Date: Mon, 6 Dec 1999 05:41:01 -0800 (PST)
From: Francis O'Ratigan <frnceso@yahoo.com>
Subject: Chapters 15, 16, 17  From out of the Ashes

Hello everyone, Remember this is fiction and in no way reflects the actual
sexual orientation of any of the BSB or Nsync.  If you are a minor than you
know you shouldn't be reading this so scat!! Come back when you are
legal. If you are legal than enjoy the story.

Now begins Chapter 15

On the way into town I leaned my head against Kevin.  He looked down at me
and pulled me closer to him.  I was quietly crying.  He comforted me by
rubbing my shoulder.  "Don's worry Babe, we'll rebuild her," he soothed.

"It wont be the same," I whimpered.  "I mean almost 250 years of history up
in smoke.  That is something that can't be replaced."  Fresh tears comes to
my eyes as I dwelt on it.  He reached down and took my face in his hands
and gently wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I know that she meant a lot to you and to the community but human lives
are more important than a house.  And you did a lot to save two very
special people today, and that has to worth something," he said looking
into my eyes.  I leaned and kissed him slipping my tongue in his mouth.  He
moaned softly as he pulled me closer to him.  We heard some coughing and we
broke apart to see the guys staring at us with grins on their faces.

"You're right Kevin, when did you get to be so wise?" I asked with a smile.

"Oh well that comes with old age!" piped up Nick.  Leave it to Nick to
liven up the mood.  Soon everyone but Kevin was laughing.  He was mock
glaring at Nick.

"Old age?" he yelped out.  "I'll show you Old Age!" he said reaching over
and smacking the back of Nick's head.

"Hey watch the hair man!" he yelped back swatting Kevin's hand away.  That
was it for the rest of the guys they all ganged up on poor Nick messing up
his hair.  He tried in vain to stop them.  I looked out of the corner of my
eye to see A.J. staring at me and grinning.

"What?" I asked.

"You need a change," he announced.

"What are you planning?" asked Kevin getting worried.

"He needs to dye something or peirce something," informed A.J.

"Oh no you don't!  Every time someone gets a new boyfriend you have to do a
make over on him," argued Kevin.  A.J. started laughing.  "Well it is not
happening this time."

I of course had to join in on A.J.'s fun.  "Oh I don't know Kevin, it might
be fun!" I giggled.  A.J. grin got wider.  Kevin looked at me with his eyes
so big.

"Oh no not you too!" he exclaimed with pleading eyes.  I enjoyed teasing
Kevin since I didn't do it very often.

"Well I am getting tired of this look," I said looking and winking at A.J.
He scooted over and grabbed my head and started inspecting it.

"Well I don't know Jason, maybe we could go with bright orange with blue
streaks," he said thoughtfully.  By this time I couldn't hold back any
more.  I started laughing.  Kevin glared at me and ruffled my hair.

"Why you little mmmph!!!" he started as I shut him up with a kiss.  We
broke apart and he looked at me and said with a grin.  "You know now that
you mention it maybe you would look good with an earing," he said with his
eyes twinkling.  Oh oh now it was sounding all to familiar.  I backed up
with a scared look on my face.

"You know I was kidding right?" I asked worried.  He just grinned.

"Well maybe I'm not," he said laughing.  Than he got serious and looked at
me with those eyes of his.  "Would you, for me?" he asked.

"Oh alright but just one ear ring.  And no dye!" I said looking at A.J.

"We'll see," he said laughing.  By this time we had arrived at the
hospital.  We all climbed out of the limo and walked into the emergency
room and passed the area where they were holding J.C. I peeked in and saw
him lying on a stretcher.  He was staring up at the ceiling with tears
streaming down his face.  I started to go in but was stopped by a cop.

"I'm sorry sir but no visitors are allowed near the prisonere," he said.  I
shrugged my shoulders and walked away with Kevin.  We heard Justin scream
in pain and Brian took off running towards the sound.  We ran into the
cubicle where he was laying.  The nurse was trying to remove the dressing
and Justin was trying to stop her.  Brian walked over to him and took his
hand in his.

"Are you giving the nurse a hard time Curly?" he asked softly.  Justin
glared at him.

"It hurts," he complained.  The nurse rolled her eyes.  "Well it does!" he
insisted.  I almost busted out laughing but covered it up with a cough.

"But Babe, they have to take the old dressing off and clean it," soothed
Brian.  Justin looked down and nodded.  So the nurse went back to work.
Justin groaned softly in pain as she removed the old packing.  I looked at
Brian in time to see tears streaming down his face. 'Oh Oh that boy has it
bad for Justin,' I thought to myself.  After the nurse was done Brian
looked at her and asked, "So is he going to live?" with his trademark
smile.  Justin shot him a nasty look and Brian just winked at him.

"Shame on you for teasing a wounded man," I spoke up hitting Brian lightly
on the shoulder.  Justin smiled at me and than stuck his tongue out at
Brian.  "It is good to see you looking a little better."

"Well my fever is down but they have to do surgery," he said scared.  Brian
leaned down and lightly kissed him on the lips.

"Don't worry Curly, we're all here for you," he soothed.

"What about your house?" he asked me worried.

"Well it is not a total loss.  We will rebuild her," I told him.

"I'm real sorry about it," he said.

"Don't worry about it Curly.  You just concentrate on getting better," I
said kissing him on the forehead.

"Come on Jason, let's leave the two love birds alone," said Kevin grabbing
my hand and pulling me towards the door.

"Yea, we should get you guys home to bed," I commented.  Kevin looked at me
funny.  "I have a House up in the mountains we can stay at for the time
being.  It is not the Mansion but it is nice," I informed him.  So we went
and got the other guys.  Brian insisted on staying with Justin.  So the
rest of us got in the car and headed towards the mountains.  Nick was being
a pain in the but by asking every five minutes, "Are we there yet?"

After the tenth time I lost it. "No we are not here yet and if you ask one
more time you will be walking!" I scolded.  Kevin busted up laughing.

"Yes Daddy," Nick said sheepishly.  Soon we were all laughing at poor Nick.
He was silent for the rest of the trip.

Finally the car pulls into the drive way of my mountain home.  It was a
small three bedroom dwelling with a finished basement.  It would be big
enough to house the gang until we could figure out what to do with South
Fork.  We all climbed out of the car and I unlocked the door and turned on
the lights.  Kevin looked around approvingly.  "Nice place," he said
looking around.  Nick at once went to the kitchen and started going through
my cubbards.  I laughed at him and he just glared at me.

"Hey you guys, you have to see this!" yelled Howie who was on the outside
deck.  All of the guys ran outside to see what Howie was looking at.  I of
course knew what they were looking at.  They were looking at the view.  It
was dark out so you couldn't see much.  Oh well they would be able to see
more of it tomorrow.  I reached into the freezer and got out some ground
beef and defrosted it and in no time had a pasta dinner with salad and
Bread on the table.

"Dinner is served come and get it!" I called.  Everyone came trouncing in
except Kevin.  I went outside to look for him and found him sitting on one
of the lawn chairs.  "Hey Babe, you want to eat?" I asked sitting down
beside him.

"Man, where did you find this little piece of heaven?" he asked.

"By complete accident.  My wife and I were looking for a cheep place to
live.  That was before my writing career really took off.  We found this
place and fell in love with it. We couldn't afford it at the time.  But
after I sold my first screen play I bought it.  Never had the heart to sell
it after we bought South Fork," I said.  Kevin snuck up behind me and slid
his arms around me and kissed my neck I leaned back enjoying the cool night
air and my lovers arms around me.  We slowly made our way to one of the
lounge chairs and Kevin sat down first and I sat between his legs and laid
back in his arms.  He softly hummed a love song and I closed my eyes
listening to him.  It wasn't long and I was drifting off to sleep.  Kevin
noticed a difference in my breathing and looked down and saw that I was
asleep.  He smiled to himself and picked me and carried me into the house
and into the bedroom and laid me down on the bed.

(From Kevin's point of View)

I looked down at my sleeping Angle and smiled at him.  He had been through
such a rough day.  I quietly crept out of the room closing the door behind
me.  I made my way back to the Dinning area and sat down at the table.  All
of the guys were looking at me as if waiting for an explanation.  "He was
tired so I put him to bed," I explained.

"Yea that must be rough for him.  You know loosing his house and all,"
spoke up Nick.

"Yea well at least he has this place to stay at until they rebuild the
other house," agreed A.J.

"Well I'm worried about him.  I mean he has been hit with a lot of shit
over the last few weeks.  I don't know how much more he can take," I said
playing with my salad.  I had suddenly lost my appetite.  "I think I'm
going to go to bed," I said pushing my plate away and getting up from the
table.  The rest of the guys said goodnight and I answered them and made my
way to the bedroom where Jason was sleeping.  I stripped to my boxers and
slipped under the covers and snuggled up to my sleeping lover.  He moaned
out my name and reached out for me.  After wrapping my arms around him I
too drifted off to sleep.

It is late at night and I awake to find that Jason was not in bed with me.
I got up and padded down the hall and into the living room.  I found him
standing by the sliding glass door looking out at the view.  I glanced at
the clock on the wall and it read 3:00 in the morning.  I slipped up behind
him and wrapped my arms around him.  He leaned back to let me support his
weight.  "Good morning sweetie," he mumbled sleepily.

"Good morning yourself, what are you doing up so early?" I asked kissing
his shoulder.

"Brian came in about an hour ago. And I couldn't sleep so I stayed up to
watch the view.  You know you all could've told me that Brian was afraid of
heights.  I invited him out on the deck and when he got out and saw the
view with the full moon he about passed out," Jason said.  I smiled and
laughed softly.  "It's not funny Kevin.  He was really scared.  It took me
a good fifteen minutes to talk him back into the house."

"I know, I'm sorry about laughing.  I promise that I wont do it again," I
said sheepishly.  "Now come on back to bed," I softly urged him.  He shook
his head no.

"I'm not sleepy.  You go onto bed with out me.  I'll be there in a little
bit," he promised me.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly rubbing his shoulder.  He shrugged his
shoulder like he does when he didn't want to talk about something.

"Nothing, I'm just doing some thinking is all," he lied to me.  It cut me
to the soul when he did that.  I choked back some tears and smiled and
kissed him softly and left him alone.  I waited until I got into our room
before I lost it.  I let the tears fall freely.  I made my way to the bed
and laid down.  I spent the next fifteen minutes softly crying into the
pillow.  My lover was hurting and he was pulling away from me not letting
me help.  And for the first time in our relationship I couldn't be there
for him.  I felt that I was going to loose him and there was nothing I
could do about it.  At some point I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 16

(From Kevin Point of View)

I awoke to Jason laying next to me.  His back was turned to me.  This
worried me because he always slept while he held me.  It was one of the
things that I loved about him.  I quietly got out of bed as not to disturb
him.  I slipped on Jason's robe and I padded out into the living room.  I
turned on the TV and watched the morning news.  It of course showed South
Fork in flames but it showed something else.  Off in the woods one of the
spotlights showed clearly a trap door opening and two people getting out of
it.  I grabbed a tape and shoved it into the VCR and pushed the record
button.  I got the remainder of the scene on the tape.  I flipped the
channel and got the same picture on a couple of other news casts.  I went
back to the bedroom and put the tape in and rewond the tape.  "Hey Jason,
wake up!" I yelled.  He shot up in bed looking confused.

"Good morning," he mumbled I frowned at him worried that something was not
right.  He just shrugged and plopped back down in bed.  His eyes were red
and not from sleep.  He had been crying again because his pillow was wet
from the tears.

"Come on you have to watch this," I said pushing the play button.  He
watched confused for a moment and than his eyes got big.  "You know who
that is?" I asked.  He shook his head no and got up and replayed and hit
the pause button.

"Get the rest of the guys in here," ordered Jason.  I quickly left the room
and rounded up the rest of the guys.  Soon we were all back in Jason's room
waiting.  With everyone gathered around Jason hit the play button.  After
watching the scene over again Nick spoke up.

"I don't get it?  What does she have to with it?" he asked

"Underneath South Fork there is a tunnel.  They used to use it as part of
the underground railroad.  Only two people knew about it.  Me when I
discovered it and Niles when I showed it to him shortly after I hired him,"
I explained to them.

"But who is the girl?" asked Brian.  I didn't get a good look at her face."
After playing the tape over and over again we still couldn't figure out who
the girl was.  We gave up and got dressed and made breakfast.  I noticed
that Jason was still quiet.  I waited until he got up and went out onto the
deck.  I excused myself and followed him out.  Once outside I went up to
him and placed my head on his shoulder.

"Are you all thought out?" I asked.  He nodded his head yes tears streaming
down his face.  You want to talk about it?" I asked suddenly very afraid.
He walked over and sat down and looked down.

"I'm not sure that this is a good idea," he mumbled softly.  I got weak in
the knees and sat down beside him.

"What's not a good idea?" I asked my voice shaking not wanting to hear his
answer.

"This, everything, I just don't think it is going to work," he said getting
up and walking to the rail.  "I think we should slow down," he sobbed.
Clearly his heart was broken and I didn't know why.  I went to him and
wrapped my arms around him.  He tried to get away but I held on tighter.

"I'm not going to let you go that easily mister," I said with tears coming
to my eyes.  He looked up at me and for the first time I didn't see the
love I usualy see in his eyes.  I sobbed and let him go as if he was on
fire.  "I still love you Jason," I pleaded.

"And I still love you Kevin, but you have to face facts.  Our time together
has been, well to put it bluntly, hell!" he reasoned.  I got mad and walked
up to him and grabbed his face in my hands and pressed my lips to him and
kissed him.  He responded by pushing me away.  I choked back a sob.  "I
want to be alone for awhile Kevin!" he said bluntly.  I backed up until I
came to the rail tears streaming down my face.  My heart was breaking.  For
the first time in my life I couldn't think.  The responsible unbreakable
Kevin Richardson sobbing like a child staring at the man that he loved.  He
was slipping through my fingers through my heart and I could do nothing to
stop it.  I ran into the house passed Brian and Nick and into the bedroom
and slammed the door shut.  I fell onto the bed sobbing uncontrollably.  I
heard Brian knocking on the door and calling my name.  I didn't move to
answer the door hopping he would go away.

(From Jason's point of view)

I stood there in shock.  I heard myself say to Kevin that I wanted to slow
down.  "God, why did I do that to him!" I screamed out loud.

"You want to talk about it?" asked Nick as he stepped out onto the deck.  I
fell into his arms sobbing.  "There, there Jason, I am sure it is not that
bad," he said hugging me.

"It is," I sniffled.  He just stood there holding me.  "I told Kevin that I
wanted to slow things down.  But I didn't mean it.  I don't know why I said
what I did," I sobbed loudly.  He broke us apart and led me to a chair and
sat me down in it.  He than knelt down at my feet.

"So you want to slow things down.  That's not a big deal.  A lot of couples
want slow periods," he said with a smile.  I shook my head slowly as if to
clear my thoughts.

"I still love him Nick, but I feel as if I am loosing him for ever and I
feel as if every thing in my world is crumling around me and I can't stop
it.  Some times I just want the pain to end," I said wiping my tears away.
I looked at Nick and he was looking out over the view.

"I've never been in love like you and Kevin so I don't know what it is
like.  I've been attracted to someone but never been in love.  Maybe you
should talk to some one who has been where you are now.  Let me go get him
for you," he said getting up and going into the house.  I sat back down and
looked out over the deck.  I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around
and saw Kevin standing behind me.  I stood up and walked over to the
railing.

"What happened to us Jason?" he asked.  I shook my head.

I don't know Kevin, it's like everything I know and love is falling apart.
And I can't do anything to stop it.  I think I need some alone time," I
said looking down and away from him.  That action alone sent cold chills
through Kevin bones.

"I don't want us to drift apart Jason, I love you," he sniffled.  God I
hated when he did that, I could never resist him when he did that.  I went
to him and grabbed him in a hug.  I was shocked when he didn't respond.

"I just need some space Kevin.  Is that to much to ask?" I asked.  Kevin
spun around with anger and hurt in his eyes.  I went to him and touched his
arm.  But he wrenched it away.
 
"Fine you want to be alone, but what about me?  Where the fuck do I fit
in?" he said a little harshly.  I just stood there looking out over the
valley.  I heard him swear under his breath "So if it's space you want, you
can have all of the space you want!" he said angrily walking back into the
house.  I followed him into the house and into the bedroom where I found
him packing his suitcase.

"You don't have to leave, you know," I told him.

"I'm not leaving the house just the room," he said quietly as he picked up
his suitcase and walked out of the room.  That was when it hit me.  I had
lost Kevin.  I fell to my knees burying my head in my hands sobbing loudly.
The sobs came from my very soul and I felt that there was no escape from
the pain.  I glanced up and looked at the bathroom where the medicince
cabinet was.  It would be so easy to just end the suffering right now.  But
no I couldn't do that.  At least not yet.  "God what is happening to me?" I
sobbed.  I don't remember how long I stayed there but at some point Nick
came in and helped me to the bed.  He covered me up and quietly stepped
back out of the room leaving me alone.

At the Hospital.  (From Brian's point of view)

I rushed out of the gift shop with my arms full of balloons and flowers.  I
was on a mission and there was no stopping me.  I charged towards the
elevator not really paying attention to where I was going.  Slamm! I walked
right into someone.

"Hey watch where you're going!" yelled a female voice.  I looked up and saw
her.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked.  She just smiled.

"I'm here to see J.C.  I hear that he is in the Hospital," she said
sweetly.  I thought I was going to vomit.

"Yea he's here alright.  Under lock and key where he belongs," I sneered at
her.  I didn't stay long enough to argue with her.  I had a mission to
complete.  Once inside the elevator it suddenly dawned on me.  "Oh my God,
that was who that was at South Fork.  What the hell was she doing there?"
I asked out loud.  The elevator stopped and I got out and headed towards my
destination.  I crept up the door and poked my head in and saw my
destination.  I snuck into the room and set the flowers and balloons down
and snuck over to the sleeping figure.  I bent down and pressed my lips to
his.  He moaned and slid his tongue into my mouth.  For a second he was
still asleep than his eyes fluttered opened.  He smiled at me with joy.
"Good morning sleepy head," I joked at him.

"I could wake up like that any day," said Justin stretching.  "Where did
you go last night?" he asked pouting.  My heart went out to him.

"I went over to Jason's home last night," I told him giving him another
kiss.  I looked him over and saw that his arm was still in a sling.  "So
how did the surgery go last night?" I asked him pointing at his shoulder.

"All they did was remove the bullet and stitched me up," he said.  "They
should let me out of here tomorrow."  He looked at me and saw a change.
"What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's Kevin and Jason, they had some kind of big fight or something, Kevin
moved out of the room and into mine.  I don't know what happened but I'm
sure that whatever it is it is probably Jason's fault," I said harshly.
Justin looked at me in a scolding face.

"Now Brian, we don't know that for sure.  Who knows they just might want to
slow down a little," he explained.  I shook my head no disagreeing with
what he had to say.

"I don't think so.  Kevin has been there for him in every way-" I started.
Than Justin hit me with the big one.  I cringed as he did it.

"What about when he cheated on him with J.C.," he pointed out.

"Well that was different," I tried to excuse him.

"How was that different," said Justin getting angry.

"Well Jason was in a Coma," I added knowing that it wasn't an excuse.

"How the hell is that different.  I guess if I was in a coma you would be
able to cheat on me!" Justin shouted at me.  I backed off not wanting him
to be mad at me.

"No, you're right babe.  I guess we are just going to have to let them
solve their own problems.  I just hate seeing them hurt," I admitted.

"We can be there for them, and we can let them know that we love and
support them," he said smiling at me.  'God he was so sexy when he smiled
like that,' I thought to myself.

(From Jason Point of view)

I woke to a knocking at my door.  "Come in," I yelled out still half
asleep.  The door opened and in walked Nick with a tray.

"I thought you would want some lunch," he said nervously.  He walked to the
bed and put the tray in my lap.  "It is just grilled cheese," he said.

"Thank you, Nick you didn't have to do this," I said looking at him.  He
just smiled and looked away.  I smiled to and dug in.  We talked about
stuff while I was eating.  I was amazed at what I didn't know about Nick.
He really was a nice guy I found that he was easy to talk to.  He had a
great sence of humor to.  I soon found myself opening up to him in ways I
had never been able to with Kevin.  Suddenly that scared me.  Tears came to
my eyes again as I thought of Kevin and I.  I stood up and walked out of
the room and into the living room.  Nick followed me out.  Kevin was
sitting there watching TV.  He looked up at me and smiled a little.

"Did you have a nice nap?" he asked.  I nodded yes.  Nick came into veiw
and Kevin's expression turned to anger at once.  "What the hell is this?"
he yelled getting up storming over to Nick and grabbing him and slamming
him against the wall.  "You trying to move in on my boy friend!"  Nick
shoved him back only to get away from him.

"Kevin stop!" I yelled.  "Nick is just being a friend right now.  And a
friend is what I need."  Kevin just glared at Nick and stalked off.  "Come
on Nick let's go for a walk and leave Kevin alone for a while," I said.  I
knew that it would make Kevin mad if I did that but for some reason I
didn't care.  Once outside I turned to Nick and asked him a question.
"Nick, I have to ask you this question.  Are you attracted to me?" I asked.
Nick looked over at me with a scared look on his face.  I had to laugh at
him.  "Don't worry, I wont tell Kevin."

"Well in that case, yes I am attracted to you," he said looking down at his
feet.

"You understand that I love Kevin right?" I asked.  He shuffled his feet
and kept looking at the ground.  "Nick did you hear what I said?  I said I
love Kevin," I said again.

"Yea I heard you the first time," he sniffled.  'Gees what was it with
these guys and their sniffling.' I thought to my self.  "It's just that
whenever I find someone I am attracted to he is either taken or someone
else finds him first.  I just want some one to love," he complained.  My
heart went out to him.  We walked and talked some more and than headed back
to the house.  I walked into the room in time to hear Kevin on the phone.

"I don't know what to do Mom, I love him so much but I feel like I am
losing him and there is nothing I can do to stop it," he sobbed into the
phone.  "What?" he asked, "No mom I don't think so, he has a good head on
his shoulder and lots of friends and family for support.  No Jason would
never resort to doing something that stupid."  he said.  I knew what he was
refering to and I got mad.  I stormed into the room and grabbed the phone
out of his hand.

"I'm sory Mrs. Richardson, but I need to talk to Kevin right now!" I yelled
slamming down the phone.  "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" I
shouted at Kevin.

"I was talking to my mother until you interupted me!" he shouted back at me
shoving me.  I was in shock Kevin had never raised a hand at me.  I backed
off a little still mad, so mad that I was shaking.  I felt a hand on my
shoulder and looked back and saw Nick's caring face.  It should've calmed
me down but it didn't.  Instead I got madder.  I slammed my fist into the
wall putting a hole in the dry wall.  Kevin jumped and Nick let out a small
shout.

"Jason we're worried about you," Nick said softly.  I walked to the kitchen
bar and sat down in one of the stools.

"What did your mother think I was going to do?" I asked Kevin.  "And don't
lie to me.  I want the truth!" I shouted at him.  Tears came to his eyes as
he looked down at his feet.

"She was wondering if you might try to commit suicide," he stated.  I stood
up and stomped out of the room and into my room slamming the door and
locking it.

(From Kevin's point of view)

I just stood there in shock not knowing what to do.  I walked to the door
and tried the knob.  It was locked.  I knocked on it and was answered with
a vase slamming against it.  I walked back to the living room and plopped
down in the chair.  Nick was still standing there in shock.  Neither one of
us saw Brian walk in.  He looked at the whole in the wall and observed Nick
and I at opposite ends of the room.

"Someone want to tell me what happened here?" he asked sitting beside
Kevin.

"Something is wrong with Jason," spoke up Nick.  "He and Kevin just had a
huge fight and He locked himself in his room and he wont let us in."

"How did this fight start?" He asked.

"Jason and I came back in from our walk and he got mad at Kevin because he
caught him on the phone with his mother talking about Jason might wanting
to commit suicide.  Jason got real mad and punched the wall and than locked
himself in his room," said Nick.

"Fuck!" Brian swore and walked to Jason's room.  He banged his fists on the
door.  "Hey Jason, open the Fucking Door!" he shouted.  We heard silence on
the other end.  "Come on Jason open the door!  I want to talk to you!"
shouted Brian again.  Again we were answered with silence.  It was starting
to scare me.  "If you don't open this door I'm going to bust it down!" he
shouted one last time.  We were releived to hear the lock click and the
door open.  Brian stepped in.

(From Brian's Point of View)

I stepped in and surveyed the room.  Needless to say it was trashed.  I
looked over at the window where Jason was sitting.  I walked over to him
and spun him around.  I was shocked to see his face.  It was dark with hurt
and pain.  But under neath all of that was anger.  I knew what had
happened.  Jason had reached the breaking point.  And if we didn't do
something quick he would hurt him self or someone.  I started humming
Amasing Grace.  He looked up at me like I was nuts.  I blocked every thing
else out and started singing.  His anger left and was replaced by tears.
He started sobbing into his hands.  I cradled his body in my arms and let
him cry.  Kevin came into the room and I motion him to call 911.  He looked
at me puzzled and I nodded at Jason.  He finally stopped crying and I laid
him down on his bed.  I than went to get Nick.

"Nick I need you to watch Jason," I told him.  He looked confused.  "He is
real close to having a breakdown.  I don't want him left alone.  He might
hurt himself," I explained.  Tears came to Nick's eyes and he nodded and
rushed to the room.  I walked over to Kevin who was on the phone.  I waited
until he got off the phone.

"What is wrong with him Brian?" he asked with tears in his eyes.

"He has reached the breaking point.  He is either having a breakdown or
damn close to it.  We need to get him help," I explained.  Kevin started
sobbing and I pulled him into a hug.

"He was always so strong.  I don't understand," he babbled.  I shook my
head and he looked at me in shock.

"You know the crap he's gone through the last month and a half.  He is
lucky he has lasted as long as he has," I said to my hurting cousin.  He
nodded in agreement.  We heard Nick yell. And than we heard a terrible
crash.  Both of us ran to Jason's room.  Nick was trying to hold Jason down
and Jason was trying to get up.

"Let me go!" Jason screamed.  His eyes were all wild.  He looked right at
me and screamed at me.  "This is your fault you jack ass!  Let me the fuck
go!!" he raged.  Almost with inhuman strength he threw Nick off of him.
And charged at me.  I met him head on and tackled him as gently as I could.
Kevin jumped in and help me restrain him.  Kevin was in tears sobbing the
whole time we were holding Jason down.  "You can't hold me here forever!"
he screamed at us trying to hit Kevin with his one free hand.  By this time
A.J. and Howie had arrived on the scene.  They helped us restrain and calm
down Jason.  This time both A.J. and Nick stayed in the room to watch him.

Finaly the Ambulance arrived and loaded Jason onto the stretcher.  It
pained Kevin to see them break out the thick leather restraints and use
them on poor Jason.  Jason was concsious but was silent the whole time.
Every once in a while he would glare at either Kevin or I.  They wouldn't
let us ride in the ambulance so we followed him down.

Chapter 17

(From Kevin's point of veiw.)

Once inside the Hospital we went the emergency room.  I could hear Jason
yelling at the nurse.  "Let me go!! There is nothing wrong with me!" he
yelled picking up tray and throwing it against the wall.  She came running
out and motioned to two security gaurds and they ran in.  There was more
yelling and banging.  Finally there was silence.  I crept around the corner
and pocked my head in the doorway.  I saw him laying on the stretcher with
both arms and legs restrained.  He was glaring up at the ceiling with such
hate in his eyes.  The Nurse moved aside to allow me in.  I sat next to him
and reached and touched his shoulder.  He jerked away and glared at me.

"If you love me you will take me home now!" he yelled.  Tears welled up in
my eyes.

"I'm sorry Jason I can't do that.  You need to be here right now.  This is
the best place for you to get---" I started.

"Fuck you and get out!!" he screamed at me.  "Leave me alone," he whimpered
letting the tears fall.  My heart whent out to him.  But I didn't dare
touch him again for fear of what he might do.

"I'm not going to leave you Babe.  I love you!" I said softly in as calm of
a voice as I could muster.

"Bull shit!!" he hurled at me.  "If you really loved me you would take me
home!"  He tried to get loose but gave up.  He looked away from me knowing
that it would get to me.  He was right it did.  I got mad and stormed to
other side of the stretcher.  He just turned his head the other way.  I
knew than that I had lost him.  I bowed my head and walked out of the room.
I met with Brian and Nick outside.  They were talking to the Doctor.  He
saw me comming and stopped talking.

"Uh Kevin," started Brian gesturing at the Doctor.  "This is Doctor
Rodrigues, he will be working with Jason.  Doctor this Kevin Richardson."

"Ok Mr. Richardson, how would you like me to procede with Mr. Gibson?" he
asked.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand," I said confused.  The Doctor handed me
a slip of paper.

"Mr. Gibson gave you power of attorney over all of his affairs if something
ever happened to him," explained the Doctor.  "This copy was in his medical
record.  We can't start treatment on him until you give us the go ahead."

"Can we go somewhere to sit?" I asked staring at the paper.  We were led to
a conference room and we all sat down.  "What is wrong with Jason?" I
asked.

"He is very close to having what you would call a nervous breakdown.  He is
also very depressed.  It is a good thing that you brought him in when you
did.  It probably saved his life.  We need to keep him in the hospital for
observation and treatment.  After a few days we will know the extent of his
condition."

"What is the best and worst case?" I asked.

"Best case he'll be back to normal in a few weeks.  Worst case we might
have to commit him.  Than we are talking about months even years."  He
said.  Tears came to my eyes and I looked down at the paper.  I felt a hand
on my hand and I looked up into the eyes of the Doctor.  "Frankly
Mr. Richardson, I don't see the worst case happening.  He is very lucky to
have you guys in his corner.  From what I've seen you guys are like family
to him."

"He hates me now," I mumbled.

"You have to understand that the Jason you know and love is not that man
lying on the stretcher in the other room.  You have to keep that focus in
your mind," he encouraged me.  I nodded my head.  "Now where do you want me
go from here?" he asked.

"Go ahead and admitt him.  I'll leave him in your care.  I want daily
reports on his condition and I want to visit him unrestricted."
Dr. Rodrigues shook his no.

"Mr. Richardson, I really don't think that is a good idea.  I can allow
daily visit but will have to limit them to one hour in the morning and two
in the evening.  I glared at him ready to argue but felt a hand on my
shoulder.  I looked to the right and saw Brian's loving eyes staring at me.
I slowly nodded my head yes.  "Good I want you all to go home and get some
rest.  Be here in the morning for your first visit," he said getting up to
leave.

"Can I say good bye to him right now?" I asked.

"You don't want to do that.  We need to get him admitted and up to his room
as quietly as possible.  These scenes are always ugly," he said.  "Trust me
you don't want to watch."

"I guess you are right Doctor.  And Doc?" I asked.

"Yes Mr. Richardson?" he asked back.

"Take care of him, I love him with all of my heart," I instructed him.

"You're the boss Mr. Richardson," he smiled and left the room.

We walked out of the hospital and into the car and we headed home.  I was
quiet on the way home.  Brian noticed this and scooted over to me.  "I am
sure he will be alright tonight.  They'll take good care of him," he
consoled me.  I smiled at him and nodded.  I didn't want him to know that I
was scared shitless.  My lover was in the hospital because of a breakdown I
couldn't hep but wonder if part of it was my fault.  Brian abruptly changed
the subject.

"Hey that reminds me, you all will never guess who I saw at the hospital
this morning when I whent to visit Justin," he spoke up excitedly.


"Who?" I asked half heartedly.

"The same person who was at South Fork last night comming out of the trap
door," he said with a smile.  I was getting aggravated because Brian was
taking his time telling us.

"Who was it already? and stop stalling!" I shouted.

"Brittney Spears!" he announced.  All of our jaws flopped open as we stared
at him in shock.

It took us several moments to recover from the shock of it.  "This story
keeps getting stranger and stranger by the moment," I said shaking my head.
"What the hell does she have to do with all of this?"

"I don't know Kevin, but tomorrow, first thing in the morning when you pay
Jason a visit I am going to pay J.C. a visit.  That was who she was going
to go see when I collided with her this morning," said Brian.

"That is if they haven't moved him to a jail cell," spoke up Howie.

"No they haven't and wont for a while.  It seems our nutty friend J.C. is
claiming temporary insanity or something.  He claims that he doesn't
remember anything that happen the last 7 months," Brian informed us.  The
car stopped at the house and we got out and walked into the house.  Nick
and Howie and A.J. whent down stairs to bed while Brian and I sat up in the
living room to talk strategy.

(From Jason's point of view)

I don't understand what is happening to me.  Why did Kevin put me in this
place?  Why do they have these restraints on me?  Where is everybody?  I am
tired and can't think straight.  Did they drug me?  "Oh God Kevin, don't
you love me any more?" I sobbed outloud.  The nice lady sitting besides me
comes to my side and looks down at me.  I think she is a nurse or
something.  She smiles at me.  I can tell she is very calm and peaceful.  I
smile back.  "Can you help me?" I asked her.

"Good morning Mr. Gibson, it is good to see that you made it through last
night.  You really had us worried there," she said.  She had a very
pleasant voice.  I looked around the room.  It was all white and the sun
was shinning in the window.  "Do you feel like some breakfast?" she asked
with that pleasant smile.

"If it not to much trouble," I replied.  She laughed, such a pleasant
ringing sound.  It made me laugh to.  It felt good to laugh.  She brought
the tray over and raised the head of the bed up.  I tried to raise my hand
but couldn't.  "How am I supposed to eat?" I asked.  The door opened and
Kevin stuck his head int he door.  He looked at me unsure of what to
expect.  I smiled cheerfully at him and he smiled too.  It lit up his
entire face.

"May be I can help with that?" he offered.  The nice nurse looked at me and
I nodded.  He sat down beside me and started feeding me.  It felt strange
being fed by someone.  But Kevin was so kind and gentle and patient that I
did not have anything to worry about.

"Can I take off these restraints?" I asked.

"I'm sorry Jason but those restraints are for your protection," said Kevin.

"Why?" I asked still very confused as to why I was here.

"What do you remember about last night?" he asked bringing a cup of juice
to my lips.  I gladly accepted it drinking it down.

"Not much, I remember alot of yelling and I remember trying to get away
from someone.  Don't really remember who though," I replied.

"Jason, you are very stressed and it was starting to affect you mentally.
The Doctor said you were very close to having complete breakdown.  I was
really afraid for you last night.  I thought I was going to loose you
forever," he sobbed quietly.  My heart went out to him.  I tried to hug him
but couldn't because of the restraints.

"I love you Kevin and always will.  I would never leave you for anything or
anyone," I tried to assure him.  He looked up at me tears streaming down
his face.

"But yesterday, you said that you wanted to be left alone.  We kinda sorta
broke up," he announced.  My eyes shot open with shock.

"Why would I break up with you Babe? I love you with all of my heart," I
tried to assure him.

"You don't remember saying that to me yesterday morning after breakfast?"
he asked smiling with hope shinning in his eyes.

"Kevin, you have to understand the last 24 hours are a complete blank to
me," I said to him.  "But I do know this, I love you and I have no
intention of ever Breaking up with you.  Face it Babe you are stuck with me
for along time!" I said winking at him.  "By the way where are the rest of
the guys at?" I asked looking around.

"Your visitors are restricted to me and Brian and your family.  The Doctor
doesn't want to stress you," Kevin explained to me.

"Well at least I get to see you," I said happily.

(From Kevin's point of veiw)

He looks and acts normal.  Yesterday he was so angry at me that it hurt me
to even look at him.  Now he is like his normal self.  I wish I could kiss
him right now.  He really needs a kiss and so do I.

"Please take me home Kevin," he pleads with tears in his eyes.  I place my
hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry babe but I can't do that.  You need to stay here and get
better," I softly consoled him.  Brian came in behind me.  Jason eyes
clouded over with hate and anger again.  I tried to remember that it wasn't
his fault but it was hard to do.

"You don't love me anymore!" he screamed at me.  "If you did you would take
me home!" he looked the other way away from me.

"You know that is not true Jason," Brian softly scolded him.  "Kevin loves
you with all of his heart."

"Yea whatever!" he hurled at Brian.  Turning to me he said in his old
voice.

"Babe can you do me a favor?" he asked with a smile.  I looked at Brian
wondering what to do.

"What do you want him to do?" asked Brian.  Jason glared at him.

"I wasn't talking to you!  Now go away!" he shouted at poor Brian.  Brian
just stepped back and tried not to laugh in front of Jason.

"OK Jason, stop yelling at Brian, he is just trying to be your friend," I
scolded him.  He just glared at Brian.  "Now what did you want me to do?" I
asked.

"I want you to go to my bank and get into my safety deposit box and get a
set of blue prints out.  They are new designs for the new South Fork.  I
want you to start work on it right away," he said.

"Ok, I'll go and take care of that for you.  But you have to promise me
something," I told him.

"Sure what ever you want," he said cheerfully.  I was worried about these
sudden mood changes.

"Stop being so hard on Brian, he loves and cares for you and doesn't
deserve to be treated like that," I said to him like I was talking to a
child.

"Well he is a mean person and I don't like him!" he pouted.

"He'll try to be nice for now on, right Brian?" I asked Brian.

"Yea Jason, I'm real sorry I was mean to you.  Can we be friends?" asked
Brian with his trademark smile.  Jason looked hard at him as if trying to
see if Brian was kidding or not.

"Ok you can be my friend Brian," he relented.  Brian face lit up like a
light bulb causing Jason to smile too.  I was really worried now.  It was
like Jason had slipped back into his child hood.  I looked at Brian with
tears in my eyes and he shrugged his shoulders.  I was at a complete loss
as to what to do.

****************************************************************************

Well that is it for this section.  Talk about a twist.  Bet you all didn't
expect that did you?  Well you know the deal.  E-mail me if you like or
hate at frnceso@yahoo.com