Date: Sun, 26 Nov 2000 20:06:57 -0800 (PST) From: Reilly Enis <enis1220@yahoo.com> Subject: What I Want Is What I've Got Chapter 5(Gay/Celeb/BoyBand) DISCLAIMER: This story is FICTION. This is not a reflection on the Backstreet Boys, Westlife, and Boyzone or their sexuality. This is a gay story, I don't know them , and don't know anything about their sexual preference. It is complete fiction and should not be taken seriously just merely a source of entertainment. This has a homosexual theme so if you are offended by this go see another story more appropriate for your taste. Note: This story will not be nsync friendly. Side Note: Some people have asked me how I got the name for the story. It's a Westlife song on the European album, unfortunately it's not on the American one. This is why I have to shell out 20 dollars more to get the American album when it came out for one bloody song. What I Want Is What I've Got By: Enis Chapter 5 Backstreet Boys Point Of View "The Westlife boys are pretty cool, don't you think?" Kevin says looking directly at Brian. "Yeah Bryan and Kian are a cute couple like me and you Kevin." Nick says smiling at Kevin. `Yeah we're a cute couple, you seem to think that today, but what about last night. No stop!! Kevin he just didn't hear you say your feelings.' Kevin thinks privately to himself, blocking out everyone else's conversation. "You seemed very enthralled with Mark today Brian. You never stopped talking to him, I don't think you even noticed anyone else was in the room." Deana says not even looking up from cleaning the room. " Who me? Deana I wasn't enthralled, he was just talking to me.... Geez... are you implying something?" Brian says in a very sarcastic tone to Deana. Knowing the minute the words came out of his mouth Deana would be mad. "Listen here you little B-rat, no one gets sarcastic with me. I am the only one who is allowed to get sarcastic, now go to your damn room and calm down. I will be in there when I finish cleaning up, to talk about the attitude problem you seem to be having with everyone lately." Deana says yelling at the top of her lungs signifying she was seriously pissed. Brian leaves the room, knowing not to fight with Deana when she raises her voice. She would not let him get away with arguing back she would make sure to make him miserable for being such an ass all the time. He knew, he has been an ass, and deserves all the yelling he got and the much more that is coming to him. Arguing would just make her more furious, this was his best friend and he knew he was doing something wrong if she yelled. "Angel why did you snap at Brian. You never yell at anyone, your the calmest out of all of us." Nick says walking over to Deana to see if she's okay. "Nick leave her alone she's not feeling well, she was throwing up again this morning. She can't seem to get rid of the flu she has." A.J. says walking over to Deana to hug her. "You go talk to Brian okay Deana and don't get yourself worked up I'll meet you back in my room." A.J. kisses Deana and lets her leave. "Maybe all the sex you two have is finally catching up with her. Maybe Angel is realizing you disgust her and it makes her sick to wake up to your face." Howie says laughing hysterically, in turn getting Nick to laugh as well. "Shut up D, Angel loves me and I love her. There is nothing wrong with waking up to my face." "Alex man, you've become such a sap, what happened to that bad boy image of yours." Kevin says finally entering the conversation. " Listen to what you just said Train it's an image. I don't sleep around, never have and never will. Deana is the only one I ever slept with and I don't plan on sleeping with anyone else" A.J. says getting smug about the whole thing. "Your kidding Aje, you were a virgin when you were with Angel. I never would of guessed." Nick says after finally stopping from laughing. " Yeah sure we were our each others firsts, and we cherish that (AWH!!!!!!!!!!!!). That's our special bond we love each other. I may even marry her some day." "Bone, you have been dying your hair too much. I think the dye is seeping into your brain and causing damage." Howie says playing around with his friend. "Leave me alone, al right you guys are just jealous that we have someone to love." A.J. says starting to get defensive. " What do you call Nick and Kevin huh?" Howie says pointing to the couple. Kevin looks up, upset at Howie for his remark and then runs out of the room on the verge of tears. "Kaos what's his problem?" Howie says looking at the door Kevin has just run out of. " I don't know D, he's been weird for awhile and he hasn't said anything to me about it. I try and talk about it but you know how he is secluded and everything." Nick says looking down at the ground, starting his own fresh tears. "I'm gonna talk to him, see if he talks to me maybe." Howie says about to walk out of the room. "Thanks Howie, I'm gonna finish cleaning up." Kevin : ` Why am I acting like this. He has to love me we've been together for a year already now. Why would he be with me if he didn't love me? Great I'm in a crowded lobby crying my eyes out in only my boxers, everyone is looking at me like I'm nuts, and the greatest of all Howie is coming off the elevator to be his peacemaker self.' "Hey Kev, are you all right you rushed out of the room pretty fast. Kev are you crying?" Howie says kneeling down in front of Kevin's seat to be eye level. "Howie just leave me alone, I don't need you to make me all better. I'm not one of the young ones I can handle my problems." "Kev, now I know something is upsetting you. You never get an attitude with me. You certainly would never come down to a lobby to cry in only your boxers either." "D, please I need to be left alone. I need to think by myself." Kevin says looking down at his bare feet. "No.... Kevin come up to my room, you don't need to be crying in a crowded lobby, when you can be upstairs talking to me." Howie grabbed Kevin's arm and pulled him towards the elevator. When they got in the elevator, Kevin broke down crying again. Howie pulled him into a hug letting him cry. They went into Howie's room and Howie let him cry until he was done. " Are you ready to talk now Kevin?" "Yeah Howie, look I'm sorry for going off on you in the lobby. I'm just a little upset with Nicky, it's probably nothing but he never tells me he loves me. I tell him all the time and he never answers. I find myself making excuses for him not saying it, but deep down in my heart I know he's ignoring it." Kevin begins crying again. Howie makes his way over to Kevin and holds him till he stops crying. "Kevin I'm sure he loves you. He doesn't hate you that's for sure. Maybe he's just scared to say that a lot of people are." Howie says trying to comfort his friend. "Or maybe he's been using me for sex all this time?" Kevin says getting choked up. Howie looks at Kevin shocked for saying something like that. " But if he was using you for sex, why would he let you fuck him?" " Howie I barely fuck him. He's the one who always gets to you know. I mean I always ask him too, probably cause he never asks me to do it to him." "Your kidding right. I always thought you as the top. Damn that's a switch the daddy is more like the mommy." Howie says laughing trying to liven up the mood. " No.... He.... I guess if your giving labels he's the top. I don't really care as long as we're together. I don't care about sex, he makes me happy but lately I've been having doubts and it's eating me up inside that he might not love me." Kevin begins to cry once again. "It's okay Kevin to feel this way. You love him, you always have, ever since he was a scrawny 13 year old. Maybe it would be helpful to talk to him about your feelings. You might be surprised at the conclusion. Maybe he just can't say the words." "Yeah or he just is using me for sex?" Howie hugs Kevin tightly kissing him on the top of his head. " Don't talk like that Kevin, he loves you I know it. Now come on we have to get ready to hang out with those Westlife boys." Howie says pulling Kevin off the bed. " Let me guess, your hunting one of them. I swear we should change you to the bad boy and A.J. to the Angel and the Latin Lover. We sure do get our images mixed up don't we?" " Hey come on Kev, I'm not that bad. I find someone once and awhile that I actually find attractive and interesting so let me have my fun." " Okay let's go, I guess we are doing everything in my room as always." "Yeah hopefully Nick kept his word and cleaned up. But I'm pretty sure he didn't." Howie says joking with Kevin. "I'm really sorry I ran out like that. I should have stayed and cleaned up." " Kev, stop being the perfectionist and just relax, we can handle ourselves. We are all grown men although sometimes I worry about Nick and Brian. But you've turned Nick into a responsible person ever since you two got together." " Yeah I guess I did. Next time though when I run out to cry, remind me to put clothes on?" " Yeah I don't think everyone in the lobby appreciated seeing you half nude. But I could always throw you outside and leave you to the fans." "Then you can explain to management why there are only 4 Backstreet Boys, and why little girls have pieces of my body on their walls." "Come on Mr. Funny man, we gotta get ready to see those Westlife boys. You should talk to Nick though, but do it when your feelings are straight. No pun intended!" " Just get going D, I know you wanna look good for the lifers so which one is it by the way?" " I'm not going to tell you, you'll have to see me work my magic." Brian's Room: Brian sits in the room waiting for Deana to come in and rag on him. The door knocks and opens with Deana storming in. "What the hell is you problem. I was only joking with you and you snap at me something I might add you never do. Also last night I see you leaving for the 3rd time this week. What is going on with you Brian?" " Angel I have not been sleeping. I am lonely, no one loves me. I want someone for me, like you and A.J., Nick and Kevin have. I miss being with someone." " Why don't you get back with Howie. You two both don't have someone." Fear flickers in Brian's eyes for a second and leaves realizing himself. " That was Lust, not love. We were only together to relieve our sexual tensions it meant nothing to us. Besides I tried two weeks ago all he's interested in is sex." " I'll yell at you later for just giving him that but for now. What about Mark you seemed enthralled with him and so did he. He was flirting with you the whole time." " No he wasn't. I like him, he captures something in me but he's not gay. He just is very nice, he wasn't flirting with me. I don't get guys I want, I always get the people I would never see myself with. That and the 12 year old girls that throw themselves at me." Brian says sighing at his lonely predicament. " Well come on, get dressed we are hanging out in Kev's room with the lifers. Although Mark would probably like you in that outfit that you have on now, or maybe even less." Deana says giggling at the way she can make Brian blush. " Stop Angel, he doesn't like me like that, now get out of my room so I can change." Brian tries to push her out the door. "It's nothing I haven't seen Brian. You all don't seem to care who sees you in the nude when changing in between performances." " I don't care get out. I have to get ready to watch movies with you boring people." Brian closes the door in Deana's face. " And that gorgeous Markus." Brian lets out a long sigh as he thinks of Markus while getting changed. " Oh great now I have a hard on. I can't go like this." Brian goes into the bathroom and releases the tension still think of Markus. "If only he liked me. If only.... Please send feedback to enis1220@yahoo.com I would really appreciate it! Thanx Now I need To Thank Some People: SchuyDncer - Thank you for helping me it means a lot. I also love your story and I hope mine can be as good as yours some day. Deana - Thank you for loving the story and helping me with what I should do. You helped me write it so I'm in debt to you. Ellis - To my sister I love you "no matter what". You give me inspiration to write and I love you for that. You are what encouraged me to write in the first place. I love you, even though we have to share the same birthday, room, and womb. K-Magic - Your story is great and I hope to see it updated soon and I like it even though it's Nsync so that says a lot. I hope some day I'm as good as a writer as you are. Colleen- You are the first person to give me feedback and I thank you. I didn't think anyone liked it so it was nice to see someone did. Hopefully there will be more a long the way.