Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2000 00:21:01 EST
From: Sprout _ <bigdaddycool_0813@hotmail.com>
Subject: This-Gift-7

*******************************Author's Notes**********************************

	I know, I know, I'm sorry it took me so long, and I have no excuses
-- only facts -- I'm lazy! So I'm to blame... though take it out on
MattHunter. He's been pissing me off not posting the rest of his story. And
pester DLS cause Matt's not gonna post it until DLS is done with Brian &
Me.

	I gotta say THANK YOU to MH, cause if it weren't for him, you
wouldn't be reading this story in a legible format. I owe him a lot, and I
can never express all my gratitude towards him. You're the bestest! (And
you know I mean it!)

	I gotta give mention to a story Kevin & Justin, written by Pete. I
fell upon it by having the same editor (go figure), and can't get enough of
it.  C'mon Boo, when's the next chapter coming out?

	I want to thank all of y'all who got off your lazy asses, dished
out some cash and bought the new 98 Degrees album REVELATION. It's truly a
remarkable display of their talent, and well worth the price. (And you
cheap asses takin' from Napster, get out there and support my men, BUY IT!)

	Sad to say, yes it's true Drew married. He's finally tied the knot
with his high school sweetheart Lea. Though it shatters my dreams of him
being gay, I know (in my dreams) that he's at least bi. I wish them both
the best of luck, and hope their relationship remains strong through the
trials and tribulations that will be set forth. CONGRATS DREW! (Yeah, like
he's even reading this.)

	You know the rules... don't read if you ain't allowed, this is
fake, my fantasies... yeah, there. Enjoy and write me:
bigdaddycool_0813@hotmail.com


************************THIS GIFT - Last Time*********************************

	Shaking slightly from a chill, I subconsciously crawled under the
covers. My man soon crawled in beside me, wrapping his arms around me - the
warmth formerly provided by clothes, returning. I sighed into his chest and
quickly fell back asleep with a smile glued on my face.

	It seemed like only minutes had passed when I heard someone scream,
"What the FUCK is this?" I knew that voice... it was Drew's, and it wasn't
coming from in bed with me...

************************THIS GIFT - Chapter 7*********************************

	Opening my eyes, I allowed them to adjust to the sudden light
before taking in the image of Drew and Lance at the door of my bedroom,
completely shocked. 'This can't be good,' I thought, as I slowly began to
turn to see who my mystery guest was.

	Finally turning my head completely to the right, I came across the
sleeping form of JC. 'How can he sleep through Drew's screaming, and what
the FUCK is he doing in *my* bed?' Too many thoughts were flying around in
my head, and I hadn't a clue what to say. I sat there in my bed, mouth
agape.

	"Drew, I honestly don't know what's happening." I said, shock clear
in my weak voice.

	"Oh, I know what happened alright. You wanted to come home early so
you could fuck JC! I understand completely!" He was truly angry, and I
couldn't blame him. Here I was, in my bed, with another man, that I didn't
love.  Lance stood by his side, obviously upset. Tears were building in his
eyes - destroying me inside. I wanted answers, no, I *needed* answers.

	With the back of my hand, I smacked JC in the side of the
head. "Wake up.  We got some talking to do!"

	"Gimme a couple of minutes," he groaned.

	"No! Get the fuck up NOW!" I yelled.

	With the anger clear in my voice, he awoke without a second
thought.  "We'll leave you two alone." Drew said, pulling Lance behind
him. I was shocked.  I thought Drew trusted me. It would've hurt less had
Drew stabbed me with a dagger - straight through the heart.

	"What's wrong?" JC asked, still half asleep.

	"You! What are you doing in *my* bed?" I asked coldly.

	"Huh?"

	"You are in *my* bed. Do you mind telling me why the fuck you are?"
I was being rude, but at this point, I didn't care. He deserved it.

	"Last night, I was coming to pick up Lance's jeep for him, as a
favour.  Well, as a favour for both of us. You see... well..." JC began to
stutter.

	"Well what?" I demanded, annoyed with his delaying the explanation.

	"You wouldn't understand." JC said looking down at his hands,
fidgeting with the sheets.

	"Try me." I said with a sigh. 'This had better be good,' I
thought. I couldn't help but be angry with him; he was the cause of Drew's
anger towards me. Things were just going good...

	"Well... you know the other day... when you were looking at the box
that Maria gave you?" I nodded. "Well..." JC let out a breath I hadn't
known he was holding. Whatever he was about to say was taking a lot of
courage. "I like you!  There, I said it. When you were looking through
those things, and you said that you won that bear because of the one kiss
from Maria, and you fell in love with Maria that day... well... I figured
you could love me if I gave you a kiss."

	"Oh fuck me," I whispered.

	"What?" JC inquired.

	"JC, I'm flattered, but you know I'm involved. I'm happy with
Drew. I love Drew. Any guy would be lucky to have you. *I* would be lucky
to have you, but...  I can't. I'm... ugh! Why does this have to be so
hard?"

	"I understand. Really, I do." JC said, still looking down. My heart
really ached for the guy. Placing my index finger under his chin, I slowly
raised his head to look him in the eye. His eyes looked like two pools of
water - filled with tears - reminding me of Lance. Lance had to be crying
in the other room with Drew. 'Fuck, why me? Why me?' I couldn't help but
ask myself the question that had been plaguing my mind for every single
mishap and misunderstanding that had happened to me.

	"JC, what's wrong with Lance?" I asked, while wiping at his tears
with my thumbs. He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes. It hurt me to
see him in such pain. The battles he must've been fighting with himself...

	"I like Lance... I really do. But I liked you more. When Lance
announced that he was gay, I hated him. I hated him because he had enough
courage to come forward. I would never have the strength to do that. It
hurt me to shun him like that, but I felt if I gave him support, that I'd
be outing myself - something I wasn't ready to do."

	"I understand. So, would you be willing to give Lance a chance? JC,
he cares about you, a lot - I can tell. You should've seen how crushed he
was when he walked in with Drew and saw you in bed with me. Ten bucks says
he's in the other room crying his eyes out as we speak."

	"You think so?" JC asked, composing himself slightly. I just
nodded, deciding we had talked enough, and figured it was time to take the
bull by the horns, and go to talk to the others.

	"C'mon, we got some more talking to do." With that, I lead the way
down the stairs to my living room where Drew and Lance were waiting. And I
was right - Lance had been crying.

	Walking into the room, Drew got up from the sofa and embraced me in
a hug. "I'm sorry baby. I know I can trust you; I just got a little jealous
at first. I know you didn't do anything with him... did you?" There was a
little doubt in the end of his sentence, but I was so relieved he was cool
I didn't have time to feel upset that he'd doubted me.

	"No, I didn't," I stated simply, rubbing my hands up and down his
back.  "But we gotta talk, all of us." I indicated everyone in the room. I
grabbed a seat with Drew on the sofa, while JC dropped down beside Lance on
the love seat.

	We sat in silence for a good five minutes before anything was
said. The tension was definitely thick and I knew if we were going to get
this conversation going, I would have to start it. "So, um... I think JC
has something he'd like to say, to explain what you saw."

	JC looked at me - uncertainty clearly expressed - before taking a
deep breath and beginning his explanation. "First off, you gotta remember
back to when we met Andrew for the first time, at his party. He amazed
me. He was just everything that I could've wanted, could've asked for. I
was in complete awe.

	"I wasn't expecting to see him again, so I left the feelings I had
on the down low. Then, we saw him again, a couple of nights ago when he was
there with his box of memories. Remember how he said he had won that bear
because of one kiss from Maria?" JC looked at Drew, then Lance, both of
whom nodded in confirmation.

	"And then I asked him, 'So, all it took was a quick kiss, and you
managed to win the bear?' and I still remember his answer, clear as day,
'Yup, pretty much.' I figured that if I could just give him one kiss, like
Maria, I'd be in. I never thought of anything else... I rarely ever do.

	"So, when I told you I would go and get your jeep as a favour," he
directed towards Lance, "I was hoping that I'd get my chance to kiss him. I
didn't. I came in and saw him on the couch - so peaceful and with a smile
gracing his lips - I couldn't do it. I knew he was happy the way he was.
That's why I took him to his bed and figured if I couldn't get my kiss, I'd
at least get to sleep beside him. Maybe feel like he did want me, kinda.

	"I never meant to hurt anyone. Not you, Drew, and especially not
you, Lance. Lance, you mean so much to me and I *do* like you. It's just
when you came forward, telling us you were gay... I got upset. I wanted to
be like you and have the courage to come out. I wanted to proclaim who I
was from the rooftops, but I can't. I'm not as strong as you are -- I'll
probably never be.

	"I'm so sorry this happened. I've fucked up, I know I have, and I
understand if neither of you wants to even look at me anymore. Just please
know that I am sorry, and don't blame Andrew - he didn't know anything
about this until he woke up. It's all my fault."

	JC once again went to looking down at his hands. Silence. Nothing
was said as JC desperately waited for a reply - any reply. Drew was first
to speak.  "JC, I'm not mad at you. I'm not gonna lie; I was upset, but not
anymore. I trust D, and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me like
that. When I came into the room, and saw that... I didn't know what to
think. I'm glad you didn't try anything with him, and even though nothing
really happened, it's gonna take me a bit before I let things go back to
the way they were. I hope you understand."

	JC just nodded, veering his attention over towards Lance. This was
the one that was gonna hit home the most for JC, so I prayed for the
best. Lance looked into JC's eyes, peering at his soul, searching for any
sign of lies. "JC...  you like me?" The question was asked with such
hesitation - Lance was still unsure of what to say.

	Smiling, JC answered, "Yes Lance, I like you."

	"Like like-me-like-me?" Lance reiterated.

	"Yes Lance, I like-you-like-you."

	Lance smiled, happy with the news, but his smile soon faded, and
his face turned cold. "You asshole! You made me feel like shit, and for
what? FOR NOTHING!" Lance stormed out of the room, up the stairs and
presumably into the bathroom yet again.

	"Let me go talk to him," I said getting up and making my way up the
stairs. 'Damn, this is becoming like a fucking soap opera!' Finally
reaching the bathroom door, I knocked.

	"Andrew, I don't wanna talk right now... just let me be." Lance's
muffled reply came from the other side of the door.

	"C'mon Lance, lemme in. Please?" I could hear Lance sigh, and then
unlock the door. This was becoming a routine with Lance and I, having
powwows in the bathroom. It was actually quite interesting.

	As soon as I was through the door and Lance had closed it again, I
was embraced into a hug. Lance was upset, that was evident, but I just
couldn't really grasp why. I'm slow on some things, alright?

	"He made me feel like shit. He wouldn't even look at me, but now he
thinks that just by saying he likes me that everything will 'magically' be
back to the way they were? He's gotta be kidding himself."

	I understood what Lance was saying, and I felt bad for him. The one
he truly wanted, he didn't want at the moment because that someone had hurt
him.  Life sucked a lot of times, especially at times like this. I knew the
only way both would be happy would be with each other, they just had to
realise it themselves.

	"Scoop, look, you gotta just give him a chance to make up for past
wrong- doings. Everyone makes mistakes, you've made your fair share of
them, too, I'm sure."

	Lance sat on the toilet, and looked at me wide-eyed. "You called me
Scoop." Apparently that shocked him. I really didn't see why, since it was
a well-known nickname, but he thought it to be.

	"Lance, I do read magazines, you know. Anyone who thinks you're a
hottie would have to know your nickname. I told you before, I had a crush
on you for the longest time. Of course I know a little 'bout you. So, you
gonna give JC a chance to make things right?"

	Lance just looked up at me, trying to find any reason to disagree
with me, but couldn't find one. With a sigh, he reluctantly stated, "Yeah,
I'll give him a chance. I really don't see why I shouldn't... and he *did*
say he liked me."  Lance's serious expression soon faded, bringing light to
a beautiful smile that illuminated the bathroom.

	"So, I'm gonna go. You stay here, I'll send in JC and let you guys
talk.  K?" With Lance's nod, I left the bathroom in search of JC. Alright,
so I'm an impatient person, as soon as I passed the door frame, "JC!"

	"Yeah?" JC yelled back from the living room.

	"C'mere!" Without having to say anymore, JC was quickly bounding up
the stairs. Meeting me in the hallway, I explained that Lance wanted to
talk to him, so he almost ran to the bathroom, obviously overjoyed.

	I stood at the head of the stairs until I saw JC disappear behind
the door, and then made my way down to my sexy man. After all this
problem-solving business, I really missed him. All of this, and it wasn't
even past seven in the morning. I really wasn't looking forward to the rest
of the day - the funeral service. Funerals always made me uncomfortable;
the whole atmosphere of death was always something that lingered in the air
for days afterward.

	As I made my entrance to living room, I was graced to see my man...
sleeping. I guess he was as tired as I was. Glancing at the clock once
more, I decided that I had enough time for a nap before I had to be dressed
and ready for Maria's final big day. Crawling in beside Drew on the couch,
I nestled into him - my head on his chest - before falling asleep soundly.

	I awoke to something shifting under me. Rubbing my eyes and
allowing them to adjust to the light, I realised what it was: Drew. With a
smile on his face, he looked up at me and in his sexy morning voice said,
"G'morning sweetie."

	I swear, I could've jumped him right there. He was just so...
irresistible. Craning my neck, I went in for a kiss. What I was hoping to
be a passionate kiss, turned out to be a peck when Drew pulled back, "You,
my friend, have morning breath."

	Though it was mildly insulting, he said it with such compassion I
could only take lovingly. He had a way of making bad things sound
good. Just as I was about to ask him something, his cell phone rang,
interrupting our little silent time. Sometimes I had to curse technology -
it always interrupted the good moments.

	With a sympathetic look on his face, Drew pulled his cell out of
his pocket and pressing the 'send' button, began his conversation. "Yeah?
Hey Nick... no just woke up. Today?! But... yeah. Hold on, I'll check."

	I was so content listening to him talk that I zoned out. I didn't
even realise that he was talking to me until he began to gently shake my
shoulders.  "Sweetie... sweetie..."

Finally I snapped out of my reverie to answer him, "Eh?"

	Drew just laughed at my clueless moment, "Sweetie, what time is the
service?"

	"Um, the continued wake is from 11:00 to 2:00, and then we go to
the church for the memorial service at 2:45. Why?"

	Drew held up a finger indicating he'd explain in a second, going
back to his conversation. "Yeah, 2:45. Is there a later one? But can't
we... but...  couldn't we... Fuck!"

	The frustration in Drew's voice was starting to ping my
curiosity. Why was he so annoyed? With a sigh, he ended his conversation
with Nick and looked down on me with a look of... pain? Sorrow? Sympathy?

	"What's wrong Drew?" worry clear in my voice. Tears started to well
up in his eyes. I knew what was coming, "You can't make it to the service,
can you..."


	"I'm sorry. Management has called a meeting... an *emergency*
meeting. I have no choice but to go. The meeting's at 5:00, but we leave at
noon, cause they have us doing something else before the meeting. Nick
pleaded for some time, but they wouldn't give. That's how I know they mean
business. You know I'd stay with you if I could..."

	I silenced him by placing a finger to his lips. I could tell he
truly felt bad by the way he was rambling on. As much as it hurt me to know
I'd be going through this without Drew physically beside me, there was no
other choice.  "I understand. But I gotta get ready now; I can't be late."

	I got up, stretched, and then walked up the stairs, heading to my
room. Opening my door, I came upon two *N SYNCers, snuggled closely
together, in my bed. 'At least they knew to give me the bathroom so I can
shower.' I grabbed a towel from off my dresser, and headed to the bathroom.

	I showered quickly. I didn't want to waste any time, as I was
already pushing it. My little nap was a little longer than I expected; I
must've really been comfortable. After towelling off, I realised that I had
forgotten a change of clothes.

	Wrapping the towel around my waist, I exited the bathroom, and
walked to my closet to rummage around for appropriate attire for the day. I
looked around, making a fair share of noise as things fell from shelves and
whatnot. While looking, my towel had dropped from my waist and I just
didn't bother to pick it up.

	After a while, I found what I wanted to wear, picked it out of the
closet and turned to go place it on my bed. That's when I noticed the two
perverts who had been staring at my ass, while I rummaged through my
closet, and now stared at me in all my glory, as I stood frozen in shock
before them.

	Finally, what was going on clicked in and I quickly covered myself
with the clothes I was going to wear. "Oh, did ya like the free show, you
pervs!" I exclaimed.

	"Nice ass!" they replied in unison.

	With my cheeks flushing, I made a quick exit to the bathroom, so
that I could get dressed away from these perverts' eyes. I had done my
routine in record time - I wanted to get ready as fast as I could so I
could spend what little time with Drew I had left.

	Returning to the bedroom, my eyes fell upon Lance and JC making out
like animals in my bed. It was disgusting, to see them savagely preying
upon each other. Passing them an odd look, I silently headed for the door
to go and see my awaiting Prince Charming.

	After my descent down the stairs, I searched around the lower floor
for Drew, but didn't find him anywhere. As I walked into the kitchen, I
noticed a note on the table. My perkiness flew out the window; I knew it
was from Drew.  Picking it up, it was indeed what I had suspected:

		Andrew, I'm sorry I couldn't stay. The guys came to pick me
up while you were in the shower. I had to leave, we were going to miss our
flight. I'm sorry I can't be with you physically for the service, but you
know I'm there with you in your heart. The *N SYNC guys are still gonna be
there as far as I know. I know you and Lance get along well, so I'm sure
he'll be there for you. I'll call you tonight. Miss me while I'm gone, love
always, Drew

	My eyes filled up with tears as I realised I had no clue when I'd
get to see him again. That was the only problem with Drew's career - the
long-term distancing we'd have to put up with. I missed him already and
there was probably another three months to this loneliness. I sighed,
wiping at my tears just as JC walked into the kitchen in search of his
salvation: coffee.

	"What's wrong, D?" JC asked noticing the tears.

	"Drew had to leave..." I didn't have to explain any further than
that. JC was in the same business as Drew and knew the restraints stardom
put on a relationship. Being gay only added to the complexity of the
situation. It tore me up to have to keep things secret; I could only
imagine how Drew must've been feeling.

	I wiped at my eyes, removing the tears. I had to be strong, it was
a special day for Maria, and I couldn't let her see me down. I was happy
with Drew, no need for crying. JC grabbed me into a hug, running his hands
in circles on my back in a soothing manner. I grabbed onto JC as if he were
a lifeline, not wanting to let go. He whispered reassurances in my ear, all
while I cried onto his shoulder. Every minute away from Drew felt like a
moment closer to death.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I jolted awake, roused from my slumber by the doorbell. Oh how I
hated mornings! I trudged my way to the front door, trying to make myself
presentable in the process. Taking a quick glance at a clock before I
rounded the corner leading to the hallway, I noticed that it was just after
11:00 in the morning.

	Unlocking and opening the door revealed a courier clad in an ugly
brown suit. I never understood why they had to wear hideous looking
clothes; you can look good and still look professional. After exchanging
pleasantries, he passed me a thick, very official looking
envelope. Glancing at the front of it I noticed two things: the first being
that it was from Universal Records, the second that it was late. It
should've made it to my house about a week ago.

	"Could you please sign here, sir?" the courier asked.

	Being shaken from my thoughts, I looked at the man. "Excuse me, you
know this is a week late, don't you?"

	"Is it?" The man had a look of complete shock on his face. Either
he didn't know, or he was a damned good liar. He looked at the date marked
on the priority sticker. "It must've got lost at the post office. Hope it
wasn't anything important."

	I shrugged my shoulders, and signed the electronic form the courier
held forth for me. After closing the door, I made my way back into my
kitchen, envelope in hand. As I entered the kitchen, the phone
rang. Throwing the envelope on the table, I pivoted to the right, grabbing
my cordless in the process. "Hello?"

	"Sweetie, are you still coming over for lunch?" It was my mom. I
had forgotten that I had made plans to go and see her for a 'lunch-date',
you know to catch up on everything.

	"Shit, mama I almost forgot, let me get ready and I'll be right
over."  After hanging up the phone, I dashed up the stairs for the
shower. Standing under the steady stream of hot water, I began to think
about the past.

	It had been a year - give or take a week - since Maria's service. I
had just been to visit her grave and placed flowers on it Saturday
passed. The service was touching for lack of better wording. The *N SYNC
guys had somehow changed things around so they could sing Amazing Grace,
instead of the choir of old ladies. It was incredible to hear them
harmonise in the confines of the old building. Maria deserved such a
blessing to have them there that day, singing in her honour.

	These guys were the greatest. After the service, when all I wanted
was to be alone, they each took turns alternating every hour to keep me
occupied and having fun. Though I had already had a level of closeness with
Lance, it became more profound that day. I truly felt a friend in him for
life. Surprisingly I got along really well with Justin; I really liked his
goofy, carefree attitude - it was just what I needed at the time. They
eventually had to leave, but we've kept in touch.

	I've talked to Drew every night on the phone, and seen him maybe
once a month - if I was lucky. Come to think of it, I never did find out
what that emergency meeting was about or how it went. I really missed Drew
and he missed me; that's what he told me every night.

	He had been busy with the guys working on a new album. He didn't
tell me much about it, just that it was called "Revelation", and that it
was going to be very different from their other albums. As always, I
supported him through it, especially when times got hard and he thought the
whole album was gonna be scrapped. There had been many a night where I was
on the phone until the wee hours of the morning assuring him that
everything would work out.

	By this time in my little dreamland, I had already finished my
shower and was just pulling up in my mother's lane way. I turned off the
ignition and made my way to the door, where my mother had already been
standing, holding the door for me.

	After kissing me on the cheek - like she always does - I walked
into my mom's house and my childhood memories. Following her to the
kitchen, we sat down and talked about nothing for a bit while the food she
was preparing finished cooking. Once the food was finished, and she had
served it, we began our conversation again, reminiscing about things here
and there. Like a bombshell, a thought dropped on my lap.

	"Mama?"

	"Yeah, Hun?" she turned serious, hearing the tone of my voice. She
knew that meant something was bugging at me.

	"I have something to tell you..." I trailed off, leaving her in
suspense.

	"Honey, what is it?" Worry was evident in her voice.

	"Mama, remember when I was living here, and I read those
stories..." She nodded her head, indicating she did. "Remember how you
asked me if I was gay, and I told you I wasn't?" Again she nodded. "Well,
I'm not gay."

	"Alright?" Mama was confused, and she had every right to be. I
didn't clarify anything.

	"Mama, I'm not gay. I'm bi."

	She sat there, a look of confusion still prominent. "That means I
like both boys and girls." I said, hoping to clarify things a bit.

	"I know what bi means!" She practically screamed. I winced at the
tone of her voice - she didn't like it when people thought she didn't know
something.  "So, who is it?"

	"Huh?" It was my turn to be confused.

	"I said 'Who is it'. He better be damn good looking."

	A smile crept across my lips - I was about to reveal my boyfriend
to my mom. This was something to be written in my 'Baby's
first... book'. With great pride, I began my revelation. "Mama, remember
how I always listened to music before going to school. Do you remember the
music group I listened to?"

	"Ninety Degrees?"

	I chuckled, not much had changed, mama never got names
right. "Ninety- Eight Degrees, mom. Ninety-Eight Degrees. Anyways, you
remember the guys?"

	"Nope." I had another chuckle - at least she was being honest. I
jumped up and headed to my old bedroom. Mama had left it the way it was
since I had left.  Grabbing one of my old 98 Degrees CD's, I headed back to
the kitchen and placed the CD before her.

	"Take your pick."

	Mama looked at the CD cover for while, before opening the case,
pulling out the liner notes and further examining each man. I could just
imagine my mom sitting on a bench shopping for a boyfriend for me. She
looked totally occupied, like she was examining their features and breaking
each one of the men down to see who she thought was the best for me. After
glancing at their photos, she quickly turned to their thank-yous. Finally,
after a full five minutes, she pointed to Drew.

	A smile crossed my face. "Yup."

	"You've got taste: hold on to him."

	I spent the rest of the day with my mom, just maxin' and relaxin',
shooting the breeze. I never realised how much I had missed spending time
with my mom.

	Walking through my door, I threw the keys to my van on the table
just inside the door. Kicking off my shoes, I walked to the kitchen to grab
a glass of water. When I was young, Mama and I used to have competitions on
who could eat the spiciest food, usually eating nachos with suicide-like
salsa.  Tonight we decided to have just such a competition. I wasn't about
to lose by telling her I needed some water, so I was in desperate need for
a glass.

	I guzzled down at least three glasses before the fire on my tongue
was doused. After a contented yawn, I looked down at the table, seeing the
envelope the courier had delivered earlier. Picking it up, I walked to the
living room and turned on the TV. Being just after 11:00 at night, the news
was on. I never really watched the news, but was planning on checking out
the contents of the envelope so I opted to leave it on.

	Just as I began peeling back the sealed flap, I overheard the
reporter on the TV. "And some sad news for those teen girls out there, yet
another hottie in the music industry has been removed from the market after
a member from the boy- band 98 Degrees tied the knot yesterday, we'll find
out who after this..."

	"Bout time Nick asked Jessica." I said to myself, pulling out the
stack of papers. Looking at the first page, I realised something official
was in store for me. After reading the cover letter, I had learned this
package was from Drew's manager. Apparently he had learned of our
relationship and was going to make sure I didn't fuck things up. I had to
sign this contract of secrecy and send it back to them as soon as I had
finished - the cost was on them, how generous.

	Sighing, I picked up the stack, and began reading through the
contract.  Three paragraphs into the contract, I realised that I hated
contracts.  "What's wrong with the English language, would it be too hard
to write?" I rhetorically asked myself aloud.

	My attention was diverted from the packet of papers at the sound of
some familiar voices. It was a clip of a new 98 Degrees video. Seeing my
man on TV brought a smile to my face. God, how I missed him! "Sorry to say
girls, but Drew Lackey of 98 Degrees married his high school sweetheart,
Lea, yesterday. I'd tell you which one he is, but I don't even know. KTLA
wishes them both the best of luck."

	I sat there, in shock for a second. Once the shock had passed
through my body, I threw the contract across the room, swearing at the
TV. "It's Lachey you dumb bitch! Not Lackey, LA - SHAY!" I started to pace
the room, not knowing what to do. A ringing from the coffee table brought
me somewhat out of my enraged state. "Hello?"

	"Honey, I thought you said Drew was *your* boyfriend?" I guess my
mom had seen the news as well.

	"He is, or so I thought. I'm going to figure things out, once and
for all.  Talk to you later mama, I love you."

	I hung up the phone, tears falling from my tired eyes. I was too
tired for this shit. I glanced at the clock, it was a quarter to midnight
and I was expecting Drew to call me soon. I decided to just sit and cry
awaiting his call.  Not even five minutes later, the phone began ringing
again. "Hi," I said exasperated.

	"Drew, did you break up with Drew?" It was Martha. At this point I
was glad only a handful of people knew I was with Drew, or I would have
been up all night accepting calls about this news brief.

	"Nope... but I think I will."

	"You saw it too?"

	"Yeah, I saw it. Martha it's a complete shock to me. I just talked
to him last night... last night for God's sake!" Hurt was oozing through
the phone.

	"He didn't say anything?"

	"FUCK NO!"

	Just then, a thought occurred to me. I remembered the courier
saying 'Hope it wasn't anything important.' I silently cursed the mail
system, and was sure to call and give them a piece of my mind
tomorrow. Just then I heard a beep indicating I had someone calling me on
the other line.

	"Martha, thanks for calling, but I have another line so I'll let
you go, k?"

	"Alright, but call me if you need anything." She always made sure I
knew she was there for me.

	"I will sexy, g'night."

	I had pushed the call-waiting button to switch over lines; secretly
hoping it would be my mom again. Something just made me wish it was her; I
needed motherly comforting at the time.

	"Hi?"

	'FUCK! It's Drew!' I exclaimed in my head. "Hi." My voice was
devoid of emotion.

	"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

	"Don't 'sweetie, what's wrong me', you hear! WHAT THE FUCK is going
on?" I was through playing games.

	"What do you mean?" Either he was playing dumb, or he had no idea
the news had found out.

	"You're fucking married! That's what I'm talking about!" I shouted
into the mouthpiece.

	"Oh that... let me explain."

	"What's to explain... is it true, are you married?" I was choking
on my tears. A knife had been stabbed right through my heart.

	"Well, yeah."

	"Then what's to fucking explain?!?" I slammed the phone down into
its cradle. "FUCKING ASSHOLE!!" I screamed, echoing throughout the house. I
slumped down onto the couch, and cried myself to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I awoke to someone pounding on the door. 'Why is it I'm always
getting woken up by the fucking door!' I ripped open the door, ready to
tear into whoever it was. That thought soon faded as I collapsed into
Nick's arms. He ran his arms up and down my back, hugging me in return.

	"What are you doing here?" I asked, extremely happy he was, yet
shocked at the same time.

	"I had a talk with Drew last night..." From the sound of his name,
my smile dropped and my stare became cold. "D, you don't understand."

	"Nick, what's to fucking understand!" I screamed. Just then, a taxi
pulled up the driveway, and Lance got out. Now I was completely
confused. "Lance," I began when he got closer, "whatcha doin' here? Aren't
you recording?"

	"Yeah... but I couldn't just let you go through this alone; though
I didn't know Nick was gonna be here." He grabbed Nick up into a hug,
before throwing himself into my arms. It felt good knowing that I had
friends who truly cared about me, though I didn't know whether Nick was
here for me or for Drew.

	"Thanks Lance. You have no idea how much it means to me." I pulled
him tighter to me, showing him I truly did appreciate his gesture. "Now
let's go inside, the last thing I need is a riot because I've got two
incredibly sexy boy-band members on my front door step."

	They both agreed. I grabbed both Lance and Nick's bags and brought
them in, setting them on the floor in the living room - next to the
contract I had thrown the night before. I smiled while turning to face
them. Locking eyes with Nick, then Lance, I broke down. I was in such
internal pain. Drew didn't love me... he was married... and to a girl!

	Nick wrapped me up in a hug; I always felt so safe and secure in
his arms.  I loved Nick - he was always there to pick up the pieces once I
had scattered them. I sobbed into his chest while he rubbed circles on my
back. It surprised me how he knew that soothed me almost instantly. He
didn't try to say anything, didn't rock me back and forth; he just stood
there with me in his arms, rubbing circles on my back.

	A couple of minutes later, Lance came back with a mug in his
hands. "Here, drink this. It'll make you feel better." He offered the mug
forward with pleading eyes.

	"Oh my Poofu," I said, raising my hands to cup his face. I
seriously sounded delusional, but Lance didn't say a word. His facial
features betrayed his silence, but I was grateful he didn't say
anything. He just leaned into my touch, kissing the palm of my hand. I had
no clue what the gesture was supposed to mean, but figured it was just an
attempt to cheer me up.

	"Drink this," this time he grabbed my hands from his face, and
placed them around the mug. "Then we're gonna go out," he indicated Nick
and myself, "and have some fun. It's not everyday I get to hang out with
two really good friends when I should be recording."

	I took a sip of the tea, 'Just the way I like it - Lance learns
fast.'  "Hey, aren't both of you supposed to be recording?" I inquired.

	"Yeah, but you know why I'm here. That and the guys practically
forced me to come, especially JC." Lance filled me in, making sure I knew I
had the others' support behind me as well.

	"I'm supposed to be, but I wouldn't have been able to record with
my mind somewhere else. And with Drew's present condition, we can't record
anyways," Nick explained his position.

	"Drew's condition? What condition?" I immediately became worried -
my baby was in trouble. All anger I felt for him disappeared for a brief
moment.

	"He's emotionally distressed. It's been a hard week for him. He
knew you'd take this hard, that's why he didn't tell you about it. He
didn't think the press would get a hold of it. He wanted to tell you,
really, he did." Nick defended his little bro.

	"That still doesn't excuse the fact that he *didn't* tell D," Lance
surprised me by stepping in. "They're a couple, they're together. How can
you hide something like getting married, to someone else, from the one you
love?"

	"I don't know!" Nick exclaimed with frustration. "This is all
management's fault. That emergency meeting last year was about this whole
gay thing. I'm sick of this shit. My career's in danger because of my
little bro's sexual preferences. My life's in his hands. Management tried
to cover it up with a marriage, and things fuck up more. Why can't I just
have a fuckin' normal life?  That's all I ask!"

	Tears came to my eyes; Nick was being callous. I never realised how
much he and Drew were alike. When they were mad, anything came out. "I'm
sorry I love your brother, I'm sorry I'm not in love with a girl, I'm sorry
for your career, and I'm sorry if I've caused you any problems. Drew's made
it clear he wants a 'normal life', let him have it. You don't have to worry
about anything anymore.  Just forget I even fucking exist!" The last
sentence was said with such anger that I even scared myself.

	I looked at their shocked faces before pivoting and heading for the
door.  Just as I was slamming it shut, I heard Lance scold Nick, "Good
one!" I stormed my way down my street, heading for the park. I just wanted
to sit on the edge of the pond, and lose myself in the calmness of the
water. I was thankful it was a beautiful day, the sun shining down on my
closed eyelids as I lay back in the grass relaxing me somewhat.

	I needed to talk to someone desperately, someone who would
listen. I knew just the person. Jumping up, I ran to the bus that had just
pulled up to the bus stop. Jumping on and paying the fare, I quickly sat
down wishing the driver would go faster - the bus always seemed to take
longer when you were in a hurry to get somewhere.

	Jumping off, I bolted to my destination: Maria's grave. I had
visited Maria almost every day, save for times when I just couldn't make
it. I sat down in a familiar spot, running my fingers over the letters on
her tombstone.

	"Maria, I don't know what to do. I wish you were here. Remember how
last week I was telling you I thought something was wrong with Drew? Well I
found out: he got married. How could he get married without even telling
me? I love him - I can't lose him.

	"I just got into an argument with Nick. I told him Drew should
forget about me, so he can have his 'normal life' that he wants. Maria, I
didn't choose this, it just kinda happened this way. God wanted it for me
this way, right?

	"My life is falling apart. Things were just going good. I told mama
about Drew and she was so accepting, and then this. She knows too... she
saw the news.  Oh Maria, what do I do? I miss you, and I need you..."

	I leaned forward and placed a kiss on the tombstone, the way I had
every time I visited her. After a silent prayer, I got an answer to my
question.  This little child tugged at my shirt - he couldn't have been
more than six years old.  I looked around for his parents but couldn't find
them.

	"Mister, I heard you talking to your friend," he said pointing to
the monument erected in Maria's honour. "She was special, right?"

	I nodded, "Yes, she was special."

	"And you love someone who doesn't love you, right?"

	"You could say that, yeah." I replied.

	"Well, mom's here to visit dad. She feels like she's not loved
anymore since he's gone. I keep telling her that he does, but she can't
feel it because he's not here with her. Mister, love comes from your heart,
not from a body.  Just because you can't see the person you love doesn't
mean they don't love you.  Love beats everything, that's what grandma
says. " And then he was gone -- his mom had begun calling for him, so he
quickly left without saying good-bye.

	I looked to Maria's tombstone, then to the sky with a smile
prominent on my face. 'Thank you Maria, I love you!' Everything the little
boy said was true.  Drew did love me, and I knew we'd get through this, if
only I was willing to allow it. I had to talk to Drew. We had to get things
right.

	I suddenly became extremely happy, making a mad dash for my
house. I didn't wait for the bus, it'd only be an extra ten minutes longer
I'd have to wait for calling Drew. I needed to talk to him and work things
out. We needed to pull through this.

	Fifteen minutes later, I was walking up my driveway. Quietly
opening my door and stepping in, I heard talking coming from the living
room. Now I've got in and caused, a lot of shit from eavesdropping, but I
just couldn't help it.  Quietly walking to the entrance to the living room,
I stood at the corner and listened.

	"Drew, I'm sorry man. I fucked up. Maybe I shouldn't have come to
fix things; you should've sent Jeff." From what I could figure, Nick was
talking to Drew.

	"Nick, don't worry about it - give him time to cool off. What did
you say?" He was on speaker phone, thought I couldn't for the likes of me
figure out why.

	"It's true man, just let him think for a bit. He knows you're upset
and didn't mean anything." Lance was there, that's why it was on speaker.

	"Yeah, I guess. Drew, I told him that I hated all of this, that I
just wanted to have a normal life. I didn't mean it like that. I just hate
all this having to watch what we do, having to always hide you and D. And
now with this whole cover up thing... I just can't take this. It's too much
stress..."  Nick rambled on, beginning to choke on his words.

	"Nick, it's alright... he should be back soon, and we can talk
things through." Lance was taking my role, trying to soothe the aches that
plagued Nick, just like I always did for Lance.

	"I love him so much. I didn't mean to hurt him; he's like family to
me."  Nick continued to sob, and glancing in, I noticed it was on Lance's
shoulder.

	"Drew, why don't you come here, and we'll all talk things
through. I know Andrew just needs some time. And I think you should bring
Lea with you...  she's as much a part of this now as everyone else." Lance
was always business-minded; I liked that about him.

	"K, we'll take the next flight out. Nick, try and hang in
there... we'll fix this." Drew had hung up, leaving the room in silence,
save Nick's sobbing.

	I truly felt bad for exploding on Nick, but I was hurt. Everything
that was happening, and everything he had said turned out to be too much
for me to handle. I do dumb things when I am upset. I typically don't think
things through before my thoughts passed my lips. By then, it was too late.

	I made my presence known by walking in and clearing my
throat. Their two heads spun around at the sound, then Nick bolted out of
Lance's arms and onto his knees in front of me. "D, please forgive me. I'm
so sorry... I didn't mean it... I swear..." Tears falling from his red
eyes. The sight killed me inside.

	"Nick, I don't want to hear it!" I said sternly. His expression
changed to one of pure agony. Realising what he was most likely thinking, I
dropped to my knees and grabbed him in my arms. "I already know, Nick, I
don't need to hear it. I'm sorry too."

	"You forgive me?" Nick sounded like a five year-old afraid to ask
the question.

	Pulling him up, and walking back over to the sofa, I nodded. "Yeah,
I forgive you. It's just all this lately has me very unstable. Nick, you've
always been there for me and to see you... accusing me like that, hurt
immensely.  When the news reporter said that a member or 98 Degrees tied
the knot, I thought you finally popped the question to Jess. Never in my
life would I have guessed it was Drew."

	"D, if I was marrying Jess, you'd know - I'd tell you..." he
trailed off as the realisation hit him. "Oh."

	"See."

	"Why don't we go out, rent a movie, get some pizza or somethin',
and relax for the night?" Lance sounded so incredibly sexy with his accent
peeking through.

	"Yeah, c'mon... let's go." I agreed, dragging them out the
door. Lance called shotgun, and soon we were off to get our entertainment
for the night.  The ride was silent, tension was thick, and all I could
think about was how I wanted to be in Drew's arms. Not being able to stand
the silence for long, I reached over to the radio and turned it on.

	"And here is *N SYNC with `It's Gonna Be Me'..." The DJ began to
play the track, as I leaned over and blasted the volume.

	Lance groaned, "Do we have to listen to *this*?"

	"What, it's one of my favourite songs..." I trailed off, as he
rolled his eyes at me. "And those guys are kinda cute, don't you think?"

	Lance didn't answer me. In fact, the only reply I received was that
of Nick taking up the vocals in the back seat, singing along with the
song. At that moment I was grateful, for the tension that had lingered in
the air previously dissipated in an instant.

	We arrived at the movie store, and I, figuring they'd get
recognised if they came in with me, told them to stay in the van. Nick
craned his neck to peek in the store and scope out the situation.

	"Hmmm, looks like six people... mostly above twenty... none in the
teen range...  except for the clerk... but he's a guy, so we're good. We're
coming in." With that, they unbuckled their seat belts and stepped out of
the van.

	Sighing, I got out of the van as well and followed them into
BlockBuster.  I had a gut feeling that someone was gonna cause a scene, and
that was the last thing that I wanted. We casually made our way to the back
of the store, where the new releases were, in hopes to find something
worthwhile to watch.

	I decided to let Lance and Nick choose the movie. I was willing to
watch anything really. As long as I got to choose the pizzas, it really
didn't matter.  I meandered around the store, glancing every now and then
at a movie cover.

	I was so rudely knocked back to reality by someone screaming. "Oh
my God!  Oh my God! You're... you're... it's... it's..." I knew it. Turning
around I saw the clerk boy jumping up and down like a little teenage girl.

	"Yes, I'm Lance from *N SYNC," his voice sounding bored at the
thought. It made me wonder exactly how much Lance actually liked the life
he was living.  Lance tried to calm to boy down, "I'll give you an
autograph, money, anything...  just keep it down. The boy nodded, and began
to finish up the transaction. I walked up behind them just as Nick was
handing the boy his credit card.

	"YOU'RE NICK LACHEY!" The boy exclaimed, making heads turn. By this
time, the store had filled up with more people, particularly more younger
people who obviously knew who my two friends were.

	I just sighed, "I'll see you two in the van." Lance nodded his
understanding as I turned and walked out the door. I had at least ten
minutes to myself waiting for them in the van. Ten minutes to finally
think, ten minutes to piece things together. `Where is my life going?' I
asked myself. At one time I thought I knew, but now I wasn't so sure. `I
can't pretend I'm not hurt. The one I love goes off and marries someone
else without even telling me. Sure, it may be a cover up, but without
telling me? Why do I even bother...'

	My thoughts trailed off as my passengers finally made it back to
the van.  "We're good, we're coming, eh?" I mocked Nick playfully.

	"Well, we *were* good until that fairy boy opened his loud-ass
mouth!"  Nick, having called shotgun, witnessed the change of my expression
after he finished that sentence. Suddenly I didn't want to watch videos, I
just wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to free myself from this judgmental
world, just escape to my own little world where everything may not be so
perfect but made me happy nonetheless.

	"I'm so sorry, D." He said, surprisingly sincerely. I had no clue
exactly who Nick was anymore. I thought him supportive, I thought him my
best friend, and now I was reluctant to even say I knew him.

	"Yeah, you're sorry alright!" I exclaimed callously. I knew it was
harsh, but who cares. He deserved it; he just twisted the dagger he shoved
into my chest earlier, causing further damage to my heart.

	"D, please... I'm sorry..." Nick was pleading with me now, but my
pride wouldn't allow me to back down. Once he realised that he wasn't going
to get a reaction out of me, he buckled his seat belt and I drove us
home. Fuck the pizza, if they wanted it they could order out.

	I pulled into my driveway, rather quickly, slamming on the breaks
and making the car stop with a jerk. I rammed it into park and pulled the
keys out, running into my house and up the stairs.

	Throwing myself onto my bed, I broke down, my body convulsing with
each sob. I had my face buried in my pillow, drowning myself with tears.
Suddenly, the bed beside me sank down as someone took a seat. The next
thing I felt was a hand rubbing circular motions on my back. Turning my
head to the right, I saw Lance looking down at me, concern clearly written
on his face.

	"You alright?" He asked with a certain level of hope.

	"No." I answered quite honestly. "What's wrong with him. What does
he have against me?"

	Lance's face contorted with confusion, "Who?"

	"Nick... what the fuck did I do to him for him to treat me like
this?" My voice faltered a bit, making me sound like a teenage boy going
through puberty while his voice cracked.

	"You didn't do anything, he's just upset right now. You gotta
understand what he's going through. Andrew, he's hurting too."

	"Lance, I gotta understand what he's going through? How can I
understand what he is going through if he doesn't even try to understand
what *I'm* going through? I'm dying inside, and all he does is make me feel
worse. I'm not gay, I'm bi, his brother's gay... it may not be a normal
life, but it's a life we choose to live.

	"He has no idea how it feels to have to hide your relationship, to
keep it a secret. His relationship with Jess is so public, no one really
knows about Drew and I. To make things worse, I have to put up with my
boyfriend marrying someone else... *without* telling me. I'm dying inside,
and he's not helping.  I HATE NICK, I HATE HIM!"

	"You don't mean that, Andrew." Lance replied softly.

	"No, Lance, I assure you I do." I said firmly.

	I had no idea, but like I had earlier, Nick was eavesdropping on
our conversation right outside the door. I could tell because after I had
explained my temporary hatred for him, he sobbed quite loudly and stormed
off to his room.  I knew he heard me, and I was somewhat glad he did. In a
twisted way, it made me feel better.

	"I'm sorry to hear that. I thought you of all people would think
differently." He sounded extremely disappointed, that really disturbed me -
I hated disappointing people.

	I realised that I was doing the exact same thing Nick was doing to
me, disappointing people. Nick was disappointing me for his new outlook on
things.  Before they had left, Nick was perfectly fine with everything. Now
that he was back, things were different.

	"Lance?"

	"Yeah?"

	"Will you sleep with me tonight... I-I-I..." I let out a frustrated
sigh, "I just don't want to be alone.

	Lance didn't even open his mouth, he just pulled the comforter from
under me and slid in beside me. I just lay looking at the ceiling for a
while, Lance probably doing the same as well, before I grabbed his arm and
pulled it around me. "Lance..."

	"Yeah?"

	"Thanks." And with that, I fell asleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

	I awoke to the telephone ringing. Glancing at the clock, I noticed
it was just before six in the morning. `Who calls people at such an ungodly
hour?'  I wondered. Leaning over to my night stand, without leaving Lance's
embrace, I grabbed the phone. "Hello?" my voice was clearly that of a
person who wasn't completely awake.

	"Andrew... sorry for waking you." It was Drew. I was wondering why
he was calling so early in the morning for.

	Clearing my throat silently, in fear of waking Lance, "No problem,
what's up?"

	"I'm still on the plane, we should get there about eight. I was
wondering if you guys could come and pick us up." He sounded hopeful.

	"Yeah, sure."

	"K, thanks! Go back to sleep, you got at least an hour left."

	"See you soon." I stifled a yawn.

	"Looking forward to it, I miss you."

	He hung up the phone, leaving me with the dial tone. Something I've
learned to hate was the fact that once I woke up, I was up for at least an
hour.  I lay back down, turning to face Lance. He looked so peaceful, so
happy with a smile gracing the corners of his lips. I found myself
jealous. I wanted to be happy; I wanted to be peaceful.

	I had an hour to kill before I had to wake the others, so I spent a
good twenty minutes just examining Lance - I must've memorised every
feature exposed to my eyes of the guy. Lost in thought thinking about my
life, I began to lackadaisically run my fingers through his hair. I
couldn't believe its softness, almost like silk.

	Lance leaned into the touch, his smile widening. His eyes slowly
fluttered open; a look of pure happiness on his face. Then a sudden
realisation hit him because the happiness flew out the window and his smile
faltered.

	"Oh, come on, I can't be *that* ugly." I joked

	"I thought you were JC for a second, sorry."

	"Oh, don't be sorry. I don't wanna be JC, he's too flamey for me."

	Lance playfully hit my arm, "Hey, don't talk about my boy like
that." It was just too incredibly cute how his accent dominated his speech
in the morning.  I started to giggle thinking about it. "What's so funny?"

	"Nothing... really." I said, smile still prominent on my face.

	"I know that smile, it's not nothing. It's something. What is it?"

	I resigned to the fact that he wouldn't drop it, "It's just cute
how your accent comes out in the morning."

	"I do not have an accent." So typical - denial is the first sign to
truth.

	"Oh, and I bet you'll say that I have more of an accent than you,
eh?" I replied sarcastically.

	"Yup. You know it."

	I rolled my eyes, and jumped out of bed. "We gotta go pick Drew up
at the airport at eight, so you better get ready. We only got like an hour
left."

	"It takes an hour to get to the airport??" he asked with disbelief.

	"No, it takes you like half an hour to get ready, so JC tells me,
and so I have to make sure you're ready in enough time for us to get there
on time."

	"What about Nick?"

	"Don't you worry about him, I'll get him up." I said, with an evil
tone in my voice.

	"Should I be worried?"

	"Just get your ass in gear!" I threw his way before heading to
Nick's room.

	As I stood outside Nick's door, I knocked silently. Without hearing
an answer, I slowly opened the door, afraid I might see something I really
didn't want to. `Wait, what was I thinking? Nick, naked... HELLO!' Walking
into the room I found Nick still asleep, in a foetal position and clutching
a pillow.

	Taking a seat beside him, my heart broke. Here was my best friend -
the one who's done so much for me countless times before - lying here
alone. I leaned in gently, placing my hand on Nick's cheek and tracing his
left eyebrow with my finger. There was a thin layer of sweat on his face,
`Bad dreams? Is he sick?' A million thoughts jumped around my head.

	Leaning further forward, I placed a kiss on Nick's forehead which
elicited movement from the living dead. Nick loved to sleep; one of the
many things we had in common. Once his eyes opened, I wished they
hadn't. Sorrow and agony had seized his very being, right to the soul, and
it was clearly evident through the windows looking back at me. Tears formed
in my eyes, Nick looked like shit and it was all my fault. "Nick, I'm
sorry... please forgive me."

	A smile formed on his face, and the sorrow lifted somewhat from his
eyes.  He didn't say a word, confusing me. Suddenly, he grabbed the back of
my neck, pulled me down and planted a big wet one on my lips. My eyes shot
open wide with surprise.

	"You're forgiven cuntlips! Now, what makes you wake me up so
early... wait...  why are *you* up so early."

	"Cuntlips? Is that what you think of me?" I feigned hurt. "Well
asslicker, if you must know, we gotta go pick up the newlyweds at the
airport in say...  45 minutes. Get your ass outta bed and shower cause boy,
you reek!" Nick smiled.  Things seemed like they were normal - `Damn, I
hope so!'

	An hour later, we were in the airport waiting. It had been over
fifteen minutes since Drew's plane had landed, yet they couldn't
disembark. Somehow word had leaked that Drew was coming into town and the
airport was packed with screaming adolescents. I was shocked, all these
people were here just because of *my* Drew. My Drew, that I now had to
share.

	Lance and Nick had come incognito. Both were dressed in baggy
clothes, caps and sunglasses. I never understood why celebrities would
attempt to conceal their identities with such unoriginal disguises, surely
they'd be recognised.  Apparently though, they were disguised well enough -
not a single person bothered them.

	I was nervous. Nervous to see my own boyfriend, it just didn't make
sense.  I mentally chastised myself for my foolishness but couldn't help
myself. I continued pacing back and forth in front of the bench the two
fools had slouched in. "Calm down man, there ain't no reason to be
nervous." Lance tried his best to soothe my nerves.

	"Easy for you to say, you're not in my position Scoop." I replied.

	"Great, the news is here too. That's all we need..." Nick trailed
off as the teens began to scream. The sound was deafening; the airport was
definitely not designed to deal with such acoustics. Security guards rushed
about trying to secure a path for Drew and Lea.

	I inhaled deeply; this was it. Drew walked through the arrival
doors, arm in arm with Lea. Smiles were prominent on both of their faces,
they truly seemed happy. I wasn't - I was crushed. Nick urged me forward,
as much as I tried not to, his hands reassuringly squeezing my shoulders
every time I tried to stop.  Lance walked beside me, unsure of what to
expect though probably bracing for the worst.

	Locking eyes with Drew, he smiled, melting me completely. How could
I be mad with him? He was my reason for living; I loved him. Just as I
thought that everything would be fine, something happened. Within seconds,
Drew was able to rip my heart out, and stomp on it repeatedly - he leaned
over and kissed Lea on the lips.

	My eyes shot open, and my jaw dropped. Lance, noticing this began
to run off a list of explanations. "It's just for publicity D, it's
nothing."

	"FUCK THAT!" I screamed, so loud the screaming fans had silenced
momentarily. I ripped myself from Nick's grasp, running for the door. One
thought running in my mind: run!

	Jumping into my van, I noticed Nick, Lance, Drew and Lea were in
pursuit.  I couldn't be stopped, I was going to leave him, and leave him
now! Quickly starting the van up, I ripped out of the parking lot without
looking back.

	I peeled down the parkway, paying no heed to the speed limit or any
other signs for that matter. I was there physically, but mentally I was
somewhere else. As I came upon an intersection, I failed to notice the
light was red.  Hearing a car's horn followed by a screeching sound, I
turned my head to the sound. `What the...' BLACKNESS.

TBC...