Date: Sun, 23 Jul 2000 18:52:54 EDT
From: MrClean290@aol.com
Subject: Love Me 17

Disclaimer: i still dont know any one in this story, well none of the real
ones anyway, tho i will be seein my lance on Aug 1st!!!

Its been a while, and im sorry for the long ass wait.  to all of the
amazing authors to whose stories i have yet to read and send feeback, im
gonna try to get all caught up b4 i leave for school!

Hey to AJ!  hey babe!  :)
ok on to the story!


Chapter 17


	"What am I supposed to do with all these blues
	Haunting Me
	Everywhere no matter what I do
	Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
	I can't let go
	When will this night be over?"


	"I quit, I quit, 'Cos loving you's a job I don't just need.  Ain't
gonna go to work no more.  I quit, I quit.  The situations vacant for me.
Ain't gonna go to work no more.  Ain't gonna go to work no more, ain't
gonna go to work."


Joey walked around the halls of the hotel in a drunken mess.  His lame
attempt at singing Hepburn's ' I Quit,' was quite a sight to see.  It was a
surprise no one had woken up from his yelling.  Joey just didn't care
anymore.  He had flown back to talk to the guys but when he got off the
plane, ' Oops' was playing on the airport radio station.  Instead of
letting the much wanted tears fall, he took a cab to the nearest liquor
store and bought as much booze as he had money for.


With his beer and vodka in hand he rode back to the hotel and walked the 15
flights to their private floor.  He arranged all of the bottles in a line.
He would drink one, put it back in the line, then smash it trying to make
the sound as loud as he could make it.


By the time he finished the line of beer, he couldn't walk or talk
straight, never mind sing straight.  Joey tried to remember more lyrics to
sing, but his mind drew a blank.  He opened his mouth to sing and the first
song to pop out of his mouth, was, to his surprise the song that sent him
into this state of drunken madness in the first place.


	"Oops!...I did it again, I, um I played with your heart, got lost
in the fucking game.  Oh baby, baby, Oops!...You think I'm in love, why the
fuck would you think that asshole?  That I'm sent from above, that you're
not, I'm not that innocent, no no no you're not Miss Britney fucking
Spears!  Oh baby baby!"


Joey pounded his fists on the first door he came in contact with and
continued to sing, well it wasn't really singing, it was more of a drunken
scream.


	"I think I did it again.  I made you believe we're more than just
friends.  Oh baby.  It might seem like a crush.  But it doesn't mean that
I'm serious 'Cause to lose all my senses.  That is just so typically me.
Oh baby, baby."


As soon as he pounded on the door along with ' Oh baby baby,' the door
swung open and Joey fell, flat on his face, into the room.


	" What the fuck man?  Haven't you ever heard of respect."
	" I was singin', that's my job."
	" Yeah, whatever, at least you could have sung it right.  Get up
you lazy ass."
	" Never knew you cared so much."
	" I don't, but I need my sleep, because unlike you, I would never
think of abandoning my friends when they need me the most."
	" Like anybody even notices you at shows.  You're just a stupid
little gay boy who prances around on stage."
	" And you're an asshole who raped the girl he claimed to love!"



Joey's head shot up in shock.


	" What?  You didn't think I couldn't defend myself?  Give me that
before I get a headache."


Joey crawled into the room fully and the door closed.  He looked around the
room, trying to find his bottle, only to see that it was being drunk out
of.


	" Hey!  That was mine!"


Joey reached up, hit nothing and his arm fell down again.


	" You should know something Joey, I have an extremely low tolerance
for alcohol, you'd think a man in his 20's could hold more than a couple
shots of this stuff, but if you did you'd be wrong."
	" Whatever."
	" I tend to do crazy things when I'm drunk."
	" Yeah, well if they involves letting me sleep, I'm all for it."
	" Oh, you'll be sleeping alright, but not after we have some fun."
	" Fun?  Huh?"
	" Oh yeah, and you'll enjoy ever second of it."


	"I didn't mean to fall
	In love with you
	And baby there's a name
	For what you put me through
	It isn't love
	Its robbery
	I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me."


Britney wandered the lobby of the boys' hotel.  She had flown in from
Sweden, physically, she was all better.  Mentally though, she was a wreck.
All she could think of was Joey.  He had sent her a few postcards over the
past weeks that she had been away.  She knew that he had gone home, and was
trying to rebuild himself.  He had told her that he would be back with the
tour the first week of august, so she too planned to go back.  She wanted
her return to be a surprise though, from everyone.  She didn't even tell
Justin.


Mostly, she wanted to find a way to rebuild their relationship.  She was
ready to forgive and put it to memories.  All Britney ever wanted was a man
to love, and to love her back.  To her, Joey was that man.  Now, all she
had to do was find him, and find herself within his heart.



	" Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
	Phantom ships
	Lost at sea and one of them is mine
	Raising my glass, I sing a toast to the midnight sky
	I wonder why the stars don't seem to guide me

	I didn't mean to fall
	In love with you
	And baby there's a name
	For what you put me through
	It isn't love
	Its robbery
	I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me."


Joey crawled onto the bed, unaware of his actions.  Andre was, after just a
couple shots, completely plastered.  Joey looked at the other man, and the
face didn't register.  All that he saw was the face of the woman he loved.
Not saying a word, he grabbed the head and pulled it down to his lips.  The
lips opened and returned the kiss.  That all Joey remembered doing.



	" The ghost of you and me
	When will it set me free?
	I hear the voices call following footsteps down the hall
	Trying to save me what left of my heart and soul

	Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
	I can't let go
	When will this night be over?"



Britney took the elevator to their floor.  She was able to get a few
numbers from the front desk.  Andre was in room 1020, Brandon and Alex were
in room 1034, and TJ was in room 1092.  She knew that Andre was sometimes
up late.  She searched the floor until she came to his door.  She raised
her hand to knock when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and
lift her up off the ground and spin her around.



	" I didn't mean to fall
	In love with you
	And baby there's a name
	For what you put me through
	It isn't love
	I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me."


Justin woke from his sleep.  He heard Eric tossing and turning in his
sleep.  He looked over at his fiancée.  He was silently crying in his
sleep.  When Justin went to touch Eric's tear drenched cheek, Eric recoiled
and curled up in a ball.  Justin retracted his hand and slid down to face
Eric.



	" Baby, what's wrong, please wake up and tell me."
	" I didn't mean to.  It's my fault you're gone."
	" Eric, what are talking about?"


Justin shook his lover, hoping to wake him.


	" We were supposed to be newlyweds, our happiest times."
	" Eric?  Please, you're scaring me."
	" I don't love him, I will always love you, Jase, don't leave me."


Justin knew it was only a dream.  However, somewhere inside of him went
crazy.  He got out of bed and ran out of the room.  he saw a woman about to
knock on someone's door and checked his watch.  It was around 3 o'clock in
the morning.  The woman turned her head slightly, and her hair fell out of
the clip that was holding her layered chin length hair up.  Justin walked
closer to see if he knew her.  When Justin realized who it was he ran to
her and hugged her tightly.



	" I didn't mean to fall
	In love with you
	And baby there's a name
	For what you put me through
	It isn't love
	Its robbery
	I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me."



	" Put me down, what the fuck?"
	" Britney, baby, its me."
	" Jesus Justin, don't do that!"
	" Sorry babe.  What are doing back?"
	" I'm back, for good."
	" But Joey is here-."
	" I know.  I'm here, I'm back.  hopefully, we can be back together
before the next show."
	" I admire your ability to forget the past."
	" I have to.  He's my heart.  Al I've ever wanted was someone to
love me like Joey does, I need him.  kinda like you and Eric need each
other."
	" Yeah, me and Eric."
	" What?"
	" He had a dream.  He said he could never love me, only Jason."
	" He still grieves for him.  Justin, but I know he wants you."


Britney looked own to look for her clip when something caught her eye.  She
raised her head and took Justin's hand in hers.


	" I think this proves he wants you."
	" But, his dreams."
	" Justin.  He wants you.  But you have to understand something.  In
one year, he has been engaged, seen his fiancée die, gotten a son and
fallen in love with another man who he wants to marry.  These dreams could
just be worry that something will happen to you too."
	" I never thought about it like that."
	" Yeah, well that's why I'm here.  To set you straight, so to
speak!"
	" Shush you, come on, you can stay in our room.  if you don't mind
sleeping in the same room as the baby."
	" No, that's alright, I can talk to Andre in the morning.  Thanks
Juju."
	" Anytime Brit."



	"I didn't mean to fall
	In love with you
	And baby there's a name
	For what you put me through
	It isn't love
	Its robbery
	I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me."


Lance paced his room.  He couldn't sleep.  Did anyone expect him to?  He
had just dumped the man who had made him feel complete again.  He wanted to
take it all back.  To tell TJ that he wanted to make love, to hold he and
kiss him and love him.  That just shattered dreams now.  Lance sat on the
edge of his bed and stared at the patterns on the floor.  Small paisleys
floated through the flowers on the tacky colored carpet.


He got himself a cup of water and left his room.  He walked past Justin and
Eric's room and heard light laughter coming from with in.  He smiled and
went along his way.  He walked to JC's door.  He heard the faint sounds of
BBMak's 'Sooner of later' coming from the room.  JC always did that.  He
always forgot to turn off the stereo.


They used to fall asleep to music, usually something calming like piano
music or jazz.  Lance shook his head.  he wouldn't get anywhere remembering
the past.  His head was full of ghosts.  Ghosts of TJ, and of JC and of his
life with both of them.  He stopped and looked at JC's door, as if it was
going to tell him all the answers he needed to know.


He put a hand on the door then recoiled as soon he touched it.  He heard
the sounds of love making coming from with in.  He backed away from the
door as the sounds became recognizable.



	" G-d, Josh that feels so fucking good!"
	" Ugh, Trey, you're so tight, I'm gonna..."



Lance wanted to run so far from what he was hearing.  But his feet were
plastered to the floor.  He stumbled backwards and fell, hitting his head
on the wall as he crashed down to the floor.


	" Shit, mother fucker!"


Lance screamed out in pain.  He wanted to get away from the door before it
opened.  He picked himself up and ran back to his room, not noticing the
blood on his hand, or the silent gasps of two men as a door opened.



Morning came, and Britney stretched her arms only to discover she was in
the arms of her best friend that they were laying on the carpet.  She
detached herself from his arms and covered Justin in a blanket and walked
down the halls of the large suite.  She saw Eric sitting up in bed watched
TV.  She walked in and plopped down beside him.


	" Hey."
	" Hey Miss Brit, what's up?"
	" Not much.  sorry I stole your fiancée for the night."
	" That's alright.  I can't imagine him wanting to sleep with me
after last night."
	" Huh?"
	" I woke up after he left and followed him outside.  I watched and
listened to the two of you talk."
	" Oh."
	" It was a dream."
	" I know that.  So does he.  He just needs time that's all."
	" Good."


	" Well, I am gonna go see about food, you wanna come?"
	" Nah, I'll stay here and wait for Justin."
	" Okay babes, talk to you later."


Britney opened the door and looked around the hall.  she saw the door for
room 1020 open.  She looked down and saw the paper.  She remembered that
that was Andre's room, and that she needed to talk to him.  when she looked
back up, she saw Andre and a man looking at each other.  Talking in
whisper.



	" I don't remember what happened."
	" I know, but I don't think we-."
	" Oh, g-d, did we?"
	" I dont't know.  Joe, we got drunk as hell."
	" I know."


	" It was fun though."
	" It was fun?  I can't believe you would think that!  Though don't
disagree."
	" You're so bad."
	" Maybe."
	" So, um, tonight?"
	" Of course."
	" Though this time, I think I'll bring water!"



Joey leaned in towards the man when he heard a gasp and a sob.  He whipped
his head around and saw Britney.  Britney Jean Spears, the woman his heart
yearned for, leaning against the door, sobbing.


	" I came back for you, I believed that we still, that we, that we
had a future.  I guess I was wrong."


Britney wiped her eyes and ran down the hall to the lobby.  She knew she'd
find a familiar face there.  She ran until her legs gave out on her and she
collapsed onto a chair.  Still in her PJ's and slippers, she let her tears
take over and her body shook.


Britney remembered being lifted up and taken to a bed.  She remembered the
feeling of strong arms around her body and a cologne she knew all too well
around her nose.


	" I loved you Joe, why did you have to hurt me again?"
	" I love you Britney, just sleep now."


	"I didn't mean to fall
	In love with you
	And baby there's a name
	For what you put me through
	It isn't love
	Its robbery
	I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me."
	(Ghost of you and me, BBMak)

~~~~~~

Whew, ive been tryin to write that one for a while!  but its done.  and im
trying to write more often.  Tho, from Agu 13-Aug 28 i may not be on a
computer, so it may make it hard to get another chapter out before school
starts, but i'll try!  Please send me feedback!  thanks, Elisheva,
MrClean290@aol.com