Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 05:02:16 -0800 (PST)
From: Author James <authorjames2002@yahoo.com>
Subject: Tales of a Real Dark Knight Chapter 29

Disclaimer: This story, though maybe not in this chapter but in subsequent
chapters, will have celebrities in it.  I have no knowledge of their
sexuality and this is not intended to imply their sexuality.  This is all
from my own mind.  Scary!!  People actually get a glimpse into my mind!!!

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Angel and all related characters created by Joss
Whedon.  Copyright 20th Century Fox.

Batman, and all related characters created by Bob Kane. Copyright DC Comics
and Warner Bros.

X-MEN, and all related characters created by Stan Lee. Copyright Marvel
Comics and 20th Century Fox.

Star Trek and all related characters created by Gene Roddenberry.
Copyright Paramount Studios.

I don't know for sure if I will use all the above elements, but just in
case, I have myself covered.

In this story, which has been floating around in my head most of my life,
you will find many universes merging, as the above copyrights reveal.  I
hope you all enjoy this.  I appreciate any feedback that you may want to
give.  This story doesn't deal so much with sex, sex, sex, but more of my
feelings that I struggled with and am starting to come to terms with.  Part
of his background is mine.  I do hope that you enjoy it!!!

jmsotc@yahoo.com

Chapter 29 New Arrivals

	I couldn't believe I was going to meet the Backstreet Boys.  I
remember they were at the benefit dinner Joshua took me to but I didn't
have the chance to meet them.  It was exciting!  I was almost as excited as
I was when I met NSYNC.  The reason the excitement wasn't so great was
because my favorite Backstreet Boy, Nick Carter, was sharing a room with me
at the hospital.  I had already met him and he is my favorite Backstreet
Boy.
	"What time are they coming over?" I asked.
	"Around 1:00.  They are going to have lunch with me and we are
going to practice."
	"Sounds good.  I better do some studying now before they get here.
I would have a hard time concentrating if you guys were singing in the same
room.  I really enjoy listening to you."
	"Really?  What's your favorite song?"
	"Hmm, that's a tough one.  I have four favorites.  'Shape of My
Heart' is number one.  Then comes 'Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely'.
'Get Another Boyfriend' is one of my favorites.  And 'I Want It That Way'
is really good, too."
	"Wow.  I'm glad you like them."
	I reached over and grabbed a book.  I began reading but I couldn't
stay focused on the chapter.  I kept thinking of the visitors I would have
in the next few hours.

	When the volunteer brought in the lunches she brought in seven.
They must have made arrangements for the Boys to eat hospital food.  Why on
earth would they want to eat hospital food?  Not too long after the food
arrived, the door opened and a head popped in.
	"Wakey, wakey, Nicky, Nick."
	We both looked up, but Nick responded.  "Hi, Kevin.  Come on in."
	The door opened and in walked Kevin, A.J., Howie, Brian...and a
redhead I'd never seen before.  "Hi, guys."
	The redhead walked over to Nick and bent down kissing him full on
the lips.  "Hi, love."
	"Hi, Derrick.  It's good to see you."
	"It's good to see you, too.  I missed you."  Derrick sat down next
to Nick on the bed and put his arm around him.  I watched as the two held
hands.  It was a very sweet scene.
	"Oh, forgive me, guys.  This is Eric McCoy.  My hospital roommate."
	"Hi," I said trying not to sound too stupidly in awe.
	"Hi," they all responded.
	"So, what did the doctor's say?" Howie asked Nick.
	"She said I should be able to leave the day after tomorrow."  He
looked up into his boyfriend's eyes and I could see the love they had for
each other.  "And I can't wait."
	I smiled, and then turned my head.  A tear formed in my eye.  I
always enjoyed seeing two people in love with each other.  It brought me
joy to see others have that special someone, but at the same time, it hurt
me because I didn't have that.  I was able to experience it with Justin,
but now it's gone.
	I kept turned away not wanting them to see me crying such sappy
tears.  Man, I was in some kind of shape.  I listened to them talk and
laugh and enjoy each other's company.  They sang a few songs, which I
enjoyed listening to.  I pretended to be asleep.  So much of what happened
to me in the past few weeks returned to me.  And their songs were not
helping me deal at the moment.
	I rolled over and looked at them as they finished singing "Shape of
My Heart", which was such a powerful song for me when I came out to my
parents.


		Looking back on the things I've done
		I was trying to be someone
		Play my part
		Kept you in the dark
		Now let me show you the shape of my heart

	The chorus professed my feelings so much.  I tried so much to be
someone else to them, to everyone, even to myself.  By doing so, I tore
down so much of myself and was this character that I played for everyone.
My life became a story and only when the curtains were down when I was
alone, I lamented the play I was living.  No one knew what was going on
with my character.  It was awful.  No wonder I was depressed so much, why I
was so suicidal.  But even then I was alone in it.  No one would have ever
suspected that I was suicidal.  No one would have known that I wanted to
end my life.
	I've overcome most of that since I came to terms with my sexuality
and came out to my immediate family.  Still no one else knows: my best
friend and his family, my niece and nephews, no one that I grew up with.
That's the reason I came to L.A. I could be myself and it would be me
completely to everyone.  I wouldn't have to fear rejection from someone I
knew because I hadn't known anyone.
	The guys finished up and said their goodbyes.  Derrick gave Nick a
long, lingering kiss and left.  Nick looked over at me and smiled.
"They're great, aren't they?"
	"They sure are."
	My mind wandered to the other boy band that I had been close to.  I
wondered how they were doing.  I missed them.
	Nick got up and went into the bathroom, giving me something to look
at to get my mind off my problems.  Once the bathroom door shut, I was back
in my mind.  That is until the other door opened and in walked Alan,
Hailey, Brian, George and Hunter.  My eyes lit up.
	"What are you doing here?" I asked.
	"We came to visit you," Hailey said with a smile.
	Alan added, "We overheard Dr. Allison tell Dr. Israel about you
needing emergency surgery so we came over."
	"I appreciate the gesture.  You guys are very nice to do that."
	"So, do you have a roommate?" Brian asked.
	Just then the bathroom door opened and everyone turned to see...
	"NICK CARTER!" Hunter exclaimed.  "Oh, my God!  I'm your biggest
fan!"
	"Uh, hi, everyone," Nick said in a pleasant tone though you could
easily tell that it was awkward for him.  After all he was just coming out
of the bathroom wearing only his hospital gown, not very modest apparel for
a celebrity.
	"Guys," I said coming to Nick's rescue, "could you step out side
for a few minutes?"
	"Sure," Hailey said ushering Hunter out.  Everyone else followed
and the door closed.
	"Sorry," I said as Nick came back to his bed.  "I didn't know they
were coming over.  I wasn't expecting any visitors."
	"It's okay.  I should have known.  You had several before.  Of
course none of them gave me that kind of reaction.  The English guy, the
girl, your boss, and..."
	Nick was interrupted when the door cracked open and Hailey's voice
asked "Is it okay that we come in now?"
	"Sure," Nick replied.
	They rushed back in quickly.  I noticed Hunter had a hard time
keeping his eyes away from staring at Nick.  But, who could blame him?  The
guy was cute.
	"Let me introduce you to my classmates, Nick.  This is Hailey,
George, Brian, Hunter and Alan."  Each stood up and shook his hand.  "And
you all know Nick.
	"So, what's new with school?"
	"Dr. Israel is so amazing," Alan said.  "He claims to have
solutions to several of the mutations that we discussed in class.  You know
the birth defects.  I guess with genetic manipulation, almost any defect
can be averted or corrected depending on the age of the person with the
mutation."
	My heart leapt for joy at the prospect that so many people born
with physical disorders and handicaps could be made well through genetic
manipulation!  How exciting it was!  No more would a child be rejected by
it's parents simply because it was born with a cleft lip, or deformed
limbs.  Dr. Israel did have his heart into his work and was trying to use
it for good.
	"That's exciting to hear.  No more will people have to live with
their handicaps."
	We talked for about an hour about the things happening at the
school.  Not once did any of them ask what the surgery was for. They didn't
pry.  Could that be a sign of not caring?  Or perhaps it was their way of
letting me know they weren't going to pry into my personal business?  I
took the latter.  It's always best to give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
	Eventually they decided to go since they had some work to do.
"Maybe tomorrow we can work on homework here," Alan said with a grin.
	"Maybe," I responded looking over at Nick and winking.  Nick just
smiled in return.
	After everyone left, I decided to talk to Nick.  There were some
things on my mind that I wanted to question him about privately.  Not the
Batman fantasy he had, though personally I wouldn't mind knowing, but some
other stuff.  "So Nick, how long have you known you were gay?"
	"Most of my life.  I was always interested in boys all through
Junior High.  I remember being in the boys' locker room and getting nervous
when some of the guys would shower.  I didn't know if I could handle being
around them naked and not get hard."
	"I know what you mean.  I remember this one kid who I thought was
kind of cute.  He was deaf, but that didn't stop me from being interested.
He had a neat personality; except for sometimes he would act arrogant.  One
day, and I remember this as clear as yesterday, he was in the shower, and I
knew it.  When he came out, I had the hardest time not staring.  Needless
to say, he was very well endowed."
	Nick and I chuckled.  I couldn't believe I was sharing this with
Nick Carter, one of the Backstreet Boys.  I had always thought he was cute.
	"You know, my brother Aaron is gay, too."
	I looked over at him.  "Really?  Did he tell you?"
	"Well, yeah, but I knew before he told me."
	"Really?  How so?"
	"He never acted the typical gay stereotype.  But there were times I
caught him looking at the other guys.  He would even stare at me."
	"Who wouldn't?" I said with a smile.  Then I realized I might have
stepped over the line.  I already knew Nick had a boyfriend.  "I'm sorry,"
I apologized right away.  I didn't mean to...I know you have a boyfriend
and I would never try to interfere with that.  I was just making a
statement, that's all."
	"It's okay, really."
	I could tell in his voice, though, that something bothered him,
something I had said.  He rolled over and turned out his light.  "I'm
feeling kind of tired.  See you in the morning."  And that was all he said.

	The following morning, I awoke to find Nick not in the room.  I
couldn't figure out where he was.  Even after breakfast, which was an hour
later, Nick never returned.  When the nurse came in to get my tray, I asked
what had happened to Nick.
	"He wanted to move to another room early this morning."
	"Did he say why?"
	"No.  That's what he wanted and since he has celebrity, we oblige."
	The nurse took the tray and left.  But my worry did not go with
her.  Nick was obviously mad at me because I said he was attractive.  But
why?  Could he have some feeling of unattractiveness?  Or did he feel
uncomfortable with a roommate who thought he was attractive?  I had to find
out.  I couldn't let this rest.
	I stood up, which was the first time I moved off the bed since I
was at the hospital, and strapped on another robe over the back.  There was
no way on God's green earth that I was going to let complete strangers see
my hind end or the boxers that cover it.
	I stepped out into the hall in my bare feet.  The floor was rather
cold, but I dealt with it.  I walked to the nurses' station and requested
Nick Carter's room.
	"I'm sorry.  I can't give that information out."
	"But he was my roommate last night!  He's been my roommate for the
past few days!  I'm worried!"
	"Please, Mr. McCoy, everything will be fine.  Mr. Carter is fine.
There were no complications to the surgery or anything.  He just wanted to
be left alone."
	"Not good enough!"
	"I'm sorry, Mr. McCoy, it's going to have to be.  Now, please
return to your room or I will request someone to help you.  Do I need to do
that?"
	"No."  With that, I returned to my room.  I would find out where
Nick was staying one way or another.
	All through lunch and well into dinner, I sat on my bed and
studied.  I'm not sure how much of the information sunk in because I was
too preoccupied by why Nick may have left.  I know it sounds strange, or
even neurotic, but I kept feeling abandoned, like what happened with
Justin.  But, then again, it wasn't Justin's choice to leave me.  He never
asked to have a spell put on him in the first place.  It didn't change how
I felt though.
	Not too long after dinner was over, my classmates showed up.  When
Hunter noticed Nick was no longer in the room, I could easily see the look
of disappointment on his face, the poor guy.  Everyone unloaded their books
and studied with me well into late night.  It was about 10:00 before they
left.  It was good they stayed for so long because I got a lot
accomplished.  I felt I knew some semblance of what was going to be talked
about in class.
	Once they were gone, however, my mind jumped from Psychology class
to Nick.  I didn't want him to be mad at me, even if he didn't want me as
his roommate any more.  I could at least try to patch things up.  So I set
off down the hall looking for him.  I checked several rooms before one of
the nurses came up to me.
	"Can I help you?"
	"Yeah.  I'm looking for my room."
	"And who are you?"
	"Nick Carter was my roommate."
	"Okay.  Let me go check the clipboard."
	I smiled at my sweet little victory.  She hadn't even noticed that
I didn't say my name.  I guess in their busy-ness they didn't realize I
didn't give them my name.
	"Your room is down two more doors."
	"Thank you."
	I walked down the two doors and slowly opened the door.  If I had
knocked, the nurses would have wondered why I knocked on my own room.  I
figured since it was so late at night, they would understand my quietness
in entering.  I wouldn't want to disturb my roommate.
	I entered the room to find Nick standing in the window, silhouetted
by the light of the moon.  Softly, I closed the door and turned to him.
"Nick?  Are you okay?"
	"Go away, Eric."
	"What's wrong?  Did I say something wrong?"
	"Just go away."
	"Was it the statement that I thought you were attractive?  I
apologize if that offended you."
	"Please, just go."  Nick turned around and I saw the glisten of
tears reflecting the moonlight.  Something was seriously wrong.
	I walked up to him and put my hands on his shoulders.  "Nick, I can
usually tell when something is bothering someone.  I did something that
upset you.  I'm sorry.  Please, tell me what I did so I don't do it
anymore."  Nick hesitated.  "Was it my statement that I made about you
being attractive?"
	"Yeah.  I guess.  It was then that I felt great apprehension, like
bothered about it.  I don't know why I'm acting like this.  I never used
to.  I guess it's because of the therapy I've been going through."
	I couldn't figure out how physical therapy would be causing this
great apprehension, so I asked Nick about it.
	"Physical therapy?"
	"No.  My...psychologist."  And Nick turned away.
	"You're going to a psychologist?"
	Nick nodded.  I could tell he was embarrassed.  "Yeah," he said in
a quiet voice.
	"It's not a sin or a crime to admit you are going to a
psychologist.  They help us understand ourselves.  Believe me, I'm studying
to be one."
	"It makes me feel like I'm sick in the head when I tell people.  I
get these looks like I'm demented or something.  I feel so paranoid about
who to tell."
	"You don't have to tell anyone you don't feel comfortable telling,
Nick.  Don't let anyone tell you different."
	"But what about when they ask about going out at a certain time?
What do I say?  'No, I've got other plans.'  Do you know how Derrick feels
when I tell him I'm going out?  He thinks I'm cheating on him."
	"Then maybe it's time you told him who you are seeing.  He loves
you, Nick.  He will understand."
	"I don't think so.  My psychologist isn't big on homosexuality.  In
fact, my psychologist has been attempting to make me straight."
	"What?"  The shock in my voice must have been too much for Nick.
	"See what I mean?  Derrick would freak out even more?"
	"No wonder!  You're trying to change something that can't be
changed!  If he found out, he would believe you don't love him.  Why on
earth would you want to put yourself through that, as well as your
boyfriend?"
	"Because I can't stand being gay."

To Be Continued...

Wow!  What an interesting chapter!  We've discovered several things here
about Nick!  And so begins a very interesting story arc!