Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 11:57:40 EDT
From: MrClean290@aol.com
Subject: Love Me 16

Disclaimer: is there even a purpose of putting it here 16 chaps into a story?

Well, I gradute in a few days, so if my stories take a dip in the sap pool,
thats why.

ANYWAY.
Big shout outs to:
AJ of Josh and Just, seriously, if youre not reading his story, stop
reading mine, and read his, but dont forget to come back and read mine!
Aphrodite of a tale of two boybands, awesome awesome story!

Well, this would have been out way earlier, but of course my damn computer
had to go and break!  but the time has has given me time to think about the
future of da story, dont worry its not ending!  ANYWAY.  on to da story!

Chapter 16


Everybody dragged themselves to rehearsal the next day.  Darren took his
place in the front, and looked at everyone expecting them to start warming
up.  When he got no response he sat down and just waited.


NSYNC laid down on the stage and waited for directions, not getting any
they decided to catch up on some sleep.  TJ looked at Darren, as he became
more and more frustrated with the groups of singers.  TJ laughed at them
and continued his workout and routines.  He looked at his dancers.  His
dancers, all of his friends were now HIS dancers.  It was hard for him
believe, but he smiled to himself and watched as they filed in and got
dressed.


Nick, Andre, Tania, Charissa, and Gabe all came out of the dressing rooms
first and started to rehearse.  Soon, everyone was they, and stretched out,
everyone but Alex and Brandon.


	" Hey, Darren is busy with the children, so, um Andre, if its okay,
will you take over for him?"
	" Really?"
	" Of course, so go and figure out what we should work on and
learn."
	" Sure, I'll be back."


	" I hate to ask the obvious question, but where the hell are Alex
and Bran?"
	" Um, yeah, they, um."  Tania tried to be discreet, but finally she
just started to laugh and pointed to the dressing room.
	" Lord don't they ever get tired?"
	" Guess not, so while we wait, how is your love life Teej?"
	" Its fine, I guess."
	" You're fucking Lance Bass and all you can say is its okay?"
	" We're not fucking."
	" Oh, I understand the I guess part now."
	" Yeah, he wants to wait, I don't know why, but he does."
	" Talk to him."
	" I've tried, but he's so secretive, I don't want to pry."
	" You're his boyfriend TJ, you're supposed to pry."
	" Yeah, wait a sec, I'm getting relationship advise from two girls
who haven't had one in, how many years has it been?"
	" Shut up!  We date, we just don't have time for a serious one."
	" Yeah whatever!  Go out with Gabe, I'm sure he'd love it!"
	" Keep me out of this man!"  Gabe yelled from his spot.


TJ laughed at his friends and went back to working on lyrics.  Just as he
was about to hit a high note, Alex and Brandon came busting out of the
dressing room, barely dressed.  They fell over and on top of each other,
causing even the guys of NSYNC to turn their heads.  Darren saw this as an
opportunity to yell at them.  Meanwhile, Alex and Brandon apologized and
walked away to warm up.


	" You'd think they would have had enough of a work out in there."
Tania whispered to Nick and Charissa causing them to burst out laughing.


Alex noticed their laughing and the stares but went on with what he was
doing.  He wasn't going to apologize for being with Brandon, though, he
agreed that maybe they should have waited for a better time.  When he was
all warmed up, he made his way over to where the others were, he sat down
and waited for TJ and Andre to come.


	" So happy you two decided to come up for air and join us this fine
morning."
	" Shut up Tan!"
	" Come on, like you didn't expect people to talk.  You come in late
because you are enjoying a quickie in the back, you fall out of the room,
causing even those lazy asses over there to actually get up, and you expect
things to just go on with out any jokes, do you know who you're talking
to?"
	" Oh sorry, all mighty and powerful jokester you."
	" Keep it up and you'll be the butt of even more jokes."
	" Yeah whatever!"


	" Okay!  Enough fighting, Get in position for where you would be
for Crazy, I've got a new dance to teach you!"  " Yes teacher."  Tania
laughed as she got into position.  " Laugh at the two fuck bunnies all you
want, but don't start with me, cuz you know you'll go down faster than you
can say fuck me."  " Sorry."  " Ready?"  " Ready!"  The group of seven
yelled back as Andre started with the basic moves.


	" Hey, Darren, aren't you their choreographer?"
	" What?  Oh, no, I told TJ to out Andre in charge, which leaves me
more time with you lazy asses."
	" Hey!  I take offence to that, I'm the bets dancer here!"
	" Don't get cocky on me Timberlake.  Now shut up and get in line!"


Justin walked to his place thinking.  ' It wont be Timberlake for long.'
Just the thought of it made him smile as he took his place in front of
Chris.  Darren told them to practice Bye, Bye, Bye while he looked over his
noted for Its Gonna Be Me and I'll Never Stop.  He looked at the group of
four and wondered how he was going get their dancing perfect with a member
missing.  He went back to his notes as they practiced the dance.


Eric sat in the third row occasionally looking up from his work to smile at
his fiancée.


	' Wow, I'm getting married, again.  Is this real?  Is he real?  I
love his so much.  This time, it has to be perfect.'


Ruby had given Eric files and invoices to look over, he had agreed to take
over half of her work load so that the word relax could actually enter her
vocabulary. Ruby gladly shoved piles of files into his face, and Eric, who
had become quite bored when not looking after JJ, was glad to take them.


Eric looked over to the seat next to him.  He had placed JJ's car seat in
the arena seat.  JJ enjoyed looking at the dancers move, and singing made
him giggle.  As long as he wasn't crying, Eric could get his work done, and
not have to worry about JJ needing him.


JC finished the dance; it had become routine to them.  He looked over at
TJ's troupe and a faint smile played on his lips.  He watched as Nick and
Tania practiced a flip move.  JC knew that he liked Nick, but a
relationship was the last think on his mind.  He still had to give himself
time to get over the one that still made his heart cry and knees go weak.
He knew that Lance had already moved on, and found someone, JC was just now
realizing how deep the hurt was, how much he still loved him, but now, he
had to do the realizing, and getting over it, by himself.


Nick moved his head slightly, and saw JC looking over at them the smile on
his face was soon replaced with small frown.  Nick wondered what would make
him so sad.  He looked on for a few more moments before running and
flipping into position.


Darren felt as if he was forcing them to do the dances and eventually just
walked off the stage and sat in the seats and watched as they tried to
figure out what to do.  They stopped dancing and looked at Darren for
guidance.


	" What do you want me to say?  What is up with you guys?  You know
what I don't care, whatever it is, fix it, get over it, and shut up about
it.  You have a show tomorrow, and frankly I don't wanna watch for fear
that my work, as a choreographer will be trashed!  Continue if you want,
but I'm leaving, I'll be at the hotel if you need me."


Darren walked out of the arena and drove back to the hotel.  He knew that
it wasn't their faults that they were off.  NSYNC wasn't in sync.  They
suddenly became NSNC, and they couldn't work like that.  Darren felt a tad
guilty for yelling as he did, but they obviously weren't doing anything to
rectify the situation, and someone had to tell them to do something.
Darren walked back into his room and fell onto the bed.


	" He's right.  We suck."
	" Well maybe you do, but I don't swing that way."  Chris joked with
Justin to try to lighten the mood, he made Justin smile, but nothing else.
	" Seriously, what are we gonna do?"  Lance sat down on the stage
and asked as he watched TJ.
	" Well first, you have to stop drooling lover boy."  Chris laughed
in his face.
	" What?  Sorry, what did you say?"  His comment caused everyone,
even JC to laugh lightly.
	" We have to get Joey back."
	" Oh, yeah, like that's gonna be the easiest thing in the world.
He made it quite clear he doesn't want this, or us anymore."
	" He doesn't know what he wants Justin, but I know that he wants
this, and us, he just doesn't know hot to come back with out looking like a
quitter."
	" Then we have to make it looking like we are breaking up or
something, because really, without him, we have nothing."
	" It's a nice thought, but I know Joey, he'll feel even more
guilty."
	" Then what the fuck is your suggestion mister know it all?
Because I give up!  At least I'm trying, Jesus!"
	" Justin!"
	" Don't fucking Justin me!  My life is far more complicated than
any of yours and you want me to be the little innocent one?  I don't think
so!  I'm fucking 19, in a group that is falling apart, a father and getting
married; I need a fucking break, from everything.  Maybe Joey had the right
idea."


Justin walked away from his friends, leaving them all with gaping mouths
and in deep shock.  They looked into the audience to see Eric's reaction,
but he was deep in paper work, and bopping along to the music from his
earphones.  They were glad he didn't hear Justin's outburst.


	" He's getting married?"  Chris whispered to himself.
	" I don't believe it, he's too young!  How dare Eric even think
about that?"
	" Its not Eric's fault, they love each other, let it be."
	" No!  Look, we are a group, a family, and that man is not going to
rip us apart any more than he has."
	" What has he done?  He has asked the man he loves to marry him,
and become a father to his son.  He is helping Ruby to cope with all of her
work.  I'm sorry, but I don't see the harm in any of that.  And don't even
start up with the he broke my heart bullshit Josh, because we know that he
is no longer a concern in your heart, I am, and frankly, blaming him, for
your heartbreak is foolish and childish.  And right now, I'm ashamed to be
here talking to you!"


Lance was next to leave the group.  He ran to catch up with Justin before
he got into the limo for the hotel.  Chris stared at JC without stopping
until JC turned his head to face his friend.  JC saw that Chris wasn't at
all mad, but concerned.  JC saw the love, and broke down in tears.  Chris
gathered JC in his arms and held him as his body shook from the tears.  He
only stopped when the tears caused him to fall asleep.  Chris continued to
hold him as he stared off into space.  He looked at Eric.  It looked at is
he too was crying, but he couldn't figure out why.


Eric sat with his headphones on his head, but the music had been shut off
long ago.  He kept his head down to avoid having others seeing his tears.
He knew it was too good to be true.  He picked up the files in his
briefcase.  He picked JJ up, leaving the seat behind, and slowly walked out
of the arena.  He got outside and picked up his head.  He stared at the
sky.  It was sunset.  It was beautiful.  He wished he could have spent a
lifetime of sunsets with Justin, but now he realized that it was just a
wish, not a wish come true.


	" I'm sorry Justin, I never meant to hurt you."


Eric faced forward and his mouth gaped open.  Justin stood in front of him
his eyes were puffy.  His arms were spread open.


	" You could never hurt me, I love you."
	" But you don't want to marry me."
	" What?  Where did you get an idea like that?"
	" In there, you said-."
	" I said I had a lot on my plate, but I wouldn't give you up for
anything.  I want to marry you!  I want to JJ's daddy!  I just said it in a
way that sounded bad, but I want to spend my life with you, I just need a
break, I don't need this tour, and I don't need the pressure from the
possibility that Joey may never come back."
	" I'm sorry this is tearing you apart."
	" Me too, but that is business, this, us, is personal, and when I
have a bad day, I want to be able to come home to you, and to our son."
	" Our son?"
	" I already love him like I was his father, I can only hope that
Jason approves."
	" I know he does.  You are a blessing in my life, just as he was,
just as JJ is."
	" I love you."
	" I love you too."



	" Is he alright?"  Nick walked from his place at the other end of
the stage, where they had been trying to concentrate on their own things,
to Chris who was not talking to Ruby on his cell, and holding JC.
	" I think so.  I think he needed a good cry.  We all need one
occasionally."
	" Yeah.  If there is anything you need, from any of us, let us
know, we'll be here for a couple more hours.  Or at least 'til TJ decides
he can't take anymore and goes after Lance."
	" No, tell him to leave Lance be, he needs some space."
	" Alright.  Again, if you need anything, any of you."
	" We know Nick, thank you."
	" Anytime."


Nick walked back to the group to deliver Chris's message to TJ.


	" Oh Josh, if you ever decided to get over this, there is a man
over there, who obviously cares so much about you.  One day, I hope you
give him a chance, before the opportunity leaves you."



	" Teej!  I have a message for you."
	" Uh, what is it?"
	" Chris said to let Lance have his space right now."
	" Oh?  Okay, thanks Nick."
	" No problem."



Lance wondered the halls of the hotel.  Justin was right.  They needed a
break, but he also knew that they wouldn't get one for a long time.  Maybe
if they threatened the label with disbanding then they would allow them
some time.  Each member needed, at best a month, to just be in their own
world.


Justin needed time with Eric and JJ and get used to, and begin to build
their own family.  Chris and Ruby needed some non-touring time to be
together, to see if they really did work as well as they thought.  JC
needed some time to re-evaluate his feelings for Lance, and he needed time
to be away from him to get over him.  Lance needed time to learn how to
begin and build a loving and trusting relationship.  And Joey.  Joey needed
time to realize that this was not entirely his fault.  He needed time to
come to the conclusion, on his own, what was best for him, in relation to
NSYNC.


Chris got JC into the limo and up to his room and into bed.  He had a
feeling that JC just needed a little rest, then maybe, and hopefully, all
would be tolerable tomorrow for the concert.  Chris shut the lights and
walked to his own room.  Ruby was on her laptop and waved to him as he
walked in and took off his shirt.


Chris stripped down to his boxers and fell into bed.  Ruby laughed at his
as he curled up under the covers like a child.  She pressed save and walked
over to her boyfriend.  She kissed his lips lightly before shutting the
lights by the bed and walking back to her computer.  She was talking to
Emily at the moment.


	RTJones: Sorry, Em, I'm back, has to kiss Chris before he fell
asleep.
	Emmy00: You two are so cute!
	RTJones: So, what were we talking about again?"
	Emmy00: Eric and Justin.
	RTJones: Oh yeah, Its gonna be hard for them
	Emmy00: Why?
	RTJones: I have this feeling that Justin hasn't told his parents
about his being gay.  Telling them that he is getting married, to man,
might not go down so well.
	Emmy00: Oh, wow. They don't know?
	RTJones: Yeah, I erg them to tell them soon, but who knows!  Shit,
Em, I have to go to bed, we have an early day tomorrow.
	Emmy00: Bye sister dear.


Ruby signed off.  She knew she would have to talk to Eric about Justin
soon, but for tonight, all she wanted to do was curl up next to the man she
loved and hold him all night.  Ruby took a quick shower then climbed in
next to Chris and wrapped her arms around him as she drifted off to sleep.


Eric put JJ to bed and listened to the fall of the water from Justin's
shower.  He walked to the stereo and turned it on.  He didn't really care
what came on, as long as it wasn't an up-tempo song.  Fortunately it
wasn't.  It was some top 40 song.  Eric though he still didn't like this
type of music, but he put up with it for Justin's sake.  Eric sat back on
the bed, he felt his eyes close with the heaviness of sleep as he listened
to the words.  Justin came out of the shower and smiled as he saw his
fiancée dozing off.  Justin put on a pair of boxers and slipped into bed
next to Eric.  Eric stirred slightly as Justin shut the lights and cuddled
up next to Eric.


TJ sat up for hours wondering how he could help Lance.  At the same time,
he wondered if their relationship would ever progress passed holding hands
and kissing.  TJ liked all of that, but Lance didn't even attempt to go
farther, and when TJ did, Lance just walked away, not saying a word.  TJ
saw that Lance cared about him, but he didn't understand what was keeping
him from go farther with their relationship.  TJ got up and walked to
Lance's room.  He knocked loudly, as if he was demanding an answer right
then and there.


Lance came to the door, his eyes red.  He motioned for TJ to come in, then
got back into bed.  TJ sat in the chair next to the bed a waited a moment
before talking.


	" Lance, look.  I don't know what's wrong, exactly within the
group, but that's none of my business.  What is my business, is you, and
me, and us.  And I want this, us, to happen, but I cant if every time we
attempt to get serious, you turn away, not saying a thing.  I need to know
what's going on with you!"
	" Where is this coming from?"
	" Its something I've needed to talk to you about for a while."
	" Oh."
	" Please.  I believe that we have something that could be
everlasting, but I need to know that you feel the same, or else, I wont,
can't do this."
	" I, I don't know what you want from me.  I just want to take
things slow."
	" There is a difference between slow, and non-existent."
	" So what, if I don't give you an answer, we're over."
	" It's your call."
	" I'm sorry, I don't know what you want to know."
	" Please!  I'm down on my knees, begging you, please, tell me why?"
	" I don't want you to walk out on me."  Lance whispered it so
softly, TJ wasn't sure he heard him right.
	" Why would that happen?"
	" Because the last time I loved someone, like I love you, he left
me!"
	" You, you love me?"
	" Yes.  And I want to, share myself with you, but I'm afraid that
you'll walk out on me too."
	" I'm not JC, and I don't ever want you to think I am."
	" I know, it's just that, I'm scared.  He was my first, and I
haven't been with anyone, that I loved, since him."


TJ moved to the bed, took Lance's hand in his, and put his other hand under
Lance's chin.


	" I love you too.  You are my first in kisses, in love, in making
love.  I don't want to be even a minute without you, I wont leave you."
	" I want to believe you."
	" Please, Lance, believe me, its true."
	" I love you."
	" I know you do."
	" But I don't know if I'm ready to trust myself with someone else."
	" What?"
	" I'm sorry TJ, but I don't want this, or us."
	" You're kidding me, right?"
	" No."


TJ got up and walked to the door.


	" I don't know what to say.  I never thought I'd understand the
pain JC caused you, now I do."  With that he shut the door and walked away.


Lance sat, stunned at what he had just done.  He fell to the floor in
tears.  His heart was breaking in two different direction, but he couldn't
tell which was hurting more, the half from his and JC's love, or the pain
from his and TJ's.


Alex and Brandon both fell into bed.  Andre had worked them hard, harder
than Darren had, but he was an awesome choreographer, so in the end, it
paid off.  Brandon, for some reason, felt extremely bad for what had
happened that morning.  He loved being with Alex, no questions asked, but
sometimes, well sometimes, he didn't want the sex, he just wanted the
romance.  He knew Alex wanted that too, but he never admitted it.  Brandon
didn't want to push it, but he knew that they would have to talk soon.


	" Bran, what's wrong?"  Alex asked as Brandon disappeared under the
covers.
	" What?  Nothing, I'm just tired."
	" You sure?"
	" Yeah, we'll talk in the morning okay?"
	" Okay."
	" Goodnight, I love you."
	" Love you too."



Joey didn't leave his room.  His bathroom was attached, if he needed food,
his mom or Steven would bring it, or he would order out, and then have
someone bring it to him.  He was acting like a child, but not a child who
refused to do things, but a child who didn't know how to do things.
Something inside of him didn't seem to work when he wasn't around the guys.
He needed them, but he didn't know how to get them back.


Joey sat on the windowsill, watching the rain as it hit the glass.
Outside, it seemed to so perfect, if only his life was even a smidgen of
that perfection.


	" A heart full of words left unspoken,
    	Now that we're through.
    	I'd sell my soul to have the silence broken.
    	I thought she knew."


Joey sang his verse to himself, now truly understanding each of the words.
He continued to watch the rain as so many song, poems, words ran though his
mind, so many things he want to tell her, so many things he would never
have the chance to tell her.


	" She was my once in a lifetime.
   	 Happy ending come true.
   	 I guess I should have told her.
    	Oh, I thought she knew.
    	She said I took her for granted.
    	That's the last thing I would do.
    	Oh, I'll never understand it.
    	I thought she knew.


  	 I thought she knew
   	 My world revolved around her.
    	 My love light burns for her alone.
    	 But she didn't see the flame.
    	 Only myself to blame
   	 I should have known


    	A heart full of words left unspoken,
    	Now that we're through.
    	I'd sell my soul to have the silence broken.
    	I thought she knew."


Joey walked to his stereo and out on track 12, repeat.  This song seemed to
be a comfort to him.  He didn't know why, but it brought him peace.  He
loved Britney.  He only wished she knew how much.


	" I thought she knew
    	My world revolved around her.
    	My love light burns for her alone.
   	 But she didn't see the flame.
    	Only myself to blame
    	I should have known

	She was my once in a lifetime.
	Happy ending come true.
 	I guess I should have told her.
   	Oh, I thought she knew.
   	She said I took her for granted.
   	That's the last thing I would do.
   	Oh, I'll never understand it.
   	I thought she knew.
 	(I thought she knew)
	I thought she knew
 	(I thought she knew)
	I thought she.....
	knew......."

( I thought she knew, NSYNC, No Strings Attached)
~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmmm.  yes, more Brit reminising.  this story will take an exciting turn
soon, dont worry!  as for Lance and TJ.  i'd like tyo hear your throughts
on this.  i have a set plan, but i wonder if any of you pick up on what im
doing

Well, my schedule is starting to get both freer and bussier, lol.  i
graduate on sunday, then i start work on monday.  but i will still try to
write at least once a week.!

as for my other stories, I'll be writing forever once a week too, or at
least i'll try.  as for Destiny.  im so damn stuck.  so after 19, im gonna
ask you guys to help out, cus frankly i just dont know anymore, lol.

Feedback?  Thanks!
~Elisheva~
MrClean290@aol.com