Date: Sun, 24 Mar 2002 00:39:42 -0500
From: Thack <thack98@mindspring.com>
Subject: What I Feel For You 1-4

WARNING: This story is sexually-explicit, involving homosexuality. Do not
continue if this will offend you. If accessing this story causes you to
break local laws (village, town, city, county, province, state, or country,
etc.), please leave now.

By continuing, you implicitly declare and affirm under penalties of perjury
that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to
have access to sexually-explicit material.

The content and opinions expressed in this story do not imply anything with
regards to the sexual preference of any member of 98 Degrees or any other
celebrities named herein.  It is a work of fiction entirely.

Special thanks to Matt Hunter for his encouragement.  I highly recommend
Matt's story, "Search and Rescue", which can be found on the Nifty Archives.

Thanks for stopping by and reading.  - Thack

What I Feel For You

Scene 1

I pressed the button for the 17th floor and waited for the elevator doors
to close.  As I glanced down at my watch, was glad to see that my day was
almost over.  It wasn't that it had been a busy day, but it's always tough
to drag yourself out of bed on Sunday to go to work.

"PBX this is the MOD.  I'm starting my walkdown.  Over," I spoke into the
walkie- talkie.

"Copy that.  Have fun, Alex," I heard Roszetta snicker over the radio.  I
had to laugh myself.  Roszetta, one of the hotel operators, knew me so
well.  So knew that out of all the things I had to do that day, the
walkdown was my least favorite.  I didn't usually work on Sundays, but that
day I was the Manager-On-Duty (or MOD).  As MOD you are responsible for the
entire hotel and as a result, you have to keep in constant contact with the
hotel operators (or PBX).  Being responsible for a 357-room hotel with two
full- service restaurants sounds like a big deal, but after working there
for four years it wasn't too bad.  After all, I'd seen just about
everything by that point in my career.

The walkdown is pretty much just like it sounds.  You start at the top of
the hotel and walk all the way through the building.  As you walk, you look
to make sure that everything is where it should be.  You look for room
service trays in the hallways and blocked fire exits.  It's pretty
innocuous but necessary.  It's also pretty boring.

I entered the health club, expecting to find it empty on a beautiful summer
afternoon.  The health club was one of the best features of the hotel.
Filled with floor to ceiling windows, it overlooked Downtown Minneapolis.
Although the equipment was pretty old, the variety of machines and free
weights was much greater than you might find in another hotel.

I glanced over and saw a man working out the Cybex lat-pull down machine.
I stood motionless for a moment, admiring his strength.  He was facing away
from me and I could only see his back.  He was wearing bright blue shorts
and he had his shirt off.  With each repetition I could see the muscles of
his back contact and stretch.  As I stood there, it dawned on me that I
should probably tell him he needed to put his shirt back on but not
surprisingly, that didn't happen.

"Good afternoon," I said just as he finished his set.

"What?" he exclaimed as he turned to look at me.  He had a grin on his
face.  "Sneaking up on me, huh?"

Once I saw whom it was I got a little flustered but I hid it pretty well.
"Sorry, Mr.  Lachey.  Purely unintentional.  I do that a lot," I responded.

"You'd make a good spy," he chuckled.  "Just call me Nick, by the way.  I
know you need to be all proper in these swanky hotels but I just hate the
'Mr. Lachey' crap."

I smiled, thinking about how out of place I used to feel amidst all the
marble and mahogany.  I knew that 98 Degrees was staying at the hotel for a
couple of weeks but I didn't really think I'd see any of them.  My job
keeps me out of sight from most of the guests.  Although Minneapolis isn't
Hollywood, we got a surprising number of celebrities at the hotel.  Being
the in the Reservations Department, I always knew who was staying with us.

"I'm in charge today," I said as I motioned to the walkie-talkie, "so if
there is anything I can get you, let me know.  For right now, though, I'll
just get out of your way.  I know I always get annoyed when people
interrupt my workout."

"Fair enough," he responded.  "Thanks."

My eyes lingered on him maybe a second longer than they should.  I don't
know if it was my being star-struck or him being shirtless that did it for
me.  Honestly, it was probably him being shirtless, though at the time I
thought differently.  His eyes met mine and I quickly looked down.  In that
instant I knew he figured me out.  I felt the uncontrollable blush show on
my face as I quickly turned to leave.

"Damn!" I thought.  "I have to stop doing that."

Just as the door to the health club was closing I heard the crash.  A
split-second later I heard Nick cry out.  Spinning around, I saw him lying
on the ground, the bar from the exercise machine with the snapped cord
resting beside him.  As I ran toward him, I could see the pool of blood
forming around his head.

"Code 911 in the health club.  Code 911 in the health club," I screamed
over the walkie- talkie.  Stupidly, I let go of it and it shattered in
several pieces at my feet.

About four hundred things raced through my mind.  I placed my hand on his
neck, feeling for a pulse.  "Thank God," I thought.

"Nick.  Nick!  Can you hear me?" I shouted at him.  I tried desperately to
remember my first aid training.

Behind me I could hear footsteps.  Presuming it was the hotel security
officer, I turned to get his help.  When I saw it wasn't hotel security, I
tried to speak but before I could say anything, I saw the fist flying at
me.  When the punch hit me, I flew back, stumbling over Nick's motionless
body.  I felt my head slam against the metal of one of the machines behind
me.  The last thing I remembered was seeing the floor rush toward me just
as I blacked out.

Scene 2

I opened my eyes only to be greeted by what I thought was the brightest
light I'd ever seen.  I quickly closed them and reached over to what should
have been the lamp beside my bed.  At that point, I realized I wasn't in my
own bed.

"Look who is back in the land of the living," I heard a voice from across
the room.

"Mike?" I asked hesitantly.

"The one and only," was the reply.

"What in the hell happened?" I asked, thoroughly confused.  By this time I
had slowly opened my eyes and Mike was standing over me.  He was grinning
slightly but I could read something else in his eyes.  We had been best
friends for about four years now.  There was little we didn't know about
each other and even less that we could hide from one another.  I could see
that he was worried, which made me even more uncomfortable.

"I don't know all the details," he tried to explain.  "All I know is that
you were on the receiving end of one nasty right cross.  You've been out
since yesterday afternoon."  He paused briefly to see if any of it was
registering with me.  Then, in his typical fashion, he laid into me.  "Oh,
and I know all of this because you listed me as your emergency contact.  I
had to spend the night in that chair over there.  But don't worry," he
laughed, "I'll send you the bill from my chiropractor."

He started laughing, not because it was funny but because he wanted to
lighten the mood.  I started laughing too, but then the pain shot through
my shoulder.  Mike saw the look on my face and he immediately tried to keep
me from moving.  He placed one hand on my right shoulder and he grabbed my
right hand with his other hand.

"Try not to move," he cautioned.  "You have a dislocated left shoulder.
Not to mention the fourteen stitches in the back of you head."

Suddenly it all flooded back to me.  I remembered being at work and I
remembered Nick.  "Nick?" I said out loud, not sure what else to say.

Mike picked up on my train of thought.  That's the real benefit of knowing
someone that well.  Even when you don't have the words, you don't usually
need them.  "He's next door, or at least he was last night.  He got off
pretty easy.  Just a couple of stitches.  They kept him overnight because
he had a mild concussion."  He watched me as I tried to put all of the
pieces of the puzzle together in my mind.  As I was trying to think, it
dawned on me that my head was pounding.  "There's one other thing I should
probably tell you," Mike said quietly.  "It's about the guy who hit you."

Just then the door of the hospital room swung open.  Three guys walked in.
I immediately recognized them as Jeff, Drew, and Justin-the other members
of 98 Degrees.  I looked up at Mike, who was still holding my hand.  When
the guys entered the room, I felt him tighten his grip on me.  Mike looked
into my eyes and I could tell he didn't know what to do.  I looked across
the room and my glance fell on Jeff.  He had a strange look on his face, a
combination of guilt and fear.  He was looking right at me but when my eyes
met his.  He quickly looked down.

"This is not a good idea," I heard.  I don't remember if it was Justin or
Drew that said it because everything came back to me at that instant.  It
was almost like a scene from a made for TV movie.  I flashed back to the
health club.  This time, instead of seeing just a fist flying at me, I saw
then man who was throwing the punch.

Adrenaline took over and somehow I managed to sit upright, even with Mike
trying to hold me down.  "Get the fuck out of here!" I screamed, staring
right at Jeff.

He stood there, apparently in shock.  No one moved for about 10 seconds.
The only sound was my breathing as I was almost hyperventilating.  Justin
pulled Jeff out of the room just in time for my body to realize just how
much pain it was in.  My shoulder was throbbing now and my head felt like
it was about to explode.  I leaned back in the bed as my field of vision
began to narrow.  I fought with everything I had to keep from blacking out
but I quickly lost the battle.

***

When I opened my eyes I saw Drew standing over me.  I tried to read his
expression but I was unsuccessful.  I admit that I was a little confused as
to what was going on and he must have picked up on that.

"Everything's okay," he said in a soft, gentle tone.

At that point I realized he was holding my wrist, which I thought was
rather odd.  Then I realized he was taking my pulse.  I got a little
spooked by that and I quickly scanned the room for Mike.

"He went to get the doctor," Drew said, reading my mind.  "But don't worry.
You're going to be fine."  He could see the puzzled look on my face as I
tried to piece everything together.  "You passed out from the pain, which
is a fairly common reaction to a high stress situation like the one you
were in."  He paused.  "Like the one we put you in," he added as almost an
afterthought.  "Your heart rate is a bit high but I wouldn't be worried
about it."

As he let go of my arm I looked away from him.  I didn't want him to see
the tears that were welling in my eyes.  It was all just too much to take.
Just yesterday, or what I assumed to be yesterday since I didn't have a
very good concept of time right then, everything was fine.  I was living my
life and everything was good.  "Damn it!" I thought to myself.  "Pull it
together, Alex."  I had been through so much in the past couple of years
and it had made a strong person.  Until that moment, I thought I was able
to handle anything.  I felt the tears start to stream down my face and I
could do nothing to make them stop.

"Shhh," Drew whispered as he grabbed my hand.  "It's going to be okay.  I
promise."

I didn't know what to feel.  Here was a man I had never met before telling
me I was going to be fine when it was his brother and friend that put me
there in the first place.  I almost started laughing at the absurdity of it
all.  A couple of minutes passed and he finally let go of my hand.

"So do you want to explain how I got here," I asked when I was finally able
to talk.

Just as Drew was about to say something, Mike walked in.  "The doc is on
his way," he announced.

"I should probably go," Drew said as he moved toward the door, clearly
uncomfortable with Mike in the room.  Although Mike is one of the sweetest
guys I know, he can look pretty intimidating when he wants to.

"No!" I said rather forcefully.  "You were going to explain to me why I'm
laid up in the hospital."

I glanced at Mike and he picked up on my idea.  He moved slightly toward
the door and crossed his arms across his chest.  It was good to have him in
my corner, especially his 210 pounds of muscle.

Drew stopped dead in his tracks, knowing he wasn't going to win this battle
without some form of confrontation.  He stood there for a moment, trying to
decide to address Mike or me.  He finally chose me and moved to the side of
the bed.

"I'm not going to excuse what Jeff did, but I understand it."  He paused,
perhaps waiting for Mike to say something.  When he heard the silence, he
slowly continued.  "See, we don't really live in the same world that you
do.  Everything we do is watched and critiqued.  We have people telling us
what to say and who to be seen with and it's not easy."  He must have
sensed what I was thinking because he continued quickly.  "I'm not saying
that it's not worth it.  I mean, we are getting to do the thing we love and
I'm lucky enough to be doing it with my brother.  But you just have to
realize that our world is different than yours."

Mike cut him off.  "Get to the point, Drew," he said with a decidedly
hostile tone.

Drew turned to Mike and glared.  "Okay, you want me to get to the point,"
he spat back.  "Here it is," he said, looking directly at Mike.
"Everywhere we go, we have people who treat us like we're long lost
friends.  We never know if it's because they like us or if it's because
they want something from us.  Because of that, we tend to keep to
ourselves.  See, Jeff and Nick have a friendship that's very strong.  It's
something that I've never seen before.  It's something I've always wanted
to have."

He stopped and looked down at me.  I could see the pain in his eyes.  It
was one of the saddest things I'd ever seen in another human being.  He
looked absolutely alone.  He looked like he had no one to turn to to let
out his anger and frustration.

"So Jeff came into the health club," I said quietly.

Drew nodded.  "And he lost it.  He'd do anything to protect Nick.  You were
in the way so he hit you.  He just wanted to help my brother."  A single
tear slipped down his cheek.

At that moment the doctor came flying in the door to check on me.  Drew,
obviously confused and embarrassed took the opportunity to escape.  As Drew
passed through the open door, I saw Mike follow him out.

Scene 3

It was Tuesday morning and I was pretty desperate to get out of the
hospital.  The doctor told me he would release me that afternoon but I was
going to have to take the rest of the week off from work.  Honestly, that
wasn't going to be a problem for me.  Working at the hotel was okay but it
wasn't a dream job for me.  I also didn't relish the thought of reliving
everything that had happened to me each time I saw someone else at work.

I was absentmindedly flipping through the channels on the TV and I must
have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew there was a woman kissing
me on the cheek.

"Jesus," I muttered.  "Are you trying to finish me off by scaring me to
death?"

I, of course, knew who it was.  When I opened my eyes I was looking at my
friend Sharon.  Sharon and I had met a little over two years ago.  She was
the Director of Guest Services at the hotel.  She told everyone she was 29
and one day I stole her wallet and found out that she was telling the
truth.  She is a tall, absolutely gorgeous black woman.  Growing up in a
city that is decidedly white made Sharon a tough, independent spitfire of a
woman.  She always knew exactly how to put me in my place.

"Listen, honey.  That's the only kiss you're going to get from a woman in
the next year so you better lie back and enjoy it."

"Bitch!" I retorted, trying not to laugh.

She looked down at me and saw the sling that was protecting my left
shoulder.  The laughter drained from her face.  "I didn't hear until last
night and it was after visiting hours.  I'm sorry I couldn't have been here
for you."  She again leaned down and kissed me again on the cheek.

"It's okay, really," I responded, trying to make her feel better.  "I was
kind of out of it until yesterday anyway so if you would have come all you
could have done is talk to my bodyguard anyway."

"So Mike was here?" she asked, almost rhetorically.

"Yeah, the lunkhead was here for something like 38 hours straight.  Once I
finally woke up I had to practically kick him out of here.  Chances are
he'll be back before I'm released this afternoon."

"So, do you want to hear all the gossip?" she grinned.  She was practically
bubbling with excitement.  "You definitely were the main topic of
conversation around the water cooler.  Well, you and Ally McBeal but I'll
spare you that part of the story."

"Oh, no!  I really hate it when people talk about me behind my back," I
said.  "So, what's the story?"

"Well," she began, "you know what kind of rumor mill the hotel is.  There
were about six different versions of the incident floating around.  I think
was favorite one had you trying to stop an armed robbery.  Like an armed
robber would stake a claim on someone working out at the hotel health club.
Hello?  Idiots?"

"Let me guess who was spreading that one," I interrupted.

"I am sworn to secrecy," she laughed.  "But I bet you can guess.  Anyway,
it got so bad the Executive Committee finally put out a memo."

"Great, I'm the subject of a memo now.  I'm never going to live this one
down."

"No, you're not.  And you know me well enough to know that I'm the person
who will be reminding you every chance I get."

"Of that," I said, "I have no doubt.  So what did the memo say?"

"Oh, I saved you a copy for your scrapbook," she said as she winked at me.
"It said you were attempting to administer first aid to a guest when you
were involved in an altercation with another guest.  It also said that you
were hospitalized and were expected to make a full recovery."

"An altercation?" I laughed.  "They call getting sucker punched and knocked
out an 'altercation'?"

"Well, they are trying to minimize the situation because they are afraid
you are going to sue," Sharon reasoned.  "I imagine Jeff Timmons is worried
about that as well."

"The police came by early this morning," I said.  "I told them I wasn't
going to press charges."

"Why not?" she asked, obviously surprised to hear me say that.  "If I were
you I'd."

Before she could continue I interrupted.  "Think about what you are about
to say.  I doubt you would do it either.  I just don't relish the thought
of going to court.  It would take too much out of me.  Not to mention the
media circus it would become.  As much as I want that bastard pay for
putting me here, I just want to forget this all happened."

Just after I said the words, I saw the figure standing in the doorway.
"He's not a bastard.  He was just trying to protect me."  It was Nick.  He
was wearing jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his upper body.  He also had a
bandage that was presumably covering the stitches on his left temple.

I didn't know what to say.  I didn't know if I felt bad because I had said
something that hateful about another person or if it was just because Nick
heard me say it.  One thing I always try to avoid is confrontation.  I knew
I had strong feelings about Jeff because of the way I screamed at him
yesterday.  I grew increasingly uncomfortable with the silence in the room.
I was hoping that Sharon would say something, but she was just looking down
at me.

Nick moved from his position in the doorway and stood at the end of the
bed.  He looked over at Sharon, giving her a look.  Being in charge of
Guest Services, I was confident that Sharon had already met Nick.  She
seemed to understand what Nick was silently asking her and she said, "Maybe
I'll go in search of a cup of coffee.  Does anyone else want anything?"
What that, she left the room, not even waiting for us to reply.

"He's not a bad guy," Nick said softly.  "He was just trying to protect
me."

"Too bad there wasn't anyone there protecting me," I said with hostility.

"Judging by the way your friends have rallied around you, it looks like you
have quite a few people protecting you," he responded.  "Drew told me that
your friend Mike never left your side when you were unconscious.  He also
said that Mike practically threatened him to keep Jeff away from you."

"Really?" I said out loud, even though I didn't really mean to.  "He
wouldn't do anything," I said.  "Not unless I was really in danger or
something.  He can come across intimidating as hell but he's not
dangerous."

With that statement, I knew I was trapped.  I could see Nick smiling
slightly.  He opened the door and I walked through on my own.  In my own
defense, I was a little groggy from the pain medication they had me on.

"So you see my point?" he inquired.

I nodded my head in surrender.

"See, Mike isn't any different from Jeff.  I'd say we're both pretty lucky
guys to have friends like that."  He paused for a moment to let that
thought sink in.

I nodded again.

"Don't you have professional guards?" I asked.

"Of course we do.  But Jeff and I have kind of a different relationship.
Each of us has relied on the other when things get rough, although it seems
like he does a lot more for me than I do for him."

In mid thought, Nick stopped.  It was almost as if he were assessing the
situation, trying to decide how much he wanted to reveal.  He stepped
around the side of the bed and sat down on the mattress,

"Alex, do you have a brother?" he asked.

"No," I replied.  "I don't have any brothers or sisters.  Why?"

"I love Drew dearly," he began, "but we haven't always had the best
relationship.  We've gotten past a lot of that, but there are still times
when it's not good.  Years ago, he and I had a major blow out.  Without
going into detail, let's just say I did some things that were pretty
inexcusable.  I caused a major rift in our family and neither of us thought
we could fix it."  He hesitated a moment, choosing his words carefully.  "I
had only known Jeff for a short time.  We were friends but we weren't that
close.  He took a big risk and jumped in the fray.  He was the one who got
me and Drew talking again.  He saved my family, Alex, and I'm lucky to have
him as a friend."

I felt like I should have said something but I couldn't.  Here I was,
listening to testimony that Jeff was a great guy when all I could think
about was the fact that he knocked me out.  After all, I was the one trying
to help Nick when he got hurt.  I started to wonder why I was the one laid
up in the hospital.

"He's not a bad guy, Alex," Nick repeated.

I don't know how long I was lost in thought, but Nick's words brought me
out of it.  "I understand what you are saying," I replied.  "I understand
probably more than you know, but it's really not as simple as just saying
he was protecting you.  I was unconscious for almost 24 hours, Nick.  Mike
was terrified I wasn't going to wake up.  That's not something I can just
let slide."  I was beginning to get visibly angry and Nick could see it.

"I know," he pleaded.  "Does it help to know that Jeff is beside himself
about all of this?"

"Frankly, no."

"But."

"But what, Nick?" I said.  Several seconds went by and I realized he wasn't
going to say anything.  I was feeling a bit drained by that point so I
said, "I can't talk about this anymore."

"Okay," he said, "but can I just ask you one more thing?"

"What?" I sighed.

"Will you talk to Jeff?" he said hesitantly.

"No!" I exclaimed without thought.  "I don't ever want to see him again!"

"He just wants to apologize, Alex.  Will you at least hear him out?"

"No," I said again.  "Tell him I'm not pressing charges against him but
that is all he should expect out of me."  I noticed I was starting to
breathe heavy.  The conversation was taking its toll on me.  Nick picked up
on it.

He reached out and grabbed my right hand and squeezed it.  "I'm sorry I
upset you.  And I'm sorry, from me, that we did this to you.  If there is
anything I can do for you, please call me."

With that, Nick stood up and turned to walk out the door.  As he got to the
door he looked back at me.  The glare from the florescent lights made it
hard to tell, but I thought I saw a tear slide down his cheek.

Scene 4

Almost 48 hours after I was knocked out at the hotel, I was sprung from the
hospital.  Naturally, I was ecstatic about getting out of the place.
Sharon had left about noon so she could make it to work by one.  I was
planning on calling a cab but as I was signing myself out I saw Mike
walking over to me.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?  Don't you have clients to train this afternoon?"

"First of all," he grinned, "you have an appointment scheduled for six
o'clock, which is in about 45 minutes.  Somehow I don't think you're going
to make it.  And don't think I'm not above billing you for not following my
cancellation policy."

"Smart ass," I grinned back.

He got serious all of a sudden.  "You really think I was going to let you
be home alone?  You just spent two days in the hospital."

"What?  A concussion, stitches, and a separated shoulder and suddenly I'm
McCauley Culkin?"  I tried to say it without laughing but I wasn't too
successful.

"Alright funny man.  Let's go."

Mike tore out the parking lot, driving with the same reckless abandon that
usually characterizes his skills behind the wheel.  It wasn't too far from
the hospital to my condo, which was a good thing because I was still in a
lot of pain.  Every bump or turn the car made caused me to wince.  My
shoulder was still pretty sore and I was glad that Mike was going to be
there for me.

Mike pulled into the parking lot of my building.  Once he stopped the
engine he jumped out and ran around the car to open the passenger side door
for me.  I tried to stifle the grin.  There was this huge bodybuilder doing
everything in his power to make me feel better.

"So," Mike said after we walked into my place, "what do you want to eat?"

"I'm fine, Mike.  I just want to sit down for awhile."

"No," came his reply.  After a pause, he said, "I mean, you can sit down
but you are going to have something to eat.  When was the last time you
ate?  Sometime this morning I imagine.  You're not going to get better if
you don't take care of yourself."

Before I could speak he disappeared into the kitchen, but only for a
moment.  "New plan," he stated.  "I'm going to the grocery store and then
we eat.  Are you going to be okay alone?"

"Yes, mother!" I said as sarcastically as possible.

He walked over to me and shot me an evil look.  "I'm the only mamma you've
got around here so you better get used to me."  He turned to walk out the
door.  "And trust me, Alex, you will be eating your vegetables tonight," he
yelled from the hallway.

I kicked off my shoes and flipped on the TV.  I was still a little confused
as to what day it was so I wasn't sure what I'd find.  I must have fallen
asleep on the couch because the next thing I knew I was jolted awake by the
sound of the phone ringing.  Fortunately, it was within reach of my one
good arm.

"Carrots and broccoli," I said into the receiver, thinking it was Mike
calling me from the grocery store on his cell phone.

"Huh?" I heard from an unfamiliar voice.

"Sorry," I chuckled.  "I thought you were someone else."

"Alex, please don't hang up.  This is Jeff."

For a split second my mind flashed back to the health club.  I could see
Jeff looking at me with hatred in his eyes just before he hit me.

"Alex, are you still there?" he said softly.

Gathering my thoughts, I finally pulled it together enough to speak.  "What
do you want?" I said viciously.

"I just want to talk.  Will you talk to me?"

"You know, Jeff," I said, "I don't think that's a very good idea.  I really
just want to forget this whole ordeal."

"Alex, I'm downstairs.  Please let me come apologize.  Please."

I grabbed my TV remote and turned on channel six.  My building has security
doors and a camera by the phone so you can see who is asking to be let in.
Through the grainy picture I could see Jeff hunched over, his hand resting
on the counter next to phone.

I was now seething.  "How did you find out where I live?"

"Your friend at the hotel told me."

"Like hell she did," I practically screamed.  "Sharon would never do that."

"Okay," he confessed.  "I had our management track you down.  Please," he
said.  I could here the sobs through his voice.  "I need to explain."

Neither of us spoke for about twenty seconds.  The only sound was Jeff
crying.  I could see his image on the TV screen in front of me.  "Please,"
he finally whispered.

My heart sank.  I knew I could never forgive myself for sending him away in
that condition.  I couldn't do to him what he had done to me.

"It's number 1403," I said as I buzzed him in.

It took Jeff longer than I thought it would to get to my door.  I imagine
he was trying to pull himself together.  I finally heard to soft rap on the
door.  Without waiting for my response he let himself in.  He walked in to
find me still sitting on the couch, staring at the TV picture of the empty
lobby of my building.

"I'm sorry," he said simply.  I turned my head to look at him.  His eyes
were still red from the tears that had flowed just moments ago.  In fact,
he looked as though he was about to cry at that very moment.

"What do you want to say?" I said flatly, trying to disguise the emotion in
my voice.

"I...I..." he stammered.

There was a long, awkward pause.  Then we both heard the front door open.
Jeff looked at me with a puzzled look on his face, not sure who had
entered.  I heard Mike carry the groceries into the kitchen.  I looked past
Jeff and saw Mike enter the room.

"What the fuck!" Mike yelled.

Mike's words were enough to startle Jeff but they didn't give him enough
time to respond.  Before I could speak, Mike was lunging at Jeff.