Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2001 20:35:58 +0000
From: Dannii Ree <raindrops79@hotmail.com>
Subject: "the love we have" chapter 14 - 16

Okay, I don't have much to say. Just that I'm going on vacation for a few
days, therefore I send out three chapters today. You know the rest... and
if you don't, just read the notes in chapter 13:). Feedback, please!!


Chapter 14 by Dannii


About thirty minutes later, Justin met JC in front of the classroom where
they were going to have their composition lessons from now on. Justin went
over to JC with an exited smile on his face. JC looked at him and grinned.

"There you are! What's up, you seem so exited."

"Guess what?" Justin asked. "I have a new teacher for the drawing class. I
mean, the schedule said it was going to be a Mrs. McGrath, but it seems as
if she quit her job very sudden, and now Chris is teaching us. I mean
Mr. Kirkpatrick, but he told us to call him Chris. He's really cool, like
you said. Wow, I can't wait for the classes to start! I think I love
college! And the best thing is that I don't have to buy anything for the
art classes, I already have all the supplies we need. I only need a new
camera for photography."

JC laughed at Justin's enthusiasm. "That's great, Justin. So, what do you
say, do you want to go for some ice cream with me after the composition
class? It's so warm, and we could celebrate your first day at college."

Justin smiled back at him warmly. "Yeah, that sounds nice. But lets go in,
I think they're about to start."

He followed JC into the classroom, and they chose two chairs next to each
other and began to listen to the Professor's speech.

**********

Justin put the rest of his ice cream cone into his mouth and swallowed
loudly, which caused JC to grin at him.

"What's up?" Justin wanted to know. JC grinned even more.

"Nothing really. You just have ice cream in your face." Immediately
Justin's hand went up to his face to wipe it away.

"Where? At my mouth?" JC nodded.

"Yes, right above your lips." He watched as Justin wiped around aimlessly,
but the ice cream was still there when he was finished.

"Is it gone?" JC shook his head.

"Nope. Here, let me help you." He leaned forward and wiped the small spot
away with his thumb. Justin's breath caught in his throat when he felt JC
touch his face, and he stared at him. JC stared back, his hand still on
Justin's face, frozen, when they heard a familiar voice from behind
Justin's back.

"Now look who we have here!" JC looked up and smiled at Tyler while he
moved his hand away from Justin's face.

"Hey Ty. What's up?"

"Nothing really", Tyler replied and sat down beside Justin. "I was on my
way home when I saw your car outside. I thought we could compare our
schedules to see if we have any classes together."

"Oh, that's a good idea", Justin said and searched through his backpack for
the paper that had been given to him in the morning. "I haven't really
looked on it so far." JC took it from his hand and skimmed it through.

"Damn", he said, "we only have one class together, Curly. I really thought
it was more."

"Which one?" Justin asked.

"Composition. I thought we'd have music therapy together, but I forgot that
I'm in the advanced class now."

Justin pouted for a moment, but then he thought <Maybe it's for the best.
Otherwise I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my classes, with him sitting
beside me all the time.> They saw that Tyler and JC also had one class
together, but Tyler and Justin didn't.

A few minutes later, Justin and JC said goodbye to Tyler and went back to
JC's car to drive home. On the way to the parking lot they suddenly heard
somebody call.

"Hey, wait a second!" The two boys turned around and saw a girl approach
them. She was about 5'4'' small and had long, blond hair. She looked
vaguely familiar to Justin, but he didn't know from where.

"Hi", she said breathlessly when she was standing in front of them. JC
looked at Justin, who just shrugged.

"Hi", they both answered and waited for the girl to say something. She
turned to Justin and smiled at him.

"I'm Britney. Well... I saw you in drawing class today, I was sitting a few
chairs away." Now Justin remembered. She was the one who had been staring
at him all the time.  "I was wondering if... well, I forgot to write down
the supplies we need for class, and I can't remember all of them. I thought
that maybe you could tell me what they were?"

JC had to hold himself back not to snort. He doubted that she really forgot
to write them down; it was obvious that she just needed a reason to talk to
Justin. <It's just like I told him>, he thought. <His first day, and
already the girls want him. Now why am I so jealous? It's not that I own
him, he can do what he wants.> He watched as Justin smiled at the girl
apologetically.

"No, sorry, I didn't write them down either, cause I already have all the
supplies at home."

JC couldn't help but smile when he heard Justin refer to his father's house
as home'. He was happy to hear that Justin already felt home here. He saw
Britney's disappointed expression, but a second later she smiled again.

"Oh, that doesn't matter. I'll just ask somebody else. - So I guess we'll
see each other Wednesday in class, right?" Justin nodded.

"Yeah, I think so. See you then."

"Okay, bye." She turned around and walked away, and JC looked at Justin
curious.

"What?" Justin wanted to know.


"Well... you tell her that you have all the supplies at home, what means
that you must remember them - but then you tell her that you don't remember
what they are?" Justin blushed.

"Yeah, well... I didn't really want to talk to her. She's been staring at
me all the time during class today, and to be honest, she scares me a bit.
She's so forward. And she's not really my type. Plus, I saw her writing
everything down while Chris talked." Now he grinned.

"I told you that the girls would love you", JC said while he unlocked the
doors to his car and they got in.

"So, and now? Home?" Justin nodded.

"Yes please. I really need a shower. Or, much better, a cooling of in the
pool. You up for it?"

<Do you have to ask?> JC thought. <I never would miss the opportunity to
see you half- naked.>

"Jace? Hello? Somebody home?" Justin waved at him.

"What? Oh, sorry. Yeah, sure I'm up for it."  <I could really need a
cooling off.>

They drove in silence for a few minutes, until JC broke it.

"So, Curly, tell me... you said that that Britney girl isn't your type,
although she doesn't look bad. What is your type then?", he asked just as
they pulled into their driveway. JC cut off the engine and waited for
Justin's answer.

"You know," Justin answered while he opened the door. "A week ago, I really
thought that my type were girls with long blond hair. But now I think that
I go for persons with brown hair and blond highlights."With that, he jumped
out of the car, and JC could do nothing but look after him with an open
mouth.

<Did he just say *person*?>

TBC...




Chapter 15 by Megan


JC sat in his car for the next five minutes now able to move.  He had brown
hair.  And it had blond highlights in it.  Did Justin mean him?  <No, he
couldn't have, he's not gay, right?> JC asked himself.  When he was finally
able to walk, he got out of the car and walked slowly into the house.

When he got inside, he searched downstairs for Justin, but didn't find him.
He then went up to his room, and noticed that the bathroom door was locked.
<So that's where he is,> JC thought to himself, wishing that Justin hadn't
run away from him so quickly.

He heard the shower start and sighed.  He'd have to wait to talk to Justin.
He figured he might as well do something while he waited.  He changed into
a tee shirt and shorts, grabbed a basketball from his room, and headed down
to the driveway.


Justin stepped into the cool shower, cursing himself.  <What is going on?>
he asked himself, <now I can't even be around JC without getting hard.>He
stayed in the shower until he started to shiver from the freezing water.
He got out and dried off, before wrapping the towel around his waist.  He
walked into his room and put on some pajama pants and a tee shirt, wanting
to be comfortable.  He grabbed his journal before walking downstairs and
into the kitchen for some water.

He wondered where JC had gone.  <Probably out with his friends.  I'm sure
my comment scared him off,> Justin thought to himself.  He suddenly wished
that he hadn't said it.  But he couldn't take it back now.

He made his way through the front hall, planning to sit on the swing on the
front porch and think.  He froze when he saw JC out playing basketball.
Justin wasn't sure if he could face him yet.  But he figured if JC came
over to talk to him, it would be ok.

He opened the front door as quietly as possible, not wanting JC to notice
him yet.  He moved over to the swing and sat down, sitting indian-style,
his journal in his lap.  He opened it to a blank page and began to
write. He'd neglected to write in his journal since he'd moved into JC's
house.  He'd had so many other things on his mind.  The last entry was
written on the night before he left Tennessee.  He'd been so worried that
he'd be teased in Orlando too.  But everyone was so accepting and caring.
JC's friends had taken him in and now he was one of them.  The girls'
reaction to him earlier that day had been hard for him to believe.  <Why do
all the girls want me all of the sudden?> he asked himself.

He probably had JC to thank for that.  JC hadn't changed Justin's physical
appearance, he wouldn't even let Justin change his hair.  "The curls are
beautiful, Justin, don't cut them," JC had said.  And that had been the end
of that.

The part of Justin that JC had changed was on the inside.  When JC had
accepted Justin into his house with out even knowing him, he'd helped build
Justin's trust in other people.  JC had also helped him be more confident
about his talents.  He was still a little nervous about showing his work to
Chris, but he was sure that JC would get rid of his nervousness with a
little pep talk.

Justin was so grateful that JC had become a part of his life.  With out JC,
he'd probably still be afraid of anyone he didn't know.  He'd be afraid to
let his real personality out.  But he did have JC.

He looked up and watched JC shoot hoops for a minute.  He watched JC get a
concentrated look on his face as he aimed.  He noticed how the muscles in
JC's arms flexed as he shot the ball.

Justin wasn't sure of many things in his life at that point.  But there was
one thing that he was sure of.  He wasn't looking at JC as just a friend
anymore, and it was scaring the hell out of him.


JC could feel someone watching him.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw
Justin sitting on the porch swing.  He continued to play, pretending that
he didn't know that Justin was watching him. He tried to think of something
to say to Justin.  But he didn't know what to do.  He decided to take a
break so he put the ball down in the grass and sat down beside it, his back
to Justin.  The front yard sloped down to the street quite steeply.  There
were a few trees beside that road that blocked the view of the house form
the road.  Those trees had been there since JC was born.  He remembered
climbing those trees and building forts in them with Joey and Steve when he
was younger.  He wondered if he could still climb.

Suddenly, he stood up, turning to see Justin still looking at him.  JC
smiled at him and the saw Justin blush and look down to his lap.

"Come here," JC said to Justin before turning back around and walking down
the slope of the lawn.

Justin wasn't sure what to do.  He wanted to be around JC, but he wasn't
sure what to say.  He hadn't gotten much thinking done and he'd written
next to nothing in his journal.  Instead, he'd been staring at JC.  He was
embarrassed that JC had caught him staring.

He looked down the yard, wondering what JC was doing down there.  Curiosity
got the best of him and he made his way down the lawn.

When he got to the trees, he stopped, trying to figure out where JC had
gone.

"Up here!" he heard JC's voice say from above him.

He looked up, and sure enough, there was JC, sitting on a large branch
about ten feet above him.

Justin was about to ask JC what he was doing up there, but JC shushed him
and told him to come up.

Justin agreed and climbed up to where JC was sitting easily.

"Hey," JC said.

"Hi," Justin replied, smiling.

"So," they both said together before looking at each other and laughing.

When JC noticed that Justin wasn't going to talk before he did, he cleared
his throat and said, "Joey, Steve, and I used to climb these trees when we
were little.  We made forts too."  His eyes lit up at the memories that
rushed to him, and then he continued.  "This one time Joey and Steve were
trying to find a tree to build another fort in and the tree they finally
picked didn't look big enough.  But they started making the fort anyway.
It ended up collapsing and they were upset then, but now it's actually kind
of funny.  Anyway, sorry about that, I was just remembering some things."

"It's ok," Justin replied, grinning at JC.  "You know what Jace?"

"What?" JC asked, looking over at Justin.

"You're my best friend.  I've never really had a best friend, or any
friends for that matter.  Thank you so much for not caring that I'm a
nerd," Justin blurted out, smiling shyly.

"No need to thank me, Justin.  You're not a nerd either, you are a great
person, and I love to hang out with you," JC responded.

Justin only smiled.

"Now, I think we should talk about what you said in the car," JC said,
climbing down from the tree, followed closely by Justin.  There was silence
between them for a moment.

Then Justin said, "Yes we probably should."  They both stood looking at
each other, neither knowing what to say to the other.

Justin was about to speak again when he heard someone calling his name.  He
looked toward the house to see his mom on the porch.

"Must be dinner time," JC muttered, angry that they were being interrupted.

He wanted to know why Justin had said what he'd said.  But he would just
have to wait.

"Yeah," Justin agreed as they walked back towards the house.  "We'll talk
after dinner, ok?"

"Ok," JC said as they reached the house.  Justin smiled at JC one more time
before heading into the bathroom to wash his hands for dinner.

He had no idea what he was going to say to JC when they talked after
dinner, but he figured that he should let his heart do the talking for
once.

TBC...






Chapter 16 by Dannii


Dinner was eaten in silence. Jim and Lynn looked back and forth between
Justin and JC who didn't really look at each other, but they didn't say
anything. Nevertheless it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was just that
they didn't need to say anything now. When they'd finished eating, JC and
Justin helped Lynn clean the table and then went into the hall to go
upstairs, but Lynn called Justin back. Justin looked at JC and shrugged.

"I'll be upstairs soon."

"Okay. Meet me in my room?" JC asked and Justin nodded.

"Sure." He went back into the kitchen where Lynn was standing with her back
to the window, leaning against the dishwasher. Justin could hear the sounds
of the TV coming from the living room, what meant that Jim was watching the
sport news. Justin looked at his mother expectantly.

"What's up, mom?" he asked. She looked at him, concerned.

"You tell me, Justin. What's up with you today? You haven't been yourself
at dinner. Is something wrong with you and Joshua?" Justin sighed and
looked back at her.

"There's nothing, mom, I promise. Everything is fine with Josh and I.  In
fact, it is better that fine. Josh is wonderful, the perfect big
brother. It couldn't be better."  Lynn smiled at his sincere tone.

"That is great, Justin. It's more than I had hoped. - But what's up with
you then?" Justin sighed again. How could he tell his mother, the person
that knew him better than anybody else in the world, that he was falling in
love with the boy that would be his stepbrother soon?  There was no way he
could tell her that. He didn't think that she would be disgusted if he told
her that he thought he was gay, or bi; but the person he liked would be his
brother soon.  Stepbrother, okay, but that wouldn't make a big difference,
for sure.  He just couldn't tell her.

"It's nothing, really. I just have to come to terms with everything, my new
family, the college...everything is so different here. They accept me for
who and what I am, they actually like me. For the first time I have real
friends, and I am no outsider here." He looked up at his mother and saw
that she had tears in her eyes. He went to her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so glad that we're here, mom. This is the best thing that ever
happened to me." A tear slipped down Lynn's face, and she kissed her son on
the cheek.

"I'm so glad, honey, I really am." They stayed embraced for another minute,
then Lynn slapped Justin on the ass lightly and moved him out of the
kitchen.

"No go and do whatever you wanted to do. I'm sorry that I didn't have
enough time to talk today, but I promise you that tomorrow we'll sit down
and you tell me all about college, all right? Cause I want to now
everything!"

"Sure, mom", Justin answered and began to climb up the stairs. "Good
night."

"Good night, sweetie."


The door to JC's room stood open, so Justin went inside and looked around.
JC was nowhere to be seen. He heard movements in the bathroom, and one
second later JC entered his room, now dressed in pajama pants and tee
shirt, like Justin.  Suddenly Justin's heart was beating rapidly in his
chest, and he was nervous. But JC seemed just as nervous as he did. He went
to his bed and sat down, and Justin followed him. They looked at each other
and smiled nervously. JC was it who broke the silence.

So... what did Lynn want? Is everything all right?" he wanted to know.
Justin swallowed.

"She wanted to know what was up with me today, you know, at dinner." JC
nodded.

"And, did you tell her what was up with you?" Justin shook his head.

"Not really. I mean, how could I tell her that... that..." he broke up and
looked at JC helplessly.

"That what, Justin?" JC asked softly. Justin took a deep breath and
whispered

"That I... how much... how much I like you." He looked down at his hands,
not daring to look JC into the eyes after the confession.

JC thought he was dreaming. Had Justin really said what he thought he had
said? That he liked him... much? Was it possible that Justin liked him just
as much as he liked *him*? He didn't know what to say, he just looked at
Justin, who was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt nervously.

"And how much exactly is that, Justin?", he asked softly and took Justin's
hands in his own.  Justin swallowed heavily and took a shaky breath.

"Josh, I... I... I don't know what's up with me. I... I like you so much.
Very much. More than I probably should. Maybe I'm making a complete fool
out of myself now, and maybe you'll be completely disgusted with what I
have to say, but... I have feelings towards you that I've never had before,
for anybody. Feelings that I probably should have towards a girl, and not a
boy. You make me feel so good, and loved, and... I want to spend every
minute with you, and..., but I'm afraid that..." Justin couldn't go on
rambling, because JC had leaned forward and silenced him with a kiss.

Justin sat there, dazed, not moving a bit. His brain tried to understand
what was happening, tried to understand why his heart was beating so fast,
why his stomach was fluttering, why his hands were shaking. And then, after
a few seconds, he began to respond to the kiss. He felt JC's lips moving
against his slightly, and he let his lips move in unison with them. He felt
JC's arms wrap around his waist, caressing his back, and he wrapped his
around JC's neck and grabbed the back of his head. He felt JC's tongue
softly licking at his bottom lip, and he opened his mouth to let JC's
tongue enter. And then their tongues touched, and it felt like a shock was
running through Justin's body. And JC felt it, too. He wrapped his arms
tighter around Justin, like he never wanted to let him go again, while
their tongues dueled erotically with each other.

And then, suddenly, JC was sitting on the bed alone, and Justin was up,
pacing around the room, until JC told him to stop. Justin did as he was
asked, he stopped dead in his tracks, and just stared at JC, a mixture of
fear, confusion and a lot of other emotions shown on his face.

"I'm sorry Jace, I shouldn't have...", he started, but JC interrupted him.

"No, Justin, don't be sorry. I wanted it as much as you did. *I* was the
one who made the first move. I like you so much, Justin. I think I'm
falling in love with you. it is scary, but that's how it is. I know that we
only know each other for two weeks, but I have the feeling that I've known
you my whole life. And, most important, in the last days I've had the
feeling that you might feel the same. And when I heard you say that you
like me so much, I thought... damn it, Justin, what's the matter? Was I
mistaken?" JC looked at Justin hurt, but his expression changed when he saw
a tear escape the younger boy's eyes.

"No, JC. You're not mistaken. But... what I wanted to tell you before we
kissed... I don't know what to do. I like you so much, and I want nothing
more than to be with you, but I'm afraid that maybe I just like you because
you are the first person ever besides my mother who likes me for who I
am. I never had friends before, and you helped me so much. I *think* I like
you so much because you are so wonderful, because of you, but I want to be
sure. I don't want to hurt you and find out one day that it wasn't real
love, just gratitude. I want to be sure.  I just need some time.  Please",
he whispered. "I don't want to ruin what we have - if I haven't already
done it. Please." He started to cry freely, and JC jumped off the bed and
took him in his arms.

"Oh, Justin", he just said and hugged him tightly. Nothing else was said in
the next minutes, they just stood there, in the middle of the room, in a
tight embrace, rocking back and forth, until they both had calmed
down. Then JC drew his head back a bit and smiled at him, although inwardly
he wanted to cry.

"It's all right, Justin. It's all right. I'm glad that you are so honest. I
don't want to lose what we have, either. You mean just too much to me."
Justin clung to him tightly, and JC stroked the back of his head.

"Thank you, Josh, thank you. Just give me some time. I just want to be
sure", he repeated. JC closed his eyes. He knew that there was a hard time
coming - for him, for Justin, for them together. Even if Justin decided to
give it a try, that would just be the beginning. What would their parents
say, their friends, people at college? <I don't care,> he thought. <I just
want this to work out. There's nothing I want more.>

TBC...
**********
feedback to  Dannii: eponinchen2000@yahoo.de and Megan:
jujuissecksi@hotmail.com