Date: Sat, 22 Sep 2001 17:55:13 +0000
From: Dannii Ree <raindrops79@hotmail.com>
Subject: "the love we have" chapter 17

Hi everybody! I'm back from vacation, it was great (just in case somebody
cares... lol), and now I'm ready to post the nect chapters. I hope you'll
enjoy them!! This chapter is written by lovely Megan.

Disclaimer: Man, do I have to say it everytime? We *really* don't know
them, this is fiction, bla bla bla. That's it!


Chapter 17     by Megan

Justin cried himself to sleep that night knowing that things between him
and JC would never be the same, even though JC assured him that nothing
would change. He woke up the next morning and groaned when he realized that
he had to get up for school.

He got up and dragged himself to the bathroom, groaning again when he
looked in the mirror.  He looked like hell. <Those girls wouldn't like me
so much if they saw me right now,> he thought to himself with a bitter
smile.

He hopped into the shower and turned the water as hot as he could stand it.
When he was done, he felt a little better and when downstairs after getting
dressed. He couldn't get the kiss he and JC had shared out of his
mind. When he concentrated on it, he could feel JC's lips on his and he
could feel the tingles that had gone through his body. He wanted to kiss JC
again.  But he was really scared. He didn't want to hurt JC. And he didn't
want to change their friendship in any way. He just didn't know what to do.

He walked into the kitchen and got a bowl of cereal. He was silent except
to say good morning to Jim, his mom, and JC. When he said "good morning,"
JC looked up and gave him a small smile. Instead of smiling back, Justin
looked away. Things had changed already. And it was his fault.

JC was shocked when Justin didn't even acknowledge his greeting. He was
also hurt. Justin had never ignored him before, and he didn't like it. <But
I promised to give him time,> JC reminded himself, <if this is what he
meant by giving him time, then I'll give it to him.>

When they were both ready to leave for school, Justin followed JC out to
the car. They still hadn't said a word to each other. JC climbed into the
car, as did Justin, and started it up. After about five minutes of complete
silence, JC turned on the radio, but he couldn't find anything he liked. He
gave up and turned it back off. He couldn't take the silence anymore.

"So is this how it's going to be?" he asked angrily. "You're just going to
ignore me until you figure out your feelings?"

"No, that's not-" Justin started.

But JC interrupted him, "That's not what Justin? I thought you said you
didn't want anything in our relationship to change."

"I don't want anything to change," Justin argued, pouting. <Why is JC being
so mean about this?> he wondered to himself.

"So why were you ignoring me?" JC demanded, "If there's one thing I can't
stand, it's when people ignore me. But you know what? You should have known
that. We've only known each other two weeks, but I have told you everything
about me, Justin. Why does one stupid kiss have to change it all?"

"Stupid kiss?" Justin whispered, tears pooling in his eyes.

"No, I didn't mean to say that-" JC tried to say, but Justin interrupted
him.

"What did you mean then?" Justin questioned. He was more hurt then angry,
but he needed to get some answers.

"I meant that a kiss shouldn't ruin our friendship," JC tried to explain.

"So it didn't mean anything to you?" Justin assumed, a tear making it's way
down his cheek.

"No, I didn't say that. The kiss we shared was special to me, Justin, it
really was. But then you said you needed time. I figure I can wait for you,
but not if you ignore me the whole time.  While you make up your mind about
your feelings, I want us to go back to the way we were before the kiss," JC
told Justin, smiling a little. "Ok?"

"Yeah, but I just thought you wouldn't want to be around me. I thought you
were mad that I need time," Justin said, wiping the tears from his face.

"I'm a little frustrated, but not mad. I couldn't never be mad at you," JC
replied with a smile.

"Ok," Justin said and then continued, "I thought things were going to be
awkward this morning so I didn't want to say anything. Especially when we
were around mom and Jim. I didn't want them to suspect that something was
wrong, you know? Because last night at dinner my mom knew that something
was off. Oh, Josh, what am I going to do about her?  She's going to freak
if I tell her how I've been feeling lately."

"Don't worry about that yet, Justin, you have plenty of time to tell her.
Wait until you are completely ready, ok?" JC asked.

"Yeah, sure. I won't worry about that for now... but what about your
friends? They'll hate me," Justin replied, worrying all over again. He
didn't want to lose the only friends he'd ever had.

"Don't worry about them, Justin. I probably shouldn't be the one to tell
you this, but Joey...  He's bi," JC told Justin, hoping Joey wouldn't be
mad at him.

"Really?" Justin asked, surprised. Joey seemed like such a ladies man, he
flirted with girls all the time.

"Yeah, really. And he told all us guys a little while ago. They all
accepted him. So you have nothing to worry about there, ok?" JC assured
him.

"Thanks Josh, you always make me feel better," Justin said as they pulled
into the college parking lot.

"I'm glad," JC replied, grinning and pulling Justin into a tight
hug. "Thank you for being you," he added, kissing Justin's cheek softly
before pulling away and getting out of the car.

Justin sat there for a minute before realizing that he needed to get to
class. JC motioned for him to hurry up and he stepped out of the car,
grabbing his book bag. He and JC had composition class together, so they
headed there, hoping they wouldn't be late.

****

After composition class, JC and Justin headed in different directions. JC
went to his contemporary writing and production class, and Justin went to
photography.

Justin was very excited about his photography class. He really wanted to
explore something new, and hoped that photography would be fun. Plus, he'd
already met a few people in his class and they seemed nice.

One girl, Kelly, had come up to Justin and started talking to him. She was
really cool and didn't want Justin for his looks like the other girls
did. She truly wanted to get to know him.  He'd never had a friends that
were girls, and after talking to Kelly for only a short period of him, he'd
realized what he'd been missing all those years back in Tennessee.  He was
looking forward to getting know her better.

He also met a few guys that were really cool. One of them, Justin thought
him name was Trace, was really nice. When Justin mentioned that he was
going to be JC's stepbrother, Trace had smiled and starting talking about
how nice JC was. Justin knew that Trace could become a good friend.

There was also another guy that Justin met that stood out in his mind.
Lance. He was really shy, and Justin had had to approach him and ask
questions before Lance said a word. But Justin had caught him staring quite
a few times. He was surprised that it didn't bother him.  When Justin had
told Lance that he was just a beginner at photography, Lance had offered to
help him out. Lance loved photography, it was his passion, like art was
Justin's passion.  Justin couldn't wait to get to class to talk to his new
friends, and learn about photography.

****

JC and Justin met after lunch. Neither of them had any classes in the
afternoon on Tuesday's, so they decided that they would get take-out for
lunch and bring it home.  Ever since their talk in the car, they both felt
much better. Justin was relieved to know that JC wasn't mad that he needed
time, and JC was happy that Justin wasn't ignoring him anymore.

They picked up lunch at Kentucky Fried Chicken and then sang to the radio
all the way home.  When they drove into the driveway, JC turned off the
car, cutting off some singer in mid- song. But Justin didn't stop
singing. He didn't even realize that the music had stopped until he heard
JC clapping.

He shut his mouth and stopped singing when he realized what he'd done. Then
he blushed a deep red. He got out of the car quickly and went into the
house before JC could say a word.

"Wait!" JC called after Justin's form as he disappeared into the house. <Oh
well,> JC thought, <it's not like he's going to go far when I have our
lunch.>

JC walked into the house, wondering why Justin was so embarrassed. He had a
beautiful voice. It was a little different from JC's, but their voices
matched perfectly. Well, they matched when they sang with the radio. That's
the only time JC had heard Justin sing. And he was determined to get Justin
to sing for him.

He went to the kitchen to get out plates and silverware and then brought
them to the table. He figured that Justin would be down in a minute, so he
just started with out him.

Sure enough, about five minutes later, Justin walked into the kitchen, no
longer blushing.

"Hey, don't eat all my chicken legs," he joked, hoping that JC would just
forget how horrible his voice sounded in the car.

"There's plenty left," JC started and then said, "hey, can I ask you
something?"

"Uh, sure," Justin responded.

"Why were you so embarrassed in the car?" JC asked.

"I've never really sang in front of anyone before. Unless I was singing
with the radio," he told JC, looking down at the floor.

"Hey, don't get embarrassed again, J, you sound really good. What I wanted
to talk about was chorus. I think you should join it with me," JC
suggested, knowing that Justin wouldn't agree right away.

"No way Josh, I can't do that. I was embarrassed that *you* heard me, I'll
never be able to sing in front of lots of people," Justin refused.

"You could just come and check it out. You could watch us and decide if you
are interested.  Plus, you have a beautiful voice, Justin. Well, I didn't
hear it for long, but I'm sure it's beautiful. I'd really like to hear it
again," JC told him.

That caused Justin to blush. "You are always complimenting me on things,
Josh. Why?"  Justin asked.

"Because you're such a talented man, Justin," JC replied, smiling, as
Justin blushed even more when he said the word `man.'

"Thank you," Justin said, finally looking up at JC.

"There's no need to thank me, Justin. I'm just telling you what I see... or
hear," JC responded, taking a bite of his chicken. "I can't believe that
the people in Tennessee didn't see how completely wonderful you are."

JC's jaw dropped when Justin stood abruptly and ran out of the room.

<What is going on?> he wondered, finishing off his chicken and following
Justin upstairs.

TBC...