Date: Mon, 03 Feb 2003 23:52:36 -0500
From: Jay Kool <jaykool74@hotmail.com>
Subject: College Firsts  - Chapter 9

College First by Jay Kool (jaykool74@hotmail.com)

Before I begin with the latest chapter of this story, I would like to
apologize for not writing any new stories for the longest time (my last
story is music store teen in the gay high school section).  I thought that
I had finished this story series, but realized after reading it a year and
a half later that I should continue this story.  If you haven't read any of
the previous chapters, you may wish to do some catch-up reading, you will
not be disappointed.

This story isn't meant to be philosophical, it just ponders a lingering
question in gay culture.  By the way, this story is completely fictional as
are the characters.

Feedback is appreciated (no flames, if you aren't gay then why are you
reading gay stories?).  Let me know, should I continue with this story or
end it gracefully?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9 - "Is there such a thing as 'casual sex'?"

	Steve left my room early this morning to sneak back into his room,
hopefully unnoticed by his roommates.  Steve was definitely a closet case
by all means, worse than me.  He never would've made a move if he wasn't
drunk, no matter how provokingly sexy I can be.  I knew his deepest darkest
secret, something he wanted no one else to ever find out.  I actually felt
kind of good knowing that I knew something about Steve that no one else
knew.  Kind of gives a mini power trip, but I'd never blackmale
Steve... well maybe (joking).
	I fell back asleep only to be woken by the sunlight peering in
through the blinds.  You know, God is cruel to that way, whenever you have
to get up it is never nice and bright outside to help you.  It is always
cloudy and gloomy.  I guess this is just life in the midwest.  I got up and
took a shower and decided to see if Steve was up yet.  I walked down to his
room, but no one answered my knocking.
	I went and got breakfast by myself at the dining commons, the food
sucked as always.  I swear I'm going to starve to death, I only eat salad
and cereal.  I eat healthier now than ever, but I don't think I'm getting
enough calories since I've lost 15lbs since starting college verus gaining
the freshman 15.  Looks like another honey nut cherrios day, woo-hoo!  My
parents think that their hard earned money is buying me great meals, if
they only knew.
	Wow, who is that hottie that just walked by?  I'm starting to get
hard and I've never even met him.  I'd have to say he is about 5'6" 120lbs
blonde (almost white, but not dyed) hair blue eyes.  Very thin, but just
the way he dresses and carries himself makes him so sexy.  His skin is
pale, light freckling on his nose.  Oh shit, I think he just caught me
starring at him... hopefully he doesn't take it the wrong way.  He is so
cute, dressed in brown cords (not too tight but not too lose) and a preppy
darker brown sweater.  He looks like he wears size 28 inch waist and a
small shirt.  How can I figure out a way to talk to him without looking
stupid or obviously gay to the rest of the dining commons?
	He's actually holding eye contact with me... he's sitting alone.
What the hell it's time to make a move.  Why is he getting up?  He's
walking this way... "Hey do you mind if I join you?"
	"um no, my name is Jay"
	"My name is Justin.  Are you in one of my classes or something, you
keep looking at me like you know me."
	"I don't think so..."
	"So you were looking at me for the same reason I was looking at
you?"
	"huh?"
	"You think I'm cute, admit it.  It's college, it's now or never."
	"Yes you are cute.  Do you have a significant other?"
	"No, you?"
	"No... you want to hangout at my place?  My roommate is out."
	"Sure!"

	And with that we both turned in our trays heading toward my dorm,
we made small chit chat about where we grew up at, classes we were taking,
etc.  I found out that we shared a lot in common and that he was from
California.  I wouldn've never guess that since he was so pale, but I guess
stereotypes are meant to be broken.  As I walked in to the dorm, I passed
Steve and his roommates leaving and we exchange brief greetings, continuing
on our paths.  A few of the parents were returning their offspring from a
weekend break, I hope Chad doesn't come back earlier than his normal 8PM.
We finally made it up to my room where I unlocked the door and I guess
since the coast was clear he decided to grab my ass.  I about blew my load
in anticipation of him grabbing something else.
	We went in my room and I locked the door, kidding with him that he
was locked in and wasn't getting out until I was pleasured.  Justin
immediately dropped to his knees and started sucking at my crotch, it was
so sexy.  Pretty soon we were both stripping naked, throwing our clothes on
our way to the bedroom.  I was rock hard and didn't get to see his cock
until I was in the bedroom.  He was definitely hung, 7.5 inches and a
little thinner than average with small balls.  I gagged trying to deep
throat his cock, his precum tasted nice and sweet (he precums a lot).
After sucking him for a few minutes, we started to 69.
	His body was chilzed and smooth, hardly any hair except for his
legs and cock.  His hair was blonde there too.  His cock had a brown head
and brown balls, different than my pinkish purple.  His abs were amazing,
not an ounce of fat.  Justin started to finger my ass, and I think he was
surprised at how loose my asshole was as he started to finger fuck me with
two fingers.  His fingers felt so good and I started to moan while sucking
which caused Justin's cock to flex.  After a few moments of finger fucking
I was begging to be fucked, I wanted to feel Justin's cock inside of me.  I
was turning into such a little slut.
	I pulled away from Justin and opened a dresser drawer to get a
common and some lube out.  I opened the condom and slipped it down his nice
7.5 inch shaft.  His cock is so pretty, and soon it was going to be fucking
me.  I started to lube his cock before I sat down on his cock slowly,
letting my ass adjust to it's girth.  I may be loose, but it always takes a
little to get used to, plus it feels good to go slow at first.  I slowly
rode up and down on Justin's cock as it impalled me, it felt so good.  I
was starting to moan and I could feel Justin's cock head flex in my anus.
His face reflected sheer escatasy as I slowly decided to pick up speed.  I
increased the length that I would pull off to barely pulling off of
Justin's dick and picked up more speed.  I worked his cock with my ass like
a possessed boy, I couldn't get enough of his cock.  I needed his cock more
than any other cock in my life including Chad's.  All of a sudden I started
to cum (without even touching my cock) and as my ass clenched on Justin, he
started to cum too.  It felt amazing to cum without even touching my
cock... it shows how horny Justin made me.  He was just too damn sexy.
	Just as I started to collapse on top of Justin, I heard the door
open and in walked Chad with his parents.  I was caught by Chad's parents
with a semi-hard cock still in my ass.  Chad would have a lot of explain to
do as they pulled back out of his room as soon as they seen what was going
on.  I inadvertantly came out of the closet to Chad's parents without even
saying a word, and I brought Justin with me.  I got up off of Justin and
ushered him to get dressed as I thought that we wouldn't have time to get
cleaned up.  I exchanged my contact information with Justin and performed a
quick cleanup of the bedroom.
	I walked Justin out of my dorm room, I realized that Chad and his
parents were waiting in the hall.  No one looked happy.

---- Chad's thoughts -----

	Imagine trying to explain to your parents, your deeply religous and
homophobic parents, why your roommate was fucking another guy.  Try to
explain (lie) to them how you had no clue that your roommate was gay, that
your roommate and you both had girlfriends.  Try to justify your
independence why living with a sinner (okay that would be their words, not
yours but you get the point).  Trying to explain to your parents that you
do not condone gay activities and had no clue about the guy you love, but
who you've been pushing away afraid that this very moment would happen.
Explaining to people who do not provide any sympathy for anyone that they
even suspect as being a sinner.  Explaining to someone who would never
forgive you if they found out you were gay, their image would be tarnished
with their church forever ruining them.
	Here is the boy I love, truly love that I caught with another great
looking guy.  A guy I can tell he loves, that he is infatuated with and
could easily fall in love with.  A guy who would probably give him the
attention, affection and relationship that he has wanted for so long.  I
love Jay, who I've been pushing away since the moment I realized that I was
starting to fall in love for fear of what my family and friends would
think.
	It's not cool to be gay, it's not really accepted and it is an easy
way for others to justify stripping you of your rights and dignity.  The
press and TV try to accept the gay community, but they mock the gay
community with shows like 'Will and Grace' and the portrayl of gays in
'Rosanne'.  I've never seen 'Queer as Folk' to know how HBO views gays, but
I bet their is some mocking of gay culture.  Ellen only came out to America
on her show to boost ratings, not because she thought it would help the gay
community.  Besides lesbians are accepted more than gays.  Maybe if
Hollywood had tried to help the gay community via television and movies in
the 70s and 80s, during the sexual revolution, maybe things would be better
today.  Maybe gays wouldn't have to fear for their safety and they would be
accepted as people.
	These are the reasons it is so hard to come out, fear of losing of
parents, losing friends, and lose of safety.  And if I don't come out or
allow myself to have a closer relationship with Jay, I could lose him to
Justin.  Boy this weekend just went from 0 to the worst of my life in less
than 2 seconds.  How can I handle this stress and manage my emotions in
front of my parents?  How can I come out to them without losing my life?
	"Chad, are you okay?  Earth to Chad, come in Chad..." Jay said
before my parents started baraging him to leave their son alone.  That
there was no way in hell that their son was going to live with this sinner.
That Jay wasn't going to corrupt their son who has never done anything like
this in his life.
	"Mom, Dad... leave him alone.  Stop yelling at him, he hasn't done
anything... "
	"Wrong, you call him having gay sex in your room nothing wrong?  He
has committed a serious sin.  Who knows what diseases this little faggot
has?" my father said as Jay turned completely white and fainted.
	"Dad, Mom, leave him alone... I love him... Why must you hate him?
If you hate him you have to hate me.  I corrupted him, I'm the one that
instigated sex.  I was curious, so was he."  I said as we went into my dorm
room and closed the door.  My mother got a wash cloth and soaked it with
cold water.


---- Back to Jay's thoughts ----

	I could feel myself slip in and out of consciousness before I felt
something wet on my forehead.  I don't remember fainting but apparently it
happened while Chad's dad was calling me a faggot.  "Bill, shut up and
leave the poor boy alone, can't you see that you are nerving him up.  He
fainted, he feels cold almost like he is going into shock.  How would you
feel if you killed this poor boy."  Leave it to a mother to actually mother
someone's son when he is in need.
	"Dad, let he who has no sins through the first stone.  You
shouldn't...  judge" Chad said right before his dad stormed out of the dorm
room.
	"Jay, ignore him.  It'll take a while to accept all of this, we
weren't prepared.  Don't try to get up, just lie still for a few more
moment.  He is still white as a ghost and cold.  Chad go get a blanket."
	The next thing I knew I was on a bed in a hospital.  I opened my
eyes to see Chad and my parents sitting by my bedside.  I guess I am a
lucky guy, God takes care of you in weird ways.  Apparenlty the fact that
Chad's parents found out that I was gay wasn't the reason why I fainted.
It just happened to be a coincidence that my apendix started to inflame at
that moment with infection, thus the reason I started to go into shock.  It
wouldn've happened with me laying on top of Justin had I not been caught by
Chad and his parents.
	I had to have my appendix removed and spend about two weeks in the
hospital on campus.  I received a lot of sympathy from the nurses (guys and
girls).  Justin spent every night sleeping in my room and confessed his
feelings for me, he was so sweet that it melted my heart to see him
everytime after that.  After long talks every night for a week, Chad and I
decided to tell our girlfriends that we were more than bisexual, that we
were gay and that we didn't want to date them anymore.  It went a little
better than I expected, Chad wasn't put in the hospital due to injuries I
thought he would sustain, and I had enough sympathy to protect me from an
emotional outburst.  We are still friends with our ex-girlfriends, heck we
go shopping with them whenever we get the opportunity, hey it's a great way
to hangout with them.  It also keeps the clueless girls in the mall from
hitting on us because they thing we have girlfriends.  Chad and I are
devising a way to provide subtle clues to my parents to let them know that
we are gay before we actually tell them.  I will feel so relieved when that
happens.
	Because of the incident and excitement in the dorm, it was more
readily accepted that Chad and I were gay without repurcussions.  It gave a
few of our friends a reason to come out.  I received so much sympathy from
all of the girls on the floor that it was so cool.  They actually bought me
flowers for when I came home from the hospital, I almost cried (I'm usually
not emotional like that).  My medical excuse bailed me out of finals and I
received a bunch of incompletes that I needed to make up this semester...
Looks like I will be on the 4.5 year graduation plan.  I think I'll take an
extra half year to enjoy college.
	Chad and his father haven't spoken since the day I was caught and
Chad defended me.  Maybe someday he will come to his senses and realize
that family is everything.  Chad's mother has accepted me as a son, she
sees in me what Chad sees in me (or so I've been told).  She has tried to
explain that Chad's father was shocked by what he saw, that he never ever
expected to see what he saw and that he will eventually get over it and
move on.  Then the healing can begin.  Time can mend broken hearts and
forgiveness will prevail.
	Apparently this day taught me that there was no such thing as
causal sex.  I inadvertently came out to Chad's parents, dragging him with
me.  I found out a few weeks later, that Justin never really wanted
anything but sex.  That gave me the opportunity to tell him that he need to
take some antibiotics for some STD that i caught off of him.  Justin and I
haven't talked since I recommended a doctor to take care of his sexual
problem, I think that I embarassed him.  I had a little bit of trouble
explaining that part of the bill of health to my parents.