Date: Tue, 26 Mar 2002 17:54:35 -0800
From: musicfan@fiberia.com
Subject: Where do We Go #49

Disclaimer:

   Chapter 49 is the next chapter in an ongoing story about Stephen
Gately from Boyzone and Eloy de Jong, formerly of Caught in the Act.  I
have no contact, with either gentleman or group, so these chapters exist
within the imagination of the author's mind, combined with public events
that happened during this time.

   Cheers,

   Musicfan

###

    Stephen was woken out of a sound sleep by what felt like an
earthquake, but when he opened his eyes, was actually Ronan trying to
get Keith up.

    "Keith, come on! Lisa's flight is coming in any moment! We
overslept!" Ronan said, tugging on Keith's arm, and not getting a
response. "Dammit, Keith!"

    Stephen got out of the bed and staggered into the bathroom where he
grabbed a glass and poured some water into it from the sink.  He headed
back to the next room and gave the glass to Ro, who splashed it into
his friend's face.

    Keith woke up with a splutter, coughing. "What the feck!" Ronan
moved back out of the way as he came up looking for someone to grab.

    "Keith, Lisa's plane is landing! We've got to get to the airport or
she's going to kill you!" Ronan said, his own eyes bloodshot and tired.
Keith stared at him blearily.  As the words sunk in, he panicked,
looking at his watch and groaning.

    "Oh shite. Shite, shite, shite, shite, shite." Keith said over and
over again, getting up and staggering to the bathroom where he pissed
into the toilet without closing the door behind him.  He then ran the
faucet and dunked his head under the water in an effort to wake up and
look somewhat presentable.

     Stephen pulled on his clothes, wrinkling his nose at the cigarette
smell that clung to them from their night in the pub.  Ronan was
wearing his brother's clothes, and at least he looked fit to be seen.
He picked up Keith's discarded clothes, trying to shake out the
creases.  Stephen wandered over to the small kitchenette area of the
studio apartment, running some water and washing his face.  There
wasn't a mirror there, and he ran his wet hands through his hair,
trying to tame the mess. He used the bar of soap next to the sink as a
deodorant, hoping that it would mask any smell.  By the time he was
finished, Keith was pulling his jeans on, tucking his shirt in and
pulling up the zipper, eyes wild.

     "She's going to kill me," he muttered, knowing how much Lisa hated
to travel, and the fact that he wasn't going to be there to meet her
was going to make it worse. "Why the feck did we do that last night?"
he asked.

     "Ah, not to worry.  We still have time," Ronan said, trying to
reassure his friend.  Stephen grabbed his baseball cap and put it on
his head, grateful for the way it covered his hair.  "C'mon now. Let's
get outside, grab ourselves a cab and we can get there before she gets
through customs."  He led them both out of the apartment and down the
rickety stairs and kept talking so that Keith wouldn't worry.

     They had to walk a ways before they found an area where they could
catch a cab and by this point Keith was frantic with worry.  Stephen
put his hand on his knee to reassure him. "Don't worry, we've got
plenty of time.  Her flight is probably late, anyhow."

     "You think?" Keith asked hopefully.  When they both nodded he
brightened up a bit, taking comfort in their certainty.  It was with
relief that they got to the airport.  Ronan tossed some money at the
driver, not waiting for change as they took off through the doors and
down the concourse.  Stephen stopped briefly to look at the flight
information and found that Lisa's plane had gotten in about 5 minutes
before.  He pelted down the corridor after his friends and when he
caught up with them he panted, sharing the news with them that they
were still on time.  He had a stitch in his side by the time they came
to the customs area where Lisa would come through.  It was as they
waited for her to exit customs that Stephen started to feel the effects
of the night before in the form of a massive headache.  All the rushing
and running about hadn't helped any and he closed his eyes as he leaned
against a pole.  He heard people greeting one another and opened his
eyes to see if Lisa had come through the doors yet.  She hadn't, and
Keith shifted from one foot to the other anxiously, waiting for her to
show up.

     A few minutes later, she walked through the doors, scanning the
crowd with a furrowed brow.  When she saw Keith, her expression
lightened as she realised that he was there to meet her.  She crossed
the floor, dragging her suitcase behind her and he met her halfway,
wrapping his arms around her. Ronan stood next to Stephen, smiling in
satisfaction.

     "That was a close one," Stephen said softly to his friend. Ronan
nodded without looking at him, acknowledging their near miss.  If they
hadn't gotten Keith to meet Lisa in time, they weren't sure what would
have happened.  Keith and Lisa had a rocky relationship at times, and
neither of them wanted to be responsible for Lisa being mad at Keith
this time.  It was so obvious how much they loved one another, but even
though Stephen was convinced Lisa was a saint for the amount of
patience she had for Keith's antics, even she had her limits.

     Lisa pulled away from Keith, making a moue of distaste for his
appearance. "What did you do, stay up all night," she asked, looking at
him suspiciously. Her glance moved over to his two friends, and seeing
them in a like state, she narrowed her eyes as she looked at her
boyfriend.

     "Ro's brother offered to let us stay with him since he lives in
the city.  It was a last minute thing and we didn't think to bring
clothes to change in," Keith said apologetically.

     Lisa took in both Ronan's and Stephen's disheveled appearance and
knew he was probably telling the truth.  Stephen was usually much more
finicky about his dress and she could see that he was in as sorry state
as her boyfriend.  He smiled at her, giving her a wink and she found
herself smiling back at him.  He was always a charmer and she knew if
he was there, chances are they hadn't been causing too much trouble
together.  After all, it wasn't like he'd go to a strip club with them
or anything like that.  She relaxed a bit, allowing Keith to take the
suitcase from her and lead her over to where Stephen and Ronan were
standing.  They each gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek in welcome.
Together, the four of them made their way through the concourse to the
doors where they caught a cab, taking it back to their hotel.

     This was Lisa's first time in America and she marveled at the size
of the buildings as they drove around the outskirts of the city and
north to the suburbs.  Their flight to Las Vegas wasn't for a few days,
so Keith was going to take her about and show her the city.  Their
drive back to their hotel was quiet, with Lisa talking about her flight
and talking about how hard it had been to leave Jordan behind.  Stephen
sat in the corner against the window, mostly keeping quiet and
listening to Keith and Lisa talk with Ronan.  His headache had started
to recede, but the bright sunlight of the early morning didn't help
much.  He wished he had thought to keep his spare set of sunglasses in
his jacket pocket, but he hadn't, so he tried to keep his eyes closed
for the most part to protect them from the bright glare.

     They finally arrived at the hotel outside Bronxville and this time
Stephen paid the driver as Keith helped Lisa get out of the cab and
into the hotel.  Ronan pulled the suitcase along behind them as Stephen
entered the lobby, relieved to be out of the bright sunshine.  He
followed them into the lift, thinking of heading back to bed.  He could
see that Lisa looked ready to drop and hoped that Keith would let her
rest before dragging her around sightseeing.

    They parted ways in the hall, Keith leading Lisa into his room.
Ronan followed him down the hall, sighing with relief.  Stephen gave
him a quick smile before inserting his key in the lock.

    "I'm going to go back to sleep for a while," he said softly over
his shoulder.  His friend nodded, his blond hair falling into his face.

    "Good idea.  I think I'm going to do the same. It's too ungodly
early to be up," Ronan agreed, tiredly brushing his hair out of his
eyes.  "I'll catch up with you later."

    "Yeah, sounds good."  Stephen stepped through the door of his room
and let it close behind him.   As he peeled off his clothes he could
hear people stirring around him as they got ready for their day.  He
padded over to the window, making sure that no sunlight was coming
through the drapes before heading towards the bed.  He had just sat
down when he saw the Do Not Disturb sign still attached to the doorknob
on the backside of the door.  With a groan he got up again and
cautiously opened the door, making sure no one would see him from the
hall as he slipped the sign on the outside of the door before closing
it again.  Turning the safety lock, he made his way back to bed, barely
having enough strength to pull down the covers before crawling into
them.  The sounds from the room next door of someone watching the
morning news served to lull him to sleep without another thought.


# # #

     The incessant trilling of the phone brought him out of a sound
slumber and it took him a moment to focus on where it was.  He groaned
as he rolled over and pulled the annoyance off the hook, groggily
bringing the earpiece of up his ear.

     "Hi," he said, his voice hoarse.

     "Stephen?" He became more aware as he heard Eloy's deep voice on
the other end of the line.  "Did I wake you?" Stephen could hear him
muttering softly as he worked on the time difference.

     "You did, but it's okay," Stephen said as he reached for the glass
of water he had left by the bed.  Hotel rooms always tended to dry out
his throat and a heavy night of drinking didn't help any, either. "And
no, you didn't get the time wrong. I was just up half the night with Ro
and Keith in a bar with Ro's brother Gary.  Then we had to get up at
the crack of dawn to meet Lisa's plane, which came in first thing this
morning."

     "Ouch," was all Eloy said, knowing full well that Stephen probably
wasn't in very good shape at the moment.

     "Yeah, you could say that."  As he came fully awake he flashed on
the image of Eloy standing next to Carlo in the picture from that
magazine again.  His throat locked up as he thought about the
possibility of them together again, and what it might mean for him if
that were the case.  Eloy didn't notice anything strange about his
silence and talked for a few moments about his own recent night out
with the band after a particularly tough concert run in Germany
recently.

     When Eloy paused, Stephen tried to think of a way to bring it up
and see if he could fish for any details. He really didn't want to
know, but at the same time, he did.  He knew it was going to eat at him
until he said something.

      "Hey, got a story for you." Stephen said, taking another sip from
his glass as he sat up in the bed.

      "Oh?" Eloy asked with interest.  He was sitting in a hotel in
Cologne, resting from a day of promotional appearances before their
concert the next night.  He was high on the praise they had been
getting in Germany, and the first thing he had thought of was to call
Stephen to share it with him.

      "Well, last night we went to meet up with Gary, and I ended up
seeing your picture in a magazine at a newsstand in New York," Stephen
said, trying to be casual as he talked.  Eloy expressed surprise and
asked how that had happened.  "I was looking through some magazines and
saw a picture of you at some party."

      "Which one?" Eloy asked. He had been to so many industry parties
recently that they had all blurred together.

      "Dunno, it was in a language I couldn't read," Stephen said.  He
tried to remember whether anything in the pictures had said what the
party was for, and he didn't want to be the one to bring up Carlo
himself.  He didn't want to appear to be jealous, even though in fact
he was.  "I think there was some German teen mag title in the
background."

      Eloy mulled over the information before hazarding a guess. "Who
was in the pictures?"

     "Well, your group, and a few people I didn't know.  I'm assuming
some television personalities." Stephen said, not wanting to come out
and say what he saw in the picture.

     "That could be one of a hundred parties I've been at over the last
few months.  Was this a German magazine, or Dutch?"  Eloy asked,
curious.

     "You know E, I have no idea. Maybe it was Dutch.  The words looked
kind of like that," Stephen said, hoping to lead him along. "I think it
had an H, because it reminded me of Hello!"

     "Ah, then it was probably Hit!" Eloy said, finally placing where
the party had been.  "They hosted a party in the Netherlands, actually,
so they could get some pictures for when we came here to Germany."

     "Oh, I hadn't noticed," Stephen said, fibbing a little, but still
frustrated that he hadn't found out anything.  "How's things going at
home right now," he asked, changing the subject to see if Eloy would
bring up Carlo by himself.  Usually if he was getting bothered by him,
he would mention something that Carlo had done to annoy him.

     "Goed, not that I see it much," Eloy said with a sigh. "I'm just
so damned tired all the time."

     "Awww, that's too bad.  I think you looked a little tired in the
picture that I saw." Stephen said sympathetically. "Think you'll get to
rest at all?"

     "Who knows?" Eloy said, chuckling softly. "I think they expect us
to be automatons or something, just wind us up and keep on going."

     "That certainly seems true! But Lord, Eloy, you need to go home
and just rest for a while.  You can't do this forever," Stephen said,
knowing exactly what Eloy meant. "Otherwise you wreck yourself."

     "Its not that bad, but it's close," Eloy admitted.  "And not being
able to see the people I really want to is the worst part."  Left
unspoken was who he really wanted to be with, but Stephen felt the knot
in his stomach release a little bit at Eloy's comment.  He knew that
Eloy didn't want to come out and say it, respecting their agreement to
keep things cool.  Almost, he wanted to just throw caution to the
winds, but he knew that it would be too much for Eloy if he started up
an intimacy that they couldn't keep up once he returned to Europe.
Stephen sighed, frustrated with the situation.

     "Enough of me. How's the recording going?" Eloy asked after a long
moment.  The silence had stretched out, and he had hoped that Stephen
would respond to his comment, but all he had gotten was the sigh.  He
didn't want to push things, because he really cherished having whatever
contact with Stephen that they could get, and while he really regretted
agreeing to Stephen's wish to restrict their contact with one another,
he really wanted to go back to the way things were before.

     Rather than dwell on it too much, he figured he should change the
subject.  Stephen perked up at the question and told him about all the
work that they had been doing at The Loft.  His enthusiasm made Eloy
smile as he went on about some of the things they had been doing.

     "So, what's next on your agenda?" Eloy asked.  There was a strange
pause when Stephen said nothing and he wondered what was going on in
the other man's head.  "Stephen?"

     "Yeah, sorry.  I was just getting a drink of water.  My throat's
dry from this damn hotel room," Stephen said. He was still thinking
about Ronan's suggestion that Eloy come along with them and for the
hell of it, he decided to propose it and see what Eloy said.  "Next, we
get a holiday.  Keith's going to propose to Lisa, and then we're going
off to Las Vegas so they can get married.  She doesn't know this yet,
she thinks we're going to visit some friends of hers up north.  After
that, we're just talking about wandering around somewhere, not sure
where yet.  Too bad you can't get away, because Ro thought it would be
good if you could meet us down there." He rushed on before Eloy could
respond. "I told them how busy you were, and that it was probably
impossible.  But Lord, I'd love to have you there."

     "That's sweet of Ronan to think about me," Eloy said, silently
cursing their careers and commitments when all he wanted to do was be
with Stephen.  "Impossible would be an understatement.  A couple of
weeks from now, perhaps. Doesn't it always happen that way?"

     "Yeah," was all Stephen could manage. He hadn't realised until he
had mentioned it to Eloy how much it would mean to have him there.
However improbable that would be.  "Maybe next time."

     "Ja, I'm sure." Eloy said softly. He certainly hoped there would
be a next time for the two of them.  It had been so long since they had
been together that he had begun wondering if it had all been a dream.
"After you get back, you'll have to tell me all about it, so it will be
like I was there myself with you."

     "I suppose I could do that," Stephen said past the lump in his
throat.  Try as they might, there was always a point where the
conversation broke down with all of the things left unsaid between
them.  The silence stretched out for a long moment before Stephen made
a concerted effort to fill the space.  "Once we get back, it will
probably be off to Cheiron to do some more recording.  This has the
makings of a great album if they rep it right.  Even if they don't, I
think it might go places despite them!"

     "I'm sure it will, liefste," Eloy said, calling Stephen by one of
his nicknames for him without thinking.  He winced, hoping it wouldn't
put Stephen off.  He was having a hard time refraining from saying
things like that when he talked to Stephen.

      Stephen didn't seem to notice.  He was still thinking about that
picture he had seen in the magazine.  Finally, he decided to be casual
and bring it up, seeing what Eloy had to say about it.

     "How're things with Carlo? Is he still bothering you?" He asked,
trying to sound offhanded about it.

     "Carlo?  Actually, he's finally come to the conclusion that I'm
not going to come back to him," Eloy said, chuckling a little as he
remembered their conversation.

     "Oh?" Stephen asked, surprised.  "How'd you convince him about
that?"

     "We were at some party and I was feeling really stifled, so I went
out onto the balcony to take a breather.  He followed me out and tried
to talk to me.  In the course of the conversation, I think he finally
realised that I've moved on, I have someone else that I care about very
deeply, and nothing he can say will change that."  Eloy paused as he
thought over their conversation.

     Stephen had a tremulous smile on his face as he heard what Eloy
had to say.  A weight that had been pressing on him from the night
before was slowly lifting as Eloy talked about what they said.  He knew
better than to make assumptions based on a photo he had seen in a
magazine, but he was so insecure about his relationship with Eloy that
he almost expected him to say that he couldn't wait and he had moved
on.

    "I hope that means that he won't be bothering you anymore. That's
the last thing you need with all of the running around you're doing
these days." Stephen said sympathetically.

    "He hasn't bothered me since.  It's nice, actually.  I still like
him as a person, and I have no problem with being friends.  In fact, he
makes a much better friend than a lover, truth be told." Eloy said as
he mused over what had happened.  "Much less stressful."

    Stephen felt a pang of jealousy as he heard Eloy say that, but he
knew that he couldn't keep them from seeing each other. Not when they
lived so close to each other and worked in the same business.  "I'm
glad for you, then."

    A phone ringing interrupted them and Eloy sighed. "I should go get
that.  I'm supposed to be heading out for an interview, and I'm sure
that's the tour manager.  If I don't talk to you before you go to Las
Vegas, have a great time, ja?"

    "Yeah I will.  You take care of yourself, and don't work too hard,
okay?" Stephen said.  Eloy agreed and quickly rang off.  Stephen lay in
the bed with the phone in his hand until he rolled over with a sigh and
put it back on the base.  As he thought back over the conversation, he
was glad that Eloy had called.  He felt a lot better about things and
knew that all of this was because he had wanted to cool things off.  As
much as he wanted and needed Eloy, he kept on seeing the faces of his
friends as he imagined them looking if the news about him were to come
out and their careers were dashed to the winds.  He closed his eyes,
wondering if there would ever be a time that he could have a
relationship without that worry over his head.

    With a sigh he got up, willing himself not to get maudlin over the
situation.  There was no help for it and he had made his decision.  No
use crying over it when there was nothing to be done.   He took a
shower and got ready to see what the others were up to.  He called
around to their rooms, but there was no answer from either Keith or
Ronan's rooms.  Either they were still asleep or had already gone out
to do something.   He debated whether to go down and get some lunch but
decided to just have something brought into the room.  He called down
for some room service, ordering a sandwich and a coke, and turned on
the television for some distraction.


# # #

     Yvonne flew in a few days later, and this time it was only Stephen
and Ronan who went to the airport to meet her flight.  Keith was in
heaven with Lisa there, eagerly showing her around and taking her out
dancing at night.  It had been a while since they had been alone
together and Ronan and Stephen were happy to let them keep to
themselves.  Stephen was beginning to feel like a fifth wheel, even
though they were good about making sure he was invited when they went
out, but he felt awkward being the only single person in the group.

     It was with relief that Alex showed up and Ro accompanied him to
the airport to meet Alex's flight.   They were waiting at the gate,
both feeling a little bleary with the early morning schedule.

     "You know, you should have stayed in bed with Yvonne," Stephen
said as they sat on the bench waiting for Alex's plane to arrive. Ronan
shrugged and smiled.

     "I can go back once we get back to the hotel," he said with a
grin.  Stephen laughed.  It was good to see his friend happy again.  It
had been such a bad time for Ronan that he was grateful his friend had
found someone to help him through it all.  While he still thought that
Ronan had acted precipitously, it seemed like in the end it had been a
good decision and that it agreed with him.  Stephen was a bit wistful,
having watched Ronan and Yve over the last few days.

     "Hey, do you know what Alex was doing that he was in the States?"
Ronan asked Stephen.  Stephen shrugged.

     "I know he has friends in San Francisco, so I imagine he went to
go for a holiday. It will be fun with him here," Stephen said.

     "Yeah, Alex is a hoot," Ronan agreed.  "We just have to make sure
he doesn't get himself pissed in front of the girls.  If he did, lord
knows what would come out of his mouth!"  They both laughed, thinking
back to Alex's habit of saying the most inappropriate things when he
was drunk.   While they all got a laugh out of it, Stephen didn't think
that either Lisa or Yvonne would think it was funny.

     Stephen noticed that the flight board had been updated while they
were talking and that Alex's flight had already landed. "Oh, look, he
should be here any minute now."

     "Good," Ronan said with relief, pulling his sunglasses on.  "This
place it too damn bright."  Stephen laughed sympathetically.  Ronan by
nature wasn't a morning person.  It didn't bother Stephen too much, but
then he suspected he was getting more sleep than either of his friends.
"Too bad your fella couldn't come."

     Stephen shook his head in response to Ronan's comment. "The timing
was all wrong.  I talked to him the other night and the poor man is
just beaten to the ground with all the running around they're doing."

     "It's going well, though?" Ronan asked, keeping an eye out for
people coming through the hallway, looking for Alex's telltale blond
hair.

     "Yeah, real well.  Their people keep on adding dates until I
wonder if they're all just going to drop from exhaustion," Stephen
said, keeping their conversation to just Eloy's work rather than their
relationship.  Several times in the recent past Ronan had made comments
that caused Stephen to freeze, as if Ronan knew that Stephen had broken
things off, even if there was no way he could know.  It had been with a
lot of relief that he had begun talking to Eloy again, so he could drop
the occasional update to Ronan to distract him.  It was fairly obvious
with both of their schedules that they couldn't get together, and
Stephen found himself reluctant to think of a time when his band mates
would see him with Eloy.  He just couldn't picture it happening, and he
stared out the window to the planes moving by, squinting as the light
reflected off the metal and into his face.   He pushed the thought
away, knowing it would make him depressed.  He didn't have much time to
think about it though, because Ro pulled on his arm, pointing Alex out
to him.

     He welcomed the distraction, getting up and hurrying over to the
divider with Ro to get Alex's attention.  Alex lit up as he saw them.

     "Hallelujiah!  I was afraid I was going to get lost in this
beastly place!" Alex said with an over dramatic sigh, giving first
Ronan, and then Stephen a hug.  "And I have the biggest load of junk
with me.  You cannot imagine the stuff I found!"

     "Hey Alex," Ronan said, grinning over at Stephen who was having
the stuffing hugged out of him by Alex.  He finally let go and looked
at them both critically.

     "You," he said, poking Stephen in the gut. "Need badly to get
yourself shagged.  And you," he declared, turning as Ronan laughed.
"Are doing entirely too much shagging. You're going to wear yourself
out, boy."

     "Ah, but what a way to go!" Ronan said, smacking his lips and
winking at his friend as Stephen rolled his eyes.  They both knew how
outrageous Alex could be, and neither took him too seriously when he
made comments like that.

     "Be that as it may, I have to tell you about the absolutely
fabulous time I had in Frisco.  You two really have to go there," he
said, picking up his carry on bag and heading towards the baggage
claim.  "Well, not you, Ro. You really wouldn't appreciate the scene.
But Stephen! I found the most luscious boy. Gorgeous as you wouldn't
believe! Oh, be still my beating heart!" He stopped in the middle of
the concourse and clutched dramatically at his chest while the other
two giggled at his antics.  "Absolutely luscious."

     "Here we go," Stephen muttered, grabbing Alex's bag out of his
hand and leading the way.  "C'mon Alex, you can tell us on the way back
to the hotel.  It's hot as hell here and it's best if we get back
soon."  Alex rolled his eyes, disappointed that Stephen wasn't
interested in hearing his story, but Ronan wrapped an arm around their
friend and led him down the corridor to where the rest of his bags were
so they could get them and head off to the hotel.


# # #

     Alex regaled them of tales from his recent trip to the west,
telling them of all the parties he had been to and a couple of job
offers as well as a proposal for marriage he had received.

     "Marriage?" Ronan asked sceptically, turning from the window to
look at his friend.

     "Absolutely.  I swear, his name should have been Adonis." Alex
said, fanning himself dramatically.  Stephen rolled his eyes, not sure
why Alex was so over the top this day, but it was obvious he was
definitely in a mood to stir up trouble.

     "Somehow, I can't see you getting hitched," Ronan said with a
smile, shaking his head as he reclined in the back seat.

     "That's because Stephen here keeps on turning me down," Alex said,
putting a proprietary hand on Stephen's leg.  Stephen pushed it off
with a laugh, not even attempting to go along with his playing.  Alex
pouted at him.  "I am quite devastated, you know. I know there is no
one else for me, which is why I had to turn down my Adonis. No, I said
to him, alas another has my heart and sees fit to toy with it, and rent
my heart in two."

     "Oh, go on with you," Stephen said, shaking his head. "Where do
you come up with these stories?" He knew that Alex didn't mean a word
he said.

     "Do you see how heartless he is?" Alex asked, turning to Ronan for
support. "It's so cruel."

     Ronan looked over at his friend, wondering when Alex would push
things too far.  He decided to get his own teasing in, even knowing
that Stephen would probably kill him for saying it later.  "Well, maybe
he's given his heart to someone else instead.  Did you ever think of
that, Alex?"

     Alex stopped his act, hearing a note in Ronan's voice the spoke
that he knew something he wasn't sharing.  Stephen stifled a groan at
Ronan's comment, knowing he meant well, but he would have rather face
Alex's flamboyant play passes than speculation about whether he had a
lover.  Alex looked at Ronan who tried to be nonchalant, turning to
look out the window, cowardly avoiding Alex's frank gaze.  Alex turned
in the seat from where he sat between the two band members and studied
Stephen, who tried his damnedest to look innocent.

     "Is that the way the wind is blowing?" He asked softly, staring
intently at the younger man. Stephen looked into his eyes without
saying a word, giving him nothing to go on.  "Hmmm, I wonder.  Has our
ickle Stephen found himself a toy?"  While the words were playful, the
tone was not.

     "And when would I find time to play with a toy?" He asked
truthfully, not wanting to give Alex any openings.  His friend and
confidante on the road thought about his comment, knowing full well
that he hadn't had a lot of time to spend with anyone. Alex also knew
that had Stephen found someone, likely he would have told him by now,
or had him here to stay.   He drummed his fingers thoughtfully on his
leg as he considered the possibilities.  Would Stephen be so bold as to
have a paramour with him here in the States, yet hide him from people?
What did Stephen's friends know, that he wasn't willing to share with
himself?

    "Ah, true enough.  You never give yourself time to find a good
shag, do you?" He said regretfully, discarding Ronan's comment as the
distraction that it probably was.  He looked down at the bag resting on
his lap, but slanted his glance over to Stephen to see what the
reaction was to his comment.  He pursed his lips thoughtfully as he saw
Stephen release his grip on the arm of the door, his fingers leaving a
telltale impression in the vinyl interior.  "Maybe you should just go
out and find yourself someone, just to get it over with, you know."

    "That doesn't sound very satisfactory," Stephen said dryly.
"Getting it over with, I mean."

    "Oh honey, you do not know what you are missing," Alex said,
deciding that it wasn't the time to pry.  Time enough later on, with
better fodder for information, he thought to himself.  He also wondered
how long they had been withholding the information from him.  Not that
he would ever tell anyone.  But he and Stephen had been through a lot
over the years, and he felt hurt that Stephen felt like he couldn't
talk about whomever it was who had caught his fancy.

    They soon found themselves at the end of their ride and Stephen was
grateful from the respite as they got out of the taxi and made their
way through the sweltering New York heat to the cool interior of the
hotel lobby.  Keith, Lisa and Yvonne were there to meet them, and after
Alex stowed his bag in Stephen's room, he came down to join them for
breakfast.  They had a pleasant meal together before Alex pleaded jet
lag and headed back to the hotel room he was going to share with
Stephen.

     There was a lull at their table after he left, and the others sat
back, enjoying the quiet.  Ronan thought back to their conversation in
the taxi, and felt bad for having made the comment he had.  He had only
meant to distract Alex and hadn't thought that Alex would latch onto
what he said the way he did.

     "Steo," he said softly, looking up from his coffee cup across the
table to his friend. "I'm sorry."

     "Ah, it's okay, Ro.  Don't worry about it," Stephen said, pushing
the topic away with a gesture.  "I'm fine with it."

     "With what?" Keith asked, looking from one to the other,
mystified.

     "Nothing," Stephen said, pushing his plate back.

     "I said something stupid in the taxi, is all," Ronan said, knowing
that Stephen didn't want to mention it to the others.  "Alex just gave
Stephen a lot of hell about it is all."

     "That one is in rare form today," Lisa said, shaking her head.
They all smiled, knowing her comment to be an understatement.  "He'll
be down for a while though, after a flight like that, I'm sure."

     "Who's up for shopping?" Yvonne asked, slanting a glance at her
friend.  The lads laughed, amazed that they could want to go shopping
after having spent days doing it.  Lisa liked the idea, so they got
everyone together and went down to the city to wander around.