Date: Sat, 22 Apr 2000 05:28:24 -0500
From: Angel Lenoir <angel_lenoir@angelfire.com>
Subject: What is love? 1
DISCLAIMER: This is a homosexual story about two consenting adults. This
story in no way implies that any member of NSYNC is gay. To tell the
truth, there are only five people that know that answer for sure. However,
those of us who don't can always fantasize. BTW, if you're not of age then
take your finger, hit the back button on your browser, and get your little
tail out of here. Also if you feel that this type of story is perverted or
wrong, then don't read any further. However maybe if you did then you'd
realize the mistake that you've made and follow those of us who are in
control of ourselves. :p
Okay now that the legal stuff is out of the way. This is my third story.
I have a couple of others out floating about, but that's for you to find
out where they are! Anyway, quick shout out to a friend of mine.
Henry, you're awesome man. I enjoy our conversations. Without you I don't
think that this story would have gotten written.
So sit back, relax, unbutton your pants, and get ready for a story that I'm
going to try to knock your pants off with.
What is love?
I
"The eight caller with the winner to tonight's trivia question will
receive two backstage passes to meet NSYNC in the Alltel Arena. Now listen
carefully. Which song of NSYNC's stayed at number one on MTV's TRL for
over a month?"
"Hmm, that could be one of two songs." I thought as the announcer
went on with the question. "This song was also dedicated to their mothers
for all the times that they've been there."
"I know it! I know it!" I yelled as I jumped for the phone and
dialed the number for the radio station. "What caller am I?" I yelled as
the station picked up.
"Well you're caller number 8!"
"Hell yeah!" I shouted.
"My a little happy are we? Are you sure that you know the answer?"
the DJ asked.
"Yeah, the answer is "God Must Have Spent A Little More Time on
You"", I said.
"That's correct, we have a winner! May I have your name sir?"
"Yeah, my name's Angel. Angel Lenoir."
"Well Angel, what are you going to do with these passes?"
Suddenly realizing how bad it looked for a guy to be on a local
radio station winning backstage passes to a boy band, I thought quickly.
"I'm going to give them to my sisters. They're a big fan of the group and
since I didn't have any money I figured what better gift then to try to win
them some tickets to see their favorite group in the world?"
"Well Angel, that's awfully nice of you. I'm sure that you're
sisters are going to love you for that. Now if you'll stay on the phone
our management will set up all the details."
"Is this Angel?" a female voice asked in a matter of seconds.
"Yes it is. Who's this?"
"This is Veronica. I'm in charge of PR for the station. I just
have a couple of questions that I need to be answered and then you're all
set."
"First off what names need to go on the passes?"
"Names? Uh, well I haven't decided who I'm going to take with me
yet. Is there anyway that I can leave one of them blank?"
"Well Angel I do need at least one name. I'm assuming that you're
going to take the other ticket right? Is there anyone that you'd like to
take with you? If you can't think of anyone right now, then we can always
call back and confirm the name of the other guest. Also I need your phone
number so that we can get a hold of you. Also will you be coming in to get
the passes or shall we mail them to you?"
"Well I'm going to be kind of busy this week. I guess that I'll
need for you to mail them to me. They will be here before the concert
right?"
"No problem there."
"Well in that case here's my number and address." As I was giving
her all the information I noticed my friend Kim glaring at me. "Okay, and
thanks a lot." I said as I hung up the phone.
"Don't know who you're going to take with you, huh?" Kim growled.
"I'll tell you who'd you better take with you if you know what's good for
you."
"Who's that, Kim?" I asked innocently.
"You're looking at her. Ms. Tall, Dark, and Beautiful herself."
"Oh my mom's home? I didn't hear her come in," I managed to get
out before a pillow connected with my head.
"Bitch," I laughed as I threw the pillow back at her.
"That's Ms. Bitch to you bud and don't you forget it," she said as
she snagged the pillow out of the air. "Now seriously, who are you taking?
And you'd better get it right this time," she said as she brandished the
pillow once again.
"Okay, okay. I'll take you. I'll call them tomorrow and let them
know."
Okay, let me take some time here to explain something. Most of you
are probably wondering why a guy would be so excited about going to see
NSYNC. I mean most guys that I know wouldn't be caught at a boy band
concert for fear of being labeled gay. Well I didn't have that fear.
Everyone already knew about me. Well not that I was gay, but that I was
bisexual. Kim was the first person that I'd come out to. I was afraid
that she was going to be disgusted with me, but instead she just sat down
on the bed and hugged me. I cried for the first time in over a year that
night. Since then Kim and I had been the best of friends. It was thanks
to her that I finally had the courage to come out to my parents, and she
was the one that stood behind me when my parents threw me out of their
lives. I never knew that Kim had a temper, but that night she showed her
Irish side. I think that she flayed every inch of my parents with her
tongue and would have kept on going if I hadn't broken down and ran out of
the house. I haven't talked with my parents since then, and that was over
8 months ago. Well to make a long story short, Kim became my rock as did
the rest of my friends. It seemed that most of them had already guessed
what I was hiding. I was even pleasantly surprised to find out that my
friend Jon was bisexual as well. It was through their support that I
finally realized that as much as it hurt, if my parents couldn't accept me
as who I was then I didn't need them. Now as I looked over at Kim, I was
reminded of the other thing that had kept me going all these long months;
music. I had always been a big fan of NSYNC's but it was during this time
that I realized who much of an impact some of their music had on people.
When I was down all I had to do was pop in one of their CD's and in minutes
I was back to my joyful carefree self. I started to get involved with the
campus music group, and was surprised to find that I still had a singing
voice after all. Within weeks I was back in practice, and was being
offered the leads in several concerts. However something was missing in my
life. As much as my friends were there, I was still lonely. Ever where I
looked someone had a partner. I'd gone 21 years without one and was
beginning to feel like I'd never have one at all. And it didn't help that
I had a major crush on some people who would never find out. Then it hit
me.
"Kim, what if I do something wrong? What if they find out that I'm
bi? What if they hate me because of it and throw me out?"
"Angel, calm down. It's okay. It won't happen. I'll be there
with you, and if they try to throw you out they'll have to go through me
first. I think I can handle them don't you?'
I tried to picture this 100 pound girl holding back security, and I
couldn't help it as I started laughing.
"Gee I guess that's all us black folk are good for is comedy
relief." Kim said as she watched me laughing.
"I'm sorry, it's just you holding back three 300 pound guys. You
have to admit it is kind of funny."
"Okay, okay. I'll admit it is funny, but you better not
underestimate what I can do." Kim said with a laugh.
"Underestimate you? Never, you'd talk me out of it!"
"Well anyway sweetie, I have to get back to my room."
"Why not stay here tonight? Jim won't be back and it's not like
Jessica's going to run you out or anything." See sometimes there are
advantages to living in a co-ed dorm, and this was one of them. Many times
I'd stayed in Kim's room or she'd stayed in mine when our roommates weren't
there.
"Sure, why not. This way you won't forget to call and have my name
put on the other pass, now will you?" Kim said as she pulled back the
covers and crawled into bed.
"Now would I do a thing like that?" I asked as got ready for bed.
"Yeah you would. Now go to sleep." She said as she turned off the
light.
"Kim?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"For everything. Without you being here I don't think I'd have
been able to go on." I said as tears started to trickle down my cheeks.
Within seconds Kim was in the bed gathering me up into a hug.
"There, there. Don't cry Angel. It's okay." Kim murmured as she
stroked my hair. It wasn't long before I'd drifted off to sleep.
"What are you doing here? I thought that I told you that I never
wanted to see you again?"
"But mom, I'm your son. Why can't you accept the way that I am?"
"Because it's wrong. You're going to hell and I don't want to be
associated with you. From the moment that I brought you in this world I
knew that there was something wrong with you. I just could never figure
out what it was."
"How can you say something like that? I'm your son dammit. Don't
you still have some shred of love left for me?"
"Love? What is love? Is love the feeling of having your heart
torn out when your only son tells you that he's gay?"
"But mom, I'm not gay! I'm bisexual."
"Sure you say that now, but have you ever been interested in girls?
Why have you never dated anyone before? Dammit you're 21 years old and
you've never even had a girlfriend! How in the hell can you sit there and
tell me that you're not gay?"
"But I'm not gay mom. I'm bisexual. You might not be able to
accept it right now, but I do pray that you'll accept it someday. And I
just want you to know that I still love you."
"Oh what a laugh. Little fag boy still loves his mother. Why
don't you go and blow that smoke up someone else's ass. I don't believe
you anymore. I can't believe that I'd ever loved you. Well that's a
problem that I can remedy right now." With those words she reached into
her chest and brought out here heart. "Here, do you want to step on it
some more? It won't feel anything any more. You've already broken it."
With those words she dropped the heart and I started screaming.
"Angel, wake up. It's okay. It's only a dream." I heard a voice
saying. With a start I woke up to look up into Kim's concerned face. "It
was only a nightmare. It's okay now." She said as I started to cry.
Gathering me up in her arms, I just laid my head on her shoulder and cried
until I could cry no longer. "Want to talk about it baby?" she asked as I
finally quit crying.
I just shook my head no. As she got up to go back to her bed, I
grabbed her. "Please don't go."
"Okay," I won't she promised as she hugged me again. "I'll stay
here until you go back to sleep."
The next morning I woke up to a warm body curled around mine. As I
looked down I noticed a black arm draped across my chest. I tried to avoid
waking Kim up as I left the bed, but I must not have done a good job of it.
I heard her sit up as I headed to the bathroom. As I washed my face I
looked in the mirror. "Damn," I thought as I noticed the black bags under
my eyes, "I look like I haven't slept in over a week." After putting in my
contacts I looked back in the mirror. The face looking back at me had
often been called cute. Shoulder length blonde hair, brown eyes, and a
face that looked like it had seen too much of the world looked back at me.
"Hey babe, are you almost through in there? You're almost as bad
as a girl, and I still have to pee, " a voice hollered breaking my
concentration.
"What? Oh yeah, hold on one second. I'll be right out." I hollered
back. As I grabbed my razor I squeezed out the door as Kim rushed through
the door.
"And don't forget to call the radio station," she hollered as she
closed the door.
With a sigh, I went over to the phone and dialed the number.
"KTLR, how may I help you?" a voice said over the receiver.
"I need to speak with Veronica or someone in PR."
"Well Veronica won't be back in until tonight, but I can let you
talk to Michael."
"Okay, that'll be fine."
"May I ask who's calling?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Angel Lenoir. I won the backstage passes last
night and I need to let them know the name of the other person who's going
to go with me."
"Okay, one moment please."
Within about thirty seconds a guy's voice picked up.
"Mr. Lenoir? My name is Michael. I hear that you made up your
mind for the other person already?"
"Yes sir. The name of the other person will be Kim Blanche."
"Thank you very much sir, and I'd like to congratulate you once
again on your winnings."
"Thank you." I said as I hung up the phone. "Well its taken care
of," I said as Kim came out of the bathroom, "Now shall we go treat
ourselves to breakfast?"
The week just seemed to fly by. As I finished up my choir
practice, I quickly gathered up my things and prepared to leave the room.
"Oh, Angel, may I speak with you for a minute?" Dr. Helmsley said
as I prepared to leave the room.
"Well I am in a hurry, but if it won't take too long I don't see
why not."
"Good. Angel to tell you the truth, I have a small favor to ask of
you."
"Oh really? And what might that be?"
"Well I know that this is short notice, but you do know that
there's a concert in the Alltel Arena tonight right?"
"Yeah the NSYNC concert," I replied.
"Well you see the city thought that it'd be a good idea if we had
someone from the area take the group out afterwards. You know show them
around and such. How familiar are you with the Little Rock area?"
"Well Dr. Helmsley, since I've lived there all my life I can
honestly say that I know it very well. Why?"
"Well you see I was supposed to do it, but I have to go out of town
tonight. I have to get a replacement, so I figured that since they were
musicians like yourself that maybe you'd like to help me out?"
"You mean that you want me to escort NSYNC around tonight?"
"Well actually you'd be starting this afternoon around 3:30"
"3:30? That only gives me two hours to get ready! I have to get
going!"
"I take it that's a yes then?"
"Hell yeah that's a yes." I yelled as I ran out of the door. I was
in the hall before I realize what I'd just said. "Uh sorry," I said
sheepishly as I stuck my head back in the door.
"That's quite alright. Now get out of here, or you'll never be
ready."
I was at my dorm in about three minutes. I'm sure that people
would be talking about the blur that had passed them for a couple of days.
As I reached the room I through my stuff down on my bed and hopped into the
closet. After about 15 minutes of searching I finally came out with
something that was presentable. Rushing to the shower, I ran into Kim.
"Kim, I'm not going to be able to ride with you to the concert
tonight."
"Oh man. What's happened?"
"Oh nothings happened. I just have to do Dr. Helmsley a favor. I
have to be in Little Rock by 3:30."
"Your ticket is in the room. You remember where we put them
right?"
"Yeah."
"Well I have to take a shower, and then get going. I'll see you
there!"
Within about 30 minutes I was on the road. Luckily Dr. Helmsley
had called and left me the name of the hotel that I was supposed to meet
the guys at. I'd been in such a hurry that I'd forgotten all about needing
it. Luckily it was a place that I'd worked a couple of summers at, so I
knew that I'd have no trouble finding it. At 3:30 sharp I pulled up in the
hotel parking lot. As I jumped out I gave the guy the keys, and walked
into the hotel. As I approached the desk I noticed that the hotel seemed
to have called in some extra security.
"Hey Laura. How's it going?"
"Angel? What in the world are you doing here? I thought that you
were in school this semester?"
"I am, but I how could I be in Little Rock and resist coming and
seeing someone as pretty as you?"
"Okay, you can quit the flattery right there young man. I'm old
enough to be your grandma. I don't need to be getting those kinds of
notions at my age. Now what can I do for you?"
"Well Laura I believe that I'm supposed to be meeting some of your
guests."
"Oh really? You know of course that I'll have to have a room
number before I can give you any phone numbers?"
"I know dear. If I remember right they're staying in rooms 1010
through 1014."
As I gave her the numbers of the rooms, she got a frown on her face
and looked back up at me. "Okay honey, I have to ask this. How'd you get
those room numbers? Some very important people book those rooms. I don't
think that I can let you have the numbers. I'm going to have to call Bob
out here and get him to okay it."
"Okay, hon. I understand. Just hurry please I'm already sort of
late as it is."
"It'll only take a minute," she said as she picked up the phone.
"Hey Bob, I have Angel here and he says that he's supposed to be
meeting some guests? Oh he is? She did? Well I'm glad that someone told
me about it! I was ready to send him back outside."
"So what's the verdict?"
"He says to go on up and that they're waiting for you in room
1012."
"Okay, thanks a lot hon if there's ever anything that I can do for
you just let me know about it."
"Well there is something that you can do for me."
"Oh? What's that?"
"Would you mind getting their autographs for my granddaughter?
She'd be upset if she ever found out that I had the opportunity and didn't
take it."
"Sure, anything to make sure that she's happy. I'll talk to you
later Laura."
"Sure, hon, you go have fun with your group."
As I made my way up to the room I looked at my watch. "Shit I
thought. It's already 3:45. Aren't I going to look like a good tour
guide. I can't even show up on time."
Finally the door to the elevator opened and I stepped out. Quickly
heading down the hall, I found the door to the room. Seeing it ajar, I
started to knock when I heard voices inside.
"Dammit, first we get told that our guide had to go out of town,
and now the replacement guide is late. I wonder what their problem is."
"Justin calm down."
"Calm down? Why in the hell should I? I mean we go out and bust
our balls for everyone. We get a little bit of time to ourselves and this
Angel dude isn't even here on time. By the way, what kind of name is
Angel? It sounds like something that one of our stupid fans would come up
with."
With those words I couldn't help it. See I'd always been sensitive
about my name, but it was mine. I wasn't going to change it. That didn't
prevent me from getting mad though. Before I thought about what I was
doing I pushed the door open.
"The name is one that my mother picked out when she thought that
she wouldn't have any more children. And as to the remark about stupid
fans, just remember if it wasn't for those stupid fans then you wouldn't be
the big shots that you are today. Remember you're there for the fans, not
the fans for you. So if you're through with all of your bitching, would
you kindly follow me and we can get this tour over with." I said as I
turned around and heading toward the elevator. As I hit the button horror
and shock came over me. "Had I really just told of my idol? One of the
guys that I'd had a crush on forever?" As tears started to roll down my
cheeks I punched the button rapidly. As the doors started to open, I
quickly pushed my way in relieved that there was no one in it. As the
doors were starting to close, an arm shot through and opened them back up.
Looking up through tears, I noticed the brightest blue eyes peering down at
me.
"I'm sorry," he said before I could say anything.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" I asked in disbelief. "I was the one
that went off on you."
"Yeah, but I shouldn't have said what I did. I've just been a
little up tight. Will you accept my apology?"
"Only if you'll accept mine."
"Okay it's a deal then, on one condition."
"Oh, what's that?"
"You have to come back and introduce yourself to us properly.
After all you are our guide still."
"Well I guess you have a point there. And since I am the tour
guide, if you behave yourself I might even take you to one of my favorite
places in town." I said with a smile.
"Well in that case I'll try to behave." Justin said as he helped me
to my feet. "Now come on, you still have to meet the others."
Okay guys, I know what you're going to say. Not very realistic is it?
However since this is a fantasy then I can make it happen anyway that I
want to right? Any way there was no sex in this chapter. There will
probably be no sex in the next couple of chapters either. I'm trying to
build a story here, not a sex pot. I apologize if you don't feel that I'm
doing a good job. However I will welcome all comments, suggestions, and
such. All that I must ask is that you don't flame me. If you do flame me,
then you'll get a nice lengthy letter back from me in which I'll probably
talk about everything under the sun from your mother to your dog, if you
have a dog, and then some. So believe me when I say that it's not worth
your time or mine. After all I have several more chapters to think up.
Anyway hope that you like it. Until next time, live long, prosper, and may
your jeans split in the right direction.