Date: Thu, 10 Feb 2000 23:01:21 -0800 (PST)
From: Wesley Cook <wesleym2@yahoo.com>
Subject: To Love NSYNC 5

Author's note: Hi all this is Wes, first all I want to thank these people
personally for sending me e-mail responses about this series: Tony author
of When You Say Nothing At All, Melissa Turner, Rod Horsman,
LanceFan2001@aol.com, Will Mandeville, quin_le_har, n.j.scott,
NiteBoi78@aol.com,yuli author of Busta, Rune Therin, and
obfuscate@kaltelnet.net. Thanks guys for your support. I also want to thank
Dennis author of Christmas Wish. Now there are many very good stories on
the archive. I can't list them all because if I did I would be up all
night. Also readers response is important to us authors, it lets us know if
we are doing something right or wrong. Just a small note saying I like your
story or I hate your story is better than nothing. And if you have any
suggestions then let us know. In this story who else do you guys want to
see come out.  What do you guys think I should do with Scott? Let me
know. I'll go now so on with the story... But first.

Legal Stuff: If you are underage in your state or country to read sexually
explicit material then you should not be here or if you have a problem with
homosexuality then leaves as well. Also this is a pure fiction story, it is
not to imply that any of the guys from NSYNC are bi or gay. (But we all can
dream can't we). Also give NSYNC your support through their tough
time. They are a good bunch of guys and they need the support of their
fans.  Well I'll shut up now so you can read the story.

Now contact info. I am on ICQ and my number is 63697324 and you can e-mail
me at wesleym2@yahoo.com.


There are so many things a person wants to say but can't due to the fact
they just don't know the words. So to say the words they need to say they
find a song that says what he/she needs. But right now I could find a song
to help me. I felt like I had betrayed Justin's love. How could he still
love me? I hurt the one true love I have ever had. But he wasn't angry with
me he was angry at him. Justin just tells me that it was Scott who forced
himself on me and I did nothing wrong. If it wasn't my fault then why do I
feel so dirty? Why? I was brought out of my thoughts as a flash of light
and some yelling and scuffling started. Both me and Justin got up and saw
Scott there in our room.

"Scott what the fuck are you doing up here and how did you get up here?" I
yelled. Kevin and A.J. were holding him against the wall while Brian was
trying to wrestle the camera from his hands.

"Oh I'm just getting even Wes." He said as he broke free of the guys and
bolted out the door and on his way to the elevators. We got out the door
and saw Scott being held at gun point by a security guard. I knew I needed
to thank who ever called them. Brian walked up to him and took the camera
and any film he had and anything else he may have had that could cause
problems for the groups.

"What do you want me to do Mr. Cook?"

"Escort him out of the building and make sure he is not allowed back in at
anytime for any reason" The guard nodded and did as he was told. I turned
and everyone was out in the halls looking at what had just happened. I saw
Justin at my door with a look of worry on his face. Some where there was a
cd playing. I listened to it and the song Back To Your Heart came on.

It's not that I can't live with out you
It's just that I don't even want to try
Every night I dream about you
Ever since the day we said goodbye
If I wasn't such a fool
Right now I'd be holding you
There's nothin' that I wouldn't do
Baby if I only knew

I had fresh tears running down my face. Justin say that and came to
me. When he reached me I jerk away and backed up. But he just grabbed me.

"Wes there is nothing you did wrong if any one did anything wrong it was
me." Justin looked into my eyes and began to sing the chorus.

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find my way back to your heart.

As he sang I just cried. He held me so tight. I didn't care I didn't want
to lose him. The BSB guys began to sing with the music and with Justin.

I don't know it got so crazy
But I'll do anything to set things right
`Cause your love is so amazing
Baby you're the best thing in my life
Let me prove my love is real
And made you feel the way I feel
I promise I would give the world
If only you would tell me Wes

At that moment I lost all strength in my legs and both of us went to the
ground. We were both crying but he was still singing. I could feel his hurt
his pain. It was equal to mine because of what Scott did to me. I knew now
that what Justin felt was that he was fault since he didn't protect me like
he should. I looked around and everybody had tears in their eyes.

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find my way back to your heart.

Justin just held me and I held him. We were on our knees in the middle of
the hall. I placed my finger on Justin's lips and I sang the rest of the
song to him.

Give me one more chance, to give my love to you
`Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do, tell me

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find my way back to your heart.

I turn back time
To make you mine
And find a way back to your heart
I beg and plead
Fall on my knees
To find a way back to your heart

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find my way back to your heart.

As the song ended I leaned in and gave Justin a kiss. We both got to our
feet and all the guys rushed us and gave us a very big group hug. It was
then I knew who my real family was and who my real friends are. We just
stood there holding each other when some one's stomach started to growl. We
all laughed at that. But poor Lance turned real red.

"Lance it's ok man your hungry, I think we all are." I said to him and he
just smiled.  "Okay where do you guys want to go?" That was a big mistake
because every one wanted to go some where different. I giggled a little
bit. Just then they all looked at me. Oh boy what did I do now. I turned
and saw no one there. Then Kevin spoke up.

"Wes were would you like to go?" It was then I remembered a place I had
been in many times back home and wanted to go again. I ran to my room and
looked for the restaurant.

"Yes, there is one here."

"There is what here?" I heard A.J. say.

"An Ole Feed House, I used to go there once a week back home." I looked
around and only Kevin, Brian and Lance knew what I was talking about. This
was gonna be good.  "Lance would you call them and get a private room
reserved for us." He nodded and went to his room to make the call. I looked
at A.J. and saw what he was wearing. He wore a see through mess shirt,
yellow leather pants, and all of his chains and earrings and rings.
"A.J. do you have anything like what I have on?"

"Why?"

"Well because you can't go like that. This place is like a country place
and regular clothes are needed." He looked down at his appearance and back
at me. He then smiled and headed off to his room to change.

**Supper**

The Ole Feed House was not very busy. The room we had reserved had windows
but the windows had shades over them and no one could see in or out. I
liked that. I chose a seat off to the corner where you couldn't see me
unless you walked into the room Justin sat next to me and then the rest of
the guys did the same.

"Okay this is how this works out in the main room there is a bar type set
up with different foods. At the beginning of the line is the plates and
stuff. You get a plate and what not and then go down the line getting what
you want. Also you can go back as many times as you want.  If you have any
more questions then ask if not lets eat." I said as I got up with Justin
following me. I grabbed a tray and a plate some silver ware and headed down
the line. I got some chicken, fries, shrimp(fried), corn on the cob and
some other stuff. The guys just got what they wanted. When I turned I saw
several people looking in our direction with surprise on their faces. I
knew they were shocked to see both NSYNC and BSB here. I headed for the
room and sat my food down. I then waited on Justin who was still filling
his plate. When he returned I gave him a kiss.

"What you want to drink babe?" I asked.

"How about Dr. Pepper?" I smiled at his remark. I turned and went to go get
our drinks.  While I was there the manager came to me.

"Excuse me but could you get the guys to sign this for me for the
restaurant?" It was a poster of sorts it had a picture of the Ole Feed
House and some writing about it. I took it and replied.

"Sure, I'll get this back to you." He smiled and went back to work. I took
the poster and the two drinks to room. "Okay, the manager asked if you guys
would sign this." I Handed it to Kevin and he signed it. He then passed it
down. I waited till everyone signed it and then took it back to him. I
returned and still no one had touched their food. "Why aren't you eating?"
I giggled.

"Well we have to say grace." Brian said and I felt stupid.

"I'm sorry." I was now depressed but wouldn't let it show. I went and sat
down and Brian said grace. When he was done everyone said amen. We all
began to eat. I wasn't very hungry anymore. But I ate. Nick, Brian and
Justin went for seconds and thirds which was fine. I was done. I waited for
them to finish. Justin noticed I was a little pulled back. I could see it
in his eyes. I just smiled and the looked away. Kevin noticed this to. He
also knew what caused it. Brian's remark. I looked around the room and saw
every one was done.

"Okay lets go." I said. I pulled out the credit card I had of the company
and paid for the supper. It was a little over a hundred dollars. The limo
was waiting on us and we got in and headed for the hotel. The whole time I
looked out the window ignoring everybody.  The limo puled behind the hotel
and we got out. In a short time we were all heading to our rooms. I heard
Kevin ask Brian to come to his room. I pulled out the keycard for our door
and opened the door. Justin shut the door. I took off my coat and headed
for the balcony. I went to the ledge and rested my hands on it. I looked
out over the city and shed a tear. The stars were clear and bright. I felt
a pair of arms hug my waist. I turned my head and saw Justin. I smiled and
returned to the view I was watching. From inside I heard the cd player
playing. I heard the intro to I Need You Tonight playing. And I let some
more tears fall down my cheeks.

Open up your heart to me
And say what's on your mind, oh yes
I know that we have been through so much pain
But I still need you in my life this time, and...

Justin held me in his arms. I was so close to him. I knew why he picked
this song. He wanted to be in my heart and know what has hurt me so
much. But I was afraid to open up. And that hurt me because I couldn't give
him what he needs.

I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you tonight

I figured out what to say to you
But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do
And I know in time that you will understand
That what we have is so right this time, and...

I need you tonight
I need you right now
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right

All those endless times we tried to make it last forever more
And baby I know
I need you
I know deep within my heart
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
I really need you, oh

I need you tonight - I need you, oh I need you baby
I need you right now - It's gotta be this, it's gotta be this
I know deep within my heart
No, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or it's right
All I know is baby
I really need you tonight

I listened to the song and as it ended I turned to Justin.

"I love you Justin." Was all I said. He pulled me close to him and held me
tight. I moved and kissed him. I kissed him with all of my being. My heart
was fluttering with love.  Justin felt it because we were in our own little
world. I felt Justin pick me up and carry me to the bed. He was still
kissing me. He laid me down on the bed and broke the kiss.  He then climbed
up on me and kissed me again. I felt him gently unbutton my shirt. He got
down to me pants where my shirt was tucked in and pulled it out. He then
finished unbuttoning my shirt. I sat up and let him push it off of me.

"I love you Wes, forever." I pulled him into an embrace and then into a
kiss. I was pulling on his jersey and he sat up and pulled it off. He then
pulled off his wife beater. He leaned down and kissed me. I could feel his
warm skin against mine. I rubbed his back. I could feel his muscles in his
chest and back. Just went from my lips to my neck. Lightly kissing it. I
gasp as he did. I was so hot for him. I reached down and undid his pants. I
pushed them off along with his boxers. Justin let up long enough to remove
mine. We were so turned on at that moment. Our love was glowing around
us. He pulled back the covers and we under them. He was still on top of
me. He slowly began to dry hump me.  We were still kissing passionately as
he did his movements. After a few moment both of us were covered in
sweat. The heat of our bodies and the friction between them sent us to a
new high. There were no words spoken. Until now.

"Just make love to me." I asked. He looked at me and saw that I was
ready. I spread my legs and gave him the okay to go on. He positioned
himself and began to enter me. There was no pain just absolute love and
passion. Once he was all the way in he began to pull out then push in. He
did this very slowly. He began to kiss my neck. I threw my head back with
pleasure I didn't want to moan for fear of others hearing it. Slowly I
began to feel a movement deep in my groin. I knew I was getting close.

"Just...I'm close..." he began to kiss my on the mouth. Just then we both
began to shake.  Our lips lock and we came. I came so hard I thought I was
gonna pass out. We broke the kiss and he fell on me.

"I love you Wes."

"I love you too Just. How about we get a shower and then get some sleep?"

"That sounds good to me." So we got up. Justin got behind me and held me
around the waist. I admit it was a little difficult but I didn't care. Once
we were in the bath room I turned the water on and let it get just
right. Then we got in and we washed each other.  When we were clean we got
out and dried off and went to bed nude. We both were tired and so we went
to sleep very quickly.

**Wes' Dream**

I saw my self walking along the beach with Justin. We were very happy. But
something wasn't right. Off in the distance there was a dark cloud coming
our way. As it got closer I saw that it followed a man. It was Scott. What
is doing here. But then the man changed into that of the man who shot
me. He was pointing the gun at Justin. I pulled Justin behind me and I
heard him fire.

**End of Dream**

"Ahhhhhh!!!!" I said as I shot straight up in bed. I looked over and Justin
wasn't there. I looked around in the darkness. I couldn't see him. Where
was he. I was scared. I got up and found a robe and put it on. "Justin" I
whispered. I didn't get a response. I walked over to the balcony and there
he was fast asleep. I smiled and got down beside him. I leaned over and
kissed him. I moved back and his eye fluttered open.

"Babe, what are you doing up?"

"I had a night mare Just. And when I woke up you weren't there." I said as
a tear fell.

"I'm sorry babe. How about you and me sit here and watch the sun rise?"

"I'd love to." I sat down in his lap at his insistence. We watched as the
sun slowly and gracefully climbed into the dark foreboding sky. The horizon
changed from a black to a lavender then to an orange and then blue. It was
like seeing a new life emerging from death. We heard the birds beginning to
sing and the traffic below was getting more busy.  I turned and kissed
Justin as the sun fully appeared in the sky. I got up and led him into the
room and we laid back down. Holding each other. Today was going to be the
most hectic day this week since the concert began at 7:00pm. And at 5:00
there was meet 'n greet. And at 12:00 p.m. was sound check and final
rehearsals. But for the moment we were at peace laying in each others
arms. That is until the freaking phone rang.

"Hello"

"This is you 7:00 wake up call thank you." The computer said.

"Ugh... I guess we had better get up." I said as I put the phone down. I
turned over and kissed Justin and got up to get dressed before the guys got
here for breakfast. And just as I finished putting my shoes on there was a
knock at the door.

"Yes..."

"Room service..."

"Okay... I'll be there in a moment." I got up and walked to the door and
looked out and sure enough there was the room service. There were several
trays and carts. Each had different foods and drinks on them. I opened the
door and they brought them in. I gave them a tip and they left. Then as
soon as Justin finished dressing there was another knock at the door. I
went to the door and I saw the guys waiting out there.

"Come on in guys."

"Wow Curly's up that is amazing." J.C. said.

"Well truth be told he was first up this morning. I woke up and then we
watched the sun rise." I said leaving out the nightmare. I looked over at
Brian and he seemed not as happy for some reason. In fact it seemed that he
had some tears in his eyes. I sat my plate down and walked over to
him. "Brian can we talk in your room alone please." He nodded yes and got
up leaving his food. I gave a look to every one that we were not to be
bother or else except to Justin. I gave him a loving look. As we walked
down to Brian's room. Both of us were quiet. Once inside his room I began
to speak. "Brian what's wrong buddy?"

"I'm sorry about yesterday Wes, I was out of line."

"Brian it's over and done yes it hurt the way you snapped at me but that
wasn't what made me get quiet. Brian I have a lot of things happen to me in
my life that isn't very nice, in fact those things almost cost me my life
several times." I looked up into his eyes and saw fear and curiosity.

"What happened?"

"I... Well when I was about to turn five years old I was raped by my
half-brother." I let a few tears fall. It was then I heard a knock at the
door. I heard Justin's voice out there.  Brian got up and opened the door
and stepped out to speak with him.

"Justin I want you to know that I haven't done anything to him he began
telling me about his past. He then started to cry, I think you should hear
what he said first and then lets hear the rest of it." Justin nodded and
Brian told him what I told Brian. Justin gasped and ran into the room and
held me. Brian came in and just sat there. I calmed down and began to speak
again.

"Well after that mom and dad just kind of let me be. Not really caring for
me to closely.  Then when I was about 10 my dad began to drink and beat me
for no reason." I looked at them and they had tears streaming down their
faces. I pushed on. "Then I lost my gramps to cancer. That just made dad
more violent. I eventually moved out but that was after I was raped a
second time. I never had anal penetration just forced to do things and all.
That's when I moved out cause dad found out I was gay and had been
raped. He didn't believe me about the rape because I was gay. I was only 16
when he kicked me out. I went and lived with an aunt and when old enough I
left the state. That's when I met Scott..." I stopped there I had no will
power to go further. Justin held onto me tighter.

"Wes no one will ever hurt you again. I promise you never again." Justin
said. I leaned down and kissed him. Brian got up and hugged me. We all got
up and straightened our faces and left the room to finish breakfast and
leave for the stadium.

**The Concert**

There were several people there for the meet `n greet. And some were
contest winners.  Of course Scott was there. The guys acted cool with him,
I stayed away from him.  Everything was ready, the opening act was getting
ready to go on stage and the guys were getting ready for their
performance. I was excited. This was one of the biggest concerts ever. I
had let Justin alone so he could get ready with make up and wardrobe. But
when he was done I gave him a small kiss on his lips. NSYNC played hacky
sack. Then the prayer. And then the stage manager called five minute
warning for the BSB. They would go on first and then NSYNC would come up
through the floor. The concert lasted about an hour and a half. The last
song that was done was NSYNC and BSB singing God Must Have Spent.

"We would like to dedicate this last song to a very special person in our
lives. You know who you are. This is for you." Justin said as the music
began. That song with both groups singing it really touched me it was sooo
beautiful. When the concert was over we had to get on the busses and head
for our next destination. Which was Los Angeles. We weren't due there for a
couple of days so we decided to take the bus. The guys all were tired. I
was already on the bus when they got there. I waited till I saw Justin and
when he got on the bus I grabbed him and pulled him to the back to kiss
him.

"Thanks babe, for that dedication."

"Well he did spend a little more time on you babe." I kissed him again. We
walked back up to the front and they had Mariah Carey singing on the cd
player Thank God I Found You.

Thank God I Found You

I would give up everything
Before I separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I've finally found the honest truth
I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from my heart
It would not subside
I felt like dying
Until you saved my life

Chorus:
Thank god I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish
And every dream
Somehow became reality
With you
But the sunlight completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you

I will give you everything
There's nothing in this world I want but you
To insure your happiness
I'll cherish every part of you
Cause without you beside me
I can't survive
If you're keeping me warm each and every night
I'll be alright
Cause I need you in my life

Thank god I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish
And every dream
Somehow became reality
With you
But the sunlight completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you

See I was
So desolate before you came to me
Looking back
I guess it insures that we were destined to shine
Over the rain
To appreciate
The gift of what we have
And I'd go through it all over again
To be able to feel this way

Thank god I found you
I was lost without you
My every wish
And every dream
Somehow became reality
With you
But the sunlight completed my whole life
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude
Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you

When the song ended I got up and took Justin by the hand and led him to our
bunk so we could get some sleep and maybe have some fun before....

TBC

Hey all again I want to thank all of you who sent me an e-mail encouraging
me to continue the series. Some of the events that took place in this story
did really happen. I am learning the hard way that writing about them helps
so from now on I am going to write this story and others not only for the
readers but for me. It in a way is helping me let go of some demons that
have haunted me for years. I would love to get responses from readers
telling me how they like or dislike the story. I also have now gotten my
first web page up and running. You can find it at
www.geocities.com/lil_warrior_2000 it is for and about NSYNC. There is no
porno on it just info and dates. If there is something you want me to post
on it then let me by sending it to me at wesleym2@yahoo.com . Thanks for
reading and good night for now.