Date: Fri, 04 Jan 2002 20:35:20 -0500
From: Sweet Music <sweet_music5@hotmail.com>
Subject: Things Don't Always Turn Out That Way Part 5: So Done

I know I haven't been writing long but, I'm sick of these disclaimer
things.  But ya gotta do what cha gotta do. As always I don't know anyone
in this story, unfortunately. I don't know anyone in this story's sexual
preference. Oh well. And if you are under 18 and/or this type of stuff is
no-no in your area go away or just don't get caught. And as ALWAYS don't
steal my stuff.  Well that wasn't too painful.

Now the good stuff...

So Done
By Pandora

	We don't have anything scheduled for today. No rehearsals, no
interviews, no photo shoots, nothing.  Thank God. So I intend to stay in
bed all day and do what I've wanted to do for days. Wallow and feel sorry
for myself. I even locked my door so, even with a key, no one can get in. I
am so not in the mood to deal with anyone today. The covers are pulled up
over my head, blocking out the damned sun, and I'm contemplating whether or
not I should unplug the phone from the wall as well. But this bed is warm
and cozy and I really don't feel like moving right now. I just want to lay
here. The alcohol from the other night is still on the table, I could drink
that, after I drag my lazy ass out of bed. So I'll just spend the day
getting drunk and forgetting about the fight I had with Justin and Wade...
	'Ring! Ring!' Damn phone, should've unplugged it earlier. Should I
even answer it? Its probably one of the guys wanting to know why the hell I
hit Justin, or its Justin calling to ask why the hell I hit him.  But it
could be my mama, or my sister, and even though I really don't want to talk
to them either, I'll answer the damn thing, at least that'll make it shut
up.
	"Hello?" I grumble into the receiver, trying to make it sound like
I just woke up.
	"Lance? You sleeping?" Britney. I guess she might want to know why
I hit Justin too. I can imagine her walking into their room and finding the
little diva prince sitting in the corner pouting. And she'd ask, what's
wrong, and he'd say, Lance hit me, and he'd pout even more to make me look
like the bad guy.
	"No Brit, just don't feel much like talking. What's up?" At this
point in time she's the only person I think I can stand talking to. But I
feel that questions coming.
	"You hit Justin?" See, I knew it.
	"Yeah. I hit Justin."
	"Why?"
	"Because the little piss head deserved to be hit." I don't really
feel like telling Britney why he deserved it. I don't feel like having to
explain why he called me a 'little whore.'
	I hear her laugh on the other end of the line, that's the last
thing I expected her to do, laugh.  "You did quite a number on him
Lance. He's got on hell of a shiner."
	"I only hit him once. I didn't think I hit him that hard." I say to
no one particular.
	"You should see it Lance!" She sounds like she's happy I hit him.
	"I suppose he told you all about it." I sigh.
	"No, actually, when I got back with Joey, JC, and Chris, he
wouldn't tell any of us what happened.  We found him in our room, just
sitting there staring at the wall. When we asked him who hit him he just
got up and crawled into bed and wouldn't talk to anyone. And I swear I
heard him crying last night but I wasn't sure." He was crying? Because I
hit him? No way. Not Justin Timberlake, not THE Almighty Wonderful
Beautiful Pop Prince himself Justin Timberlake. "We just assumed since you
were the only one here last night, you must've hit him."
	"Oh..." I say softly. I don't know what to think.
	"He's still in bed, he's awake, but he's still in bed. I'm in Joe's
room.  Why don't you..." I hear some rustling in the background I someone
say 'give me the phone.'
	"Lance, unlock your damn door. I'm coming down to talk to you."
Joey tells me and then hangs up.  Goody. I get to talk to big bubby Jojo. I
slam the phone down. I'm NOT in the mood for this.

	So I got up, unlocked the 'damn door' and crawled back into bed. I
heard Joey come in but I didn't want to move. So I just stayed there. Until
he yanked the covers off me.  Damn him.
	So now we're sitting across from one another on the bed, just
staring each other down. He better say something, soon, or I'll kick his
ass out. Hell I might even go crawl in bed with Justin and go back to
sleep, maybe Wade's still in bed.
	He laughs suddenly and it makes me jump. "Oh man! You got Justin
good! You should see his face!"
	I sigh "Joe I didn't hit him that hard. I mean sure I knocked him
off the bar stool, but I didn't hit him THAT hard."
	He taps my right hand which I've balled up into a fist "Looks like
you did hit him pretty hard."
	I look at my fist and realize there's a faint bruise across my
knuckles where my hand connected with Justin's face. It doesn't hurt but
the mark makes me feel bad about hitting him. Before I didn't really care,
but now I feel bad. I push myself off the bed, "I've got to go talk to
him," I mutter
	Joey's smile drops from his face, "Why? Why do you 'got to go talk
to him.'  Lance, he deserved to be punched! Hell, You should have punched
him a long ass time ago! Don't do it."
	I'm not listening to him, I'm just tugging on a pair of jeans and
heading for the door. I know he's getting off the bed and coming after me,
"Joe, I've at least got to tell him I'm sorry for hitting him."  I say, my
hand resting on the knob.
	"Well, at least put your shirt on." He sounds like my mother when
he says that.
	I turn and smile at him, "No" And with that I walk out the door,
set on Justin's room.

	I pass Britney in the hall and ask her for the key to their room
and then tell her no I don't want her to come with me. I've got to talk to
Justin alone. Joey just shakes his head at me and heads back to his own
room. When I walk into Justin's hotel room, its almost like nighttime. I
can see that he did get up to toss a blanket over the closed curtains to
block out any light that might sneak its way in. I should have thought of
that. It takes my eyes a moment to get used to the darkness, but as they
adjust, I can make out the outline of Justin's body curled into a ball in
the middle of the bed, blankets pulled up over his head.
	"Go away Britney! I don't want to talk." His voice is muffled by
the blankets but I can hear a touch of sadness in his voice. He sounds like
he really has been crying.
	I just stand against the wall, staring at his form curled in fetal
position on the bed. He looks like a little child lost and alone without
their mommy or daddy. I want to take him in my arms and sooth his pain and
tell him I felt nothing with Wade, nothing like what I feel with him. I
want to hold him and tell him I'm sorry, so so sorry, for everything.
	"Didn't you hear me Britney?" He sits straight up in the bed, "I
said get..." He trails off and looks at me.
	I can't see him in the darkness very well, but I can make out his
silhouette. I can tell he's looking right at me. Leaning over he flicks on
the bedside lamp and squints at the sudden brightness. "Lance?"
	I don't say anything, I CAN'T say anything. I can't move. I'm
almost afraid he might run at me or try to hit me. With the light on I can
see his face, I can see the dark almost purplish mark circling his right
eye. It looks like it really hurts. God, I DID hit him hard.
	But he doesn't run at me, he gently touches the shiner I gave him
and looks down at the sheets. He chuckles sadly. "You hit me pretty hard. I
didn't know you had such a good arm." His voice is low and sounds scared,
like he's afraid I might hit him again.
	"I'm sorry about that Justin." I say softly.
	"Don't be." He looks back up at me "I shouldn't have called you a
whore. I shouldn't have said anything.  I shouldn't have hurt you Lance."
He hangs his head again, "I'm the one who should be saying sorry." He
glances up at me, "I'm sorry Lance."
	Those sad puppy dog eyes could melt ice. God I feel even worse
now. I feel like shit. "Its ok Justin."
	He looks up at me again, "You really forgive me Lance?" He could
have started World War III, but as long as he gives me THOSE eyes, I'd
still forgive him.
	I nod. His eyes seem to light up. He springs up out of the bed and
rushes to me. Pulling me into a tight embrace he tells me, "I was so afraid
I'd lost you. For good, forever. God I was so afraid..." He looks into my
eyes "I was so afraid I'd lost you to Wade."
	"No, Justin, you can't lose me. You're one of my best friends,
remember?" I smile at him.
	"I was afraid you'd get with Wade and you'd never let me touch you
or hold you again. I thought we'd never..." He trails off, stopping with
'we'd never.' So, I was right all along. He was afraid if I got with
someone else I wouldn't fuck him anymore.  I wouldn't let him in my
pants. I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to believe I was just his
little plaything. I didn't want that. As he leans down to kiss me, his lips
brush mine, but I pull my head away. "Lance, baby..."
	I remember the other morning, him holding Britney in his arms
telling her that he loved her and calling her baby. "You were afraid if I
got with Wade you couldn't fuck me anymore, huh Justin?" I repeat the
thought that just ran through my head moments ago.
	"Baby..." He starts
	I push myself out of his arms. "Baby?" I say, glaring at
him. "BABY?  Justin, I'm NOT your baby. Britney's your baby. I'm just your
little plaything." I growl at him. He gives me those eyes again. "I'm sick
of this!  I've told you a million times I'm SICK TO DEATH of being hurt by
you."
	He shakes his head rapidly, "No, NO Lance, I never wanted..."
	"You never WANTED to, but you did. You DID Justin!" I throw up my
hands.  "I've had enough. I should have listened to Joey and I shouldn't
have come here. I knew you'd..." I'm gonna hit him again if I don't leave
now. So for both our sakes, I turn and storm out the door, paying no
attention to his cries for me to come back. Something inside me tells me I
shouldn't be so mad, that I should have let him kiss me, I should have let
him hold me. But I'm SO done with this, with HIM.
	As I walk out into the hall I pretend I can't hear him crying for
me still.  And I realize that it wasn't just any something telling me to
stay in his arms, it was my heart. But since when do I listen to my heart?

____________________________________________________________________________
I know, I know, I know. Its short! Sorry, I'm lazy! And as I was writing
this I was attempting to write a paper I have due on monday for one of my
classes. Yeah ok so I've known about the assignment for about two weeks but
I procrastinate.  SUE ME! Anywho, the story is almost done, there's maybe
one or two maybe three chapters left. I haven't made up my mind yet. But I
do have another story in the works. Yeah its still rolling around inside my
head but at least its up there.  I'll get it on paper, some day, I hope.
Well, anyway, I almost had Lance hit Justin again, because well, I saw
another Nsync show where Justin did something else to piss me off. Sorry
Justin lovers, he just seems like he's be a little bit of a bitch. And
what's up with all the songs they're making singles being written by
Justin? I mean, 'Up against the Wall' and 'The Two of us' are Kick Ass
songs. JC wrote those. Make those into Videos! Those would ROCK!  Sorry,
I'm wasting your time. I just felt like ranting about something. :) As
always, I love feedback from you beautiful people!
Sweet_Music5@hotmail.com

Love Alwayz
Pandora
;)