be left
alone.  "Alrighty, let's get you into the tub." I continued to undress him,
and placed the clothes on the counter next to him.

"It's a little weird to have another guy undress me and put me into the
bathtub."

"Yea, and he's not even your boyfriend."  I regretted it the moment I said
it.

"He could be if he wanted to be."  He said this almost whispering.  It
became very quiet as I helped him into the bathtub and turned on the jets.
"Steven, I'm sorry.  I didn't...I don't know what I was thinking.  I can't
believe I said that. "  There was a silence in the room before he timidly
asked, "Are you mad at me?"

"No.  No I'm not.  Brian, while you were asleep you had a dream.  You were
screaming 'Steven I love you, please don't leave me.'  Brian, I need to
know how you feel about me."

"I...I do love you Steven.  I have loved you since the moment I met you.
Everything you do and say just makes me love you even more.  I wish I could
look deep into your eyes and tell you how much I love you, but I can't.  I
can't believe the same lips that were just poisoned by Howie's filth are
saying all this.  I just...what am I going to do...I love you...I just...it
couldn't work...it couldn't, and it wouldn't be fair to ymmph."

I silenced him and his tears with a kiss.  "Does that answer your question
Brian?"

"But how could you?  I'm not worthy of someone like you.  You do great
things everyday.  I just sing.  You're such a better person than I am.  How
am I supposed to care for you the way I want to.  Hell, I can't even see.
I can't support you.  I have nothing to offer you.  I love you so much, but
there has to be a better person for you somewhere out there.  And then with
what Howie did, I can't even offer you that."

"Brian, I am not going to deny it.  I've known you for less than a day, but
I can already see you.  Not your body, but your soul.  If I like you this
much in a few hours, and can't wait for a few days to go by.  And if you
would just ask me to be your boyfriend, I might just say yes."

"Steven, will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes, I would be honored."  Brian had tears running down his cheeks and the
killer smile was overwhelming.  I leaned over and gave him a kiss to
remember that lasted for several minutes.  "Now, lets get you bathed, a
cabin in Colorado awaits us."  I bathed him being sure not to linger in any
one place too long.  After getting him clean, I helped him out of the tub
and pushed the buttons to turn off the jets and drain the tub.  I handed
him a towel and allowed him to dry himself.  "You know, you are awfully
cute when you are wet."

"Well, I try just for you."

"You, unlike some of us, don't need to try."

"I seem to remember you were pretty good-looking yourself mister."

"Flattery will get you everywhere."

"Promises, promises."

"Sick-o.  Let's get you dressed.  Man, seeing you in this all day is going
to drive me nuts."  I had finally looked at the outfit Brian had been
brought.  It was a tight, blue ribbed shirt with tan cargo pants.

"Maybe I won't be wearing it all day long!"

"None of that until we are both ready and have been together for a while."

"You know, not many people would say that to me.  Thank you."

"Well, I don't see you as a Backstreet Boy, I see you as Brian my
boyfriend.  Now lets get this cute butt of yours dressed so that some of
these dirty thoughts will leave my mind."  I helped him dress and ran a
brush through his hair.  "Would you like me to remove your bandages?  I'll
do it if you promise to keep your eyes closed."

"Please!  They are soaking wet and have been bugging me all day."  I
reached up and unwrapped his head, throwing the gauze in the trash.

"Alright sexy, lets go."

"You lead the way, obviously."

"Hopefully for no more than a couple of days."

"Well, I hope not, I want to be able to see you."

"Don't worry.  Everything will turn out for the best."

"Steven...about what happened..."

"I know Brian.  I know.  I don't think any less of you and I don't love you
any less."

"Thank you.  He really hurt me, physically and mentally.  I just can't stop
thinking about it.  He took something from me that I saved for the person I
love, and I can't get it back.  I feel dirty and cheap."

"Brian, as far as I am concerned, you didn't lose anything today.  We're
going to get through this together.  Don't you worry."  I decided to pick
Brian up and I carried him into the living room where Kevin was already
waiting.  As soon as he saw us coming he jumped up and ran over to us.

"Brian, are you ok?  I'm going to kill him.  I swear I am going to kill
him."

"I'm fine Kevin.  In fact, I am doing quite well right now."

"After all that happened?"  I winked at Kevin and he got it.  "Oohhhhh!
OK.  Yea, I would say you are doing just fine!"

I put Brian down.  "OK, I am going to go get some clothes on.  I'll be back
in a few minutes."

"Don't stay gone too long!"

"I won't."  I gave him a kiss and headed up the stairs, "Luke and Marie
come to my room please!".  I reached the top of the stairs and almost ran
into AJ on the way down.

"Where are you going?"

"To get dressed."

"OH!  DUH!  It's been a long morning.  How is Brian?"

"Why don't you go ask him yourself?"  He looked at me quizzically by
started on his way down as both Luke and Marie reached the top of the
stairs and followed me to my room.  "OK guys, I am going to be gone for a
couple of weeks.  You two have the house all to yourselves.  If there
should be an emergency call my cell phone.  And you two rest and relax.
Enjoy yourselves.  You live here too you know."  I spoke as I began to pull
an outfit out of the closet.

"How is the young man Mr. Wright?"

"Brian?  I think he will be alright.  Now, regarding that situation.  As
soon as I leave, call a cab and put Howie in it.  I want him out of this
house ASAP.  And as soon as he is gone, you two go to bed.  You've got to
be tired.  I want to thank you for all your help these past few hours.  I
know you are exhausted."  I was dressed by now and had walked into the
bathroom to fix my hair.  "Is everything ready to go?"

"Yes Sir.  The car is out front.  Your bags are in the trunk.  The plane
will be waiting for you at the airport."

"Good.  Thank you Luke."  At that time I heard AJ scream from downstairs
'Oh, that is too fuckin' cool!  Way to go Brian!'  I guess he heard that we
were going out.  If the general reaction was this good, it could work out.
I came out of the bathroom and gave Marie a hug, telling her again to get a
lot of rest and that I would call her before I left Colorado.  She followed
me downstairs and I saw that we were still short one person.

"Where's Nick?"

AJ whistled "Wow Brian.  You got yourself a looker."  I just laughed.

"What is he wearing?"

"The exact same thing you are, only the shirt is black."  The mention of
this made Brian smile.

"That was sweet."

"So where is Nick."

"Right behind you."

"Oh cool.  OK folks, let's go!"

"Ummm...what about the asshole?"  Kevin asked.

"He will be taken care of.  Don't worry."  I picked Brian up and we all
walked out to the car, saying goodbye to Marie.  We all hopped in and were
on our way to the hotel.  On the way, Brian fell asleep on my shoulder.

"I can guess who he is dreaming about."

"And who would that be Nick?"

"You based on the fact that he has a smile plastered to his face and a
bulge in his pants."

Sure enough, Brian did have all of those things.  "Well, based on that, I
hope it is me!"  We all got a small laugh out of that as we pulled up to
the hotel.  "Will you guys get his stuff?  I don't want to wake him."

"Sure."

"Thanks."  They all exited the limo and headed into the hotel.  I was
quietly humming when I was interrupted.

"You have a beautiful voice."

"Oh, I'm sorry Bri, I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's ok.  Are the other guys here?"

"Nope."  He sat up slightly and I felt his lips touch mine.  The kiss went
from small to one full of passion as his tongue snaked it's way into my
mouth.  We were abruptly interrupted by the opening of the door.  Had we
really been kissing that long?  Wow.

"I guess someone wasn't tired anymore."

"Not anymore I'm not.  However, some extended privacy would have been
nice."

By this time, everybody was back in the car, and we were speeding the
airport.  Upon arrival, everybody ooh'd and ahh'd over the plane.  I looked
over at Brian and my heart was crushed.  He was looking down as the ground
with his hands in his pocket.  I can't imagine how he felt.  I put my arm
around him squeezing his shoulder.

"You'll be fine Brian.  But until then, I'll be there for you."

"I know.  It's just so hard to listen to them.  All the things they have
seen I have wondered about.  I've not been able to see any of them.  I'm so
used to being able to see everything.  Now it's just black."

"Brain, you will regain your sight.  However, the more rest you get, the
faster you will heal.  You're going to sleep on the plane."

"But I want to talk to you.  There is so much I have to say.  I'm not
tired."

"Brian, you need your rest.  You're going to sleep if I have to drug you."

"What you think you can control me now?  Just because I'm blind doesn't
mean I am helpless."  His shouting caused the others to turn towards us.
"I didn't want to get involved with some sadistic asshole.  I can see I
made a mistake!"

He turned and tripped over a crack in the concrete, and lay there crying.
Part of me went out to him, but I was too angry to allow that to show.

"Well Brain.  You have certainly made your feelings known.  I didn't know
that making you rest made me such a bad person.  I guess I will go now, I
have a plane waiting."  With that I turned and began to walk up the steps
to the plane.

"Steven wait!"

"Kevin, if your cousin wants to be alone, he just found the best way to do
it.  When he feels up to talking, he may.  I will wait for you on the plane
for five minutes.  After that I take off."  I turned and continued to walk
up the steps and onto the plane.


To be continued...

============================================

OK, so what did you guys think?  I know that it is longer than my normal
ones, but don't get used to it.  The next one will probably be short again.
As always, please E-mail me, it really brightens my day when I learn that
somebody liked my story.


E-mail: kholdnavyguy@hotmail.com

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