Date: Wed, 02 Nov 2011 23:05:19 -0700
From: marianasdeep3@hushmail.com
Subject: Sending Out the Wrong Messages?

I sent out some wrong messages and got fucked at a 24 Hour Fitness.
I say `wrong messages,' but I'm left wondering if I subconsciously
intended to send those messages.  In other words whether they were
wrong or right.  I guess that's why I'm exploring this here.

See, it wasn't the first time I got fucked, but it devastated my
newfound manhood, rekindled after having lost it the first time
with an episode in college.  That affair is described in another
story at Nifty called Fucked by the Man of the House

[http://www.nifty.org/nifty/bisexual/college/fucked-by-the-man-of-the-house/ ].

Since then, I was successfully suppressing my
homosexual desires.  My name is Brian, and I consider myself
bisexual, but I struggle with the homosexual side.  The first time
I GOT fucked, I had just started fucking my girlfriend Vicki.
Fucking Vicki, I was feeling virile, but then I started getting
turned on by the virility of my roommate's boyfriend, a guy named
Robert who could see right through me, and he was very experienced
manipulating what he perceived in others into his sexual conquests
of both men and women.  Robert fucked me for my first time. The
incident occurred over a period of a week or two.  I should say
incidents because I started with blowjobs, then got fucked several
times, going from closeted denial to craving his cock, ultimately
riding it and fucking myself with it.  But then suddenly he was
gone.

Vicki and I resumed our relationship, and I once again buried the
homosexual bottom inside me.  I found that if my confidence is up,
and I let myself go a few days, in other words no jacking off, I
become a dominant heterosexual.  I'll admit that the fact that I
have to set myself up like that means the homosexual urge is
stronger.  But the best sex I've ever had was when I was getting
Vicki pregnant.  We married right after college and quickly decided
to have kids.  When you're fucking to produce life it's erotic as
hell.  The woman's fertility and the man's virility are worshipped
in different cultures, the womb, the phallus, and I can see why.
Fucking to produce life is all about sperm release and ovulation,
potency and fertility, fucking as often as you can when the cycle
comes around.  I shoot X's and Y's, so at 24 I am already a proud
dad of a girl and boy.  They're only a year apart in age, which
means I'm potent.  And that feeds my narcissism.

I'm discovering, ironically, that it's narcissism that makes me
want to bottom.  I have a beautiful body, a swimmer's build, svelt,
tight assed, and usually tanned.  I don't have much in the cock
department, which sometimes sends me into sexual confidence
struggles.  But I'm toned.  I have a defined six pack, but I don't
have skin stretched tight like a work-out freak.  I eat just enough
ice-cream to make my skin glow soft, illuminating that I indulge in
a little hedonism.  I've strengthened my lower back enough that it
pulls my ass up into a pert little upturned butt. There's a thin
line between being proud of oneself and desiring oneself.  It's
weird to say, but I would fuck myself if I could.  That's why I am
attracted to guys with similar builds.  The idea that someone with
my build wants to fuck me sends me over the top.  My gay friends
tell me that ironically a bottom has all the power in sex.  They
decide if the fuck goes forward or not by spreading their legs or
not, or offering their ass upturned or not.  Not me.  If I'm
seduced by someone with my build, who's psychologically and
sexually dominant, I surrender.  I bend over.  Robert was like
that, and I more than surrendered.

But the key word is seduced.  Robert made me realize that, though I
suppress the desire, and whether I'm aware of it or not, I'm often
looking to have my little upturned butt fucked.  That's why I'm
wondering what happened at the 24 Fitness.  Was I looking for it?
Robert made me want it before he fucked me.  Unfortunately the guys
who fucked me at the 24 Fitness did not, nor were they my build
like Robert.  They were weight lifters.  They weren't gross like
Mr. Universe, or large like football players with as much bulk as
muscle.  They were just strong, but I'm not into strong.  Which is
to say that I didn't want to get fucked...well, at least not at
first.  Which is to say I wasn't seduced.  Which is to say that I
wasn't looking to get fucked.

Or was I?  Maybe I was looking for it, sending out these messages
like I often do, and just didn't like at first what I attracted.
Once the fucking started, I wanted it, BAD.  I think I wanted it
when I walked into the place, and took it from the ones I attracted
even if they weren't exactly my type.  What messages DID I send,
and WHY?  I'm forcing myself to be honest here.  The guys were
watching me at times while I worked out.  I caught their glances,
and it thrilled me.  Again, me as an object of desire thrills me.
Did I lead them on?  The thrill of their glances gave me boners at
times.  Were they noticeable in my tight shorts?  If so, I suppose
that was one of my wrong messages.  But did that mean that I wanted
them to actually fuck me?  Was I sending out other messages?

I'm not a gym rat or into weightlifting or weightlifters, so I
guess I should explain why I was in a 24 Fitness in the first
place.  Once I finished college, I no longer had access to a
swimming pool and many of the 24 Fitnesses have pools.  The YMCAs
have pools and gym facilities, but they're more community and
family rather than workout oriented.  And thanks to the Village
People, everyone knows it's fun to live at the YMCA.  I didn't want
to cruise or get cruised by gay guys.  I was trying to keep that
part of me down.  For some reason, I didn't think a 24 Fitness
would have that problem, which is why I didn't expect what happened
to me.

So mostly I just swim, then hit the locker room...I got fucked in the
locker room.  Well, at least a part of the locker room.  So before
I recount the event I should explain something.  24 Fitnesses are
nationwide, and work takes me to new ones all the time.  The locker
rooms and showers are all different, and it can be a bit
disorienting.  Some have a shower room with multiple shower heads,
you know, like high school.  Some have shower grottos, at least
somewhat private.  The nicer ones have shower stalls.  Most of the
24 Fitnesses have sauna, steam room and spa.  These are usually co-
ed on the pool deck.  The nicer ones also have these facilities in
the locker room.  The locker rooms are always busy, a mix of twenty-
somethings, middle and old ages, thus not a place you would expect
to be cruised.

Well, what happened?  After working late on the road, I decided to
work out.  I was thus in an unfamiliar 24 Fitness late.  The locker
room was busy when I went to change into my suit.  I know the
locker room etiquette--be private and respect others privacy--but
sometimes it can be a bit difficult.  24 Fitnesses are into mirrors
in the workout areas, and that philosophy often spills into the
locker room.  I'm proud of my body, enough to strip completely nude
before putting on my suit or workout shorts.  Do I intend to send a
message when I do that?  Not to anyone specifically, but I'll
indulge someone's fantasy to entice mine.  It's also part of the
bravado, the checking each other out reminiscent of high school.
But what I didn't know was that I was broadcasting in a set of
mirrors.  When I looked to my left, a mirror was reflecting a
mirror reflecting my backside ... and a guy staring at it who
couldn't tell that he was "busted."  I quickly put my suit on
because I started getting a boner, but bending over and lifting
each leg turned my ass up in his direction.  Another
"unintentional" message?  A speedo doesn't cover much, and the guy
must have noticed I left the room a little larger.

While swimming and focusing on the sub-marine, you don't really
notice your surroundings above the surface.  I stopped for a
breather between medleys when I first noticed the guy working out
on the weight machines.  Another couple of medleys later, he and
another guy were looking through the window between the weight-room
and the pool.  I was the only one in the pool area!  They were
watching ME!  When I finished my swim and climbed up onto the pool
deck, they really took notice.  A speedo doesn't leave too much to
the imagination, especially when wet, and I could tell I was being
sized up.  I left the pool for the locker room quickly, but I'm
sure they noticed that my size was increasing.  In the locker room,
I took a stall in the bathroom to regain composure and lose my
erection.  Then I went to change, deciding to do some strengthening
exercises.

The locker room was busy, but as I stripped off my swim-suit and
changed into workout shorts, I noticed this Asian guy kept finding
vantage points to watch me.  First stealing glances at the end of
my locker row, then acting like he was shaving in the mirror at a
nearby sink, but really staring at my reflection in it.  I could
tell he was a bottom by the way he melted whenever he looked at me,
especially when he got a front-on view of my chest.  I could relate
to his bottom desires, but I was a hell of a lot better at hiding
it.  I've not topped yet, but a new desire was growing in me as I
thought about fucking this guy, giving him what HE wanted.  Instead
I just showed it off a little more, deliberately taking my time.

I left the locker room and began sit-ups, pushups, and leg-lifts on
the floor mat area.  The weightlifting area was nearby, but I did
not notice the guys that had been scoping me in the pool.  So I
felt safe to enter the area with the work-out machines to do some
back-lifts.  There's a machine there I call the back-bar.  You bend
over this bar at your waist, face down with your ankles in stirrups
to lock you in position, then you free-lift your torso using your
back.  It's a great back strengthening exercise perfect for
conditioning the butterfly swimming stroke.

But bent over a bar with head and ankles lower than your butt is a
very submissive position.  Talk about offering your upturned ass!
And leave it to 24 Fitness's infatuation with mirrors to broadcast
my ass all over the exercise room.  At first I didn't notice
anyone, but then I caught the same two guys watching me in the pool
now staring at my ass in the mirror.  Not me, my ass.  Then there
was a third guy with them, and eventually all three were watching.
I started enjoying the attention, and the fantasy of getting fucked
right then and there.

When I finished my exercises, I returned to the floor mats to do
some stretching.  Eventually I was alone in the room, relieved to
have privacy.  When I finished, I gathered up to go to the locker
room and hit the shower.  When I entered, the locker room was empty
and no showers were running.  It felt strangely quiet, but it was
now very late, the whole facility was thinned out, so I wasn't too
surprised at being alone.

Though a little uncomfortable, being alone also made me feel
carefree about privacy.  I don't normally use a towel anyway.  As a
t-shirt and jeans type, I don't mind putting my clothes on wet
after a shower.  But I don't like to get my clothes wet, so I
usually strip nude and walk to the showers.  Am I sending messages?
 I don't think so.  Enough guys, especially older guys, walk around
nude, so it's not too unusual.  And now I had the room to myself,
so I stripped nude and walked to the showers.  I soon discovered
that this was one of the nicer facilities, with a hallway of
private shower stalls on each side.  I also noticed a glass door on
the left at the end of the hall.  I couldn't see in, but the wall
at the dead-end of the hall had a sign that said "Spa" with an
arrow pointing through the door.  Perfect!  Nothing better to relax
the muscles after a workout.  I had my choice, so I took the shower
stall at the end of the hall to quickly rinse my sweat off, then
left it to go to the spa.

If a spa is in the locker room, I feel free to use it nude.  I'm
not alone in that, and I thought that night it wouldn't matter
anyway because I had it to myself.  The glass door to the spa room
was steamed up, so I couldn't see inside before opening the door.
As I opened the door and walked in, I was surprised to see the
three guys from the weight-room already in the spa.  Normally if
the other occupants are nude too, it doesn't phase me and I just
settle in.  But they weren't nude, they were wearing board shorts.
Along with my surprise, it added up to some hesitation on my part,
at first turning to leave, then gaining the confidence to ignore
their prudishness and feel comfortable in my nudity.  I soon found
myself walking to the steps around on the other side, turning
around to descend the steps into the hot water, and taking my time
to get used to the rising levels of burning on my skin as I
submerged, eventually enough to sit on the seat.  My nude body had
been on full display to each of them from all directions, my chest,
tits, torso and cock as I entered the room, my profile as I turned
walking around the edge, adding the curvature of my ass to the
parade, then my backside displaying my upturned butt until I
completed the U-turn and descended the steps into the water.  All
three of them were now between me and the door, and that's when I
first had the unsettling feeling of the vulnerability of being
nude, the power differential with them being semi-dressed.  They
seemed uncomfortable to be sharing the spa with someone nude, and
turned their eyes away to register it.  I thought that would be it,
the affront over, now starts the ignoring, the go along to get
along.  But they wanted more to get along:

"What are you looking for?" one of them said.  The ringleader.

I call him that because I never learned his name, and I only
learned the others' first names by his directions to them during
the whole incident, and only in passing.  I was confused by his
question and gave him an equally confused look.  I was also
surprised that the etiquette of silence had been broken.

"I'm sorry?"  I finally responded the implication that I didn't
hear.

"What are you looking for?" he asked again.

"I don't know what you mean." I responded more honestly, now
feeling unsettled.

"Let me put it another way.  What are you offering?" he asked.

"I don't know what you mean.  I'm not offering anything." I
answered, still unaware where this was going.

"You come into this hot tub nude with three men in it and you're
not offering anything?" he asked sounding incredulous.

I now knew where his questioning was leading.  It unsettled me
enough to be silent, at least long enough that he gained the upper
hand in the exchange, resuming his questioning.

"What are you looking for?  Aren't you looking for some cock?" he
asked.

"No." I said, scared enough not to be convincing.

"Sounds unsure to me.  What I really want to know is what you're
offering..." he said.

"...I'm not offering anything..." I tried to interrupt, but he
continued.

"...Are you offering just a blowjob, or can I fuck that cute butt of
yours?"

Now feeling really scared I began sliding down the seat toward the
stairs, but he was sliding with me.  And through the bubbling water
I didn't see his arm approaching me.  I suddenly felt a strong grip
around my wrist, pulling me back to him.

"Have you ever been buttfucked?  Hm?  Ever been buttfucked?
Something tells me you've been buttfucked before."

"No."  I lied.

"No?  You've never been buttfucked?  That speedo tan line gives off
a flash of that upturned butt like a white-tailed deer.  I would
think with an ass display like that you would have had some serious
cock up your butt by now."

"No."  I lied again.

"Would you like to get buttfucked?  Hm?"  My silence egged him on,
"You've been giving us an ass invitation all evening.  Would you
like to get buttfucked right now?"

"No." I said, trailing off and raising the end as if a question,
"don't you believe me?" a response not as firm as the grip around
my arm, now turning into a hug around my shoulders.

"That sounded unsure.  Sounded almost like asking.  How about if I
buttfuck you right now so you can admit that you want it?"

"No...oh" I said, the ending "oh" trailing down as if a child's
complaint against what was now inevitable.

"Yeh ... ess," he responded, the ending "ess" trailing down in
mimicry, a parent's firm reply, "I think the way you advertise that
ass you really want that butt fucked."  Then pulling me in, my
shoulder blades were against his chest, "Why don't you sit on my
lap here and we can discuss how we can get that ass of yours
fucked."  Soon he had just one arm around my chest pressing my back
into his chest.  I could tell that he was loosening the draw of his
board shorts with the other hand.  When he lifted his butt off the
seat to get his shorts out from under his ass, his cock in front
was already exposed through an open fly and made contact with one
of my butt-cheeks.  I knew that if I didn't move now, I was going
to get fucked.  I squirmed to get away, and that's when I felt his
strength.  There was absolutely no way I was going to be able to
move.  Suddenly all those erotic feelings of being dominated
returned to me.  I was never turned on by "strong" before, but
suddenly the complete dominance of his strength made me surge with
lust.

Before I knew it, his cock was lined up against my asshole.  I
expected that I was going to be bent over and fucked, and that I
was thus going to have more time to prepare.  I held a sit-up as
long as I could to raise my butt off of his cock, my back pinned to
his chest, but when I could no longer hold it, my ass settled onto
his cock.  The initial penetration surprised me right on the spot.
As he sat me on his lap, his cock opened my ring and entered my
asshole.  I yelped a little in pain, a little in surprise, but he
pushed me down.  The water of the tub allowed the cock to easily
slide in.  The only initial resistance to the fuck was the opening
of my insides, accomplished quickly with nothing but groans of
discomfort from me.  I was soon impaled balls deep on his cock.  He
wasted no time and started bouncing me off his lap to start the
fuck.  After more than two years, I was getting fucked again.
Another cock, only my second, was exploring my rectum for a place
to leave its sperm.

"That was too easy for a virgin.  Now I know you've been buttfucked
before."

Robert must have really opened me up the first time for him to
notice.  Then one of his thrusts hit my prostate and I moaned
pleasure.

"Aha.  Not only buttfucked, but enjoyed it too."  A couple more
bounces drew more moans of pleasure from me.  "And you're enjoying
it now...Danny, go watch the door.  That basketball game is going to
let out upstairs and I don't want to be interrupted while I fuck
this pussy."

Soon he rolled to his side with his cock still inserted, rotating
me and setting my knees on the seat.  He pulled out as he first
pushed my chest down on the spa deck, grabbed my hips to raise my
ass, and then stood in the water behind me.  As he lined up, we
heard from his friend still in the tub sitting next to us:

"Push it in and fuck that boy!"

He reinserted, drawing another yelp from me, then took a firm grasp
of my hips and went to town, pulling me toward him each time he
thrust in, and pushing me forward as he withdrew.

"Pussies who take cock up their ass this easily are usually great
cocksuckers too.  Jason, do want some head?"

Jason's answered only by moving into position.  I was pulled back
as Jason took his seat on the spa deck, legs spread around my head.
 The ringleader pulled my hair to pull my head up, forcing me to
watch Jason undo his board-shorts and pull his cock out.  I once
again had another cock-offering at my face, the first in two years.

"Kiss my cock with those pretty lips," Jason said as I felt the
hand in my hair push my head onto it, my reply a wet kiss on his
cock.  "Give it a lick too."

As I was kissing and licking his cock, my ass started getting
pounded.  I WANTED it, BAD, and started pushing back.

"Open."  Jason said bluntly, to the point.  I wanted Jason's cock
too and readily complied.  I had only been fucked while sucking
cock once before, with Robert and his friend Joe.  It was the
complete surrendering of my manhood then, and it quickly became so
again:  slurping, sucking, moaning, all while having my ass cheeks
rammed to the point of bruising and lifted and spread with a
slapping sound, all while feeling my insides open with each thrust,
my sphincter offering no more resistance to the invading cock.

When I looked up, I first realized that I was in a typical 24
Fitness house-of-mirrors.  I could see my face sucking cock, lips
atop, tongue out below, and my ass getting pounded from behind.
Jason came first, and soon the scene included cum on my lips and
running down my chin as I tasted and swallowed Jason's load.  He
pulled out and wiped the cock on my cheeks before raising his board
shorts up and retiring to the showers.  With the pounding
continuing from behind, I looked at my face smeared in cum, the cum
on my lips and tongue, and the remaining cum in my mouth.  I said
to the reflection, "You are a slut," as the thrusts from behind
stalled with each penetration, my butt now fucked, filling with cum.

When he was finished, he pulled out and gave my ass a stinging
swat, "That ass finally got what it needed.  Thanks for spreading
it. You're a great fuck."  He pulled on his board shorts then left
for the shower leaving me alone in the room.

Once again, I had to deal with the aftermath of having been fucked.
 My hole was open and dripping cum.  I regained enough composure to
get up and walk to the door, bent over, ass aching, opened it and
made sure the hallway was empty before grabbing an empty shower
stall.  I knew the other running showers were the guys washing me
off their cocks while I was trying to rinse their cum out of my
ass.

Just then, my shower door opened.  It was Danny, the one who had
guarded the door.  He having been left out of the action, I thought
I knew what he wanted as he walked up to me, but I was surprised
when he grabbed the sides of my head and pulled me in, his face in
my face.  I pulled back to resist as he pulled me in, but released
the tension with the surprise of his kiss on my lips.  I had never
been kissed by a guy, let alone a passionate kiss as his tongue
found mine.  I never knew it could be such a turn-on.  I started
getting hard.

"You're beautiful!" he said to me.  Then he started down my neck,
found my tits as he crossed my chest and sucked.  His hand grabbed
my cock and started stroking it.  "You have the skin of a
teenager!"  His sucking went lower, abdomen, pubic area, and soon
he was on the end of my cock.  I had never had my cock sucked by a
guy before, and it's true what they say:  a guy's better at it
knowing what it's like to have a cock.  The steam of the shower
filled the stall as I was building for my own release this time.
As a weightlifter, he was not my type, but he was gay with his
desires for me, and that was completely new to me.  Robert was not
like that.  Robert was just out to fuck anything that moved.  To
him, a hole was a hole.  He loved the conquest, but he didn't even
consider what he was doing as gay.  It was only gay if you took it
up the ass.  I got the sense that my most recent fuck was the same,
given his disinterest in anything but my "butt" and his control of
it, making sure it was going to be "buttfucked" before I left.  I
got the sense that my most recent suck was just trying to relieve
himself of an itch.  But now this guy was sucking my cock with
abandon, and soon took my load.

He stood up and I looked into his eyes.  I knew that he now wanted
his release, and thinking we were on equal terms, I started
lowering myself on him to give him a blowjob.  I was startled when
he grabbed my armpits and pulled me back up to standing.

"eh ah.  Turn around and bend over.  I'm fucking that ass."

I was surprised with the realization that he was a dominant top
after all.  I had never been fucked twice in a row before, and I
didn't think I could take it, at least not now.  I gave him a look
of reluctance, but he soon had my arm and was pulling me around.
Put your hands on the wall and bend over.  When I less than
complied, he slapped my ass.  I quickly complied to prevent more
stings, but now bending over only gave him more target to slap.

"The other guys liked your ass white.  I like the butts I fuck to
be red."  He slapped my ass again, then inserted and started
fucking.  Already opened, I didn't offer any resistance or feel any
pain, other than his stinging swats every four or five thrusts,
usually preceded with, "That's it butt boy.  Take it bitch."  It
didn't take him long and I was once again fucked.  For the first
time in my life, I had two different sperm loads up my ass.  When
he pulled out, he pulled me around into a kiss again.  An ass-
slapping top can be passionate?

He left the shower head and went into the changing section,
wrapping a towel around himself and reaching into his gym bag.  He
handed me a piece of paper.

"My phone number.  Call me." He pulled me into another kiss.

"I can't.  I'm married."

When I saw his surprise, I added to it, "Two kids."

"You're shittin' me.  A bottom slut like you?" He smiled.  "Call me
when you need to bottom again."

He left as I folded the paper into my wet hand.  It wasn't until I
heard the sounds of a bunch of basketball players hitting the
showers that I realized that I was completely nude in a locker room
with a red-slapped butt.  My hole was open, bruised and leaking
cum, and I was walking bent over from having been fucked.  But I
had to get out of there, hoping no one would notice.

I'm sure at least several, if not most in that locker room could
tell I had just been fucked.  I caught stares, some smiles and
pointing as I crossed the room and got dressed.  The ones who had
fucked me were long since gone, so I'm sure they were left
wondering who had fucked me, maybe even suspecting some of their
teammates already in the showers.  As I left the locker room in
shame, I looked at the paper in my hand and decided to keep it.
Not since Robert did I have a chance to get fucked without having
to cruise for it.  The bottom genie in me was released once again,
and I knew that I would have to have my butt fucked again soon.
Now married and a father, the more secretive the better.