Date: Sat, 23 Dec 2000 17:40:01 -0500
From: Adam Irwin <bottledup03@hotmail.com>
Subject: Reaching Out 3

                           Last time on Reaching Out

    JC turned, to see Chris and Lance staring. Neither of them knew what to
       do, what to say. They both stood still, silent, almost as if they
     weren't even aware of where they were at the moment. JC stared back at
       them, he too didn't know what to do. But his mind was racing with
                    feelings, feelings he couldn't control.


     "What the fuck are you doing? Get your stuff. We have to be their." JC
     rushed into the house quickly, Chris and Lance stayed still. With in a
      minute JC was back outside, his keys and coat in his hands. Joey and
    Lance realized what was really going on, and jumped into his car, as JC
         pulled off down the road en route to the hospital in Orlando.

                                 -------------

"Where's Justin Timberlake?" JC ran straight to the reception desk in the
hospital, quickly questioning the placement of his friend.

"I'm sorry sir, I'm going to need to know more then a name."

"He was just brought in, it was a 911 call. Um, curly, blond hair, blue
eyes." Lance didn't know what else to say about his friend. He would have
left the description up to JC, but JC didn't say a thing after she told
him that they needed more then a name.

"Was it a suicide attempt?" The receptionist asked, stopping on a sheet
of paper on the desk.

"I think, probably a stomach pumping." Chris replied, shuddering at the
word suicide. He still didn't want to believe, neither did Lance, neither
did JC. Especially not JC.

"He's in the emergency room, his stomach is being pumped. If you wouldn't
mind following the nurse right their, she'll take you to a quiet waiting
room reserved for your privacy." The nurse that the receptionist had
pointed to slowly escorted them to the waiting room she had spoke about,
leaving them in silence.

---------------

"Is Britney their?" Chris spoke into the phone in his most serious voice.
He knew that they all expected him to be a joking man, and his biggest
fear was that they would think he wasn't telling the truth.

"Hey Chris." Britney replied cheerfully, and Chris once again felt fear
coming into play. He didn't want to be the one that told her.

"Um, Britney, I've got some bad news." Chris didn't know how to start, he
didn't know how anyone could explain this sort of thing to a friend.

"What? What happened?" Britney's nervousness was evident in her voice.

"Justin, he tried to kill himself."

The line was silent, the room Chris sat in was silent. Mostly because he
was by himself, but even the clock seemed to have stopped ticking. The
only thing that could be heard was the heartbeats of the two friends.

"He's alright isn't he? I mean, he's not dead."

"We don't know, he's still in the emergency room. They're, they're
pumping his stomach."

"Oh my god, I'll be their soon. I'm coming now, I'm coming." Britney hung
up just like that, leaving Chris alone. Chris clicked off the phone, and
looked around the room. He had managed to call everyone that would need
to know quickly. That list included Justin's two sets of parents, Joey
and Dani who had remained at the apartment, and Britney. They were all on
their way, which meant Justin's mother and step-father should arrive
soon, along with Joey and Dani. He also knew that Britney would arrive
within half an hour, since she was the last to be informed. But Justin's
father and step-mother along with his two step-brothers would not arrived
for a day at least, being that they lived in Tennessee.

--------------

Meanwhile in the cafeteria of the hospital, Lance is having a hard time
keeping JC calm.

"I can't take this. I wanna go back to the room. I need to be their when
they tell us whats going on. I need to be their when Lynn comes. I have
to know." In front of his own eyes, Lance was witnessing one of the first
times JC had ever really broken down. Not just a yell, but in front of
him JC was crying out in worry.

"It's okay Josh. Justin's gonna make it, he's tough. He'll pull through.
Come on, we'll go wait if you want." Lance knew it was the only thing
that would keep JC even remotely happy. Happy for the situation they were
in.

---------------

"Where is he? Is he alright?" Lynn Harless rushed into the waiting room
she had been directed to her. Her husband and Justin's step-father, Paul,
was only seconds behind her.

"We don't know yet Lynn. They haven't talked to us yet." Lance's solemn
face, and his solemn voice answered for her.

The room was silent now. Just waiting, nothing to do, but wait. Joey and
Dani arrived shortly, and Britney not long after them. Soon they all were
sitting in the room in silence. None of them spoke, only tears filled the
room, echoeing off the walls a forbidding noise. None of them wanted to
break it, none of them knew how to break it.

Dani cried in Chris' arms, Chris kept a strong face, but it was obvious
that he wanted to cry. Lance was asleep, his face was evident of pain and
discomfort. Britney was crying softly, her head lain on Joey's shoulder
as he ran his own fingers through his hair. Lynn and Paul Harless were
holding hands, silently repeating a prayer over and over again. And next
to them, with blank expressions on his face sat JC. It was almost as if
he wasn't their, wasn't aware of what was going on. But they all knew
that he was the most aware, the most worried, the most afraid of what
they were waiting for. News on Justin's health.

"I'm sorry to keep you all waiting. Their was another patient rushed in
and I had to tend to him before I could get by. Are you all family?" A
young man, no older then 30 stood before them in a doctor's coat."

"We are all close enough to family." Joey replied, as he shook Lance.
Lance woke up, noticing the doctor he rubbed his eyes quickly, wanting to
be wide awake for the news.

"Justin is doing fine now. We've pumped his stomach, and we are sure that
we've removed all the pills from his system. You can see him whenever
you'd like, but he is not awake, the anesthetic hasn't worn off yet. But
I'm going to tell you that he does have a tube in his nose to breath, he
was unconcious for a while and we want to make sure that he gets enough
air to his brain."

"But we can see him right?" Britney asked, her tears now gone. The
other's couldn't pin point it, but it almost sounded like anger was in
her voice.

"Yes, you can see him. But I would suggest that you see him one at a
time, two at most. And I would probably limit only one visit for right
now. So who ever is closest to him should be the first to visit." The
doctor walked out of the room leaving them all with a tough decision.
They were all so close to Justin, but they knew that the choices were
limited to Justin's parents, Britney or JC.

"You two can go in. You're his parents." JC spoke with disappointment,
but he was not going to take the rights away from Justin's parents. They
deserved to see him first, he was their son.

"No, you're the closest to him Joshua. You got him here, you should be
the first one to see him." JC jumped up with the words, he was shocked
that they would allow him to be the first.

"Thanks." JC didn't know what else to say as he walked out of the room.
But he did know that he had forgotten to find out what room Justin was
in. Heading for the desk, and stopped and looked at the receptionist
sitting behind it. "Excuse me, what room is Justin Timberlake in?"

"Um, hold on." After a second of checking, she turned to face him. "219,
right down the hall and on the left."

"Thanks." JC nodded his head at her, and took off quickly for the room.
He slid the door open quietly and slowly. Afraid to see his friend of so
long in the hospital. But he did realize that he had been in the hospital
for hours, and it was only now that he was beginning to get his familiar
feeling of fear when it came to doctors and hospitals.

But he pushed past the fear, and walked to the side of the bed. Justin
was sleeping, his head propped up on three pillows, his hair a mess, and
his body adorned in a hospital gown instead of his regular street
clothes.

"Oh Justin. Why the fuck would you do this to us? To yourself? What the
hell were you thinking?" JC wanted to cry, he wanted to hit Justin, he
wanted to hit himself. But he just stood still shaking his head in
disbelief that he was really looking at his friend's body, only hours
after he had tried to kill himself.

"josh" The small voice caught him off guard, but he grabbed Justin's hand
and squeezed it for reassurance.

"I'm here Justin." JC's voice was full of so many emotions, that he knew
Justin, for one of the first times, would not be able to decipher how he
was truly feeling.

"Where am I?" Raising himself up a little, Justin squinted to get a
better glimpse of the room. "Why are you here?"

"Because I love you, I'm your best friend, why wouldn't I be here?" JC
asked out of confusion, unsure of what Justin was talking about.

"No, I mean, you didn't die." Justin added, still trying to focus his
eyes on the settings of his surroundings.

"And neither did you. You're lucky, we're all lucky, I don't know what we
would've done with out me." JC smiled, happy to realize that Justin was
alive.

"You would've replaced me in the band. You all would've found some one
and been happy, you would've forgotten about me." Justin replied to JC,
no emotion came from Justin's voice, no emotion showed on his face. And
it was JC's turn to find it hard to find one.

"We never could have replaced you Justin. I don't know what's been going
on with you lately. I wish I did, I want to be here for you. I want you
to come to me like you used to. But if you tried killing yourself, maybe
you couldn't turn to anyone." JC released the hand he had been holding,
and took a seat in the corner of the room.

"You wanna know what's going on JC?" Justin asked with anger in his
words, as they came hissing out of his mouth. JC just shook his head,
waiting to hear something that he wasn't expecting.

"I've been getting drunk every night, it was only last night that I got
caught. I do drugs Josh, I've done so many, so many different types. And
I do it because I'm afraid, I'm afraid of losing every body. I'm afraid
of what you all think, afraid of the truth." Justin was now in tears, and
JC was sitting in shock. He made no attempt to get up and comfort Justin,
he couldn't do anything but sit in shock.

"They accepted me when I came out. What could be worse of a secret then
that?" JC asked, the first thing that popped into his head.

"Not them really, you Josh. It's you that I don't want to lose. I need
you more then anyone in my life. Your my best friend, that's it, that's
all I'll ever be to you, but I love you. I love you." Justin was
whispering as he finished. His tears stung his face, dripping off onto
the bed. The tube in his nose was bothering him as he sniffled back sobs
and more tears.

"I love you too Justin. But, what do you mean that we'll only be best
friends? Do you want it to be more then that?"

"yeah"

The answer was meek, timid, and practically not even there at all. Justin
didn't look up, if he had he would have seen that JC was coming closer to
him. Had he been paying attention he would have seen his bestfriend of 8
years standing over him, watching him with love.

"Justin, look at me." Justin didn't move on the request, he kept his eyes
staring at the sheets that wrapped around him in the bed. "Justin, look
at me." The demand was more comanding, and Justin timidly looked up.

"You hate me, if you hate me you can. I should have told you earlier,
god, I should've told you when you came out. I'm so fucked up Josh. You
don't understand, I can't take this any more. I'm missing so much, and I
don't even know what it is that I want that I'm missing."

"Justin, please, just let me talk for a minute." JC held back in
laughter. "You're right, you should have told me earlier. But it's not
too late. I'm still here, and thank God you are too. I love you Justin,
in every way you love me. And since it doesn't look like you are going to
ask, do you want to be my boyfriend Justin?"

Justin's eyes had already welled up with tears from his own rambling, but
after JC's words come out, he just let them all out. "Yes." His answers
was as meek and timid as the last yes he had uttered, but this time it
was more confident then the last one.

--------------

4 days have passed.

"You ready babe." JC was standing outside of the bathroom door at
Justin's mother's house. Christmas Eve was a time they spent their, and
Justin was in the bathroom washing his hands before dinner.

"In a minute." In the bathroom, Justin was finishing up, staring at
himself in the mirror. He was surprised that JC had already barged down
the door, he had been in their a good five minutes. He was finding it the
only place he could go to get away from any one for a few minutes. They
were all concerned with his health, not physically, but mentally, and
leaving him alone seemed to be out of the question for all of them.
"Alright, done."

Justin walked out of the bathroom, smiling at JC. JC returned the smile,
and they walked down the steps hand in hand. Their relationship hadn't
progressed to much, just heavy making out and touching each other
lovingly in front of their friends. All of them were happy for the two,
including Justin's parents, who seemed to be just happy that Justin was
with some one, some one they knew was sturdy and dependent.

"Finally. We were about to serve dinner without the two of you." Lynn
Harless joked, as they sat down in their saved seats. The kitchen was
crowded, filled with one long table, and one smaller one for the younger
children.

All their friends sat around the table, Justin's total of four parents,
his brothers Steven and Jonathon. JC's parents, and brother Tyler, and
sister Heather. Their bandmates, Joey, Chris, and Lance, and Britney
along with them. It made a large group of people, and unfortunately for
Tyler and Heather they were stuck sitting at the child's table with
Steven and Jonathon.

Grace was said by Paul Harless, and the meal began. Laughter and
entertainment filled the table, and it was hard to even tell that only
four days had passed since they almost lost Justin to his own turmoil.
But only Britney knew that the problems weren't over, she could tell that
he was probably still doing the drugs whenever he was alone, probably in
the bathroom.

"What are everyone's plans for Christmas?" Randall Timberlake brought up
the holiday looking around the room. He knew the answers that would come
from the Chasez's and the Harless', because the three families were
spending the holiday together in the Harless Residence, but he questioned
Justin's friends, not knowing thier plans.

"Um, I'm going up to Pittsburgh." Chris answered, not even looking up
from his food.

"To my parent's house, which remains, my mother apologizes that she
couldn't make it. But the in-laws are in it." Britney answered next,
laughing at saying the in-laws.

"What about you Lance?"

"Um, back to Mississippi."

"I'm staying right here, my parents are coming to my house, so are Janine
and Steve. It's really cool, cuz I get to host everything this year."
Joey smiled triumphantly, which got a big laugh from the whole table,
excluding the child's table who couldn't really hear what was going on at
the large table.

"Well that sounds nice Joseph. Just don't screw up, the first time is
always the hardest." Lisa Timberlake said.

"Oh don't worry, I'm not about to. I'm going to make this the best
Christmas my family has ever seen. Ya know, it's gonna be the bomb."

"Good luck." JC teased under his breathe, getting the table into laughter
again.

"Can I be excused for a minute?" Justin asked out of no where, but his
mother just nodded. Justin slowly pushed his chair back, and turned from
the room. He walked slowly out of viewing distance, and then pounced up
the stairs. Rushing into the bedroom.

Rummaging through his bag, he found what he was looking for. He had
hidden a bag of acid inside his glasses case. Opening the case, he pulled
out the bag, and opening the bag he pulled out what he was looking for,
one pill of acid. He was startled to hear some one behind him.

"I knew you weren't done with it." He turned to see Britney standing
their. Happy that it wasn't anyone else, he swallowed the pill. "And you
do it right in front of me, content that I won't tell anyone." Britney
frowned, looking at her friend with disgust.

"Britney, I need them. I can hide it really good now, it's almost like
I'm not even doing it, no one knows. They haven't been able to tell yet."
Justin replied to her, hoping she would understand.

"No, they don't know yet Justin. But what about Josh? You ever gonna tell
him that you're doing drugs? He's your boyfriend now, he deserves to know
something like that."

"He wouldn't be my boyfriend if he knew I did drugs."

"You don't think do you Justin? He loves you, he'll love you even more if
you need it. And you do, you need all the love you can get, because right
now you think that pill is what you need." Regrettfully she walked from
the room, leaving behind the person she had argued with for a second
time. The first time, he had tried to end of his life, but she knew he
would do that this time. She knew that with in a minute he would come
down, acting as if nothing had happened.

She knew that he would turn away his drink, saying he didn't want anymore
alcohol for the night. She knew the real reason was because he knew
mixing acid and alcohol was dangerous. And she knew that no one else
would know, she knew he could hide it good enough. But most of all she
knew that she was tired of being the one that knew, the one that knew it
all.

Only one of her conclusions was wrong, Justin came down right after her,
not even giving her ten seconds before he was sitting down at the table
again.

"Did I miss anything?" Justin asked, jumping right back into the
conversation.

"No, we were just talking about our plans for Christmas."

"Weren't you discussing that when I left dad?" Justin laughed.

"Yes, but we were discussing what we are going to do tomorrow, as in this
family." Justin's father replied to him.

"Oh, okay." Justin continued eating, and he found JC's hand in one of his
under the table. He grabbed onto it, and the meal continued in relatively
the same manner, a good one.

------------

"I think it's about time the rest of us get to bed too." Lynn Harless
spoke for herself and the rest of the room. She was sitting in her living
room with Lisa, Heather, Justin and JC. All the friends had left a good
hour ago, and the other family members had gone to bed shortly after.

"That sounds pretty good right now." JC agreed, standing to his feet and
pulling Justin up next to him. "Come on baby." Justin smiled, and
followed. He was still wide awake, one of the side effects from acid, it
kept you up for hours into the morning. Something he wasn't going to be
able to hide from JC.

Once upstairs, they slid into the room, and Justin quickly jumped onto
the bed rolling around on the covers. JC however just laughed, and walked
slowly to the bed.

"Fuck!"

"What's wrong?" Justin asked, containing himself from laughing at the
JC's sudden change of mood.

"I just kicked your glasses case, maybe you should have picked it up." JC
looked down, noticing that the case was open. He couldn't tell from
looking down, but as he bent closer, he noticed that a bag with pills in
it was lying next to it. "What are these Just?"

Justin looked up, and froze. He didn't know what to say.

"What are they baby?" JC asked again, this time with a litte worry in his
voice.

"Um, they're, they're...." Justin couldn't lie to JC's face, he had never
been able to do that.

"What?" JC asked again with more force.

"They're acid pills."

"They're what?"

"It's a drug, I've been taking it for a while." Justin answered, his face
growing fearful as JC's face became more and more anger strickened.

"You've been taking drugs. Anything else you wanna tell me?"

"No, I swear that it's. It's the only drug I have." Justin's face swore
the truth, but JC just frowned at him.

"I can't believe you. You know how I hate drugs, and you know that I love
you. So what do I do? Tell me, do I just let this slide, like I never
knew anything? Or do I handle it in a sensible way?"

"I don't know, I'm sorry, I just..." Nothing came from his mouth, he
couldn't explain it. Not to JC at least, he couldn't explain anything
like this to JC, he could see the disappointment in JC's eyes the whole
time he spoke. And that's when the tears started flowing, and the sobs
accompanied them.

Looking over to his right, JC caught a glimpse of the clock, and a frown
passed over his face. "Merry Christmas Justin, you've made this one so
great."

------------------

TBC....

------------------

This chapter threw alot at you. They got together, Christmas Eve came,
Justin's drug problem is exposed, and now the question is, will the still
be together for Christmas Day? I don't know, the next chapter won't be
out until the new year probably, I say probably because if I get annoyed
with family then I will work on this. But if my family is decent for a
change, then you'll won't see this story until the New Year.

So I just want to wish every one a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy
Kwanza, and Best Wishes in the New Year.