Date: Wed, 10 Oct 2001 14:46:25 +0200
From: Dannii Ree <raindrops79@hotmail.com>
Subject: "the love we have" chapter 23

Notes: Here's the next chapter. For the disclaimer, please read it in the
previous chapter(s).  I'm too lazy to write more today:). Have fun
readind. Oh, and we appreciate feedback!! Send it to Dannii:
eponinchen2000@yahoo.de, and Megan: jujuissecksi@hotmail.com!


Chapter 23 by Megan


Since both Justin and Lance had driven to the school, they decided to meet
each other at the diner just down the street.  Justin got there first, he
loved to drive fast.
  He sat in a booth, waiting for Lance.

Lance smiled as he entered the restaurant and saw Justin.  He made his way
over to the booth and sat down across from Justin.

"So what's good here?" Lance asked.

"You've never been here?" Justin asked, surprised.

"No, I don't really go out too much," Lance answered, blushing a little
bit.  "I usually just stay home and take pictures, read, or write."

"What do you write?" Justin asked, curious.

"Poems," Lance replied, looking down at the menu, avoiding Justin's eyes.
He was waiting for Justin to laugh and make fun of him.

"Wow, that's great.  I wish I could write poetry.  Actually, I wish I could
write anything for that matter.  I did write a song a while ago, but that's
it," Justin told Lance, smiling when Lance looked up at him with a
surprised look.

"You don't think I'm weird for writing poetry?" he asked.

"No, of course not.  I just wish I could do it," Justin said sincerely.

"It took me a long time to get it right," Lance responded, "but you're an
artist, right?"

"Yeah, I love painting and drawing," Justin replied, "and I think I'm going
to love photography too."

"Photography is so addicting," Lance told him, smiling as Justin laughed.

"Are you busy this weekend?" Justin asked.

Lance looked up at him surprised, "um, no, I don't think so, why?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could come over and teach me some basics,"
Justin said slowly.

"Oh, sure," Lance responded, smiling.

"Could I see some of the photos you've taken too?" Justin asked, hoping he
wasn't prying too much.

"Well, I'm really self-conscious about showing people my work, but I guess
I could show you some," Lance told him.  <He sounds just like me when I
first moved here,> Justin thought to himself, <but he doesn't have a Josh
to help him out.  Maybe I should do it.>

"I'm sure I'll love them," Justin said, smiling when Lance blushed.

Just then, a waiter came over to take their order.  Justin ordered a tuna
sandwich, fries, and a coke.  Lance didn't know what to get, so he just got
the same thing.

When the waiter left, Lance asked, "so what's the whole long story about
why you and JC aren't together?"  He blushed when he realized that he was
being nosy and started to apologize.

"No, it's ok.  I said I'd tell you and I will," Justin replied.

"Ok," Lance said quietly, waiting for Justin to speak.

"Well, I guess I should start at the beginning.  I moved from Tennessee, if
you didn't already know that, and my life there wasn't very good.  I mean,
Tennessee isn't a bad place to live, but I didn't have any friends," Justin
paused when he saw the doubtful look on Lance's face.  "No, I'm serious.
No one liked me.  My only friend was my mom.  When she met Jim, JC's
father, she seemed so much happier.  They met in the funniest way, but
that's a different story.  Anyway, we moved here and I was so worried that
everyone would hate me.  Then I met Josh, and he accepted me right away."

Lance smiled at the waiter as he placed their drinks on the table and then
looked back at Justin.  Once the waiter left, Justin continued, "It was
really strange that someone actually wanted to get to know me.  All the
people at my old school made me think I wasn't worth getting to know.  But
Josh made me feel otherwise.  He seemed truly interested in my life and how
I felt about everything.  We talked almost every night from the time I
moved in until school started.  He became my best friend so quickly.  And
he introduced me to his friends.  I was so surprised that they all accepted
me. I still sort of am.  I mean, why would they want to hang out with me?
What's so special about me?"

Lance wasn't sure if Justin wanted him to answer the question or not.  But
he did anyway, "you are so wonderful, Justin, I can't believe you don't
even realize it."

It was Justin's turn to blush.  "Uh, thanks, Lance.  Anyway, after a few
days of living with Josh I started to feel differently about him.  The
feelings I was having weren't supposed to be toward a guy and it scared me.
I was so worried that he would hate me if I was gay or bi.  I still don't
know which I am, I just know that I'm not straight," Justin explained,
giggling.  Lance joined in, noticing how contagious Justin's laugh was.

"So what happened next?" Lance asked, really curious.

"Well, one day when we were joking around, Josh told me he thought I was
cute, and I told him the same.  That made it kind of awkward for a little
while.  And then another night, he kissed me.  I don't even remember what
we were talking about, but I will never forget the kiss," Justin said,
blushing a little when he realized what he was telling Lance.

"It's ok, don't be embarrassed," Lance told him, smiling at how much Justin
seemed to be in love with JC.  He couldn't help but notice that Justin
always called him Josh instead of JC.

"Anyway, after the kiss I told him that I cared for him, but I needed time
to sort out all my feelings.  He said that was ok, that he'd give me time,"
Justin said before pausing.

"So what's the problem?" Lance asked, "you still haven't figured out your
feelings?"

"No, that's not it.  I know that I love him," Justin explained and Lance
smiled at the admission, "but I want to be sure that he feels the same."

"You don't trust him when he says that he does?" Lance questioned,
confused.

"No, that's not it either.  I do trust him, with all my heart, but... well,
I don't know.  I think it's just hard to believe that someone actually
wants to be my friend, not to mention love me, you know?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Lance replied, thinking to himself, <I know
all too well.>



Justin felt a lot better after talking to Lance.  He hadn't told anyone how
he felt about JC and he was glad that Lance had been there to listen.  He
now knew what to do.

He climbed into his mom's car and drove the half-hour home.  He and Lance
had decided not to go to the park since it was getting late and Justin
didn't want his mom to worry.

When he got home, he parked the car in the garage and entered the house,
smiling when he smelled his mother's famous brownies.  He entered the
kitchen, waving at his mother and Jim and smiling softly at JC.

"Hey, sorry I missed dinner, I had something to take care of," Justin
apologized, joining them at the table.

"No problem sweetie, you're actually just in time for dessert," Lynn
answered, smiling before getting up and going into the kitchen.

"Is everything ok, Justin?" Jim asked, curious.

"Yeah," Justin told him, smiling.

JC didn't say a word.  <What's up with him?> Justin wondered to himself.

Lynn came back into the dinning room with a tray piled with brownies and
set them down.

"Eat up," she said, sitting down and grabbing a brownie.

"Mmmm," Justin said, after taking a bite.  "These are awesome as always,
mom."

"Thanks," Lynn answered, grinning.

After they were finished eating, JC and Justin exchanged a glance and both
excused themselves, heading to JC's room to talk.Justin stopped in his room
to change before going through the bathroom into JC's room.

"So where were you, Justin?" JC asked.

"Oh, I just went to the college to meet someone," Justin replied, sitting
down on JC's bed.

"Who?" JC questioned, sitting down across from Justin.

"If you must know... Lance," Justin told him.

"Why?" JC asked, confused as to why Justin wanted to talk to Lance.

"Because I told him I'd meet him in class, and I didn't show up.  We went
out to the diner to eat.  We just talked," Justin explained.

"Why didn't you stay here with me?" JC asked, the hurt showing in his eyes.

"I already told you, I didn't show up for class and I wanted to let him
know why.  It was fun, we talked about everything. He's really nice,"
Justin said, smiling.

"But I was bored, I wanted to talk to you and you weren't here," JC almost
whined.  "We're best friends Justin, why do you need Lance?"

"Wait, I can't have more than one friend?" Justin asked, angry.

"No, I didn't mean that-" JC started.

"Well that's what it sounded like," Justin yelled, stomping out of the
room.

<What have I done?> JC wondered to himself, <why aren't I good enough for
him?>

TBC...