Date: Mon, 09 Apr 2001 01:30:53 From: Jeff Langdon <jeff_langdon@hotmail.com> Subject: Westlife Romance - Chapter 19 This story is pure fiction and involves the members of Westlife. I am in no way implying anything about the sexuality of any of their members. This is purely a fictional story. Enjoy! I would really, really appreciate some feedback on the story...so please send any comments and/or suggestions to jeff_langdon@hotmail.com. I would love to hear from you!! * * * * * * * * * Westlife Romance - Part 19 Ignoring Kian, Shane left the room chasing after Nicky. His guilty conscience was bothering to the extent that he felt that he had to make it up to his band mate by being there for him. "Nicky, wait..." Nicky stopped and turned around, forcing a smile as he met his band mate's gaze. "What is it, Shane?" he asked as naturally as he could, not wanting to break down in tears in front of Shane. "Are you okay, Nix?" Shane asked softly. "'Course I am," Nicky answered with a smile. "Just going to get a band-aid to cover up this cut." "You really sure you're alright?" Shane asked again, unsure of whether to believe Nicky's answer or not. "I appreciate your concern, Shane," Nicky answered, "but I'm fine...really." Shane still wasn't convinced, but he let it go for the time being. "Well, at least let me go and help you patch up your cut." "Hey, it's not that bad of a cut...I'm not handicapped yet," Nicky joked. "Just let me go with you already!" Shane said with a smile. The two lads walked to Bryan's room to clean up Nicky's wound. Even though their faces did not show it, both of them had worries that weighed on their hearts. The rehearsal in the studio that morning went surprisingly well. Once the music began, all the lads focused on their work, forgetting the personal problems that were plaguing them. On the surface, an outsider could not tell that anything was wrong with the group's dynamic. "Let's take a break," Mark suggested as he wiped the sweat off his face. The studio was hot and stuffy. "Good idea, Mark. I'm starving," Bryan agreed. Mark rolled his eyes at in mock annoyance at Bryan's comment, which only elicited laughter from the other lads. "You lads coming with us to the cafeteria?" "Sure, I am kind of hungry too," Shane responded. "Kian, how 'bout you?" "Yeah, why not..." "I'll just take it easy here," Nicky answered. "I'm not hungry anyways." "You sure?" Mark asked with concern. "You didn't have much at breakfast this morning." "Yeah, I'm fine. You lads go ahead." The other lads looked at each other, finally deciding to give Nicky some space and headed to the cafeteria. Nicky leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes. He hadn't realized how emotionally exhausting the last 24 hours were for him. As the other lads walked towards the cafeteria, the earlier tension crept back into the group. Bryan distanced himself from Kian and Shane walked in awkward silence. Kian, feeling the group's negative feelings towards him, felt like an open target. Mark could feel the tension and tried to diffuse it before it got worse. "Look lads, we can't go on like this," he said suddenly. Everyone stopped and looked at him with a puzzled look. "This tension is not doing the group any good at all. We are going to talk this out and sort things out." "We're fine," Bryan answered flatly. "We're not fine," Mark asserted. "Bryan, you're going to start first. You're going to say what's on your mind and put it all out in the open." "Fine," Bryan answered calmly. "If you want it out in the open, here it is. Kian, I treated you as a friend and so did Nicky. I can't understand why or how you could hurt Nicky the way you did." "I feel the same way," Shane continued. "You're my best friend, Kian. We grew up together. But it seems like I don't know you anymore. You're not the same Kian that I thought I knew. What happened between us? Why Kian?" Shane was getting emotional; his fallout with Kian was hurting him more than he thought it would. He desperately missed his best friend, but he just could not bring himself to forgive Kian for what he did. Or maybe it because Shane couldn't forgive himself. Seeing Shane so emotional stirred Kian's emotions as well. "I don't know what to say really, aside from the fact that I'm so sorry for everything that has happened. I know that I not only hurt Nicky, but all of you guys as well. But you have to understand the confusion that I was going through. I just didn't know what I was doing or what I wanted. And before I knew it, things were spiralling out of control," Kian said as he began to sob. Even Bryan felt some sympathy towards Kian after his outpouring of emotions. "Do you love Nicky?" he finally asked. "Of course I do!" Kian answered as he brushed the tears from his face. "How about Derek?" Bryan asked again. This time there was hesitation from Kian. "I...I think I love him too." "Would you give up Derek for Nicky?" Shane asked. "I...I don't know!!!" Kian cried in despair. "I'm so confused. I love Nicky...but I love Derek too!!" Shane sighed at Kian's answer. It wasn't what he wanted to hear. Looking at Bryan, it was obvious that his band mate shared the same feelings. Mark's face betrayed a look of worry...worry about how this crises will affect their friendship. Finally, Bryan spoke up. "Kian, I can't say that I truly understand what you are thinking or feeling. And to be honest, I'm still upset with you. But I know that Nicky loves you more than anything in this world. I think you need time to sort this out. But in the mean time, I think it won't do Nix any good if we keep fighting with each other." Mark clearly liked what he heard from Bryan. "Bryan's right. For Nicky's sake, we have to try to get along despite what our personal feelings are. We all need time to work this out." Everyone agreed to try and work things out for Nicky's sake. After making their pact, they walked back towards the studio. The rest of the afternoon passed by without any more open conflicts, although things were definitely far from being alright. The rehearsal ended in the late afternoon and the lads made their way back to the car. After deciding on dinner, everyone quieted down, enjoying the down time. It gave everyone time to think or just to relax after a tiring day. The sound of the radio kept the car from becoming completely silent. Nicky stared out the window, his mind drifting far away. He wasn't even aware that he began thinking back to happier days with Kian and how desperately he missed his former lover. When Nicky finally realized where his thoughts were going, he was surprised that he had shed no tears. It was then that the radio began playing a song that again opened his emotional floodgates: All At Once All at once, I finally took a moment and I'm realizing that You're not coming back And it finally hit me All at once All at once I started counting teardrops and at least a million fell My eyes began to swell And all my dreams were shattered All at once Ever since I met you You're the only love I've known And I can't forget you So I must face it all alone All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea Wishing you'd come back to me And that's all that matters now All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea Holding on to memories And it hurts me more than you know So much more than it shows All at once All at once, I looked around and found that you were with another love In someone else's arms And all my dreams were shattered All at once All at once The smile that used to greet me brightened someone else's day She took your smile away And left me with just memories All at once Ever since I met you You're the only love I've known And I can't forget you So I must face it all alone All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea Wishing you'd come back to me And that's all that matters now All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea Holding on to memories And it hurts me more than you know So much more than it shows All at once Not wanting to disturb the others, Nicky continued to stare out the window as the music played, his tears of pain and hurt unseen and unheard by any of the other lads. ...to be continued.... * * * * * * * * * Hope you enjoyed this segment. Let me know what you think!! I'd love to hear any comments/ideas/questions. Please e-mail me at jeff_langdon@hotmail.com.