Date: Tue, 05 Jun 2001 21:25:37
From: Jeff Langdon <jeff_langdon@hotmail.com>
Subject: Westlife Romance - Chapter 47

Westlife Romance - Part 47

Bryan stared into Nicky's tear-stained face, not knowing what to say.  He
cursed himself for his loss of words.  He had so much to tell Nicky, but now
at this crucial moment, he didn't know what to say.

Without saying another word, Nicky gently lifted Bryan from the ground.
Just like that night in the alley, the older boy carried Bryan on his back,
slowly walking back to Bryan's room.

Once in the room, Bryan sat on the bed in a daze.  He still hadn't figured
out what to say, so he just let Nicky tend to his ankle in silence.  On
several occasions, Nicky had to brush the tears from his face before
continuing with his task.

Bryan wanted to pull Nicky close and hug him tight.  They were both hurting
so much, yet each of them didn't know how to tell the other about it.
Finally, Nicky finished wrapping Bryan's ankle and he got up from the bed.

"So you're going to walk out on me again, Nix?" Bryan asked as he choked
back his tears.

Nicky kept his back to Bryan, afraid to look into the younger boy's eyes.
"I have to go, Bryan..." he finally said softly.

Bryan turned to look out the window, though his vision was blurred by the
tears in his eyes.  "So there's nothing here worth saying for, Nix?  Nothing
that can keep you here?"

Nicky finally turned to face Bryan.  His heart ached as he saw how much hurt
he was again inflicting on the younger lad.  "I...You know that's not true,
Bryan...I thought I already told you clearly in the tape..."

Bryan looked up at Nicky.  "Yes...the tape...you didn't even bother to tell
me in person.  You couldn't even face up to your problems, Nicky.  This
isn't the Nicky that I know.  The Nicky that I know is brave and loving, not
a coward like you!!" Bryan lashed out bitterly.  "You're not the Nicky that
I've looked up to all these years.  You...you just make me sick!!!"

Bryan's words struck Nicky with a vengeance.  He fell on his knees and
sobbed.  He knew Bryan was right.  Everything that he said was right.  "Why
are you so weak, Nicky?" he asked himself.  He felt so helpless, so useless.
  He no longer had control over anything.

Seeing Nicky's reaction caused a wave of guilt to wash over Bryan.  He
immediately regretted what he had said.  He got off the bed and limped over
to Nicky.  Kneeling down, he pulled the older boy close and hugged him.  He
longed to take all the pain away.  "I'm so sorry, Nicky.  I...I didn't mean
that, Nicky.  Oh Nix, I love you.  Why can't you let me love you?" Bryan
pleaded.

Nicky melted into Bryan's embrace and sobbed.  He couldn't take it anymore.
He could no longer bear it alone.  He needed someone.  He needed Bryan.
"I'm so sorry, Bryan...I never meant to hurt you," Nicky cried.  "Please
don't hate me...please..."

"Oh Nicky...I can never hate you," Bryan whispered as he caressed Nicky's
cheeks.  "Just don't shut me out, Nix...I love you...I love you more than
anything in this world..."

"I'm so scared, Bryan...I just wanted to run away..." Nicky whispered amidst
his tears.  "But at the same time, I couldn't let you go...it's all such a
big mess, Bryan...I've messed everything up again..."

Bryan was ecstatic that Nicky had feelings for him, yet he needed a way to
convince Nicky to let him into his life.  He pulled Nicky close again,
hugging the older boy.  It felt so good to have Nicky so close to him.  He
began to sing very softly to Nicky...

"A fragile heart, was broken before
I don't think it could endure another pain
But there's a voice from deep inside of you
That's calling out to make you realize
That this new bond gives inspiration
To all who feel no love appeal no more
So how can I break this wall around you
That's aiding both our hearts to grow in pain.

So forget your past, and we can dream tomorrow,
Save our hearts for care and loving too
It's hard, I know, but oh one thing's for sure,
Don't go and break this fragile heart."

Tears trickled down Bryan's cheeks as he held on to Nicky.  Since that day
at the airport, he had promised himself that he would never let Nicky go
again.  His voice trembling, he continued to stroke Nicky's soft blond hair.

"A hurting mind in need of emotion
I don't think it could endure another pain
But baby in you, I've found affection
Affection I have never felt before.

So don't let your past destroy what comes tomorrow
Don't go and break this fragile heart."

"Nix...please...please give me just one chance.  I promise I'll love you the
way you deserve to be loved," Bryan pleaded.  "I love you so much, Nix..."

Nicky looked at Bryan in the eyes.  Both boys had tears running down their
cheeks.  Nicky brought his hands to Bryan's face and lovingly brushed the
tears away.  He leaned in slowly and kissed Bryan on the lips.  It was a
short kiss, but it encompassed such a deep meaning.  Bryan thought he was
dreaming once again, but it was real.  Taking Bryan's hands, Nicky kissed it
tenderly.  "I love you, Bryan...I love you..." he said softly.  These were
the words that Bryan had longed to hear for so long.  Pulling Bryan close,
Nicky kissed the younger boy again...

...to be continued....