Date: Sat, 30 Mar 2002 02:54:08 +0000
From: Thomas-Andre Bardwell <black_divagod@hotmail.com>
Subject: IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME

Dave and I had known about each other for a while.
We were in the same graduating class and we knew where each other lived on
campus. And that's was about all we knew about each other.
Well, he probably knew I was a fag -- I'm not very hidden about it
And I knew he had a girlfriend -- Amber. I knew Amber; this chick was
annoying.
I had her in one of my Literature classes' freshman year and she would
always run off at the mouth about the most inane and random stuff like how
she had read Whitman in High School and it had inspired her to write this
poem about a leaf...
But she had big tits and straight men generally overlook such character flaw
for such assets.  Dave had so much so that the night after they had fucked
on one of their first date, they decided it would be a good idea to date for
the next three years.
Anyway.
Our campus is so small that I was surprised that we never had any
interaction at campus events, parties or even at the dining hall, and that I
also knew nothing about him beyond this information.  Gossiping about people
is a campus wide activity and gossip about him never seemed to come up.  I
always wondered why.
I suppose this is what motivated me to start hanging out with him this past
summer.
I had decided to live on campus over the summer and so had Dave.
He worked at the Computer Center on campus full-time whereas I worked at as
a cushy office assistant full-time so we didn't see much of each other
during the day.
But we just so happened to be housed in the same building, on the same
floor, two doors away.
Hanging out with Dave was wonderful.
He's funny, charming and attentive.
He's has the widest smile I've ever seen and he's up for having a good time
and laughing at stupid shit.  We'd hang out most times and just sit in his
room, tell stories and laugh our asses off.  It was great.
I started to notice too that he was a very attractive man.
Dave was half-Italian and half-Native American so he had the most beautiful
dark olive skin.
Some weekends he'd sit out in the sun for hours to deepen his color -- his
tan was near perfect.
He also had the most wonderful hair -- it was long and dark with complicated,
messy curls.  I chastised him every time I'd see him with it up in a messy
ponytail.
"You have such fabulous hair!"
"Well, thank you." He'd replied.  "None of my girlfriends have ever liked it
though."
"Why?"
"No offense, but they said it looked `gay'."
Now, Dave couldn't look gay if he tried (and he tried, it'd be a funny site
indeed).
Dave was a BIG guy.
He was 6'1", with broad shoulders, and a massive upper body.
He told me that he used to be a linebacker but that he wasn't a fan of all
the pressure of winning games, being popular, and fucking girls.
It just wasn't his thing.  Dave's not a player by any means.
He's very shy and insecure about his looks; he doesn't think he looks too
hot.
Even though I've told him that if he were queer, I'd let him fuck the shit
out of me
And I don't let ugly men fuck me...easily.
"Thanks." He said busting out in nervous laughter.
"Well, it's true." I defended.
This was the kind of relationship we had: he knew I was queer, he was cool
with that, he asked me his typical "how-do-you-guys-do-that questions, and I
answered them graphically, and we'd get a good kick out of how uncomfortable
the answers made him.
Good fun like that.
I was very comfortable and open my sexuality and he enjoyed every bit of it.
There was never any weird sexual tension either.
I never told him these things to get him intrigued to then subsequently get
him in bed
And I never felt as if he was pulling things out of me because he was
questioning.
I just thought we just two cool dudes who enjoyed each other's company and
liked to shoot the shit -- nothing more.
We even helped each other get ready for dates over the summer.
I helped him pick out a decent outfit to go see (fuck) his girlfriend and he
helped me settle down the butterflies I had about going on my first date one
of my random tricks.
We were shaping up to be really good friends.
But then as soon as summer drew to a close and all of my old friends were
coming back, we started drifting apart.
It was intentionally but I think that both of us knew it was going to
happen.
I was going to get more involved with our college newspaper and he couldn't
wait to fuck his girlfriend consistently so eventually we would have drifted
apart anyway.
We had separate lives.
But during the second semester, we started to talk again and we realized how
much we missed each other's company.
"God, it was so great talking to you!" he cried
"Yeah.  You are so cool." I said then we both laughed as we realized that I
used such a juvenile term and genuinely meant it (and that it really
worked).
We met up at the coffee shop one Thursday evening and we sparked up a
conversation.
He had told me that he had recently broken up with Amber; I had told him
that I had recently broken up with my boyfriend.
We coddled each other at first: "it's okay.  There are other fish in the
sea."
Then we got back to just shooting the shit again (cars, television, movies,
music, annoying professors and cool-ass people).  It was great!
Then we started talking about sex.  Gay sex.
I started to tell him about how my ex-boyfriend and I met -- we had fucked at
a Halloween Party (he was "Jesus"; I was Catwoman, circa 1960).
I told him that the only reason why I stayed was because he had a huge dong.
9".
"No way!"
"Yep.  Beer-bottle round too.  It was fabulous.  Really that's the only
thing I'll miss"
We laughed.  Dave more so than I.
"I have a question." He asked with trepidation.  "Doesn't something that big
hurt?"
"At first.  But I'm a size queen, I'll endure pain for a big dick."
He snickered.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
"Do you seek guys out with big long dicks?"
"No but I prefer them.  And they don't have to be 9-inch monsters but fairly
large in width.  Yeah, that's what I enjoy the most is width.  You can be a
9-inches but have a pencil of a dick."
"I see.  That's good I guess.  Amber told me that she wished I wasn't so
wide."
"Really?" I said.  Now this was getting interesting.
"Yeah. She said it hurt her.  She was real tight though." Then Dave's words
kinda trailed off, his mind probably wandered back to memories of fucking
Amber.
He developed a devilish smile.
"You got a kick out of that didn't you?"
"Huh?" He said, jolting back into reality.
"Knowing that you hurt her."
"Yeah." He chuckled.  "It was good."
"Yeah you tops get so much enjoyment out of our pain."
"Hey we don't force you to take it!  You bitches beg for it!" he asserted.
We both laughed.
"You've never topped anyone, have you Tom?"
"Nope.  I get more enjoyment out of being dominated."
Pause.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Yeah, shoot." I said.
"When I was 14, I fooled around with this boy from my neighborhood..."
"WHOA!!!  Stop the train! You did what?!" I shouted maybe too loudly.
"Yeah, I fooled around with a boy when I was younger."
"Really!" I gasped, still stunned.  "We've known each other for this long
and you haven't told me this crucial bit of information! For shame, David!
For shame!"
"Hey, I never thought it was relevant until now.  Can I finish please?"
"Well," I said. "Give me a minute to let the new information sink in at
least."
He snickered and continued.
"Well, I let him top me and he wasn't that big but it was so uncomfortable
that I think that's what ultimately turned me off from being gay."
I sat back stunned for a moment.  Trying to figure out what to say next.
"I mean he let me top him later but I always leaned more toward women so
that wasn't too uncomfortable you know, talking on the dominant masculine
role of being on top sexually.  But from then on, being gay meant being on
the bottom and enduring a pain that I hated so I think that's what turned me
off from the whole thing."
Still I sat there stunned.
"Tom?  Are you alive?"
"Yeah.  Wow!  I never suspected that you would have ever even tried
something like that."
"Well, you know I experimented.  That's about it.  I've never really pursued
another encounter like that again."
"Well, if you ever want to release some tension, I'm right in the next
couple of dorms." I said recalling our early conversation about how breaking
up from your significant other sucks because you lose consistent booty along
with everything else like companionship
Or whatever.
Dave laughed.
"Well, I might take you up on that offer if things get too hard."
We then laughed at the juvenile reference of the word "hard".
"I'm listed in the book, Dave."
"I know.  I might not be your type though.  My shit is not even near
9-inches long."
"Well, how did you hurt Amber then?"
"Well, I'm pretty well compensated in circumference."
My interests peaked.
"That's good enough, baby.  I'd rather be filled than prodded."
He laughed.
"Well I'm your man."
Then something weird happened.  Gone was the jovial climate of our
conversation.  Instantly.
In its place was sexual tension.
He looked at me.  I looked at him.  And somehow we both knew what was coming
up next.
"What would motivate you to fool around with a guy again?" I said after a
long pause.
"Well, I don't like hairy men anyway.  So any guy I'd mess with would have
to be pretty hairless.  And pretty small, too.  So as to remind me of a
woman.  That's what that boy looked like.  So I guess somewhat like him."
I am a fairly small gay boy.
I have what's been called the swimmers body: tight, toned and small.
I'm about 5'6" on a good day.
But I have full luscious lips and big brown eyes with the entire package set
off with rich, dark chocolate skin.
I admit to being pretty fem and dainty.  And the men that I gravitate toward
certainly treat me like as such.  If he has manners is what attracts me to
guys `cuz he'll automatically treat me like as he would any girl (opening
doors, pulling out chairs, offering his coat).
"Well, we're a perfect match aren't we?" I cooed.
"Yeah..." He said.  "Do you wanna go back to my place to talk some more?"
"Yeah sure."
During the walk back we didn't talk much and as we sat in his room for the
first couple minutes, we didn't talk that much either.
"Dave," I started. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to.  I was
only playing."
"No I want to.  I just don't want you to get attached if you feel something
more."
"Don't worry, Dave. I'm a big boy."
"And I don't want things to be awkward afterwards, you know?  I still want
us to be cool."
"We can't predict what will happen afterwards; we have no control over that.
  But if you don't that you want to then it's fine."  I assured.
"I know." He bemused.
I then got up and stood behind him.
He had seated himself at his usual spot, his computer, and I stood behind
him and started to rub his back gently.
He moaned.
"I haven't gotten one of these in a long time."
"I'm pretty good at massages.  If you want I can give you one."
He thought about it.  We both knew that this was our opening.
"Yeah sure."
Dave got up and in one swift moment, tore off his shirt and flopped himself
onto his bed.
I slipped off my sandals and got on top of him.
When I give men a back massage, I really get into it.
I guess it becomes more sexual when it with someone you're attracted to.
I had barely gotten started when he motioned for me to stop and started to
roll himself over to face me.  I rose up off of his body to let him move
easier.
When he had finished, something told me that it was okay to sit on his lap.
We smiled at each other.
And he reached for my head.
"I hope this is a good idea."
He kissed me.
Our kiss turned instantly passionate as our tongues made rapid swats at one
another.
I took my hand and stroked his recently shaved head -- I about screamed when
I saw that his beautiful hair was missing; it would have been great to run
my hands through it now.
He took his hands and started to remove me top and expertly unbuttoned the
entire shirt in mere seconds -- this boy was a pro.
I felt his crotch stir beneath me and I moaned in delight.
It kept growing and growing and growing.  I massage his growing member with
my crotch thereby making him moan.
I removed myself from his mouth and started to kiss down his chest.
Leaving markings on his chest.
I reached his crotch and inhaled it odor.  Manly.  Strong.  Athletic.
I removed the button with my teeth and quickly took down the zipper.
His penis darted at me with an eager jolt.  It was wet with pre-cum and
throbbing like mad.  I took it into my mouth quickly and deeply.
Dave wasn't that large (I'll say maybe 6-1/2) but he certainly was wide.
I bobbed up and down on his dick vigorously.
Feverishly.  This is what I've missed for so long.
After a few minutes, though, he made me stop.
"I was about to cum.  Damn, you're good.  But I don't want to cum yet."
He got up and with his dick hard and proud swinging and went over to his
desk.
"Take off your pants." He said bluntly as he rummaged in his desk.
I knew what was coming and I got so excited.  I hadn't been fucked in a long
time.
I laid down and removed my bottom quickly and just as quickly, he'd come
back with his sheathed, lubed member.
"The condom itself is already lubricated so I just put a little more lube on
for your benefit." I wanted to say thanks or something but that seemed
rather odd.  So I just nodded my head in acknowledgement.
He grabbed my ankles and straddled in between my legs.
He then positioned himself very carefully and leaned down to kiss me.
As he bit my lip, he chose to enter me and it was a smooth attempt.
By the time the pain from his bite subsided, he had his entire member inside
of me.
I began to thrust very assuredly and rapidly.
Everytime he'd pull out and I'd breathe, he'd thrust right back.
This rhythm drove me crazy.
In
And out
In
And out
In
Out
In
Out
The bed creaked annoyingly beneath us and we both moaned like unabashed
children.
We kept eye contact with one another and only kissed each other lightly,
twice after he had entered me.
In
And out
In
And out
In
And
Out
In
Out
In
Out
In and out and in and out and in and out
Then for the first time he shut his eyes and screamed
"Ahh!!! I'm Coming!!"
And the thrusting ceased as I felt the condom fill with cum.  Tons of it.
This must have been a long time coming for him as well.
Then suddenly he jabbed himself back into me deep and that sent me over the
edge.
I shocked myself by cumming so hard without even touching myself.
We laid there afterwards in silence.
Then he said: "that was awesome, Tom"
After a beat, the both of us burst out in uproarious laughter.
"Awesome?"  I jabbed.  "Was it like catchy a gnarly wave, man?"
"Shut up, Tom" He chuckled.
Pause.
"I hope we don't get weird."
"We will for a while, Dave.  That's just how it goes with casual sex but
we'll realize that getting all weird will be stupid and ineffective."  I
rationalized.
"Yeah."
Pause.
"What was with the porno scream, Dave?"
"What?"
"Oh God, I'm cumming.  Argh!"  We laughed.