Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2000 21:52:23 CDT
From: Colleen Hasiuk <reader_colleen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Tears In Your Eyes Chapter 6

Chapter 6- A Million Miles From Shore

*********

DISCLAIMER:  I do not know any of these people, neither do I know their
sexual orientations.  This story is NOT REAL.  If you're too young to be
reading this, please go away.  And, as I am a "chick", don't expect much
sex. I've managed to get this far without any, and I don't forsee any in the
near future, K?  Feedback is good (reader_colleen@hotmail.com).  Thanks go
out to Joey, Becca, Kief, John, Yuli, and Hamado.  You guys are the
greatest!!

While I'm at it, let me say "GO READ THESE STORIES!!!":  "I Need You
Tonight" and "Starcrossed" by Joey, "Superman Can't Fly" by Dayse,
"Remembering Petticoat Lane" by Becca, "Playing For Keeps" by Kimmer,
"Busta" by Yuli, "Kevin and Justin" by Peter, "Not Meant to Be/Beyond What
Is" by Kyle, and "Dirty Little Secrets" by Myka.

I have a webpage for this story now!  It can be found at
http://www.geocities.com/reader_colleen.  Please check it out, as the
chapters are posted a couple of days ahead of when I send them to David.
Now, after all that babbling, onto the good stuf!  *grin*

*********

A Million Miles From Shore

	Two hours later, Joey was up and about, so he headed over to JC's
room and knocked on the door.  Justin opened it, rubbing the sleep from his
eyes.

	"Time already?"  Justin asked.  Joey nodded.  "I'll get JC up.  See
you in a few."

	"See ya.  I'm going to wake up Chris and see what Lance is up to,"
Joey said.

	"He wasn't with you?"

	"No.  The door between our rooms was locked, too."

	"Maybe he just wanted some down time," Justin said as he turned and
went back into the room to wake JC up.  Joey headed next door to Chris'
room.  Once Chris was up and moving, Joey went to Lance's room.  He knocked
on the door, but got no answer.  Frowning, Joey entered his own room and
tried the connecting door one more time.  Still locked.  Shaking his head
in confusion, Joey picked up the phone and dialed Lance's hotel room phone.

	"Ring.... Ring.... Ring..."

	"Lance, where the fuck are you?" Joey muttered as the phone rang
and rang.  Hanging up the hotel phone, Joey tried Lance' cell next.

	"We're sorry.  The number you have reached is not in service.
Please hang up and try again," came the computerized voice.  Now Joey was
really worried.  He quickly dialed Chris's room.  Chris answered the phone
sounding preoccupied.

	"Yeah?"

	"C, did Lance leave the hotel or something?" Joey blurted out in a
rush.

	"I didn't see him leave, why?"

	"Cause he's not answering the phone in his room, his cell's off,
and the connecting door between our rooms is locked.  That's not like
Lance."

	"Maybe he's working on something and doesn't want to be disturbed,"
Chris said reasonably.

	"But to turn his cell off?  That's the thing that's worrying me."

	"Joey, I'm sure he's fine."

	"I know, but..."

	"Joey, your boyfriend isn't going anywhere!" Chris exclaimed.  "Now
come to my room.  We have a meeting in like, 5 minutes."

	"You okay with us?" Joey asked.

	"Joe, it was a lot to take in, that's all.  No sooner does Lance
tell us he's gay do you two decide to hook up!  It's not exactly something
I saw coming."

	"Believe me, neither did I," Joey laughed.  Suddenly, there came a
THUD from JC's room.

	"What was that?"

	"It came from JC's room," Joey said.

	"I'm going to check it out," Chris said.

	"Meet you in the hallway," Joey said as he hung up and headed for
JC's room.  Chris and Joey met up in the hallway and half-ran the short
distance to JC's door.  Chris knocked loudly.

	"What happened?" he called.  There came the sound of scuffling and
moving furniture before Justin opened the door, looking slightly rumpled.

	"Justin, if you and JC are going to have sex, at least keep it off
the floor!" Joey teased.  "Can't have our two heart-throbs scarred with
rugburns now, can we?"  Justin turned 15 different shades of red all at
once while a pillow came flying from father back in the room to smack Joey
in the face.

	"Justin decided to get smart and jump on top of me while I was
sleeping," JC said as he gestured the other two into his room.  "Why are
you two here?"

	"We heard the thud and wanted to see if you were OK," Chris said.

	"Yeah, we're fine.  We may have bruises later because we fell off
the bed and somehow we managed to move the dresser while we were wrestling,
but otherwise we're fine."  Joey smirked at JC's words.

	"Yeah, Josh.  Keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll believe
it," he said.  JC launched himself at Joey, tackling the larger man and
pinning him.
  Because of JC's lighter weight, Joey quickly reversed the hold and pinned
JC, sitting on the middle of the other man's chest.  JC squirmed around for
a few minutes trying to get loose, but he finally gave up and glared at
Joey.

	"Joe, you really need to go on a diet!" JC exclaimed.  "You're
crushing my chest, here!"

	"Sorry," Joey said as he got up.

	"Hey, where's Lance?" Justin asked, finally noticing the absent
member.  Joey shrugged.

	"I have no clue.  He won't answer the hotel phone, his cell phone
is turned off, and the connecting door between our rooms is locked.  Chris
thinks he's doing work and doesn't want to be disturbed."

	"That's probably it," Justin said.  "But we can't get started until
he gets here."

	"Can't this wait until tomorrow?" JC asked.  Joey shook his head.

	"No.  I want this cleared up tonight."

	"Joey, it's not that simple.  Lance and I are working on it," JC
pleaded.  "Please, just let us work it out on our own."

	"I don't like not knowing what's going on in your life, Josh,"
Justin spoke up.

	"Guys, leave them alone.  It's obvious that neither one wants to
talk.  They'll come to us in their own time," Chris said suddenly, causing
everyone to look at him in surprise.  JC smiled gratefully.

	"We will," JC affirmed.  "Just give us time."

	"I don't like it, but I'll respect your wishes," Joey said.  Justin
frowned but quickly agreed when Joey poked him.  Chris' stomach growled
before anyone could say anything else.

	"Oops," Chris blushed.

	"I'm hungry, too," Justin said.  JC studied the floor while Joey
studied him.

	"Any takers for dinner?" Chris asked.

	"ME!" Justin nearly shouted.  "And JC's coming, too."

	"No, I'm not."

	"Yes, you are, Joshua Scott Chasez," Justin said.  "Even if I have
to force-feed you."

	"I'll come, too, I guess," Joey told the others.  "I'll try Lance
one more time and see what's up."  Not waiting for an answer, Joey picked
up the phone and dialed Lance's room.  Again, no answer.  The cell came
next.  He got the same message as before, so Joey sighed.  Chris and Justin
led the way out of the room, Justin tightly clutching JC's hand so that the
latter wouldn't escape.  As they passed Lance's room, Joey stopped to
knock.

	"Lance?" No answer.  "If you're in there, we're going for dinner
now.  We'll be in the dining room downstairs if you need us," Joey called
through the door before joining his friends in the elevator.  The ride down
to the restaurant was silent.  Joey was worrying about Lance, Justin was
worrying about JC, JC was wishing he was anywhere BUT in the elevator, and
Chris was wondering what the hell was going on.  When the four of them were
seated and looking through the menus, Chris broke the silence.

	"Are we going to go clubbing tonight?" he asked the group in
general.  Justin was seated beside him while Joey and JC sat across from
them.  The empty chair at the head of the table between Joey and Chris was
a reminder that one was missing.

	"If you want to," Justin said half-heartedly, thinking about JC.

	"Joe, you never miss a chance to go clubbing- are you in?"  Before
Joey could answer, the waiter arrived to take their orders.  "Well?" Chris
asked.
  Joey didn't answer, or even give any indication that he had heard.

	"I don't think he heard you, Chris," JC said.  "He's too busy
worrying about Lance."

	"What's wrong with Lance?" a familair voice came from behind them.
All four turned to see Nick Carter standing there.  Joey's eyes widened
while the others smiled in greeting.

	"Lance is just being anti-social," Chris said as he stood up to
give Nick a hug.  JC followed, while Justin threw himself at Nick.  Nick
caught Justin and grinned down at his friend.

	"Hey, I could get used to this!"

	"What?" Justin asked, his face buried in Nick's shoulder.

	"Having the great Justin Timberlake wrapped around me," Nick
teased.  Justin drew back and smacked Nick.

	"You!"

	"Boys, boys," Chris interrupted.  "Where'd you lose the rest of
your group, Nick?"

	"I have no clue," Nick confessed.  "I had them all when we checked
in about three hours ago, but now I can't find any of them!"

	"Join us?" JC invited, speaking for the first time.

	"WOW!  I almost forgot you were there, JC," Nick laughed as he sat
down in the empty chair between Joey and Chris.  "You're so skinny that I
missed you!"  JC aimed a kick in that direction under the table.

	"Yeow!" Joey yelled.

	"Whoops.  Sorry, Joe," JC apologized, blushing.  Nick smirked but
soon had the smirk wiped off when both Justin and JC kicked him.

	"So, Joey, why haven't you said hello?" Nick asked.  Joey glanced
up, a funny look on his face.

	"Are you guys staying at his hotel?"

	"Yeah, the floor above you guys I think.  Kevin told us, but I
wasn't really listening.  I stopped after the first twenty minutes of his
lecture."
  Chris and Justin laughed while JC smiled.  Joey's facial expression
didn't change.

	"Why are you here?"

	"We're on vacation, and we thought this would be a good place.
What's with the twenty questions?"

	"Excuse me," Joey said as he hurridly stood up and fled the table.
The four remaining men looked at each other in confusion.

	"What was that all about?" Nick asked.

	"Joey's been acting weird for the last couple of hours," Justin
explained.  "He's really worried about Lance."

	"Why?"

	"Cause Lance is having some... problems... right now, and he won't
let us help him.  It's driving all of us insane!"

	"Ah," Nick said as the waiter returned with the food.  Seeing as
Joey was gone, the waiter made to take his food back to the kitchen, but JC
stopped him.

	"You can leave that here," JC said.  "We'll eat it."  The waiter
silently nodded and put it down in front of JC, who then passed it over to
Nick.  Nick smiled his thanks.

	"You think Joey will mind?" Nick asked.  The others shook their
heads.

	"He wouldn't want it to go to waste..." Chris said.  That was the
last word spoken as they fell into a comfortable silence and ate.


	As Joey ran for the elevator, his mind whirled in panic.  *Nick
said the others were here somewhere... I really need to find Lance!* The
elevator doors opened and Joey charged on, knocking into a solid body as he
did so.

	"Joey!" a voice exclaimed happily.  Joey looked up to see AJ
McLean, Brian Littrell and Howie Dorough standing before him as the
elevator doors closed.

	"Oh, hi, guys.  Where's Kevin?"

	"Out somewhere with Kristin, I think," Brian said.  "Why?"  The
elevator stopped and the doors opened, but none of the Backstreet guys made
any move to get off.

	"I've seen Nick already, you three are right here, which leaves
one."  AJ grabbed the doors just as they started to close and stepped off.

	"Our stop, guys," he said.  Howie tossed a smile Joey's way before
following AJ.  Brian stayed back long enough to give Joey a quick hug
before he, too, was gone.  Once they were gone, Joey leaned back against
the wall.

	*Which one is it?* he wondered.  *None of them look capable of
rape, but that doesn't mean anything.  You learn to be a really good actor
in this business.  But why would one of the Backstreet Boys- our friends-
want to rape Lance?* Before Joey's musings could go any further, the
elevator dinged, indicating his floor.  Joey headed straight for Lance's
room and knocked on the door.  There was no answer, but Joey got a funny
feeling in the pit of his stomach.  He entered his own room and tried the
connecting door.  This time, he found it to be unlocked.  Joey walked into
Lance's room, noting the darkness of it.  He thought he heard a noise
coming from the bedroom, but he wasn't sure.

	"Lance?" he called softly.  There was the noise again.  It almost
sounded like.... human whimpering.  Joey's feeling of dread grew with each
passing second and he ran into the bedroom.  What he saw there made his
blood run cold.

	Lance was lying naked on the bed, covered with blood.  His body had
bitemarks and cuts all over it, as well as various bruises and welts that
had obviously hurt.  His wrists and ankles were marred with vicious
ropeburns.  His eyes were red from crying, matching his face, which was
crimson from punches and slaps.  What parts of his face weren't red were
stained with his tears.  Joey's heart stopped.

	"Lance?" Joey called again.  There was no response.  Lance just lay
there, not blinking, not moving, hardly even breathing.  Joey suddenly
remembered himself and grabbed his cell phone.  Panicked, he called 911.

	"I have an emergency here!  My friend was just raped..."  When Joey
got off the phone with the dispatcher, he called Justin's cell next.

	"Justin, get your ass into Lance's room..."  Joey's voice trailed
off.  Justin sat up in his chair quickly, drawing the others' attention
away from their food.  He shook their eyes off and mouthed 'just a second'.

	"Why?" Justin asked.

	"Just get up here- NOW!"  with that, Joey hung up the phone and sat
down next to Lance, his hand unconciously reaching for Lance' face.  Lance
flinched, causing Joey to draw his hand back as if scalded.

	"I'm... I'm sorry," Joey said.  Lance didn't say anything, just lay
on his side, his eyes never leaving Joey's face.  They sat like that until
the others arrived.  Justin, JC and Chris burst into the room, followed by
the Backstreet Boys.  Nick had followed his friends from the restaurant and
they'd picked up the other four Boys as they went along.  AJ, Brian and
Howie had been on their way to the restaurant for food when Justin, JC,
Chris and Nick had come racing out.  They had impulsivly decided to tag
along, picking up Kevin in mid-run.  Kevin had just returned from his date
with Kristin when the others grabbed him and dragged him along.

	"Joe, what happened?" Justin gasped.  "Lance, are you OK?"  Lance
didn't answer, his eyes roaming around the room.  When Lance's eyes focused
on Nick, he started to scream.  Nick jumped about 5 feet in the air and hid
behind Kevin.  Joey glared at them.

	"Leave," he commanded.

	"What?" Howie asked, confused.

	"Leave," Joey commanded again as Lance continued to scream.  Joey
turned back to Lance.  "Lance, it's okay.  They're leaving.  I promise.
Sweetheart, it's okay... Lance, hush."  Joey spoke to Lance as if the
younger man were a child, soothing him until his screams stopped.  The
members of the BSB looked at each other at the word 'sweetheart' and
shrugged.  Brian was the first to leave after getting a promise from Chris
that he would call to tell them about Lance's condition.  Kevin followed,
drawing a still-frightened Nick with him.  AJ and Howie weren't far behind,
exchanging quick words with Justin on the way out.

	"Joey, what happened?" Chris asked, coming to stand beside Joey.
Lance's eyes focused briefly on him before Lance withdrew back into himself
and stared at nothing.

	"I found him like this," Joey started, his hand straying to Lance's
shoulder.  Gently placing his hand there, Joey watched for a reaction.
When there was none, he let out a heavy sigh.  "I think he was raped."  The
others stared at him in shock.  JC's face went white.

	"Oh, my God," was all he said.  "Lance, I'm sorry... I'm so
sorry..." JC's voice trailed off.  Justin immediately wrapped him in a hug,
sensing that his friend was on the verge of tears.

	"Did you call 911?" Chris asked, ignoring the waterworks.  Joey
nodded.

	"Right before I called Justin.  I haven't touched anything in here,
because I've heard the police can identify the rapist by the body stuff
left behind afterwards."

	"It won't work," Lance said softly from his frozen position.  "He
was too careful."

	"HE?" Chris asked.  Lance turned his head away and didn't answer.
When Chris looked about to say something else, Joey shook his head.  Just
then, there was a knock on the door.

	"Police!" came the call from outside.  Justin stepped away from JC
to answer the door while Chris located a tissue.  Three policemen entered
the room, followed by two paramedics.  Joey stood up from the bed to give
the paramedics room.  Two of the policemen started photographing the room
while the other approached Joey.

	"My name is Detective Jamison," the man introduced himself.  "What
happened here tonight?"

	"I came into my friend's room and found him like this," Joey said
simply.  "I didn't see anyone go in or out of his room, although we were
downstairs at dinner right before I found him."

	"Who's we?"

	"JC, Justin, Chris, myself and Nick Carter."  Joey's eyes were on
Lance and he saw Lance stiffen at the mention of Nick's name.  One of the
paramedics spoke softly to him and he relaxed again.

	"Where's Mr. Carter now?"  Detective Jamison continued his
questioning.

	"He left, along with the rest of the Backstreet Boys.  They're
staying one floor above us," Justin supplied when Joey drew a blank.

	"Do you know where they were?"

	"No," Justin said.  "Nick told us that he lost track of them after
checking into the hotel.  The only one who's whereabouts he has an idea
about is Kevin."

	"Why?"

	"Because Nick's pretty sure that Kevin and his fianc,e, Kristin,
went out on a date.  As for the others, I don't know.  Like I said, he
wasn't sure where everybody went."

	"Is there anything else you can think of right now?" Jamison asked
as Lance was finally loaded onto a stretcher.  The members of *NSync
ignored him as they watched the paramedics work.  Chris stood with Justin
while Joey walked over to Lance and took his hand.  JC was nowhere in
sight.

	"I'm sorry, Scoop," Joey said quietly.  "I broke my promise to
protect you.
  Will you forgive me?"  Lance tried to smile, to indicate that he forgave
Joey, but his face hurt too much.

	"Where are you taking him?" Chris asked the head paramedic.

	"St. Mercy," he said.  "Is someone going to ride with him?"

	"Me," Joey immediately said.  The paramedic nodded and gestured for
Joey to follow the stretcher.

	"Justin, JC and I will come in JC's car... where IS JC?" Chris
asked, finally noticing JC's absence.  Justin started to worry.

	"Josh?" Justin called as they entered the hallway.  No answer.
"Josh?"  Justin called again.  Still no answer.

	"Justin, we'll look for him later.  We have to go now," Chris said
gently.  Justin silently nodded and followed Chris to the elevator.


	JC had slipped away from the others when Detective Jamison started
questioning Joey.  He couldn't stand to see Lance in that much pain
anymore, to see the love and concern in Joey's eyes, to see the look
returned in Lance's gaze.  It was too hard.  JC soon found himself on the
roof of the hotel, looking out over the city.

	*It should have been me,* JC thought bitterly.  *But no, I had to
fuck everything up!  God!  Why can't I just have a normal life?* JC asked
God silently.  *Why couldn't You have helped me out here?  I love Lance.
So WHY did this happen?* JC felt tears well up, but this time he managed to
fight them back.

	*I won't cry,* JC firmly told himself.  *Crying won't do any good.
Joey and Lance love each other and there's not a fucking thing I can do
about it.
  All I can do is hope that Lance never tells Joey what happened... I don't
know what I'd do if Joey and the others hated me, too, cause if Lance tells
Joey, then he's gonna tell Chris and Justin... Oh, God, Justin.  He'll be
so hurt and disappointed in me.  I hate it when he's hurt, especially if I
caused it... How can I ever face him again?* JC felt a tear roll down his
cheek and roughly wiped it away.  His mind whirled for a few minutes more
before finally settling on a single thought.

	Almost without thinking, JC turned away from the edge and went back
to his room.  A decision had been made, and he wasn't going back on it.
Once in his room, he stood in the middle of it and looked around.  The room
was a mess, due to Justin's presence earlier.  JC mechanically began
picking up the scattered clothing and folding it into a neat pile.  When
finished, JC reached for his writing journal and tore out a sheet.  He
started to write, not even aware of what he was writing until he looked at
it when he was done.

	JC re-read what he wrote and started to cry.  He sat on his bed,
sobs wracking his slender body until he literally felt that there was no
more moisture in his body.  He then went into his luggage and pulled out a
large pocket knife that he had bought in Switzerland years ago.  He popped
it open and studied the blade to make sure it was sharp enough.  Then, he
went into the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water.  This way, if he
didn't bleed to death, he'd drown.  Either way, he didn't care.  Finally,
everything was ready.  JC went back into the bedroom and placed the letter
where the guys would be sure to see it when they eventually came to check
on him.  Once the letter was in place, JC took a deep breath.  *Almost
there,* he told himself.

	JC entered the bathroom and lowered himself, fully clothed, into
the tub.  The knife remained in his hand, open, ready for use.  He slowly
drew the blade across one wrist, watching the blood spurt up from the cut.
He'd once read that if you didn't cut the arteries, it wouldn't work, so JC
made sure that he cut the arteries in his wrist.  When he was satisfied, he
switched hands and sliced open the other wrist.  JC sat back against the
tub and watched the blood spill down his wrists, turning the water bright
red.  JC felt fuzzy, like he was floating.  He smiled softly and closed his
eyes, never hearing the door in the other room open and Justin's voice call
out.


	"Josh?"  There was no answer, so Justin stepped farther into the
room.  The bathroom light was on, but other than that, there was no sign of
JC.  He and Chris had just come back from the hospital, Joey having sent
them away.

	"You're worried about JC, so go back to the hotel and look for him,
J," Joey said.  Justin had started to protest, but Joey wasn't listening.
"Go," Joey commanded.  "You guys can't do anything here, anyway.  I'll call
you when the doctor comes with news, I promise."  Reluctantly, Chris and
Justin had left.  Chris was downstairs, checking to see if JC had left the
hotel that night while Justin checked JC's room.

	"Josh?" Justin called again.  Still, no answer.  Justin noticed a
piece of paper lying on the neatly made bed, but thought nothing of it.  He
saw that the bathroom light was on, so he walked towards the bathroom,
feeling a sudden sense of dread come over him.  Slowly, he opened the door
and peered inside.

	"JC!!!" Justin screamed, seeing JC's almost lifeless body in the
bathtub, bright red water surrounding him.  "No, JC, don't do this!  JC,
please, don't leave me!  JOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!"