Date: Sat, 18 May 2002 21:45:36 -0700
From: dream lover <jcsonlydreamlover@hotmail.com>
Subject: welcome to paradise4

Welcome To Paradise.

Chapter 4: Long Goodbye

Hey everyone. Sorry its been a few days, but I've had a LONG few days. So
don't be surprised if you don't see more than one posting a week. *shrugs*
I'm a slow writer sorry. Oh and Britney and Justin are going to be a couple
in this. I know they're not together, and now my friends are hearing they
are, but in my little imaginary world, they are, k? I'm sorry if you don't
like them together or her as a person, but just read the story anyways, lol.
:) I think they're a cute couple so they're together. Get it? Ok moving
on...

Ok now for the thank you/ dedication:
Chris- glad you like the story, I love Jc's Hitchhiker too.

Disclaimer: I don't own, nor do I know the guys of *N SYNC. But I do own Ry,
Jen, and Alex. Britney Spears own herself too...I hope.

Story suggestion: 'Just and Josh'- it's a sweet and wonderful story. You
should check it out! Now! Ok so after you read the chapter...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I know they say if you love somebody, you should set them free. But it sure
is hard to do, sure is hard to do. And they say if they don't come back
again then its meant to be, but those words don't pull me through..."-
Brooks and Done *Long Goodbye*



I sat staring at my Decafe Mocha; stirring the whipped cream in with the
small little brown straw they give you. I sighed as I watched the white foam
dissolve into the brown, delicious mixture, slowly becoming a litter brown.
I wrapped my figures around the warm cup, trying to stay warm even though it
was 90 degrees outside. Justin laid his hands softly on mine, in a
comforting way. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Thanks for listening to my ramblings today Just. It means a lot." I said
softly, looking up.

"Hey no prob. you're my friend, and you happen to be friends with my best
friend, so even if I didn't know you I'd help you." Justin smiled.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, peachy fucking keen." I laughed.

"No seriously." He laughed, taking his hands back and putting them behind
his head. I looked back down at my coffee. The white had disappeared and
there wasn't much left of the brown concoction in my cup.

"That bad?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

"No, it's just..." I smiled. "Incredibly wild." I laughed along with Justin.

"Gawd are you ever serious?" He replied exasperated.

"No." I grinned.

"Why?" he inquired.

"I don't know, just one of my many blessings." I smiled. Hello is this boy
that stupid? I just explained like 5 hours ago that I used humor as a
defense mechanism. All those dye jobs must be starting to catch up with him

"Or curses." He smirked.

"Hey now, no name calling." I pouted. Hey at least he's a nice stupid boy.

"Fine, reply withdrawn." He caved. I smiled in victory. "Flight 32A from
Orlando now arriving at gate 24." The lady from America Airlines said over
the loud speaker.

I got up from my seat at Starbucks and walked over to gate 24 where I had
been laying only hours before. Bright light shone through the huge window
with a yellow tint. I walked over to it, almost like I was drawn to it. I
could tell out of the corner of my eye that Justinwas behind me, probably
trying to make sure I didn't jump out it something. I looked out the window
and saw the plane hook up to the ramp connector thingy. 5 minutes later 1st
class started coming out. I waited till the coach people started coming to
look for them. It took me less than 10 seconds to find them, I don't know
why but Jen and I have this thing were we can find each other no matter
what. Like twins or something, maybe we share one brain or something, which
would sense for why I twitch every 5 minutes, wait no, that's my great uncle
Melville. Ok I'm confused.

I walked over to wear Jen was standing looking at me strangely and Alex who
had his arms tangled in carry-ons.

"Hey guys." I grinned. Jen hugged me, and leaned over and whispered in my
ear. "Ry, I know we haven't talked very much in the last few days, but where
the hell did you met Justin Timberlake and why the hell didn't you tell me?"
I laughed and looked over my shoulder at Justin who stood leaning against
the rail smiling at us.

"Hey Alex," I greeted him with a head nod because he couldn't find his arms.

"Hey Ry." He replied. I smiled and walked over to Justin.

"Come on, don't be shy, I swear she wont bit." I laughed.

"Too much." Alex added, which earned him a smack from Jen.

"Hi I'm Justin." J smiled stretching his hand out for Jen to shake.

"No you're the emperor of China." I replied rolling my eyes.

"Really that's so cool, I didn't know that. Wow I'm really important," J
said in mock surprise.

"I'm Jen, this loser's best friend." Jen smiled pointing at me.

"Oh I love you to Jen." I smiled. "Well let's get this show on the road
before this gets too ugly."

"Great. Ry 'mind giving me a hand here? Jen packed enough stuff to do on the
plane to last us to the moon and back." Alex asked.

"Really the moon? Now see I thought Lance was the only one going to the moon
here." I chuckled.

"Well you now she's outta this world." Alex added cheesely. Justin and I
pretended to gag to each other.

"Good boy." Jen smiled and padded him on the head. "When we get back to Ry's
I'll give you your treat."

"Oh no you're not. While I'm home no funny stuff got it? I don't want to
hear you two going at it." I stopped. It's bad enough normally, but with the
whole Josh thing I really didn't want to hear it.

"Fine Ry we'll be good. If we want to we'll just kick you outta the house."
Jen smiled evilly.

"Oh dear Lord this is going to be a long week." I groaned. Justin laughed.



We got out of my car and hoped onto the hard driveway. I laughed at some
joke Jen had said and opened the door to find Josh fast asleep on my couch.
I stopped in my tracts as soon as I saw his sweet face. Jen ran into my
back, not seeing me stop.

"Gosh Ry what'd you do? Tie and gag all of them and through them in your car
and take them here?" Jen laughed. "Are Joey, Chris and Lance here
somewhere?"

"Not to my knowledge." I said softly.

"Well Ry I'm gonna go call my girl k?" Justin asked walking back out to my
front yard. I only nodded in response. I don't know why, but for some reason
I felt really dizzy all the sudden. Jen must have realized this was a touchy
subject because she stopped teasing me.
"Alex have you seen Ry's back yard? You haven't? Well he has an awesome view
of the beach." Jen said breaking the silence and dragging Alex out my
backyard. I walked slowly to the coach, almost with caution. This is stupid
Ry, it's a couch it can't attack you, I thought to myself as I reached to
couch. I reached my hand out and gently stroked his hair. I may be mad at
him, but he's too cute. He eyes fluttered open at my touch.

"Now you wake up quickly, on the plane you were almost in a coma and now you
wake up when I touch you." I laughed lightly trying to lighten the
situation.

"Did your meeting go well?" Josh asked sleepily. Meeting, what meeting? OH
the 'meeting' I went to this morning.

"Great we got a lot done." I replied taking my hand back suddenly, realizing
I was still rubbing his hair. Josh frowned slightly at this, but I shrugged
it off. Can't feel Ry remember? Can't get too emotionally attached.

"Did your friends get in ok?" Josh asked, sitting up next to me.

"Yeah, they're in the backyard checking out the view." I answered. He looked
into my eyes with those soulful blue puffy orbs of his and I felt myself
getting lost in them. It always used to bug me when people said that they
got lost in some one else's eyes, that never made sense to me until now. I
got up and walked into the kitchen that opened up into the living room. I
really couldn't get to close to Josh, both physically and emotionally.

"Ry are you ok?" he asked, getting up behind me and following me into the
kitchen and leaning on the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. Yeah
I'm just dandy, what do you think you idiot? I felt like yelling, but I
didn't. When I looked into his eyes and saw how worried he was, I just
couldn't yell at him. So I did the opposite.

"Yeah I'm fine." I smiled. It was a fake smile, but it wasn't half bad
looking. If I didn't know me I'd say it was real. I didn't look in his eyes,
I looked at the little place above his nose and between his eyes. A little
tip I picked up that makes it look like your looking someone in the eyes.

"Really? 'Cause the way you acted this morning doesn't really seem like your
fine." He argued.

"Yeah I'm fine. I was just worried 'cause I had forgotten the meeting. But
I'm fine now." I emphasized. Ry you are the hugest liar, I thought to myself
as I tried to look in his eyes but I couldn't. I turned back to the
refrigerator and got myself out a Coke. I could hear my heartbeat and every
time it beat it went li-ar, li-ar, li-ar.

"Want one?" I asked turning back to face him trying to not listen to my
heart in more than one way.

"Nah I'm ok." He answered. Then the awkward silence fell over us.

"So..." he started, trying to make conversation.

"Josh why are you here?" I asked. It was the only question I really wanted
the answer to. Hey why beat around the bush?

"Because I felt bad that I did what I did, and I wanted to make sure you
were ok." He replied honestly. I closed my eyes and sighed. I was thinking
about the best way to do things. I opened them quickly and smiled. Hey this
lie was working so far, why not continue with it.

"Well as you can see I'm good, and don't worry about it, probably happens
all the time all over the world to people, I think I'll live." I lied. I
flat out lied. But he seemed to buy it. Lucky me. I should be an acter, I
can see it now "Ryan Adams stars in 'The Stupidest Man Alive'"

"Well then Justin and I better get going. We have a early flight tomorrow."
Josh responded, and turned to leave the kitchen. I followed him out and saw
Jen looking through my back door for a sign that they could come back in
over Alex's shoulder. I laughed, way to be subtle Jen.

"I guess this is goodbye then." I said opening my door for him.

"I guess so." He replied walking halfway through the door and turning
around.

"Give me a call if you're ever back in the Islands again alright?" I asked,
praying he'd say no, I don't think I could stand seeing him again.

"Defiantly, next time you meet with J in Orlando give me a ring k?" He
answered. I gave my most convincing smile I could. Great this is just swell.

"Sure. Tell J bye for me will ya?" I called after him as he left. Justin had
called a cab too while Josh and I had been talking.

"Okay, bye." He yelled before getting into the cab and driving out of my
life. I sighed and walked back into my house with tears in my eyes. He was
gone, for good. This is wonderful right? Yeah of course. Just what I wanted,
to never see the man of my dreams again.