Date: Wed, 31 Jul 2002 17:34:46 -0700 (PDT) From: Author James <authorjames2002@yahoo.com> Subject: Trials of a Real Dark Knight 7 Disclaimer: This story, though maybe not in this chapter but in subsequent chapters, will have celebrities in it. I have no knowledge of their sexuality and this is not intended to imply their sexuality. This is all from my own mind. Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Angel and all related characters created by Joss Whedon. Copyright 20th Century Fox. Batman, and all related characters created by Bob Kane. Copyright DC Comics and Warner Bros. X-MEN, and all related characters created by Stan Lee. Copyright Marvel Comics and 20th Century Fox. The Vampire Chronicles and all related characters created by Anne Rice. Copyright Anne O'Brien Rice. Star Wars and all related concepts created by or based on the universe created by George Lucas. Copyright 20th Century Fox, LucasFilms Ltd. and Lucas Books/Ballantine Books. I don't know for sure if I will use all the above elements, but just in case, I have myself covered. This story has taken on a life of its own. From its inception a year ago, I had only thought it would last ten chapters maximum. As you can see, it has grown tremendously. Mostly due to readers emailing me and telling me they've enjoyed it or have received help due to certain issues addressed. I've enjoyed writing this story but it would not have been written without men and women reading it and telling me they've enjoyed it. I do hope that you continue to enjoy each new chapter as our hero lives and grows. I have received many emails from people who have enjoyed it and some from those who do not. I would enjoy hearing from you. Any emails you send, please tell me what chapter and story you are commenting on. Please note, my email address has changed. At the end of July, my previous email address will no longer be active. Thanks. authorjames2002@yahoo.com I also have several online messenger services. If you want to chat with me in real time, email me and tell me the services you use and I will tell you my screen name. Chapter 7 Challenge of Friendship I went around Los Angeles to my old apartment. It was occupied. I wondered who could be living there? What was their life like? Why did they come to Los Angeles? What were their plans for the future? So many possibilities in one person's life. A world full. It was mind-boggling. As I turned to leave, a cab pulled up and the back window rolled down. "Eric!" a familiar voice called out. I turned. To my surprise it was Matt, my best friend. "Hi," I said. I had apprehension in my voice. The last time I had spoken with him was a year ago. I had come out to him and didn't receive the most positive reaction. Why was he in L.A.? I watched as he paid the driver and climbed out of the cab. "Hi, Matt," I said forcing a smile on my face. "Eric, I need to talk to you. Can we go some place a bit more private?" "Yeah. We should have grabbed that cab, though." "Isn't that your apartment?" he asked. "No. I don't live there any more. I'm staying in a motel right now." "Oh," was all he replied. "We can probably walk there, though. What did you want to talk about?" Matt hesitated for a moment. "You," he finally answered. "Oh?" "I've been doing a lot of praying and talking to the ministers at the church about...you know...what you told me last year." I nodded. "And?" "And I don't know what to do! I love you, Eric! You're my best friend!" "And I love you, too, Matt." "But I love God! With all my heart! And I don't want to betray Him!" "I'm not quite sure I follow," I said. I actually had an idea what he was saying, but I wanted him to put it into his own words. It would help him to deal with it if he vocally spelled out what he was thinking and feeling. "I don't know if I can accept the fact you are gay. The Bible says so much against homosexuality. According to the Bible you are not going to Heaven if you have a relationship. And I worry about you. I don't want us to be separated for all eternity. The thought of you burning for all eternity scares me. I cry every time." Matt was truly sincere in his thoughts and feelings. He wiped a tear away as he said this. "Thank you," I said to him. "I appreciate your sincerity and heartfelt concerns." We walked for a few minutes with neither one saying a word. Matt broke the silence. "Eric, I want you to be a heterosexual. I want you to be normal." "It's not something I can choose, Matt. Research is showing that sexual orientation is not a choice, but genetic. Our bodies are predisposed for what our sexual orientation is. It's just like eye color and hair color. "And as far as being normal, what is normal? Normality is relative. It is an individual basis. If you are comparing me to a group of heterosexual men, then I suppose I am abnormal. If you are comparing me to a group of homosexual men, I am normal. Besides, since it is all genetic, why should something that people are born with be considered abnormal?" Matt did not respond. He was seriously thinking about this. I could only imagine the inner turmoil he was going through. It was good that I had done my homework on the subject ahead of time. It would only help him cope better. If I didn't have any answers or could not point him in the right direction, he would only stand firm in his ingrained beliefs. "Matt, what do you know of me?" He looked at me. "What do you mean?" "You know my personality and my personal beliefs and convictions, right?" "Yeah." "You know how I feel toward God, that I would do nothing to hurt Him, right?" "Yeah." "Good. You know me as a human being and a fellow believer. You know that I have not walked into darkness, that my hope is still in God. Do you think God would accept me and still welcome me into His loving arms if I willfully sinned against Him?" "Well...no." "I have done no such thing." "Then...you haven't been sexual with another guy?" I smiled a little. "Yes, Matt. I have." His countenance fell. "But it wasn't a lust-filled one-night stand. It was with someone whom I love and care about and plan to spend the rest of my life with." Matt looked up at me. I could tell he was questioning what I said. He was considering what I said seriously. Another good sign. Then he replied, "But the Bible talks about getting married first before sex." "In an ideal situation, in an ideal world, that would be possible. But we have neither one right now. If gays and lesbians were allowed to marry, I'm sure some would wait until they married before they had sex. But the government has not legalized marriage for same-sex couples. We are forced to make our own decisions, hold to our own morals and ethics." Matt was again silent. I was so proud that he was trying to be open-minded, not trying to shove the "truth" down my throat, not trying to convert me into what his image of godliness was or the organized church's image was. He was trying to accept it. I was truly proud of him. After a few moments of silence Matt looked up to me with tears in his eyes. "I can't do it, Eric. I can't accept it. The ministers have said it over and over that homosexuality is wrong. They've quoted Bible verses that condemn it and those who practice. I'm too much part of the church and part of the ministers that I can't accept it. I can't believe it's okay." My heart fell. I had to steel myself for the next words. I took a deep breath and said, "Then you believe I'm a sinner and going to hell." It wasn't a question. It was more a statement of what I believed he was feeling. Matt's head fell and he nodded to me. He sobbed several times. "I'm so sorry, Eric. I can't change my beliefs." At that moment I knew who and what was important to him. His beliefs were more important than I was. The ministers' beliefs were ingrained into him deeper than the friendship we had shared for years. In that instant, I had fallen from grace before Matt's eyes. The only way I could be redeemed was to give up something that I had no power to give up. The only way I could be forgiven was to repent and renounce something that I was genetically born with. I decided in that instant that I needed to be strong and unemotional about it. Matt needed me to be that way. He was not going to change his beliefs any time soon. His heart was closed to who and what I am and the concept of homosexual Christians. In a sense, I died to him, at the worst, because a lost soul dead is no longer redeemable. In the very least I became an embodiment of the enemy to him and all he spiritually battles against. Someone who is an "enemy" can be converted and saved. "Matt, if you cannot accept me, then you can't accept me. I ask that you not tell me over and over how evil and wicked being gay is. I ask that you pray for me. And be open to the voice of God." Slowly Matt nodded. "Come here." I moved to embrace him in a farewell hug, knowing that it would be the last time I would do so. He stepped back away from me. My countenance fell. What strength I had drifted away. Tears welled up in my eyes and then fell down my cheek. Without another word, I turned and walked away. I had no intention of looking back. I wanted to offer Matt some comfort, but he didn't want it. He didn't want me. I kept walking for some time, my mind playing over and over the events that just occurred. It seemed I had nothing left to live for. My lover is with another man, my family rejected me because I'm a mutant, and my best friend believed me to be an immoral sinner who didn't want me. What did I have left? I had Batman. Sad to say that was all I had going for me. Everyone who was important to me, as Eric, believed me dead or evil. People who heard of me as Batman were for me, even though many of them believed I was dead. The public respected me as Batman, with the exception of here, Los Angeles. And that was my motive for being here. I came to clear my name. I walked down the street. The night was clear and cool with a starry sky. The city and the night sky seemed to blend together with the darkness and pinpoints of light. In a city that had hundreds of thousands of people, I was all by myself. What did I have left to give, to show? No one saw who I really was. No one wanted to see the shape of my heart. They all prejudged me based on prejudices taught by society. They ran on assumptions without looking at all the facts. This war that I was waging with my life was one I didn't feel I could win. Baby, please try to forgive me Stay here, don't put out the glow Hold me now don't bother With every minute, it makes me weaker You can save me, from the man that I've become Oh yeah Looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I've played my part Kept you in the dark Now let me show you the shape of my heart Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical So help me, I can't wage this war Touch me now don't bother With every second it makes me weaker You can save me from the man I've become Looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I've played my part Kept you in the dark Now let me show you the shape of my heart I hear with my confession Got nothing to hide no more I don't know where to start But to show you the shape of my heart Looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I've played my part Kept you in the dark Now let me show you the shape of my heart (I never want to play the same old part) Looking back on the things I've done I was trying to be someone I've played my part Kept you in the dark Now let me show you the shape of my heart I returned to the motel room I was renting and donned my Bat-suit. It wasn't the one Jessica had given me as it was destroyed. It was my old one. It looked similar to the one Jessica gave me, but it wasn't bulletproof nor did it have special pockets for me to carry things. I strapped my old belt to my waist with its large pouches and headed out. It was interesting how old habits are hard to break. I started patrol with the same pattern I used when I lived here. However, I was not searching for criminals or vampires or other creatures of the night. I was searching for Jessica, the Huntress. I wanted to view the so-called video footage of me murdering Dr. Israel. I know I didn't do it, but Jessica had a hard time believing me. My intent was to prove to her that I did not commit murder. Jessica was my first friend in Los Angeles. She was the first person I could confide in and talk to. We had much in common, especially that we both liked boys. I had just lost my best friend of the past and I did all I could to keep him. I wanted to do all I could to gain back the best friend of the present. That I know I could do. I jumped from rooftop to rooftop and decided to wait for a few moments before I continued with my patrol. I wanted to examine the city and see what changed and what remained the same. Nothing was really new, which was exciting. I still had the sense of familiarity with the place. Without warning I felt a foot hit my back and I tumbled to the rooftop. I turned to see Jessica standing with her wooden stake out. "What the..." she said. "Hello, Huntress." "What? How?" Huntress stumbled over her words. "You're dead!" "No, I'm very much alive." "Oh my god, what happened?" "The explosion didn't kill me. It rendered me unconscious for two months as my body repaired its self. I also had amnesia for a few days until my mutation repaired my neural pathways. That was several weeks ago. Here I am." "What kept you from coming back?" "Macai." "You faced down Macai?" "I had some help. Marius, the vampire, Hyppolyta, queen of Paradise Island, and two wizards, Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter." "Have you seen Lance?" I nodded. "He's with someone. From what I saw, this guy cares about him. Who am I to break that up?" Jessica looked upon me narrowly for several moments. Her voice changed from relief to sternness. "Nice costume. Much darker than the one you used to wear." "Batman is a bit darker these days," I replied. Immediately Jessica's countenance became hard. "I warned you," she said, "that if you came back I would kill you myself. I'm glad you are alive, but if you are evil, I will do it." I was taken back by her sudden change in attitude. She had ample opportunity to kill me in England. I decided to ask her. "What prevented you from doing that in England?" "Council's orders not to." "What's keeping you from doing it now?" Slowly I climbed to my feet. "Not knowing why you are here now." Huntress looked on me narrowly. "What brings you back to Los Angeles, unless you want to die?" "As much as I would welcome death, I actually returned to clear my name." Huntress smirked slightly. "You want to clear your name?" "That's right." "How do you propose to do that?" "I want the video that records my death." "You may have a copy of it. I'll bring it here tomorrow night." "Good," I said turning away. "One question," Huntress said. I turned to face her. "Why do you want to die?" "I have nothing left to live for. My family doesn't want me around because I'm a mutant. I've lost Lance, possibly for good. And my best friend from my youth believes me to be evil. "The only thing I have left is the chance to win back your trust. That's why I want the tape." I noticed something in Jessica's stance waver. What I said touched her. But she only let it glimmer for a moment before she brought her shields back up. "Like I said," she said, "tomorrow night I will have the tape here." I made eye contact with her. "Thank you." Then I turned and leapt to the next building and returned to the motel. I stripped to my boxers and climbed into the bed. For the first time in weeks, things were looking up for me on the personal front. To Be Continued... It looks like Jessica has mixed emotions about Eric being alive. She does love Eric, as evidenced in her reaction to his 'death' in "Chronicles". But she is also aware of her duty to the rest of humanity, to protect them from those who walk in the dark. Let's hope she is open to whatever Eric may uncover.