Date: Sat, 26 Aug 2000 13:01:01 -0700 (PDT) From: Wes C. <wesm22@yahoo.com> Subject: To Love NSYNC 8 Authors note: Well I wanna thank every one in the #boybands Chat room on IRC which you can get there by either clicking on the link in the main boybands directory or by using mIRC or another client by typing in irc.nifty.org port 6667. It is worth the time to check it out, you could catch your favorite author there, you never know. Also thanks to David of Nifty for hold the archive and all his hard work. Legal Stuff: Hey you know the rules about your age. Also this doesn't mean anything about the celberties mentioned in it. It has fictional character as well, so non of it is true. Contact info: Okay during the last bbsa i had several of you flood my e-mail provider at yahoo which cost me the account i have set up another one so please send ur e-mails to me but don't flood it okies, the flooding was over the bbsa's so i doubt it will happen again. anyway you can e-mail or catch me online in the #bobands chat room as Wesleym2 my e-mail addy is wesm22@yahoo.com And Now: Every thing was going in slow motion now. I saw every thing inch for inch. I don't know how I did it but I got into the front seat and laid across both of the guys. A minute later I heard the sound of metal grinding against metal. I reached for the lever to lower the back of the seat and Lance was pushed into a laying position. The sound of metal sudennly was broken by a blood curdiling scream. I looked at Justin and it wasn't him nor was it Lance. Then I felt the pain. I felt my body be forced toward the back of the car, being pushed by the steering wheel. I felt my body go numb. Finaly after what seemed like hours everything stoped. I still had some pain but I couldn't move. I looked at Lance and shook his head showing he was fine. I looked Justin and he had this ghostly look on his face. It was the look of utter fear, but it wasn't from the crash it was from something else.I slowly saw him raise his hand from my back and there was blood on his fingers. We made eye contact once more before everything went blank and black. **SomeTime Later** I could hear voices around me whispering, crying at times. I could feel a hand on mine. One voice stuck out though that was Justin's. He kept pleading for me to come back to him. "Justin...I am here can't you hear me!!!!" But all I got was silence. I was scared.What was going on. The last time I heard Justin's voice was when he was yelling at someone. "I AM NOT LEAVING WES...HE SAVED MY LIFE AND YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE TO GO ON TOUR!!!" The yelling continued but in the end the other party won out. I felt the hand that was on mine leave.I was oblivious to the time, or the date. Every so often someone would come in and touch me on the arm and all. Like an examination. I could smell flowers in the room. I eventually learned when it was daylight and when it was dark. But it didn't matter to me cause where i was at it was always dark. Days went by and only those who messed with machines or to check me ever came in or to visit me. I know someone turned on the tv cause i could hear it. But it didn't help. My strength was gone. Two months had gone by till I heard the familiar voices and the the touch. I heard the voices more clearly now to tell who was who. I now knew it was the guys. They would tell me of their tour so far, things that each of them saw the other do. They would laugh and cry. Always asking me to come back. Then once again I heard them say it was time to go back on tour but this time would be different. I felt Justin lean over and kiss me. I felt his tears on my face for the first time. I heard him whisper in my ear. "I Love You Wes." I started to feel his hand move out of mine but I wasn't going to let him go this time. I concentrated with all my strength. YESSSSS...I felt it my hand slowy it was responding. Slowly I closed my hand around Justin's. I felt him start to pull away but his hand was stuck. **Justin's veiw** I started to pull my hand from Wes's but it wouldn't release. I looked and watched. Thats when I saw his hand move and close tighter around mine. "Wes is that you are you making your hand close?" I watched for a minute and I started to turn away and pull my hand out. When I heard it. The most beautiful sound on the planet or the universe. "Don't...go..." I heard him say. Fresh tears streamed down my face. But this time tears of joy. "I won't Wes I promise I won't." I turned and I saw Lance re-enter the room. "Justin whats wrong we need to go now." I smiled through the tears. "He spoke, Wes spoke." I said almost screaming. Lance was on the other side of the bed. "Wes can you hear me say something!!" "Wa..ter..need water..!!" We heard Wes say. **Wes's Veiw** I did it, they finally heard me. The next thing I heard was Lance screaming at the top of his lungs. "WES NEEDS SOME WATER!!!" Thank God he wasn't next to my ear when he did. I heard a bunch of foots steps running and i heard the intercom sound. I heard people crying with joy. Now was the time to open my eyes and see what the world has left for me. Slowly I opened my eyes concentrating very hard.Everything was a bit blurry but then everything came into focus. Justin was standing over me on my Right side and Lance on my left both holding my hands. JC was next to Justin, Joey next to Lance and Chris at the foot. I felt Justin release my hand and then placed his arm behind my shoulders and helped raise me up. I watched as he brought a glass of water to my lips. I slowy drank it. I finished it off and then my other bodily functions kicked in. "Guys I have got to piss like no telling what." They all broke in a fit of laughter. Justin reaches for the pee bottle and helps me with taking care of business. I saw Justin touch my right leg but i never felt it. I was scared. "Justin you just touched my leg didn't you?" Justin just looked at me with a weird look on his face. "Yeah I am resting my hand on it now, why?" I felt the tears well up in my eyes. "I..I can't..feel it, i can't feel my legs Justin i can't!" I sobbed out. Justin returned back up to me and held me, slowly rocking me. I felt his tears fall on my head as he cried as well. We heard some one come in so we looked to see whoit was. "Aww I see Mr. Cook is awake finally, welcome back. Now I see you have discovered you have no feelings in your legs. Well the reason being is in the crash your broke your back in a way that severed two nerves, those two nerves are the ones that control feeling and movement to your legs. Basically you will never walk again, there is nothing we can do to correct it, I am sorry. But other than that you are fine. Your vitals check out but we need for you to stay a few more days so we can help get your strength back and then we can release you but you will have to go through physical theropy." The doctor left the room. I was crying so was Justin. Lance went to Justin and held him. I had closed my eyes to adjust to the fact I would never walk again. "Could everyone leave but Justin and Lance please?" I asked and they all left except the two I had asked to stay. There was a long silence after the door closed. No one wanted to speak, but every one was thinking the same thing. "How long?" I said breaking the deafly silence of the room. "Wh..what do you mean?" Lance spoke. "Don't give me that shit Lansten! You damn well what I am talking about!" "Wes please calm down." Justin pleaded "It happened only once, I was crying one night and Lance came to check on me, one thing led to another..." Justin went silent. He hung his head in shame as did Lance. "I...I guess it doesn't really matter to me cause we were really never a couple. I hope you two are happy together, now please leave." "But..." Justin tried to say but i stopped him. "No! Leave please" I said. They left like i said, but JC came into the room. "Wes, what the hell just happened? Why is Justin crying his eyes out? He keeps repeating that you don't love him anymore." "JC he and Lance got together." "Oh that, after that night Justin came to me crying soooo hard that he had ruined what he had started with you. He was a wreck for over a week and a half. He found a picture of you and held on to it all the time even when we would perform he had it on him, before each show he would sit and stare at it, and when he would go to sleep he would cry holding it. Justin Loves you very much, yes he screwed up and he paid for it, can you forgive him." With that he left. I just laid there, softly crying. I knew he was right, slowly sleep over came me again and i soon feel asleep. I woke up suddenly after reliving the crash in a dream. I looked around for a moment and I saw a figure asleep on the couch. I focused my eyes and saw it was Justin. He was still crying, and I saw the picture he held onto. Apparently one of the guys took it when me and Justin weren't looking. My heart broke seeing him in sooo much pain. It was then i decided to do what i could to ease it. "Justin you awake?" I saw him jump off the couch like a rabbit ready to jump at the slightest hint of danger. "Y..yess, I'll leave if you want?" "No, i don't want you to leave, I want you to come here." Justin slowly walked up beside me. He was scared, I could understand why too. I took ahold of justins hand and slowly brought it up to my face. I rubbed it on my face. I remembered that touch. I brought to my lips and kissed it. "I'm sooo sorry Justin, can you forgive me?" He took his hand and wiped my tears away from my face. I leaned into his hand. I looked up at him and under the tears was a smile. "Wes there is nothing to forgive. And me and Lance never went that far so don't worry, we both know that we aren't we want. He knows that I love you and only you." He slowly leaned down and our lips meet for the first time since i woke up. Justin pulled up a chair and slept there but he held onto my hand. The next few days Justin never left my side. He helped me with my physical theropy and helping me learn to use my arms more for getting around. Finally the day arrived that I would get to go home. Justin signed the documents and had a limo ready. I was happy and so was Justin. "Justin can we stop by the church for a bit. Catholic or Baptist preferebly Baptist." "Sure." He told the driver where to go and we were on our way. a few minutes later we arrived at First Baptist Churh. I had a friend here who was the pastor. We got out and I got in my wheelchair. A middle aged man came up to us once we entered the church. It was Bro.Cagle. "Wes, how are you doing it has been a while." "Yeah I know, but i came to council with you and i want Justin here," I pointed at Justin, "to be in the there to." "That is fine, please follow me." We went down some corridors and finally entered his office. on one side was sevral chairs so ppl and the pastor could talk, on the other end there was a large oak desk, with a computer to one side and on three walls was a library of books. Justin and the preacher sat down. "Now what can i do for you two today?" "Well first off I wanted to thank you for your prayers that went up for me and and waking up and all." "No need brother, second is i finally found that person who fills my life other than the Lord." "Yes I see. I am proud for you. But i think you came for a different reason and i think i know what it is. The Bible says of the many miracles Jesus performed, Wes and he can do the same for you just pray in earnest and he will do it." "Thankyou.." We spoke for a few more minutes and then we had prayer. "Our heavenly Father, thankyou for everything you have given us, good or bad. You are the great physician and at your will can heal the sickness and make the lame walk again. We lift up to you now our brother Wes, Lord I don't have to list all the things wrong with him cause you know already. The doctors have done all they could now we place his health in your hands. Lord forgives where we fall and forgives those who traspassed against us. In Christ's name we pray amen." "Amen" me and Justin said at the same time. We left the church and went home. One to rest and two to just be together. Justin put on Mariah Carey's Thank God I Found You single for us to hear. I would give up everything Before I separate myself from you After so much suffering I've finally found the honest truth I was all by myself for the longest time So cold inside And the hurt from my heart It would not subside I felt like dying Until you saved my life Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish And every dream Somehow became reality With you But the sunlight completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you I will give you everything There's nothing in this world I want but you To insure your happiness I'll cherish every part of you Cause without you beside me I can't survive If you're keeping me warm each and every night I'll be alright Cause I need you in my life Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish And every dream Somehow became reality With you But the sunlight completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you See I was So desolate before you came to me Looking back I guess it insures that we were destined to shine Over the rain To appreciate The gift of what we have And I'd go through it all over again To be able to feel this way Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish And every dream Somehow became reality With you But the sunlight completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you "Thats is a beautiful song babe," I told Justin. "Yeah it is." We sat there on his bed listening to the song repeat it self. Out no where Justin decided to give me a foot massage. "Hehe...knock your self babe." He started to rub my feet and I felt it. "Ju..Justin i felt it!" I was scared and happy at the same time. Justin continued to rub my feet and legs. "Justin I can feel it!! I can Feel it" I began to cry from happiness. Slowly I turned my foot to the side. It moved. I tried the other, same thing. I lifted my left leg up in the air. By Now both of us were crying and hugging each other. A miracle had happened. He helped me stand for the first time in over three months. I stood and I felt strong no weakness any where. I heard the guys come in and me and Justin went to go meet them. We walked into the living room and when the turned around the dropped everything they had in their hands. "It's a miracle!" they all said together. The next thing I know is I am in the middle of this huge group hug. We heard the door open and Lynn walked in and saw me standing and she went to the floor unconscious. everyone flocked to her. We got her on the couch and a wet cloth on her forehead. Slowy she woke up. "Wes is it true was you standing by your self?" "Yes Mrs. Harliss I was" She pulled me into a hug and then we all just sat down and talked about things that had happened over the past three months while I was asleep. When clouds above you Start to pour And all of your doubts Rage like a storm And you don't know who you are anymore Let me help you find What you've been searchin' for (Somewhere) somewhere there's a field and a river (Somewhere) you can let your soul run free (Someday) someday let me be the giver, let me bring you peace (Somewhere) somewhere there's a break in the weather (Somewhere) where your heart and spirit go free (Someday) someday it'll be for the better let this bring you peace Girl I know you Think no one sees The weight on your shoulders But you cant full me And aren't you tired Of standin' so tall Let me be the one To catch you when you fall (Somewhere) somewhere there's a field and a river (Somewhere) you can let your soul run free (Someday) someday let me be the giver, let me bring you peace (Somewhere) somewhere there's a break in the weather (Somewhere) where your heart and spirit go free (Someday) someday it'll be for the better let this bring you peace Let me bring you joy (bring you joy) Let me bring you peace (bring you peace) Take these tears that you cry And trust them to me Let me give you hope (give you hope) Let me give you hope (give you hope) Be the one constant love That you've never known (Somewhere) somewhere there's a field and a river (Somewhere) you can let your soul run free (Someday) someday let me be the giver, let me bring you peace (Somewhere) somewhere there's a break in the weather (Somewhere) where your heart and spirit go free (Someday) someday it'll be for the better let this bring you peace TBC... Maybe let me know what you all think and i may continue this story. Ttyl.