Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2000 19:54:58 PST
From: Benj Thall <benj_thall@hotmail.com>
Subject: A Thorned Rose: Part 4

A Thorned Rose

Disclaimer: Hello everybody! Sorry I've been out of commission for so long
but I wanted to enjoy my hols to the fullest without any interruptions
whatsoever (ended up working, though! Blech!). Anyway, I'll be a little more
active for the next few months until my semester ends (around June to July).
In the meantime, enjoy this story that I have finally finished. Any comments
can be directed to Benj_thall@hotmail.com. To the people out there who have
inspired me, u know who u are (especially, u Gene!!). That's it. Ciao!!

Chapter 4: The Last Night
	I had to go see Leo, to talk with him before I even considered taking up
that job. It wouldn't be easy -- Leo had been like a father to me, always
giving me advice as he saw it, always trying, at first, to match me up with
Danny until he found out I wasn't interested. Then, he swore to uphold my
virtue by watching Danny closely. I wouldn't have worried. Danny and I were
more like brothers than anything though it was different in this case. I
didn't feel like I had to always look after him as I did with my own
brothers. Instead, we looked after one another. I helped Danny patch up with
Edmund when they got into a fight; Danny helped me with the twins during
that difficult stage by giving me tips -- most of which came from Edmund.
	After fixing dinner for the kids and eating it with them, I hurried down to
the "Wharf", hoping to catch Leo. As I glanced around, he was nowhere to be
found but Danny saw me and waved to me. I waved back and strolled up to the
bar where Danny was drying glasses.
	"So, what will it be, beautiful?" he asked, grinning, his hand clutching
mine. I pulled away, giving him a mock sour look before grinning and
answering, "The usual, Coke."
	He grimaced, pulled a can of Coke out and handed it to me. I opened it and
just guzzled it down. When I was done, I looked at Danny who seemed to be
studying me. "Danny, where's Leo?"
	"Hmmm? Fa? He popped out to check on the place in the city. He'll be back
pretty soon. Why?"
	I hesitated. Should I or shouldn't I? Danny was a friend but it didn't
really concern him? I was about to answer when a hand slapped by shoulder
and a voice dryly remarked, "Now I know why my lover of three years suddenly
starts coming in early for his shift."
	I turned around, a grin for my face as I hugged the man behind me. He was
tall and well-built, though still slender; his hair was a bright auburn,
lighter than the darkish red-gold that most people had; pale green eyes
regarded me with laughing indifference, somehow managing to ogle Danny while
still keeping an eye on me. Edmund Hurlington took the seat next to me, his
eyes now watching Danny in fascination and I finally realized why. I finally
noticed what Danny was wearing. He was clad only in denim overalls and
nothing else, allowing for a good glimpse of his chest when he turned
sideways and an even better view of his shoulder and his upper back which
were totally bare except for the straps of the overalls. Evidently, Danny
had forgotten to put on a shirt underneath as he had planned to b'cos he
blushed as he finally noticed what he was wearing himself.
	"How did you manage to forget to put on a shirt?" I asked him, fascinated
and very curious. He just blushed again as Edmund's lazy gaze wandered over
every inch of his bare body. Edmund took it upon himself to answer the
question and drawled, "Let's just say that I was very distracting as he
tried to dress. I wasn't as effective a distraction as I had thought but,
fortunately, for both of us, I was effective enough to obtain the view we
have today." His grin was enough to make me blush. I was very clear on what
he was saying and Danny saw that as well. "Edmund!" Danny warned.
	I knew I was blushing but remembered what I was going to ask Danny. "Um,
Danny? About that thing I was gonna ask you about? Well, I was offered this
job and I was going to ask Leo about it."
	Danny had an incredulous look on his face. "What? You mean, you're going to
ditch us after all we've done for you? Why, you ungrateful little -"
	Thankfully, Edmund saved me. "That's enough, Danny. Allie has more than
repaid you and your father for giving him that job. Look how much business
you've been getting thanks to Allie." He glanced at me. "Besides, Allie
isn't one to jump at every golden chance that he gets. It's probably
something that I would have taken instantly without even thinking about it.
Only Allie would try to consider something like that."
	Danny looked as if he was about to argue but he sighed. "Edmund, you're
right. Sorry, Allie. No offense. Go on."
	"None taken." I bit my lip. "Um, you know about N'Sync being here
yesterday, don't you?" Danny nodded but Edmund burst in. "They were here?
Damn, that is so cool! Did you see JC? He is so hot!" Danny gave him THAT
look that couples sometimes give one another and dryly, I replied,
half-irked, "I'll tell him you said that."
	"You know him?" was the incredulous reply. I nodded. "Well, JC offered me a
job as another member of the group and that's why I wanted to talk to Leo."
	"You're serious, Allie?" Danny asked, sounding shocked. I nodded again.
	"For God's sake, Allie, take it! This is a one-in-a-lifetime chance! You'd
be a fool if you didn't!" Edmund yelled.
	"Yeah, but, what about here, and Leo, and the Sterlings, and -"
	"Take it, Allie." I spun around. Nick and the others were looking at me
with a look of joy on their faces. "You lucky bastard! Take it or we'll
never talk to you ever again!" Shauna told me with a grin on her face. "But,
now you don't have a lead singer," I protested. "Pish posh! We can get
somebody," Leigh muttered, his blond hair wild as usual. "I know a few
people from the church choir who could use a job," Lynn suggested. "You see,
Allie? We'll be OK," Casey reassured me. "All you need now is Leo's
approval."
	"Which he has," Leo announced. I turned to look at him. He was beaming at
me, so happy for me that I almost cried. "Don't cry, my boy. I knew from the
day I hired you that you were destined for greater things. Now, just take
the job but don't forget us. And come see us sometime when you're free or
we'll have to visit you instead. Now, come here," Leo bawled. I walked into
his arms as he gave me a bear hug, almost crying already, so happy that my
friends here were so understanding. "Thank you guys, thank you!" I murmured
to all of them.
	"You're officially off-duty tomorrow but I still hope you'll come and
perform until you really sign on with the group. And, you still have one
more night to do today." Leo looked at me proudly and I noticed Daniel, and
Edmund, standing together, hand in hand, smiling happily. "Anything, Leo," I
managed to reply and the next thing I knew, I was being herded on to the
stage.
	We joked around for a while since the place was still a bit empty. I
thought they looked sad and I wondered if I could get a scout to check them
out. I mean, JC must know all these types of people, wouldn't he? So, if he
did, I could always ask him for that favor. After all, they were quite good.
Maybe . . .
	Somehow, that aura of the last night seemed to surround us and I caught
myself looking at the "Wharf". Laura and the others were told about my
offer, and they hugged me, half-laughing that I got such a break, and
half-crying 'cos they were sad to see me go. Laura told me, "You're just the
right person for the nicest thing to happen to! I'm gonna miss you!" The
last hour before the music started was spent with waitresses talking with
one another as customers looked on in surprise. They weren't neglected, of
course, with Laura keeping a sharp eye out on everybody, but we were just
talking about the good times that we had together. How would I have known
that I would someday leave this place and move on? It was just so strange.
The bar was neglected as Danny kept on toasting me, making up the most
ridiculous toasts which had everyone laughing away, giggling like school
children.
	And then, the place was finally full. It was packed and I found myself
wondering if they had heard the news about my leaving. When Nick announced
me amidst thunderous applause, I felt as nervous as I had been when I had
first sung upon this stage. I had to take a drink of water from this glass
that they left for me by the stage. It all seemed like such a long time ago.
As I stepped into the limelight, the crowd hushed. I moved my mouth closer
to the mike, thinking on what to say, what to tell. "Ladies and gentlemen, I
have some sad news today. Tonight is my last official night singing for all
of you and after this, I may have moved on to another job. I will still be
here tomorrow but I won't be sure whether I will even be here after that. I
just want to say thank you to all the regular patrons who come to hear me
sing and I hope that you will continue to stay as I will be replaced by
another singer." There was a moment of silence followed by roars of
disapproval and shouts of "Stay! Stay! Stay!". I lifted my hands up for
silence with which they complied, falling silent. "It is God's will, I
think, and I only hope that you can enjoy the days to come without me. It is
my last night, ladies and gentlemen, and I shall try to make this the most
wonderful night of your lives."
	I was almost about to weep, something which Nick saw and he gestured to the
others to strike up some music. "The first song, ladies and gentlemen, is a
song that was converted from another language to English and then sung by
Celine Dion. It's called 'Let's Talk About Love' and I hope that when I sing
it, you will think about all the problems which we face today due to
prejudice and bigotry. Listen to the lyrics and you will hear the message."
	I took a deep breath. That song had been suggested by Nick as I had no idea
who Celine Dion was. In fact, most of the songs were relatively new songs
that Nick had taken a liking to and trained me to sing. "Everywhere I go . .
. All the places that I've been . . . Every smile's a new horizon . . . on a
land I've never seen . . . There are people around the world . . . Different
faces, different names . . . But there's one true emotion  . . .That reminds
me we're the same . . . Let's talk about love . . ."
	"From the laughter of a child . . . to the tears of a grown man . . .
There's a thread that runs right through us . . . And helps us understand .
. . As subtle as a breeze . . . That fans a flicker to a flame . . . From
the very first sweet melody . . . To the very last refrain . . . Let's talk
about love . . . Let's talk about love . . . Let's talk about life . . .
Let's talk about trust . . ."
	"It's the king of all who live . . . and the queen of all good hearts . . .
it's the ace you may keep up your sleeve . . . 'till the name is all but
lost . . . as deep as any sea . . . with the rage of any storm . . . but as
gentle as the falling leaf . . . on any autumn morn . . ."
	"Let's talk about love . . . Let's talk about love . . . Let's talk about
life . . . Let's talk about trust . . . Let's talk about love . . ."
	The words just came, flowing through me, and I gave it everything I had. I
sang and sang, finishing that song, and starting on another, going through
every new song that I had sung before. I was in a daze, thinking only that
this was my last night in the "Wharf", a daze from which I awoke only when
the Beatles song was about to be sung.
	"This is one of my personal favorites, done by the Beatles. It's been
changed a little to reflect another point of view and I hope you like it.
'Here, There, Everywhere' is the next song." Nick had told me that Celine
Dion had sang this one, too. She must be some singer.
	"To lead a better life .... I need my love to be here ...." was the bridge,
with the soft strings on Casey's guitar. Only later did the whole band join
in.
	"Here .... Making each day of the year .... Changing my life with a wave of
his hand .... Nobody can .... Deny that there's something there ...."
	"There .... Running my hands through his hair .... Both of us thinking how
good it could be .... Someone is speaking .... But he doesn't know she's
there .... I want him everywhere .... And if he's beside me, I know I need
never care .... But to love him is to need him everywhere .... Knowing that
love is to share .... Each one believing that love never dies ... Watching
his eyes .... And hoping I'm always there .... I'll be there ...."
	It was funny but when I was singing that song, I found myself thinking of
JC and how much I wished he could be here to listen to me sing this song, to
sing it to him. It was a confusing thought -- one that almost caused me to
stumble through the song. Fortunately, I managed to recover in time, though,
I still felt confused. What was wrong with me? Why do I get so confused when
I think of JC? That nervousness around him intensified as I thought of him
smiling to me. I shoved the thoughts into the back of my mind and
concentrated simply on singing my heart out.
	"I want him everywhere .... And if he's beside me, I know I need never care
.... But to love him is to need him everywhere .... Knowing that love is to
share .... Each one believing that love never dies .... Watching his eyes
.... And hoping I'm always there .... I will be there .... And everywhere
.... Here, there and everywhere ...."
	I bowed my head as the applause seemed to sweep over me, almost a wave that
threatened to overwhelm me, to drown me. I staggered off the stage, pleading
for a short break. My head spun, my throat ached -- I really needed a drink.
I just sat on a chair, backstage, sipping my drink, just thinking. About a
lot of things, really. About life, in general. That was one thing about me
which I always wondered about. No matter where I am, I tend to think a lot.
Sometimes, maybe a bit too much. Basically, I just ponder about everything
that affects my life. Like, sometimes, I wondered how life would be if Mom
and Dad were still here. What would I be doing? Would life have been easier?
Probably. Or, what if I hadn't survived that crash? Then, it would have been
up to the twins to take on my job, my responsibilities. A lot of things
passed through my mind but it all boiled down to one conclusion: it's
destiny, maybe. One twist in the tale changes countless lives forever.
	I took about a 15 minute break and then I was back on stage, singing the
last few songs of the evening. And then, finally, close to two in the
morning, the grand finale.
	"Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like it's the last song for me to sing on
my last night. Thank you for making my days here just so wonderful to me.
The next song -- 'Leaving on a Jet Plane" -- is quite appropriate for the
ending. I just want to say that not all endings are bad. As the immortal
Bard once said, Parting is all we know of Heaven and all we need of Hell.
Thank you and good-bye." I looked around, just taking in this view, trying
to memorize this last scene as people looked up, some sleepy, some still
awake, other somewhere in between. I saw a sleeping child on his father's
lap; I saw a man hold a woman's hand in his; I saw two men kiss behind the
bar; and I smiled.
	"All my bags are packed ... and I'm ready to go ... I'm standing here
outside your door ... I'd hate to wake you up to say good-bye ... The dawn
is breaking ... it's early morn ... The taxi's waiting ... he's blowing his
horn ... already I'm so lonesome, I could die ...."
	"So, kiss me and smile for me .... Tell me that you'll wait for me ....
Hold me like you'll never let me go .... 'Cos I'm a leaving on a jet plane
.... Don't know when I'll be back again ... Oh, babe, I hate to go ..."
	"There's so many times I've let you down ... so many times I've played
around ... but, I tell you now that they don't mean a thing ... every place
I go, I think of you ... every song I sing, I sing for you ... when I come
back, I'll wear your wedding ring ..."
	"So, kiss me and smile for me .... Tell me that you'll wait for me ....
Hold me like you'll never let me go .... 'Cos I'm a leaving on a jet plane
.... Don't know when I'll be back again ... Oh, babe, I hate to go ..."
	Now the time has come to leave you ... one more time I'll let me kiss you
... so close your eyes and I'll be on my way ... dream about the days to
come ... when I won't have to be alone ... about the times that I won't have
to say ..."
	"So, kiss me and smile for me .... Tell me that you'll wait for me ....
Hold me like you'll never let me go .... 'Cos I'm a leaving on a jet plane
.... Don't know when I'll be back again ... Oh, babe, I hate to go ..."
	I let the words linger in the air, then bowed and stepped off. The applause
was simply amazing and I had never felt any happier in my life. What a
feeling! I kissed all the guys and the gals, too, then Leo, Danny and
Edmund. We must have spent half an hour just saying our good-byes, wishing
each other luck and efforts to keep in contact with one another. As I walked
up the street, I began crying ever so quietly. I was afraid, I had to admit,
of the future, of what life would bring to us, of JC, of everything. I
looked up into the sky. "Stay with me, God, please! I need You," I whispered
to Him.
	When I reached home, everyone was asleep. As I opened the door to my room,
I found a note tacked to the door. It seemed that JC had called and he had
asked me to call back. Along with it was a number. I glanced at the clock.
It was two in the morning. I wondered if he was still awake. I decided to
chance it and call him. I dialed the number and waited.
	It rang about twice and then, sleepily, a voice murmured, "Hello?"
	"JC," I said quickly, "Sorry to disturb but I just got your message. Is
there anything important you want to talk to me about?"
	Sounding more awake, JC laughed softly and replied, "Not really. I just
called to talk with you. Where have you been? On a date?"
	"No. Just finished work at the "Wharf" and everything. OH, I just finished
my last night there. Starting tomorrow, I'm really not working with them
anymore." I curled up into the couch. I was getting sleepy.
	"Does that mean you're taking my offer?" He sounded excited.
	"Yeah, most probably but I still got a problem with my brothers. I want
them along or I won't be satisfied on how they're doing."
	"I think we could arrange that. You sound sleepy. You wanna go?"
	"Not really. You know, I had a dream about you last night," I told him
sleepily.
	There was silence for a moment. "Really? How was it like?"
	"Well, Justin was in it, too, and so was Jer. We were in a park and Jer was
on the swing while Justin was giving him a push. The two of us were
swimming."
	"Really? With suits on?" JC asked teasingly.
	I yawned. "No suits at all."
	"Interesting."
	"Whatever."
	"Get some sleep, Allie."
	"Um, OK. You, too."
	"Are you gonna dream about me again?" He was teasing again.
	"Maybe."
	"Bye, Allie."
	"Bye, Josh."
	I hung up before he could say anything else, giggling to myself.
	As I got into bed after washing up, I lay awake for a moment, recalling how
JC had sounded when I told him about the dream. He sounded just a bit
strange -- he wasn't upset or anything, or embarrassed, but something else.
I smiled as I thought of the future.

	JC put down the phone, smiling fondly. He lay back, arms folded under his
head, staring at the ceiling. Josh wasn't a name that he really enjoyed
being called but when Allie had mouthed that word, that name hadn't sounded
so bad. It had felt good when Allie had said it -- it felt more personal.
The fact of that change nagged at him until sleep finally claimed him, still
smiling.