Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 23:44:55 -0400
From: downlikeastone@msn.com
Subject: When It's Over Part 1

DISCLAIMER: This is story is a work of fiction and in no way is meant to
apply anything about the sexuality of Lance Bass or any other celebrities
in the story.  I don't know them and don't know any one that does. Also, if
you are not of legal age in your area to read stories of this theme, or do
not enjoy/are offended by stories that contain gay relationships/ sex, then
please find something else to read.  The author takes no responsibility for
any one who reads this.

When It's Over - Part 1

It was another award show, none of them could remember which one anymore.
In the past year they had played or attended all of them, and now they all
ran together, a blurred memory.  Tonight they were supposed to play their
latest single, some hard punk tune with a catchy chorus about being an
awkward teenager that the drummer wrote.  They had only put it on the album
when they realized it was the only song he had written that was even being
considered by the rest of the band.

In the past year they had been yanked out of the fun punk scene in Kentucky
that had pushed them.  Some choices had been made, some calls place, and
they were on the road.  They went right into a small tour to get some
offers.  Nobody in the band had ever expected them to get an offer, let
alone make an album.  But they did, and it started to sell.  A small stint
on Ozzfest had won them a small group of fans, a couple even managed to
follow them around, though the group never knew why.  They had always just
seen themselves as weekend musicians, playing when the real lives got hard.

Now they were about to go out on stage a play for hundreds of the real
musicians and industry insiders, and on network television for the whole
world, and things could be going better.  Jody wasn't having a good month.
Being the lead singer he got all the attention, good and bad.  He was the
one the fans recognized and the one the critics belittled at every turn.
And to be honest he was feeling a little lonely.

The rest of the band had all gotten to be good friends over the years and
were now thoroughly enjoying the time on the road, being young and
unpredictable.  But Jody had gone through that.  He had partied in high
school and parts of college, and what he had been looking for had been a
normal life with some music in it, and he had gotten a year either in the
studio or on the road.  He could hear the announcer letting the audience
know they were coming back from commercial.  The guest host, some kid from
a bad teen summer comedy, was introducing them when he stopped the rest of
the band.

"You guys up for an impromptu performance?"  He questioned not really
looking at them.

"Oh Jesus, what did you have planned, Jode?" Brad the drummer with the bad
taste in music asked.  Jody immediately cringed hearing the nickname a boss
at work had placed on him sometime earlier.

"I'm not exactly in the mood for something so..." Jody started looking for
the right word.

"Poppy?" Jeremy asked while playing with the string on his bass guitar.

"Yeah.  How about 'Vacant'*, that one feels good."  Jody said, being
somewhat vacant himself.

"You know, I doubt they want us to play a cover at an awards show..."  Brad
chimed in, obviously proud that his song was their big hit and wanting to
perform it.  But then thinking better of pissing off Jody before going on
stage, and he simply shook his head with the rest of the band.

So they went out.  The lights were horrible and a film of sweat covered
Jody's tired body before he managed to get to the mic.  He seemed a little
bored with the whole thing to the rest of the band, but no one in the
audience seemed to mind.

"I know we should probably play the hit the radio's have been playing,
what's it called?  Oh yeah, "Oh Well" or something like that."  He started,
trying his best at humor, but the crowd seemed a little disheartened that
the band wouldn't play the hit.  "But, we like to break the rules, so we
are going to play a song very near and dear to my heart, it's a cover of a
cover."  And with that the familiar bass line started and Jody knew he
could at least vent some tension with this song, even if the original
singer was out in the crowd, making him just that much more nervous.

"Dead as Dead can be."

Jody started to sing the words.  Jeremy noticed for the first time that the
beginning of this song was like the person in shock after finding out how
horrible a person they were in love with, like when you find out your girl
has been sleeping around, that initial shock.  But at the same time, it was
almost like Jody was lashing out at the industry, the same on that had made
them money, made them famous, as he sang he looked out over them, his eyes
full of what could best be described as an apathetic hate, a hate he didn't
feel was important enough for this.

"From what the doctor tells me But I just can't believe him Prefer the
optimistic one I'm sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy

Wake up to face me rise up and show me someday I'll say you're vacant and
maybe you're better off this way

Leaning over you here cold and catatonic I catch a brief reflection of what
you could and might have been It's your right and your ability ... My
perfect enemy"

The band could feel the tension coming from the front of the satge wear
Jody was pacing nervously, they knew right then and there that this
performance was either going to make or break their entire career.  The
entire crowd was being to get nervous, too.  They could tell Jody was about
let loose of something he was holding in, but none of them knew whether it
would be good or bad.  Suddenly the tempo picked back up and Jody was
singing much louder, if you didn't know better you would think this was the
end of the song, but Jody had other plans.

"Wake up again to face me rise up and show me Someday I'll say you're
vacant and maybe you're better off this way"

The temp slowed a bit as Jody began to lightly chant the phrase over and
over again, the band waited for their cue to back into the heavier riffs,
but i never seem to come, instead Jody was almost whispering into the mic
at this point.

"Maybe you're better off this way People better off this way You're better
off this way You're better off this You're better off this"

The crowd was leaned forward in the chairs waiting for something, anything,
an end, an explosion, pretty much anything.  Then suddenly, as if he just
remembered Jody started to bounce to the slow beat of the music.  The band
had barely picked up on the cue when Jody slightly turned and made a small
gesture with his hand, telling the band to pick up the pace some.

The crowd seemed to tense, and then it just exploded out of the band.

"Maybe you're better off Wake up again to face me, come on and Rise up, why
can't you show me show me Some day I'll say you're vacant and maybe you're
better off this way"

The tone in Jody's voice almost seemed to accuse the entire crowd of being
the worst person he had ever met, and was convincing enough that they
almost believed him.  He held nothing back from them, he threw out every
bit of tension and pain he had ever felt, put everything he had out there
to them, and dared them to do anything at all.

"Go ahead and face it I know that you can hear this Go ahead and face it I
know that you can hear me Why can't you turn and face me Why can't you turn
and face me Why can't you turn and face me"

By the ending lines, he was literally screaming at them.  The everyone
knew, that something has just happened, but no one was sure what.  But,
Jody did.  He had made his decision, he wasn't going to hold back anymore,
everything was coming out now.  Everything he had ever seen, felt, heard,
or touched.  Every memory, emotion, every prick of pain, he was gonna share
with them, anyone who would listen.  But he wondered if anyone else would
follow, would understand, and whether the band would stand behind him, or
find some one else.

"You fucking disappoint me"

With those words it felt like the entire world stopped.  No one could
believe hat had come out of his mouth, except him.  Even the band had never
realized he would scream those words, while staring directly into the eyes
of the man who gave them their start, the manager that had pulled them out
of that horrid punk scene that created them.  But Jody could, he felt the
winds of change sweep across him.  Then the applause started, and he was
surprised to see Madonna, of all people, was the only standing and
clapping, she seemed quite proud of this little band that had just blown
away the entire crowd, and seemed to ruin all the fun for the execs and pop
groups that were there to have fun.

When they walked off stage the crowd was clapping and yelling, but the look
of shock on their faces told the truth.  Nobody expected a band to just go
out there and take out everything on the crowd.  The smile on Maynard James
Keenan's face was enough to make Jody happy.  Walking backstage he saw
NSYNC preparing for their performance, which would be in the next segment
of the show.  They all looked shocked at what just happened on the stage
but were doing their best to seem nice and congratulatory.  The rest of the
band walked on by them just lightly smiling but when Jody tried to walk by
he was stopped by the young cute one all the girls wanted.

"Dude, where did you learn to sing like that?"  He asked, Justin, yeah that
was his name.

"A nervous breakdown."  Jody stated simply and walked past him towards the
dressing room so he could change and go back to the hotel.




The next morning Jody was trying his best to sleep off the last year when
his phone rang.  He was dead to the world but that irritating sound
wouldn't leave him alone.

"Some one better be dead."  Jody said flatly into the phone.

"Excuse me?"  A confused and almost meek voice came through the headset.
It was deep and sounded almost soothing to Jody's still throbbing head.

"Either you calling because someone I care about died, or I am not really
in the mood to talk to you."  Jody replied, still somewhat off because of
that voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was a bad time, should I call back?"  The
voice asked, still somewhat uncertain.

"Uhmm...  Do I know you?"  Jody asked, still trying to figure out who the
hell interrupted his sleep.

"We kinda met last night, well you met Justin...."  The man on the other
end replied, sounding, again, uncertain.

"Well, a name might help, let's try again, my name is Jody, and you
are...."

"Lance, Lance Bass.  I, uhmm, saw your performance last night and was very
impressed.  I don't think I have ever seen some one be so emotionally
honest on stage before, and I was just wondering if I could talk to you, I
mean, I dunno, I just wanted to meet the guy who managed to insult the
entire industry and make them fall in love with you at the same time..."
Lance stopped when he heard Jody laughing on the other end and realized he
was rambling on about nothing.  "I'm sorry, I do that when I'm nervous."

"That's ok, that was actually the best thing to happen to me in like the
last month.  Your funny."  Jody replied as he calmed down.  "And don't be
nervous, I am normally a somewhat nice guy."

"Thanks, I just kinda feel stupid...."  Lance said.

"Nah, I figured you were some weird ass fan, that's all.  So you wanna meet
me huh?  I must be moving up in the world, one of THE princes of pop, wants
to meet ME."  Jody said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

"Uhmm... yeah... I mean....  uh...  damn."  Lance stuttered out, not
knowing what to say to Jody.

"Well, I tell you what, I will leave a message with one of my bodyguards
that you are to be let on the floor, 15th of the Marriott, and if your not
Lance Bass, you just won't be let up, how about that?"  Jody said, still
thinking this would be a fan.

"Thanks."  Lance said a little eagerly.  "I mean, uhmm, thanks.  When
should I come over?  About half an hour?"

"Sure. See ya' then."  Jody said and hung up.  He heard him saying
something but really didn't care, he needed to get up anyway, he had to do
something today, if he slept all day, then on the bus he would be awake
while everyone else dozed.



Exactly half and hour later, as Jody was getting dressed after a very hot
shower, there was knock at the door.  Jody promptly walked over and opened
it, expecting it to be a member of the band, having completely forgotten
about the "fan".  There, standing in the hall, was Lance Bass from NSYNC.
And he looked nervous.

"I take it the phone call wasn't a joke."  Jody said dryly, still somewhat
shocked that a boy band member was at the door of his hotel room.

"Uhmm..  No.  Mind if I come in?"  Lance asked, turning slightly red when
he noticed Jody's gaze had never left him.

"Sure come on in..."

Jody let Lance in and showed him to one of the couches in his somewhat nice
hotel room.  He was almost embarrassed as he was sure NSYNC was staying
somewhere much more elegant.  There was some awkward conversation at first,
but the quickly fell into a relaxed dialogue once music became the topic.
They argued over the impending downfall of pop, discussed The Beatles, whom
they both adored, and Lance was amazed by the fact that Jody was a huge
Janet Jackson fan.

"Yeah, I love rock and relate to all the themes of self loathing and anger
that run through it, but sometimes, you just gotta forget it and have some
fun."  Jody said to a still shocked Lance.

"You do realize there are a lot of fans that would be rather upset if they
knew that.  I mean, you just broke all the stereotypes of the head banger
that hates everything not metal.  Aren't you supposed to be suicidal, too?"
Lance laughed.

"Well, I never really fit any of those stereotypes.  I mean I did the drug
and alcohol thing, but found that I preferred life through my own eyes....
I like all kinds of music, though I do love rock...  There isn't that much
I hate anymore.  I tend to believe I am little more mature than that."
Jody said while mindlessly playing the with frayed legs of his jeans.  For
some reason he realized he had never put on a shirt after Lance interrupted
his dressing and suddenly felt very self conscience.  He hopped up and
pulled on a t-shirt that looked like it had lived through WW II, though
barely.

"Yeah, well, those stereotypes and preconceptions are what keep the fans
happy."  Lance said, not really even noticing that Jody had suddenly
decided he needed a shirt, though was rather disappointed.

"True."  Jody stated simply as he moved about the room, little
straightening up and looking for his wallet.

"But, I guess all the women you meet at all those concerts must be a plus,
most of the ones at ours are either 12 or the mother of a 12 year old."
Lance laughed, poking fun at his own career.

"The guys seem to enjoy it, I don't normally care that much, not that
interested."  Jody said finding his wallet and jumping back onto the chair
opposite Lance.

"With someone?"

"No.  Just not interested in them."  Jody, wondering if Lance was going to
push this any farther.

"Gay?" Lance said, not even batting an eye.  This, oddly enough, was when
Jody noticed how cute he really was.  The spikey blonde hair was a little
to trendy, but the green eyes and handsome face were right in line with
Jody's taste.

"Well, yeah."  Jody said, trying to seem as casual about it as possible,
and why the hell did Lance care?

"Thought so."


There it is.  The first chapter of the first story I ever wrote for
anything other than school.  The song 'Vacant' is part of the Tapeworm
Project.  For more information see www.9inchnails.net and look for
tapeworm.  A Perfect Circle covered it on their North America Headliner
tour.  The lead singer of APC and Tool is Maynard James Keenan, hell of a
singer, and he did the vocals for the song with Tapeworm.  I did not write
that song nor I am trying to infringe any copyright Laws.  It belongs to
whoever owns it.

Feedback would be nice.  Without it I dunno if I will continue :)
downlikeastone@msn.com.