Date: Sun, 15 Aug 1999 14:25:01 EDT
From: NeilsANerd@aol.com
Subject: The Real Kevin (Part VI)

DISCLAIMER: Not for people under the age of 18 years.  Includes homoerotic
material that may be unsuitable for some readers.  This is a fictional
story (how I hate to say it) involving celebrities.  This story is in no
way meant to imply or suggest the sexual orientation of anyone involved.

**Note: I think this will be the last part.  I am going to college in a few
days, and I don't think I'll have time to continue.  I've really enjoyed
writing this for you all.

--------------
The Real Kevin
--------------
by Neil
e-mail me at NeilsANerd@aol.com

Part VI
-------

     Five days later.  We were now almost halfway across the country.  The
last couple of shows went terrific, but last night's was a disaster.  Three
of the dancers got food poisoning and couldn't dance.  So the two
understudies came on.  They knew most of the stuff, but not well enough.
And we had to compensate for having only four dancers.  But we got through
it.
     Things had almost went back to normal, with one major difference: I
started using money from my paycheck to pay for my own personal hotel
rooms.  The tour was in its last leg, but we still had plenty of
practicing.  Needless to say, Kevin and I spent most of our free time
together.  We would just mainly talk.  We talked about everything.  I loved
every second.  He became my best friend, the best friend I'd ever had.  We
had so much in common.  It was just the most wonderful feeling in the world
to be around him.
     One morning, I decide to take a walk around the city (whichever city
we were in now).  Kevin, of course, wanted to go, but I refused.  He knew
by now that sometimes I just liked to be alone, and this was one of those
times.  Being on the road almost all day, I never get to catch up on the
news, so I stop at a news-stand after buying a coffee.  I browse the
newspapers.  Then the trashy tabloids catch my eye.  "Superstar Diva has
breast reduction" "Jerry Springer is a transsexual" "Bill Gates porno
business" "Backstreet Boy gay love affair" I almost choked on my coffee.
The headline, in bright yellow, was followed by a slightly blurred picture
of Kevin and me on the roof of the hotel in Pittsburgh!  A thousand
thoughts went through my head.  How did they?  Did they follow us the whole
time?  How much did they see?  A magazine ran a similar story.  I grabbed
and paid for them both, then ran back to our hotel, dropping my coffee on
the way.
     In the elevator, I open the tabloid to the story.  The largest picture
is one of me giving Kevin the jewelry box.  The elevator doors open, and I
see Nick about to press the button to go down.  I grab his arm and ask,
"Where are the other guys?"
     "They're all in Brian's room having breakfast.  I was just going to
get you."
     "Well, come on."  I drag him to Brian's room.  I knock on the door; AJ
answers.  I go inside and pull Nick behind me.  AJ shuts the door, and my
tears start.
     "Neil, what's wrong?"  Kevin asks.
     I'm so frantic I can hardly talk.  "I.....sorry.....ruined
everything......hate this."  I throw the papers onto the bed and cover my
face with my hands.  Kevin walks over to look at them.
     "Oh, my God."  The other Boys join him.  They just stare in disbelief.
Reality hits me full blast, and I fall on my knees, wailing.  Kevin runs
over and takes me in his arms.  "Calm down.  It'll be alright.  We'll find
a way through this."
     Howie had picked up the tabloid and opened up to the story.  "This guy
must've followed you two all day.  He practically tells how many times you
breathed."  Nick was looking at the magazine article.  "At least they don't
have your name, Neil.  Just 'unidentified man'."
     "Shit, guys, what are we going to do?" Brain asks.
     "I don't know, but we better decide fast."  AJ answered.  "This story
is out this far already, I can't imagine how far it'll get in a couple more
days."
     "Damn it.  I just remembered we have that press conference tonight."
Kevin said.
     "I think this'll come up.  This magazine is national.  How could you
be so stupid to not hide it?"  AJ said.  He didn't intend to hurt Kevin,
but he did.
     "Well, I'm sorry I'm not as freaking brilliant as you, AJ." Kevin said
sarcastically.
     "Hey, don't get a tone with me, asshole."  He pointed his finger at
Kevin's face.  "This isn't my problem.  And while you're at it, why don't
you just"
     "STOP IT!"  Brian screamed.
     "YOU don't tell me what to do.  I'm so sick of being ordered around by
you."
     "Hey, AJ, shut up!" Nick screamed.
     "Don't yell at him!"  Howie screamed back.
     It turned out to be man-against-man.  Kevin had gotten up to get in
everyone's faces.  Somehow, everyone was mad at everyone else for
something.  They were all in each other's faces, fingers flying as fast as
words.  They didn't notice when I went out the door.  I could still hear
their screaming when I stepped onto the elevator.  I just left the hotel.
I walked around more.  I thought about them all screaming at each other.
It was horrible.  I didn't even know if they were still the Backstreet
Boys.  And it's all my fault.  My mind flashed back to the incident at my
house.  That was my fault too.  What was going to happen now?  Should I go
back to the hotel?  Should I end this thing with Kevin?  Should I just get
onto the next bus outta here without a 'goodbye'?  I looked at my watch and
saw that it was almost time for our practice.  Hours had passed!  I didn't
even know where I was any more.  I hailed a taxi and got a ride to the
theatre.  I arrived a couple minutes late due to traffic.  The Boys and all
the dancers were there.  I was actually surprised.  There was obviously a
lot of tension in the air.  None of the Boys could go through a routine
without a mistake.  They didn't pal around and joke with each other like
usual.  Instead, they completely ignored each other.  During breaks, the
other dancers would speculate on what was wrong.  They hadn't seen the
articles.  I didn't talk; I just sat with them and drank my water.
     After practice, Kevin approached me.  "The press conference is in
three hours.  It's up to us to make up the story, or tell the truth.  See
you back at my room."  That's all he said before he left.  I rode the bus
back to the hotel and took a shower.  Then I went to his room.  He answered
the door and let me in.
     "Kevin, I'm so sorry this is out.  It's just that when I'm around
you...it's just great.  I feel like I've known you all my life."
     "THAT'S IT!"  He yelled and got the biggest smile on his face.
     "What's it?"  He told me.  We spent the rest of the time making up all
the details.

The Press Conference
     Blah, blah, blah.  This about the tour, that about the tour.  Then:
     "Mr.Richardson, what do you have to say about the story recently
revealed in 'The Watcher'?"
     Kevin cleared his throat.  "Well, that story is totally wrong.  The
man in the pictures is an old friend of mine.  We went to high school
together, and when I heard he was in Pittsburgh, I decided to look him up.
We spent the whole day catching up."
     "And what about the pictures involving a jewelry box and hugging?"
     "Oh, that was my Senior Key.  I lost it years ago.  His mom found it
behind his dresser.  It just turns out that I had already left to find
work, so he never did find me to give it back.  When he did, I was very
excited.  So I thanked him and hugged him."
     There were more questions, and Kevin answered them all quickly and
carefully.  By the time he was done, he had almost convinced _me_ that we
weren't seeing each other.  I watched the conference from my room until it
ended.
     Then I packed my bags.
   
     I'm hiding around the corner from the hall where the Boys' rooms are.
They walk off the elevator, one by one.  Before they walk to their separate
rooms, Kevin says, "Guys, I'm sorry about this.  And about what I said to
you all.  It was just a shock and.....I'm just so sorry."
     All the guys looked at him.  Then Brian says, "Yeah, I'm sorry too,
you all.  I shouldn't have yelled at you all."
     Howie says, "I think it's safe to say that we're all sorry."  They
gave a group hug.  I was so happy for them.  When they all went into their
rooms, I knock on Nick's door.  He opens it, and I enter without a word.
Minutes later, I come out and move on to Howie's room.  Then AJ's.  Then
Brian's.
     Now I'm standing in front of Kevin's room.  I can already feel tears
forming.  But I shake them off and hold my head up.  I knock on the door.
"Who is it?"
     "Neil."  He opens the door.  I walk in.
     "Kevin, come here and sit down."  He walks over to where I am standing
and sits in the chair in front of me.  "Don't say a word.  I....I have to
leave.  I can't do this any more.  It's too hard for me.  Too hard for us.
Because of me, the world almost found out.  Because of me, the Backstreet
Boys almost broke up.  Because of me, you almost lost your best friends.  I
love you too much to make you go through anything like this ever again."
     "Bu" He started to speak, but I put my finger over his lips.  I felt a
tear fall down my cheek.
     "No talking.  You'll only make it hurt worse.  I've already said
goodbye to the other guys."  I kiss the finger that is over his lips.
"Goodbye."  I turn and walk out the door, not looking back.  I didn't hear
him make a sound when I closed the door.  I step onto the elevator.  I
didn't cry.  I grabbed my bags in the lobby.  I hailed a cab to the bus
station.  Then I rode the bus back home.
     My parents were happy to see me, as were Shannon and Andy.  I told the
latter about how everything happened.  They consoled me.  Then I went on
with my life.  I went back to college in the second semester.  I refused to
think about my months as a Backstreet Boys dancer.  I went back to thinking
of them all as just the Backstreet Boys, not average people.  And after a
long while, I even started to refuse the love that I thought I still had
for Kevin.  Until one day....

     Months later.  I'm sitting up on the patio, reading my psychology
book.  A car drives up, and a lone man steps out.  I figured it was another
guest until he spoke.  "You want some company up there?" he yells up at me.
I recognize the voice immediately.
     "Sure, come on up."  He did.  He leans up against the banister right
beside me.  He doesn't look at me; he just admires the view.  I speak
first.  "How has everyone been?"
     "Well, _I've_ seen better days.  Of course, you were in my life then.
But I think I'll live.  The guys don't know I'm here.  We're on a
three-week break."
     "I'm glad to see you.  Really."  I pause.  "Why did you come here?"  I
said it almost without emotion.  I wasn't going to let myself fall into
this again.
     "You didn't let me say 'goodbye'."
     "Now is as good a time as any."  I get up out of my chair and face
him.  I think he knew that I was distancing myself.  He took the hint.
     "Well, then...goodbye."  He stretches out his arms, wanting a hug.  I
reach out my hand for a handshake.  He looks at me, then takes my hand and
shakes it.  He turns to go back down the stairs to leave the house.  I
watch him get in his car.  We make eye contact as he starts the car.  Then
he drives away.  I don't feel any pain.  I don't feel any emotion really.
I look at my psychology book:
     "Chapter 9 - Closure."

THE END


Alright, I think I might start another story.  But I can't promise.  Also,
I will have a new e-mail address.  But I'll tell you that in the new story,
if there is one.