Date: Thu, 11 Jan 2001 21:18:16 -0500
From: musicfan <musicfan@subdimension.com>
Subject: Where Do We Go #7

Disclaimer:

   The following story is the seventh installment in an on going
series about Stephen Gately from Boyzone and what I imagine to be the
story behind the beginning of his relationship with Eloy de Jong from
Caught in the Act. I have no contact with either person, nor know any of
the members of either group.

     After he dropped Stephen off at the airport, Eloy pulled out onto the
highway for the trip home.  His thoughts were all jumbled, and at the
moment, he didn't want to think about much of anything at all.  He reached
for his pack of cigarettes and stopped, thinking of earlier in the weekend
when Stephen had stopped him.  His hand hovered over the pack for a moment
in indecision.  With a sigh, he pushed it away from him and tapped out a
tune on the steering wheel with his fingers.  After a few moments, he
popped a tape into the stereo and cranked the volume, trying to drown out
the confusion in his head....

***************

     Stephen got onto his flight in a bit of a daze, pre-occupied with
thoughts of what had happened over the weekend.  He absently took his seat
on the plane and pulled out his walkman.  Idly, he watched the baggage
handlers working underneath the plane, and let his mind wander.  It was
shaping up to be another lovely day.  Almost, he wished that they had had
more time to just spend together and talk things through.  He hoped that
Eloy wouldn't regret anything that had happened, but he was so unsure of
everything himself that he worried on the thoughts, trying to think of all
the possible ways that it might go.

     He felt a thump as the final doors closed and was relieved to see that
he had a seat between himself and the businessman at the end of the row.
He needed some time to himself and didn't want to have to talk to anyone on
the trip.  Putting his headphones on, he popped in the demo tape that Steve
Mac had given him of some music for the next album and tried to concentrate
on that for a while.

      In next to no time, it seemed like his flight was landing in
Edinburgh.  It was a grey day in Scotland, and as his plane touched down he
could see the low clouds around Edinburgh castle to the east of the
airport.  He made his way off the plane, thanking the flight attendants on
the way out.  Already, he could see a small crowd ahead at the gate, with
several girls holding signs with his name on them.  With a rueful grin, he
knew he had been found out.  It amazed him how the fans could find out
stuff like flight information and where they all were.  Especially since
until earlier this week, he hadn't rightly known himself that he was going
to Paris.  The official at the end of the corridor gave his passport a
cursory inspection and waved him on.  He traveled enough that they never
really did more than that, and were often eager to push him through so that
they'd be rid of the waiting fans.  One airport attendant had told him once
that some of these girls would be from f!  irst thing in the morning,
waiting for all their possible flights to come in if they weren't sure as
to which one they'd be coming in on.  He shook his head as he hefted his
overnight bag on his shoulder and walked out into the waiting throng.
Barrie or someone would be waiting for him, so he knew it was only a matter
of time before he could head off to his hotel.

        "Stephen!" cries came as he walked through the doors, each of the
girls screaming his name and calling for his attention.  He smiled and
waved, but tried to keep to his side of the barrier.  He was still feeling
a little raw and didn't want anyone getting a close up look of him at the
moment.  He wasn't feeling his best this morning, and while he didn't want
to disappoint the fans, at times he also wouldn't mind a little privacy for
himself.  It was hard being on like this at times, when often he didn't
feel like smiling at all.  But the last thing he wanted was for them to
know what was going on in his personal life.  He had to suppress a shudder
at the thought, envisioning the press having a field day with the news.
Resolutely he turned his thoughts to the present and scanned the crowd.

      "Barrie's on his way, Stephen," one girl shouted.  Stephen laughed
and gave in to the inevitable, walking over to where the crowd was.  The
girls surrounded him, some touching his sleeve lightly, others just content
to be standing next to him.  The one who had shouted to him raised a
program booklet for the tour. "So while you're waiting, I hope you wouldn't
mind signing this?"

       "Oh, absolutely," he said, taking it and digging into the pocket of
his bag for his metallic marker.  He always kept a supply on hand because
he never knew when he was going to run into someone.  Which was anywhere he
went, usually.  "What did you do to Barrie?" He asked with a laugh and
pulled down on his baseball hat a bit to shade his eyes from the flashes
going off around him.  "Sherrie, right?"

       "Ah, you're good, Steo!" She said with delight that he had
remembered her name from the week before when she had met him backstage at
the Manchester show.  "Yeah, if you wouldn't mind.  Do it over that cute
picture in the middle."

       He shook his head and laughed.  As far as he was concerned, there
were no cute pictures of him.  But he didn't say that to the fans.  Her
request opened a floodgate, and although he tried to walk towards the
entrance of the small airport, he wasn't getting very far.  Eventually,
Barrie found him in the middle of the concourse area, surrounded by fans.
Barrie worked his way through the crowd to where he was standing next to
Stephen.

      "All set then," he asked gruffly.  He hated seeing any of the boys
trapped like that, because in the years he had worked for Boyzone he had
seen his share of fanatics who would stop at nothing in terms of being with
their idol.  All the boys had their share of groupies and lunatic fans, but
Stephen seemed to be unaware of the danger he put himself in sometimes.  He
was just so open and happy most of the time that he couldn't see the odd
quirks in anyone else that would be a danger sign.  There had been a few
close calls in the past, and though Barrie had talked to him a few times
about waiting until he could get there, Stephen blithely ignored his advice
and went out to talk to the fans anyway.  It was a security nightmare, and
Barrie knew that Louis would rightly have his head on a platter should
anything happen to one of the boyz.  "Steve, we have to go.  Got a sound
check and we're going to be late as it is."

       Stephen nodded a response and gave the crowd a huge smile.  He felt
back to rights just by spending the time he had with them.  The fans always
had a way of putting him back on track when he was feeling down and he
handed back on last photo that he had signed and waved, telling them he'd
see them at the show that night.  He then followed Barrie out of the
concourse and into the car park where a van was waiting for them.  The
driver nodded as they got in and Barrie gave a grunt as he put Stephen's
bag in the back and got in beside Stephen.

         "Have a good weekend?" He asked, as he watched Stephen wave to the
fans who had followed them out .

          "Yeah, fantastic," Stephen said with a smile as he turned back to
face forward.  "Ended up at Disney, which was a lot of fun.  Did you get
any time off, or did the other lads keep you running around?"

        "No, I actually got to go down to London for a couple of days.  Got
back this morning, myself," Barrie said as he pulled his mobile out of his
pocket and sent the go ahead to his team waiting back at the hotel.  After
talking with them for a bit, he gave instructions to the driver to go
straight to the concert hall.  "I'll have to check your bag into the hotel,
Steve.  They need you downtown for a sound check, and Bernice has done some
mods on the outfits for tonight, so she wants to get a hold of you and see
if they're going to last the evening."

        Stephen acknowledged that with a sigh and looked out the window,
watching the buildings roll by.  The traffic was light and soon they made
their way to the other side of town where the concert was to be held that
night.  He was lost in his thoughts, just nodding absently to whatever
Barrie had to say.  They turned the corner and pulled through a crowd of
screaming fans and Stephen got out, waving as the gates closed behind them.
He stopped Barrie for a moment while he rummaged through his overnight bag
and pulled out some of his purchases, which he took with him inside.  The
change from the overcast day to the dim interior was a bit comforting to
him and he took his time walking the backstage halls to the boyz dressing
rooms.  He didn't meet anyone along the way, and was able to slip inside
the dressing room.

       "Steve!" He heard an exclamation and turned with a wide grin on his
face.  Keith's son Jordan ran across the room and he dropped the bags and
opened his arms.  Jordan all but leapt into his arms and he swung the boy
around in a circle.  Jordan crowed with delight and wrapped his arms around
Stephen's neck and hugged tightly.  "Where were you?  I've been looking
around all day, but you weren't here!"

     "Well, I was just getting back from a trip, buddy." Stephen informed
him, grinning.  "But brought something back for you."

      Jordan pulled back and looked at his friend with delight.  "You did?
Can I see?" He wiggled in Stephen's arms, eager to get down and look in the
bags.

      "Hold on a sec, buddy.  It isn't all for you!" Stephen laughed,
letting the little boy drop down.  He kneeled down and rummaged through the
bags, muttering to himself.  "Mmmmm, is it in this one?  Nope!  That one?"
He opened another bag a tiny bit and peeked in.  "Nope, not that one.  That
one is for someone else!"  He stuck his nose in another bag and peered in
with one eye while Jordan giggled.  "Could this be it?  Maybe!"  He turned
his head and put the opening of the bag to his ear, pretending to listen to
the inside.  By this time Jordan was crouched down beside him, seriously
following each of his attempts to find the right present.  They were
interrupted as the door opened and Keith stepped through.

     "Hey Keet!" Stephen said cheerfully, looking up from where he was
sprawled on the floor.  "How are ya?"

     "Hey Steve.  Good!  I see you found your friend, Jordan."  Keith said
as he rifled his hand through Jordan's hair.  "What are you two up to?" He
looked down at the bags around Stephen.

      "Well, it seems we have ourselves a mystery," Stephen said seriously.
Jordan nodded in agreement.  "There's a present here in one of these bags,
but its too shy to come out.  Jordan, I think if you just call, maybe it
won't be so shy."

      Jordan looked up at his dad a moment, and then back to his
friend. Nodding, he looked around at the bags and put his hands around his
mouth so that the toy could hear him better.  "Hullo!  This is Jordan here.
Are you coming out to play with me?"

      One of the bags moved and Jordan jumped back with a squeal.  "Well!"
Stephen exclaimed and clapped his hands.  When he did that, the bag wiggled
again. "That must be the one that is meant for you!"  He opened the bag and
peaked in.  "Yup, this is it!"  He looked up from where he knelt next to
the bag and grinned at Keith.  "Lisa is going to hate me for this, you
know."

      "Is she?  Make sure she finds out while I'm out of the room, okay?"
Keith said as he walked over to the juice bar and poured himself a drink.
Then he pulled up a chair to watch their antics.  The door opened again and
Mikey walked in.  He smiled down at Stephen and Jordan on the floor.

      "Hey Mick!" Stephen said as he pushed the bag towards Jordan.  "That
one is definitely yours, buddy." Jordan continued clapping and laughing and
the bag wiggled around on the floor.  Finally, unable to wait any longer,
he looked inside to find a Disney puffball of a puppy from the Dalmatian
movies.  It was a computerized toy that responded to noise.  But to Jordan,
it was like it was alive.  He cuddled it close and when he did, it barked.
Startled, he almost dropped it and Stephen reached out to catch it for him.

       "Jordie, what do you say to Stephen?" Keith asked as he sat back,
amused.

      "Thank you, Steve!" Jordan said as he wrapped his arms around Stephen
again.  Stephen hugged him back.  "You're quite welcome!  Now let me get up
so I can say hi to your dad."  He picked up the bags and got up, moving
them all over to the bar against the wall.  The door opened again and Shane
and Ro walked in.

        "Hey guys!" Stephen said, pouring a glass of juice for
himself. "Did you all have a good weekend?"

        "Fantastic!" Ro said enthusiastically.  Shane nodded and gripped
Stephen's arm affectionately as he passed by to go sit on a barstool.
Jordan asked his dad if he could go show off his new toy and Keith waved
him out the door with a chuckle.  Keith then turned and gave Stephen a hug.
"Hey, thanks for the gift.  I know Jordan really appreciates it."  He
pulled back from Stephen with a puzzled look on his face.

        "What?" Stephen asked him, a bit mystified at what caused the
expression. The puzzled expression turned into a grin and Keith laughed.

          "Oh, hooooo!  What do we have here?" He laughed and slung an arm
around Stephen's neck and pulled him over to the other side of the room
near the window.  "I'm right!"

           Stephen shook his head, totally confused as to what Keith was
talking about. "Right about what?" He was totally confused as Keith
continued to chuckle as he turned them back to the rest of the lads.

           "Gentleman, a drink is in order here!" He said and letting his
hold on Stephen go, he walked over to the bar and went behind it, pulling
out some bottles of liquor and pouring some glasses.  He walked out,
handing glasses as he went.  The other men were waiting expectantly for
whatever announcement it was that he had to make.  Finally he came back,
poured the vodka into Stephen's glass of juice and raised his own glass in
salute.  "To our Steo, who got lucky this weekend!"

            The rest of the lads sat back and stared.  Slowly, Shane stood
up and with a big grin on his face, came over and hugged Stephen.  "Well,
it's about time, if you ask me.  You devil, you!"

            "What?" Stephen asked, confused.  How the hell Keith had
figured that out, he had no idea.  He could feel himself blushing though,
which made the rest of the men laugh.  "Keith what are you going on about?"

            Ro stood and cocked his head to one side, a big grin on his
face.  "Ah, don't worry about it, Steo. Now that Keith has pointed it out,
its fairly obvious.  Good on you, lad.  Hope you had fun." He playfully
punched Stephen in the arm and sat down at the table, glass in hand.
Stephen all but spluttered in response.  But there was no getting out of
it.  He sat down at the table and grabbed a sandwich, hoping that by
concentrating on eating he could stop himself from blushing.  The rest of
the lads sat down and Keith leaned his chin on one hand and looked
expectantly at Stephen.  "Well?"

            "Well what?" Stephen asked defensively.  "I went away for the
weekend.  I had a very nice time, thanks for asking.  But I'm not telling
you what happened!"

             "Awww, c'mon lad.  If you don't talk, we'll find out from
somewhere else," Keith said knowingly.  "I'm sure Alex can ferret it out of
you."

             "No he can't!" Stephen exclaimed.  He had no intentions of
sharing what had happened this weekend with anyone.

             "If he doesn't want to talk, you shouldn't make him, Keith."
Mikey said quietly from where he sat at the other end of the table.  "Its
not like it's any of our business."  Stephen shot him a grateful look.
Keith sighed.

             "Ah, you're right, Mick," Ro said, grabbing his own sandwich
and taking a bite. "Let the lad have his fun, please God.  The good Lord
knows it's not like we ever share what we do."

             "Thank you," Stephen said quietly.  "But I have to ask,
Keith.... How the hell did you figure it out?"

              Keith took a gulp from his glass and grinned.  "Easy,
brother.  Whomever your red hot lover was this weekend gave you a hickey."
He laughed at the expression on Stephen's face as the younger man put a
hand to his neck. "Bagged."

          Stephen rested his head in his hands and laughed silently.  The
one thing neither of them had thought about was leaving telltale signs
behind.  He thought it was pretty silly that they had been so careful about
everything else but totally forgetful on something like that. He looked
around the table with a rueful grin.  "How bad is it?"

          "Not bad at all," Ro assured him.  "But you might want to put
something on it before Alex sees it.  He'll never stop if he finds out
about that."  Stephen dropped his head onto the table with a groan.  He
knew that Ro was right about that.  Their stylist Alex was the worst
gossip, and would think that anything that Stephen held back would be an
insult.  It didn't help that he felt Stephen should confide everything,
either.

      "Let me go see if I can borrow Lisa's compact," Keith said.  He got
up from the table and left the room in search of his wife.  The lads
continued eating, each talking about their weekends.  Stephen handed out
the gifts he had brought with him.  Keith came back in a short time and
daubed some of Lisa's foundation makeup onto Stephen's neck.  Luckily, they
both had light complexions, and he was able to tone down the mark a little.

        A short time later one of the backstage crew gave them the cue to
go in and do the mic check.  As they were all getting up from the table,
Mikey put his hand on Stephen's arm to hold him back from the rest.

       "Hey, Stephen.  Please answer me one question," he said softly, not
wanting to draw attention back to the two of them.  Stephen gave him an
inquiring look.  "Are you being careful?"

       Stephen smiled at the question.  "Yes, Mick, we were."  The worried
expression on Mikey's face eased with the answer and he smiled.  "Ah, then,
it's okay, then."  Mikey slung his arm around Stephen's neck and together
they walked out on stage for the sound check.

       The check went fine and they went on to double-check the costume
fittings.  Stephen had had some problems in the last show with dancing in
one of the costumes and Bernice was going to do a fix on it. As he made his
way backstage, he waved as he passed the crew, chatting with one or another
on the way to the dressing room.  Peeking inside, he saw that Bernice was
at the other end of the room.  He snuck in quietly with one of the gifts he
had.  He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a huge hug and a peck on
the cheek.

       "Hey sweetie, how are ya?" He asked as she exclaimed over the
stuffed Minnie Mouse he placed in her arms.

        "Oh, you are such a love, Stephen!" She smiled up at him.  "Now,
quick like a bunny, I have your costume all set.  Check it out and see how
it works for you.  If I have to make any more changes, I'll need to get on
it right away or I'll not be ready for this evening.  And we wouldn't want
that, now, would we, love?"

         Stephen obediently went to the wardrobe she indicated and pulled
his outfit out.  He walked behind the divider to quickly strip and change
into the outfit.  "How was your weekend, Bernie?" He asked, getting up on
his tiptoes and peeking over the top.  He adored the older woman.  In a lot
of ways, she reminded him of his mam, and had been there through the last 2
tours.  It had been especially helpful when he was still feeling dreadfully
homesick.  "I hope you weren't stuck here working on this thing!"

        "I had a lovely weekend, thank you for asking, dearie." She said,
smiling above the sewing in her lap. "Went down to see my niece.  She just
had a wee bairn and it was good to see the little lad for the first
time. And what lungs on him!"

         Stephen smiled, enchanted with her stories.  He always was.  He
finally got the whole outfit on and came out for her inspection.  "I think
this should work, Bernie."  He raised his arms and Bernice got up to walk
around him, pulling at the costume to make sure he had enough room to move.
"Thank you.  It's much better."

       "Oh, that's lovely, then.  Now tell me, did you have fun this
weekend, m'dear?" She smiled warmly at him, wisps of hair swirling gently
around her face as it escaped the confines of her chignon.

       "I did, Bernie.  The best!" He smiled back and gave her another hug.
He turned and started to pull off the costume and went back around the
curtain to finish undressing.  "Bernie?"

      "Yes, love?" She answered him absently.

       "How long were you together with Spencer before you knew he was the
one for you?" He asked, referring to her late husband.  Bernice was always
sharing stories of their time together and all the fun they had over the
years.

       "Spencer?  Oh, that was just it, you could have hit me over the head
with a frying pan and I wouldn't admit it to myself!" She laughed, always
happy to tell another story about her husband. "That man tried his
damnedest to get me to admit it and I was too stubborn for the longest time
to do it.  He was constantly following me around with flowers and leaving
things at my door.  I was scandalized!  Didn't want the neighbors to think
that I was the sort of girl who encouraged that kind of thing.  But Spencer
kept on trying in his cute little way.  You see, years before I had pinned
my hopes on a dashing navy man that was the son of a friend of my father's.
Oh my, but did he look grand wearing that uniform!"  Stephen had finished
changing by this point and after hanging his costume back on the rack, he
sat down next to her, caught up in her story. "Well, of course he had no
clue that I liked him, and rightly so, he was a good ten years older than
I.  But still, a lovely ge!  nt.  When he died in the war I remember I
cried myself to sleep for weeks.  Told myself that I would never love
someone like that again, because it was much too painful.  So my Spencer
had himself quite an uphill battle.

      "It was bad enough that I was a seamstress working for a stage
company.  My parents were mortified and didn't talk to me for the longest
time.  But I so adored the theatre!  Ah, to see all the people coming to a
show and seeing my creations!  I would have dearly loved to act, but really
didn't have the talent for that.  Spencer worked backstage as the manager's
assistant.  Ah, he was so young!  Very earnest, too.  Was very eager to do
everything right.  He set his sights on me, and had vowed to several of the
other gals working there that he wouldn't stop at anything in terms of
convincing me to go out with him.  The rest of the girls were shameless
about helping him out.  They thought it quite romantic.

     "Finally, just to get him out of my hair, I agreed to have dinner with
him before one of the shows.  I deliberately picked someplace that I knew
would be too dear, just to show him that I wasn't going to be a cheap
date."  She laughed as she remembered, her pale blue eyes taking on this
misty look like she could envision it happening right in front of her.
Stephen didn't move a muscle, mesmerized by her story.  He loved this sort
of thing.  It reminded him of stories his gran would tell when she came to
live with them from time to time when he was young.

      "Dear old Spencer didn't bat an eye.  He took me out to the
restaurant I wanted and bought me the most fabulous meal I ever had.  Now,
mind you, I hadn't said more than 10 words to him at a time before this, so
I really had no idea how charming he could be.  He told me of how he had
worked his way down from the north to London, and that he had always had
dreams of working in the theatre.  It sounded so close to my own story that
I really identified with what he was telling me.  That night was magical.
I also didn't know until years later that he had used up all of his savings
to take me out that night. " She sat there with a dreamy look on her face,
the sewing in her lap forgotten.  Stephen sighed softly.  He always fell
for these kinds of stories.

      "But I'll tell you, darling, that night he swept me off my feet and I
didn't realize it for weeks.  Every day afterwards he would always have a
little gift for me.  Nothing big, nothing expensive.  Just something that
would remind me of him. And when he went with the travel group on tour to
manage them, he still kept getting the gifts to me.  I don't know how he
did it, but I found myself looking forward to these little notes from him
that told of where he was, and what was going on.  I think it was those
little reminders that bound my heart, to be honest.  And you know what?
I've kept every single one of his notes over the years.  And even now, when
I want to feel close to my Spencer, I pull out the boxes and go through
them." She smiled softly, lost in her memories.  Stephen knelt and put his
arms around her, hugging her tight.

       "Ah, Bernie.... What a lovely story.  Thank you for sharing it.  I
always love your stories, and wish I could have met your Spencer.  He
sounds like quite the gentleman.  And you know, I think you were meant for
each other all along."

        "Oh, yes, you're right there, darling.  Now, is there a reason for
you asking me this kind of a question?" She asked coyly, her face dimpling
into a smile.  "Is there something you want to share with your old friend
Bernie?"

        Stephen blushed and looked down.  "Not yet, Bernie.  Though I'd
love to... but it's a bit too new and honestly, nothing might come of it."
He shyly looked up at her.  "But I have my hopes."

        Bernie cradled Stephen's face in her hands and raised him up to
look at her.  "Remember, love, nothing that is worth it is easy.  Don't
give up, and keep on letting this special someone know that you're there
for them."  Bernie had been in the theatre long enough to have read
Stephen's inclinations a long time ago, though he hid it well enough.  Her
heart went out to the lonely boy she had taken under her wing on that first
cross-country tour, and it was with a mother's wish that she wanted to see
him happy.  "Take a page out of my Spencer's book, and send a note.  Jes' a
little hello, nothing fancy.  Just your thoughts on the day, and how you're
thinking of them.  I'll tell you, it works wonders. None of this fancy
stuff of mobiles and computers!  No, go back and do it the old fashioned
way, m'dear.  It will be worth all the more, for the effort you put into
it."

        Stephen started to get excited by the idea.  He knew that by
writing notes, he could say anything and just keep on reminding Eloy of the
fun they had together.  He gave Bernie a huge smile and another hug.  "You
know, I just might do that, Bernie.  What a grand idea!  Thank you so
much!"

       "Ah, its nothing, love.  Jes' remember to let me in on the little
secret when you can, right?" She laughed, patting his arms.  "Now you'd
best be off!  It's getting late and I'm sure you need a break before the
show starts tonight!  Off with you now!"

        She laughed as he got up, swearing as he looked at his watch and
then apologising contritely. With one last hug he waved to her as he went
out the door, a spring in his step.  She looked after him fondly.  Lord,
but did she love that boy!


************

        It was late when Eloy finally pulled into the driveway at his
mother's house.  He had reached the outskirts of Amsterdam some hours
before, but drove around aimlessly, at a bit of a loss as to what to do
with himself.  The idea of going back to the empty apartment was a bit
distasteful to him.  He had just moved in and hadn't taken anything that he
had shared with Carlo with him.  He had had some furniture delivered, but
hadn't wanted to spend any time there after moving in.  It just seemed so
empty.  A lot like his life had been for the past few months.

        Shutting off the engine, he sat for a minute in the darkness, the
light of his cigarette the only illumination.  He had given into the
temptation to smoke a few hours ago, while driving along the canals towards
home.  In a way, it was a bit of defiance, as he tried to deny Stephen's
dominance over him by disobeying his wishes.  He knew it was a bit
childish, especially since it shouldn't really matter what Stephen thought
of his smoking.  But he felt a bit guilty in the act without really knowing
why he felt guilty.  He took a long drag on the cigarette and rested his
head against the seatback, exhaling and watching the smoke curl around him.
It wasn't helping to calm him any, and he was just as confused now as he
had been when he left Stephen at the airport.

       "Awww, eikel," he muttered to himself in disgust.  Flicking the butt
out the window, he opened the car door and went up the walk.  Opening the
door, he looked inside.  It was late, and it was possible his mother was
asleep by now.  But she was sitting on the couch, watching a movie.  She
turned as the door opened, and smiled when she recognized her son.

        "Eloy, you're back!  Did you have a good time, darling?" She asked
in Dutch, moving her legs off the recliner and sitting up expectantly.  She
had been concerned the last few months for her son.  He had been having a
terrible time, what with all that had been going on with the breakup with
his lover, she wanted to see him smiling again.

        "Ja, Mamma, I did."  He sat down on the arm of the couch and put
his arm around her, while leaning over to give her a kiss.  She pulled back
and looked at him a little more closely.  He didn't look like he had had a
good time.  Her heart dropped.  He had been looking forward to getting away
all week --- it had been all he had talked about.  She hoped that nothing
had gone wrong after he had been all set on trying to put all the troubles
of the last few weeks behind him.  "Mamma, can I stay here tonight?  I'm
not really looking forward to going back to the apartment."

       "Oh course you can, sweetheart.  You always have a place here with
me.  Are you okay?" She reached up and stroked his cheek in concern.
"You're looking very tired."

       "I'm fine Mamma.  It was just a long drive back," he said, staring
at the tv.  "And yes, I had a good time.  I've got some presents," he said,
perking up a bit at the thought of his bag in the back of the car.  "Hold
on a second and I'll get it."

       "No need to do that, sweetheart.  Just sit here with me and relax.
You can get your stuff later."  She tugged on his arm and he allowed her to
pull her onto the seat cushion next to her.  "What did you do? Did you go
on the rides?  Was the weather good enough for you to enjoy yourself?"

       "Ja, we went on a lot of the rides.  The weather was not so good on
Saturday, but we got some shopping in."  He skirted around the details,
picking out highlights of the trip to Euro Disney.  As he told her some of
the funnier moments, he began to relax a bit. The more he talked about it,
the more he realized he'd had a good time.  He was a bit confused about
what had happened, but he realized as he talked that there was more to the
weekend than him and Stephen sleeping together.  She laughed at his
stories, happy to see that he had enjoyed himself.  She wasn't quite sure
what had made him so tense when he had come in, but she knew that with
time, he'd tell her if he needed to.  In the meantime, she was happy to see
him smiling again.

       They sat there late into the night, talking about his trip, and she
shared some stories about his sister, who was being wooed by her latest
suitor.  He loved his mother's stories because she had this wonderful knack
of picking out the worst habits of Lucienne's boyfriends and pointed them
out.  Lucienne was a doll, but had terrible taste in men.  He hadn't met
this latest one, but he was actually impressed that his mother wasn't able
to find as many chinks in his armor.  Maybe his sister had finally found
someone special.  He really hoped so.  She was a bit of a butterfly where
men were concerned, and he knew his mother would like to see her settled
down.  Though she never mentioned it, he knew she longed for both of them
to settle down and have families. He had seen that wistful look on her face
when her friends would share their stories of grandchildren and their
antics.  For him at the moment, that seemed rather unlikely. He felt a pang
at the thought.  He adored hi!  s mother and wanted to give her the world.
She was his stalwart supporter in everything he did, from when he had first
started horseback riding to being in Caught in the Act.  And she had
supported him during the hard time he had with his father over his
relationship with Carlo.  He shied away from the last thought.  Carlo was
the last thing he wanted to think about tonight.

       "Honey, its late," Lenia said softly, after they had run out of
things to talk about.  "Time for bed."

      Eloy was sprawled back on the couch, his feet up in his mother's lap.
He yawned and stretched.  "Ja, I think you're right, Mamma."  Lifting his
feet off her lap, he stood and stretched, and then offered her a hand.  She
took it and he helped her to stand.  Taking her wineglass off the table,
she walked to the kitchen to rinse it out.  He padded behind her, leaning
on the counter.  Listening to the comforting sounds, he felt safe.  With
another yawn, he turned off the overhead light after she had finished, and
followed her up the stairs.  Giving her a hug and a kiss, he headed off to
the bedroom.

        He pulled off his clothes and got into the bed.  The sheets were a
little cold and he curled up on his side, wrapping his arms around his
knees.  He could hear his mother cleaning up in the bathroom, and he smiled
to himself.  She stopped off in the doorway on the way to her own room,
silhouetted by the hall light.

         "Goodnight, sweetheart.  Pleasant dreams," she said softly.

         "Goodnight, Mamma.  Pleasant dreams to you, too." He replied,
repeating their old nightly greeting. "Thank you, Mamma, for letting me
stay tonight."

          "Eloy, sweetheart, you are always welcome here.  You know that,"
she said as she reached in and closed the door over.  "Now, get to sleep.
And don't set any alarms!  You can sleep in as long as you want tomorrow.
Tonight!"

           He laughed as she shut off the hall light and went into her
room.  He felt warm and safe, here in his mother's house.  It was a good
decision to come here, he knew.  She was always good at making sure he was
in a good mood before heading to bed.  He mentally reviewed the weekend, as
seen from the point of view he had shown her from his stories.  It had been
a good weekend.  And he and Stephen had had a fantastic time.  Including
their lovemaking.  Here in the dark, he could admit it to himself that he
had enjoyed it all immensely.  He let go of the sadness he had felt on the
drive back.  Because there was no reason for it at all.  He knew this now
as he lay in his bed.  And though he had no idea what the future might hold
for the two of them, somehow he felt, deep inside, that what had happened
was meant to be.  As he drifted off to sleep, he thought he felt arms
wrapped around him and he smiled to himself, imagining a pair of laughing
blue eyes.....