Date: Mon, 06 Dec 1999 17:09:47 PST
From: Jeff Kaiser <kaiser_goof@hotmail.com>
Subject: Twist of Fate chapter 10

*I'm looking forward to the upcoming Christmas vacation, so I can get some
chapters written-the ideas are there in my head, but the time isn't in my
schedule.  Boo hoo.

*I'm not trying to be a cosmic kill-joy, but I'd like to take a moment and
remind all the readers about the stated and unstated rules of this story
and the archive.  This story is intended for adults; the laws in the place
where you live should determine when you are an 'adult'.  I invite you to
continue reading this chapter if you are of legal age, and are not offended
by guy-guy relationships.

*Well, happy 10th Chapter Anniversary!  Not to give anything away, but this
chapter will prove to be a turning point in the story.  It is not the
ending, I assure you.  The saga of Billy and Lance has just begun!  Thanks
to all my faithful readers-you ARE the ones that make this story possible.
You all rock!


*Any comments?  Please feel free to send them to me.
~Jeff
kaiser_goof@hotmail.com


Previously on Twist of Fate...

Feeling the exhaustion set in from the events of the morning and early
afternoon, I reached for a pillow to put under my head.  I snuggled close
to Lance, who was still shirtless, and draped my arm over his chest.  I
reached up and ran my hand down his face-his perfect face-and brushed some
stray hairs back into place.  I buried my face in the pillow and drifted
off to sleep.

			     *   *   *   *   *

"Hey!  Peter wants to know if you guys want dinner, so I............ OOOHHH
MYYY."  I heard a voice talking, so I raised my head to figure out what was
going on, still totally out of it from the nap.  When my eyes finally
focused, I jumped awake and ripped my arm from around Lance, almost falling
off the bed.

"Wait, I, uh... it's not... I'm not..."  I had no words for the situation.
Justin stood at the edge of the bedroom area, jaw gaping, not believing the
sight before him.  Lance stirred from the activity in the room and opened
his eyes.  He glanced at me, glanced at Justin, and suddenly became wide
awake.  He looked as if he was trying to say something, but the words did
not come for him, either.

"I'm............ um......... I... don't know what to say.  I'll leave, I
didn't mean to interrupt...... um, oh, man..."  Justin was just about as
speechless as I was.  Justin started backing towards the door.  Lance
managed to holler.

"Justin, wait!"

*****************
Chapter 10

Justin stopped walking backwards, but his eyes were still glued to us on
the bed.  He made no more progress towards the door, but he also didn't
walk any more into the room.  Lance spoke up again.  "I guess now's as good
a time to say this as any.  Justin, please stay, and let me explain.
Billy, can you get me a shirt?"  Still totally shocked, Justin and I simply
stared at Lance, both of us wondering where this was going.  After a few
seconds, though, we both acknowledged him, and Justin moved slowly to the
chair while I dug a shirt out of his suitcase.

"Hey Lance, dude, I don't know what's goin' on here.  I don't know what to
think..."

"Don't think anything yet, Justin," Lance interrupted.  "Let me explain
everything first, then you can decide what to think.  Okay?"  Hesitantly,
Justin nodded.  I gave Lance his shirt, and he slowly put it on, avoiding
the sore spot on his face.  I decided to sit in a very humbled spot on the
edge of the OTHER bed.  Still unsure what Lance was going to say, I also
wasn't sure where my new role, if any, would be in the relationship.  The
next few minutes would prove to be interesting.  Lance began.

"Justin, I've always tried to do and say things in our friendship that
would help and not harm us.  I mean, you're my best bud, and I never want
anything to change that.  But sometimes things need to be shared that can
potentially hurt such a friendship.  I need to share something like that
right now.  After this, you can decide what you want to do with our
friendship.  I hope and pray it won't change your mind about us, but I
still have to say it."  I sat and watched Lance up to this point, and he
seemed to have an amazing peace that passed all understanding.  He looked
as if he was gathering strength and courage from the fact he was being
honest with his best friend.  I glanced over to Justin, who was wide-eyed
and quite intent on hearing what Lance had to say, even if he had to give
his left kidney as a trade.  Lance went on.

"Justin, you know your friend Lance?  The guy who you've known for
years?...... you know, Scoop... your buddy... your bro?...... *BIG PAUSE*
well,......... he's............"  My heart was just about ready to burst
out of my chest, and I'm sure it was the same for Lance, too.  I could
never imagine how hard this was for Lance.  He and I had never actually
said 'that' word out loud.  It wasn't necessary.  The word held so many
stereotypes, most of which were not true about either of us.  However, I
knew that both Lance's and my life would change the instant that word was
spoken.  But it's a step that had to be taken.  Lance took that step.

"well, he's............... gay."

SILENCE.  Justin stared at Lance, Lance immediately stared at the ground, I
looked at my fingernails.  You'd think it would be extremely awkward, but
it was actually a releasing, relieving moment.  I could feel my heart beat
very quickly in my chest, and the thought dawned to me that I hadn't
exhaled for at least a minute.  I did so, and slowly looked up to Justin.
Lance looked up at him, too.  Justin?  Well, he just sat there, and I could
ALMOST hear the gears going in his head.  He slowly leaned back in the
chair, twisted his mouth around a little, and showed he was thinking.
However, Justin's first word of response was unexpected.

"Okay."  Even more silence.  How do you respond to that?  "Okay."  Justin
said again.  He slowly nodded his head at Lance, showing that he had at
least acknowledged what he had just been told.

"Penny for your thoughts?"  Lance asked.  Justin sat for a moment and
thought, but finally responded,

"Well, just like I said: OKAY.  I mean, what you said hasn't really hit me
yet, but if you are gay, it wouldn't do anything to our friendship.  I'm
still thinking, WHOOOOOOA... but we're totally still friends."  Lance
sighed an audible sigh of relief, and I looked over to him as he looked to
me, and we shared a very happy and relieved glance.  Lance looked back to
Justin and said,

"Thanks Just.  That means a lot to me."

"Hey, I just thought of something," Justin said.  "If your gay, does that
mean Billy is...... um......" I bit my lower lip, and spoke for the first
time in the conversation.

"Um,...... let's just say I'd really really REALLY love a backrub from Nick
Carter."  Justin's eyes grew bigger, but then he smiled as he understood my
point.  I looked at Lance, who was giving me a jealous look.
"Hypothetically speaking, of course," I answered him matter-of-factly.  He
smiled and giggled, and we both looked back to Justin, who seemed to have
another question on the tip of his tongue.

"Wow.  So does that mean that you two are... I mean, are you both... Ugh.
Is he your..." He stopped cold, probably out of an inability to physically
form the words in his mouth.  He looked over at me with a
confused/baffled/suspicious/ curious/interested look on his face.

"Yes Justin, Billy is my...... boyfriend."  WOW.  YIKES.  SHAZAAM.  BING
BANG BOOM.  He said it out loud to somebody ELSE!

"Uh huh," was all Justin could say.  Lance had dropped a pretty big bomb on
Justin just a minute ago, and I wasn't sure if he had been ready for the
second.  Realizing that some explaining desperately needed to be done,
Lance began talking.

"Justin, lemmie explain.  First of all, I want you to know where I'm coming
from with this whole thing.  Secondly, I want you to know how it was that
Billy and I met-and I mean the more detailed account compared to the
version you got the other night at dinner..."

Lance went on to spill his heart of the emotions of a guy growing up with
attractions to other guys.  He talked about his family, and how it was hard
growing up as a Baptist while knowing he had these attractions that he
couldn't shake.  He talked about what he wanted in a relationship, and he
dispelled some of the rumors and stereotypes that float around about guys
that have attractions to other guys.  He even shared a lot of things that
he and I hadn't ever discussed, so it was a learning experience for me,
too.  He then went on and explained how he and I REALLY met, and fostered
our friendship, and started our relationship, minus some of the more
intimate details.  Justin simply sat there and absorbed it all, nodding
occasionally to show it was all clicking in his head.  Lance finally came
to an end, and the room was again silent.

"Wow," Justin said to break the quiet.  "That's interesting.  So,
um... pardon me for being blunt, but have you guys, well, you
know... done... anything?"  I'm sure Justin didn't really realize the
extreme personal nature of his question, but I was proud to say we had
nothing to hide.  Lance answered with unbelieving eyes,

"Um, don't you think that's a bit personal, Justin?"  Justin slapped his
hand over his mouth and his eyes got big when he realized he was prying.
Lance chuckled and continued.  "It's okay, Justin.  Don't worry about it.
We've done absolutely nothing.  I don't think either of us are looking for
'that' in this relationship.  I'm looking for a great great friend, and
more... and I found one in Billy."  Lance turned and smiled to me, and I
was nothing but grins.  Justin had turned red, and spoke up,

"Oh man, my bad.  I can't believe I asked that.  I'm sorry.  It's totally
your own business.  I was just wondering because, well, when I walked in,
you didn't have a shirt on, and Billy was... well... you know......"  He
couldn't continue without embarrassing himself.  I laughed and answered
Justin.

"Oh that!  I cleaned up the blood left over from this afternoon, and we had
to get Lance's shirt off to get him all cleaned up.  Afterwards, Lance was
really thirsty, so I ran to get some drinks, only to find him on the bed,
asleep when I got back.  I just wanted to keep him company, so that's where
I wound up, and that's where you found us."  Justin shook his head in
embarrassment.

"I'm sorry guys.  I'm such a putz.  I just don't think before I speak
sometimes.  Anyway, I'm still in shock about the whole thing, but I think
that's great.  I'm cool with it, Lance."  Justin then turned to me and
said, "and I'm cool with you too, Billy."

"Thanks Justin, that means a lot."

"Well dudes, I know we'll talk about this later, but Peter sent me in to
see if you guys were going to want dinner.  We're meeting in the cafe in
about 45 minutes for anyone interested.  I've gotta go find JC, too."

"I think we'll join y'all there.  Count us in."  Lance answered, struggling
to scoot to the edge of the bed so he could stand up.

"Great.  We'll see you there."  Justin got up and headed for the door, but
Lance verbally interrupted his exit.

"Hey Just?  Thanks for being cool with this.  I mean, I'm really glad this
hasn't affected our friendship."  Justin smiled, walked back to Lance, and
gave him a hug.

"Dude, Scoop, nothing could kill our friendship.  Not even you getting a
boyfriend!"  Justin said, smiling big at me.

"Hey, hands off.  He's mine!"  Lance said.  We all laughed.  "Hey Justin?
Do me a favor... Um, I plan to tell the rest of the guys, but I'm not quite
ready.  Please let me choose the time to do it, okay?"

"Aww, no problem.  I wouldn't think about saying anything.  It's safe with
me."  With that, Justin flashed another perfect smile and took off from the
room.  Lance turned to me, gave a half-hearted smile and said,

"I really need another hug."  There was only one way to respond.  I waved
him over with my fingers, saying,

"Come here, Goof... One super-huge hug, on it's way!"

* * * * *

Dinner was pretty uneventful.  Lance had his eye on the porterhouse steak
and all the fixins, but had to settle for the mushy taco salad because he
realized he'd never be able to chew that much with a broken nose.  We each
had our entrees, and we enjoyed a nice, relaxing dinner.  As relaxing as
the meal was, there was still a bunch of chatter.  Funny thing is, it was
directed mostly at me.

"So Billy, what are your school plans?  What do you want to do with your
life?  Do you plan on being in school for a while, or could you see
yourself studying life while traveling?"

All these questions were pretty much asked by Peter, Chris, and JC.  I sat
and answered the questions, curious why I was the main attraction, but at
the same time loving being the center of attention.  Why did my life and my
future suddenly become so important to these guys?  There are plenty of
other things we could discuss!  Justin was strangely silent through the
entire exchange, but I could tell by the look on his face that he was
tickled by the fact that he knew something that the other guys didn't.  We
exchanged smiles now and then when pointless comments were made that were
somehow connected with our little encounter earlier in the day.  Lance had
snapped out of his trance from earlier, and seemed to be back to his
normal, jovial self-with the exception of a smaller bandage on his nose,
which I had helped dress.

At the end of the meal, the bill came and Peter picked up the tab.  I
hadn't expected the band to pay for my meal, so I had asked what my share
was.

"Hey Pete, what do I owe you?"  He looked at me as if I had three eyes and
tentacles coming out my head, and said,

"Don't worry Billy.  This is on us."

"Yeah, Billy it won't be the last time.  It's just something you'll get
used to."  Chris added.  The whole table became silent, and all eyes at the
table glared at him.  Chris' eyes got very big, and he looked like he was
fighting for words to save his life.

"What do you mean?"  I asked innocently.  "Get used to it?"  The tension
was so thick, you could cut it with the steak knife on the table.  The
silence continued, until Lance cleared his throat and spoke up.

"What Chris means is that whenever we're in San Diego, there's no way we're
not treating you to dinner.  It's the least we could do."  Everyone nodded
with big eyes and agreed, and Justin quickly changed subjects to the latest
college basketball standings.  I was mildly curious about the reaction that
Chris had received for his comment, but I was quickly drawn up into the
conversation as it took off.  Since we were on the subject of basketball,
we all had ample opportunities to poke fun of Lance and his nose.  Lance
could only try to make pathetic comebacks to climb out of the bottomless
hole into which he had fallen.  We all got up and went upstairs via the
elevator.  In the elevator, Chris said,

"Hey!  Let's go out tonight... maybe to that jazz club again?  Or hit
another club or something?"  Justin's face perked up, and nodded.

"That'd totally be cool.  Let's do it."  Being the cosmic killjoy that he
was (not really), Peter spoke up.

"Gentlemen, let me remind you that not only do we leave tomorrow morning at
8:30am, technically we're also not in town.  We don't want to blow our
cover.  No, I think we better stay here tonight."  JC laughed at the two
who had just gotten reprimanded, and both Chris and Justin pouted like 5
year-olds.

"Hey, why don't we get together in somebody's room and watch a movie?"  JC
suggested.  "There's got to be something on pay-per-view!"  A unanimous
agreement came up from the crowd, including Lance and myself.

"Cool.  Let's get packed, then meet in, say, 1 hour?"  Peter said.  All the
guys nodded, and exited the elevator towards their separate rooms.  Lance
and I walked down to his room and went in.

"Allow me."  I said as I walked towards his suitcase.  I picked it up off
the floor and placed it on Joey's bed, opening it.  "Ah.  Samsonite.  Good
brand.  I have one just like it!"  We laughed at the reference, since it
WAS the thing that caused our paths to cross.  I started organizing his
stuff, pulling things out of the suitcase and refolding it.  When Lance
realized what was going on, he protested.

"What are you doing?  That's my suitcase."

"Ah, yes... but you're an invalid, so I'm taking over your packing duties."
I ignored the few remaining protests and continued to pack.  I found a
LARGE amount of my clothes in the mix, which I separated.  Lance got up and
picked up the blue sweater he had borrowed a few days ago.  He held it up
to his face to try to smell it, but quickly realized that his nose wasn't
working anymore.  I watched him and laughed.  "Hey, I wash my clothes!
It's clean!"

"No... I was just hoping your scent would be on it."  His facial expression
dropped, and I realized the reality of tomorrow was hitting him.  I
immediately pulled off the T shirt I was wearing (I had changed into one of
Lance's T shirts before dinner) and handed it to him.  He looked confused
until I said, "You want a bit of me to take with you?  This is your shirt,
but it's got my scent on it.  You can take a bit of me with you."

Lance's face brightened up, but I could still see a bit of water forming in
his eyes.  I gently grabbed him for a hug, and we sat there for a long
time, enjoying one of our last moments together before he left.  I took the
opportunity to bury my nose in his neck, and inhale strongly, taking his
sweet scent in.  He had managed to shower before dinner, and he smelled so
good.  Lance just sat there and rubbed my back with his hands, a sensation
I greatly enjoyed.  We finally broke, as Lance said,

"Billy, I WILL make this work.  I can't tell you yet what I'm doing, but it
will work.  I'm fighting for this like I've never fought before!"

"Did you say fighting?"  I asked, curious.  I remembered my inner thoughts
from earlier in the day.

"Yes.  I'm fighting.  Why?"  Lance asked, just as curious.

"Oh... nothing, really.  Nevermind."  I smiled and gave Lance's face a
squeeze.  I grabbed one of my other shirts that I had in the mix and put it
on.  I turned back to the task at hand, and was finished in a few minutes.
Justin stopped by a little later to retrieve us, and we all went over to
JC's room to watch the movie.

"Okay okay, shhhhush!  Here are the options... Payback, Matrix, and Analyze
This.  Those all start pretty soon, so we need to decide."  The whole group
went around and around a few times, arguing, laughing, debating, until we
finally decided on Matrix.  JC called the number and had it ordered.  JC
wound up on one bed, Justin and Chris on the other, on their stomachs,
watching the TV.  Peter curled up on the floor, grabbing his knees, leaning
against one of the beds.  They had pulled the couch from the other side of
the room into the view of the TV, so Lance and I sat there.  Justin gave us
both a look and rolled his eyes playfully, smiling and looking back to the
TV.  I thought I caught Chris and JC eyeing us also, but whenever I looked,
they'd look away.  Weird.  Oh well.

The movie was great, and we all got into watching it.  Lance fought hard to
stay awake, and was doing a pretty good job until the last 20 minutes or
so.  I noticed this, and knew he wouldn't be around too much longer.  When
the movie ended, the lights came on again, and Lance brightened up.

"That was great!  Whattya want to do now?"  Chris asked.

"Cool off, home chicken!  Some of us don't have the same energy as you..."
Lance said, trying to make Chris chill out.

"Ah yes, but some of us aren't doped up on pain killers."  Lance smiled.

"Okay, guilty there.  I think I better hit the hay before I pass out and
hurt myself again."  Everyone laughed as Lance got up from the couch.
However, he decided he was too lazy to walk to the room, and he wound up
sitting on the bed with JC.

"Okay, guys.  As you know, the flight is at 8:30am, so we need to be up at
5am," Peter instructed, receiving a groan from the crowd.  "Come on, I'll
be up early and be sure you get a call, but we need to be at the vans
downstairs no later than 6:30am.  That'll give us time to route around the
back and sneak into the terminal."  Everyone nodded, since it was nothing
new to anyone in the room to get up at such an ungodly hour.  Lance stood
up, said his goodbyes, and walked towards the door.  He looked around to
me, and I nodded, indicating I'd see him soon.  After he left, JC asked me,

"Hey Billy, what are your plans?  Do you want to hang out with us?  We're
probably going to chill for a few more minutes..."  I smiled at JC's
gesture, but replied,

"That sounds like fun, but I think I'll go keep the injured one company for
a while.  I need some rest, too."  Both Chris and JC looked at me funny,
and Chris said,

"You mean you're staying the night?"  Another uneasy silence fell in the
room.  Justin, however, came to the rescue.

"Uh, yeah.  I wanted to hang out with Billy tomorrow morning, maybe grab a
bite to eat before we left, and say goodbye at the airport, so I suggested
he stay the night so he wouldn't have to drive all the way from home."  JC
squinted and Chris nodded slowly, but they both accepted the excuse and let
it drop.  I looked at Justin with this look that had "thank you!!" written
all over it, and he just smiled back.  We bantered around for a few minutes
more, and JC finally told this really long, really funny joke that had us
all in stitches in the end.  Finally, it was time to call it a night.

"Hey Billy, I'm really glad you got to hang out with us this week.  You're
cool, and I had fun," Chris said in earnest, and I smiled and shook his
hand.

"Yeah, me too," JC added in as he leaned over for a handshake.

"Thanks guys.  You're totally cool, too.  It's too bad you don't live here
in San Diego, or else you'd see me all the time."  Chris, JC, and Justin
all exchanged looks with smiles, then turned back to me and finished their
goodbyes.  What was with the hidden looks tonight?  Oh well.

I got back to the room to hear the shower running.  Not long after I
plopped onto the bed, the shower stopped and Lance emerged, wearing a pair
of boxers and a T shirt.

"How are you doing?" I asked, concerned about him.

"I'm alright.  Thanks.  Just tired."

"Well, you need some rest after today.  Off to bed you go."  I got off
Joey's bed and pulled down the covers on Lance's bed.  Lance slid right
under the covers and laid on his side, grabbing a bunch of the bedspread to
hug.  I ran to the bathroom, brushed my teeth with Lance's toothbrush, and
stripped down to my boxers.  After turning off the lights in the room, I
snuck behind Lance in bed and spooned my body to his.  Lance let out a
sigh, and I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug.

"Lance?  I have to tell you something."

"You're pregnant?" was his groggy response.  I laughed.

"No silly, you're the girly one!"  He jerked around and said,

"What?  What are you talking about?!"  I was nothing but giggles about my
ability to turn the tables on Lance.  He shook his head and curled back up
into a ball.

"But seriously?  This is our last time together for a while.  I can't say
I'm not scared, because I am.  I know there is always the chance that you
could get on that plane tomorrow and everything we have could disappear.
But I'm trusting in you that you'll make it work.  You won't tell me what's
up, so that means I can't help.  So I am just trusting in you."  Lance
rolled onto his back and looked me in the eyes.

"That means a lot, Billy.  I promise you, I will not let you down.  We will
be together, no matter what."  His promise melted my heart, and I leaned in
to kiss him.  The kiss was so peaceful.  No force, no pressure, no worries.
It was probably the last kiss of this nature for a while, and it spoke
volumes of the relationship that had quickly been built over the past week.

When the kiss finally broke, I snuggled down next to Lance's chest and
pulled him close with my arm.  His hand came to rest on my head, stroking
my hair.  That was my last memory of the evening.

* * * * *

5am came way too early.  Peter called, I got showered and changed (into one
of Lance's outfits, of course), we met downstairs at 6:45a, and all of us
helped ourselves to the complimentary continental breakfast provided by the
hotel.  Since most of the crew and staff had left after the concert, all
the guys' stuff, along with them, fit in the van.  I was to drive down
separately, and meet them in the VIP lounge.

* * * * *

KNOCK KNOCK.  "House keeping.  You want mint for pillow?"  I said as I
knocked on the door of the VIP lounge.  Peter came and opened up, and I
found the guys sitting on the couches inside.  I found a spot next to
Justin, and sat down, popping into the conversation now and then.  JC was
amazingly awake, Chris looked moderately chipper, Lance looked a lot better
than he did the other day, and Justin... well, poor Justin.  I guess
mornings just weren't his style.  I grabbed his shoulder and gave him a
side hug, saying, "GOOD MORNING!" really close to his ear.  He slapped his
hands around wildly, trying to stop the loud stimulus, without much
success.

"Buh!" was his only response.  An airline representative popped his head in
the lounge door and announced that the group could begin boarding when they
were ready.  All the guys jumped up and grabbed their carry-on---except
Lance.  He just sat on the couch, looking sullen.  I walked over to him and
gave him a hand to help him up.  He smiled faintly, but I knew this had to
be as hard for him as it was for me.

"Billy, you've been great," Peter said as he reached out his hand for a
shake.  I accepted it, and he pulled me into a hug.  The rest of the guys,
one-by-one, said their good-byes and gave me a hug.  Afterwards, they each
filed through the door and through the tunnels to the gate.  Finally, it
was Lance's turn.

"I don't know what to say, Billy," Lance said as his eyes began to water
up.

"How about 'see ya soon'?"  I answered, hoping it was true.

"I'm going to miss you so much.  I will promise to call you and write you.
I WILL let you know what's going on!"  He handed me a folded piece of paper
which he informed me had his personal phone numbers and home address.  When
he handed me the paper, his hand remained, locking with mine.  A gentle
tear must have been rolling down my face, because he lifted my finger up to
wipe it off.  He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me, giving
me the last hug I'd receive from him for a while.  It had to be short, or
else the other guys would get suspicious.  After breaking the hug, he
reached up and carefully grabbed my face, saying,

"I love you so much, Billy Wilson.  I LOVE you."  The passion of his words
rang through my head like a shot.  He said he 'loved me'!  He'd never said
that before, and I don't think I'd ever said that to him.  My stomach got
butterflies when I thought about the statement he just made.  I wanted to
return the same message to him!

"Oh Lance, I lo.........  Um,...... I...  What I mean is, I..."  The words
were there in my head.  They wanted to come out, but something prevented
them.  What was wrong with me?  Lance released his grip on my face and
watched intently for some explanation of why I couldn't say these three
simple words.  "I don't know why I can't say it, Lance.  I've always
considered 'love' to be a permanent, long-term thing.  I can't just go
around telling everybody that I love them!  It wouldn't mean anything!"  My
eyes got big as I realized that I didn't mean what I said to come out that
way.  Lance's face took on a look of shock.

"Come on, Lance," Peter said, sticking his head in the door as I stuck my
foot in my mouth.  "You're going to be late!"  With that, he was gone.

"Oh.  I see how it is," Lance said, totally dejected.  He grabbed his bags
and with that, he was gone, too.

"Wait, Lance!  Wait!  That didn't come out right!  I didn't mean that!"  I
was finally able to speak after removing the shoe from my mouth.  But Lance
had already left the VIP lounge.  What have I done?  I've turned away the
one person in my life that I really cared about.  I've just totally
rejected the guy that's meant more to me than anything else in my life.
I've just pushed away the man that I love.  I love.  The man that I LOVE.
I love Lance.  I love him!  I love Lance more than anything.  Oh my gosh, I
do!  I really do!  I LOVE LANCE!

I took off out the door, looking both ways for Lance.  It was at this point
that I discovered that I didn't know where their departure gate was.  An
indescribable horror came over me as I realized Lance might leave on this
sour note.  NO!!!!!  My heart rate quickened, and I took off to the right.
I knew there were only about four gates this direction, so I scanned
thoroughly for Lance or the guys.  No sign of them anywhere.  I got to the
first gate of the terminal, becoming more panicked.  Had they already
boarded?  Or was the gate farther down the terminal?  I could feel my eyes
begin to water up as I started running down the other direction, and my
vision began to get blurry as I tried desperately to find Lance.  I was
screaming inside, scared that Lance might actually have this as his last
memory of me.  I had passed the first four gates and proceeded three more
without any success.  I began running through the seating areas by the
gates, searching for any sign of the band or Lance.  I was truly starting
to lose hope until... OOOF!

I crashed into someone walking, and it threw him off balance.  I couldn't
stop though, because I HAD to find Lance!  So, I just yelled behind me,
"Sorry! I'm sorry!"  As I kept running, though, I heard that voice again.

"Billy!"  This time, I knew the voice well.  I turned around and, sure
enough, Lance was standing in front of me.  Do you believe in deja vu?  My
heart cried in relief, and I ran back to him.  However, we were now in the
main terminal area, with about 30 spectators.  I dragged Lance behind the
ticketing agent's booth, where we were shielded from the crowd.  I couldn't
stop the outpouring of words.

"Lance I'm so sorry I don't know why I didn't say what I wanted to say but
I know how you feel about me and I know how I feel about you and I really
wanted to tell you what I had on my mind but I just couldn't say it and
then you left and I couldn't find you and themnpfht..."  My never-ending
sentence was halted as Lance's finger pressed on my lips.  I took a deep
breath and looked into his eyes.

"I love you, Lance.  I LOVE YOU.  I realized that just now.  Not just an
'eh, love ya'... I do love you with all my heart and all my mind, and I
never want to let you go.  I LOVE YOU."  Lance reached up and grabbed my
shoulders, gave them a squeeze, pulled me close, and planted a quick loving
kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you, Billy.  That means so much to me, you don't even know."  His
eyes had watered up again, and a few tears began rolling down his face.

"I'm going to miss you Lance."

"I'm going to miss you more."

"And YOU'RE going to miss your flight if you don't get going."  A strange
voice had spoken, and we both looked over at Justin standing near us, with
a concerned smile on his face.  Lance quickly wiped the tears from his
eyes, and we blubbered for a few seconds trying to come up with an excuse.
Justin just said, "Come on... Do *I* need excuses here?  Gimmie your
stuff."  Justin reached over and grabbed Lance's carry on luggage, and
walked around the corner, giving me a wink as he disappeared.  We turned
back to each other, and hugged our last hug goodbye.

"Goodbye, Billy."

"G'bye, Goof."

"I'll make this work.  Trust me."

"I do trust you.  We'll make this work, one day at a time."

Lance walked around the corner, and I followed shortly thereafter.  I
watched as my boyfriend walked towards the ticket agent where both Peter
and Justin were standing.  The tickets were arranged, and Peter grabbed his
stuff, seemingly oblivious to the situation.  Lance turned to look at me as
he slowly walked backwards down the ramp.  Even from a distance, I could
see both the love and sadness in his perfect, teary eyes.  His head finally
dropped and his body turned to walk forward, and I watched as Lance slowly
walk away.  Justin was right by his side, putting a comforting arm around
his shoulders and pulling him close.  My last memory of Lance was of him
and Justin walking onto the aircraft and disappearing from my sight---and
from my life... for now.....

			     *   *   *   *   *

*Please continue looking for Twist of Fate, because I'm not done yet!  We
are still going strong!  Again, happy 10th Anniversary, everybody.  I'm
looking forward to #20!!

*As always, if you have any comments about the story, send them to:
kaiser_goof@hotmail.com
~Jeff