Date: Sun, 22 Oct 2000 18:02:03 GMT From: kazy bren <wickyk@hotmail.com> Subject: The Photograph, boy band story, short story The Photograph Disclaimer: I do not know the Backstreet Boys, their management, their record label, etc. This story has no reflection on the sexuality of any of the Boys. It was an old photograph, faded and crinkled. It had been color, but years of handling and storage in dark, musty boxes had faded it so that it was faint, almost indistinct. The edges had curled slightly, and there was a crease down the center where it had been folded to slip into a pocket. Yet, there he was- frozen forever in an endless smile. He had kept the picture hidden because it had become too painful to look at. He used to have many pictures of him- the house had been literally overflowing with pictures of both of them, together and alone. The other snapshots were still hidden deep, but he couldn't bear to not have a single likeness of him available, if he ever got up the courage to look again. With one finger, he gently traced the image of pale gold bangs and shining, dancing blue eyes. His arms had been tightly wrapped around him that day, as they had sprawled through the piles of crisp leaves. They had been bundled up in heavy sweaters and jeans, and the sun had been slanting through the branches of the oak and birch trees around them. His cousin had taken the picture when they had a day off in New England, during the glorious autumn that region was famous for. They had started a 'leaf fight', and had ended up together in a happy, laughing tangle of arms and legs. The other three had laughed at them, at how lovesick they were acting, even though it had been two years and then some since their relationship had began. It was the last picture he had of him. *** 15 Years Earlier He woke to the pale beams of autumn sun that slid unobtrusively into their hotel room, making its slow steady march across the patterned carpet and up the rumpled bed sheets, to make patterns across their exposed skin. The warm body was nestled in his arms, the fingers entangled and clutching each other, even in sleep. He was content to just lie there, snuggled deep under blankets and the thick quilts they carried with them during the colder months. It was warm and cozy among the soft bedclothes, and the body in his arms had not yet stirred. Surely they had time for a few minutes more of sleep- The phone rang persistently, and he shut his eyes tight in frustration. He knew it was the hotel desk with the wakeup call so he reached over, picking the receiver up and slamming it back down. He then dialed room service as quietly as he could, so as not to wake sleeping beauty, and ordered breakfast for the lot of them. His love besides him stirred, and a smile instinctively broke over his face as he glanced into the crystal-blue eyes. A sleepy smile lit up the younger face as their eyes met, and Kevin lifted a hand to smooth back a lock of golden hair. "Morning," he said quietly, delighting in the love he saw in the smiling eyes. "Mmmm, morning." Nick stretched luxuriously and settled back among the sheets and blankets. *** The day had begun delightfully, just the two of them in each other's arms. They didn't need to speak out loud- their souls sang to each other. Kevin remembered holding his love tight, cradling him against himself, and knowing that this was forever.... *** It had been AJ's idea to walk the five miles from their hotel to the recording studio. In the sleepy New England town, no one would recognize them. They agreed, only because it was too early to get into an argument. They had started off walking along normal town streets alternating between neatly kept, picket-fenced houses and stores and restaurants. They then passed along a park, realized they were three-quarters of the way there and still had an hour and a half before they had to be in the studio, and took a detour. It was in that little park that the leaf fight had occurred. Kevin wiped his eyes as he smiled down on the picture in his hand. He could still feel the contours of Nick's body fitting perfectly against his own, smell the intoxicating mixture of crisp leaves, fresh air, and Nick's shampoo. He could hear the bright, happy laughter as it echoed through the park... *** "Kevin," Nick said softly, rolling over in the leaves and staring deep into his eyes. "Yeah, baby?" Kevin reached out a hand, trailing it along Nick's cheek, delighting in the tingly feeling that formed in his stomach just from touching his love. Nick's eyes shone with laughter, happiness, and a much deeper emotion. "I love you." *** I Love You. A simple phrase, one said often between them, yet it managed to bring tears to Kevin's eyes as he remembered how he had pulled Nick closer to him. For some reason, it had a deeper meaning there in the park, on that crisp autumn day. Some part of Kevin had been screaming at him to remember this moment- to hold on to Nick and never let go. Never let him leave his arms. Kevin had never been a man who listened to his subconscious. He regretted that now. *** Kevin and Nick just laid there, staring into each other's eyes. Nick was leaning forward to kiss him when they heard Brian yell out. "Hey, Frack! Come look at this!" *** Kevin wished that he had held Nick.... Wished that he hadn't let him go.... Wished that he had listened to the warning feeling and kept Nick safe with him... *** A screech of rubber and the sickening crunch of metal filled the air. *** Every one had wondered why the man had been drunk at ten-thirty in the morning. No one would ever know. The car had swerved into a tree, and he had died on impact. *** Kevin could feel his heart freezing in his chest. He heard Brian's scream, and the shouts of anger from AJ and Howie. There was no sound from Nick. *** Remembering, Kevin wept. He rolled into a ball, clutching the photograph with immobile fingers that refused to give up their hold on the object. Waves of pain that he thought had long since subsided washed their way through his heart, slowly breaking apart the figurative scars that had held it together since that fateful day. *** He was motionless in the middle of the road. His leg was lying in an odd position, as if it wasn't really connected to the rest of his body. Scrapes covered all of his exposed skin, and his face was white like paper. A deep cut was on the side of his head, and the golden hair around the wound was stained reddish-brown. Kevin didn't remember running to Nick; he was just there. He could feel himself shaking from head to toe, but, oddly, his eyes were dry. He leaned over his love frantically. "Nick? Baby... come on Nicky, wake up for me. Wake up...." He could hear the siren of an ambulance as it sped its way towards him. He knew it was no use. His head had fallen onto Nick's chest as he was trying to get as close to him as possible with out moving him. Nick's heart had stopped beating. *** The phone rang shrilly, jerking Kevin out of his thoughts. "Hello," he said dully, after he answered it. "Kev?" "Hey, Bri." Kevin kept staring at the photograph, trying to blink away the steady tears. "Um... I'm just calling to check in." "I know." "Kev?" "Yes?" "Are you all right?" "No..." *** Kevin stared at the picture for a while longer after he had hung up with Brian. With a sad smile, he traced the happy, innocent faces of the couple in the photograph. Sighing, he opened the top of the dusty brown cardboard box and slipped the picture inside, with the other tokens and memories of his soulmate. Closing the box back up, he stood and slid it into the back of his closet. Closing the doors, he leaned his forehead against the cool wood for a moment. Happy birthday, Nicky.... Email at wickyk@hotmail.com for comments.