Date: Tue, 26 Jun 2001 01:50:37 +1000 (EST)
From: Corey Taylor <lances_leather_pants@yahoo.com.au>
Subject: the more you ignore me 2

Hi Guys, I know I promised this to people like a week ago, but I read what
I had written and it was utter shite, so I had to rewrite the chapter about
3 times this week. I didn't want to just throw something together and post
it, because then you'd all kill me, but I ended up having to do just that,
because creative writing eluded me this week. Sorry if you waited ages for
this and then hate it, but I promise I will do better next time. It's only
a short chapter, and it isn't setting a trend as far as quality goes, I'm
just having a bad week.  I've got to thank all the people who sent really
encouraging emails about the last chapter, you were all ace, especially
Jack, Ian, Rob, Siege, The friendly Shrek fan, Ariana, Christine, Miss
Moosic, Aaron, Mel and Dawn.

Disclaimer:

I'm Lance Bass and if you don't believe me....um..you're a very good judge
of character. I don't know how to break this news to you all, but this
story is just....OH MY GOD..made up, just like Santa, the Easter bunny, the
tooth fairy, God, Jesus, the Devil and Demi Moore's acting credentials.

On with the story:

#	#	#	#	#	#	#	#

"Every time I see you no matter what we do there's a strange reaction can
you feel it too?"

JC lay on the floor of Justin's bedroom reading the newspaper, as Justin
sat cross-legged on the bed alternately listening to music, flicking
through a magazine and talking on his mobile phone.

"Jayce" Justin asked timidly.

"Yeah" JC answered, without looking up from the paper.

"Is something wrong?"

"What do you mean?" JC asked, rolling over onto his side and staring up at
Justin, who was still sitting on the bed.

"Well you've been kinda down since you got back from your parents place and
I was wondering if maybe something happened. I mean you don't have to tell
me, it just seems weird that you'd be sad on your vacation. If you want to
talk to someone.."

'tell him' his conscience urged. "No, nothing's wrong Just, I'm fine, just
tired." JC replied. 'you wuss' his conscience taunted.

How could he possibly explain his feelings to Justin when he couldn't fully
understand them himself. He didn't like to keep secrets from Justin, they
were best friends and told each other everything, but at the moment he was
so confused he didn't think he actually knew what was wrong, so how could
he tell Justin.

"I try to laugh about it cover it all up with lies I try to laugh about it
hiding the tears in my eyes because boys don't cry"

Since the tour had ended JC had spent a week with his family at his parents
house, but for some reason he wasn't as happy to see them as he normally
would have been. He loved his family and loved to spend time with them, but
there was something else on his mind. He felt depressed and had slept most
of the time, avoiding contact with people in case the constant threat of
crying gave way to a torrent of tears that would be difficult to explain.

"Every time I see you you have the same effect my heart starts missing a
beat Every time"

"I spoke to Lance the other day and he was a bit down too."

At the mention of Lances name JC's interest peaked.

"I mean it's weird, usually once the tour has ended we don't hear from him
until we start work again, but the other day he rang me out of the blue. He
sounded like he was about to cry" Justin continued

"I think its just exhaustion" JC mused "Well for me anyway, I mean all that
time on the road it's the first time we've had to relax."

JC tried to sound light but deep down he was concerned for Lance. He had
tried to get closer to him during the last tour, telling himself that it
was for the sake of the group dynamic, that they all had to be friends.
But it evolved into something more than that after a little while, and JC
knew that his feelings for Lance were a bit more than mere friendship. He
had told himself that the wrestling matches he started with Lance were a
game that friends played, he had convinced himself that walking from the
bathroom in a towel was normal, and that he would have done the same thing
if he were sharing a room with Justin. But the fact was he wanted to know
if Lance felt anything toward him, and these were all little tests. Lance
had failed miserably, or passed with flying colours, depending on how you
saw it. Either way JC was sure he was locked into a one-way love affair. He
had tried to make himself believe that Lance was checking him out when he
wasn't looking, but the fact that the younger man had been determined to
keep the relationship on a "friendly but distant" basis, opting to return
home alone rather than spending time in Orlando with JC and the rest of the
group, put an end to that hope.

"How many sorrows do you try to hide in a world of illusion that's covering
your mind"

JC had never been in love before, so he wasn't sure if that's what he felt
for Lance. He didn't know how love between 2 men should feel, or even if it
could exist since he had never even considered that he might be gay until
Lance. However, what he did know for sure was that if love made him feel as
bad as he had felt for the past week, he wanted nothing to do with it.

"It's guilt edged glamorous and sleek by design you know it's jealous by
nature false and unkind it's hard and unrestrained and it's totally cool it
touched and it teases as you stumble in the debris"

"Riiiiiiiiiing" JC was drawn from his thoughts by the telephone ringing
outside the bedroom door.

Justin jumped off the bed and stepped into the adjoining hallway. JC could
hear him talking softly into the telephone, and he continued to flick
through the newspaper, assuming that Justin was speaking to Britney and
would be away for some time.

"Guess who that was" Justin asked, startling JC who was once again immersed
in his thoughts and was unaware that Justin had re-entered the room.

"I give up" JC replied.

"Lance. He said that he was bored of his family and that he can run
Freelance from Orlando, so he's flying out tomorrow to spend the rest of
the break." Justin answered in disbelief "Is that weird or what?"

JC had to admit that it was weird that Lance wanted to spend his free time
with them, when he usually kept to himself. But his mood instantly
improved, he didn't care why Lance was coming, only that he was going to be
near him and his hurt could be forgotten for the time being. JC was
suddenly happy and filled with energy.

"Lets go roller-blading" He suggested to Justin, who looked at him as
though he had grown an extra head.  JC's mood swing obviously so drastic
that it confused the curly haired boy. JC laughed at his expression, not
that he found it very funny, but he was so giddy with elation all of a
sudden that he felt like doing something fun. JC was so determined to go
that he dragged Justin out the door.

#	#	#	#	#	#	#	#

OK, I know it wasn't a very good chapter, but it was hard to write for some
reason. I promise that the next one will be better. Let me know what you
think...please....Thanks, Corey.T.