Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2001 19:52:10 -0500
From: JM Stories <jm_stories@yahoo.com>
Subject: Vignette 2

Okay, so this story didn't turn out to be the short one-off that I
intended. You asked for more. You got it. Here's the second chapter of
"Vignette One." Rest assured that the events in this story only happened
in my twisted head.

---------------------
vignette one
by jm_stories

Chapter 2

I was a little startled by the body wrapped around my front when I woke
up. I opened my eyes and it took a few seconds before I remembered where
I was and who I was with. This is interesting. Last night was fun, but I
don't know if I want to start a relationship with him. I'm not sure if
he really wants to have a relationship with me, or if it was just the
alcohol talking. I'm the first guy he's been with, though, so I'm sure
he feels really close to me. I still remember what that's like and I
still have feelings for Rob. Wasn't meant to be, though.

Justin's so snuggly. It's nice. It's been about a year since I've been
with anyone and I'd forgotten just how nice it is to sleep and wake with
someone. I probably could fall for him, but I don't think I want to.
We're too different. I can't stand his music genre at all. It wouldn't
be right to date him if I had such contempt for his career. I don't want
to hurt him, either. If only he had a different career and lived in
Chicago. Yea, that's probably selfish, but I don't want to live in
Florida. I enjoy the seasons. Maybe if I could stand his music, and he
moved to Chicago -- then it could work. Neither is gonna happen.

Justin stirred and rubbed his face with his hand as he rolled off me and
sat up. "Morning," he said in a gravely voice and stared off into space,
looking shell shocked.

"Morning."

He sat there for a minute and then shivered before stretching and
yawning. "Hung over?"

"No. I don't think so. Just need a cup of coffee and I'll be fine. You?"


"Just a slight headache," Justin said and then turned back to face me.
"You don't regret last night, do you?"

"What happened last night?" I asked, straight-faced.

"You know..."

I shrugged.

"You're kidding? You don't remember..."

I smiled.

"Bastard. I should have known," he groaned and slapped my belly.

"Yea, you should have. I'm naked in bed with you. I don't regret it. Do
you?"

"Not in the least. I'm kinda hoping we can do more," he smiled.

"What time is it?"

Justin leaned over me and grabbed his watch off the night stand.
"Half-past noon. We've still got five-and-a-half hours before you need
to be back."

"That was an absolute latest. Don't you have to be somewhere tonight?"

"Yea. I'm supposed to be at my mom's around seven. Plenty of time."

"Okay. Well right now I need to take a piss, and we're not doing
anything until we brush our teeth. I don't know about you, but my mouth
isn't very tasty right now," I grimaced.

"Come on," Justin said and climbed off the bed, pulling me with him. We
walked across the hall to the bathroom.

"Do you want to do more today?" Justin asked as we were pissing.

"Um...I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because if we do then we'll have to rush. If it's gonna be your first
time for most of it you shouldn't have to rush."

"Aw. That's so sweet of you," he smiled.

I rolled my eyes. "Queen."

"Not likely. Anyway. Do you have to go back the day after Christmas? Do
you have to work?"

"I'm off work through New Year's. I'm engineering a band New Year's Eve,
though, and I've gotta be at a poetry reading on the 28th."

"Why do you have to be at a poetry reading?"

"'Cause the poetry magazine I help publish is giving it."

"Gotcha."

We finger brushed our teeth and went back to the bedroom. The house was
still quiet, so I don't think anyone else was up yet. I got dressed in
my clothes from last night and Justin pulled some clean clothes out of a
duffel bag to get dressed.

After we were dressed we went downstairs to the kitchen. Justin put on a
pot of coffee and I stepped outside onto the patio. It was a nice sunny
afternoon and not too hot. A few minutes later Justin came out with the
coffee and we sat down at the patio table.

"Man, it's a beautiful day," Justin said.

"Yea."

"So...I know this sounds weird and you'll probably think I'm being
freaky, but how about if I go up to Chicago with you? I mean, we don't
have any performances for New Year's and I don't have anything I have to
be at. We can spend some time together before we both have to go back to
work," Justin said quickly.

"Ride with me?"

"Yea. It would be easier and safer if you didn't have to drive all that
way alone."

"How would you get back?"

"Fly. I mean, it's not a big deal or anything, but we both kinda have
some time right now and with being in different cities and both working
I don't know when we'd be able to get together again and...and I'd like
to do more with you. I'd like to get to know you."

"Great. Now if I say 'no' I'll sound like a total asshole."

"Um, sorry. I won't think that. I know we just met and all and it's
probably weird for you. It's definitely weird for me, but carpe diem,
and all that."

"Okay. Well let me tell you how I feel and then you can change your mind
if you want. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I don't think I want to have a relationship with you. At least not an
intimate one. I think the distance would be a problem, as well as that I
don't like your music. We'd eventually start to resent each other. I'm
also not into the 'friends with benefits' crap."

"Oh," Justin said a bit disappointed.

"But, at least for the next week or two, we could try an intimate
relationship. Maybe like dating, but understanding that it will end when
we go back to our lives. Then if we decide to still be friends, great.
If not, so be it."

"Okay. How's that different than 'friends with benefits?'"

"We won't have sex again after we part. I'm not going to save myself for
when you get some time away and I don't expect you to save yourself."

"So you do like me, but just don't want to get involved in my life?"
Justin smiled, hopefully.

"I wouldn't have stayed the night or showered with you if I hated you. I
would have just left after the blow-job."

"That's not how we started out."

"No, but the same with you. Maybe we just needed a little time to get to
know each other without actually knowing each other -- if that makes any
sense at all."

"Yea. It does. So, um, if that's all you're concerned about, then I'd
still like to come with you. If that's okay."

"What the hell. Carpe diem," I smiled.

"Cool," Justin smiled and sat back in his chair.

"So should I pick you up at your place, or are you going to meet me at
my father's house?"

"Um, my place is kinda out of your way. I mean, you're probably gonna
take the turnpike to 75, right?"

"Yea."

"I can't really leave my car at your father's. How about if you pick me
up here?"

"That'll work. I want to hit the road by 7AM."

"7AM? Why so early?"

"It's a long drive. I'd like to get home by midnight, if possible. It
may take longer if the weather is bad."

"Yea, okay," Justin said hesitantly.

"Changing your mind?" I smiled.

"No. I just hate early mornings -- especially when I'm on vacation."

"Well you can sleep the first few hours, then."

"You can count on it. Are you a morning person?"

"Only when I'm still up from the night before and getting ready for
bed," I smiled.

"Good. Why don't we leave Christmas night?"

"Because we'll have been up all day. If you really want to die in a car
crash when the driver falls asleep, you'll have to find another driver."

"Yea. Hadn't thought of that. How cold is it up there?"

"It was 15¡F when I left. I wouldn't plan on it being any warmer. Do you
have any winter clothes?"

"Yea. I've got some somewhere. I think I'm gonna have to buy a jacket,
though. Will we be outside much?"

"Probably. I take the EL or walk as much as I can."

"Do you have any roommates?"

"Not exactly."

"Huh?"

"I have my own space, but everyone visits or whatever. You'll see when
we get there."

"You're not seeing anyone, though, are you? I mean, I'm not gonna cause
a problem with anyone?"

"If I was seeing someone we wouldn't have done what we did last night. I
don't sleep around."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Just asking. When's the last time
you were dating anyone?"

"You're all questions this morning," I teased.

"I'm trying to get to know you."

"Fair enough. My last relationship ended last February. He was the third
person I've been with. What about you?"

"I've never had a relationship with a guy. My last try at being straight
ended about eight months ago. I don't really know how many girls I've
fucked while on the road. Not in the hundreds, but more than 20. I was
always safe, though. I've had two guys suck me off on tour, but that's
it -- well, before you."

"What made you finally give up on trying to be straight?"

"I don't know. Lots of little things. A good friend finally got a
boyfriend a few months ago and I've been able to see them together. I
see how much happier he is. I don't know, really. It just...it just got
too hard to ignore."

I smiled.

"What?"

"Too HARD to ignore?" I smirked.

"Perv! Yea, that too!"

"You said it. Very Freudian of you."

"Yea, well, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

"And the rest of the time it's something else. Anyway, so last night was
just the right timing with everything for you to do more? You'd planned
on getting laid last night?"

"Right timing, yea, but I didn't really plan on getting laid. I would
have been more prepared. It was being really horny, and then dancing
with you in the dark and all the other people just feeling and humping
on each other all around us. Damn, that was hot," Justin sighed lustily.

"Without a doubt. Well. Um, I need to get Alex's car back and you need
to go shopping for a winter coat before the stores close."

"Wanna go with me?" Justin asked hopefully.

"Sorry. I hate shopping. Even more so around Christmas. If you leave now
you just may be able to even reach the store before six with all the
last minute shoppers."

"Yea. Great. A perfect chance to be mobbed... Security is off. Hmm...
I'm sure I have a winter jacket somewhere. I'll just have to go home and
dig. If not, maybe Joe has one I can borrow," Justin thought aloud.

"Okay. So 7AM on the 26th?"

"I'll be here and ready, but I'm not promising awake," Justin said.

"Okay. Well. See you then," I said and got up to go.

"I can't wait. See ya," Justin said and gave me a quick hug and kiss
goodbye.

I left through the gate and walked out to Alex's car. I was just about
to pull away when I heard Justin yell and saw him running for the car.

"Miss me already?" I smirked.

"If you wanna believe that," Justin smiled. "Truth is that I forgot to
get your number."

"Oh, yea. I guess that would make things easier," I said and started
digging through Alex's car for a pen. I finally found one at the bottom
of the glove compartment. I wrote my cell number on the back of his hand
and let him write his on the back of mine. He gave me a grin and ran
back to the house and I drove to my father's house.

*

"Hey, man. 'Bout time you got back. You hook up with someone?" Alex said
as I tossed him his keys.

"Did I miss anything?" I asked, purposefully ignoring his question.

"Don't dodge the question," Alex smiled.

"Yes, I did hook up with someone. No, I'm not going to tell you who it
was."

"It was Timberlake, wasn't it?"

"Oh yea. Not only him, but all of 'NSYNC. We had an orgy in the front
yard. I fucked all of them at least twice and they were begging for
more, but I couldn't go on and had to come home," I smirked.

"A simple 'no' would have sufficed."

*

Christmas with the family was...okay. Per usual, Dad stayed in his
office for most of it. Alex, Chris (my middle brother) and I had a
decent time shootin' the shit and watching old Christmas TV shows.
Thankfully, it's over. I went to bed early so I could get up the next
morning.

* [dec26]

I filled my thermos with coffee and filled my cup before heading for
home. I hadn't talked to Justin since two days ago and totally forgot
about picking him up as I headed in the wrong direction. I was about to
pull on to OBT when I saw a poster of 'NSYNC in a record store window
and cursed myself for forgetting. I'd left a little early so he wouldn't
even notice me being late. I turned around and went back to pick him up.
I pulled into Joe's driveway and saw Justin leaning against a car with
his arms folded and his chin on his chest. He jumped when I pulled in
and looked like he was still asleep.

"Hey, Jason," Justin said sleepily.

"Mornin'. Made it up, huh?" I smiled.

"I'm sleepwalking."

"Okay. Let's throw your bags in the trunk and hit the road."

"How are you? How was your Christmas?" Justin asked as we pulled out of
the driveway.

"It was typical. I've got some coffee in the thermos if you want some."

"Maybe later. I'm gonna sleep now, if you don't mind."

"Nope. Go ahead and sleep so you can drive later."

"Okay," he mumbled, put the seat back and got comfortable.

* [dec27]

I drove until Atlanta, and then Justin drove until Cincinnati. I took
over after that and drove the rest of the way. The weather turned bad
around Indianapolis and stayed that way -- sometimes I could hardly see
the road. We finally pulled into the garage around 3AM. I pulled into my
spot, turned off the car and reached over to wake Justin up.

"Hey, man. We're here," I said and shook his shoulder.

He groaned and stretched, looking around. "What time is it?"

"Three. I hope you wanted to see snow, 'cause we've got lots of it."

"I've seen it. As long as I don't have to shovel it. We in a garage?"

"Yea. Let's head up," I said and got out. I opened the trunk and pulled
our bags out. Justin took his and I took mine over to the freight
elevator. I pulled down the gate, put in my key and hit the button for
the third floor.

"You usually use the freight elevator?" Justin asked.

"It's the only one. Usually I take the stairs unless I'm carrying
something."

We got to the third floor and I started down the hall.

"You live here?" Justin asked.

"Yea. Why else would we be here?"

"I don't know. It looks like we're in a warehouse."

"We are. I'll explain it in the morning. Come on," I said and unlocked
my door. I walked in, triggering the lights, and waited for Justin to
wander in before locking the door behind me. "Take off your shoes."

"This place if fuckin' cool," Justin said as he looked around my condo
after removing his shoes at the door.

"Thanks. Just drop your stuff anywhere for now. I'm gonna wash up and
then crash," I said and went to the bathroom. I did my business and
climbed up the ladder to the loft. I dropped my clothes and was about to
get into bed. The coolness of the room reminded me that I needed to turn
the heat back up.

"Hey, Justin. Can you turn up the heat before you come up? Just hit the
'Run Program' button."

"Where's the thermostat?" Justin called.

"To the left of the ladder."

"Okay. I'll get it."

"Thanks," I said and crawled under the covers, shivering. Justin climbed
up a few minutes later.

"I really like your place. It's so cool."

"Yea. Come get in bed and warm me up. We can talk and explore in the
morning."

"Okay. How do I turn off the lights?"

"Give them a minute and they'll shut off. They're on a motion sensor."

"Cool." He dropped his clothes and quickly got into bed. "I should say
cold," he shivered.

"It'll be warm in a hour or so. Night," I mumbled and was out as I felt
him snuggle around me.

* [dec27]

I awoke to the sound of the phone ringing and Justin draped across my
chest. I let the machine get it.

"Hey, man. It's CJ. You back yet? Probably still sleeping. Call me when
you wake your sleepy ass up. The PA for tomorrow is a no go. We've gotta
find another one. Any ideas? Call me."

"Who's CJ?" Justin mumbled without moving his head from my chest.

"A friend that I publish the poetry mag with. Fuck. I don't know where
we can get a PA this late. Everything is booked. Fuck," I grumbled and
rolled out from under Justin.

"Chicago is a big city. There's gotta be someone who has one," Justin
said.

"Probably, but not what we need. We don't need some $500+ a night system
for a band in a big club. It's just a poetry reading. Just voice and
some recorded music. We also don't have that kind of money," I said and
climbed down to call CJ back. I grabbed the phone and turned up the
thermostat while I was waiting for him to answer so it would be more
comfortable to walk around naked.

"Talk to me," CJ answered.

"Hey, man. What the hell happened to the PA?" I asked as I walked to the
kitchen to make some coffee.

"Well, at least you said 'hey' first," CJ joked. "A water line was
leaking and ran all over the amp. Fried it."

"Why doesn't she just buy a new amp?"

"She has to fix the water leak first," CJ chuckled.

"Fuck," I sighed.

"I know. I talked in circles with Mary for at least an hour. The
furthest I got was that she was gonna order a new one in time for New
Year's."

"We need to find another place to hold these things. I'm tired of her
dis'in' us. Have you called around yet?"

"Yea. No one has anything."

"Okay. Let me think... It's gonna be at least fifty people, right?"

"Hopefully at least fifty."

"We need something. We can't have them just project."

"Anton may be able to, but can you see Sarah or Marc?"

"How about a megaphone?"

"If you can find one, but the sound sucks. It'll seem like everyone is
screaming."

"Yea. Don't want that... Is only the amp fried?"

"As far as I know. Why?"

"How about we hook your stereo up to the board and use your speakers?"

"My stereo?!"

"You have a better solution?"

"Yea. Your stereo."

"My speakers are bolted to the walls."

"You're not gonna blow it up, are you?"

"I can try, if you want."

"Yea, thanks," CJ said sarcastically. "I guess my stereo, then. So how
was Xmas with the 'rent?"

"Typical. He was in his office most of the time. Alex and Chris are
doing good. Went to a pretty cool party."

"Meet anyone?"

"Whole bunch of people, actually."

"You know what I'm asking."

"Yea. I did meet someone. Kinda. He's here now."

"You sly dog, you. What's he like? What do you mean 'kinda?' It's about
time," CJ rambled.

"I meant 'kinda' in the way that he's doesn't live in Chicago. We're not
getting married yet, so put away the tux."

"Okay. Okay. What's he like? When do we get to meet him?"

"Down boy," I laughed. "You sure you're not gay? You're getting just a
bit too excited about this."

"I'm just happy for you. You haven't seen anyone since Jacob, have you?"

"Nope."

"So when do we get to meet him?"

"I don't think he's ready to meet the folks, yet," I smirked.

"We've gotta check him out. Make sure he's good enough."

"It's just a temporary situation. We've both agreed because of the long
distance and jobs."

"Okay, but he did come up to Chicago. I wouldn't leave sunny Florida to
spend time with your sorry ass in the winter in Chicago."

"You don't know what you're missing," I teased back.

"I'll take your word. So when do we get to meet him?"

"You don't."

"Aw. Don't be like that. Laura and I will be right over," CJ said and
hung up before I could say anything.

"We're about to have company," I said as I shut off the phone.

"Your friend?" Justin asked.

"Yea, and his wife. If you run right now, you might get away."

"I'll survive. Where are your coffee cups?"

"Cabinet behind you," I said and got out the sugar and creamer. Justin
poured two cups of the coffee and we each added our own extras.

"Brown sugar?" Justin asked.

"Yea. It's not as sweet as white sugar. Tastes different. It's good. Try
it."

"You get weirder by the minute," Justin smirked.

"You don't know the half of it," I smiled back.

"I'm starting to get an idea."

"Yep. I'm the weird one. Alex is the social one, and Chris is the
business one."

"Chris is your other brother?"

"Yep."

"You guys close?"

"We get along and talk occasionally. I wouldn't say we're close, but we
don't dislike each other."

"That's cool. So how'd you get such a killer apartment?" Justin asked
and sat down at the dining area table.

"Knew the right people. I have some friends who are architects. They got
together and bought this warehouse, did the basics and sold off the
spaces."

"What basics? It doesn't look like it's done."

"There's more to do to the common areas. They fixed all the windows, ran
the electric, water and sewer for each space and put in radiant floor
heating that heats the whole building."

"So that's why the floor is warm. It's pretty nice."

"Yea. It's great. Especially in the bathroom. So, anyway, when I bought
the place about two years ago, it was just a big room with mechanicals
hanging out of the wall and floor. I've been doing what I can as I can
to make it more livable. Bathroom and kitchen were first, obviously,
then the loft. I kinda like it in a state of perpetual construction,
though. I can try different things."

"You've done all of this?"

"Yea. With some help."

"That's cool. I can't build shit."

"Have you tried?"

"Not enough time. It's easier to just have it done."

"Probably, but you don't learn anything that way. All you need to do is
get a book, take your time, and do it. The mechanicals were already
roughed in, so it's been pretty easy."

"If you say so."

"We'd better get dressed. They should be here any minute," I said.

"Do I have anything to worry about?"

"I don't know. Do you?"

"I mean, can they be trusted?"

"Trusted with what? They're just coming over to see who I'm dating."

"We're dating?" Justin smiled.

"Well, yea, kinda. For a little while, anyway."

"Okay," he smiled broadly. "I guess I'm coming out a little today."

"You aren't out?"

"No. Only the guys know."

"Alex knew."

"No he didn't."

"Yea he did. He told me after you accosted me at the party. He wanted to
know if we were gonna hook up."

"Really? What did you tell him?"

"I told him I thought you were an ass and you could find someone else to
suck your dick."

"Ate those words, didn't you?" Justin teased.

"So to speak. Now as much as I like your ass, get dressed." I said and
climbed up to the loft to get dressed. I'd just pulled on a shirt when
the doorbell rang and CJ beat on the door at the same time. "Chill," I
yelled as I went to get the door.

"Come on in, asshole. Hey, Laura," I said as I opened the door.

"Fuck you, too, Jase," CJ said and punched me in the arm lightly.

"Hi, Jason. Where's this new guy of yours who followed you back from
Florida?" Laura grinned.

"Jeez. You'd think I was a fifty-year-old virgin who just brought home
his first date," I groaned.

"You were getting there. Almost a year," CJ teased as he kicked off his
shoes.

"Well? Where is he?" Laura asked as we walked to the living area.

"Getting dressed. We just got up."

"Uh, huh," CJ grinned. "Just got up, or just went down?"

"Just woke up, perv."

Justin took that moment to climb down from the loft.

"This is Justin, guys. Justin, this is CJ and Laura," I introduced.

"This is a different look for you, Jase, but he's cute. Hi, I'm Laura,"
Laura smiled and reached out to shake Justin's hand.

"Justin. So do I pass the initial inspection?" Justin smirked.

"We'll see," Laura said coyly.

"Hey, man. CJ," he said and shook Justin's hand.

"You guys want some coffee?" I asked.

"Yea. That'd be great. Thanks," CJ said.

"Have a seat and start the inquisition. Remember that we've only known
each other for three days, so take it easy," I said and went to get more
coffee. They all sat down in the living area.

"So how did you meet?" Laura asked Justin.

"In Subway," Justin said at the same time I said, "At a party."

"Okay. A party at a Subway," CJ put together.

"No. The first time we met was at a Subway. We ran into each other again
at a party the next night -- totally by coincidence," Justin explained.

"We hated each other at first," I added.

"What happened?" CJ asked.

"Um...You want to explain it?" Justin turned to me.

"Um...Let's just say it started out with some intimate dancing and
progressed to naked in a pool before we knew who the other person was,"
I answered and handed CJ and Laura their coffee.

"It was dark," Justin explained.

"I'm sure there's a great story there, but I don't think my straight
ears want to hear the details," CJ joked.

"That's okay. We made a video," I smiled.

"Okay, pervs. So what do you do, Justin?" Laura asked, moving things
past the sex talk.

"Um, I'm a performer," Justin said shot me a look that said, 'do they
really not recognize me?'

"Anything we would have seen you in?" CJ asked.

"You do look kinda familiar," Laura added.

I burst out laughing. "Don't say a word, Justin. Let them figure it
out."

Justin just smiled. "So tell me about Jason."

"Be kind," I warned and got up to put on some music.

"Jason. Hmmm. He's hard to describe," CJ said dramatically.

"Jase is very intelligent and very independent," Laura said.

"And stubborn. And a workaholic."

"You left out 'asshole,'" I added.

"I'm sure he's already figured that out," CJ shot back. "Anyway, despite
being a sarcastic bastard, he's someone you can count on and he's and
passionate about everything he does -- even if he tries not to show it."

I finally decided on Tom Waits' "Bone Machine" and put it in the CD
player. I turned it down low enough so we could still talk, and sat down
next to Justin.

"This 'Bone Machine?'" CJ asked as I sat down.

"Yea. I thought it would be pretty in sync with the conversation," I
smiled and Justin rolled his eyes.

Laura caught it and looked at me, then at Justin.

"You know who?" CJ asked her.

"Can't be," Laura said and shook her head.

"Can't be what?" CJ prodded.

"In sync. Justin. Performer. Orlando." Laura spelled out.

They both looked back at Justin. Justin smiled.

"Oh Jase, man, tell me it ain't so. You haven't gone pop have you?" CJ
said in mock horror.

"Huh?" I asked.

"He's made it clear he hates the group's music," Justin said.

"No offense," CJ covered.

"None taken."

"Okay. Why Jase? Shouldn't you be dating someone like Heath Ledger or
something?" CJ asked.

"Not since the restraining order," Justin smiled. "That's a joke," he
added after they looked at him like he was serious.

"I'm his first. Recruitment is going well this year," I joked.

"You still in the closet?" Laura asked Justin.

"Publicly, yea."

"Then your secret is safe with us -- unless you fuck Jase over. In which
case all bets are off."

"Down girl," I teased.

"So why Jase?" CJ repeated.

"Why not? I'm also still waiting for that autograph," Justin said and
shot me a grin.

"Hell. If I knew that was all it was gonna take," I smiled.

They finally eased up on Justin and we sat around shootin' the shit for
another hour before I politely asked them to get lost.

"I like your friends. They're slightly nuts, too," Justin said after CJ
and Laura had left.

"Slightly?"

"With the people I'm usually around, the bar for completely nuts is
pretty high."

"I'll take your word. Wanna take a shower?"

"If you're gonna take one with me," Justin smiled.

"Oh, I suppose," I sighed dramatically and pulled off my shirt.

"You can't fool me. Something is giving you away," Justin laughed and
pointed to my slightly tented sweats.

"Now how did that happen?" I smiled. "I'm probably gonna need some help
fixing it," I added and dropped my sweats.

Justin quickly stripped and walked over to me. "How about I beg you to
fuck my tight virgin ass," he said seductively and slid his hand across
my belly.

I went from half-hard to fully erect almost instantaneously.

"It appears to be fixed now," Justin smirked and walked off to the
bathroom.

"Bastard. Just for that I'm gonna make you cum so hard you'll pass out,"
I said as I followed him.

"Promise?"

"I'll do my best," I said and turned on the shower.

"I'm gonna hold you to that. I brought condoms and KY. Actually prepared
this time."

"What for? I thought we were just going to sit around and read passages
from the Bible until the Holy spirit consumes us," I said as seriously
as I could.

"I bet you don't even have a Bible," Justin said as he climbed in.

"What would you like to bet?"

"Never mind."

"Good thinking."

"I believe it's my turn to wash you first," Justin smiled and held up
the soap.

"Go for it," I said and assumed the position.

Justin washed me as I had washed him a few nights ago. I think he was
more excited by it than I was -- not that I wasn't enjoying immensely.

"You want to cum now, or hold it for later," Justin whispered in my ear
as he held me close with his erection against the back of my balls.

"I can probably do both, but I don't want you too until later. Need all
the help I can get to make you pass out."

"Then you don't get to, either," he grinned and licked along my ear.

"Oh man, you're asking for it later."

"Counting on it. Now you can wash me so we can go have fun."

I washed him quickly and kinda roughly. I didn't want either of us to
cum yet. We turned the water a bit cooler to rinse and got out. After
drying off we climbed back up to the loft. Justin went to one of his
bags and pulled out a box of condoms and a large tube of KY.

"You really want me to take your virginity?"

"You're not taking. I'm giving, and so bad you can't even imagine. Even
if we aren't gonna last forever, I do like you and I wanna do everything
I've been missing, but have really wanted to do."

"You've never had anything up there? A dildo? Your finger?"

"My finger, and yours," Justin blushed.

"Aw. That's so cute," I teased.

"Whatever. So how do you wanna do it? Doggie style?"

"If you really want it so mechanical we can just go out and get you a
dildo."

"Um, no. You tell me what to do, then. First time. Remember?"

"Okay. Come here," I said and took the KY and condoms and put them on
the edge of the bed. I lay back and pulled him on top of me.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hi," I smiled back and stuck out my tongue to lick his lips. He giggled
and tried to catch my tongue in his mouth. We played like this and then
went straight to kissing. I moved my hands down his back and rubbed his
butt as we kissed. His hands were in my hair.

"I want you so bad," Justin whispered between kisses and ground himself
against me.

I broke the kiss enough to grab the tube of KY and squirted some on my
fingers. Justin looked back to see what I was doing and I leaned up to
kiss his jaw, pulling his attention back to the kissing. As we kissed I
slowly moved my lubed fingers to his hole. He gasped as I first touched
it, and dove into the kissing with renewed passion. Gently, I lubed his
hole and slid a single finger just inside. Justin tensed and arched up.

"Feels weird. Different than in the shower," he said.

"Yea. I'm gonna go slow," I said and leaned forward to kiss his nipples.
I lightly bit one of them and he practically fell on me and rammed back
on my fingers.

"Man. You have really sensitive nipples," I said in amazement at his
reaction.

"Yea, but never this sensitive. I almost came," Justin said
breathlessly.

"Cool. Any preference on how you want the initial penetration? Tell me
what you want."

"Uh...I think I read somewhere that it's supposed to be easier the first
time if I'm on my stomach with my hips raised. I think. Whatever you
think."

"We can do it your way to start. Once you get used to it, I prefer face
to face."

"Yea, okay. That sounds good," Justin said absentmindedly.

"And then I'm gonna fist you good and hard," I said to see if he was
actually listening to anything I said.

"Yea, okay. That sounds good," he repeated and closed his eyes with a
look of concentration.

I pulled my fingers out and rolled him on his back.

"What's wrong?" Justin asked and opened his eyes.

"Just bringing you back a little."

"Oh, yea. I'm so close."

"You want to put the condom on me?"

He answered by leaning up and ripping open the box. His hands were
shaking anxiously as he ripped open a package. I took his hands in mine.

"Maybe I should do it."

"Yea, okay," he said and let go. I set the condom down and started
tickling him. We rolled around for a few minutes until we were out of
breath.

"Trying to slow me down?" Justin asked.

"Yep. This is supposed to be fun. Remember?"

"I know."

"Then don't look so serious," I teased and gave him a sloppy kiss on his
nose. I grabbed the condom again and prepared myself. Justin pulled his
legs up and held them under his knees.

"What about starting out the other way?"

"I wanna see your face."

"Good," I smiled and moved into position. I put the tip of my erection
at his hole and slowly pushed forward a little. He tensed up and there
was no way I would be able to get in if he didn't relax.

"Relax," I coaxed softly and rubbed his thighs.

"I'm trying."

"You can't try to relax," I smiled and had him loosen his grip on his
legs. I rubbed his stomach and chest. As I tweaked both his nipples he
jumped and I slid in just past the opening.

"Hold it. Hold it," Justin gasped.

"As long as you need me to," I comforted and continued to rub his chest.

"It hurts more than I thought it would."

"It'll start to feel good. You just have to get used to it." I leaned
forward enough to kiss him, careful not to go further into him. He
accepted the kiss hungrily. As we kissed I rubbed one nipple and slowly
slid all the way in. After about five minutes I was all the way in. I'm
glad I was going so slow for him because I would have cum ages ago if I
had gone any quicker. He was unbelievably tight and hot.

"Okay. You can go in a little more," Justin said breathlessly.

"How? I'm in all the way," I smiled.

"Good," he sighed. "I was hoping the tree trunk wouldn't get any
bigger," Justin half-chuckled.

"Pretty amazing, huh?"

"Yea. What?"

"Just how it always seems bigger when it's in your ass."

"Definitely."

"You ready for some movement?"

"I think so. Just go slow. Okay?"

"How's this?" I asked and slowly pulled back a couple inches, and then
pushed back in just as slowly -- brushing past his prostate in the
process.

"Uuuhhh," he moaned and arched his back. "I'm gonna piss. I'm gonna cum.
I'm gonna..."

"That's your prostate," I smiled and licked his nipple as I made another
slow thrust. His hands clutched at my sides and his head rolled back as
he arched again and squeaked.

"There's the squeak again," I teased and thrust a little harder.

"Don't...care..."

Through a miracle of will power, I kept my thrusts in control. I nibbled
on his nipples until he was pounding the bed with his fists and shaking
his head side to side. I don't know how he was holding out -- or how I
was, for that matter. I was getting very close, though. I bent him over
further and began thrusting into him with everything I had.

"Oh god...Oh god...Oh...I love you...so much...oh...I..." Justin moaned
and then arched his back hard, shooting cum over his head and then all
across his face and chest. He almost threw me off him, but I held on
tight and thrust a few more times into his spasming hole before I came.
Hard. He let his legs fall, which effectively pulled me out. I got rid
of the condom, collapsed on him and kissed him, tasting some of his cum
that was splattered across his face. We broke the kiss and just held
each other as we slowly came down.

"I didn't pass out," Justin smiled sleepily after a few minutes.

"You don't remember 'cause you were passed out."

"I believe you. That was...that was...wow," Justin sighed.

"I'm gonna have to agree with you on that. Wow."

"Let's get cleaned up. I hate having cum all over me," Justin said a few
minutes later, but made no attempt to move.

"Yea. I don't really care for it either. Cold and sticky. You want to go
get something to eat after we get cleaned up?"

"Food would be great."

I rolled off him and stood up, grabbing his hand and pulling him up with
me.

"Uh. Doesn't feel so good afterwards," Justin said as he climbed stiffly
down the ladder.

"Yea. I know. Kinda like an 'oh, I can't believe I ate the whole thing'
feeling," I joked.

"That's dead on. How long does it usually last?"

"For me, usually a couple hours. Sometimes a day before you stop being
aware of it."

Justin got to the bottom rung and let out a huge fart. He looked
embarrassed as hell.

"Don't worry about it. That happens sometimes, too. I think it's because
the motion shakes up your insides," I laughed.

"No one has ever mentioned that," he grumbled.

"Would you?" I smiled.

"Probably not. Good thing I don't have a performance tonight. I wonder
how Lance does it...um, I mean..." Justin started and then stopped when
he realized he had outted Lance.

"I already knew," I dismissed.

"Alex again?"

"As confirmation, but it's pretty obvious anyway."

"Is it obvious with me?"

"Only when you're naked," I smiled and turned on the water.

"How's that?"

"The pole you carry in front of you that doesn't ever seem to go away,"
I teased and gave his wood a light squeeze, pulling him into the shower.

*

"Is Indian food okay with you?" I asked as we were walking out the door.

"Yea, it's fine."

"Good. Ambar's is the closest restaurant."

"Damn. It's cold as hell," Justin grumbled as we stepped outside and we
were hit with a blast of icy air and snow.

"Let's walk fast so we can get inside," I said and pulled my collar up.

We were quiet as we quickly walked the six blocks to Ambar's. We stepped
inside and were instantly hit by a wave of heat and curry. Very nice.

"Hey, Raj," I said to the waiter.

"Hey, Jase. I'll be with you in a minute. Just have a seat," Raj said.

"You come here often?"

"Probably a couple times a month," I said and lead us over to a booth on
the side.

"It feels so good in here," Justin shivered as he pulled off his jacket.
He sat down and grabbed a napkin to wipe his nose.

I handed him his menu from behind the napkin holder.

"I don't know what any of this is. What's good?"

"All of it. Why would they put something bad on the menu?" I smirked.

"Dork. You know what I'm asking."

"Do you eat meat?"

"Yea. You don't?"

"No. Since you eat meat, you can order just about anything."

"Maybe I can get a hamburger," Justin smiled.

"Oh yea. Ordering beef would go over really well in an Indian
restaurant," I laughed.

"Or not," he continued. "You order for me. Surprise me," Justin said and
handed me his menu.

"Okay. How hot from one to six -- with six being fire and one being
water?"

"What do you usually get?"

"Depends. I'll probably do a five today."

"Okay. That'll work."

"You sure?" I asked.

"What? I like spicy food. If you can stand it, I can."

"Okay. Just so you understand that it will be spicy."

"Hey, guys. Know what you want?" Raj said as he walked up to the table.
I ordered for both of us and Raj went off to get our drinks.

"So what type of music to you like, since you don't like pop?"

"Lots of different things. Mostly indy rock and jazz. Some classical.
Motown, funk and soul if I'm in the right mood. As long as it's good and
not being crammed down my throat I'll give it a try."

"So you think pop is crammed down your throat?"

"That is basically the definition. Pop is about contrived songs to make
money. Marketing those songs to make money. Marketing the performers to
make money. Money."

"Nothing wrong with money."

"No, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to it. There're lots of
great bands and songs that rarely, if ever, get heard on the radio
because they don't have the money behind them. Turn on any pop station
and what do you hear? The latest and greatest ten songs that are being
pushed, with commercials in between, and repeat ad infinitum, ad
nausium. Do you listen to the pop stations?"

"No. I hate hearing our songs," Justin smiled.

"See?"

"Yea, I know. People just get sick of seeing and hearing us all the
time. There're also a lot of people who can't get enough of us."

"Obsessive compulsive disorder," I smirked.

"Most of the time," he agreed. "So what is your favorite song of all
time?"

"I don't think I have one. I don't even think I have one by style,
except maybe funk."

"What's the funk favorite?"

"'Papa's Got a Brand New Bag,' by James Brown. Can't be beat," I smiled.

"James Brown?" He smiled. "That's cool. I never would have guessed."

"How can anyone not dig James Brown?"

"I don't know."

"What's your favorite?"

"Same as you. I don't really have a single favorite song. It changes."

"Okay. Anything in particular you want to do in town while you're here?"

"Besides the obvious?" Justin smiled.

"Besides the obvious."

"Not really. Just hang out. Stay indoors."

"Fine. Put it all on me to keep you entertained," I laughed.

Justin's brow furrowed. "You don't have to keep me entertained. If I'm
that big of a hassle I can just go," he said seriously.

"Don't be like that. I'm sure you don't want to just sit around and
watch me do day to day crap for the few days you're here anymore than
I'd want to do the same with you. I'm talking about stuff we can go out
and do instead of just sitting around the house and fucking every five
minutes."

"What's wrong with that?" Justin smirked.

"We'd both be sore and it wouldn't be very good. What have you done
before when in Chicago?"

"Just the basics. Sears Tower, etc."

"Have you been to the Museum of Science and Industry over the holidays?"

"Nope. Haven't been there at all."

"Then we can do that today. They usually have a pretty spectacular
display for the holidays, and all the regular stuff is fun."

"Isn't it for kids?"

I gave him a big, goofy grin.

"I'm not a kid anymore," Justin huffed.

"Who cares? I was talking about me," I smiled.

"Oh. Okay."

"Sensitive subject?"

"Being marketed as a perpetual teen, yea."

"Maybe you just need to pick up a drug habit and have a few shoot-outs
with the police as you beat your 'ho'," I teased.

"Ahhh, no."

I let it go as our food arrived.

*

After lunch we caught the El to the Museum of Science and Industry.
Justin was suitably impressed and we had a ball playing with all the
science exhibits. We had dinner in town and then went to a blues bar for
a couple hours. It was a good day and we got back to my place at a
little past midnight.

"I hate cold," Justin grumbled as we unbundled.

"Makes you appreciate summer."

"You have anything hot to drink, besides coffee?"

"Yea. I can make some hot cocoa."

"Please."

"How about a hot shower first?"

"Perfect," Justin said and started for the bathroom, dropping his
clothes as he walked.

I dropped mine by the ladder to the loft and joined him in the bathroom.
The water was already running and he was waiting for it to heat up. He
turned to look at me as I walked in and his penis started to rise.

"Are you always hard?" I teased.

"Recently," he smiled and stepped into the shower.

I joined him under the water. We didn't do anything sexual other than
quickly washing each other. I think we were both pretty tired. I filled
the kettle and put it on a burner before climbing up to put on some
sweats and t-shirt. Justin had put on sweats and a sweatshirt. After I
was dressed I prepared the mugs with cocoa mix and a splash of cognac.

"You have any movies?" Justin asked from the living room as I was
waiting for the water to boil.

"A few. Cabinet under the TV."

I poured the mugs when the water was ready and brought them into the
living room as Justin was trying to figure out how to turn on the TV
with the DVD remote.

"What'd you put in?" I asked and turned the TV on with the correct
remote.

"X-Men."

I took the remote from him and pushed all the appropriate buttons to
start the movie, as well as turned on the stereo.

"Your system is too complicated," Justin grinned and grabbed his mug of
hot cocoa.

"Whatever. It works just fine when you use the correct remote," I said
and turned off the light.

We settled back and watched the movie. As soon as the hot cocoa was
gone, we snuggled together, lying on the sofa with Justin pressed back
into my front. I pulled a blanket over us and held him as the movie
progressed.

"Jason. Come on. Let's go to bed," Justin said as he shook my shoulder
to wake me. I'd, apparently, fallen asleep.

"Carry me," I smiled sleepily.

"If you had stairs like a normal person instead of a ladder, I would
have."

"It's only temporary, and I never claimed to be normal," I said sleepily
and sat up. A quick pit stop to the bathroom and we were in bed.

"Take off your clothes," Justin said and pushed me out of bed.

"Demanding bitch," I grumbled and pulled off my clothes before getting
back in bed.

"That's better," Justin smiled and pulled me around him as he snuggled
tight.

"Night," I said softly and gave him a quick kiss on the back of his
neck.

"Night," Justin said just as softly and squeezed my hand.

* [dec28]

I woke to the feeling of Justin's hand gently brushing across my chest.
I opened my eyes to see him propped up on his hand watching me. He
smiled when he saw I was awake.

"Morning," Justin smiled softly.

"Mornin'. How long have you been up?"

He shrugged. "Not very long. Just enjoying watching you sleep," he
smiled.

I rolled my eyes, playfully.

"Seriously. It's nice. Maybe this is typical for you, but I've never
done this before. Not the same, anyway. Girls don't feel as nice and
usually slap your hand away when you touch their chest. I usually kicked
them out before morning, anyway."

"I know. I'm just teasing you."

"I'll show you teasing," Justin said and rolled on top of me. He grabbed
my hands and held them over my head as he ground into me.

I faked a yawn.

"What!? You can pretend all you want, but I can feel how excited you
are," Justin laughed and wiggled against my erection.

"That? Oh, that's just 'cause I gotta take a piss," I smiled.

"Now that you mention it, so do I," he said and hopped up. "Come on," he
prodded as he pulled on some clothes.

We went to the bathroom and then I made some coffee while Justin toasted
some english muffins.

"Feeling better today?" I asked as we were finishing breakfast.

"You mean is my butt still sore?"

I nodded.

"Feels fine. I'm thinking we can do it again today," Justin smiled.

"I'm thinking that's good thinking," I grinned.

"And maybe I can even do you," Justin said hopefully.

"Maybe. If you're good," I teased.

"If I'm good?! Admit it. I'm the best you've ever had," Justin countered
with a smug grin.

"You give a great blow-job, but you're not the best. Sorry to burst your
bubble," I smirked.

"Who could possibly be better than me?" Justin teased.

"My last boyfriend. Jake."

"Jake? What is he? Some sort of body-builder? Jake. What a dorky name."

"It's short for Jacob."

"I know. Jacob is even worse. Sounds like someone from 'Children of the
Corn' or something."

"Whatever. Jake's not a body builder by any stretch of the imagination.
He's thin and kinda average looking. He's also one of the most
intelligent people I've ever met and a fuckin' fantastic writer and
composer."

"Is he famous? Should I know him?"

"He's well known around here, but not famous. He shies away from the
spotlight. I think he could easily be famous, but he doesn't want that."

"So why is he so good at sex?"

"'Cause he only makes love, at least he did with me. He's very attentive
and aware of his partner. He's just...I don't know. When we made love I
felt like I was the center of the universe," I smiled.

"Hero worship?"

"Maybe a little. I fell in love with his writing first."

"How long were you together?"

"Almost a year."

"It sounds like you're still in love with him. Why'd you break up?"

"I still love him. I don't think I'm still IN love with him."

"So why'd you break up?"

"I said some things that shouldn't have been said and really hurt him.
He told me to leave."

"What did you say?"

"None of your business."

"Hey. Just asking. Don't bite my head off."

"Sorry. I'm still a bit pissed off at myself for messing it up."

"That must be why CJ and Laura were so happy you were seeing me."

"Probably."

"What time is the reading tonight?"

"Starts at seven. Shouldn't be more than two hours, at most."

"Then we have plenty of time for me to take Jake's title of 'best
lover,'" Justin smiled.

*

I'll give Justin an 'A' for effort. He really tried and it was
wonderful. Given some more time, I think I probably could fall for
Justin. Against my will, I'm really starting to like having him around.

*

We left for the reading around six. It was a warm 28¡F out, but snowing
heavily. Mary Jane's was toasty warm and felt great as we burst in from
the blizzard outside. There were, maybe, twenty people here so far.

Jake was here already and sitting in a lounge chair going over what he
was going to read. He always got so tense before a reading, though you'd
never be able to tell it from his performance. He looked up at me and
gave me a soft smile before going back to his papers. I ordered two cups
of coffee from the bar.

"Who's that?" Justin asked. "Want to sit with him?"

"That's Jake."

"That's Jake?! You used to date him?" Justin whispered.

"Yea. Why do you say it like that?"

"Just that you're so much better looking. And what's with the acne? Is
he 15 or something?" Justin said like it was all a joke to him.

"He can't help the acne. Heredity. He'll probably have it all his life.
He's 30, and he's a better person than you'll ever be," I said, probably
a bit huffy.

"Chill, man. It's just...he ain't all that," Justin said and eyed Jake
like he was still competition.

"Well, you ain't all that, either. Take away your marketing machine and
you'd just be another white trash fag working at Disney."

"You can be a real prick, you know that?"

"I guess that's why you're here, 'cause you can be a real asshole," I
countered.

Justin paused and then smiled. "Good one."

"Thank you. I know Jake's not much to look at, but beauty fades."

"Yea, I know. It's what inside that counts. That doesn't mean that you
can ignore the outside."

"I know. He's not ugly. Once you get past his complexion -- which isn't
that bad -- he's nice. Not built, but what's there is toned. Great eyes.
Very nice...um, never mind."

"Very nice what?" Justin smiled.

"Never mind."

"Okay. So let's go sit with him. I'm guessin' that you get along since
he smiled at you."

"Why do you want to sit with him?"

"To find out if he's everything you say he is. You don't want to?"

"Not if you're gonna be a prick to him."

"Nope. I'm the asshole. Remember?" Justin smiled.

"Of course. Don't be an asshole to him either."

"I promise to behave."

"Okay," I sighed and we went over to the sofa near Jake. "Hey, man," I
said as we sat down.

"Hey," Jake said absentmindedly and didn't look up from his papers.

"Hi, Jake. I'm Justin," Justin said loudly.

Jake looked up quickly and a bit startled. "Hi," he smiled and went back
his papers.

"Not very friendly, is he?" Justin whispered to me.

"He gets nervous before a performance."

"He's reading?"

"Yep."

We finally got our coffee. Justin sat there while I went to set up the
mics. CJ burst in a few minutes later with a speaker in his arms. Laura
was behind him with the receiver and Anton, another performer, carrying
the other speaker.

"Next time we're using your system," CJ grumbled as he set his speaker
down on the edge of the small stage area.

"You bitch more than anyone I know," I said and took the receiver from
Laura.

"Do what you're good at," CJ smirked. "Where do you want the speakers?"

I spent the next ten minutes setting everything up and then put in a CD.
CJ checked with the performers and started to get ready. I got some more
coffee, checked on Justin, who was talking with some people, and then
went back to the sound board.

A few minutes later CJ went up to the stage and did the opening spiel
and introduced the first reader. I adjusted the level for the different
person and then sat back and listened. We had a pretty good crowd -- at
least 60 people. More than I expected on a snowy night a few days after
Christmas. I glanced at Justin a few times during the reading. He was
actually paying attention and listening. After the reading was over I
shut everything down and rejoined Justin.

"Hey. How'd you like it?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

"Hey. It was great. I know what you mean now about Jake's writing. It's
incredible and he performs it really well," Justin said happily.

"Told ya."

"Whatever. Does he have a book or something?"

"Yea. I'm sure he has some with him. If not we can stop by his place. He
lives in the same building."

"Really? Cool. You know no one here recognized me?"

"Probably not. This isn't exactly your target market."

"Neither are you, but you recognized me."

"Luck. I was also in Orlando. Anyone who could recognize you in your
proper setting wouldn't recognize you in this setting."

"Probably. It's still cool."

We sat there the rest of the night talking with people and each other.
Justin got a copy of Jake's book, complete with signature. He was almost
offended that Jake didn't recognize him even after he told him his name.
I had to explain that Jake didn't listen to pop stations or watch TV. I
could never get him to sit down in front of the TV when we were dating.
He'd watch a movie, but refused to watch regular TV. Probably a smart
thing, but I enjoy veg'ing in front of the TV every once in a while.

*

I was just about asleep when I heard a cell phone ringing. I tried to
ignore it, but it kept ringing. Justin was out cold and oblivious to it.
After ten minutes of it ringing, going to voice mail, and then ringing a
few seconds later, I rolled out of bed and dug through Justin's bag to
find it. I should have just shut it off, but whoever was trying to call
obviously needed to talk to him, so I answered it.

"Justin's phone," I said.

"Where the...! Who the fuck are you?! Why do you have Justin's phone?!"
The person at the other end of the phone yelled.

Oh boy. Someone's on the rag. "This is Jason. Who the fuck are you?" I
said in an overly pleasant voice.

"Where's Justin?"

"He's sleeping, just like I was."

"Wake him up and put him on!"

"You still haven't answered my question. Who the fuck are you?"

"Tell him it's Josh. Put him on, god damn it!" He demanded.

"Apparently in your delusions of self-importance, you've mistaken me for
your bitch. Try again like a human being," I said pleasantly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

"I've already answered that question. I should also add that I'm the one
who could just hang up and turn off the phone if you continue being such
a cunt."

I could hear him swearing in the background a minute before he got back
on.

"I'm sorry. PLEASE wake Justin and let him know Josh is on the phone and
needs to speak to him. PLEASE," Josh said evenly.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it? Just a minute," I smiled and walked
back over to the bed. I shook Justin's shoulder. "Justin. Wake up. You
have a call."

"Take a message," Justin mumbled sleepily.

"Probably not an option. It's Josh and he sounds like he's about to have
an aneurysm."

"Huh?"

"Josh. Very pissed off. Very rude. On the phone."

"Oh. Fuck," Justin sighed and held out his hand for his phone. I handed
it to him and crawled over him back to my side of bed and under the
covers.

"Hello?" Justin creaked into the phone.

I heard some yelling and Justin pulled the phone away from his ear until
it stopped.

"You done now?" Justin asked. "What's your problem?"

I heard another round of yelling. Justin looked at me and rolled his
eyes.

"You done?...Good...I don't need to tell you everywhere I go, Josh.
We're supposed to be on vacation...None of your business...He's a
friend...It doesn't matter what kind...Good, he shouldn't have because
you get too wound up...Yea, of course he knew..." Justin rolled out of
bed and paced the room as he talked. "Yea, Lance knew too...Well, maybe
they were thinking of me instead of themselves...Fuck off, Josh. You
really need to fuckin' pull your head out of your ass and get over
it...Yea, yea. I love you too. Now let me go to sleep and don't call
'till afternoon, and don't call at all if you're still going to be an
ass," Justin completed, turned off the phone and dropped it back in his
bag.

"Trouble?" I asked.

"Not really. Just Josh going off the deep end. I bet you could shove a
piece of coal up his ass and have diamonds in a day," Justin said as he
got back into bed.

"What was he so pissed about?"

"Me not telling him where I was going. Me not taking security with me.
Me being with you. Me."

"Okay... Why me?"

"Because it's okay with him that I'm gay, as long as I don't do anything
gay. He'll get over it. He acted the same way when Lance started dating
Aaron."

"Oh. I thought I was special," I teased.

"Oh, he had a few choice words about you. What did you say to him?"

"He was really demanding and rude when I answered the phone. I think my
exact words were, 'Apparently in your delusions of self-importance,
you've mistaken me for your bitch. Try again like a human being,'" I
grinned.

Justin burst out laughing. "Oh man, I wish I could have seen his face
when you said that."

"Well, his language was quite colorful until he realized I held all the
cards."

"I swear he's gonna explode one day. Ka-POW! All that will be left will
be the diamonds from his ass."

I started laughing. "Didn't Paul Simon do a song about that? 'Diamonds
in the crack of his ass?'"

"Hmm. May have to adjust that song for him," Justin smiled and then
burst out laughing.

"Seriously, is he gonna be sending out the FBI for you, or something?"

"No. I'll just tell him where I'm at tomorrow, and then call Joe and ask
him to lock him in a closet. Don't worry. I won't give the address.
Actually, I don't even know the address."

"Good. Last thing I want is a rabid pop star breaking into my
apartment."

"I remember you said that you thought Lance and I were cute, but you
never mentioned Josh. You don't think he's attractive?"

"Not even slightly."

"Really?"

"Yea. He doesn't do a thing for me. Do you remember Bowser from
Sha-Na-Na?"

"Uh, yea. Barely."

"Josh reminds me of him. Not a good thing. Why do you ask? Do you have a
crush on him?" I teased.

"Josh?! Hell no. Even if he was gay. Ew. No way."

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

"Trust me. I'm not protesting close to enough. I'm not attracted to any
of the guys, thankfully."

"Why thankfully?"

"It'd be weird 'cause we're together all the time. I know there are lots
of stories out there that pair us all together, but I can't imagine it
ever working in real life."

"Okay. Let's try to go back to sleep now."

"Why did you answer my cell?"

"Because it kept ringing. I was going to just ignore it but he kept
calling back. I figured it was probably an emergency."

"Okay. I shut it off so we won't have to worry."

"Good. Night," I said and gave him a quick kiss.

"Night," he said and laid his head on my chest, holding me close.

* [dec29]

I woke to the feeling of Justin gently brushing his thumb across my
nipple. I opened my eyes to find him propped up and watching me.

"Mornin'," Justin said softly.

"Morning. Been up long?"

"No. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Nope. Nature's call did that," I smiled and sat up.

"Oh. Power of suggestion," Justin groaned and rolled out of bed as well.

We quickly went to the bathroom, brushed our teeth, and shared a quick
kiss.

"I'm gonna make some coffee. What do you want to do today?" I asked.

Justin looked out the window at the falling snow. "Can we get some
movies and just cuddle and watch movies all day?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Can I turn up the heat? It's a bit too cool to be naked and I really
don't want to get dressed."

"Go ahead. We'll have to get dressed to go get movies, you know," I
teased.

"Why? Could bring a whole new meaning to 'snow balls,'" Justin smirked.

"Except there'd be so much shrinkage you'd be lucky to find them before
mid-summer," I added.

"And to think that people PAY for a sex change," he laughed and wrapped
his arms around me from behind while I was washing our coffee cups.

"Comfy?"

"Yep. Getting warm," he said and held me tighter. "Are you sure you hate
the group's music? Really hate it?"

"Sorry. I really can't stand it. Most pop, not just 'NSYNC. I don't know
how to describe what I think of it without being offensive."

"I think you already mentioned something about jabbing forks in your
ears."

"Yea, that just about covers it. Why do you ask?"

"Just thinking..."

"About..."

"About how or if we could make this work. Make us work," Justin said
carefully.

"You could try making good music," I teased, not really wanting to talk
about it. He squeezed me hard.

"Or I could just help you with those forks," he said before easing up on
the squeeze.

"I like you, but I don't like you well enough to be deaf for you."

"Do you really want me to just go away after this vacation?" Justin
asked seriously.

"No. Not really. My initial concerns are still there, however," I said
and turned in his arms to face him, putting my hands on his hips. "I
wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"'NSYNC is not going to last forever."

"I know. I'm sure you all could retire now and live quite comfortably
the rest of your lives without doing anything else. Nevertheless, you're
probably going to ride that gravy train to the end. It's more than that,
though. We live in different parts of the country. While I don't have to
live in Chicago, I don't want to live in Orlando -- or anywhere in the
South. I like seasons. You're also on tour or doing appearances all the
time. I don't want a long distance relationship. And what about all the
public appearances you have to make? Are you going to take me as your
date to the Grammy's? Not likely."

"I would."

"Would what?"

"Take you to the Grammy's as my date."

"No you wouldn't. You'd have to be out to the world for that to happen.
Even so, I don't want to be the boyfriend you come out for."

"Why not?"

"Because I'd be harassed and probably get death threats from good little
girls who think I turned their hero gay."

"Maybe, but you'd be a hero to all the straight guys who try to kill us
because their girlfriends like us too much."

"I don't want to be famous, or infamous."

"I guess I can understand that," Justin said softly, and then smiled.
"Coffee's ready."

I poured our cups and we sat down on the sofa in front of the TV. Justin
sat between my legs and I wrapped a blanket around us. We'd just turned
on Comedy Central when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi. Jason?"

"Yea."

"Oh, hi. This is Lance. I got your number from Joey. Is Justin there?"

"Yep. Right here," I said and handed the phone to Justin. "It's Lance."

"Hey man. What's up?" Justin said happily. "Oh yea. Totally deep end...
Nah, it's cool... Oh, yea, it is," he smiled and gave me a quick kiss on
the cheek. "We're just sittin' on the sofa drinking coffee... None of
your business, you perv.," he laughed. "Yea, and it was great," he added
in a whisper.

"You gossiping with your girlfriend?" I teased.

He gave me the finger with a smile and went on to tell Lance about the
reading last night. I wrapped my hand around his flaccid penis -- though
it didn't stay that way very long. He made a face and pushed my hand
away, so I reached in with my other hand. He was laughing and squirming
as I tried to grab him and he slapped my hands away while trying to talk
to Lance on the phone.

"Hey Lance, man, I gotta go. I'm being molested," Justin said.

"You know you love it," I teased.

"Stop it. Both of you. That was too freaky. You both said that at the
same time," Justin laughed.

"Well, I can feel how much you love it. I don't think I want to know how
Lance knows," I smiled.

"Yea, yea, whatever. I'll see ya when I get back on the third. Tell
Aaron I said 'hey'... Yea, and please try to calm Josh down, or at least
lock him in a basement...Okay, an attic, then. Whatever... Okay. See
ya." Justin said and hung up.

"Just checking up on you?" I asked.

"Yea. He promised Josh he'd call."

"Josh sounds like he's your mommy."

"He acts like it too. I love him like a brother, but he's just too
uptight sometimes."

"Maybe that's why none of you are in rehab -- unlike some other
boy-band."

"Whatever. What's your favorite love song?"

"Huh? That's a change of topic."

"So?"

"Um, Not really a full song. It'd have to be the first part of 'I Want
You' by Elvis Costello."

"I don't know that one. How does it go."

"It's kind of a two part song. The first part is really short and a
great love song. The second half is longer and almost obsessive love."

"Put in on. Let me hear it."

"My CD of it is at work."

"Sing it, then."

I made a face and then sang it softly. "Oh, my baby, baby, I love you
more than I can tell, I don't think I can live without you, and I know
that I never will. Oh, my baby, baby, I want you so it scares me to
death. I can't say any more than I love you. Everything else is a waste
of breath."

"That nice. Go on."

"That's it. That's one of the things I like about it. He says, 'I can't
say any more than I love you. Everything else is a waste of breath,' and
then ends the song. Of course it goes into another song that is
completely different, but that's beside the point. It's very simple,
short and it's just him and a sparse acoustic guitar."

"Sounds beautiful. What about a longer song? A full song."

"Um...probably 'Would for You' by Jane's Addiction."

"Don't know that one, either," Justin smiled.

"Shit, man. Don't you even listen to any good music?" I sighed.

"Yea. I always listen to good music. Just because you don't like it
doesn't mean it's not good music."

"I know. Just that I don't like it. Don't you even listen to good music
outside of the pop genre?"

"Yea. I listen to rap, R&B, some country, techno...even some classical."

"Okay. So what's your favorite love song?"

"You're gonna laugh."

"Not if you don't tell me. Come on. What is it?"

"'Somewhere' from 'West Side Story,'" Justin said a bit sheepishly.

"Serious?"

"Yea. I think it's beautiful. You're not laughing."

"It's not funny. It's cool. Unexpected."

"Cool. I was afraid you'd make a comment about it being a show tune."

"I resisted the urge," I smiled. "I think taste in music is just
something we're gonna have to agree to disagree on."

"You should make me a CD of the music you like. Favorite artists or
songs. Who would you put on it?"

"Um. Well, of course I'd put 'Would for You' by Jane's Addiction on it.
Probably Elvis Costello's 'I Want You.' Um... This really cool version
of 'How High The Moon' by Dave Brubeck and Jon Hendricks..."

"That's the one on 'Young Lions & Old Tigers,' right?"

"Yea. You've heard it?"

"Oh yea. That's a great CD."

"Oh my god. We actually agree on some music," I said with mock shock.

"Record this day in the history books," Justin smirked. "So what else?"

"Um... I'd have to dig through to find which songs, but probably Social
Distortion, The Cure, Liz Phair, Red Hot Chili Peppers..."

"They rock."

"Another one!"

"Yep. Go on."

"Maybe something by Bright Eyes, Depeche Mode...Ben Harper."

"You like Ben Harper?!"

"Yea, of course. He's fuckin' incredible."

"There's another one we agree on."

"Okay. Let's quit while we're ahead. I'm not sure who else I'd put on
it, anyway."

"Okay," Justin said and snuggled back against me.

"How about this question. What is the most bizarre thing you would do if
you could do it and have no penalties for doing it?"

"What? Like killing someone?"

"If that's what you want, but that's not what I'm thinking. Let's narrow
it down. What is the most bizarre or perverted sexual thing that you've
had even a passing fantasy about? Something you'd never act on, but has
crossed your mind. Make it decadent," I smiled.

Justin turned around and made a face. "Weird question."

I shrugged. "Just answer it."

"The most bizarre and decadent sexual thing...," Justin pondered. "Um..
Okay.. This was just a fleeting thought. Okay? It's not like I planned
it or anything," he justified as he scooted over and turned so we were
facing each other.

"No judgements. Fantasy."

"Okay. There's this web site that has these really hot Russian guys. I
thought about bringing a few of them over as house boys. You know, like
they would walk around naked all the time and be ready to pleasure me at
a moments notice," Justin said with a slight blush.

"That's a good one."

"Now you."

"Um...Mine's a little more weird. I've thought about being able to
control thoughts. Like I could look at someone and make them want me and
do anything I wanted, but they'd think that it was their own thoughts,
not like they were being controlled."

"That's not weird. I think everyone has thought about that -- at least
for one person they wanted but couldn't have."

"And like no one has thought about having sexual house boys?"

"Yea, okay. My turn. If you could have any one thing, what would it be?"

"My soul mate."

"Duh. But I said any one THING. Your soul mate is not a thing -- at
least I hope not."

"Oh, okay. Any one possession."

"Yea."

"Does it have to be something real?"

"Yea. Something you could go out and buy today if money were no object."

"Okay. Hmm... Maybe a private jet. Complete with pilots, crew and all.
Then I could go anywhere at any time and not have to deal with all the
crazy security since the WTC attack."

"That's an ongoing thing. Just a single item. Maintenance, if needed,
included, but not extras like crews of people. Just a thing."

"That makes it harder."

"I know."

"Um...okay, how about a villa in the south of France on the ocean.
Preferably either very modern or medieval remodeled with modern
conveniences."

"Very nice. Those are pretty cheap, you know."

"What's cheap?"

"Under or around a million."

"That's expensive for me."

"It's not chump change, but it's cheaper than real estate around
Orlando. My townhouse was more than what those places go for. You could
probably buy two of them for what Lance spent on his house."

"Shit. Why live there if it's so expensive?"

"That's where the main office is."

"Yea, but you're not home a lot are you?"

"No, but when I am it's nice to have a place to call home."

"Hell, I'd just buy a small condo and have a real house where I wanted
to live."

"It's easier to just live there. I like my townhouse. It's a gated
community, so it's secure. My neighbors don't get nosey. I don't have to
take care of the yard, and I have a small pool of my own. It's nice."

"Why gated for you? Joey's place isn't gated."

"His choice. He can get away with it. He's also got people over there
all the time. My neighborhood would have a fit if he lived there."

"Okay. What about you? What would be the single possession you'd buy."

"An island in the Mediterranean with a castle. Maybe near France, but
more south."

"Why an island? Security?"

"Yep. The only way you could get to it would be by helicopter or boat
and there'd be only one dock and one road up the hill to the castle."

"Given it a bit of thought, huh?" I teased.

"Yea. I think about it every time I get mobbed."

"You could just get out of the business."

"Nope. Contracts. I don't know if I'd want to anyway. I enjoy it too
much. It's just all the publicity shit that takes it's toll."

"Wouldn't you have to be closer to Italy or France to get a castle?"

"Probably. I've seen a few that I've been tempted to buy near the Gulf
of Morbihan. It's not really as south as I'd like, but they were really
good deals. Well under a million."

"What would you do with it?"

"Live there, of course."

"Now reality. What would you do there?"

"I'd have a recording studio built and produce."

"That could be really nice as long as you had people there. It'd get
pretty lonely."

"Yea. I'm sure I could always find someone to be there. I probably
wouldn't do it until I find my soul mate, though. It's not like I'd ever
meet people there," Justin smiled.

"Except other musicians and people you know and invited."

"Yea," Justin sighed. "The ones I considered weren't islands, though.
Ocean front or ocean view. Big and private property. I could always take
a train to Paris if I wanted to visit the big city life."

"How's your French?"

"Horrible, except for kissing," Justin smiled.

"Yea, I think you've got the kissing down."

"What about you? Do you speak French?"

"Nope. English only. I mean, I know a lot of words and phrases in a lot
of different languages, but I'm not fluent in any of them. I haven't had
the chance to travel Europe yet."

"You've never been to Europe?"

"Nope."

"Have you been out of the US?"

"If you count Canada as being outside the US."

"Only technically. Why haven't you gone to Europe. It's not that
expensive."

"I've been paying for my condo. Admittedly, it was relatively
inexpensive to buy, but that's because it was totally unfinished. I've
had to put a lot of work into it. In a couple more years I'll be able to
go."

"Why'd you buy a place first instead of traveling first?"

"Well, whether I travel or not I still need a place to live."

"True."

"I also couldn't pass this place up. I mean, even if I were to sell it
now I could easily get twice what I've put into it."

"That's a good investment."

"Yep. Okay. Here's another one. What do you think it your worst fault?"

"Worst fault?"

"Yep."

"Um... I guess my moodiness. I can be really moody. What about you?"

"Foot in mouth disease."

"Huh?"

"I sometimes say things without thinking of the consequences. Foot in
mouth."

"Ah. Gotcha. Foot fetish," Justin teased.

"Noooo. I prefer dick or tongue," I said.

"We'll get there," Justin smiled. "I had this girl suck my toes once."

"And?"

"It was cool. Weird, but cool. I didn't want to kiss her afterwards. She
got kinda pissy."

"I don't think I'd want to kiss her, either -- for a couple reasons."

"Have you ever rimmed?"

"No."

"Ever wanted to?"

"Nope. Maybe it's a hang up on my part, but I think it's gross. You?"

"No. I haven't done it or had it done to me. Reading stories about it
makes it seem really pleasurable."

"These are probably the same stories that never mention farts or shit
during anal sex too, right?"

"Yea. Unrealistic, I know."

"Do you have any fetish?"

"Probably. Like what?"

"Bondage. S&M. Pissing. Underwear. Feet. Whatever."

"Um, I've thought about being tied up. Not like any of that hard core
bondage and leather and crap. Just being restrained and taken advantage
of, but by someone I want to be taken advantage of."

"So like being tied to the bed?"

"Yea, or standing up. Blindfolded too, so I couldn't see what was going
to happen."

"That sounds cool. Maybe we'll try it sometime," I smiled.

"Maybe. What about you?"

"I guess I could go for the light bondage, like you."

"What body part turns you on most?" Justin asked.

"Stomach."

"Stomach?"

"Yea. A really great stomach. Light to no hair. Toned, not fat or hard
ripped. Gets my attention every time. You?"

"Legs. Muscular, but not too muscular. Not super hairy, but not bare."

"You said you were out to the other guys in 'NSYNC. Are you out to your
parents?"

"No. They'd be pissed, but I could probably tell them. I'm not going to
until I'm in a serious relationship with someone. I assume you are?"

"Yea."

"How long have you known you were gay? Been out?"

"I guess I've always known. As far back as I can remember I liked being
around boys more than girls. I repressed it for a while. I came out my
freshman year of university when I was dating my first boyfriend."

"What happened to him?"

"We just broke up after a few months. Nothing dramatic."

"Do you still love him, too?"

"Rob was my first. I'll always remember him and have a place in my heart
for him."

"Oh no. Does that mean you're gonna haunt my thoughts forever?" Justin
groaned teasingly.

"Yep. You should have run when you had the chance. So how long have you
known? Why have you repressed it for so long?"

"Why did you wait until you got to university? Probably 'cause you were
out on your own, right?"

"More or less."

"Well, I've been around lots of sex, but I've also been under a
microscope. I always had someone watching over me, so I couldn't even
easily or discreetly do anything without everyone knowing. As for how
long...well, I guess I've always known. Just a matter of understanding,
then accepting, then acting. It's weird in a way."

"What's weird?"

"The coming out process or acceptance process or whatever. It's just
really stupid. I mean, you agonize over who you should feel attracted
to. How stupid is that?!"

"Yea, that part is pretty stupid, but I think most people agonize over
the place it puts them in society rather than the attraction. When you
were attracted to your first guy, what was the first thing you thought
about? 'Oh no, I like a guy,' or 'I really like him, but I'm afraid he
doesn't like me the same way and will let other people know that I like
him and that will make me an outcast?'"

"Um, pretty much the latter. I wasn't worried about it being a guy as
much as him finding out. That's what scared me."

"I rest my case, though I don't remember what the case what about," I
smiled and shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure it was about why I should fuck you right now."

"Oh really?"

"Pretty sure."

"Hmm. I thought it was the other way around."

"You fuck me?"

"Sure. I'd love to," I smiled and pushed him to his back with a kiss.

"You tricked me," Justin smiled after we broke the kiss.

"Yea. So?" I teased.

"I just wanted you to know."

-----------------------------------------------------
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