Date: Sun, 14 Nov 1999 01:40:45 EST
From: CaRtOoN80@aol.com
Subject: Working for the boys 19

Working for the Boys 19

	Kevin and I were making more friends as the night went on. I met
lost of stars of TV, movies, and music. The highlight was meeting Gloria
Estefan. We talk for a few minutes about the guys possibly doing a duet
with her, but I had to decline because of scheduling. Kevin, on the other
had kept conversing with Andrew Lloyd Webber, asking where he came up with
such great music styles. I could tell Kevin was so intrigued by Andrew
Lloyd Webber, because he almost walked over Rosie O'Donnell when she tried
to talk to him. I walked up to Kevin and tapped him on the shoulder.

	"Hey, you want to head out now," I asked him.

	"Well, actually, they are having an after party," Kevin smiled.

"Oh, yeah Brian said he was going to meet us there."

	"Well, then. This ends in ten minutes, so we can go then, ok?"

I nodded and let Kevin keep having fun at his reincarnation party.


	Carson helped Nick down on the bed. Nick's sobs had stopped, yet
the sadness remained in his heart. Nick looked at Carson for a bit.

	"Why are you here," Nick asked.

	"Because, I want to make sure your ok. I know how you feel, I mean
with Kyle and everything.  He was my love."

	"And Tyler's was mine too."

	"But Nick," Carson said as he held Nick's face, "they both would
want us to move on. Now I am not saying that it should be us, but you
cannot stay in the past."

	"Carson, do you know how long ago Tyler died?"

	"Yes, about six months ago, right? Kyle died two years ago. I was
never going to date again."

	"What changed?"

	"I did. I realized that when I die and go wherever I go, I know
that Kyle would be there. I don't know how, I just knew."

"Well sorry if we don't jump back as fast as you, Carson," Nick started to
yell.

	"You know what, Nick. I was trying to be a friend, not a lover. I
am not trying to hit on you, but I guess Tyler doesn't want you to have
friends, either, huh? Listen, when you want a friend, give me a call."

	Carson got up and left.



	Ryan just stood there for a second than bolted.

	"Shit," Howie yelled. He started to put his pants on. And ran for
the door, which Brian blocked.

"What the fuck is going on, Howie," Brian demanded.

	"Look for yourself, shorty," Howie said as he looked back at AJ and
smirked, "AJ just cheated on Kevin.

	Howie slipped on a shirt as he ran to Ryan. AJ stared at Brian in
fear. Brian was so angry, that he didn't even hear AJ start to
explain. Brian threw himself towards AJ and tackled him. They wrestled on
the bed before the tumbled on the ground. Brian punched AJ before AJ threw
Brian off of him. AJ tried running for the door, but Brian, again tackled
him onto the bed. AJ threw Brian off again and successfully got out the
room. Brian was hot on his naked tail. AJ made it to his and Kevin's room
and tried to shut the door. Brian put his foot in the way and they both
struggled to open/close the door.

	"Brian, stop," AJ yelled.

	"What the fuck are you doing to Kevin," Brian yelled back.

	"You wouldn't understand!"

	"I understand perfectly, you're a fucking whore!"

AJ pushed the door almost closed, before Brian rammed it back open. AJ flew
onto the floor as Brian straddled him and started choking him.

	"Stop," AJ struggled to say.

	"I want to kill you, mutherfu-"

	"Think about the Backstreet Boys. You kill me, you kill our
career."

	Brian held AJ put the neck and decked him again before getting
up. AJ sighed as he tried to catch his breath.

	"Now you better explain, AJ," Brian threatened, "and have a good
excuse for me not to tell Kevin."


	Meanwhile, Nick slept soundly. The commotion going on in the
hallway didn't effect him at all.  Then he felt a light tapping on his
shoulder."

	"Nick," the voice whispered, "Nick, wake up."

	Nick opened his eyes.



	Howie finally found Ryan and Central Park. He sat near him and
looked at him.

	"Ryan, listen you need to understand-"

	"I understand perfectly, Howard," Ryan whispered. "I understand
that I gave up everything, my life, my baby, my sanity, my freedom, and
almost my career to be with you, Howard. I understand that I was going to
finally be one of the good guys as long as I was with you. I understand
that I took your bandmates teasing, humiliation and pure disgust to be with
you. I even understood your infatuation for AJ, that you promised was
over."

	"Ryan, I-"

	"I walk in, worried about where by boyfriend is, to find him
getting plowed by the man he's obsessed over-"

	"Ryan I can explain!"

	"And you want me to listen and understand. Understand what? That is
was just a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity you couldn't miss?"

	"It wasn't like that, he was threatening me. Threatening us."

	"You do not expect me to believe that shit, do you," Ryan
yelled. "You were going to get your jollies with AJ and still play me a
fiddle. Well, I don't play that song, Howard."

	"Ryan, listen to me. I am telling the truth. AJ somehow knew about
me tampering with Kevin's car and-"

	"Explain to me how you got from threatening to fucking?"

	"He wanted to erase the last time we- I mean the-"

	"You've had sex with him before?"

	"Ryan, listen-"

	"I've heard enough, Howard! I loved you more than I ever loved
anyone. We were equal, just as bad as me and just wanting a chance to
change, or so I thought."

	"I do!"

	"No, Howard. You don't want to change. You still want to be your
conniving, manipulative self.  Well, please go do so. Go use people's
hearts, wallets, and minds to get what you want. You go and squeeze all you
can out of a person's live for your glory or pure unadulterated
pleasure. But I will not stand here and watch. You may be happy being so
evil, but you will end up alone. Nobody to turn to but a cold, evil, frigid
old man in a mirror. And when you realize that that man is you, that is
when you will regret hurting the only man you'll probably ever love."

	"I already regret hurting you, Ryan. I did not mean to hurt you. I
mean what happened between AJ and I meant nothing to me."

	"Howard, what does mean something to you."

	"You do, Ryan."

	"No, you mean your lies. When is the last time you've told the
truth Howard? Yesterday? A week ago? A month? Perhaps a year or two? Or
were you two years old? I bet you don't even remember."

	Ryan laughs as he stands up.

	"Where are you going," Howie ask.

	"Away," Ryan says as he wipes the tears away. "I am staying away
from you and any associate of yours forever."

	Ryan starts to walk away.

	"Ryan, wait."

	Ryan stops and turns towards Howie.

	"What about the crimes?"

	"Oh, another thing you worry about. Don't worry. I am not telling
anybody and your not either. AJ may beat you to the punch and to tell you
the truth I hope he does. Howard Dorough will finally get what's coming to
him."

	Ryan walked away.


	Like lightening, Nick woke up. He walked to the bathroom and turned
on the shower.

	`Why am I so defensive towards Carson' he said to himself.

	"Because," the voice of Tyler echoed, "you're starting to fall for
him and your scared."

	Nick looked to his left to see an image of Tyler standing next to
him. He's been having the image of Tyler ever since Ty died. It's helped
him get over Tyler dying.

	`Scared of what,' Nick thought.

	"Of loving again, Nick. Every since you lost me, you've been so
dense into falling in love, of even being social. I mean you stopped
talking to everyone but Jamie. Now you're opening up more. It's time for
the next step."

	`And the next step would be?'

	"Opening your heart. Nicholas, you love me, I know you do. I know
you'll never love anyone like you love me, but loving someone else will not
take the place of loving me. It will add on."

	`What do you mean, Tyler?'

	"You love me, but I am not there. So, instead of forgetting our
love together, use it to include someone else in it. Your love is warm and
comforting, and it should always be comforting someone. Now, your heart is
ready to comfort Carson, but your not letting it. Just give it a try,
Nicholas. For me."

	`Tyler, I'm leaving tomorrow. Even if I wanted to, there would be
no time.'

	"Nick, make time, you know you can. Try."

	Nick looked at the mirror, then looked back to where Tyler was. He
disappeared. Nick sighed, and went into the shower.


	"So, AJ. Speak before I kill you," Brian sighed angrily at AJ.

	AJ put on some pants and then went to Brian.

	`Brian, you have to believe, first that what I did was for Kevin,"
AJ started.

	"Bullshit," Brian yelled. "If that was for Kevin, where is he. Why
did he comb the party looking for you?"

	"No, it's a weird and complicated story, and-"

	"Explain it! God, AJ, when we thought Kevin died, you took it the
worst. You were crying and blaming yourself. Continually announcing your
undying love for him. And let me, guess, for him, you had sex with Howie?"

	"For him, yes. As stupid, unconventional, and sick it sounds, I did
it for Kevin. And if you love Kevin you won't say a word, please?"

	"If I love Kevin I would. You're hurting him! Sleeping with Howie,
a man he knows wants you. It will kill him!"

	"Exactly, and why should we? Listen, you will never understand why
I did it so we can label it as a mistake, but you can understand this. At
our second wedding, Kevin said that the main reason, the reason he kept on
and stayed alive, is because of me. That I am his heart and soul. Now, you
cannot rip his heart away from him, can you?"

	"Don't make this seem like it will kill him."

	"But you said it would yourself. Please, Brian. I would do
anything, ANYTHING you want if you promise not to tell anybody. Nick,
Jamie, even Kevin. Promise?"

	AJ walked up and extended his hand to Brian. Instead, Brian decked
him in the face.

	"Even one more slip up, AJ, and it will be my job to keep you out
of my cousin's life forever."

	Brian left AJ's room. AJ breathed a sigh of relief. He walked to
the bed and lifted up the mattress.  He retrieved Howie's journal.

	`I hate to do this, Brian, but I need to make sure you never
breathe a word of this. Somewhere, Howie has something on you. There we
go. "Brian has told me there was one secret he kept from Kevin."  Howie
journal says that in print, so this is my proof towards Brian. This will
keep him quiet. Once and for all.'

	Just then, Kevin walked into the room.

	"Kevin," AJ said in surprise

	"Oh my god, AJ," Kevin said as he rushed to AJ's side. "What
happened to you, your all bruised up."

	"Um, I was jumped," AJ lied, "Nothing big."

	"Oh my god," Kevin said as he grabbed AJ. "Are you ok?"

	AJ nodded and the hugged each other for the night.



	Howie took another sip of vodka on rocks. He looked at the clock
and it was 2:30 in the morning.  He sighed and then looked at the glass.

	`Now what do I do,' Howie asked himself. `AJ knows everything,
probably tell Brian. Kevin will soon find out what I did to him. Then there
is Ryan. I can't believe I lost him. I am alone again, this time I won't
even have the guys. There is only one person I can trust. Myself. I have to
make sure AJ says nothing. I also have to find out how he knows, so that
way I can prevent it from happening.'

	Howie takes another sip, then puts the glass down. He throws down a
couple of bills and then leaves.


To Be Continued.